#755 Let me bore you to sleep - POSTURE CORRECTOR - Jason Newland (24th OCTOBER 2021)

Hello and welcome to let me bore you to sleep. My name's Jason Newland. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

Um, what else? Um, I've got a few websites, jasonnewland.com and LetMeBoreYouToSleep.com. I wouldn't bother visiting them, they're a bit boring, a bit pointless really, don't bother. What else? Um, I love my, I'm such a promoter. So, according to this, since the 14th of October, I had 1 minute 41 seconds duration of people visiting my Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcast.

I think the word pointless comes to mind, but hey, I guess if I promote it and actually put something on there worth looking at. At the moment this is a picture of me bum. I thought people would like that.

Maybe my pulse isn't quite on the finger of my listeners. I've been ill all day, just like yesterday, just felt ill, um, been in bed most of the day. I thought I'd make an effort, try and do at least one recording.

This is the easiest recording for me to do, when I'm not 100%, well I'm never 100%, but when I'm not, you know, kind of, I said it easy, because it's just me talking, that's what I mean by that. I don't mean that I don't put any effort in, I don't, but you know, compared to having to speak in a certain way, you know, when I would do relaxation sessions, as you know, it's like, now you are feeling relaxed, yes, your knees and your abdomen and your chest and your anus and your armpits are feeling so relaxed you can just imagine lying on a beach full of dolphins, you know, that kind of stuff, you know.

The sexy, hypnotic voice that you've all become used to, well, instead of this sickly, sickly sore throat voice I've got today, yeah, a bit of a sore throat, I feel a little bit hungover, but I don't drink alcohol, so that's a bit strange, and before anyone says, but you look like you drink alcohol, big red face, yeah, I know I look like I drink alcohol, but, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm not, definitely got a big red face, but I inherited that from my big red faced father, what can you do, it's inherited, and

there's a politician, I probably shouldn't say his name, but there's a politician, he's like proper front bench famous politician, and he's got an alcoholic's face, the expression, and I've known a lot of alcoholics, I'm not having a go at alcoholics here, I've known a lot of alcoholics, known a lot of junkies, whatever, I've known lots of those kind of people, he's got that resting face of someone that is off his nut on alcohol, completely, you know, and when he eventually goes to rehab, and eventually writes a book, or has an article in the newspaper, my

fight with the demon drink, or something like that, no one's going to be interested, because everyone I imagine that has seen him, heard him talk, just assumes that he's an alcoholic, he's actually fallen asleep in the Houses of Parliament, he's fallen asleep in the chamber, like literally fell over I think once, leading up against one of the posts, and just fell asleep, okay, they do do long hours, and I know people slag off politicians, I'm not here to do that, but I'm not here to praise them either, but they do, they work long long hours

sometimes, it's especially if you're in the front benches and stuff, your whole life is that, that's all you can do, because it's full on, how do I know?

I'm guessing, I'm guessing, I don't know if it's true or not, makes no difference, why let facts get in the way of opinions, opinions are more important, don't you know, so yeah, I've had this, I'm warm, then I'm cold, and I'm all over the place, I might have COVID, I might, early one, I've been solitary pretty much for two days, and I've purposely keeping to myself now, for the rest of the week, it's Sunday now, so I'm gonna stay indoors until at least Friday, so if I do have COVID, let it just run its course,

and hopefully I'll come out the other end alive, and you know, so I don't infect anyone else, I knocked on my friend's door to see if he'd come to the garage with me, I don't mind infecting him, he's already had it twice I think, so, in fact I think I probably called it off of him, he's been ill for a week before, last week he was ill, and he also had it last year, he had COVID last year, so there's another person, just in my block, in my little block, six flats, at least two of

the people had COVID, I personally think that a girl downstairs had COVID, she died of that, the girl, the lady downstairs, but she died, I think it was February last year, and because it was so early, it was before COVID became popular, as it were, you know, before we really kind of knew about it, although we were reading about it, and it was, I mean, you know, they were talking about it in December, the December before, because China had it, didn't they, back then, but basically she got ill, I heard a coughing the week before,

because I could hear it downstairs, her coughing and stuff, and she collapsed, had a heart attack, and went to hospital and all her organs shut down, so they said it was like an unknown, I didn't know what was wrong with her, I didn't know what caused that, so this is literally weeks before the coronavirus became all that anyone spoke about, and then another person in the flats, he got COVID that April, and my friend got it, I think he got it in March, my friend got it in April, and my other friend, the one who

