#737 Let me bore you to sleep - BEST DAY EVER - Jason Newland (28th September 2021)

Hello and welcome to Jason Newland dot com. I, me, is Jason Newland and this is let me bore you to sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

Yeah, ma'am. Oh, yeah. So hello.

Hello. How you doing? Or as my old landlady from 1991 used to say, how are you diddling? And where's your bloody rent? You haven't paid it for seven months. Yum, yum, yum, yum.

So yeah, hey, it is Tuesday, the 28th of September, 2021. No, that's exciting. Oh, dear.

I don't actually know what's going on in the world, which is weird because I've seen the news a few times today. A few times. It just seems to be focusing, I don't know, I get, you know, the news is going to be different in different places.

And the only thing that seems to be focusing a lot of focus on the Scottish election. And then focusing on the Labour Party conference. And what other things are they focusing on? R. Kelly being found guilty for something.

And it wasn't for making a bad record because he's made some pretty good records. 12 long was one of my favourite things. There was an album, wasn't it? 12 long, I think.

I didn't realise at the time that he was bragging. And what other things? There's been. I'm trying to think.

Oh, the petrol pumps. And for those that don't know, in other countries, it might have been mentioned. I don't know how much of the English news gets told.

In America or Australia or New Zealand or South Africa or Denmark or wherever. I don't know. And the reason I said England rather than United Kingdom, because apparently.

It hasn't affected other parts of this country like Wales and Scotland don't seem to have followed suit with the panic buying of petrol. According to the news, it's just England that's doing it. So for those that don't know about this, basically what it was, I think Thursday.

I think it was Thursday, maybe Wednesday, but Thursday last week. It was on the news that. I think three petrol stations had closed because they'd run out of petrol and there was a delay in getting the petrol to the petrol station to the petrol pumps, you know, filling them up due to a lorry driver shortage.

So at no point did they say there was a shortage of petrol, like from the source or from the petrol factory, wherever they make petrol. So, you know. They then showed video footage of people of like closed petrol stations and then they showed pictures of huge long lines of cars queuing outside petrol stations, panic buying and then they were telling people don't panic buy, don't panic.

And I mean, you couldn't you couldn't get more ridiculous, really, in a sense of causing and I've heard arguments. Well, the media hasn't caused it. The news hasn't caused it.

Yeah. Yeah, they did. And it's so obvious.

I don't know if they meant to do that. And probably not, but hey, it's given them lots of stuff to film and to talk about. But it's, yeah, it's been I'm not a driver, but everybody's affected.

By a shortage of petrol because it's so it's not a shortage of petrol is plenty of petrol. Yeah, but it's a shortage. It's like saying I was no shortage of bread.

There's just no bread on. There's no bread in the supermarkets at the moment. Got loads in the in the bakery, big massive bakery, millions of loads, no shortage of bread.

Well, where am I supposed to get it from then? So if it's not available where you purchase it, then there's a sort of shortage, isn't there? Let me think. Yeah, yeah, there is. So even my local petrol station last night, I went there.

And I think tonight again. Zero. They didn't have any petrol.

Not last night or today. It's very strange, really. I mean, admittedly, it was like nighttime.

But there's always people getting petrol at night. You know, it's never like usually busy, busy, busy, busy, busy. Like it would be during the day, day, day, day, day, day.

There's always a couple of people, you know, nine o'clock or eight o'clock or ten o'clock. And. It's really strange.

It's almost. You know, I saw a petrol station at the shops up the road from where I live. It's about.

It's about half an hour walk, roughly two minutes in a car. It's crazy, isn't it? And there was a queue outside there. This was pretty sure that was Friday.

I lose track of my days, if I'm honest with you. Pretty sure it was Friday or. But they again today there is a queue.

But they must have had petrol because there's people queuing. So they have done something right. And they're the same people that own the other petrol station near where I live.

So it's still it's still the same people. And I don't know if it's a group of people or business, but they've got about 13 petrol stations around the place. And.

They. Yeah, I'm not quite sure, I think. I think they're probably like Mafia or something.

There's something weird about the set up. So it's strange. Can't quite put me a big toe on it, but there's something a bit unusual about the way it's set up.

