#770 Let me bore you to sleep - PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL - Jason Newland (22nd NOVEMBER 2021)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is a light. Let me bore you to sleep.

Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Ba da bum bum bum. So, hey, as we speak, I am drinking a Slimfast chocolate.

Tasty, balanced meal. 204 calories or Kcal, whatever that means. Mmm, it's delicious.

It really does taste nice. So yeah, my ears still aren't exactly how they were. Not really back to, um, fulfilment.

To fulfilling my wishes as far as hearing. Still feel a bit blocked. But nowhere, uh, not as bad as they was.

But still a bit, um. I really notice it, if I'm honest. With, when I talk.

I don't seem to notice it as much when I'm listening to stuff. But when I hear my own voice, probably because I'm used, I know what it would normally, well, it just doesn't sound. At the normal volume.

Or as clear as I'm used to. Does that make sense? Does it, does it, does it, does it, does it make sense? I think so. It does to me.

So I'd like to say thank you to, um. To whoever, did anyone. Did anyone, who listened to yesterday's Let Me Boy To Sleep episode.

Did anyone subscribe to my YouTube channel? I think the answer's no. I think it's still 567 like it was yesterday. Unless it was 566 and one person has subscribed.

That's it. I mean, come on, please, help me out. Help me out.

Help a brother out. Come on. I feel I had one person actually subscribe.

Now, I don't ask so much in the world. My bald patch to grow back. I don't mean my bald patch.

Does that sound weird? Like, no, I don't mean I had a bald patch. And then it grew hair. And now I'd like the bald patch back.

I don't mean like that. I mean, I'd like the hair to be nice and thick and curly. On that little, um.

It's on my crown. The crown of my head. And, I can just feel it.

I mean, obviously I can feel anything I want to feel. Apart from my elbow. Unless I use the other hand.

Oh yeah, I could use the other hand. But, it just feels weird. I touch the crown.

I touch the little. And, it's not bald. There's hair there.

But, not enough. And, I think it. It's more obvious.

Well, maybe to me anyway. But, it's more obvious. Because, I have such thick curly hair.

It's thick. But, as it gets older. As it gets longer.

It gets curly. Now, obviously when it's short it's not curly. But, it is quite thick.

But, there's that little. Little. It's like a premature.

That's basically me. In the locker rooms. At school.

When I was 14, 15. That was me. The little bald patch.

Compared to all the thick curly hair. But, everyone else was like adults. And, I was still a kid.

I just was so late in developing. I'm still waiting. I've only got three pubes.

Still waiting. But, that bald patch. Isn't going bald a sign of virility? Or, is it senility? I don't know.

Steroid misuse. That could be a sign. I don't know.

I don't. I want to stop talking about this. Because, it's upsetting me.

I don't want to go bald. Which is weird. Because, I spent half my adult life bald.

Literally. Well, not half of it. Since I was 32.

I started shaving my head. And, bald. Before that.

When I was a kid. When I was a kid. In the Sea Cadets.

They used to shave my head. But, it was a crew cut. So, it wasn't like bald to the bone.

But, I've done that plenty of times. Like proper shaved it. All the way to the bone.

And, it feels so nice. It does feel nice to do it. It's fun to do it.

It's fun. Especially, if you shave. If you're going to shave your hair.

Wait until your hair is long. If you can. Not long.

I'm not. It's up to you. But, what I mean is.

Shaving it when it's. I used to shave it maybe. Every month.

Or, every couple of weeks. Or, whatever. Or, every week even.

Sometimes, I'd shave it every week. But, if I did it every month. And, it was nothing interesting.

There was a degree of growth. But, if I waited six months. There's something quite enjoyable.

About shaving. Like a big clump of hair off. It's a bit.

I guess, it's the farmer in me. That's my mum's me. No.

It's. I'm pretty sure. Farmer was.

It was my granddad. One of my granddad's. It was called farmer.

But, you know. I've never been a farmer. But, I like the idea of being a farmer.

But, without killing the animals. You know. A farmer that just.

Does it for fun. You know. Not interested in necessarily milking any cows.

Or, anything like that. But, just keeping the animals. And, giving them somewhere to live.

And, just allowing them to do what they want. And, making sure that they're well. And, fit.

And, happy. And, safe. That, to me.

Would be kind of like the kind of farming. That I'd be quite interested in doing. You know.

Live on a farm somewhere. Buy a bit of land. What with? But, you know.

Just. Forgetting. Forgetting the financial restrictions.

