#775 Let me bore you to sleep - I IS BACK - Jason Newland (13th DECEMBER 2021)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is... Let me bore you to sleep. Hi, hello, how are you doing? Well... It's Monday the 13th of December 2021. I haven't made a recording for a little while, a few days.

You know, a let me bore you to sleep recording that is. I'm not even sure. What was the last one? Let me have a look.

Let me have a little looky, looky-wooky. Sniff, sniff, that's nice. How beautiful.

The last one. Oh yeah, only listen when you can safely close your eyes, etc, etc, etc. It's not that long ago.

I think it was... No, 3rd of December, surely not. No, was it that long ago? 3rd of December, that sounds like a long time ago. Wow, 3rd of December, 7-7-4, 7-7-4, blimey.

I didn't think it'd been that long. Yeah, it's quite a while, isn't it? Um, 12 today, so what's that? 3rd, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 days. Now, those that listen, those that have been listening sort of regularly, know that it's very rare for me to go that long without making a new recording of some kind.

That's a long time, 10 days, but let me tell you why. Let me tell you all about it. Come on, come along for the journey.

Come on, boys and girls. It's going to be fun. It's a great story.

I had a few messages. I want to say hi to Molly. I hope you're feeling a bit better.

Um, say hello to... Right, okay. I want to say hello to Gemma. Gemma sent me a message on Facebook.

Hope you're well. This came up on Spotify just now and I thought I'd share it with you. All the best.

It's basically, I opened it up and it says, your top podcast was Let Me Bore You To Sleep. You listened to 213 episodes for a total of 24,194 minutes. Wow.

Thank you for listening, Gemma. I better write that down for listening. But I'm guessing you're going to hear this anyway.

Um, I had some other messages, but I can't find them. I'll tell you why. It's a little bit annoying because the reason for it is that sometimes when people send me messages, I don't, um, it skips between the different, the different, um, I know what I'm trying to say.

It skips between the different Facebook pages, which means I then struggled to find the original messages I had. So let's see. No, it's not working there.

So if I go to my groups, nope. Pages. Pages.

Where's my pages? Come on. So I'll go to the homepage. It should give you an opportunity to go to my different pages, but it's not.

See, Jason, there's some weird noises going on in this place. Sounds like there's a couple of, do you remember the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz? Sounds like it's a couple of miniature one of those, like part fighting each other or wrestling each other. Like, but really creakily and not proper properly oiled up, which is a weird visual.

No, it's not allowing me to go to that. Normally, when I'm on the page, it just allows me to go to my different Facebook pages, but it's not for some reason. I don't know why.

Oh, yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. There you go.

There you go. Come on. Take me there.

Inbox. Let's have a look. What inbox do I have? Lucinda? Is it Lucinda? No, that's not the right one.

Oh, man. I don't know. I'm going to give up on that.

Give up, give up, give up. Anyway, what's been happening is this. First of all, if you're listening and you have sent me some messages, thank you for the messages.

I'm kind of replying to all of the messages. Thank you for the messages. Basically, the main content of the messages is where am I? Am I okay? And why haven't I made recording? And when I'm going to when am I going to make another one? And I replied that I'll be making a new one on Monday to one person.

And so I've had a few messages come through, but I can't find some of them for a reason I'm not sure of. But there you go. That's weird.

Unless it was on. It was maybe it was on somewhere else, maybe. No, I can't find it.

Let's have a look. There's another one. Seymour, Seymour.

Right, I'll try that one. Inbox. Ah, this might be the one.

This might be the one. Nope, it's not. Britney.

Britney Moore. Okay. This is from November.

So no, it's an old old message. Anyway, so what basically what happened? What happened? And I did, I think I mentioned it at the time, or maybe I didn't. Maybe I didn't mention it.

Yeah, I did. It was the beginning of December. I got a message from from Spreaker.

I'll read it to you actually, if I can find it. I'll get on with it. Oh, yeah, I am.

Stop having to go at me. Do me best. There we go.

Hi, Jason. We're writing to let you know that we're updating our terms of use and wanted to share the details with you. Why are we updating the terms of use? First things first, the reason we've decided to make this change is to grant the Spreaker podcasts as they trusted an established place where to create, upload and earn money from their podcasts.