got it in March, no symptoms, I think he had a bit of a cold, and that's about it, and they only found out he got it, because he got tested, coming back, and they actually can tell when you had it, I don't know how, some kind of test, I'm partly making this up, and my friend downstairs, he actually, paramedics were called, because he couldn't breathe, he was on oxygen for about three hours downstairs, but he refused to go to hospital, so you know, although they didn't, he wasn't tested, he definitely, what else could it have

been, the paramedics at that point, all they were doing was visiting people that had COVID, you know, that was their pretty much full-time job, just seeing people with COVID, if they got a car crash, they were at a bit of like, it was like, you know, something different, brilliant, I'm sure it wasn't, but you know, just being silly, but both the paramedics had had it as well, so yeah, he was really ill, but honestly, even that, I'd go to the hospital, I wouldn't, I'd just go, but I like hospitals, no one likes hospitals, darling, no

one does, apart from weirdos, some people like hospitals, don't they, but apparently, every accident and emergency ward has at least a handful of people that come in all the time, do you mean hypochondriacs, possibly, possibly, but probably more just, there's probably a different word for it, they just want to be in hospital, they want to, for some reason, have a thing about hospitals, it might be hypochondriacs, hypochondriar, possibly, I mean, I don't know the people, but apparently some people just like, even, they'll just go and sit in the emergency waiting room, because they love the

environment, but I was thinking, how did I catch it, apart from sort of being around my friend, if he did have it last week, but then I didn't see, I hardly saw him, because he was in bed, he was ill, so I didn't bother him, I just said, if you need anything, let me know and I'll help, you know, and I thought that, I didn't say it to him, yeah, I didn't want him to think that I was being nice, which I don't like to be nice to people, if I can help it, I don't

like people to get the right impression of me, and I, so I didn't see him, but I did go on Thursday, so I travelled on three different buses, with people on there, and there's now people on the buses, I went into the petrol station in the morning, then I went into Sainsbury's supermarket, to have something to eat, then I went into the Sainsbury's supermarket shop, to get some stuff, then I went to the doctor's surgery, then I went to another supermarket, then I went to a pharmacy, and at the other end of a bus journey,

so between all of those places, you know, I'd have had contact with quite a few different people, a few hundred probably, so there's a chance I might have caught it, it's either that, or it's just a cold, it might just be a cold, and the reason I'm saying that, is because the symptoms aren't, you know, someone said, well, if it's not bad symptoms, it's probably not COVID, then is it?

Well, I've had both the jabs, so if I do, if I have caught COVID, or do catch it in the future, then hopefully, the severity will be lessened significantly, by having had the, I don't want to call them vaccines, because that's wrong, that's the wrong word for something, if you still catch it, you don't take the polio vaccine, and then get polio, the vaccine didn't work, then did it? You know, I mean, if you've taken the vaccine to stop yourself, the measles vaccine means you're not going to get the measles, it means you're immune, it's an immunology thing, isn't it?

It makes you immune to it.

Now, yeah, but it's all about the Delta strain, shut up about the Delta strain, I'm not interested in your opinion. Don't you dare mention the Delta strain to me, especially when I'm doing a live stream, don't you mention it to me. I know.

What about the variants? The variants. You're a variant. Go make me some more ice cream.

I need ice cream. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know. We'll see. But I've just felt, I mean, I felt rubbish on Thursday evening.

And I just, yeah, I was doing a live stream Thursday evening, I didn't feel very well. Don't make a live stream when you're not feeling very well. That's my advice.

My advice is don't make live streams. And I felt maybe going to make another one. And that's my final live stream.

I deleted it because someone annoyed me on there while I was doing it. And I annoyed them. And she's basically just wanted attention.

And I just didn't have the energy for it, you know, especially as I was trying to talk about my day. And I had a particularly bad day for well, I don't have much interest in going on in my life. So for once, I had quite an action packed day regarding my back, going to the doctors and all that stuff.

So I'm trying to talk about that. And it was kind of like, look at me, listen to me on the screen, like, just talking about stuff that had nothing to do with what I was talking about. So live streams.

It's my own fault, because a live stream is in itself an interactive process. And I wasn't going on there to be interactive. I was just going on there to film me doing my podcast.