And yeah. Something dodgy about them. Which I don't care, to be honest, but there is something dodgy.

So. I just go to my local one when I have to, unfortunately. And.

Yeah, it's weird. And all over the country, petrol stations ran out of petrol. And in the press, the newspapers, I don't read newspapers, but the news and you know, I've listened to a lot of talk radio.

Well, a lot of talk. I listen to it sometimes. I never listened.

I've never listened to it. I don't know why I said that. I've never I don't I don't own a radio.

I can't even spell it. I don't know what it is. Talk radio.

What is that? I don't know. Why did I mention it? I'm not sure. And so I listen to that and.

I hear the arguments both sides. You know, the press saying, well, it's not us. We didn't cause it.

You know, the scaremongering. And it's I can see that their argument is, well, we were told about this situation. We just.

We read the news. We told the public about it. It's the public interest story.

That, you know, three petrol stations has closed down. And there is a problem with the. I don't know, whatever you call it, the delivery process.

Because we've got a hundred thousand shortage of lorry drivers. Now that the lorry driver shortage is a big, it's a big, big thing at the moment. And the government has turned into some kind of political program.

And the government. Because when Brexit came in. The idea why a lot of people voted for Brexit was to get rid of foreigners.

And. Basically, that's that was their thing. They wanted Europeans out.

You know, that's some people that was their main aim. And. A lot of people from Eastern Europe did leave.

And now. Some weren't allowed to stay for, I'm not quite sure what, how it worked. Some had to apply to stay, even though they'd lived here for years.

Because they're allowed to live it just like we were allowed to live there. And because there's so many job opportunities. For English people in Eastern Europe, it's amazing.

What you can do, people in England, they go to Eastern Europe. They'd work there. And then their family in England would send them money.

It's like the opposite way. Because there's not enough money to live. Out there.

So it's. I dated a girl from. I've dated a few European females.

Where was this one from? Romania. And she used to send money home to her mum or to her parents. And I've never had that.

It's something almost. Just is beyond understanding, really, for me. The idea of sending money to my parents.

I mean, I expect my dad to send me money. I'd still get pocket money. Didn't I tell you? I do.

I get two pound a week still. But it's changed because. It's changed because.

You know, when I was younger, I'd get two pound a week. Plus, I would get my comics bought for me. Like at the dandy and.

Look in magazine wizard and chips, whatever. That would be added on. Now I've got to pay for that out of my own money.

Very upset. Never been so angry. So I just.

The new thing, the new thing is. People from Eastern Europe are allowed or Europe. East, just Eastern Europe, because that would be.

Prejudice, wouldn't it? I guess anyone from Europe who's a lorry driver. Is allowed to or has been invited to come back to the UK. Work here.

I have a visa. That ends on Christmas Eve. How petty, how petty.

Like you can work here. But you ain't spending Christmas here, fella. New.

You can help deliver the turkeys, but no turkey for you. New. Get out, get out now.

It's like. You know how hard it is to travel anywhere on Christmas Eve. It's like trying to trying to go to the trying to do a poo in a nightclub.

And, you know, it's like you can't get a toilet. You can't get a cubicle. This is practically impossible.

It's. That's why when I get. When I went to nightclubs when I was a younger man.

I'll just drink coke or water. Because I knew that if I drank a lager. As soon as I had the first pint.

I would be in and out of the toilet all night long. Every 20 minutes. And you can't, it's a queue so long you end up having to go in.

In someone's pocket. I hope they don't notice. You're a person standing in front of you.

It's like being at a concert really. Or a festival. When I was a young man.

Dibbly dibbly doo. Ba da ba ba da bum bum bum bum. Ooh ooh.

So yeah, things have been busy like normal. Been working, been doing, well not working, but working on my stuff. This is.

The. This is the fifth recording of the day. I did a daily.

Daily, what was it? Relax and sleep hypnosis daily. I did a boring objects. I did a deep sleep whisper.

Hypnosis, I did a stress and pain relief podcast. And now I'm doing this so. Five recordings.

I started at seven in the morning. And it's now. Late at night.

I mean that's. Pretty much ten hours. It will be.

Of. Doing stuff, you know, because it takes time to. Well to do the recording, editing, processing and uploading.

