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Hello and welcome to Jason Newland dot com. My name is Jason Newland and this is to let people get to sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.
And the my neighbor is playing quite loud music downstairs so apologies if you can hear that. But I was going to do a recording. I was actually going to do a hypnosis recording but I can't do it with that sound.
That very generously shared sound. So I thought I'd do this. Hopefully, hopefully.
Hi Belinda. Hopefully you won't listen, you won't hear too much of it but um you probably hear less of it on the actual podcast because the microphone's right near me old big old fat gob of mine. But the camera, although I'm trying to get it, it's fairly close to where I am.
Fairly close. I don't want it too close though. I don't want to scare off.
I don't want to break the lens really. So hello. I'm going to stream.
I am streaming this live on Facebook just because I thought I might as well. Yeah. And that's it really.
So I've done three recordings today. Oh get myself relaxed. No, this is my fourth recording today.
Fourth podcast episode. I did a deep sleep whisper hypnosis. I did a, what did I do? A boring objects podcast.
And I did a relaxation or relax and sleep hypnosis daily hypnosis recording. And now I'm doing this. So there you go.
I might have ice cream and chocolate around my mouth. If there is brown stuff around it's chocolate. Okay.
I had a cornetto earlier. Yummy. So on camera, I've got Belinda listening.
Hello Belinda watching. And also hello to everybody that is watching or that's listening on the podcast. I hope you're well.
I hope you're okay. Yeah. So I think this will be the last recording of the day for me.
I'm doing it quite early. It's just gone 10 o'clock in the evening. So I don't normally do these recordings to at least 11, but I'm doing it a little bit early because I just wanted to do it.
I wanted to make a recording. It wasn't really anything I wanted to watch on TV and stuff. So I thought I'd do this and then, then I'd perhaps watch a movie or something later, you know, once I've uploaded this.
Plus doing four recordings in one day, which is more than I normally do, way more than I normally do really. I'm hoping that it's going to be a good day, statistics wise. It already kind of is, but you know, I'm just, I just want it to, I'll be honest, I want to reach 20,000 downloads.
Not today, but by the end of this month, I'd like to have at least 120,000 download day, just to prove that I can do it. I mean, I have done it in the past. I think I had a 25,000 download day once, but that was because I uploaded lots of new recordings that I deleted and I re-uploaded them because I deleted them for a reason and I changed my mind.
So I re-uploaded them. So I had like a 25,000 download day, but I don't normally get that on a, on a normal day, wouldn't have that many. So to have it on a normal day to reach 20,000 would be good.
It'd be better than good. It would be groovy, groovy, groovy, groovy. I'd be very happy indeed.
Oh, so happy. So, so, so happy. So yeah, I phoned up the, and the supplier of my mobile internet today to find out what's going on, because I had an email telling me that they'd taken money for my top-up data.
Top-up data, I have unlimited data. Everything I have is unlimited. I don't do limitations simply because the amount of downloading and uploading I do is way above an average.
You know, I can't, I can't have limitations. I do spread it out. So I've got unlimited data on my phone, which I'm recording on this one.
I've got unlimited data on the iPad. I've also got another laptop with unlimited data on it as well. I've also got broadband, which is unlimited data, but it's slow.
See the new, the laptop's 5G. So that's the fastest out of all of them. The phone is 4G and the iPad is 4G.
So I'm not going to pay extra for extra data. Why would I? So I phoned up and the lady was laughing. She said, what, you know, it's ridiculous.
But apart from anything else, if I go into the app, I'm not physically able to add extra data, a top-up of data on an unlimited data plan. They won't allow it. And I can't phone them up and do it because they'll just laugh at me.
Yeah. A few months ago, I phoned up the same company to sort of say, why are you charging me extra money? And the woman was defiant, adamant that I had done it, that I had ordered it and therefore I needed to pay for it. And I was laughing.
She didn't find it funny. I said, look, I'm not stupid. Honestly, I'd have to, only a really, really, really stupid person would pay for extra data on an unlimited data package.
And then I said to her, I wasn't able to anyway, I wouldn't be able to because it's, you can't, it just doesn't allow it. And she refused to agree with me and said, no, you did it. So I took it higher to her manager.
And in the end, they apologized and they refunded me because they realized, because as soon as I moved away from her, she put me through to someone else. They started laughing at the ridiculousness of it. And they said, of course you can't order it.
And why would you? And then they put me in touch with someone else who could do the changing. And then I had to go through to another department who would do the billing and to refund the money. It was only like 25 pounds or something.
But this first woman that I spoke to was so serious. Honestly, like, well, you've done it, sir. Sure, you've done it, sir.
Like, come on. I mean, I'm not, I'm not a member of MENSA and I never will be. But listen, even I, with my limited intelligence, can comprehend that an unlimited data plan does not need extra data.
