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Hello, and welcome to Jason Newland dot com. My name's Jason Newland, and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.
Before I go any further, I'd just like to tell you that you may notice that I sound a little bit different. It's because I've been a bit under the weather, you may say, and been rather poorly, actually. And I did mention this in a previous podcast, but it's made my voice slightly croakier.
Either that, or my voice has finally broken. Anyway, I'm trying to talk in a way that stops me from coughing. I'm still having coughing fits.
It's better than tantrums. So there you go. Well, the good news, the good news is, well, it's not good for anyone else but me, but the good news is I don't have COVID.
I don't. I had a COVID test. So I'd like to say thank you to a few people that reached out to me.
Rachel, one, a few others. Just to, Rachel insisted I got a test and angered me. Don't tell me what to do.
But I got a test and did it. I'll be honest with you, I was hoping it was coming up positive. That's what I was hoping.
Not because I want the COVID virus. If I was feeling well, and I took the test, I wouldn't want it to come up positive. But because I felt absolutely awful for way too long.
But, you know, I started feeling ill Thursday week. So it was Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. And that's Monday.
So this is the 11th day. Excuse me. But I'm feeling really crappy.
It started Wednesday. So I had Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. So six days.
But I feel a heck of a lot better than I did. That's for sure. The worst of it was Wednesday night, Thursday, Friday, I guess Saturday.
But you know, I started to start to feel a bit better Saturday, but still in bed. I'm going to have to leave some of the coughing in. Otherwise, it's going to take me ages to edit.
But any like proper coughing, I will edit out a little bit like that. I will leave it. But anything loud, I will delete or pause.
Press the pause button. No one wants to hear someone coughing, do they? Let's face it. Mind you, it might be more entertaining what I actually say.
Hmm. Oh, so yeah, I haven't got COVID. Did the test.
You know, stuck the thing in the back of my throat and up my nose. So now that's good. I can go back out into the public again and, you know, get people to spit in my mouth like I normally do on a public transport.
Trains. That's how I thought I called it to start with. But no.
So everyone is safe to do that. Don't worry. I thought, you know, when you're on a bus, you know, little button you pressed for the bus to stop or train or travel.
You know, I like to lick it. I lick that button. It's safe to do so.
Apparently, I haven't got COVID. Had everything else. I've already got botulism or something.
I've already got something like way worse. And. Oh.
I tell you, man, this is. It's weird because my friends were really ill at the same time. And so there's no compassion for each other.
It's like he's going about how he is. I'm thinking, well, what about me? And he's doing this. He's not interested in how ill I am.
I'm not interested in how ill he is. We are. But not in, you know, it's like, well, I'm ill as well, mate.
It's like being tied to a post with snakes surrounding you and shout to a person. I've got snakes surrounding me. So why? Deal with it yourself, mate.
I'm dealing with these ones. OK. He's.
He's got headaches. He's like really. He seems iller.
He's iller than me now. But. On Thursday, when I was in bed completely, you know, with every single item of clothing on.
Ruining a fair few bits of those items of clothing. He was up eating. He had sort of five meals that day.
So he was so he got better and then he then he got ill again. It's like, oh, that's not good. So I'm I'd say I'm probably 50 percent better, 50 percent there.
A few more days of just relaxing, resting. The worst things now really is chest and my back. I've been aching because of all the coughing.
The muscles, the bad mustard, the muscle pain I had before that kind of went away, came back. So I'm back in my brace again to try and correct my posture. And that's probably more to do with just laying down for far too long and not using any kind of muscle.
That's all really just lying there. Or sit down in a chair, just sitting there. It's not good.
It's I need to use. It's not that I've got a lot of muscles, but I just need to use the ones I have. If I can.
It's like scaffolding, isn't it really? It's the scaffolding. It's it's nothing like scaffolding. I don't know why I'm talking about scaffolding.
I want to be a scaffolder. I saw a documentary on scaffolding. That's what I talk about scaffolding.
Hope you don't mind. I don't. Why do I say these silly things? Why? The one thing that's really, really, really strange.
Excuse me. Really strange thing is my hearing still hasn't come back. So I've got probably I'd say 50% hearing in both ears.
Can't really judge it 100%. Actually, should I do an ear test? Have I got an ear test on my phone? I could do an ear test. I used to have an ear test.