And usually I'm very interactive when I do a live stream, I'm happy to chat. But you know, I didn't feel very well. And also I was trying to talk about my experience, which might be mildly interesting to at least three people.

But yeah, I think my live streaming days are gone now. I'm not I'm not doing it anymore. But I might make videos, I might, I might do it where maybe I just record myself making the podcast.

But even then, I don't know. Because at the moment, I'm sitting there, I'm scruffy and smelly, dirty, whatever. I haven't washed for 43 years.

And I can make a podcast. Easy. But if I'm going to film myself, I need to scrub myself to make my face look even redder.

That reminds me I need to have a bath. You might think yeah, perhaps you should. No, not not to wash.

But for my back. Apparently the heat not a hot bath, but a warm bath. So not like really, really hot, but nice warm bath.

It's bath. It's not bath. A nice warm bath should relax my back, hopefully the muscles in my back.

It's quite weird. I used to be a northerner. But I don't talk like that anymore.

There's a few words I do northern. But I used to be a proper, fully fledged northerner. When I was a kid, I lived in Newcastle.

And that's a northerner. You know, I was proper. Newcastle.

Not born and bred, but almost bred. Because I guess I moved there when I was about before I was three years old. So let's say three to about five.

Which is so it's not a long time it is when you're three. Between three and five. That's a long period of time.

Maybe five and a half even I don't know. So it's a long time to be living anywhere. And it means I learned to speak.

I don't know what age kids learn to speak like properly learn to fluently speak. But I would probably live in there when that happened. Which means I'd have had a what I did have a proper Newcastle accent when I and I still kept it up to the age of even when I was seven I had I did I talk like a million miles an hour and I was I didn't I didn't draw the accent.

Eventually my dad beat it out of me. And because he was from London, he just could not abide having northern children. I just moved up south and just naturally, I was around southerners.

But some people they don't lose their accent. If it's a strong accent, like Newcastle's a very strong accent. But people from like Scotland or Wales, they tend to just keep their accent even though they're around people, southerners all the time.

They tend to not lose their accent. They might slow it down a bit and become more comprehend more comprehensible more. Well, so people can understand them.

Because that's got to be annoying to have to repeat what you say all the time. Trust me ask anyone around me because I'm partially deaf, so I don't hear what people say, especially when they talk quickly. And I don't know they're about to say something.

My friend does all the time. It's like he almost purposely turns his back on me and says something. So what'd you say? Now, I'm not aware that I'm lip reading.

But I might be. I might have spent the last 50 years or 45 years or forever lip reading people and not not knowing that I'm doing it. Because I was born I guess partially deaf.

So I might spend my whole life lip reading without knowing it. So when someone's got their back to me, I figure it's just because their mouth is further away from my ears when they turn their back. But it's not that far.

It's not really further away really is it? It's a little bit further away. But whatever the the the measurement between your mouth and the back of your head, whatever that measurement is, that's how much further away is if someone turns their back or turns their head unless the sound doesn't go around corners. So can't go around their head to reach me.

I don't know. I don't know. I'm not sure.

Well, today, like yesterday, I spent a lot of time in bed. I've just got up out of bed actually. I've been in there for a couple of hours.

And earlier, I think it was, I don't know what time, six o'clock or something. I've woken up. It was eight o'clock.

Sun's woken up. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang on the door. And then bang, bang, bang, like really loud.

Loud enough for me to. Well, when I answered the door I had a hammer in my hand. And as my neighbor, one of my neighbors said, Oh, this package is on your doorstep.

Yes. So I said, I said, read that. What does that say on my front door? It says leave package on the doorstep.

That's why the package is on the doorstep. Well, if I see it there, I'll knock on your door. And if you go away, I'll knock on your door and I'll put it in my in my flat and keep it for you.

What? Go away. I didn't say that. So thank you.

Thank you. Yeah, I was in bed. Thank you for waking me up with such a violent loud noise.

Thank you very much. Much appreciated. I knew the delivery was coming because I'm aware of my life.

And someone might have took it. Well, if they would, they'd be very disappointed because it was a back brace. That's why I bought myself a back brace.

That's what I spend my money on. It's a Walker posture corrector. And I've been wearing it since I got it.

And I think it's actually working. Because it's forcing me to stand and sit in a correct position, correct posture, which is what I needed. See, I'm not one of these people that a lot of people like to just moan.