It's like if you go into a Chinese restaurant or like a buffet, you know, where you can just help yourself as much as you want. You don't then order an extra bowl of rice. You don't sit at your table and say, oh, by the way, I'd like to order some extra seaweed, please.
Can I pay for that? No, it's a buffet. You can help yourself. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I want to pay for some separate. They'd laugh at you. They would laugh.
Like a free bar. If you went to a wedding, there was a free bar. Why would you go to a wedding that didn't have a free bar? That's immorally, morally wrong.
But if there was a free bar and you go and said, no, I'd like to pay for that, for the drink, please. I'd like a pint of lager. I'd like to pay for it.
More bullets for a free bar, sir. It's a free bar. I don't care.
I don't care. I want to pay. I want to pay for it.
Here's my £3.95. I'd like to pay for it. Well, it's actually a lot more than that. That's weird.
This thing is banging. John's there. Hi, John.
How you doing? How is ya? Are you doing alright, John? Alright, John? So yeah, in the end, I got that sorted out. Which is good. I'm pleased.
But part of one of my packages is getting Netflix free for a year. And the link they sent me didn't work. So what she did on the phone is she deleted the link, deleted my Netflix and gave it to me again.
And the second time the link worked. Oh, magic. Heidi.
Hi, Heidi. Heidi, hi. Heidi, hi.
Hi, Heidi, hi. Heidi, hi, hi. I used to watch.
Does anyone watch Heidi, hi, when I was on telly? 123 o'clock, four o'clock, rock, five o'clock, six o'clock, eight o'clock, nine o'clock, twelve o'clock. Do Heidi, Heidi, Heidi, Heidi, hi. Remember that? I hate listening to other people's music.
It really winds me up. See, I've got headphones. Look at these.
I had some really good headphones and they broke. They snapped. So I bought these and these were cheap.
And they're perfect. They're not noise cancelling. But when you've got music or ever going to ears, you can't really hear other stuff anyway, without music going on.
So if I put them on now and have a look, I can still hear. I can still hear the the annoying noise from downstairs. But with music or watching telly or listen to the radio or listen to an audio book.
I can't hear anything else. It's great. And they were cheap.
They were like 40 pound or 39 pound. Perfect for what I need them for. I don't need expensive stuff like that.
It's just really good. Heidi, hi, Heidi, ho. Right after nine.
Not the nine o'clock news. Really? Heidi, that's a bit late. You used to be on.
I remember being on like Saturday early evening about five o'clock, maybe six thirty seven, something like that. It depends when you watched it. I watched it when it was originally on in the early 80s.
And. I mean, not the nine o'clock news was adult, wasn't it? Heidi, hi, was. Where are you from, Heidi? Are you from the UK? England.
30 years ago, longer than 30 years ago. It's 40, 40 years ago, not 30. Blimey.
It was early 80s. I remember Peggy. She's Peggy.
I'm a blue coat. I'm a blue coat. I did it.
I did it. I'm a blue coat. That was one of the most famous episodes when she finally got her became like an entertainer.
I loved that show. I did. I did.
I loved it. Netherlands, Heidi. So you just had a different time slot.
I mean, hours in in England. I say England because Scotland and Wales had a different TV schedule as well. So I think it was BBC or was it ITV? I don't know.
But yeah, anyway, it used to be on on. I'm pretty sure. Pretty, pretty sure it used to be on on a Saturday evening.
I'm pretty sure. I mean, I'm not going to maybe Sunday evening, but pretty sure it was a Saturday evening because it was it was part of the it's one of the biggest shows on telly at the time. Most watched.
I mean, that was probably around the time of Cannon and Ball. The A-Team. What other TV shows around that time? I guess Dallas, but that would be later in the evening.
Dallas would be on about eight o'clock, 830. The Fall Guy. Do you remember The Fall Guy? With Lee Majors? Saturday, 630.
Belinda. Oh, Belinda. Yeah.
Saturday at six. Do you do you actually remember that, Belinda? It was actually definitely 630 on Saturday. All of you Googled it because I was going from memory as a kind of an average like five, six, 630, something like that.
Belinda said it's 630 Saturday. They still show it now during the day or they did. I don't watch daytime telly anymore, but they used to show it during the day and I think ITV2.
Belinda said, yes, it was. I remember 40 years ago. Your memory's good.
See, I remember it being on and I'm pretty sure I remember it being on it, you know, on a Saturday evening. But then that was the period when we had like Wonder Woman, The Fall Guy, The A-Team, Dukes of Hazzard, a lot of American shows. For British shows, I'm trying to think what kind of stuff, Blind Date, Beedle's About.
No, actually, I guess Beedle's About wasn't around then. It was the show that Beedle, Jeremy Beedle was in to start with. The, oh, I forget the name of it, but Jeremy Beedle and three other people were in this show and it was really good.