My AIS. WhatsApp. A hearing test rather than an ear test.
It had pictures of ears on there. I'm sure it did. Okay.
This would be interesting for everyone. I know that there's not one person listening to this. At all.
I know there's not one person listening to this thinking. Oh, brilliant. Do an ear test.
That'd be great fun. For us to listen to. Hearing test.
Mimi hearing test. Test your hearing. Global tinnitus.
I just, I want to see. I want to get one that doesn't try and sell me something. You know what I mean? Let's just check this one.
Right. This one is called. Ear age checker.
Or is it hearing? No. Hearing analyzer light. It's not in a hurry to download.
Oh. What are the ones that I've had before? Because. I don't know why.
I don't know who. It. Open.
Okay, let's open it up. Let's see what it is. Right.
I want to put it on. So it might be a little bit of ringing. So this is what it is.
So close. So. Start.
What am I supposed to do? How's it going to start? Well, press start. And it's supposed to start when I can hear it. I'm supposed to press.
It's ridiculous. It's a dud. That's not working, is it? I guess it's because it's free.
Because they haven't charged any money. They're not bothering putting one that works. If I give them money, probably put one that actually makes a sound.
Crazy. I'll try a different one. See if that works.
I could hear it. I'm joking. I could hear it.
What am I like? Right. So. I'll start off.
Soft. Start. So I need to press it when I can hear it.
Right. I can hear that. I can't figure out how to work the thing.
I don't like it. I'm very angry with it. Very angry.
I get angry at things I don't understand. And that's how it should be. Right.
Hearing test and ear age test. That one wasn't very easy to understand. It didn't give me, like, press this and, you know.
Hearing test. Here we go. Okay.
Go to very quiet environment, which this is. Everywhere is quiet for me at the moment. Connect your earphones or headphones or wear them properly.
Set volume to 50. Where's my headphones? I like the way they say collect them properly. What? What do you mean I'm not going to stick them up my nose like I normally do? Connect them properly.
I wonder where it goes. Oh, there's a thing underneath at the bottom. I didn't know that was there.
Here's me trying to stick them into the speaker. Right, okay. Here we go.
You won't hear the thing. I put the headphones on. Set volume to 50.
So, volume. Current. 50.
Okay. Start test. Tap the button as soon as you hear the sound.
Nothing? Okay, there you go. Hmm? Huh? Okay, it's not very exciting to listen to on your end. Okay.
The weird thing about it is I start to hear it before it's even started. So, I'm hearing sounds that aren't even there in anticipation. This is much better.
Basically, whenever I hear it, I press here, the hear button. It's aimed at elderly people, I guess. So, that's suited for me.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
Wow. Okay. This is exciting for everyone listening, isn't it? Tomorrow, I'm doing a ventriloquist act.
Day after a magic show. It's all happening here. I think Friday, I'm going to draw you a picture.
Hmm? Listening to painting with Jason. Can't paint at all. I have no artistic talent.
It's terrible. And I hate saying it as well. I'd love to be artistic.
I was told I was artistic. Then I realized, I learned to spell when I realized it was spelled wrongly. And I looked it up, and I realized it was a different word.
Come on. The thing is, this won't work without me. I've got headphones, so you can't hear the bleeps.
Come on. Don't do a sound. Stop teasing my ears.
With your delicate touch. Come on. Nothing.
It's almost like skipping through, like you clearly can't hear. I'm listening. My stomach's gurgling.
Nothing. No, nothing. Oh, come on.
It's now happening. To test complete, tap OK to see the results. Right.
What's this supposed to mean? What's this supposed to mean? I don't know what it means. It doesn't tell me what it means. So, what's the point? How to read charts.
OK. Normal hearing. 40 below.
OK. I'm below 40. So, minus 10 to 25 is normal hearing.
25 down to 35 is mild loss. 45 down to 70 is moderate loss. 70 below is severe loss.
So, my hearing starts at 45 and goes all the way down to 80, about 87. So, yeah, I've got severe loss in some, but that's due to what's going on now. It's not like a permanent thing, I hope.
Otherwise, that would be a little bit annoying. But I'd get through. I'd manage.
My friend is obviously so annoying because he's up here. He comes up to see me earlier and he's sitting there with a headache. I'm talking probably twice the volume I normally talk.
