#714 Let me bore you to sleep - SHARING KITCHENS - Jason Newland (30th August 2021)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let me bore you to sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

So thank you very much for listening and all that stuff. Hope you're well. Hope you're groovy.

Hope you're oo-oo-ooey. Gooey. Gooey and groovy.

Sorry about that. Oh, aching a bit. All of my right, um, like my shoulder, collarbone, right chest area.

It's just aching a bit. It might be because I was moving some furniture around. Could be.

In fact, that's probably what it is. Thinking about it. It's just a bit sad though that I can't move furniture around without causing myself damage.

So old. I'm so old. I remember when I could literally just jump over a fence and and practically just outrun cars and fly through the sky.

I used to be able to jump over buildings and then, oh wait a minute, that was Superman. No, but I used to be pretty, pretty, pretty agile when I was younger. But then I suppose everyone was, wasn't they? I guess.

Even like pulling muscles. I pulled muscles. So I would do karate and I'd maybe be at school and I'd do a high kick or jumping high kick or something.

Jumping round kick and because I hadn't stretched I'd sort of like, ow, that hurt. Then the next day I was fine. I might hobble around for a little while but then I was fine.

Now that's like three years in a cast. It's a little bit of an exaggeration but you know. So yeah, the desk I've got, I've put it, got it set up with my microphone and with my iPad and I've got my Rodecaster but that's not working properly with the MacBook for some reason.

I've got it all set up, record but there's a over it. I don't know why. God, that's hurting me.

Ow. It's weird. Let's see if I could get myself a little bit more straight.

That's a bit better. And I've got this chair that's supposed to be good for my back but I'm not sure if it is or not. I just don't know.

So I'm trying to figure out the solution for the volume without doing it in editing and it might be simply because I need a booster. And I've been looking at it. I can actually tell you what it is if I still go on my system.

Oh, where is it? No, it's gone. I did have it. It's gone now.

Never mind. So it's basically it boosts the volume of the microphone, makes it clearer, makes it a better sound. But that's another 140 pound or something.

So, yeah, I'm not going to get that just yet. Nothing's free. Why isn't anything free? It's not fair.

I just want free things. Everything costs money. Money, money, money, money, money.

All the time. Money, money. But apparently it's really good.

So I might. I mean, when I bought the microphone, it actually said that a lot of people buy it with this thing. But I didn't know what it was.

I thought it was what I already had, but it's a different version. But it's not. It's a completely different thing.

So that will probably be what I'll look to get next month. Probably at some point. But it'd be good to have it because I need it.

And if that increases the volume, it's just saved me a lot of hassle. It really, really would have done. And I'll be so pleased.

So pleased. Like, really, just because the volume was higher. So I don't know what's happened.

I've not done anything to the microphone. I've not changed the equipment. It's all been, it's all exactly the same as it ever was when I first got the mic.

But now it's just not doing what it needs to do. So it will be fixed. It will be.

It will be fixed. Yes. So the other desk I've got, which is identical to this one, I think what I'm going to do is put it behind me.

So I basically have my chair and I can just turn around and work on the other desk. So I'll have the two desks with the chair in between. And I think that's going to suit me quite well.

In fact, just about perfect. Just about perfect. So that's, I think, I think either that or I'll have it in front of the other desk, which means just moving the chair around.

So you know, you know, like when you have two desks, one in front of the other, so you can actually see the person on the other side of the desk facing you like that. I've worked in offices like that. So I might have it like that.

So because I've got another chair that I can, it's always the other side as well. So I might do that. And that could work out really well.

Actually, thinking about it, that's probably a better way of doing it. Because I put the desk the other side, it's going to get in the way of the punch bag. So yeah, I need to perhaps not do that.

I'm also looking at getting rid of the bookcases. Because it's really shabby. But then where do I put the books? You know what I mean? I don't know.

I mean, some of the books I don't read. Some of the books I'm not going to read. But there's some books that I am going to read and some that I need for reference, such as the hypnosis books and stuff like that.