And I did pranks on people and it was fun, a lot of fun. I'm trying to think what else used to be on a Saturday evening because back in 1980, I think there was only three television channels. I think 1981, Channel 4 came in.
So there's three channels, BBC1, BBC2 and ITV, ITV. I don't remember what was on BBC2 on a Saturday. I do remember during the week, BBC2 used to show the original Star Trek about six o'clock, 6.30 in the evening.
So yeah, I remember that. I'm pretty sure, and we're probably going back before 1980, late 70s, Monkey used to be on. Heidi says, what about The Young Ones? Well, The Young Ones, that was, wasn't on BBC2.
And that would be, it was midweek. I think it was a Thursday night off the top of my head. So it wasn't the weekend, but The Young Ones used to be on in the middle of the week, and probably about nine o'clock on BBC2, unless it was Channel 4, but I'm pretty sure it's BBC2.
And I guess they didn't think it was going to be a big hit, and it was. Whether or not they moved it to BBC1 after the first series, I don't know. But I would bet at least £3.22 that it was originally on BBC2.
I'm wiggling my finger just to stress that point, I think, I think. And I remember Monkey, this was back in the late 90s, when I moved into that big, scary, smelly, dirty, horrible, damp, no, when I moved into the family home, in about 79, late 78, early 79. I remember I was peeling the wallpaper off in the living room, and Monkey was on telly.
And I don't know if anyone's ever saw Monkey. It was brilliant. For its time, it was great.
And it was this, I think it was Japanese or Chinese, Japanese. I say that like the two, the same country, I know they're not. But for some reason, I seem to think it was a Japanese show.
But it was like I had lots of martial arts and superpowers and stuff. It was very like, he used to go like like that, and whistle into his fingers, and a cloud would appear, and he'd be able to fly on the cloud. It was very realistic.
So I remember that being old. Belinda says I feel old now, I remember Monkey. Yeah.
Do you know, I think it was Netflix, they did a new version of it. It was all right, you know, it was quite funny. It was.
Yeah, it was good. It wasn't the same. But then nothing's the same, is it? It's like Wonder Woman.
And I've enjoyed both the Wonder Woman movies that have been out over the last few years. Like the one that was recent as well, I enjoyed it. And I like her portrayal of Wonder Woman in the Marvel movie, you know, the not Marvel movies, the DC, Superman, Batman stuff.
However, she's not the proper one. She's not the original Wonder Woman, the Wonder Woman that I still dream of sometimes. I just it was something about Wonder Woman that no one could.
Well, to be fair, I think if they'd looked, they could have found if the producers or the casting directors had looked, they could have found an unknown actress to play Wonder Woman, who maybe resembled the original Wonder Woman. But that clearly wasn't what they were looking for. And I'm not sure.
I don't think Wonder Woman, they'd get away with it now anyway. Because of how it used to be classed as Heidi says me. Yeah, exactly.
You that's exactly what I was thinking of doing at you. And send me the pictures. So I, I loved Wonder Woman.
And I learned new things every time I watched it. I've watched it since I was a kid. And I've watched it every now and then when it's been on telly, the, you know, the TV show.
And at the end of every episode, she winked at the camera. It's quite weird, because I was doing something that sounded very similar. And so it's, it was really quite nice.
Watching that. And it's just I don't know, I just loved Wonder Woman. But then I loved the Incredible Hulk.
And at that time, the bionic man, although he wasn't a superhero, he kind of was really, wasn't he? I'm surprised they haven't really brought that back. You know, with like decent, really good special effects. Because I suppose they have done versions of it, haven't they? People are half human.
They did it with Robocop. They did it with quite a few different people like iRobot. He had like a bionic arm, didn't he? I just, they did bring up, they bring back Wonder Woman.
A few years ago with the one of the female stars of EastEnders. And she left EastEnders and she went to Hollywood and I never saw the show. It got an airing and I think they took it off before it even finished its run.
Which I think is a bit rude. If someone's invested in three episodes of a TV show that runs for six, at least have the decency to show the last three. You know, I mean, so many hit shows that now class as some of the best shows ever, were not popular to start with.
Some of them had hardly any audience. In England, I think Only Fools and Horses was not popular at all during its first run, the first season or series. And then it grew and it became one of the most loved TV shows ever in this country.
So give things a chance, man. Well, I didn't like the first 30 minutes. That's it.
I'm not watching anymore. We'll take it off the air, even though we've invested millions in making the thing. I know.
So being Wonder Woman back. I mean, to be fair, if they bought, if they got a TV show of Wonder Woman, they would use a different actress. Or am I supposed to say actor? I don't care.