That's usually about two hour process for every episode. If not longer sometimes. So yes.

It's quite a long day. I tell you. Oh yes.

But things are going quite well. I've got. Today so far.

Twenty five and a half thousand downloads. So. Which is the best day I've ever had, I think.

Yesterday, twenty four and a half thousand. Which was the best day I've ever had until today. I say best day, but you know, as far as.

Downloads go. But. Very time consuming.

It really is. As much as my teacher used to say, you're getting out for now. You're getting out for now.

I remember saying to her. I was just asking you. If you could explain geometry to me.

You're getting out for now. What about algebra? You're getting out for now. It turned out that.

She'd actually been raised inside a box a whole life. And no one could understand how she became a teacher. Because that's all she ever did is just shout out.

You're getting out for now. Sometimes you stand on a head on top of a desk. Open legs and fart flower.

But she actually already a planted the flower. In the strategic place and a big puff of flower would pop up. You're getting out for now.

That was it. It was a sight. It was.

I mean, it was funny. I was only five years old and it was funny for me anyway. You're getting out for now.

Oh, Jason. I just a question, Jason. Are you really sure that you were asking about algebra at five? Have you not realized I'm a genius? Have you not realized that by now? Surely.

Algebra. My mathematical brain is that of about a ten-year-old. My mathematical.

Okay, not my brain, but my. Skill set. I have a particular skill set and it isn't mathematics.

See, math, maths. We say maths here in America. They say math.

Was it math? Math. No, math. We say maths.

Mathematics. Not mathematic. Which is what math is short for.

Mathematic. Maths. Mathematics.

Aluminum. Aluminium. It doesn't even sound like the same word, does it? Aluminum.

Aluminium. Aluminum. Aluminium.

Aluminium. What other words are pronounced wrongly? Yeah, Bernard. Bernard.

See, if you have someone here called Bernard, we call him Bernard. In America, it's Bernard. My knee just cracked.

Did you hear that? Bernard, instead of Bernard. And the former, the previous, the ex-heavyweight champion of the world, Anthony Joshua. Why is it that no one in America can say Anthony? It has to be Anthony.

Yeah, there's a TH there, admittedly. It's Anthony Joshua. He calls himself Anthony Joshua.

Anthony. It has to be Anthony. No.

No. Why do you think Tony Robinson, Tony Robbins rather, calls himself Tony Robbins? To stop the arguments. There used to be fistfights.

There did. In his very, very energetic seminars, there'd be people from all over the world, people from America and England. And he'd be like, he used to call himself Anthony Robbins, which is his name.

And the Americans would go, it's Anthony. And the English, it's Anthony. And they would fight.

They would chuck fruit at each other. It was terrible. It was.

I still have nightmares, even though I wasn't even there and it never happened. I still have nightmares. Anthony.

No, Anthony. Anthony. No.

Anthony. Anthony. There is no Anthony in this country.

Doesn't exist. Anthony. I've got a friend who's actually called Sarah.

I didn't realise her name was Sarah. I thought it was Sarah, because that's all I'd known her as. Met her parents.

They called her Sarah. They named her Sarah. She decided to call herself Sarah.

She decided to pronounce it wrongly and tells everyone, oh, my name's Sarah. But it's not. It's Sarah.

And they refused to call her Sarah. She's about 60, like me. And they still refuse.

Like Sarah. They won't call her Sarah. I didn't even know.

Why are you calling her Sarah? Her name's Sarah. You're her mum. Surely you should know that.

She was too busy eating the kitty cat. She loves a nice bowl of cat food. She's very pleased.

She purrs. I don't want someone to shut up. I fancied her mum, actually.

She's about 90, and she's a very handsome lady. Honestly, when I met her, and she was probably 100 then, and I thought, wow, you're nice. And I kind of, I shook her hand, but I was very careful, because I didn't want to break her bones.

So I was very, very, very gentle. Very, very gentle. And she stood on my toes.

Apparently that's, where she comes from, that's a way of flirting. That's what I think. Very, oh, she's very.

But my friend didn't find it. She wasn't really very happy with me saying that about her mum. Saying that her mum was attractive.

My mum's married. So? Well, he won't be happy. Well, he's 90.