So quite like, if I was going to be staying here, I mean, there's no plans to move, unfortunately. But if I was going to be staying here, I'd probably try and get some decent bookcases, you know, some nice ones that will not fall apart. You know, ones that are already assembled.

Proper oak. No, I'm not that bothered. I'm not an expert on wood.

But just something that's sturdy and it's already fitted together. So it's not a hash job for me trying to put it together. Because the ones you put together, well, the ones I put together are just flimsy.

The back is cardboard and blimey. Or hardwood, but it's still flimsy. I need a proper, proper bookcase, ideally one as high as the ceiling.

But that's not going to happen. But at least just a decent one where most of my good books can go. Just one big bookcase.

I've seen one that I quite like. But that's going to be the future. It's not anytime soon.

But it would be nice just to have all the books in one place. And then if I get, if I continue with my book collection, I can get another decent bookcase, you know, like a year later or two years later or something. There's no hurry, really.

Not really. I just like to make this a bit more tidy. I like, in a way, I'm a very messy person.

But at the same time, I like order. So I like to be able to have everything in one place or have it know where everything is. So I want my iPad to be one place.

I want my writing pad. Let's say I've got a writing pad and I'm writing something. I want that to be in one place so I can go back to it.

I like to eat in one place. I like to have a table to eat at, not a table where I'm doing stuff to move stuff around. This sounds very similar to yesterday, doesn't it? Very similar indeed.

I know. I know. When you're talking about moving stuff from the table before and you didn't like it, you don't want to do it anymore.

That's why you got a new table.Me, me, me, me, me, me. Yes, yes, yes.

Yes, yes. So yeah, it's Monday, the 30th of August. I don't know what it is about this month but it really seems to be dragging.

It's really dragging. It's, I don't know why. Probably because it's a long month but I don't know.

Something about bank holidays. I don't really like them anymore. You know, everything's closed.

You can't get a bus. You can't go anywhere unless you've got your own car, of course. I just, yeah, it's not that I want the summer to be over because I don't.

But as far as the summer goes, it's just been a bit of a non-entity really. We've had hot days, had some nice days but it's not, it's not been like, you know, every day's been nice for a whole like two weeks. That kind of stuff.

Not where I live anyway. But then, you know, I suppose I can't really complain, although I will, but where I live it's a very kind of non, a non-plus place. It's a non, we don't have it really much in the way of extreme weather.

I'm talking about my particular area. You know, I'm lucky there wasn't really much in floods here. When the floods hit kind of the whole of Europe, was it last month or the month before, this, we had a little bit of flooding but literally just a tiny, a little bit, but nothing really where I live that was too like dramatic.

One road flooded but it always floods. You know, a bit, a bit too much rain and it floods. And everyone that lives there in that part of the road, their houses are higher up, so they've got the, their dry roads are almost like little hills.

And they move there knowing that. They know it's a flooding area so no one can really complain. And it never gets too high because it's got a ditch.

Are they dykes? They're dykes, aren't they? The ditches around fields. So because there's fields out there, the dykes normally take care of the flood water. The dykes soak up the water, I think, but also provide water for the fields as well.

It's kind of a double thing, I guess. Stops flooding. Mind you, I think the dykes actually cause flooding personally.

That's just, you know, because they get full and then they overflow. If they weren't there, they wouldn't get full. Yeah, there's some logic there, I don't know.

It's been proper windy in parts of America. I hope everyone's okay that's listening. And places that I think don't normally get hurricanes.

So how do you prepare? I mean, if you live in a hurricane area where you have hurricane season, then I guess you'd be prepared and you have cellars and whatever, you know. If you choose to live in a place like that, then you'd be prepared for it. But those that aren't prepared for it, the people that live in places where hurricanes aren't the norm, it must have been complete shock.

I mean, it was on the news that over a million people without electricity and stuff like that. It's like, wow, that's a lot. It's a lot of people.

I know it's a tiny percentage of the population in America. But still, if you think, if it was a year, that'd be a day without electricity. They might think, how does that work? We've got about 365 million people, 360 million people in America, 365 days in a year.