This change will make hosted content on Spreaker more appealing for the podcasting and advertising industry, while consequently given even more blah, blah, blah. What's the update? Here we go. It consists of a new topic added to the registration and prohibited prohibited use of Spreaker.

Now, I find it interesting because they really seem to show specific things. It's almost like they made the email and change it around just for me. I'm sure they didn't.

But the way it's worded is quite interesting. We suggest reading whole sections, but below you can read the specific point added. Users may not use Spreaker with music only content, such as music tracks or DJ mixes, Spreaker is not intended to be a music hosting service.

What does this mean for your content? It depends what kind of content you upload. Spreaker mission is to give podcasters the support and tools necessary to create podcasts, blah, blah, blah. Podcasts are based on a spoken format, are not meant to be music only.

This will not impact your work if you create content exclusively in a spoken format. Use or use music as a way to enrich your spoken form podcast. So here's a little bit where you might think, okay, well, you have music, you're doing that.

Bear in mind, I had 10 hours of recording, and they all had me talking on them. But this way, look a little bit further down. The change will be impacted of your work.

The change will be impacted of your work. Instead, if you upload an episode that is a music track, which I don't, but I always used to have a lot of music, but then upload episodes that consists of only music or the majority songs. Now that was the case with pretty much all of the music tracks, all of them, all of the podcasts I had with music on them.

Give or take a few recordings that were maybe an hour and a half long. And most of them were a higher percentage music than spoken word. Even the two hour recordings were the five hour recordings obviously were the 10 hours or blimineck were really were, you know, sometimes it'd be me talking for 20 minutes and then nine hours and 40 minutes of music.

Now, not allowed anymore. So I looked at the terms and conditions and stuff. When will this be enforced, reinforced for new users of changes already in place for you and other users who had signed up previously, is now time to start reviewing your account.

To be compliant, you have to ensure your previous content is in line with this new rule and avoid uploading any content that goes against it. So that's what I did. I deleted all of the recordings that had music where the music was a higher percentage than the spoken word, which was all of them.

All of them, basically every single music, every recording had music on I deleted. What I've done is I've gone through all of my recordings, apart from the Let Me Boy To Sleep ones. And I have made versions with background music, but the length of the recording, maybe a few minutes afterwards for the music because it sort of winds down.

But you know, there's a 25 minute recording of me talking, let's say it's a deep sleep whisper hypnosis, then the recording might last for 33 minutes, or it might last for 27 minutes, you know, this is but there's no longer any long music ones like before. So I'm doing two versions of the recordings, one, just me talking and one with background music for the duration of me talking. Does that work? Does that make sense? So I'm abiding by their rules and conditions.

Now, I mean, I've read that to you. I mean, hopefully you agree with me unless I've missed something. It's taken me a long time to put this into practice, to make the new recordings, editing, and then to upload them.

It's taken me, I guess, you know, 10 days, I literally finished the last one, a couple of about an hour and a half ago, maybe an hour ago. And it's done. So, so pleased.

It was incredibly boring. Because it was just the same thing over and over again. I had to listen to some of the recording to make sure that it was okay.

And it just took forever and ever and ever and ever. And now that's it. All the recordings I do now will be new recordings.

I won't be uploading any old recordings at all. But will be new recordings. And there'll be two versions.

One, as I said, me just, of my silky birth. And one version, another version with the music, background music, the same length of the recording, pretty much. Maybe five minutes longer, but you know, not much difference.

And that's it. And, you know, I didn't, I kinda would like to do the same with Let Me Boyd Asleep, but it's just too much of a big job. Although I think this is number 775.

Today, this this recording, to edit and produce 773 previous recordings with background music is, it's just not going to happen. It's it I could do it. But I wouldn't get anything else done for, oh man, imagine how long that would take.

That's another, that's another solid week. That's another solid week's work to get that done. Especially as they're longer, so it takes longer, takes longer to process, longer to upload.

So therefore, I'm probably not going to bother. But we want ones with music, you bastard. Yeah, OK, fair enough.

I've just got to swear. I've thought about some solutions, but I'm not really going to say them out loud, because I don't want to, I don't want to commit myself to them. Because if I do, it then means I've got hundreds of hours of tedious work to do.

And I can't be bothered. I just, it's not I can't be bothered. I just don't, it's so unstimulating.