And so with Superman, they've got Superman in the movies. And they've got the new Superman. The plays in Supergirl, I think the Flash and also Superman and Lewis.
Or Clark and Lewis or something was a TV show recently. And it's the same man who plays Superman, but it's a different person to who plays him in the movies. So maybe Wonder Woman, they could.
Let me cast Wonder Woman. Let me do it. Let me choose.
You'll have the best Wonder Woman you could ever have. It might have to be on really late at night. It might be X rated, but it's still it probably would be very unpopular.
And we have certain parts of the world. But I just like to go back to the old, not everything, because there's a lot of stupid things back then. But I feel Wonder Woman is one of those.
I'll tell you what I like about Wonder Woman. Apart from that, what I liked about Wonder Woman is it was colourful. Everything about the show was colourful.
And I think we got that with didn't get that with the Hulk. The Hulk was quite grey, quite, you know, and Kung Fu. Kung Fu was very one of my favourite programs of all time TV shows Kung Fu.
But again, that was grim. It's very grey, quite grim. Spider Man was quite colourful.
Heidi said snoring. Why? This is interesting. So annoying.
I'm trying to tell you interesting things. And I remember Spider Man. I watched Spider Man, the first movie that I'm aware of.
It was 1978, I think. 1970s. Yeah, about 1977, 78.
And I was so excited to watch it. Seriously. And it was so bad.
But I thought it was brilliant. Because it looks like I've got a wig, doesn't it on my hair like this? Looks like I've like stuck on a bit of a few pubes on the top of my head. But I haven't.
Wow, I really am receding. It's not fair. Thing is like, not only does it look like I've stuck some pubes on my head, looks like I stuck someone else's pubes on my head, which kind of makes it worse.
Sometimes I look at my face. I just think why? Why? Why? You should shave it says Belinda. I've been shaving my head since 2002.
And you know what? I don't want to shave it anymore. You can't make me. I tell you, because I've got a bald patch there.
And ever since I discovered my bald patch, I've not wanted to shave my head anymore. When I had a full head of hair. Heidi says right, it's ganging up on me now.
I want to keep my hair. Heidi says I shaved my head. And Belinda says it looks nice shaved.
So Belinda likes your head when it's shaved, Heidi. I don't mind. I've got no issue with shaving my head.
I shave, I've shaved my head. Hundreds and hundreds of times. But this is the first time in ages I've let it grow a little bit.
Now I'm never good. I mean, I might grow it long. I don't know.
But it's good to experiment. It's just sometimes, like I said, sometimes I go out the house bra-less, you know, sometimes I don't wear a bra. It's just nice to change things around, you know.
And I don't know. I don't want to shave it. I want to have hair.
Most women don't like men without hair, apparently. Mind you, that's what I was told when I didn't have any hair. I've also heard that a lot of women don't like men, they prefer men that are bald.
But I only ever hear that from women when I've got hair. Wow, I think there's a clue there. Hmm.
I don't know. Belinda says they do, which they don't like men that are bald. I don't know.
It's a personal thing, isn't it, I guess. It's just like anything, some people, it doesn't matter what you look like, how much money you've got, what your personality is like, or anything. If you're too short, then that person's not going to want to date you.
Or if you're bald and the person loves long, or even if you've just got short hair and they love long hair. Because I find that a bit weird, because basically hair grows, doesn't it? They like men with shaved heads, Belinda says. I don't know.
Some do, some don't. I think it's one of those. If it suits you, it doesn't suit me being bald.
Doesn't suit me having hair either. I'm in a kind of a bit of a quandary, really. There's no winning.
I can't win either way. All I've got to do is keep it shortish and hope that no one looks at me. And unfortunately, I haven't got a personality to fall back on.
So I can't, I can't. I wish I just, I wish I'd developed some kind of, some kind of shaved heads, shaved heads. I don't know.
I used to shave my head. It used to be a ritual, not like with candles and sacrificing animals or anything, or virgins, not that kind of ritual. It was every Sunday in 2003.
I was working in a call center. And every Sunday I'd have the day off. And I'd watch Superman and the Smallville actually, it was called Smallville, Smallville, The Adventures of Superman.
And I'd watch that. And I'd shave my head with the clippers. That's me shaving, moving my hand around.
And then I would put, I would massage my scalp with this moisturizing cream and it smelled lovely. Ah, it was nice. But I'd do that every Sunday, every Sunday.
And I guess really the hope was that one day I'd get to tell the story. And now I just have. And it does feel worth it.
It really, oh, it feels just to be able to express and tell you, I don't mean express as in milk. I mean, to be able to express myself emotionally and just share with you the story of me shaving my head in 2003. It's all been worth it.
What a stupid story. That's it. I've run out of things to talk about.
Any more questions? Any more questions for me before I go? I wonder what the time is. Laptop just to get an idea. 12 minutes to 11.