I'm sorry, there comes a point where men stop being threatening. They're no longer a threat. And 90 is at least that number.

Doesn't matter how tough he was when he was younger. Once you're 90, you ain't a threat to no one. Even Mike Tyson, when he's 90.

Mind you, when he's 90, I'll be 87. He's about three years older than me. Which is crazy.

You think about it, or maybe four years. I was 16, he was 20 when he won the world title. Back in 1986.

November. I do know me boxing. But don't know much else.

But I do know a little bit about boxing. Now you're probably sitting there thinking, oh no, he's going to talk about boxing now. We don't really want to hear about boxing.

But we don't really want to hear about his friend Eva. And how she pronounces her name wrongly and her mum's really fit. We don't want to hear about that.

That was just, no, we don't like that either. But then if he don't talk about that, what if he goes back and starts talking about his stats again? We don't want to hear about the stats. But do we want to hear about the news? No, not really.

If we want to hear about news, or read about news, we just go online or put a television on. I kind of can't win, can I? Whatever I do. Why don't you just send me in the subjects to talk about? Huh? Huh? Huh? Hmm.

And relax. So yeah, it's, I've kind of fallen a little bit for someone. There's this lady that started working, I'm not even going to mention the place because I can't now.

Because someone that works there now knows what I do. And I don't want to, don't want, there's this someone that works at this place that I go to. And she's only just started, but she's, if ever there was a more perfect woman for me, honestly, it's almost like, when they interviewed her for the job, they had my tick sheet there.

I don't know what she's like as a person, but she seems lovely and she's just, just, so I'm going to have, and I think she's married, so that's what my friend told me. You know what? Don't listen to friends. The amount of times that I've been stung by that.

I mean, I started working at this insurance place and I really liked this female that worked there and we got on. And I was, I just stopped being a DJ and I was still fairly confident within myself. That left many years ago.

But, you know, I was still fairly, yeah, fairly confident and able to talk to women face to face. But someone told me that she had a boyfriend, so I didn't do anything. I didn't approach her in that way.

I was just friendly, but, you know, I kind of kept my distance. Then she started dating someone in the office about two months later. She never had a boyfriend.

Then she cheered on him with someone else in the office. And I thought, oh, perhaps there was a, it was just as well that I didn't sort of get involved. But when I met her, I didn't actually hadn't met her.

I was sitting in a canteen. It was like a canteen. There's no food there.

And people just took sandwiches and stuff. And she had her back to me and I really liked her neck. Now, I'll be honest with you.

I've been known. A lot of people know what I'm into. And neck, necks are not the thing.

I've never really been into. I like a neck. You know, you miss it when it's not there.

I like a neck on a woman. But it's not usually a thing. You know, it's like legs.

I'm not really that bothered about legs. I like them. They're handy.

But I don't, I've only ever, when I was younger, I got attracted to someone with legs. Not, no, that sounds wrong. I've been attracted to lots of people with legs.

In fact, probably 95% of the people I've been attracted to have had legs. But this, she was a friend of my girlfriend. And I was sitting in her, in her, this is in a student home.

And I was, we were just hanging around out in her room. This, I forget her name was Michelle or something. And she was tall.

Which isn't really what I go for. I don't generally, not that it makes no difference to me. But I think it can make a difference to the woman.

And I'm being very generalized here. But I'm going from lots of dating profiles that I've read. And the amount of times I've read the woman say, I don't want to date anyone shorter than me.

And I've seen that so many times. So if you see stuff like that enough, you start to generalize. And it's natural to generalize.

But I'm not interested in generalizations. I don't want to meet someone that's, I was going to say that's in the general population. This isn't a prison is it? The only kind of person I can be with is someone that's different.

Very different from like the general kind of person. I guess. And also someone that has, someone that's very patient.

Very, very patient, very forgiving. Very kind and compassionate and loving. And all the things that I'm not.

But what can I offer to sort of make up for that? I don't know. I'm pretty internet savvy. I can make podcasts.

I know a little bit about boxing. So that could help if she's interested in boxing. But that would be good.

I'd like to meet someone that's into boxing. The way I am. I wouldn't want to meet someone, date someone who's like, I don't understand, why are they boxing? Which I've seen a few times.