But, just. You know. As a fantasy.

I quite like the idea. Of. Living on a farm.

But, maybe not with a rooster. I think I could do without that cock. Waking me up in the morning.

You know. Cock-a-doodle-doo. Cock-a-doodle-doo.

Oh, no. Shut up. Cock-a-doodle-doo.

Cock-a-doodle-doo. Shut up. I think it would get.

It would get boring. Very quick. Getting woken up at five in the morning in the summer.

Or, four thirty. Because, it gets light very early in the summer. Cock-a-doodle-doo.

Cock-a-doodle-doo. Stop it. Okay.

I wouldn't kill most of the animals. That one I probably would shoot. It would just get on my nerves eventually.

Stop it. The moo-moo cows. I think they'll be.

Cute. Chickens. Again, I don't.

I wouldn't want to do anything. That would cause discomfort to the animals. So, if chickens just give.

Give eggs and stuff. I'd eat the eggs. But, you know.

I wouldn't want to do anything to keep a cow. Pregnant all the time. Or anything like that.

Just so they'd give. So they'd have milk. I'd just.

Leave them alone. I don't know really how it all works. Because.

I haven't needed to know. I don't know how to build a bridge. I don't know how to.

I don't know how to do surgery. There's lots of different things. I don't know how to do.

There seems to be an expectation. That we should all know everything now. And.

No. We don't have to know everything. So much.

Why don't you know it? Why aren't we interested in everything? Because I'm human. Human beings are not interested in everything. You should be interested in politics.

No. Why? I kind of. A little bit am.

Why should. Everybody be interested in politics? It's not an interesting subject. To a lot of people.

But. Roman history. May be something that.

Absolutely fascinates you. And you want to devote your life. To study in it.

Or to study in Greek mythology. Or. Stamps.

Or the history of. Planes. You know.

Whatever it is. Whatever catches you. Catches your imagination.

Catches your excitement. Do that. As long as it don't hurt no one else.

Fine. If you find something that just. Gets you going.

Gets you excited. And you feel amazing when you do it. Then you've hit the jackpot.

Whether it's helping people. Whether it's heart surgery. Or.

Becoming. A freedom fighter. Or whatever.

Or if it's just. Painting. Miniature.

Pictures of Wombles. You know. On little.

Cards. Whatever it is. I think it's just like.

Go for it. Of course. You might not be able to do that as a job.

You might not be able to do it. All the time. But you can do it in your spare time.

You can do it on your days off. It gives you something to look forward to. If you are able to turn it into.

A job. So that you can do it. All the time.

Well maybe not all the time. But do it as much as you want to do it. Then brilliant.

But not everyone can do that. You know. I mean even something like.

Stamp collecting. Or. Painting.

Being an artist. It's not something that. A huge amount of people.

Get a chance to. Do full time. Not because of.

Talent. Just because. It's.

It's not an easy. Easy job to. To make money from.

Some people do. I mean what's that. Banksy.

Draws pictures and paints and stuff. In public places. How it's worth anything.

I don't know. Because it's in a public place. If you draw something.

If you draw something. On the side of my building. Does that mean the building.

Is now worth millions of pounds. I guess the building. Is worth millions of pounds.

Probably anyway. This building. Probably the six flats.

Probably is worth a million. But. I'm just saying generally.

Because he's such a. A famous. Artist. So I wonder.

Would the building now be. But it's on the bricks. If he's painted on the bricks.

They can't remove the bricks. From the building. I wonder how that works.

Because he must. You know. Some people obviously.

Because the idea is that no one knows who he is. I reckon loads of people know who he is. I don't know who he is.

Shall I find out. Who is. Banksy.

Who. Is. Banksy.

Who is Banksy. His real name. Straight away.

Robin Gunningham. Banksy's real name. Is thought to be.

Robin Gunningham. As first reported. By the mail on Sunday.

In 2008. If Banksy really is. Robin Gunningham.

He was born on the 20th of July. 73 near Bristol. And is now believed to be.

Living in London. There has even been. A university study.

To identify the elusive Banksy. Hmmm. I'd have thought.

I'd have thought. If he's got money. According to this.

He's worth 50 million. Dollars. 36.6 million pounds.

Hmmm. Someone knows his name. Because he must have a bank account.

Hmmm. Maybe I'll do that. Does Banksy get paid.

For his work. Hmmm. It's weird isn't it.

Because he does do stuff. He does do art exhibitions. And such like.

But err. I don't know. I remember.