I'm shouting at him and he's got a headache. I can just see him wincing every time I speak. I mean, it happens normally anyway when I talk, he's like, but this was even worse.
I felt sorry for him. I said, I can't help it. I'm not meaning to.
I might be shouting. I don't feel I'm shouting in this, but normally I talk a lot quieter when I do these ones. So basically my left ear is way lower than my right ear.
My right ear doesn't go any lower than 70. Which is the basically where moderate loss and severe loss starts. So my right ear 45 moderate loss in my right ear.
My left ear. Wow. It starts at 60 goes all the way down to 98, 79 various so I'm basically in the severe loss with my left ear.
Blimey. Okay, let me see. It must give me my ear age now.
Ear age test. They want to hear that. They want to see how old my ears are.
Oh. Current 12.5 Start test. Nope.
It's playing me something. What did you say? Could you speak up? What? What? What did you just say there? What's happening now? What's she talking about now? Huh? What did the waitress say? So where's El Pacino then? Who's he playing in this movie? That's the kind of deaf person I want to be. I want to be an annoying deaf person.
I want to be someone and you say, oh, you can't say deaf. I've been deaf. I've been partially deaf when I was a kid.
And this might mean me going back to where I might like this is how I'm supposed to be maybe you know with hearing issues. I can't still can't hear. It's playing but I can't hear nothing but I want to be annoying.
It's my dream in life just to annoy people. Is that bad? It's terrible. Sorry shouting out.
Especially going to funerals and stuff like that. What? What did he say? Hearing aids? Nah. So I said to Mel, what would you hear? Would you wear a hearing aid if you had to? I said no.
What if I had to? I mean, that's a different ball game in it. But this had to and needing to this that's a different it's a different sentence. Like right now.
If this is my permanent hearing I would need to wear a hearing aid. I wouldn't have to wear a hearing aid. Does that make sense? I would be asking people to repeat themselves a hell of a lot.
But that's their problem. That's not going to affect me. Anything that keeps people away.
It's a dream. My ears are 75 years old. Oh God.
Well, if nothing else if I don't get anything else out of that I live to be 75. Eh? Part of me did. So I can hold on to that.
Would I wear a hearing aid? No, because I want to have sex again. That would be my answer to that. Thank you very much.
I'm doing a little bow. Thank you. No, I wouldn't wear a hearing aid unless I had to.
Unless it was like unless I literally couldn't hear a single thing. Then yeah, I would wear a hearing aid. But if my hearing stayed like it is now even though it's completely crappy Mind you, say that now I can say that knowing with a degree of confidence then my hearing will return.
But, if it doesn't then maybe I have to rethink it. But I ain't got a lot going for me. I don't want to add another obstacle to sex.
It's just how it is. It's how I feel. Anyone like is wearing hearing aids it's not an obstacle.
No, I'm talking about for me. I don't care about your sex life. I'm talking about my sex life.
It's all about for me. For me, to me personally. I just personally I like a very very What's the right word? What's the word for it? I don't know.
What's the word for it? The opposite to deep. Yeah, I don't I don't know. It just doesn't It's kind of like would I wear a brace? Not to keep me pants up but for me teeth.
No. Not unless I had to. Of course, if I had an accident and my teeth I had no choice and had to get them all screwed together and you know that would be awful but then I'd have to do what I had to do.
Or if I had my jaw wide shut and I had to you know, yeah. I wouldn't choose to do that. And if I was going to I would have done it by now.
If I was like that worried about correcting my teeth so that they were all straight plus I've got little baby teeth anyway. I have. Honestly, you could the dentist spends about 30 minutes looking for them.
He has to climb in my mouth to actually look. He does. That's the time I got a little bit of rope and oxygen and stuff so he's like, where is it? He's like like some God, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever said.
But yeah, I've got very small teeth. Not big at all. Oh dear.
No. What I have realised is to have the ability to manipulate your hearing would be an absolute blessing. So I guess if you have a hearing aid then you have that ability.
However, I have been in places where where there was someone with a hearing aid in a, it's at a Buddhist centre and they kept asking to excuse me what did you say? And it was all the way through and it was there's only so much compassion there is in the world, you know. You'd expect to have a little bit of it in a Buddhist centre. It was it got a little bit repetitive after a while.