I want to know what the stats are. It's crazy, isn't it? All I'm interested in. I'm not even taking notice of the podcast that I'm doing.
So 11,202 downloads today. Yee. So still a few hours left of the day.
Oh, itchy, itchy. So stats. Yes, stats.
I've done the stats. You didn't bore me to sleep. I think watching the stream is going to be harder to fall asleep to because you've got your eyes open.
I mean, you might not have your eyes open, but falling asleep is harder with your eyes open than with your eyes closed. I'm guessing. I've never tried to go fall asleep with my eyes open.
But the podcast, you know, I don't know why I even stream it live. I'm not sure if there's much point, but some people seem to like me doing it. And also I wanted the, thanks Belinda.
Belinda likes it. Thank you. I wanted to try and drown out the sound of that music from downstairs.
And I'm listening now. I thought if I could drown it out by like focusing on the camera and all that stuff, but I don't know. I'm going to have the background music anyway in the other versions of this recording on the podcast.
So you won't really hear the background, any kind of music or anything outside of that. But it's normally it's not too bad, but the other day, I don't know if it was Saturday or Sunday, a couple of weeks ago, I had a headache and all I had was this blare. It was even louder than it is now blaring out all day long.
And I was losing it a little bit, if I was honest. But I had a headache and all I wanted to do is go to sleep. I couldn't, I couldn't have my headphones on to watch TV or listen to music because I had a, I had a headache and I'm like, oh, I nearly ended up knocking on my neighbor's door and saying, can I just sleep? Can I just go to sleep on your bed for a couple of hours just to get away from the noise? And I actually told him, he said, yeah, that'd been fine.
But in the end, I went out for a walk and um, it, it kind of died down in the evening, which is good. So yeah, it's one of those things. It's the neighbor I had before that the lady that used to live down there, she was so quiet, hardly heard her at all.
So I was lucky for the first at least four years. Heidi's just posted something, but I'm not going to read it out loud. Um, it's not, it's not quite that level.
It makes it easier when you know the person's a nice person. It's, it's easier. It's, uh, I heard this saying the other day, well, it's a while back, it's recent though.
There's this reverend in America. He's a motivational speaker, writes books and stuff, but he said something that really resonated with me. He said, it's very, very difficult to hate somebody who you understand.
I don't mean like understand how they talk or language wise, but when you know where someone's coming from, you know where they've been, you kind of know a little bit about them. It's harder to hate them as opposed to if there's someone moves in and they're blaring out music and you don't know them, you've never met them. It's easy to get, you know, really angry and stuff.
But if you know them and you realize, well, actually it's a nice person. I think it's just, uh, it's harder to get, you know, all angry and stuff. Besides, when I finished this recording and uploaded it, my headphones are going to be on, so I won't hear anything anyway.
I will watch myself a movie or maybe watch something on TV. I don't know. Well, I might just go to, well, I can't go to bed while that music's on, so I'll have to wait.
I mean, I don't know. The brain cells might kick in at some point. You think, oh, I mean, it's 11 o'clock at night.
Perhaps I should turn it down. But you don't know. You don't know how people's brains work.
So you don't know. So I'm never going to guess. I mean, normally I'd have the window open because it's still fairly nice day, nice evening, but I can't have the window open with that.
And also because their windows are open, which means the noise is, the sound, I've got to stop using the word noise, the music is getting out of the windows and then traveling through my windows. So it's loud inside and outside. So I'm getting it from like both angles.
That seems logical to me, but I don't know if scientifically it could be proved. I don't know. Oh, I'll turn this chair around for a second.
Oops. Blimey. Oh, I'm going to move the iPad just over there so I can look at it when I need to.
Yeah, it's working. So yeah, I'm just, are they having a pie? I don't know. I don't know.
I think some people play music when they're doing something they don't want you to hear. The thing is, I know that the music's really loud because the sound doesn't really travel that well. So it has to be maximum, really quite loud, turned up loud for me to hear it at that level.
So I can hear it just about, but to them, it's probably got it up quite loud now, but I can only just hear it. So they were blasting it, which is just, it's, it is what it is. It's nothing compared to what I've been through in the past.
I've had to deal with some pretty awful situations. So this is a picnic. It's a picnic.
So, you know, I'll have a little moan about it, but that's it. That's as far as it goes. I'm not that bothered.
It comes and it goes. I'm not here forever. I will, I won't be living here forever and I will move somewhere where there will be no music other than my own at some point.
One day I'll have a nice, I might be 95 by the time it happens, but then it won't matter because I'll probably be half deaf anyway by then, if not fully deaf, so it won't matter about noisy neighbors because I won't hear them. In fact, this would probably be the best place to live somewhere where there is noise because it wouldn't bother me. But then imagine, I remember my, my Nan's brother, and I stayed over, it was a Christmas, I think it might be 90, 2003, I think Christmas 2003 or 2002, one of them, but anyway, our brother stayed over.