No I don't remember anything. I've never seen any of his stuff. Like in real life.

Seen pictures. And. I'm sure they're.

Really good. But art is kind of wasted on me. I saw.

Here's something funny. It's not the first bit isn't funny. But there was this picture of.

I think it was drawn in. Or it was posted. I don't know.

I think it's quite a famous picture. But it's basically a table. With these men around it.

And. I think slaves. Holding the table up.

Something like that anyway. But it's a very. Controversial.

Picture. Painting whatever. And.

A couple of. A few years ago. I think.

What's his name. Labour. The Labour.

Labour Party leader. At the time. Reposted it.

On his Twitter. And then suddenly. You're being anti-semitic.

Because it's an anti-semitic picture. Blah blah blah blah. Anyway.

A couple of weeks ago. Someone on my friends list on Facebook. Posted it.

That picture saying. Oh this is so. This is so deep with meaning.

And I'm thinking. If only you knew. What you've just.

Reposted there. And how much trouble. That's caused people in this country.

Who have. Even dared to like the picture. And she wasn't.

Looking at it. She was looking at it. Through fresh eyes.

And she wasn't seeing. Because the picture. For people.

That say it's anti-semitic. Say that it portrays Jewish men. Bankers.

Money lenders. Being in charge of the wealth. And stuff like that.

I didn't see that when I looked at it. I've got a big nose. I'm not a Jew.

I'm a pretty Roman. I reckon I'm probably Roman. I'm from the.

I like to think. That I'm from kind of Caesar. When he visited here.

You know. My genes go back to Caesar. But it probably doesn't.

You know. I don't know. But who knows.

I might be a bit Jewish. I might be a bit anti-semitic. A bit of everything.

I'm a Buddhist. I'm not Jewish anyway. How would that work? I'm Jewish but I'm not Jewish.

You can't be Jewish and not be Jewish. You can. You can be Jewish.

And become a Buddhist. Or a Christian. Or a Sikh.

But I feel okay. No. Stop it.

That's wrong. Someone did that. I mentioned that.

Purposely. Like said. I'm a Sikh.

And it was a phone in. And they were talking about illness. And he said I live in.

North London. I'm a Sikh. And the presenter said I'm sorry to hear that.

I hope you feel better soon. And he said. Are you having a laugh? You're making fun of my religion.

But he wasn't. He genuinely thought he said he was Sikh. Because that's what it sounded like.

On the phone. It's very funny. To listen to.

Because it was unintentional. He wasn't. Mocking him.

But it's okay to mock people. We've lost that. I think in this country.

We're starting to lose our sense of humor. A little bit. Because there was a time.

It had to be reined in a little bit. Because there was a time when. Nothing was.

I think the only things you weren't allowed to joke about. Probably was the royal family. There was a time when you wouldn't do that.

Because you'd get done for treason. And be crucified. Or whatever.

But as time has gone by. We went through the 70s. And they made fun of every culture.

And every single thing. But it was pretty. Harsh.

It was very. I could see how. Offensive.

It probably was to certain groups. And. The thing is.

I watched some of that stuff back. You know on YouTube. Some of those old.

Stand up shows. Where. It's not even funny.

Some of the jokes. They sound funny. But.

Some of it was just. It's just horrible actually. It's not even done in a funny way.

It was just pure. Horrible. Some of it.

But. A lot of the jokes. That were told.

Weren't funny because of what they were. Picking on. They were just funny jokes.

So they say. How many. How many Jewish people.

Can you fit. In a mini. Or something like that.

I don't know what the punchline is I'm just saying. But it made no difference if you said Irish people. Jews.

If you said. People with ginger hair. If you just said people with.

Six toes. It wouldn't make no difference. How many penguins.

You know the punchline. Whatever it is. Is a funny punchline.

It's got really nothing to do with. Who you've got in the car. Does that make sense.

I don't know. You've said the word Jew too many times. I think you're an anti-semitic.

No not really. I'm not anti anything really. I'm anti.

What am I anti. You've got to care about something to be anti it. I don't care about that stuff.

People's. Belief system and stuff. Doesn't really.

Don't interest me that much. I'm a little bit interested in some of it. I studied it at school.

I'm interested. On a. On a level of. You know.

There's lots of really useful stuff out there. Useful. Information.

That you can get from books. Of all kinds. You know.

Really. Meaningful sentence. That can actually.

Transform. Your direction of your life. If you let it.

You know. Sometimes it's hearing one thing. You think wow.