I can't even express to you how, you know, I'm fine with editing when I've made a new recording, you know, and making the various different versions of the track at the time. But once I've done that recording, I just want to move on and then do the next recording. And you know, the idea of spending, I mean, I'm probably spending well over 100 hours a week doing this.

I have been, you know, doing what I've been doing. It's, it's just, I feel like only like, just my brain just was shutting down with the tedium of it. So I'm glad it's done.

And I almost don't want to revisit it. But to have some ideas which could make things better. Could, oh that was a weird could.

Very, very wet. It's a very wet could. Yeah, I'll wait.

I'll wait and see. Wait and see. But I'm back.

10 days, obviously 10 days is a long time to wait for, to be bored by this boring voice. Quite a bit has happened actually in the world in the last 10 days. Blimey.

Apparently houses in Ukraine are really cheap to buy. For about $3,000, you can buy a house with loads of land. And also a couple of like outhouses.

One that your pigs used to live. And another one for honey, or beehives. Yeah, and it's a big, big old plot of land, but just for $3,000.

And I thought, oh, and then I saw the news and I thought, hmm, perhaps Ukraine isn't the best place to move to. In a sense for safety, you know, with the Russians on the border. Is it Ukraine? Is that where they are? I don't know.

I lose track. Or was it Spain? I'm getting muddled up between the two. I mean, they all speak French, don't they? You have been decided to be the baby.

Yeah. So tired. So tired.

I really am. Oh, it's just, I want to keep going on about it. But please, there were times when I was falling asleep at the keyboard.

I was so tired doing it. And I've got to finish this. And I just fall asleep while I was doing it.

Because just it drained me dry, it did. And now it's done. And I'm tired.

And it's time to go to bed soon. And you know, when I lay down, when I lay down, I can just enjoy knowing that it's done. It's done, done, done, done.

And I'm never gonna have to do it again. Never, never, never, never, never, never, never. Well, I say never, but hopefully never.

Hopefully. So good to have it all completed. And out the way.

I had an idea. Here's my idea again. I am not committing to this.

I'm not, you can't make me. I had an idea of maybe, baby, making a couple of long versions of recordings, five hours and 10 hours like before, not the two hour ones, but maybe just five and 10 hours. And stick them on the website for people to download.

If you want to download them, you will be able to download them. I don't know if that's something that's useful. And I think to download the size of the me usually about just under about 280 to 290 megabytes long, the 10 hour ones.

So it's up to you. It's all up to you. It's not up to you.

It's up to me. It's up to me, man. So I might, I might, maybe, unless, maybe what I could do, I wonder if it'll allow me to have a file where you can download all versions.

No, I don't know. Right now, though, I'm not going to do anything like that. I mean, right this minute.

I'm going to just, you know, do what I said. What's happened? What has happened in the last week? I had a gone now. What's happened in my life? Vertigo.

So what's it mean? Whoops, whoops, whoops. What date was this? Third of the 12th. Wow.

So 10 days, I was only supposed to take these. I'm not even taking the tablets for five days. One times three times a day for five days.

Vertigo. Yeah, I went to hospital, didn't I? And that was 10 days ago. Seems to be okay now.

I can't believe it's 10 days ago, though. I still kind of put my head down quite slowly when I'm getting to bed. Wow.

I really literally had just been doing this for 10 days. That's all I've been doing. Watching a bit of TV.

I've been watching, I'll tell you what I've watched. I've been watching quite a bit of Netflix. And I watched Squid Games, which I tried to watch to start with and didn't, just couldn't watch it.

Just couldn't get into it. I only watched about 10 minutes and I thought nah. Subtitles put me off.

I'll be honest, just like nah, I can't be bothered with subtitles. But then I started watching Narcos, or Narcos. Subtitles again.

And I tried to watch that a couple of times in the past, but nah. Subtitles. But for some reason I thought, I'm going to give this a go.

I'm going to try and sit through the first episode. And if I don't like it, then that's fine. Because it's three seasons.

It's supposed to be really good. It's not recent. It's quite, it's been around for a while.

And it's lots of people raving about it back then. Anyway, I got hooked. I did, I got hooked on it.

Loved it. It's really, really good. Really, really good show.

And as long as you can handle the subtitles, which is 95%. I mean, it's an American voiceover. And there is an American, there's some American speaking, but it's mainly Colombian.

So I watched all three seasons of that. And now I'm watching Mexican Narcos. Started watching that.