I do like to moan, don't get me wrong. But you know, they've got a physical ailment. And it's almost like part of them doesn't want it to get better.

Because then they've got something to moan about. I don't understand that because there's so many things you can do for yourself. With especially things like pain, chronic pain, there's so many things out there that you can try.

I mean, literally, you'll never run out of things to try to help yourself. And okay, you may not find anything that works for you. But you're less likely to find anything that works for you if you don't even look for it.

Or don't even attempt to help yourself. But then there's some people that think that they shouldn't have to help themselves. Other people should do it for them.

Wow, how have you survived so long in life? Thinking that other people should do stuff for you? Doesn't work that way. We have to do things for ourselves. So what I'm trying to say is I'm a hero for getting this posture corrector.

I had no choice. You know what? The pain I was in, or the pain that I've been in for the week, and it's still not gone. But the with the medication, it seems there's definitely got rid of the I think it's got rid of the inflammation, a lot of the inflammation.

Hopefully the inflammation will stay away. I hope. With this brace with this posture corrector, I'm hoping, legs crossed and all that, that my back will cease to be problematic.

Because I really had a taste of, I don't know how to explain it, severe chronic pain. I've had chronic pain before. This was on a different level, a different level to anything I've experienced.

Even my lower back. You know, it's, as I said, my lower back is more like a toothache. A toothache is much, it's easy to handle, if it's in a different part of your body, I find.

Not in your mouth. That's a different thing. That's a whole, that's a different ballgame completely.

But in my lower back, it's far enough away from my brain. I think the closer things are to your head, the more they seem to hurt, for some reason. But it's far enough away from my brain.

And why do we get headaches? Isn't that ridiculous? There's no nerve endings in the brain. And the brain takes up most of your head. You know, the insides of your head is your brain, isn't it? I know you've also got your eyes and, you know, other things in there as well.

The spinal cord attached to your brain, traveling down your body and that. But the actual brain, you know, the brain, there's only a small gap of liquid in between the brain and the skull. No nerve endings in the brain.

Apparently, I think there's no nerve endings in the lungs either. I read somewhere, but I need to, I think I'd like to learn a bit more about anatomy, because just for interest, really, but also to perhaps make my recordings a bit more knowledgeable, you know, so I can talk about stuff and know what I'm talking about. But I know that the brain has no nerve endings.

I know that, because I learned it somewhere. It ain't an opinion. Also, because people can have open brain surgery with a local anaesthetic, just to cover the pain of drilling through.

But the scalp, you know, that bit, once it's gone through, there's no physical sensation when someone is playing with your brain. It's weird. The part of you, and where does any pain come from? It comes from the brain.

So without the brain, there'd be no pain. But then without the brain, there'd be nothing, would there? But the pain produced the brain, rather, the brain produces the pain. So any physical pain, well, not just that any physical sensations is caused by the brain, and then the nervous system, you know, whatever.

But the brain is that's where the signals originate. There's a lot of biofeedback, isn't there? It's like the, you know, from going from that part of the body to the brain, and then the brain decides, is it painful or just to ignore it? It seems very weird, though, that the brain that's responsible for pain has no pain within the brain. It's, it's very strange.

I wonder if it will rain. Just to add another word that has the sound of pain in it. So I've got this posture corrector on me now, on me now.

I actually went to sleep with it on and I think I might not do that again. I don't think I'm going to wear it 24 hours a day. That's a bit too much.

I think I'll take it off when I'm in bed. And when I'm in the bath, and when I'm making sweet love, talk about making sweet love, talk about and other fairy tales. I, I've been thinking about this, this, the three new podcasts I want to make.

One is back pain. Because of my experiences with back pain, and I've had for a few years now, but with this specifically, you know, the last week with my upper back, I thought I might start a new podcast specifically aimed only at back pain and nothing else. Because I've got a real sense of, I was gonna say kinship, but I don't have kinship with anyone, but I can sympathize, I guess, with people that have back pain.

It's just damn awful. And it's, I don't know, hard to explain. I mean, pain is just crappy anyway.

It's not nice anyway, but I think the back is such a large part of your body. With me it is. But it's anyone, if you've got your upper back, that spreads all across the width of your body, and then the height would depend upon where it is, I guess.