So 1 million would be like one day of the year without electricity. And that's a lot, a whole day without electricity. That made sense in my mind as I said it, but it probably doesn't.

I don't know. Seem to make sense. And I know what it's like to be without electricity because this country, you've had a lot of, over the years, problems with electricity.

So there's been at least three power cuts in my area since I've lived there, whole building went down. And once there was, my neighbor, a female downstairs, was telling me how much she liked me and we should get some, cook some dinner tonight and all that stuff, like have a nice night in. Then electricity went.

So we went downstairs and to see what's going on. And she ended up going in her own flat and I didn't see her again. Well, I did see her again, but not that day.

It's like, damn you electricity. So I know what it's like to suffer. So yeah.

Before I moved here, we used to have electric electricity cuts where I lived before as well. And it was a house kind of in the middle of nowhere. There wasn't, I mean, it wasn't in the middle of nowhere.

There were other houses, but it was on the way to countryside. It wasn't far from the countryside. There was a huge park opposite.

And weren't a lot else there, but it was a very busy road, lots of traffic, lots of lorries, etc. But that was, we had some power cuts there as well. And I think that's the first time I realized that I can't get by without the internet.

I can't, I can't get by without it. Now, back then there was no streaming. You know, streaming wasn't really a thing back in 2006, 2016, no, 2016.

Blimey. No. Really? Yeah, too blimey.

Wow. It's 2021. I can't keep my head around how quickly time goes even though this month's really dragging.

Every other month's gone really quick. The years go quicker than the months. Which doesn't make any sense.

So 2006, 2007, you know, if there was a power cut, I'd just be sitting there. Like, okay, well, the laptop's still working because, you know, this still is charged. So it's fully charged.

What am I going to do? I didn't have any videos to watch. I couldn't, you know, couldn't use the internet to watch YouTube. Couldn't do anything because the lights were off.

So I didn't have any light, couldn't make videos, couldn't read, couldn't watch television, of course, couldn't do anything really apart from just sit there. And it's kind of sad, isn't it really? The reliance upon electricity. But then I suppose if you, I don't know, it used to be exciting when I was a kid.

Because when I was a kid, we used to have strikes, electricity strikes, where the electricity board would go on strike due to whatever ailed them. I don't know whether it's pay disputes or whatever. I don't know, I was a kid.

I didn't really understand. All I knew suddenly I was in this big house, and it was pitch black. And it was kind of exciting.

Because there's a lot, I wasn't there on my own. So there's me, my three brothers and me parents. So there was enough of us to, I don't know, it's just exciting, like get the candles.

Because anyone that lived through the 70s, the amount of strikes and power cuts was so regular. Everybody had candles. You know, and also anyone that'd been lived through the Second World War, they just always had candles.

Because they'd lived through the the blackout, you know, when everyone had to turn the lights off. And they lived through that. So people like my grandparents always had candles, and they passed that on to their kids as well.

So there's always candles. And I quite liked it, it was quite cosy. It was cold.

Because you know, no electricity, no heating. But wasn't it gas heating? Makes no difference, you need electricity to run it. Huh? Yeah.

So it's a bit silly really, I've got gas, gas heating. But it means nothing. You can't have hot water.

Nothing. You can have hot water if you've got a gas oven, and you're willing to use a match to light it. Then you can, because the clicking doesn't work, because that's electric, isn't it? It's to cause the spark.

So you can do that and make hot water there in a, if you've got like an old fashioned kettle, which I don't think many people have, but in a saucepan. I've lived in a few places where you had to use matches to light the oven, or to light the hob. Because the electric, it was run out, or just didn't work.

You know, the cooker was so old that that part of it did not function any longer. I've lived in some really rubbish places, I really have. I really have.

This is one of the better places, in some ways. In some ways it's awful, but in some ways it's one of the better places. Because I'm not living with anyone, which is good.

I'm not sharing, by that I mean I'm not sharing a house. I'm not having to share a bathroom, or a kitchen, or a fridge. Blimey.