So I'm into season two of that now. And before I watched that one, I watched Squid Game. So in between.

Brilliant. It's really, really good. I see why people were raving about it.

It's wrong on quite a few levels. You know, it's just, it's a bit, it's, well it's not a bit. It's just very, very disturbing really.

But it's, it's also quite a lot of fun as well. In a weird way. And the actors, yes, it's just really good.

Really good show. So I watched that and I watched. Yeah, I'm watching Narcos, Mexican or Mexico.

And it's quite weird because they're speaking Mexican in this. They're speaking Colombian in the other one, but it sounds very similar. So the two languages sound quite similar.

So it's, it's a good, it's, this one's good. It's, it's a little bit different. You have to get used to the new characters.

It's all new characters and new, but it's made by the same people. The intro music is exactly the same as the other one. And people that played, let's for example, Pablo Escobar, the same person plays the same character, even though he's only like in it for a little while, just as, just as like a guest appearance in a way.

So that's really cool that they got, bring back some of the same characters. So I like that. I like it a lot.

It makes me very pleased. Yep. Jumping up and down and my nipples are wobbling in agreement.

It was very pleasing. So when I finished watching this, I'm in season two, there's three seasons, I think. Then I guess it'll be time to watch.

I'm thinking of watching El Chapo because El Chapo is actually, he started to become a main character in this one I'm watching now. So I'm not sure. We'll see.

The other problem is it will be, I suppose, the crossover seeing this, because I think the El Chapo is made by different people. And it's got a different person playing Chapo, which means, you know, if it was the same person, it was the same company, same producers, then I'll probably want to watch it because it'd be, I don't know, just be really interesting. But to see a different actor playing him, I think I need to give a little break.

I'd have to have a little rest. Let my brain get used to or open up to the possibility that a different actor can play that character. Because at the moment, that's not him.

It's not him. I've been watching him for three weeks. It's not him.

It's someone else. How can he call himself that? Looks nothing like him. See, I have to try to avoid that internal anger.

Anger. Very little has happened. I went, I think it was Thursday, yeah, Thursday, went up to the pharmacy, went up to the pharmacy.

Did I go for myself? Where did my friend go? I think he went. Anyway, there was there was people outside. What are you doing? What are you doing? So I thought we got a queue.

And this lady came up to us and said, have you got a, are you on the list? I thought, was this a nightclub? A pharmacy nightclub? My friend said, this one's come to get my prescription. She said, oh, you can go in. So the queue basically is for the jabs.

For the, you know, the old jab jab. The end of days jab. The, you know, whatever it is called.

So there's about eight people at that point. And when I left, because we did our thing, and I went to a shop, and as I was leaving, there's got to be at least 12 to 15 people outside waiting. The queue's getting longer and longer.

And I've not received no text messages, no emails of any kind to offer me the jab. I've had two of them. This is the third one.

Third of three, third of three. But I'm not standing in the street for hours though. I'm not that excited about it.

So yeah, I'm probably just, maybe I'll just give it a miss for now. Wait until the, wait until the, you know, it's not queues anymore. The government want a million a day done.

A million. It's, I find it a little bit interesting that this country started to put in, for those, yeah, this might be interesting to people not in the UK. They've made, they're asking people from today, Monday, to work from home if at all possible.

So that's a big step back. Big, big step back from before. You know, basically things were opening up now, apparently just in that period.

And things are closed, things are very slow. Restaurants are, you know, getting cancellations and all kinds of stuff. So it's just, and then the stats, like the daily stats for, not for those new cases, but some of the other, you know, more serious stats, are much, much lower than normal.

So the last three days, I don't want to say the words, but the last three days, it's been much lower than previous weeks and months, in fact. So kind of on paper, it looks like a bit of a weird, weird decision for the government to be making. I know they're basing it on what might happen, rather than what is happening.

But hey, I wouldn't want to run the government, would you? You can't win, can you? Whatever you do, you can't win. So it's, I try not to criticise. I try not to, but I can't help it.

I have to. I just find it interesting that people in charge, I mean, people in politics lying, it's not a new thing, is it? It's weird that we expect, I say we, but you know, I don't know about your country, but in the UK or England, we expect politicians to lie. That's what we expect from them.

Which means no one can ever act surprised. You can act surprised, but you're lying to yourself. You're lying to yourself.