That's a large area of your body to have pain in. And I'm not gonna say I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Why would you wish that on anyone? Why? Why you sicko? You're sort of wishing pain on someone.

You sick little boy. You little monkey, you. Wishing that on, oh, you naughty little munchkin.

So I'm thinking of doing a podcast for that. What else was I thinking of doing a podcast for? I thought about doing a podcast for bipolar, or mental illness, mental health issues. Although I have incorporated that into some of the podcasts that I've done.

And then I came up with this idea. I posted it on my Facebook page. At this point, I don't understand sometimes.

There's someone posted on Facebook. Does it bother you if investors to certain companies are members of the CCP? What bothers me is you haven't used the full name. So I don't know what CCP stands for.

So, you know, how about just using the actual words? Use your words, mate. Use your words. I don't know what CCP is.

Could be anything. I posted the picture of my podcast cover, the picture of my podcast, my new podcast called Erotic Hypnosis. So I posted it and I've started a new podcast, but I've not actually made any episodes yet.

Still not sure if I'm going to. But it's called Erotic Hypnosis. Okay, so posted that with the caption coming soon.

See? No response. No response. If I'd have posted a picture of a puppy, I'd have had like hundreds of people gushing all over the picture.

This I spent at least half an hour making that image. No response. It's a good picture as well.

It is. Honestly, it looks. I think it looks almost professional.

It looks like a proper podcast. Image. I think it could even be a book cover.

It's very basic, very simple, but it's clean and it's tidy and it works. I think. I think my images have come on over the years.

I'm a little bit better at making images than I used to be. But I thought I'd get at least a little bit of a response. People are thinking, oh, that's like mildly humorous.

Coming soon, you know, but now, now, now, now, now, now I had a, I remember I was in the middle of the night last night. I just happened to look at my phone. I thought I'd look at Facebook and someone on my Facebook friends list had sent me a message.

It looked like they were moaning about something, having a go at me about something. I'm not quite sure. I started to read it and suddenly it disappeared.

They deleted it. They'd like taken it back before I got a chance to read it. Dodgy behavior, mate.

That's dodgy, isn't it? Because normally if you post something, oh, and you might delete it, then you post another like you put in what you really meant to put. Didn't send another message. Dodgy behavior, mate.

Dodgy behavior alert. That's what I say. I do find it amusing how some people think that they can see the thing that I'm the husband or something and they can be rude to me.

Don't offer that service. You can't be rude to me. No, you can't.

No, you can't. I'm not your husband. I'm not your wife.

I do not. I'm not here to provide the service of you moaning at me. I'm not really here for that.

Might sound old fashioned, but I'm not really here to provide that particular activity for you. See, I did have a little look on some of the podcast Facebook pages to see what people have posted. See, I posted stuff that's really nice to people.

I never post horrible comments. I always try to post something nice to people. You know, maybe helpful.

I'm just gentle, kind. I don't take out my extreme frustration in life. See the picture of Andre from November 2018.

You know, all the years of my life, all the things I've done, all the things I've touched, all the things I've played with, all the people I've met. Probably the thing I enjoyed most in the world was cuddling Andre, just having him in my arms and just stroking him and cuddling him. And even though he didn't, he didn't want me to do it.

Sometimes you're like, get off me. You're not my real dad. Get off.

But often he would just lie there and cuddle me and kiss me and stuff. Because he knew he couldn't escape really. He just gave in.

And he'd end up falling asleep. But it does sadden me. He used to like my beard as well, because when my beard was bushy, he used to rub himself over my beard.

He probably thought I was another ferret. The amount of videos I made with him, just holding him, making live streams, nearly every stream I ever did, I had Andre in my arms at one point. He just ended up being an image on a video.

I used to like smelling him as well. I think he smelled nice, especially his head. His head smelled nice, the top of his head.

He often had a cold nose. It was almost damp but cold. It was a weird nose.

Nah, I shouldn't have lost him the way I did. That was wrong. Shouldn't have happened that way.

But hey, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't It'd be like, every day he'd be pushing stuff onto the floor. He'd love it. Honestly, he'd absolutely love it.

He could get to the bookcase, he'd push all the books down. Because once he was gone, I could start putting stuff about how I didn't have to be strategic. I didn't have to have a ferret-proof flat anymore.

Which is nice, you know, in a way. Member Requests. There's a Facebook page.