And I'm like, well, I don't understand why men want to beat each other up in a ring. Why are you saying it? You don't understand. I don't understand lots of things.

I don't sort of post on Facebook what I don't understand. There'd be no room. Imagine if we all started posting on Facebook the things that we don't understand.

I think Facebook would just close down within a week. How are we going to make money? How are we going to make money out of this if everyone keeps posting negativity about what they do not understand? That was my impression of Zuckelsberger, whatever his name is. Zuckelberger.

Amazon man. What's the big players at the moment? You know, I think Mark Zuckelberger is the only one so far out of the big, oh yeah, and Microsoft man that hasn't gone into space lately. Now, what's his name? Virgin man.

He's not a big player in the billionaire world. He's a billionaire, but he's not. He's not like the big, big, big, big players.

You know, like Amazon man, who's at the top. But then you've got electric car man, who's also kind of becoming, I don't know, maybe the number two. Microsoft man is always going to be in the top, probably five, even though he gave half of his, I think he gave half of his fortune away and now he's gone and given another, the rest of the half.

So half of his fortune and now he's had to give half away again to his wife, Belinda, Microsoft man. Mrs. Microsoft man. And then Amazon man had to give away, I think, half of his estate to his, well, Mrs. Microsoft, no, Mrs. Amazon man.

So she's probably the richest woman in the world. I'm guessing. And Zuckerberger, I don't know where he is in the richest, like, category because he doesn't seem to do anything outside.

Well, I'm sure he does, but he's not kind of a show-off like Virgin man, is he? But Amazon man seems to be a bit of a show-off. Didn't he, when he went into space, didn't he said, when he got back down, get back down out of space, you. It's time for dinner.

You're going to have to have a bath. You dirty little monkey. Amazon man.

Apparently he said he wanted to thank all the customers for Amazon customers because you paid for this. Like, and people still use Amazon. That reminds me I need to get some stuff from Amazon.

But I'll have to wait. I'm a bit busy at the moment. What's the other rich? Virgin man.

He's not Pete Stringfellers. I forget his name. But Virgin man, you know, the beardy man famous for looking after his female employees and treating them greatly.

That's that's good. It's a good place to work, apparently. And it's not Ted Danson.

I forget his name. Anyway, I was surprised that more of them haven't done it because there's four done it now. But the fourth one I've never heard of.

He's another billionaire or whatever, but he's he might be famous in America or somewhere. But what isn't mentioned is there are loads of billionaires. I think doing this kind of stuff.

There's a billionaire in China or Japan. I'm not saying that because I don't know the difference between the two. I just can't remember.

I mean, it might be two different people. I'm not saying I'm saying it like they all look the same. I can't tell.

No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying it's two different people, one from Japan, one from China. And I saw documentaries on both of them.

But they both said similar things. I'm not saying that. Or they both sound the same.

No, I'm not. Why are you saying stuff like this? I'm saying that they were talking about the future, how the future is in space, how this planet is limited, has limited resources and we're getting through them. What they mean is he's getting through them because he's the one that's using all it for technology.

Damn technology. Oh, wait a minute. We're using it now, aren't we? I love technology.

I do. I love it. I don't half love it.

I really, really do love it, innit? Yeah. What would we do without the Internet now? Because I watch The Walking Dead as opposed to... Well, what else could you do with it other than watch it? I mean, I think about The Walking Dead. I watch it and it's got to be so boring.

Suddenly you've got no electricity, got no gas, got no food supply, got no supermarkets after the first month or few days once everyone steals everything. I think that's where I'd want to be. I'd want to be living in a department store that was also a supermarket or like a mall, like a huge shopping mall.

I've never been in a shopping mall ever, but I've seen them on telly and they look awful. But I just thought if you need somewhere to hide from zombies and that's another thing, The Walking Dead, no one calls them zombies. Nobody.

Only one person would, wouldn't you? Considering the show is not even called zombies, it's called The Walking Dead. So why hasn't one of them said I was zombies? Because they refer to Dracula and werewolves and all those kinds of things. Why hasn't anyone mentioned zombies? That to me, I just realised that's the bit that I find unrealistic.