In the end, like well how about turning your hearing aid on? You know, there's a there's a hearing loop which if you there's a setting on a hearing aid you can press it to that loop which means that you can and basically it's like these microphones that pick up what's being said. Although I think it can be quite weird and get weird feedback sometimes. But I guess my only experience of my experience of deafness or lack of hearing is I didn't know.
Does that make sense? I didn't know that I was partially deaf when I was a kid. I didn't know. Did not know.
No one told me. So if you don't get told you don't know. You don't know what other people's experiences are in the world.
You're not no one tells you that you don't need to have the TV on at 150 to be able to speak to hear it. Oh dear. I'm going to have to keep coughing.
It's annoying. That's very strange though. Strange feeling because I didn't have this feeling before or whatever feeling I had it's all I knew.
So maybe it did feel like this. I just you know but this is it feels I guess like my ears are underwater. Like I'm you know sort of you know when you lay back well I suppose you're in a swimming pool or you lay back in a bath or something like that.
It's a little bit like that not quite as much. It's not quite the same feeling but it's a similar kind of feeling. But I keep hearing weird sounds and I don't know what they are.
I'm listening out for my front door in case someone knocks on the door. I have to lock knock loudly because I can't hear if otherwise. Someone phoned me earlier and I didn't hear the phone.
I did hear it because I saw it but like what's that weird tiny little tingling sound that was my phone. Ladies and gentlemen this is the healing process. I'm sharing my healing process with you.
Relieving the body of the toxins so I can heal and come back into your womb and be part of your lives again regularly with all the various different podcasts that I do because at the moment this is the only one I can really do. I'm hoping that's going to change tomorrow. I'm hoping.
But I would like before I go I'm not going to go just yet but Blimey I'd like to thank everybody for listening over the last month October 2021 for helping me to reach my targets that I set for myself. Thank you very much. I do appreciate it.
So I've also got targets set for November and December and I decided to do this I'm going to look at the wall now so I'm going to turn around but I'm going to keep me I'm going to keep me gobbling near the microphone. Mind you I feel like speaking so loudly I could probably walk into the bathroom and you'd still hear me. Is that because it's echoey? No I wasn't thinking about that but that's probably more of a reason really.
Stop asking questions. You don't really like being asked questions do you? No I don't. Shut up.
So September So I'm talking about stats but it's relevant to what I was talking about. It's not just my way of getting into like easing my way into talking about statistics and I'm only going to give you the overall ones anyway. Just to let you know kind of how I got to where I got to.
So 2006 I started a podcast I had 14 people download my podcast and it was a pain relief one and I thought wow this is on Myspace and I thought wow people really dig me. I'm going to keep doing this for the next 17 years until I'm old and I can't hear anymore and my willy falls off and I just burp randomly gas just releases itself automatically without me even noticing. Yeah! Okay so July 151,000 August 210,000 September 458,000 downloads So you see how it's grown over June was I mean April 177,000 May 193,000 June 212,000 So it's grown over that time September 458,000 So probably near the end of September I thought Oh!
I know what I'll do I'll set a target for the next three months the last three months of the year You know it's going to be winter I might as well maybe make use of the winter and have it as a positive thing you know for myself I know people like to do other things like Halloween and Christmas and stuff but I'm not really do that stuff so October If I want to be scared I can look in the mirror any time I don't need to have a certain day of the year to celebrate I ain't got to dress up I scare myself every time when I look in the mirror I was looking in a puddle like what is it?
what is it?