The amount of times sharing a fridge, that you come down and half of your stuff's gone, or it's been moved, or someone's put their raw chicken on top of my bread, or my slices of meat, or something, you know, like dark and eat. Like you don't put raw raw food. This is the law.

This is the health and health and safety hygiene law. Raw food, raw meat rather, goes at the bottom of the fridge. Doesn't go in the middle, doesn't go at the top, definitely doesn't go at the top, goes at the bottom.

But the average person doesn't seem to know that. I would have thought it was really, really, really simple. But I guess we know what we know, we don't know what we don't know, do we? So I learned that from going to catering college.

But it seems quite obvious, when you see, you know, blood dripping from something onto other food, that maybe it's not a good idea to have it there. But then I guess if it's not your food is dripping on it, I suppose it doesn't matter, does it? If you're that way inclined? Yeah, sharing a kitchen is not something I really enjoyed. I don't know what was worse.

I mean, I shared kitchens with lots of people. And let me think of all the different kitchens I shared. If I go backwards, so I'll start with the last one I shared.

So I haven't had to share a kitchen here, because this is a flat. Don't have to share anything other than the hallway to get in and out of the main door. The garden is shared as well.

But not much people go out there. But it's quite weird, me and my friend, who, one of my neighbors, he doesn't go out there because there's no one out there. And I don't go out there in case someone comes out.

So we both want exactly the opposite thing. He'd get bored, he'd get bored sitting there on his own, with no one to talk to. I long for that, to be able to sit out there and I don't, obviously he's fine if he pops out for a bit and says hi in it, because he's my friend, but I just don't want some people, anyone else sort of coming out.

And just, I would like to be able to sit out there and because I've got a garden chair and everything that I can sort of lay back in. So that's, but I don't use that, I just don't go out. But it'd be lovely just to sit, in fact I might do that over the next few weeks when it's nice, I might just sit out there for a couple of hours, just to get some air, maybe read a book.

But I don't want to have to sit there and suddenly have someone just sort of talking to me. Because it defeats the object of being in the garden. I think part of being in the garden is just have some peace, peace and quiet.

And that's not really, I don't think it's really possible when there's other people about. I think it's quite amazing how different we can all be. For me, having people come and want to talk to me is, it's not the worst thing that can happen but it's, it's the thing I don't want.

But other people would want that, they'd want that. The idea of sitting there with no one talking to them for two hours is almost like, just a really unpleasant experience for them. Now I can relate to that in a sense of, if I worked somewhere and you're new, you know if you're new somewhere, whether it's a school, I've been new at a few schools when I was younger, moved around quite a bit, so no one knows you and sometimes no one approaches you.

It's you on your own and it's dinner time, play time, whatever and you're on your own, you've got hundreds of other kids all ignoring you. It can be quite horrible. So in that situation I kind of, I suppose I did want someone to come up to me and sort of be nice, but not when I'm at home.

No, it's the kitchens, yeah. The kitchen before I moved here, I had my own, it wasn't a kitchen, it was, there was a sink and I was, it was like a kitchenette. So there was a little room, very long, but not much wider than the bed.

There was a bed plus another half a bed where you could walk through. That makes sense, it's about the kind of size it was. You couldn't put two single beds together, side by side, it wasn't enough room.

And I'd walk and that was it. I had that and there was this little kitchenette, sink, the kitchenette was not bad actually, better than a room in fact, and cupboards. There was, but there was no cooker, it was this little camper stove, the kind of thing that you take when you're camping basically or in a caravan, I guess if you haven't got a built-in kitchen, with two rings and it was electric and it wasn't up to much.

And then there was this, I don't know if it was all in one, I forget now, but I think it, yeah, it was an oven as well and it was big enough to fit, probably kind of a meal for one. There's that, but it was an oven, it wasn't a microwave, it was an oven. So that was a bit, yeah, but I had a toaster, I had a cooker, a toaster and a kettle.

So that, that was all right, it wasn't enough room for much stuff, but it was, it was okay, it was, it was doable and there was a little fridge underneath the counter, which was big enough for me. Yeah, I had a supermarket across the road from where I lived, so I never had to really stock up too much stuff at once. It was only, you know, it was literally from where I lived to the supermarket, less than a five minutes walk, one, two, I reckon three minutes, depending on traffic, because I had to cross a busy road.