Oh. Perhaps I should stop eating lard. Sandwiches.

And you. Perhaps become healthier. Because of it.

As an example. Yum. Yum.

Yum. Yum. It is interesting though.

Is. I won't go into. Individual details.

But there's so many. Cliches and. Where people.

Live up to the cliches. That. You can see why the cliches are there.

Yet. You're not allowed to. Not allowed to.

Mention that stuff anymore. Not allowed to mention. Um.

Yeah. Just things that. It.

I don't know. I think. I think self depreciation.

As. Has. Reduced.

I think over the last few years. People making fun of themselves. Fun of their own.

Idiosyncrasies. You know. I missed that a little bit.

I quite like that. I quite like self depreciation. As long as it's not horrible.

Not self depreciation. As someone calling themselves stupid. Or thick.

Or an idiot. But making fun of. Maybe.

I don't know. If I was German for example. I might make fun of.

My need to. Invade Poland. No.

My need to. Put a. A towel. On the deck chair.

In a swimming pool. In a hotel. You know first thing in the morning.

But that's. Whether it still happens. But that did used to happen.

It was a cliche. And it was. It was well and truly tested.

It wasn't even. It was like what happened. In loads of hotels.

When people went abroad. But then the same thing. English people.

Are. Known to be. Perhaps a bit loud.

When they go abroad. But then that's what the English people say. And other Europe say.

About American people. That they're loud. When they visit here.

But then we're loud when we visit. I think everyone's loud. I think that's the thing.

It's not that Americans or Germans. Or Spanish or English are loud. When they're abroad.

I think it's everyone. I think everyone is a little bit louder. Because if you're.

Surrounded by people talking a different language. You have to speak up a little bit. Don't you.

In order for the other person to hear. You. Because it can be quite distracting.

Being. If you're in a restaurant. And you've got 150 people.

In there. And there's just you. And one other person.

Speaking your language. Whatever it is. And everyone else is speaking other language.

We go to London. You can experience that. But you know if you go to.

Let's say if you're in Germany. And everyone's speaking Deutsch. Land.

Is it Deutsch. Or German. Whatever.

I'm not sure what the correct term. What is German language. I like to learn these things.

What do Germans call. German language. German Deutsch.

Ah. German Deutsch. Official language of both Germany.

And Austria. And one of the official languages of Switzerland. Land.

German belongs to the West German group. Of the Indo-European language family. Along with English.

Frisian and Dutch. Netherlandic Flemish. Is German called Deutsch.

The word Deutsch. It's not Dutch. It's Deutsch isn't it.

Deutsch is a German word. That derives from the Indo-European root word. Pyro.

Is pronounced as. Voiceless. I don't know what that means.

This word was used to refer to. Vernaculars other than Latin. Which was the.

Lingua Franca of Europe. Oh shut up. I've had enough of that.

What is a German language called. That was loud wasn't it. Why is a German language called Deutsch.

The word Deutsch. Which comes from late medieval German. Anyway.

So they call themselves. Deutsch. Deutschland is Germany.

And. I think that's cool. Why can't we call it Deutschland.

They called us England. They don't say. They don't use a different term.

So why can't we use. The correct term. But then we've got to say Mexico.

For Mexico. Because that's how they pronounce their. Country.

We'll have to go and do that for every country. But why not. Why not.

Call places by. How they call it themselves. That's not a bad idea is it.

Mind you if we're going to start. Correcting mispronunciations. Then.

That's going to be. A never ending job isn't it. I mean even in this.

Tiny little island that I live. There's. Instead of.

Okay let's not say mispronunciation. But different ways of pronouncing. The same word.

Varies from where you live. Depending on where you live. And.

I just wonder. What kind of teachers. There are.

Around the country. Because I don't remember. What kind of accents the teachers have.

Had. When I was at school rather. But.

Everybody should have. The same accent really. If all the teachers had the same accents.

And if your teachers does have a really strong accent. Then they're not teaching English properly are they. Because they're.

Talking. Without speaking. Correct English.

And if you're an English teacher at school. All the teachers should speak correct English. In this country I mean.

Not in other countries. Obviously if you. If you're in France.

They should speak correct France. If you're in. Italia.

Italia they call it Italia don't they. Not Italy. Italia.

Italia. Italia. If you're.

I'm really into Colombia at the moment. I want to get myself a Colombian girlfriend. Ideally connected with a cartel.

Oh. Everything. All in one.

I love the Colombian. I'm in love with Colombian women. Today.