and I realise it's just a shoe but that's a different story for another day so October my target for October the amount of downloads is 600,000 so 458,000 in September so probably I don't know if it's the last day of September or the day before I thought oh so I wrote I put all these things on the wall loads of pieces of paper with stats written down fills up the whole of the wall and I thought ok here's what I'll do set a target I won't try and sort of double to like go from 210,000
in August to 458,000 in September not going to say ok in that case I want 900,000 in October no I thought no I'm not going to do that I'm going to give myself a fair chance so for October I set 600,000 downloads November 800,000 and December 1,000,000 downloads now I like the million the million is a nice round number as far as I don't know for a lot of people a million is not a lot and especially people YouTube you know popular YouTubers get millions of plays for one video within 10 minutes or you know
but I'm old school and I grew up thinking a million being a huge amount you know $6,000,000 man $6,000,000 you wouldn't be able to make a tow for that would you $6,000,000 wouldn't even make a tow I don't know if that's true or not 75 year old is is that sad is that sad I don't know I don't feel pleased with it anyway so I set the target to me a million is still you know I know I've had many many millions many millions in my years many millions of downloads which I have but you
know I'm just to me it's still a nice number I got excited whenever I get one of my podcasts reaches a million I get excited I do I'm not going to lie I really do it excites me and I had my first podcast reach a million a little while back and it's now $1,425,000 so just in that short while it's picked up nearly another over $400,000 so that that'll be a $2,000,000 one and I'll put that on Facebook probably and be excited then and I have my second million one about a month ago and now
that's new that's $1,200,000 so I haven't got any others that are anywhere near at the moment I've got one that's which is actually quite close $888,000 so that's sleep insomnia hypnosis $888,000 so that's yeah it's only $100,000 $100,000 $112,000 is that right?
do not mock my mathematics I can hear you giggling at my mathematical disability it's not my fault I don't care I don't care the Let Me Boys Sleep podcast $344,000 it's a slow burner it's a regular burner it is I've had 799 downloads today every day you know it's growing more and more as time goes by more and more people listening but it's a slow it's not in a hurry you know what I mean it's not in a hurry and I don't mind that because sometimes I think if I lost my hypnotic ability I don't
know what would happen there but it's let's say let's say my voice went bad you know I lost my voice and all I could do was talk I couldn't talk nicely I know I probably don't sound very nice now but if I wasn't able to talk let's say my vocal cords got messed up or whatever I'm just thinking practically for the future I might not be able to do hypnosis recordings anymore because it might not be relaxing for people to listen to that but some people might still be happy to listen to me talking and
doing the let me bore you to sleep so this podcast might have the the long life you know this might be the the one that's still around in 10 years I don't know it even you I don't know I'm not sure I don't know really it's statistics it's a relaxation hypnosis of stress and anxiety last month 239,000 downloads just on one podcast I just think that's crazy really it's just amazing it does I've got 7,000 422 so far today and you know what it might seem I was just bragging about the stats I'm not really
it's not I'm just sharing my my joys sharing my triumphs as the way same as I share my sorrows and you know we shared Andre together we shared my illness you probably didn't want to share my illness did you but I'll kind of let you know what's going on I talk about things that are going well I talk about things that aren't going well I try and be honest sometimes and other times I just tell blatant lies sometimes I'm friendly sometimes I'm not so friendly sometimes I'm in a good mood sometimes I really shouldn't be
making podcasts you know that's just the way it is and being real my version of real you might say yeah but you do silly voices that's not real is it it's real to me that's all that matters it's real to me because that's what I do in my life when I'm in the kitchen doing the washing up I do silly voices and I talk to the people that walk past they can't hear me I hope but I you know I have conversations with myself I have done for years did it when I was a kid
it's ok when you're a kid to have an invisible friend isn't it when you're a kid when it gets turned into an illness then it's not allowed doesn't seem fair I remember my family when I got diagnosed with bipolar back in December 2010 or 2011 it suddenly oh that's why you're like you are that's why you act silly and you say weird things because you're mental it's like oh it might just be that's how I am might just be that's the person I am it's not necessarily not everything has to do with the illness you
know what I mean it's like yeah yeah it's like come on maybe it's hard it's hard it's very hard hard to get my head around other people's perspectives I guess when it comes to me you know when it comes to so you could be sitting there looking at me please don't stop staring don't like it stop staring you could be staring you could be looking at me through a little veiled curtain and at this point you are wearing a bikini I'm just letting you know it's not my fault it's the I don't want to clap