OK, fair enough. Good argument. That's the bit.

11 seasons of watching this. I started watching it 10 years ago when you had hair on that bald patch. Do you remember that? Eh? Eh? Shut up about my bald patch.

Now you shut up. Now you shut up. My bald patch is arguing.

My bald patch doesn't actually get on very well with the rest of my hair. I don't understand it. I said, you know, make an effort.

Let's face it, you ain't going nowhere. Can't you just get on? And I think it's the hair, I think the bald patch is jealous of the hair to be honest. And it seems the more jealous, the more they don't get on, the further the hair seems to move away from the bald patch.

Which seems to make the bald patch longer and larger and wider. So I think if I had a friendlier bald patch, I'd have more hair. I've got a grumpy bald patch.

An angry, vindictive bald patch on the back of my head. And it's no laughing matter, mate. It's no laughing matter.

It's not fair. Not fair at all. Yeah, the bald patch goes and then suddenly weird hairs grow out of places that I don't even want to discuss.

You know, I try and push them back in. You know, hoping that it'll pop back out of my head, but no. No, no, no.

Yeah, my chin and my face are full of hair. Never go, I mean, how can we never go bald on our face? Unless that is something that happens in old age, I don't know. But never go bald, like have a bald chin.

Mind you, I suppose it could be worse. I'm moaning about having one bald patch. I could end up having acapella, couldn't I? Lose all my hair.

So I guess I shouldn't moan. So yeah, it's been a it's been a busy day, but what I've noticed what I've noticed over the last probably few weeks let's say this month, let's say this month, OK, just September, doing this seems to be good for my mental health. Making recordings, potentially helping people in some tiny little way.

Being focused on something, growing something, seeing it grow, being busy, I suppose, but having a reason to get out of bed. Having a purpose. But then I've had a I've had a purpose since 2006.

Before that, I guess it was just about getting up and going to work. I didn't have the last time I used to the first time I ever had yeah, the first time I ever had like a purpose to get out of bed. Something I was excited about.

It was probably a date I had when I was eight. Eight? How are you going on a date when you're eight? Yeah, I was eight. I've always liked the ladies.

I have been a big fan of the ladies right from early age. I don't know what it is. I just, I like females.

It's a weird, one of those weird things, I suppose. But I had friends, boyfriends. I had boy I've got to leave a big gap there.

I had male friends. But I didn't have that many female friends at once. I had a few, yeah, I suppose, the ones I would hang out with outside of school.

And as I got older, I had less and less female friends, really. It was mainly male friends while I was at school. Girls didn't really have much success with girls until I was about 62.

Once I hit 62, women were chucking themselves at me. Women were chucking themselves at me. What a mess.

There was limbs everywhere. No, it was good. But, I haven't really, really been successful.

I've had little periods, little periods of, to most people would just be normal, you know. But to me, just little periods of success, maybe. Or a period of self-confidence.

Or a period when I was dating, I was going out and I was dating women that I met. And I felt confident enough to ask them out and stuff like that. It's all well and truly gone.

In some ways, I'm very confident. In other ways, you know, just not at all. And I feel when it comes to ladies, I haven't got that confidence anymore.

And I know some people listening to this might think, surely not, but you're such a handsome... You couldn't even say it without laughing, could you? You couldn't even say it out loud without laughing. That's rude. With your face, how could you possibly be single? Yeah, fair enough, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bilibilibili. So I'm going to order, I ordered a delivery today.

It's not for today, but it's a couple of days time. And I couldn't believe it. I'm ordering it online.

A phony friend, my neighbour says, is there anything you need? I'm not going to have the time to go out. I'm just, this is taking up all my time at the moment. And plus it started to rain.

He said, well, it might not be raining tomorrow. I said, you know, but I mean, generally it started to rain. You know, and I know it's not going to rain all the time, every day, all day, because, well, we'd be in trouble, wouldn't we, I guess.

The drainage around here is awful. Hmm. But I just thought, I'll get a delivery.

So I'm just adding bits, just little bits and bobs, nothing big. Suddenly it's like 74 pound. 74 pound.

That is absolutely crazy. 74 pound. Pft pft pft pft pound.

Too much, mate. Too blimmin' much money. That's the whole story.