Member Requests. Approve. Ginger Helmsberg.

It says JasonNooner.com Support. I don't remember. Honestly, I don't remember.

Admin Assistant. Oh, no idea. Membership Questions.

Members. I don't even know where that Facebook page came from. Moderation Alerts.

They're weird. Members. Admin.Me. Moderator.Me.

Anna Lynn. There's people I don't even know who they are. Lisa.

From Perth. She must have found that page from somewhere. So I don't remember.

There's like 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 people. You know what? I'm going to let John be a moderator. There's no one on there anyway, so.

But John, if you're listening, you can be a moderator of that private group. Then there's Jason's Patreon group. There's no members of that.

In fact, there's no point in that even being there. Edit. How do I get rid of it? I nearly got rid of Pause Group.

Yes, I'm going to pause it. Lack of Activity. Continue.

Continue. Pause Group. Right, so that'll be gone.

So good. I nearly left Facebook forever the other day. Because I'm thinking, is there any point in me actually being in there? I don't know.

Jason Newland Hypnotist Group. See, I've got 47 members here. And I don't know.

I don't remember setting this up. Who set it up? So Molly is the administrator. OK, if I add Molly as the administrator.

Yeah. People are joining, but I don't know who they are. I don't remember even starting this group.

It's a private group and there's 47 members. So I don't know. They've all been invited last month.

Wow. So Molly Wilson Ferreira invited. I don't remember inviting anyone.

I've not been on there. So I mean, Molly is the moderator. So I've added, I've invited Molly to be the administrator as well.

And what I'll do is leave, leave the group. Because I don't need to be added as group expert. I don't know.

Then I wouldn't have access to it. So I guess I do need to lead to be in it. But there's people I know that I don't know.

There's a few people I do know. There's people that I've never even spoken to. I joined about four years ago.

So it's been going for years. I must have done it. I don't know.

I wonder if I might be going to be able to exercise again. Get back to my Olympic swimming days. I don't know.

Did you know that I love you, baby? Erotic hypnosis. Here's an excerpt of the first recording. And I should just point out that I'm going to say some naughty words right now.

So, you know, if I won't, I just, it's going to be called mutual, mutual, mutual playing. Mutual playing, if you know what I mean. So here goes.

So I'd like you to start playing with yourself and I'll play myself and thank you for listening. Bye. So that'd be the first recording.

I don't know how the second one will go. I don't know if I could be serious with it. Because I'm not an erotic person, really.

I'm a more, I'm more coarse. I'm not romantic. I'm coarse.

I call a bowl of porridge a bowl of porridge, if you know what I mean. I don't, I don't flare it up. It's breakfast.

It gives you a warm glow. Keeps you warm for hours. All day, slow energy release.

Don't you know, it's very good for you porridge. It's a bowl of slop. That's what porridge is.

It's a bowl of slop. Honestly, if some random stranger, you're sunbathing and a random stranger poured some cold porridge on your face while you're sunbathing, you would not be best pleased because it's not appealing. Mind you, if you're sunbathing, you don't really want anyone poured, anything poured on your face there, really.

Yeah, the porridge is sticky. It's, I like porridge. Don't get me wrong.

I've done right. Porridge is almost one of the most beautiful things in the world. It's not, but it's, it can be pretty amazing done.

It's done right. I've only ever done porridge right once. And not once.

It was the same every day. I did it the same. And I was, it was nine, it was 2004 winter and I had a microwave.

And I'll put the porridge in there just the right amount of time with milk and it come out perfect. And I had some raisins on top and it was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

Now, I might attempt, attempt to do the same thing this winter. Maybe have some porridge. And it's really weird.

I just remember the last time I had porridge and I'm just remembering the last burning me tongue. Like what's a weird memory? I've eaten porridge many times and I've haven't burnt me tongue every single time. No.

Erotic hypnosis. I don't know. So, I'm definitely on the verge to break in my record for this month.

Even though I've not particularly been that active, particularly active the last few days. I go through periods. So, current month.

Okay. Current month. I've had 520,858 downloads so far.

And there's still 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31. There's still seven days left of the month. My target is 600,000.

So, easy. Easy peasy. So, 2, 4, 6, 8. Yeah, I'll reach 600,000 within 5 days.

Maybe 4. Last month, I had 458,662. So, I'm already 60, yeah. I'm already 60,000 above last month.