Why do you keep lying to yourself? You keep on lying, lying to yourself. Nobody knows. Oh, here's some stuff.

Let me have a look, see if it's on here. No, it's not on here, is it? Why am I thinking about it? It might be on here. Let me have a look.

Amazon. Amazonian. Amazon.

Forget that. Forget signing in. Let's just see if it's on the page.

Amazon. Basket. No, it's not.

Go away then. You don't have to be part of this. Glimmy.

Let's have a look. Let's do it on my phone. Amazon.

Amazon. Amazon. Amazon.

Okay. I found some books I want to get. Now, I was thinking maybe I can make these into a, a, what's it? What do you call it? You know, my, I put it into a basket thing so you can buy them if you want.

It's not really for me. It's for this podcast. I found some books, which if you wanted, if you want, you could buy me for Christmas.

But again, let me just point out, it's not really for me. It is for me. And I'll make, it'll be entertaining because I'll show you what I mean.

I found some books. There's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 12 books. The first one's called Weird But True 2022.

Wild and Wacky Facts and Photos. National Geographic by National Geographic. It's for kids.

It says for kids, but who cares? 16 pound 23. So I guess that's, maybe that's too much. But one might put it, I might put it into my wishlist.

And again, I want to point out, it's not really for me. I want to buy a laptop. It's not for me.

I've got no interest in laptops. I mean, I'll go on the internet. I don't even go onto the internet like I used to because I spend so much time doing stuff that I don't, I don't really get that pleasure that I used to.

You know, back in the old days when the internet started, it was so exciting for me, for people like me. I say people like me, weirdos maybe. It was new.

It was new. It's exciting. I used to go into, in Leighton in East London, there was this internet cafe.

But it was like a charity internet cafe. And it was like a social enterprise thing. And it was good.

I went in there nearly every day. And I'd go in there and I'd probably, I'd buy coffee and I think they had cakes and a bit of food and stuff. And I'd go in there.

And I'd leave just as the kids were sort of kicking out of school, because they'd all come in and sort of, I didn't really want to be there with them because they'd be noisy and that. And I'm a grumpy old man, even then. Even in my 20s, I was still in my 20s then, I'm still a grumpy old man.

So I'd probably be there. I'd go there for about maybe midday till about two. And maybe half two, I don't know.

And I just loved it, just searching online for stuff that information you can never really get. If you go to a library, a library, a lot of the information is very old. Because you know, if you look at a book, it's old stuff.

I suppose newspapers are up to date as far as it's yesterday's news, isn't it? Of course, it was written yesterday. You could watch the news on the television, or listen to the radio. But the internet just made everything more accessible, more up to date.

And I like that. Yeah, I like the idea of being able to find out what's happening now, or at least in the last few hours, without having to watch the news, without being spoon fed whatever they want to tell me. At least, you know, you can cross reference a and then maybe go to a different website.

And, you know, if they're all kind of saying the same thing, then there's a good chance that it's true. You know, if maybe I was having a drink. I used to love the internet.

And we're talking about dial up. So slow. And I think, I think it's when I first started to build websites, it's 2000.

So this is what I was what, probably 29, 29 years old. Beginning of the year, I got excited about websites. Unless it might be in the end of the year, previous year.

But anyway, I remember just I was around my cousins. His dad, I guess my uncle would be he was very into writing code and making like writing computer code and stuff. And I thought, what are you doing that for? couldn't really understand why someone would want to do that.

And he said, Well, look what I can do here. I can. And it it also taught my cousin a few bits.

And they were basically had notepad on Windows, you know, Windows, notepad, whatever, Microsoft notepad. And by putting a bit of code in and then open it up in HTML, without the internet or anything, just open it up. And you could see a page might just be basics, basic writing.

But you could also add a picture you could you could add graphics or if you knew what you're doing. And to me, it was kind of magic. Because before then, I'll be honest with you.

I mean, I don't know when I got the internet. Myself, I don't know when I got it. And so I got a computer.

My first computer at about 1000 pound it cost back in 2000 and not 2000. It was 1998. I would say, probably about summer 98.

And I bought this computer from the catalog. I was paying 10 pound a week or something like that. So that was 20 pound a week is a grand a year, isn't it? So yeah, I was probably paying 10 pound a week for three years or something like that.

Anyway, I remember setting it up and it's just what we're gonna do now. I had no internet, I had no internet connection. I'll be honest, I'm not even sure if I knew about the internet at that point.