And I guess how, depends how long, how, how quickly I walked as well. But that was handy. And it was not a big supermarket, but it was a Tesco Express or something.

So everything kind of what I needed was there. Now I used to drink regularly at the time, so alcohol, but then milk, bread, biscuits and cakes, and my diet hasn't really changed that much, has it? Blimey. But it's okay, it was, it kind of, everything I needed was there.

And yeah, so I didn't have to share a kitchen now, which I was so grateful for. The time before that, I shared a kitchen in a house, which was just up the road from where I lived. I didn't move very far, so I still had the supermarket, which was local, but a 10 minute walk instead of a five minute walk.

It was literally just at the end of the road. So I moved in there, and it was like a new build. So it was quite a new building.

And it had one, two, three, four, five, six bedrooms. There was a kit, quite a big kitchen, actually. And there was a living room that really wasn't used.

Because the people living there didn't, I don't know, didn't really get on. Did, but didn't kind of, it was a weird, and there was a garden that no one used as well. So I lived at the top of the building, and I had an en suite.

There was, I don't know, one, two, I think there was three en suite rooms. So there's mine. There was a bathroom next to me.

That's, that was annoying, because I, the door of the bathroom was slamming all the time. So what I did is I started planing it to try and make the wood so it closed properly. Because it was right outside my door.

So I had an en suite. They had an en suite across the hall. Then there was a, just a normal room.

So I had like a double room. The other one was a double room. And then downstairs, there was a double room just below me with an en suite.

The room next to it was a big room. This is basically the size of the other room, but with, taking up the same space as the bathroom. So it's a lot bigger, but it was quite long, but it didn't have an en suite.

And then the room next to that was like a single room, I think, but it didn't have an en suite either. So that, that was it, six rooms. When I moved in, what was there, two, two, three, four, five, six.

There's a few people living there. Anyway, I lost my trader fort there. Yeah, I didn't have my own kitchen in that place.

So I shared the kitchen. I did put my milk in there and my breakfast cereal in one of the cupboards. I'm pretty sure that's about it.

Maybe cans of lager, I'm not sure. But other than that, I think I cooked for myself twice the whole year I was there. And the rest of the time, because I was working as a counsellor, that was my job.

And I, I ate out every day. Sandwiches, I think, mainly, and then I'd have sandwiches in the evening. And then at a weekend on a Sunday, I would have a KFC in the afternoon.

And that's, I did that for a year, pretty much. I don't know, exciting, isn't it? So I didn't cook for myself. Before that, I lived in a house, which was a, it was a cottage.

Cottage. Again, kind of in the middle of nowhere. Anywhere is the middle of nowhere if you don't have a car.

Although the transport wasn't too bad. The buses, there's a bus stop just across the road from where I lived. So it's fairly easy to get into town.

And there was a shelter as well. So I didn't have to get wet whilst waiting for a bus. But I was sharing a kitchen again.

The landlady was a little bit annoying when it came to the kitchen. Because her, it was a family kitchen, it was a family home. And she kind of wanted to keep it that way.

And it's hard to keep it that way when you've got strangers living with you. And she'd buy in a little bit with, we had, not an argument, but it was a disagreement when she told me that I shouldn't use tinfoil. And I said, by the way, I should point out the tinfoil wasn't for anything weird.

It was just in the the tin where I was cooking stuff. And she disagreed with using tinfoil. And I agreed with it.

And I carried on. Because I'm not getting anyone, no one's going to tell me what to do. Not like that.

You know, it's just a tinfoil. I'm going to use it. I don't care what you think.

She didn't, I don't think she was too impressed with that. I had a fridge, a little fridge, and a little ice box at the top, which wasn't big enough for hardly any frozen stuff. And I had to torque it in to allow me to use some of her own freezer.

She had this two freezers, upright one and a whatever you call the one that's like low down, flat. She allowed me to use a little bit of the freezer. It's either that or I had to go every day and buy stuff.