And I've still got, as I said, 7 days left. Now, last month, August, I had 210,000 downloads. The month before, in July, 151,000.

June was 212,000. May, 193,000. April, 177,000.

So, you see how it's grown. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. So, from April, 177, 6 months later, 458,000. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. No, 6 months later, over 600,000.

So, yes, a fair bit more. So, I'm going easy on myself. Because today, I've only had 18,500 downloads.

Yesterday, 19,500. So, to go below 20,000 is kind of rare these days. But, as I haven't been for a couple of days, the day before, I had 26,500.

A week ago, I had 30,306 on the 18th. Yeah, exactly 7 days ago. Which, I do believe is the highest amount I've ever had in a day.

So, I've broken some records this month. Highest amount of downloads in one day, 30,306. Most amount of downloads in one week.

So, I don't know what that was. 160,000 or something. And, most amount of downloads in a month, which would be over 600,000.

So, the first week of the year, 157,000 for the first week. And then, 14,000. 152,000 for the next week.

145,000 for the following week. So, that's a little bit down. Which makes sense, considering I can't remember.

I don't know why it makes sense. It makes sense to me. But, it's not a lot of difference.

And, I'm in the 1, 2, 3, 4th. Only the 4th day of the 4th week. So, I won't be able to do that one until Thursday the 28th.

To work out what the final week is. So, that's alright.

And, compared to, compared to, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la

la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la, la Crazy, absolutely, and so annoying that they did that, especially with someone like me that so loves the stats, according to this I've got 1.

9 million downloads total, which is ridiculous, you know, that's how many I've had since April this year, which is very, very silly, April, so April the 1st, till now, 1,925,225, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, so 6 months and, well, nearly 7 months, April, May, June, July, August, September, so we go back to September, 1,400,004, that's how many I had in September, yeah, in 6 months, 1.

4 million, I'd love to, I can figure, I can work it out, because each podcast has got its own thing, if that makes sense, so I go to each podcast, I can work out exactly how many downloads I've had for, for like the whole period, so, for example, I wonder if it goes for the whole year, the last 12 months, so for the Deep Sleep Whisperer, for the last 12 months, 204,707 downloads, so I'm down to 500,000 for that one, but if I go back, customize, and I keep going back to, oh, it doesn't even go back to 18, brilliant, doesn't even go back, so, yeah, I can see the total downloads, 471,305 for that one, Hypnosis for Sleeping Deeply, 1.

1 million, or 1,154,000, nearly 6,500 downloads today, it's not bad considering I haven't made a recording today, apart from this, I wonder how far that will go back, no, it won't go back any further, so even that won't go back any further than October 2019, so it won't go back further than 2 years, so in 2 years, I've got 1,060,000, but 1.

1 million altogether, if I customize the last 12 months, 760,000 for the last 12 months, but if I go back just this year, oh no, 2021, this year, it is 671,000, blimey, see for that, 38,000 January, 41 February, March 50, April 62,000, May 46, June 53, July 38, August 54, September 123,000, October 163,000, weird, isn't it weird, ah, so what's the other one, what's that say, last 12 months, so this is the Sleep Insomnia Hypnosis, so this year, 34,000 January, February 29,000 downloads, February 22, August 30, September 69, October 76,000 so far, so things have

really increased and become better the last couple of months, so if I look at the stats for Deep Sleep Whisper, so I'll do it again, this year, 12, nearly 13,000 January, 16,000 February, 18,000 March, April 19,500, May 11,500, June 15,500, July 11,000, August 12,000, September 29,000, October 30,000 so far, again, weird, now, Let Me Bore You To Sleep, I bet that's not hardly changed at all, because only 3 people listen to this podcast, so listen, listen, so have a look, so if I go to year, if my baby told me that she cares, so this

is January, 9,000, see, very low, nearly 8,000 February, March 9,000, April 10,500, May 10,500, bit higher than that, June 10,000, yeah, 10,500 again, July 10,500, August 13,000, September 22,000, and 19,500 so far this month, so definitely took a jump in August, 338,000 in all for that podcast on its own, now what about relaxation, hypnosis for stress and anxiety, ah, this is kind of come out of nowhere to be the number one podcast out of all of our stuff, not quite sure how that happened, but there you go, it did, January 43,000, nearly 44,000, February 50,000,

March 74,000, April 103,000, May 62,500, June 68,000, July 45,000, August 70, nearly 76,000, September 168,600, that's a huge jump isn't it, and in October so far 185,749, and 10, so October I'll have over 200,000 downloads just for that one podcast, probably, you know, it's wow, it really is wow, blimey, how strange, where do they come from, so in the last year 976,689, this year 875,995, so I've still got November and December 200,000 each, which is giving me a million for the year, just for that one podcast, over a million, so 875, that's going to be

900,000 before the end of the month, and then another 200,000 in November, so that's 1.