Okay. And her brother was, I think he was older than her, but there wasn't a lot in it. So she'd go to bed and I'd always kind of go to bed when my Nan went to bed.
Just, I don't know, it just seemed like the right thing to do. You know, she's going to bed, I'm not going to sit in a living room watching telly and, you know, she went, so I just go to bed the same time. I'd have an early night, didn't bother me.
And, but he, even though he had the room, he had a big room, actually, there was two double rooms. It's an old, the old house that I used to live in the original, the small house, three bedroom house, but I was sleeping in the small room where I always used to sleep when I stayed over. But he was downstairs watching telly till early hours of the morning.
And he honestly, his, his hearing was like very small. And it's so loud. He had the TV up so, so loud.
So I'm planning to do that when I'm older. When I'm older, I want to move around, even if I don't have to, even if I'm financially stable and fine and don't, you know, got my own place, I'm going to rent rooms specifically where these young people live in and may and have the TV up so loud. So because I want me to hear otherwise that was so loud.
And just to do, it sounds wrong, just to do to all those young people, what's been done to me over 30 years, the amount of disruption my life's had, I want to give it back, pay it forward. That's what I want to do. Yeah.
Take my 875 inch television with me wherever I go. Massive booming speakers and stick them outside the window. Yeah, brilliant.
I got a lot of plans when I get older. So you want to get a disability scooter. So I'll be on the pavement.
And whenever there's anyone a car paved and parked on the pavement, I'm going to drive right through it and scrape, scrape the side of the car as I try and get through. That's my plan. That's just, that's vindictive.
No, it's funny. And if you park on a pavement, I do believe you're not supposed to. But if you park on a pavement, you're basically flipping off anyone that's disabled and has disability issues.
Because what they're supposed to do, walk in the road, someone or someone that's on crutches or someone that's got a walking stick, like an elderly person or anyone of any age walking stick or somebody in a wheelchair, they supposed to go in the road. Is that what that's what's supposed to happen? Wait a minute. I thought that's where cars lived in the road.
So yeah, I'm going to scrape the sides of as many cars as I can. Only those that are parked on the pavement, not not any other situation. And yeah, I'm not going to just be out making criminal damage.
But I guess there will be because I think it's probably still criminal damage, but I look forward to doing it. And I'll be old. Belinda says young guy, you're going to be a Victor Meldrew old man.
Love it. I'll join you. You know, I think I already am a little bit.
I already am a little bit a bit of a Victor Meldrew, a grumpy old man. I think it's not so much grumpy, but I've got to the point where I'm starting to really tune into the fact that this what about 7 billion people on the planet. So why am I bothering with any kind of stupid people? There's no point.
There's billions out there. There's no point giving attention to any one particular person. If they're being rude to you, or if they're trying to rip you off, or if they're just not nice.
There's no point. Carol says, Where am I from? I'm from England. Oh, got itchy testicles.
Sorry about that. Yeah, I'm from England. Heidi says, I already got the music back on.
Brilliant. Thanks. I walk with a stick.
People don't give a fuck. Yeah. Well, I do.
I like to. Or do I? Hmm. I think I remember once I saw this, this man.
This was during the snow. And there was snow on the ground. And I think it got to the point where it was ice.
So it wasn't just snow, it's ice. And there was this elderly man with two walking sticks. And two bags are heavy while they look heavy bags of shopping.
And I thought to myself, I wonder why no one's offering to help him. He was trying to cross the road. And I just carried on with my business.
You know, I did wonder why no one else is helping. Yeah. So Carol says, I'm in Scotland.
And put a Scottish flag. I do know what Scotland is. Can you imagine if everyone who tells you where they're from puts their flag of their country? That's honestly, you're the first person who's ever done that.
Out of all the 1000s of people that I've spoken to that tell me what country they're from. Never had anyone put a flag. Wow.
Yeah, I'm I'm from England. But I don't know. I don't I can't type anything.
So you just have to imagine a Union Jack or I don't know which one is the right one now. So Union Jack or the what's the other one? The one with the cross? I don't know. Yeah, I used to I lived in Scotland for a little while when I was a kid for a very tiny period.
But I've never been back never visited. I'd like to because it's a beautiful country. Like to go.
I don't feel I want to climb Ben Nevis or climb any mountains though. Unless there's a train that goes up there. Like with Wales, you got the train that goes up.
Wales is Ben Nevis. Belinda says I'm from Cornwall. So my flag has a pasty on it.
I wonder what one from Essex. So I wonder what the flag would be what would have a flag on air in Essex just a picture of some dumb people I guess. I don't know.