So and I had a cupboard, little cupboard, which wasn't really big enough. And I had to keep a knife and fork and a plate in there. And it was a little bit silly, but it's just what it was.

And someone else moved in. And honestly, they moved in, we had to share a fridge. And again, putting her meat on top of my stuff, her dripping me on top of my cheese, you know, stuff like that.

And she hogged the fridge. And she had, she made, we had to share, it was like a double, I think it was like a double cupboard. And she took up most of it.

So it's just a lot of quite unfair, really, still very, very angry. In fact, I've never been so angry. I yeah, that was annoying.

So that but hey, I did it for nearly three, I did it for three years, three years. I put I did that I I said I'll put up with it. But they put up with me as well for three years.

Nice family, I just don't like living with people. And that was hard. It's hard work.

For them as well, I'm sure because I'm not, you know, I'm a bit of a grumpy, grumpy bum sometimes. And while the stuff before there, I lived in a Buddhist community, sharing a kitchen. Again, we there was how many of us was there 12345 people sharing a little fridge, I'm talking a little fridge that's not really even big enough for one person.

But you can make you can make it you can make it work for one person, not big enough for two. Not big enough for three, definitely, definitely not big enough for four. You see where I'm going with this? Five impossible.

Well, it was just ridiculous. There was no room for anything. But once you got five people's milk, it's in there.

Because okay, we can share milk. But you know what I have breakfast cereal. And I'm not gonna be relying on someone else's milk to be fresh.

You know, I have my own milk and we're putting labels on it was just a bit silly. And so that was a bit rubbish. And the kitchen was nice.

The kitchen was quite big. And cook and everything else was big enough for everyone. It's just a tiny little fridge.

But not only do we share the kitchen, we used to also share cooking. And I didn't like it. I didn't like just I don't like eating what someone else gives me, expecting me just to eat it.

Because I don't know if I'm gonna want it. No, don't get me wrong. I love free food.

I love free food. There's always a catch. And the rule in the house was, if you cook the food, you didn't have to wash up.

So whoever ate the food washed up. Apart from the person who cooked it, of course, of course. And I don't like that.

I'll tell you why. Please do tell us why we're sitting on the edge of our seats. I need to be rude.

I'll tell you why. Because one of the people that lived there, and he was my good friend, so I'm not not being rude about him just being honest. He would use every single piece of cutlery, every plate, every dish, every saucepan that there is.

And at the end of it, it just be a plate of food. Like the same plate of food, perhaps I would produce. And I'd use maybe three saucepans and that'd be it.

He would use everything, every single thing. In fact, I found stuff that didn't even belong in the house. He was borrowing stuff from people just to make more washing up.

Honestly, I'm sure he was. So I'll be there for about three or four hours washing up. Just for a meal.

The last, what, 20 minutes? Just for a bit of food. Now I know food is valuable, but it's less valuable here than it is in other places. Some places, you know, food really is, it's life or death.

You've got to eat, or you know, it's everything. Here you just, getting food is, it's the easiest thing in the world, as long as you've got the money. But even then you can get very, very cheap stuff.

Go to McDonald's for a pound, you got a burger for a pound, like 99 pence. If you walk around the streets long enough, you'll find 99 pence. Sit in a doorway with a empty coffee cup, asking for spare change, you'll get 99 pence pretty quick and you'll be able to have a burger.

I'm just saying it's if you're willing to do what it takes. So there's not really any need to generally go hungry, hungry. It's different, I guess, if you've got a family to feed and stuff, but just one person on their own.

Sausage roll is about a pound. I know it's not a meal, but it's definitely going to stave, stave off um, hunger. That's enough of my social commentary.

Kitchens, back to kitchen, back to blimmin' kitchens. So yeah, so that was a bit rubbish, but I, I think I benefited from living there. It was one of the best places I've lived and one of the worst places I've lived.

Possibly not an equal measure. The worst, that the best outweighed the worst. Because I'd still be there now if it wasn't for the worst.