1 million, 1. 3 million plus, just for one podcast, which will take it up to about 1. 8 million altogether just for that podcast, so in January I'll reach the 2 million for this one, all being well, the only other podcast that's of any consequence statistically is the Relax and Sleep Hypnosis Daily, but that's smaller numbers anyway, but I wonder if it's grown the same kind of way, January 9. 9,000, 8. 2,000 February, March 9. 1,000, April 11. 5,000, May 12,000, June 13. 6,000 downloads, July 10. 5,000, August 10,000, September 13.

6,000, October nearly 20,000 so far in October, so that's grown, now there's the Stop Smoking Podcast, it's weird because I did a few, made a few changes and added a few recordings with music, and the stats have gone up from being 20, between 20 and 40,000 a day, 20 and 40, 20 and 40 downloads, in fact more closer to the 30 to 40 downloads a day, to 3 days ago being 196 downloads, then 173, then today 108, it's amazing really, yeah, I don't know what's amazing about it, not much really, 9 listenable episodes, 9, really,

I thought I made some changes, didn't I, oh I didn't, I thought I made some changes but I made no changes, the only changes I made, that's weird, I thought I added ones of music to the other stuff but I didn't, all the changes I made was, I changed the title of the podcast to Stop Smoking Relaxation Hypnosis, and I just numbered them, sort of as part of the thing, how weird, perhaps I should try that with some of my other stuff, do I get anyone listening to the Boring Podcasts, 92 listeners, one download so

far today, wow, if only people realised the greatness that's there, if only they knew, if only they knew, yeah, I just, hmm, yeah I think that's pretty much it, erotic hypnosis, I'm pleased you left, I don't know if anyone, I'm a little bit concerned that people would, that it would turn people off, which is kind of the opposite to what I want isn't it, I don't know, people have asked me to do it, not like I've just come up with it and I've been all pervy, no, I've been asked, so I thought I'll consider it,

excuse me, but I wonder if the Hypnotic Buffet has taken off yet, I can't even find it, the Hypnotic Buffet just hides, there it is, I wonder how many podcast downloads I've had today for that one, I reckon thousands, oh one, ok, one, brilliant, brilliant, great, 535 downloads all in all, 23 in the last 30 days, it's very strange when you consider the difference between that podcast and some of the others, very, very weird, how some podcasts can be completely ignored almost, yeah, there's no other ones, relaxation plan, no that's pointless, what about chronic pain

relief, that's now got nearly 20,000 downloads, 63 downloads, ok, no, what about the relaxation podcast, JJ you may ask, I don't know, I never normally look at it, 153 downloads yesterday, or today, 225 yesterday, 741 a week ago, so yeah people are listening to that podcast, that's good, it's a slow riser, relaxation hypnosis podcast, 53,462 downloads total, 10,000, nearly 11,000 in the last 30 days, it's slow but it's, you know, it's growing very, very slightly, there's another one, I never check the stats for this, perhaps I should, because people do listen to this podcast, Jason

Newland free hypnosis service, 132,766 altogether, but today I had 649 downloads, 562 the day before, so that's grown, yeah, it's grown quite a bit, for the 30 day period, 8,332, and the number one recorded there is number 740, let me put a slip, noisy fanny, from the 1st of November 2021, there's no others to really check, I've checked everything else, the other ones, it's pointless, yeah, how motivating, all about my positive podcast, 0 downloads, what other ones are there, stress and pain relief, I've already looked at that, that was rubbish, well it's actually on it's

own podcast, so yeah, that's it, I thought it was wonderful, really did get a lot of pleasure out of that, it's just amazing, like wow, you know what I mean, wow, okay, so that's it for me, thank you for listening, please remember to be kind to yourself, because you deserve to be happy, okay, do something nice for yourself today, lots of love, bye.