And what's the name from the only place Essex the the large blonde lady. I forget her name because she could be like representative of Essex. You know, it's really stupid.
Okay. Well, you said pasty didn't you? pasty? pasty? What did I say pastry had a pasty on it pasty. Yeah.
I Gemma Collins. That's it. Gemma.
My name is Gemma Collins. You know, it's weird about the only way is Essex. And I think that's a like an internationally popular program.
People all over the world have watched it. And they talk about Essex like it's a little village. Essex is one of the biggest counties in England.
It's huge. It's a huge county. There's a lot of people live there.
Millions live in Essex. And the idea that it's this little village and people from Essex when they go on television and say, Oh, yeah, but in Essex, we're this is how we are in Essex. We like to be you know, on a Friday night or Thursday night like to like chill out and chillax and watch Netflix.
Like, in Essex we do. So you talking for everybody that lives in Essex? Every female or every man that lives in Essex? I live in Essex. And I don't know anyone like that.
I've met people like that. But I don't know. It's not typical Essex.
That's how Essex people think they need to behave. Because they've seen it on telly. And that's a different part of Essex.
There's a certain part of Essex that is a little bit like that. I'm looking for my fingers before they disappeared. But Essex isn't anything like the only way is Essex.
Now Chelsea, whatever Chelsea, there's the only way is Chelsea or whatever. It's just a small, small area. It's a part of London, isn't it? It's not small, but compared to Essex, it's a tiny little part of London.
So you could say well, if, if it's a rich area and people in, but then even rich areas, okay, if you don't live in London, or if you've never been to London, or if you live in another country, you don't know this. And it's probably the same in other parts of the world as well. You can be living in like a 2 million pound house with a big pavement or sidewalk, sidewalk, if you name it incorrectly.
And it's lovely, nice trees, all the houses in your road are really nice, all big, some are worth more money. You know, so they're all multi million pound houses. Get to the end of the road, which takes probably 30 seconds.
Council tower block across the road, bookies across the road, kebab shops, all the stuff associated with the more common person, you know, the more not the affluent people. So you might have an affluent lifestyle and live in a nice house, and have a nice car and stuff like really expensive car. But as soon as you come out your road, your little cul-de-sac, you're back where everyone else is.
So there's no safety really, you're not, it's not like it's, I mean, I think you can get private roads and stuff like that. What do they call them? Communities, gated communities. Now that appeals to me.
But that I'd want to live in a gated community that kept the rich people out. Just, just for me, us common council people, because I'm a council, I live in a council flat. So I'm one of those people that would live in a council block.
And I have. In fact, I was, I brought up on a council estate in Newcastle, from the ages of probably two years old, to about five and a half, something like that. So at least three years, I was living in a council estate in Newcastle.
And I lived in a, I felt I moved around a bit, but I remember one place I was living in a big top of a high rise flats. Because one of my mum's boyfriends used to dangle me out of the window by my ankles. I wonder why I've got a fear of heights.
Let me think. So he thought it was funny. So I, I've lived in many council places I've lived in.
So I imagined, I don't know, but I imagine I was born in a council house. But I might not have been, but I'm guessing it was a council house. Where I was born when I first lived in, you know, so when I was first born, because my parents had two older, they already had two kids.
So in those days, it was council, just it was quite easy to get council places. And then I moved and I was fostered. They probably had a council place because in them days, people didn't own their own houses much, you know, in the seventies, you know, some people did obviously, but it wasn't such a big thing.
You know, it's more councils. Yeah. So council property was the big thing back then.
So I probably lived in a council place there. And then I moved. So I definitely lived in a council place in Newcastle.
And then I moved into a council place. When I first moved back to my dad's, then I moved to another council place. And it was a council estate that was still being built when we moved in.
And then I moved to, then we moved to his house. And then I moved to a council. I lived in a council flat for a little while in Stratford, London.
And then we were friend. And he passed away actually, when I was living there. His girlfriend played my cooking, but I don't agree with that.
And then I lived in a council house with a friend. We got evicted from there. And then I moved here.
So I've lived in at least eight council properties since I was born. This is the only one that's been in my name, my name. But yeah, that's it.
That's the end of the recording, man. So yeah, I'm gonna go on a, I'd like to, there's a few places I want to travel, but I'd like to go to Scotland. I'd like to go to, I've been to Wales a few times.
I'm not that bothered. But I would like, just in the fact that I've been there, but I would like to go back to Wales. But I want to do it properly.
Because the only times I went to Wales was either camping, which is a wrong, wrong on so many levels. The other way is I stayed at my friend's house a couple of times. Once actually shared a bed with him, because his girlfriend kicked him out or something, I don't know.
So I ended up sleeping with him for the night. But I went down there to help him with some training, some hypnosis training thing. This is back in 2000.