I don't know why I even started it. It'd be nice if I could have turned that story into something worthwhile. But I never did, I never did that.

It was just another boring story. But that's what this is about. It's about being bored.

that there's no shortcuts. It's all about boredom. Boredom and being bored and relaxing because you're bored and falling asleep because you're bored.

Oh I'm so bored. Too bored to go to the toilet. Too bored to eat a sandwich.

I'm so bored. Sorry I don't know what that was about. It's a day.

Isn't it weird? Stats alert. Stats alert. Isn't it weird? The last 30 days I have doubled the amount of downloads compared to the previous 30 days.

In fact it's more than that. The last 30 days 415,000 downloads. It's 105% up on the previous 30 days.

Four hundred and fifteen thousand thousand and eight. Don't forget that it. 450,000 in 30 days.

I used to get excited to get 200,000 in a year. To me that was like wow. It still kind of is in a way because I'm not accustomed to this or I haven't adjusted my my brain to cope with these numbers.

415,000. I mean what is that? 400,000 a month. A year.

415,000. Yes. 5 million.

Is it 5 million a year? 415,000 a month. I don't know. Something like that.

Last month. Come on don't do this to me. Last month 210,700 downloads.

That was August. September so far and there's still. That's weird.

There's still two more days left after today. 29th and 30th. I'm telling you that.

The 29th and 30th because it's the 28th today. Two more days. So 408,211 compared to 210,000 last month.

What did I get a month before that? Will you stop talking about the stats? I haven't talked about the stats hardly at all throughout the whole recording. In July I got 151,000. In June 212,000.

So it's a better month in June than July. May, this should be a lot lower because I was on holiday in May. 193,000.

I think June that was when I was on holiday for a week. Which explains why it's less because I didn't make hardly any recordings for a hell week. And then I had a cold so I was ill for a few days after that as well.

April 177,000. March. Oh nothing.

Nothing at all. According to this March I had no. I'll tell you why because they messed the stats up and decided to start doing, redoing the stats from April.

So since April I've had 1,353,916 downloads. So annoying because I've had these podcasts for three years now and I'd love to see how many millions I've added but I can't. So annoying.

I'd love to be able to look at the statistics and see what kind of, just how I'd done you know compared to previous years. Wow you know my podcast Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress and Anxiety. It was my first podcast to reach a million downloads.

Total downloads. Well today I've had 11,694. So basically nearly half of all my downloads have been on that one podcast for today.

Deep Sleep Whisper. Let me have a look. Wow Deep Sleep Whisper 1,536 downloads today compared to 938 yesterday.

I wonder what the top one is. 401 Deep Sleep Whisper focus on relaxing five hours long. The second most popular one the last 30 days is a holiday from stress five hours long.

Third is accept comfort. Fourth is room of comfort. Fifth is free your mind.

Sixth soft and slow movement. Seventh stop talking about the statistics you knob. No tension dissolving.

Focus on relaxing. Eradicating tension. I don't know where I come up with all these amazing names.

It's phenomenal isn't it. I mean maybe I shouldn't say this but I'm quite impressive aren't I. Even to me. Yeah sure.

Sure. Sure. 20 August.

No September. So the 28th. 28th.

Let's have a look. What's the most popular podcasts today. Number 416 Deep Sleep Whisper counting 20 to 1. 10 hours.

And the second most popular counting 20 to 1. 5 hours. Counting 20 to 1. 2 hours. Counting 20 to 1. Just normal without music.

And the fifth most popular. Attention at ease. Dismissed.

That's the Deep Sleep Whisper re-coordinated. Attention. It sounds weird when you say it out loud.

Attention. Attention. At ease.

Dismissed. That's how it goes. Mind emptying.

Try and open your eyes. Hole in your bucket. Hole in your bucket.

What on earth is that about? These recordings I've actually done. And I named them and I can't remember naming them. Hole in your bucket.

So the. So let me bore you to sleep. I still only had 317,000 downloads on this podcast.

967 today. Top 1 over 30 days was number 727. I moved my.

This tells you how boring this podcast is. OK. The top podcast episode was called I moved my desk.

I mean what? The second most popular in the last 30 days. Sharing kitchens. The third one.