my hands now I'm clapping myself I'm so pleased with what I just came out with and you are a man I'm just saying you're a bikini man with a bikini can't call me sexist now so October I hope I do recover because this is going to be really crappy because you know what I'm going to keep making podcasts honestly till my dying breath I will make podcasts and that's going to be the weirdest thing in the world more morphine and I'll just be like no press record honestly that's what's going to happen mate hopefully not
for a bliming long time so October 669,868 downloads and my target was 600,000 so I got nearly 70,000 above pleased with that especially as you know let's face it the last two weeks of October I was unwell didn't really do that much and I was in agony agony with my back for at least four or five days and that has affected me like mentally as well actually which is something I was going to mention because of my experiences with my back now I've had my lower back problems for years and I've gone on about it
you know in the past the pain there compared to the pain in my upper back was practically non-existent now I don't know what it is maybe it's because it's a new pain it's exciting and that's why I'm giving it all the attention but it was awful and maybe because the lower back pain has come on over so many years I've kind of got used to it when it's worst it is excruciating and I have to lie down on the bed so when I get a delivery food delivery and I'm bending over picking stuff up that
buggers me up for maybe an hour or two it can do depending on you know how much stuff I'm getting or delivering or being delivered to or if I'm doing a vacuuming or if I've washed my hair so I'm bending over the bath washing my hair but then now that buggers my upper back as well it's like oh brilliant this is great so what I'm thinking of doing is a new podcast yeah that's what we need more podcasts from me isn't it yeah well isn't it wouldn't it make sense for me to do a podcast
firstly from a subject that I understand that I experience first hand and that I'm passionate about doesn't that make sense that that would be a pretty good subject for me to do a podcast on so premature ejaculation is going to be with Jason is going to be my podcast so coming soon that's it I don't know it's going to be probably back pain it's going to be a back pain podcast and it will be I don't know what I'm going to do with it I really don't know I mean I could perhaps do interviews with
people have a mixture of me talking about my back pain and talking about the the techniques of relief the relief technique you know different things like that and help me yeah to explore it so that I can use the technique on myself as I do it which I do that anyway when I make with my stress and pain relief podcast I use the technique as I actually talk through it I find that makes it more real more more real you know real more oh yeah I like women that are shallow that's it that's the word
I was trying to think of earlier November so this month that we're in now this is the first of November 2021 my target is 800,000 downloads 800,000 so far I have 19,693 so a daily target to reach 800,000 is 26,666 so as you can see I am nowhere near although it's still it's only 10 o'clock so still three and a half hours of the day but I won't be far off of it I'll probably hit I'll probably hit 24,000 maybe 25 so it won't be far off so it doesn't matter because we have a target
it's a month target it doesn't matter if some of the days are below as long as some as long as some of the other days are a lot higher so yeah 26,666 downloads a day sounds like a lot doesn't it don't you think just so yeah that's my target and I just wanted to thank you all for listening wherever you're listening whatever podcast you're listening to this on thank you because you're the reason I'm doing this I'll be honest there was a point I'll start I'll start getting emotional in a minute so let's just let's
just not get there but there was a point where twice in a week or in two weeks I had this feeling of hopelessness the first was with my back when I got to the point when I got to the point where it was so agonizing and the idea of being like this forever you know it wasn't I wasn't thinking very positively if I'm honest but it did move me to take action and to receive medical treatment which is what I did and I've also got physiotherapy well I've got to go back to the doctors on
the 18th 18th 16th I don't know one day in November and I think he's going to send me for physiotherapy I'm really pleased he didn't say have you considered losing weight because he was a fatty as well so I think that's why he didn't he didn't feel confident enough to say you need to lose weight because I might have just laughed at him because he was bigger than me he was a nice bloke I've got no issue with people whatever weight they are I don't care but don't tell me to lose weight if you're you
know it's like telling me to stop smoking while you're smoking like no my right ear is literally ringing it's ringing I stop now I mean I specifically turned down money on a few occasions from people asking me to do private sessions with them to help them to lose weight I said no I said I can't I'm fat I said I've got a big fat belly it doesn't work if you want go and see someone you don't have to be a slim person but it makes a little bit of sense not to go to someone don't
go to an alcoholic if you want to stop drinking don't go to someone that's like actively drinking alcoholic I mean because they can have all the hypnosis they can have all the experience in the world and be brilliant at hypnosis but there's that incongruence there there's something I don't know I don't know just for me it just feels doesn't feel right to me for me just for me I can't do the thing is weight loss is the biggest hypnotic thing you can do that's the thing do that on the internet people love it but I