I must have done. I can't remember. But I didn't have the internet.

And I don't think I'd ever used the internet. I did in definitely did in 1999. Or maybe maybe late 88 98 maybe late 98 like half the second half of the year, maybe I started using emails and stuff like that.

But before that, you know, in those days, emails weren't required. No one asked for emails. You know, it wasn't like a general thing.

But then needless texting. You know, there was no smartphones at that point. Well, there were but they weren't called the smartphone was something that could they say a thing called WAP, W A P, which was into it, which was the mobile phone internet.

And it was really, really, really basic. And I don't want to say it was bad. But it really was bad.

It was very basic. But even then, most phones didn't have cameras. I think some did.

But I think pretty much most most phones, in fact, maybe none, none did. I don't know. Because it went through a stage where the smaller the phone was, the better it was.

It was fashionable to have a really, really, really tiny phone. Like a flip up phone. So you flip it open.

And it sometimes wouldn't even reach from your ear to your mouth. So you have to move it. So you talk and then you have to move it up to your ear so you could hear it.

Because it was so tiny. Sometimes you'd hold it in your hand. And it's so distracted to you and you then you realize Oh, wait, and your phone has just disappeared.

Because it just it was so small, it just hiding in the creases of your hand you didn't the where was it? Oh, there it is. You open your hand, it just pops out now. It's like a magic trick.

But without the applause or magic or trickery. There's nothing like a magic trick, will it? No, it won't. No.

So yeah, the internet was so slow. You actually have to kickstart it. Do you know those? It has really old garden cutter things with the engine, and you have to pull the engine pull the lever the engine bit like a motorboat.

But it's that kind of it. That's what the internet was like. They used to be if the side of the computer, the you know, with the internet hub was you had to pull a call that once he got to that and it was great.

I love that sound. Very, very weird. And a picture would take about 10 minutes to open up.

Which for those that are young, probably understand the difficulty with that. Imagine get really excited about a picture. And you're waiting for it to open.

And it just it doesn't. You know, five minutes later, you're up to the knees. Oh, lovely kneecaps, right? It wasn't wasn't very good.

It's okay for text, okay for, you know, reading stuff, because that that opened up fairly quickly, but still wasn't fast. It wasn't till the early 2000s of broadband really sort of started really. And then, I mean, we had in 2003.

I had still had dial up in 2003. But by 2005, I think it was all broadband by then. But it wasn't necessarily quick.

quicker. But every broadband I've ever had cuts off. Lately, it's not been as bad.

You know, the time when it was cut off all the time. But part of the reasons that's because I've got internet that I use separate for uploading for downloading for all the stuff I do. With the podcasts, I use a separate internet to the one that I use.

For the one I use over there, that's basically just for the TV. Because it's not very good. I get 39 megabytes a second.

39 megabytes a second on there on my phone. What do I get on my phone? Come on, let's check it out, shall we? Speed checker, start test. Stay away.

Yes, 80, 83, 82, 83. Put the volume down so I don't get disturbed. 79 megabytes per second.

Compared to 38. Let me see. I'll check my internet, see what the broadband run tests.

So I'm going to run a test. See how quick it is. It says it'll take 30 seconds.

Connection to the hub is working as it should be. Go on, is it? Are you? Yeah. I'm so glad to wake up tomorrow and know I haven't got to do any more of this stuff, any more of what I've been doing the last week.

My internet, 39 megabytes a second. Rubbish, isn't it? More about your, I've got two connections, two connected devices. Samsung Electronics.

Oh, yeah, OK, fair enough. It's a TV. Says half.

Again, half the, the half the speed. That's what I'm getting. I see what I'm getting on my laptop.

Let's have a look. Check. Check speed.

Oh, that's not right. Check, chen speed. No, check.

Checking this run speed test. I'm doing it now. So I've got internet, got mobile internet on my laptop.

And I'm getting 79 megabytes a second. I'm getting, that's downloads, uploads, 35, 36 megabytes. My upload is nearly as high as my download on the other thing.

See, I'm gonna, I'm gonna need to get rid of some of these uh, broadbands. Because it's too much now. It's too much, too much.

I was trying to pay off my debts at the moment. I don't talk about that much, but it's what's going on. And I bought quite a bit of equipment and stuff to try and improve what I, improve, so central, improve what I'm doing.