Next week it will be different. But today I'm in love with Colombian women. I want a Colombian girlfriend.

I'll be watching Narcos or Narco. I don't know how you pronounce it. Don't care.

I pronounce it. However I want. Because I'm right.

Always right. That's really lucky. If you don't have contact with other human beings.

You can always be right. That's the benefit. It really is the benefit.

That's what I love. I love being right. Even when I'm wrong.

I'm right. Even when I'm right. I'm right.

I've got an email. What does it say? What does it say? I had an email. I have no idea.

Who this person is. This is Moon Pig. It's Letty's birthday.

Who the hell is Letty? I don't know anyone called Letty. I don't know anyone called Letty. Do you? Who the hell is Letty? Why have I got a birthday on my Moon Pig? Crazy.

I don't understand. Singing. Singing.

Singing. Singing. Singing.

Singing. Singing. I've got a little bit of a cough.

I don't know if I want to travel the world. I don't know if I fancy sitting on a plane. That's it.

I love the idea of travelling to Thailand on a boat. I don't think it's possible. I think you can probably get to Thailand from Australia via a boat.

I'm sure there must be. but can I get to Thailand by sea let's have a look UK Thailand Thailand a little box came up on Google it says no results for that place try entering it below to get suggestions United Kingdom Thailand route not found so I'm guessing can I get to Thailand by boat from the UK you can I'm feeling all warm and sweaty right now this is great it says here by using ferries. co. uk you'll be able to find ferries to Thailand with all leading ferry companies ferries. co.

uk represents 429 ferries to Thailand with 12 ferry companies sailing from 47 ports with a choice of up to 46 ferry destinations in Thailand really I'm thinking they're lying I'm not sure if they're telling the truth because I want to go from here I don't want no planes just sea I don't want to go from island to island I don't want any big long sea deep sea long sea journey I want to I want to be able to see land most of the time if possible can you drive from England to Thailand you silly person

how can you drive what it says here the total driving time is 169 hours and 30 minutes you can't drive how can you drive from England to Thailand I mean if you if you go through the Channel Tunnel to France Francaise see I'm doing it now Francaise Francaise and then you go through Belgium and and you go all the way through Europe and then you end up I mean Eastern Europe still Europe isn't it isn't it it's almost like it's a different place that's Europe it's just it's further away and then you got Turkey that's

part of Europe but it's also the Middle East at the same time I'm confused and you got Spain part of Europe and it's like near Egypt I don't know if it's true I'm getting my countries mixed up it all doesn't make sense can I drive from France to Thailand yes you can't you can't how can you how can you anyway I'm gonna check out ferries.

co.

uk come on come with me on this little journey of pointlessness come on baby let's find some ferries to take me to Thailand a ferry company a Dang Sea tour frequency for daily duration one hour and 30 minutes I'm probably not gonna it's like wow it's it's what 14 hours or 13 hours on a on a plane to do it in one and a half hours on a ferry that's pretty good yeah let's have a look enter return trip enter a port country or ferry Thailand Thailand there we go let's have a look come on

jump to the metropole pier okay return trip but I want to go from UK UK UK UK to Thailand will anything come up for this call people on my Nani Beach Phuket no why is it gonna be so complicated why can't it just make things easy easy ferry routes okay ferry routes Dover to Calais enter a port country or ferry Thailand I'm just gonna do one way one way come on Thailand it's got ferry destinations but just destinations as in going to and this thing won't go down oh yeah I forgot I've got a touchscreen

on this laptop I can use that Bangkok I need to go to Bangkok I don't know bangkok I'm not sure supposed to be quite good and if it's any no that's it right now now there so Thailand find ferries to Thailand okay I'm gonna find ferries to Thailand bond bonds a high-speed ferries eight hours so let's have a look at one that's a long six hours nope I want one it's probably 10 days or something 10 days come on nope it really is ridiculous there's nothing on air nothing on air now okay so let's get

a Thailand by sea UK stand by sea air and sea freight so I've got a website DFS worldwide.com commercial shipping oh that's not really what I'm looking for is it I'm not I'm not a container no 50 kilos 95 hundred 130 pound under 30 pounds 100 kilos so that's how much I weigh so maybe I'll get them to send me as package no countries and rates that imports exports see road nope nope nope no be dope dope dope dope shipping a time from a UK seven seas or this might be it this might be the

one shipping excess baggage at all I don't care about baggage what tell me about baggage for a controlled worldwide neck or Baba Baba Baba Baba okay shipping to Thailand shipping shipping if you're going on holiday Thailand moving there permanently or traveling for business give us a call 7 Seas Worldwide knows it's stuff when it comes to shipping to Thailand.