don't mind you I'm just thinking about it maybe I should maybe I should just give up my my ideas my thinking about that just start making I did a couple of eating and drinking recordings but no I don't think I did any I don't think I've done any weight loss ones and there's a reason for that and the thing is you might think I really portray myself as this big massive blob almost like from Star Wars Jabba the Hutt or something and you'd be right that is me I played that character it wasn't a costume
that was me you might think oh that's sick oh really who got to get choked off by Princess Leia I did I'm the winner that sounded better in my head than it did out loud ok I take that back forget I said that yeah that sounded much better oh god that was wrong it was so wrong I'm so sorry everybody I'm sorry I have to apologise I really do so over this month yeah as I was saying twice and also when I was unwell probably Thursday time laying in bed thinking what the hell is the
point whatever I needed something to hold on to I don't have family I don't really have friends I don't have any of that stuff that maybe a lot of people hold on to like religion or just even having Andre here used to make a big difference to my life but the only thing I could hold on to and it is it feels a little bit like a rope waiting for a rope just to be lowered for me to hold on to or a vine like I'm Tarzan or something and the one thing I'm able to
hold on to is this this whatever this is and the only thing that gives me gives my life any meaning for me now I know that a lot of people they've got grandchildren I'm old enough to have grandchildren now I don't have children but you know they have that and they have all those different events going on and birthdays and celebrations and weddings and Bar Mitzvahs and Ramadan and whatever else people celebrate you know Christmas and all those sort of celebrations with family I don't really do that and this is my this is what I
do and I guess for me this is a very tiny little world really isn't it for me I live in a very little world little small little bubble but it has meaning to me and I have to believe that what I do is useful and helpful and has meaning for others otherwise I've got nothing so when I'm talking about my stats I'm not it's probably a little bit of me showing off maybe you know because you're my I suppose you are kind of like my family I'm talking to you maybe you speak I speak to
you every day in a sense sometimes don't I and I'm just sharing it with you like hey guess what 669,000 in October I beat my target by 70,000 downloads and like I'm going to hit 800,000 this month now one of the things is yeah maybe I'm showing off maybe it's gives me something to talk about but when I look at those stats to get that many downloads in a month over 600,000 well over 669,000 downloads there's some people listening to this there's some people out there listening to my podcasts this isn't just a handful of
random people locked locked away locked in a church hall by one of my big fans like you've got to listen to Jason it's your turn you're going to listen for 8 hours listen listen this is quite a few people and I don't know I just I come from a place in life where I never expected anything but misery that's all I expected out of my life all I expected was more misery didn't expect to accomplish anything in my life didn't believe I had the ability I thought I was thick stupid an idiot all that stuff
I was kind of right but it doesn't matter about that but I was idiot savant maybe I really believed that I was going I had no purpose I had no reason to be alive no reason for anything and I had to create my own reason so that's something that I would if I ever did a a TED talk something like that that would be what I would probably talk about is you don't have to wait for meaning to enter your life you don't have to get meaning from the same places that other people get it
because you might not find it as accessible to you you might not you might not might struggle with it you know it might not be as easy to believe in some things that other people believe in and to get it from there or family or you might not be whatever you might be like me and not be very very good with people generally so you can create your own meaning and you can do it however you want I have to have something that I believe is helping people because if it's not helping people I don't
want to do it but it also has to be fun there has to be some fun involved you know even when I do my serious hypnosis stuff I still mess about sometimes not all the time sometimes move, get on with it but I still tell the odd silly joke and sometimes laugh and I don't want things to be serious serious you can get serious anywhere else you don't have to come here for that if you want to take yourself seriously there are so many opportunities you know if you want to be solemn and earnest and
righteous you can be all those things just this is a place where you can get something different you know opportunity to have a different experience and to have a shared experience and I suppose I'm a bit like a soggy biscuit kind of familiar you know you've got that familiar you ever eat something you think what the hell am I eating this for I don't even really like it this is just you're used to it ok I'll have Weetabix again I much prefer to have Shreddies Rice Krispies even I keep buying Weetabix keep going back to
the Weetabix and as I talk about Weetabix I'm thinking of the hot milk Weetabix with hot milk ohhhh come on it's not just me is it I love me some Weetabix with hot milk just the smell the smell is perfection mmm mmm mmm yeah I wonder if someone said to me once what would you what would you prefer to lose your hearing or your eyesight I said shut up and just drive the bus please some people have weird questions don't they I don't want to lose either I'm quite happy to keep everything thanks my dad
my dad my dad my dad my dad my dad my dad my dad my my dad dad my dad my my my my my dad my dad my my dad my dad my dad my dad my dad my my dad my my dad my dad my
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.