And with the longer recordings, you know, the 10 hour ones, because they take up a lot of time to upload. And I needed more equipment to upload. And otherwise, this is going to take me all day.

So it's other stuff and more internet and blah, blah, blah, all that stuff. But now I'm not doing that anymore. It's almost, I don't need this much internet.

What I do need is a wifi that's brilliant. And I'll happily spend twice as much as what I'm paying for my current normal broadband. I pay 30 quid a month.

I'd happily spend 60 quid a month if it was good. If it was enough for me to use all my other equipment on and to support everything and not cut off ever. And give me at least, I don't know, 100 megabytes a second.

That's kind of ideally what I need at least. But I can't find anyone, any that do that. Find broadband.

Find broadband. Find broadband speed in my area. So let's see, I'll put a postcode in.

IP14169, okay. So let's see. And that's weird.

Oh, okay. So come on, give me a deal, baby. Great news.

We can get online with a super fast fiber. Really? Wow, need a landline phone? No, look at this, super fast. Blimey, 29 megabytes to 36 megabytes.

Wow, that's not mega fast. Super fast fiber. Ridiculous.

That's embarrassing. Embarrassing and they're going to try and sell me such slow. They even offer, yeah.

And 25 megabytes. You stay fast guarantee 25 megabytes. How embarrassing for them.

I can get 80 megabytes a second. On a mobile phone or my laptop or my iPad with a knife. I have phone internet.

How would, how can they seriously call that super fast? It's not, is it? It's not super fast. Super fast. To me is 200 megabytes a second, 500 megabytes a second, although I don't need that because generally most websites can't adapt to that anyway.

So you might have 100,000 megabytes a second, it's made no difference. Your Google browser is not going to open any quicker than it would do if you had a probably 80 megabytes a second. It's just going to open quick and that's it.

It's not going to open any quicker. There's a limit, you know, websites are not, they're not, don't base themselves around how much internet you've got or how fast your broadband is. Not, there's a certain point where it's wasted.

So if you've got 200 megabytes, this is my understanding, if you've got 200 or 100 megabytes and you got, you get offered 500 megabytes. Take it, but you know, you're probably not going to have that much difference. I might be wrong.

I mean, I like to think that you could download a huge document or a huge file a lot quicker with 500 compared to 100. I mean, technically you should be able to, but hey, what do I know? I'm just making it up as I go along. So that's no good.

Now, I'll put my, now I'll put my details in and they'll be sending me stuff in the post, wouldn't they? Find fast broadband. Find fastest. That's what I want.

You switch. Yeah, try you switch. Accept all cookies.

Yeah, I don't care. Broadband availability. Okay.

Broadband postcode checker. So I'll do that again. So it's more junk mail I'm going to get.

They're probably going to ask me for my email address, which I'm not going to give them. I'm not going to give it to them. No, you can't make me 70, 60, 40.

Oh, okay. Okay, they're all rubbish plus net, okay, 66 megabytes, 66, it's double, it's still not enough. Vodafone, 67 megabytes, not enough, plus net.

Again, TalkTalk, 67 megabytes. We're still a lot better than it's double. Well, it's a lot better than the one I've got.

Vodafone 38 megabytes. So I don't know what. Oh, super fast.

It's a different version. Plus net, normal one, 10 megabytes. What is the point? What is even the point of that? There's none, is there? Thank you.

There's none. They're all rubbish. Plus net.

I want 100 megabytes plus. And oh, look, there is one. Three, it says 100 megabytes.

Broadband. Wow. Three is 100 megabytes.

TalkTalk, 145 megabytes. TalkTalk, 145 megabytes. Shell Energy, 290 megabytes.

That's more like it. 46 pound 99 a month. For 16 pound more a month, I'm getting huge.

Huge amounts. Shell Energy, ultra fast fiber plus broadband. Wow.

Unlimited downloads. More info. I mean, look at that.

Except already an energy customer. No, I'm not. I want to save this page.

Add to bookmark. Done it. Go away now.

So what is it? 290. Why didn't they? I mean, why would they not assume that everybody wants 100 megabytes at least? Why offer people 10 megabytes? You know? Surely they should be made to offer everybody the very top that they can have the very most amount that they can offer. So these.

This. Makes me so angry. 900 megabytes.