And 21 years ago. What? Helping people with training 21 years ago? Yeah, I know. I'm a legend in it.
Blimey time goes. And then, yeah, so that was that. So if I went to Wales, I'd want to stay in a hotel.
If I went to Scotland, I'd want to stay in a hotel. I basically just list a lot of places that I'd want to stay in a hotel. Or a caravan.
Now I don't mind, I quite like caravans, but it'd have to be a real nice caravan. I ain't camping. Never again.
No, no, no, no, no. I've tried it as an adult, didn't like it. Didn't like it as a kid, didn't like it as an adult.
No, not going to happen. And no, not doing it. I'm not, I'm not an outdoorsy person, if I'm honest.
I'm not really. I like, I like, I guess I like the comforts of home. I suppose.
Yeah, I like being indoors. I don't want to stay indoors all the time. But I don't.
For me, I prefer to be in a house with a conservatory that I can open the windows and sit maybe on a veranda outside or patio on a nice summer's evening and then move back in when it starts to get cold or if it rains. Maybe still have the doors open if it's raining, but I can sit inside the conservatory and read a book and smoke my pipe. Whatever I'm doing, you know.
So outdoors, I like the outdoors. I just don't want to, I don't want to be out there. I don't want to live outdoors.
Even if it is just for a week or a weekend. You know, no. Thanks, but no.
But I do, I'm starting to think I'd quite like to travel. I never wanted to before, really. I did once.
In 94, I decided I was going to travel through Europe and I was going to save up. And then I broke my hand and I had probably four, five weeks off work. And I don't know, kind of messed up my plans in a sense of financially, it took a while to get back from that sort of five weeks of not earning any money.
So, and I kind of, then I just, because I think I was planning to go in that summer, try and save up a few hundred pounds and then go abroad. Just go traveling and hopefully get some work and stuff. Because I would have been 23 at the time.
But it never happened. Although I did go at the end of, I think September 2004, I did go to Ireland for about five or six weeks. So that was good.
Well, not all good, but I have talked about it, but it was, yeah, it was interesting. And I wouldn't change it. It's one of those things that I wouldn't change.
I'm glad I did. Kind of wish I'd stuck it in a way, like stayed there a little bit longer, got a job, because I was looking for a job, moved into the place that Andre, the original Andre, not my little Andre. He was, because we were going to live together and we was going to, you know, set up home, not set up home together, but, you know, live in the same place.
And I don't know, I just, I had a thing for his cousin, Nicola. I really liked her. I fancied her.
I liked talking to her. I just really liked her. And one night I saw her, she was kissing some man and she didn't know I liked her.
I never told her, but that and a couple of other things, it just, that's it. I moved, I just, I'm going. Didn't give them any notice.
I just phoned up, phoned up the ferry, said, when is there, let me book a ticket and said, see everyone, bye. Bye bye. Bye bye.
And that was it. And came back to London. Kind of wish I hadn't, but you know what? If I'd have stayed in Ireland, what would I have done? Would I have, would I be here now? Not, not would I be alive? I mean, you don't know do you? But would I have gone down? I wouldn't be doing this.
I don't know what I'd have been doing, but I might just be sitting in a pub, just drinking, which is kind of what I was doing when I was over there. There wasn't a huge amount to do for me. And that's not saying anything against where I was living.
Cause it was a beautiful place. Ireland is a beautiful country. And you know, so green, it's beautiful.
But when, when you've lived in London, where there's always something to do, always something to do. Like there's always a, I'm not a nightclub person, but there's always nightclubs to go to. There's always cinemas to go to.
There's always pubs, restaurants, comedy clubs, theatres, events, you know, parks, zoos. You know, there's so much to do in London. If you're bored, you know, if you kind of want to do something, there's always something to do.
But I didn't find that in where I was staying in Ireland. I didn't drive. So I was reliant upon getting lifts because I think there was a bus every three weeks.
Honestly, the bus, it's just ridiculous. So I used to get a lift. I remember once I got a lift and Andre had to sit on my lap in the back of the car and he was, his mum was driving and I think his auntie was sitting next to her or his grandmother was sitting next to her.
And his auntie was, his two aunties were sitting next to me in the back. So Andre sat, they picked him up, he sat because he was just walking. I think he was on his walking on his way to town.
This is halfway through. So anyway, he came in, he sat on my lap and I said, Andre, have you lost weight? And so I thought it was funny because the only reason I think he'd lost weight is if he regularly sat on my lap. Like you feel lighter.
You didn't feel this heavy last time you sat on my lap. Um, they didn't see if the funny side, I guess it wasn't funny, but to me it still seems quite mildly amusing. Maybe, maybe not.
I don't care. I don't care. Where am I gonna go.
Take care everyone. Lots of love. Bye.
Bye bye.
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.