Well I wouldn't know your stuff I just want to know how much it costs man.

Nope shipping household good no that's no good for me no good for me at all I want to know how much it costs for a domestic shipping domestic shipping oh there's no internet now now I've gone on that one no internet no shut up shut up your face telling me there's no website of course there's internet I pay for it has to happen has to be there I refuse refuse to accept no internet no more okay Thailand shipping to Thailand from the UK with Anglo Pacific so maybe this is an international shipping to Thailand you

know what they talk about shipping they're talking about moving stuff it's not about passengers cruises low-cost pallet and I'll sell myself in a let's say I lay on a pallet and get myself sent that way ferries to Thailand okay here we go baby here we go ferries to Thailand 498 ferry crossings yeah ferry crossings are not from here not from here god damn it but from places nearby they are what about here huh direct ferries .

co. uk that's the original website I was on wasn't it direct ferries shipping to Thailand okay ferry ferries ferries I realize I'm probably the only person in the whole world wants to actually get a boat cruise to Thailand but you know what I don't mind so ferry ports ferries . co. uk is exactly the same website as direct ferries . co.

uk same website exactly same website just different you that's cheeky a ferry a ferry.com come on then show me what you got show me that show me that those wobbly thighs come on show me ferries to Thailand book a cheap ferry to Thailand or I don't care about it being cheap I want the thing to float you know I want I want the staff to be paid so that they're not spitting in me dinner and me porridge I want everyone to be happy you know I don't want a cheap flight or cheap anything not that I want to spend lots of money I just if you get why do

people have cheap flights why do people pay like oh I got this really cheap flight I want to go to Spain it's only costing me 14 pound well expect the plane to crash then why would you expect it to get there you paid 14 pound for something that probably costs 50 grand before they even take off and there's maybe it's like if they're not making any money they're not going to be able to probably afford to maintain the planes and they probably got some work experience lad who's flying the plane so you know you should

feel grateful if it lands safely if you're not willing to pay okay what we're doing so angry Jason yeah I know you never used to be like that did you I did I used to be much nicer much calmer okay what should we do UK to Thailand let's see if anything comes up nothing Dover to Calais Dover to Calais though is that all you've got to offer me a ferry best match I don't care about price because I'm not buying a ticket so I'm interested interested how to book your Thailand ferry booking a ferry to

or from Thailand couldn't be easier with a ferry you can either use the booking form at the top left of the page use it you can either use it doesn't give you two options booking a ferry to or from Thailand couldn't be easier with a ferry this is the website aferi.com you can either use to say you can either use the booking form at the top left of the page and that's it there's nothing else this is a professional company yeah okay so outward route Thailand okay return route so one way if I go one

way outward route you know what I think what it is is there are no ferries to Thailand on this website what they've done is they've basically done this myself in the past they've made thousands and thousands of pages each with the words ferries to and just a different country and

probably gone even further than that gone to every region of the country every town every village of every country just to get thousands and thousands and thousands of pages all indexed on Google so that when you search for ferries and Thailand you come up with this page and as a page about Thailand but it's not giving any information about how to actually book all it's saying is this different return return return it's literally coming up with just a few different varieties versions where you can go Dover to Calais Dover to Dunkirk Calais to Dover Dunkirk

to Dover New Haven to Dieppe which is in Normandy apparently Hollyhead in Wales to Dublin Harwich to Hook of Holland Newcastle to Amsterdam Ile de Meugen Folkestone to Calais Calais Dieppe to New Haven Cairnryan to Belfast Cairnryan to Laan Portsmouth to Fishbourne Portsmouth to Cayenne but what about Dover to Thailand it ain't available mate ain't available why is it even doing it Thailand nothing comes up absolute pointless it's a lie it's a lying website you can use AFA ferries to book ferries to Thailand from Bali in Indonesia okay fair enough Bali okay cruise what about

all top 10 ferry services so let's check this one see if this is real or not or just another waste of my time Phuket to Koh Phi Phi by Phi Phi Cruises you got ferry ticket and transfer between Phuket and Phi Phi Island Phi Phi I want to go to something called Phi Phi this sounds cute doesn't it Phuket to Koh Phi Phi by Express Boat Ao Nang to Koh Lanta by Ao Nang Princess Ferry okay these are just like crossings between islands so that's not really of any use to anybody well not to me