Zen Internet full fiber 900. 59 pound. Again, the same.

So 900. That's huge, isn't it? Wow. Ultra fast fiber broadband.

Switch to full fiber broadband. Helping you do more from smart homes, live streams, Netflix, binging, binging. Games or working from home.

Get the job done. No price hikes ever. Ultra fast broadband.

Fiber full fiber 900. 24 month contract. 900 megabytes a second.

Average download. 100 megabytes average upload. Wow.

Lifetime price guarantee. You keep the same monthly price on your monthly bundle when your contract ends. Phone line not included.

Don't want a phone line. Go away. Leave me alone.

Price for life. No limits. You can download and upload as much as you like.

UK all the way. Award-winning customer service. If you need us.

Be cool. Be kind. We drive our business.

Blah blah. Quick switch. We sort out the switch for you so you can relax.

Gigabit speeds up to 900 megabytes a second. Download speed with full fiber. 15 minutes or less to make the move.

I'm gonna look into this. Because you know what? If this works. If I get it and it works and I can use it for everything that I do.

I can get rid of all the other mobile stuff. Like the internet. Keep the one on my phone.

Well no I could get rid of the ones on my phone as well. Maybe keep one. Keep the one on my phone.

And then get rid of the others. So the iPad and the laptop could all run off the internet. The broadband.

Which is how it should be innit? If you're at home. Why would you have to have extra broad, extra mobile internet? Which is what I've had to do. Because every time I try to upload something.

The internet would cut off. That's true. That's what happened.

And it would take me. Sometimes for one recording to upload. Sometimes I'd have to try it five, six, seven times before it worked.

Seriously. It was just so silly. But I'm stuck into a contract.

With the one I'm with. I was. Although it should be running out soon.

I wonder how long I've got left of that. Broadband. Your pack.

Should be. It's rubbish. Really rubbish.

You'll be being taught Bill. 30 pound a month. Make a payment.

No. So it's cost me 30 pound a month for that. For 36 megabytes.

And how can I get rid of them? My problem of staying. My account. So look at my account.

Account changing. Change of position. My contract.

Your sky contract lasts 12 months. But. That's no good.

Don't tell me specifically about my contract. Right. My account.

Majority is staying. My account. Moving home.

Account subscription. Having a wind up mate. You're winding me up.

So that's interesting to check that out. Zen. Zen.co.uk I have to do a little bit of research for that.

Because. Before I change over. Switch over.

I need to find that it's. Proper. And it's popular.

And it works. So and for someone said. Blimey.

You're going to pay 59 pound 99 a month. Compared to what I'm paying out at the moment. Yeah.

That's a big saving. It's only 19 pound 99 more than what I'm currently paying. For the broadband.

And I've got four mobile. Four mobile. Internets at separate.

Which is 120 pound a month. Extra on top. So yeah.

I need to. But that's because I needed. I was using all four.

In November. I was uploading. So I was making different recordings.

I was uploading all the time. I was uploading stuff. You know four different versions of the same.

Recording. One two hours. One five hours.

One 10 hours long. And the original recording. Sharing them on different podcasts.

There's a lot of lot of. Save me a lot of time. Being able to upload stuff for more than just one thing.

Which is what the broadband is supposed to be for. But it don't work properly. If I can get that swapped over to that.

Zen. I can get rid of all the other broadbands. All the other.

The. Internet stuff got. The mobile.

It's all unlimited data you see. So there's no cap. I can get rid of them.

And just use the. Internet. Just use one.

How brilliant will that be. Wow. Short term.

I'm gonna have to cancel stuff. But long term. It's gonna be good.

If it works. I'm gonna check it out. I might have to wait till the end of the month.

Before I can pay. Because it's. Yeah they're gonna want me to pay money aren't they.

$59.99 plus $29.99 setup fee. So that's definitely gonna be. Begin of the year time.

Before I can even look at that. There's something definitely worth looking at. It could be groovy.

Yeah. I've waffled on. Waffled on for hours and hours.

77 minutes in fact. It's a long time isn't it. Even in pig years it's a long time.

So. I said pig years. Not pig ears.

Pig ears? What do you call me pig ears for? That's rude. No pig years. I'm so tired.

Right. On you go. Hopefully I'll be a bit more with it tomorrow.

So take care. Remember. Be kind to yourself.

Lots of love. Bye.