OK. I never told anyone this. But this was actually a mistake.

I didn't mean to write this down but I was too lazy to change it. Because I'd already uploaded a few and it would have had to go through each one and change in the title. So it ended up being one of the most popular podcasts in the last 30 days.

Was was when that happened. Instead of that was when that happened. See.

Bit of inside information there. I'm not lazy. My lazy eyepatch.

That's weird. I'm not lazier than my lazy eyepatch. I just did a title that I can't believe I wrote.

Ask Flannel and Tourist Tips. Wow. Pretending to talk to Daddy Newland.

I once had a muscle. Regina unsent me a picture of a toilet. Where.

What was. I was looking at these and just. The lazy eyepatch.

Don't mention the stats. This was a few days ago. Wow.

Being passionate. Safe driving. OK.

So. Full English breakfast and beer. You know what.

It's weird to look at all these different recordings that I've done. Hundreds and hundreds. And I'm realising that they've all been done lately.

These aren't like ages ago. You know I'm going down skimming down and I'm still in August. I mean literally.

Hundreds and hundreds. Why. Oh I'm in Cornwall.

June. This 22nd of June. So yeah I had a week off at the end.

Oh on the 22nd of June I had a week off. Well it wasn't a week off. It was a holiday.

But a week off of sort of really making recordings. I did a couple but that was it. I wasn't doing like three four recordings a day or anything like that.

Oh here's a good title. Whoops. Sorry about that.

Another one. Boom. Boom.

I am peeling. That was the 27th of June. So yeah.

So I went on a holiday. So I did the I'm in Cornwall. Let me boil to sleep.

And then on the 27th I am peeling. So I must have been home by then. I love airshows and slate mines.

This is really weird because that was on the 9th of June. And I go to Cornwall two weeks later and I'm in a slate mine. How ironic.

Don't you think. Michael Jackson's Posterior. What's that for? What kind of title is that? Oh here's one.

This is in July. 9th of July. Ebooks coming.

When? When Jason? When? Where are these ebooks you've been talking about for what 12 years? Where are they? Where are they? Nowhere. That's where. There's a hero.

Number 669. This is 10th of June this year. This is boring for a reason.

Oh man I've just seen one. For those that are still awake. This is number 527.

23rd of October 2020. The title for this one is Naughty Ferret for Sale. Freed to the lowest bidder.

I'm starting to see other ones I don't want to see so that's gone. Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of recordings. I don't understand where it all comes from.

I mean I just wear. It just shows you that even I guess being boring can be a blessing. I don't know.

So I want to go. I have used my allotted time. I shall speak to you again tomorrow.

So remember to be kind to yourself. Before you deserve to be happy blah blah blah. No you do.

Do something nice for yourself. I do have a message from someone. Let me see if I can find it.

OK. Teresa. I'm listening to tonight's podcast and I'm so glad and thankful for whoever requested a night's worth of bore me to sleep.

During the night I have to restart the podcast a couple of times. One another on another reason. Oh another reason that I like you is that you are always learning and experimenting with new things new ways of giving yourself and your time to us that need to be listening.

Thank you Jason. Thank you Jason. Just so you know you help this girl right here get some Z's.

Thank you Teresa. I did reply. Yeah.

The reason what that means just for those who don't know is I started doing even longer versions of the recordings a 10 hour version. So I just thought I'd try and because I've been asked to do that but I just didn't know how. I couldn't figure out how to do it.

But now I have. Now I have. And.

Yeah. I'm all about trying new things as well. I mean the boring objects.

I don't know if anyone actually listens to them. I've had a couple of people say they like them. One thing is I can say 100 percent.

No one else does it like me. No one else. They're very strange recordings.

But. I don't know. Does anyone listen to them.

Anyone. Please. Tell me.

Tell me. Don't keep it a secret. Tell me.

I don't know. So for example let me have a look. I can't see.

Yeah. I'm getting some people listening. Some people.

Some people. Proper raining outside. As opposed to pretend rain.

All right. That has to be pedantic. As opposed to being literal.

Shh. Go to sleep. Good bye-byes.

So that's it. I'm going to go. Thank you very much.

Thanks everyone. Take care. Lots of love.

Bye.