anyway of course it is to many other people but just not to me at this point ferry services so what I need to look at is a cruise UK to Thailand cruise cruise virgin voyages I refuse to go on anything with such a name Thailand cruises holiday that'd be quite ironic wouldn't it a virgin cruise to Thailand Thailand cruises and holidays Royal Caribbean okay here we go here we go here we go here we go here we go here we go four-night ocean getaway cruise starting from two hundred and twelve pound per person Singapore and

three night Penang cruise Penang four-night Penang cruise and bucket cruise Phuket cruise if you don't that looks interesting now four nights obviously you ain't getting over there by you're getting the cruises from somewhere else ain't gonna be well it's not giving me any prices giving the prices but okay they want me to sign up to an email address so that I can get more information give me the information now give me the information now I'm not jumping through your hoops give me the prices give me the dates and I'll decide for myself that's what annoys

me about sometimes the some internet things you know you sign up most things are really good these days on the online they're so easy but some places they'll just make it hard it's so easy to sign up for something but if you want to cancel you got a phone this number or you get to send an email or you got like no put a cancel link cancel subscription that's the way to do it book now okay I want to click book now that will take me to a page where I can probably find out a

bit more information leaving from Singapore no that's no good no find a cruise search cruises sailing from any department no sailing from Europe what what European countries are there not England oh no Southampton Southampton sailing to transatlantic would that be right leaving any date okay so let's have a look see what we've got and Halifax Nova Scotia Boston Cape Liberty New Jersey cruising you know what 12 nights you know I ain't got the money for this but it's not bad deal here leaving from Southampton in England on board Anthem of the Seas cruising from what

I can see 12 nights cruise so I guess is it 12 nights there and 12 I don't know six six days to get to America and six days back I'm not sure but 833 pound I'm coughing again okay let's have a look leaving Southampton England on board Anthem of the Seas visiting Southampton England cruising to Ponta Delgada Azores wherever that is cruising and then Halifax Nova Scotia then cruising again to Boston Massachusetts cruising again to Cape Liberty New Jersey so balcony I get a balcony that's all right 833 pound what about coming back though are

you allowed to come back I should tell you more information shouldn't it so select the date Monday the 17th of oops something went wrong oh it's brought me back to something completely different blimey wow this is quite cheap 179 pound for seven nights to the Caribbean Bridgetown Barb I'll leave him from Bridgetown to Barbados that's not any good is it I don't live in Barbados you know I don't 833 view one date select date nope continue go on it's taking me to completely different page it's not giving me the information that I really would like

a bit disappointed if I'm honest a little bit disappointed oh by the way if anyone's interested if you're still awake if you're still listening bloody bloody blah I love you all thank you for listening I'm not going I'm just saying thanks for listening stay in forever Wow this is departure October 2022 that's ages away would you plan that far ahead for a holiday would you would you explore this itinerary okay let me check the itinerary itinerary okay yeah I've got the touchscreen leaving Southampton at 5 p.

m. cruising Wow cruising from day to day one leaves at 5 p. m. day two to day four cruising day five you arrive at Ponta Delgada Azores I don't know where that is is that like Mexico or something was that Mexico cruising day six to eight Halifax Nova Scotia you arrive on the ninth day there from 9 a. m. till 5 p. m. I was always you there from 8 a. m. till 5 p. m. to get a whole day I guess you'd need it after that many days at sea need a nice put your feet back on solid ground I guess then you day 10 cruising by sea a lot arriving at Boston Massachusetts from 8 a.

m. to 5 p. m. on day 11 12 cruising again one day at sea and then on the 13th New York New York New York New York it's just called New York isn't it it's not called new I know it's the song New York New York those little town blues do do do do do do do do do do do New York New York it's New York isn't it Cape Liberty NJ in capital in brackets arrives at 6 a. m.

now what about coming back hey what about coming back some guess you could find a way back you could find a way back yes guess the same kind of routine so you could maybe stay in New York for I don't know how long would how long could you stay in New York really if you didn't have you know anyone you know if you're from another country I'm talking about not if you're from America but if you're from another country I don't even know how it works visas and whatever but you can visit could you stay

for a weekend or for a week or what I don't know I don't know the answer that be be interesting I do think it'd be interesting to find out and then travel back I quite like to go to a comedy club in New York yeah that'd be quite cool I don't know hmm what do you think last-minute cruises come on let's have a look this is Royal Caribbean calm oh okay two-night perfect getaway cruise leaving from Orlando this is leaving from America it's not that useful to me Europe okay hmm we circled the globe nothing

okay 12 nights we circled the globe couldn't find any sailings 9 to 11 nights nope 6 to 8 nights oh they have got some 7 nights leaving from Copenhagen that's like blimey there's a place here it looks edible Scandinavia and Russian cruise so you're Copenhagen Denmark on board Voyager of the Seas it looks edible it doesn't look real it must it's I think it's a picture but it's so colorful the buildings there's red buildings white buildings yellow buildings pink buildings all kinds of colored buildings and it looks like a cake does it looks like a

top of a cake so leaving from Copenhagen Denmark visiting Copenhagen cruising and then Stockholm Sweden and as you can't stay there too long otherwise you'll end up with a Stockholm syndrome and then you got telling Estonia St.

Petersburg Russia Helsinki Finland cruising and then Copenhagen Denmark I'm wondering does that mean that they get a like a coach trip that takes you all through those places yeah yeah hey because I'm pretty sure Sweden isn't in Russia but it's gone from cruising to Stockholm and then telling Estonia St.

Petersburg Russia Helsinki Finland and then cruising back to him yeah doesn't work for me has to be from the UK of England what's the one for old people cruises and saga let me just check saga saga saggy saga cruises I'm now old enough for that which is good I'm now an oldie an oldie book now introducing four new ocean cruises sail away on spirit adventure in the new year now you do it you can tell me what to do I'm actually a member of the website I am I can't remember what my password is though

hmm they ain't cheap my dad told me that he said ain't cheap I thought saga would be cheaper well not cheaper because it's for okay I shouldn't use the word old people but I just it's not aimed at people with no money 35 not okay 35 nights a hell of a long time that I over a grand spirited adventure Caribbean spring if I was rich I would be going on cruises I would I'd be going on a lot of cruises a lot of cruises I would travel the world on cruises cruises cruises cruises all the

time but hmm I can't afford saga holidays too expensive way too expensive it's no way to it's just on a level way more than the other places I'm not saying it's not worth the money but blimey you could buy a new car for some of these you go away for a two-week holiday on a cruise and buy a new car for that price you know it's costing us six grand seven can you get a new car for seven thousand pound I don't know 14 nights springtime in the British Isles this stays in the UK for

14 for grand it stays in England it stays it doesn't leave the country just you know it goes around for 14 nights what the how do they make it out of the how how do they make it last 14 nights I've got I've got a look into this I really do Wow itinerary let's look at the itinerary come on all together the itinerary why is it not for itinerary Dover they great Yarmouth at sea New Haven for Edinburgh at sea ullapool Scotland Portree Island of Sky cruise the st.

Kilda green cock a green ock Scotland Belfast Northern Ireland Hollyhead Wales Dunlop hair the Dublin Island at sea Portland England Dover oh so it does go to Ireland it stops at Ireland and also stops well two passes it stops in Don lock hair and also Belfast said to also Scotland and Wales it's going all the way around great Yarmouth where's it starting off from can you remember itinerary Dover okay the thing is I live closer to great Yarmouth than I do Dover so it might be just easy for me just to for me to pick

me up at Yarmouth blimey four grand Wow I've got three new subscribers just in a time I've been talking to you thank you whoever subscribed because it can't be anyone that's listening to this right now but maybe someone that listened to yesterday's recording or or earlier today's recording rather or yesterday I don't know yeah yesterday's but I also mentioned it in my deep sleep whisper recording I did earlier today so maybe people will yeah Wow we excited now to make my right nipple itch oh lovely right when I go thank you for listening again you

make my life what it is you give me everything thank you for listening I do appreciate it I do it sounds like I don't but I do very lucky to have such a wonderful audience as yourself you are pretty amazing you really are so thank you give yourself a give you all give yourself a round of applause so I shall speak to you again tomorrow I'm back to my normal routine of making these every day and also doing the whisper recordings new ones the sleep hypnosis relaxer sleep hypnosis daily and the boring objects one and

we doing one of those tomorrow and what else the bedtime story time can be doing those so now that I've kind of got through the illness that I went through which did cause me to I still got a bit of a residue cough but nothing to what it was I'm now back on track kind of so there you go thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy do something nice for yourself you don't have to cost you any money just do something nice treat yourself and be gentle

please sounds a weird thing to say maybe but you know I mean I'm coming from a nice place be gentle to yourself or with yourself can change your life man I shall see you later thank you very much lots of love bye bye