I wouldn't still be there because they sold it, but you know, I planned to stay there long term. I had no plans to move out ever. I wanted to stay there, get my degree and continue living there whilst I worked as a counsellor at the two charities I volunteered at, where I did the hypnosis groups, relaxation groups.

Had it all planned. I had a girlfriend, had a part-time job, everything. My whole life was planned for me for the next three years and hopefully beyond that.

And it all came tumbling down. What do they say about the best, best laid plans? All came tumbling down. Because of one person.

But hey, that's the way it is. Two people, including me, obviously I have to include myself. I was, I was involved.

So yeah, it's the two people, me and one other person. But there you go. What was weird though, is because my girlfriend, a new girlfriend, I'd only been seeing her for a few weeks, maybe a month or two, I don't know, but not long.

We were getting on really well. I think I'd just met her kids. She had about 15 kids.

But I'd just met her kids, it took a few days, you know, because just saying hello to one kid, you know, 15, that's about seven hours worth of work. But she, I said, I'm going to be homeless. I need to get out.

And I'm not anywhere. I can't find anywhere to live because I was looking, couldn't find anywhere I could afford. She said to me, why don't you phone up the university and see if they've got any university accommodation? Now, I thought she might have said, why don't you come and live with me? Admittedly, it was early days, it's probably a little bit too early, but she could have at least said move in as a temporary, you know, just for a couple of months, while you find yourself somewhere to live.

And if it worked out, well, I could have just stayed there and got married or something. I don't know how people do things. But she didn't seem to want to go in that direction.

I wasn't after that, you know, I wanted to find my own place. But I did wonder, I wonder if she's afterwards, like, why didn't she ask? But it's none of my business. It's none of my business at all, really.

And I found somewhere through the university. So it's her idea. Yet, she left me for it.

Because I moved away. Because I moved out of the town to a different town where the university was. She broke it off, just didn't.

But it was her idea. It was her idea. Ah, unless that's why.

It's her way of getting out of the relationship. Hadn't thought about that. The thing is, I'm the easiest person in the world to get out of a relationship with.

You know, I'm not really, I'm not a clinger. I'm not one of those. Oh, please stay with me.

Oh, well, you know, I'm not really. I think I used to be when I was younger, when I was romantic. But not now.

Not not for the last 30 years. Okay. I mean, why would you want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you? There'd be no, there's no logic in that.

And that's, that's almost, there's no point in that. It's like eating a moldy sandwich. It's like, no, like putting your hand in a bin and pulling out a sandwich that's covered in mold and dog poo.

Like, I'm not gonna eat that. To me, that's the same as someone not want to be with you. Why would you want to be? You know, someone that doesn't love you anymore is very much like a moldy poo covered sandwich out of a bin.

That's what I'm trying to say. Maybe didn't quite word that properly. Hmm.

So there was that kitchen. And before that, I lived in a house. There's one, two, I think it was six, six rooms again.

Yeah, six rooms. One was a crack den. It's true.

Got closed down by the police. I was living in the red light district, which isn't as glamorous as you think. And just behind a big football ground, football stadium.

Yeah, about 10 minute walk from where I worked. It's very handy, very close to town, which is very handy again. So, you know, hey, good.

That is good points. And I lived, there was actually two kitchens. There was a kitchen at the bottom of the ground of the floor of the underground floor.

So there was a kitchen, I think it was you turned right, actually. And then there was two rooms downstairs. Yeah.

So it wasn't three. So it's two downstairs. Pretty sure.

And then there was three upstairs. And then two at the bottom of the top where I was. So it was a three, three, four, five, six, seven, seven rooms.

Or was it two rooms, two? I don't know. I think it might have been two rooms in the middle. So might have been six, two on each floor.

There's a bathroom in the middle of the toilet in the middle. And there's a toilet in the bathroom as well. And there was.

I lose track, you know. I lose track, but there was a kitchenette at the top, which me and two of one other person shared. And that was I didn't eat much, to be fair, I didn't cook very much in there.

I was a vegetarian for most of the year. This is 2004. So I didn't eat meat through to throughout 2004.

I didn't drink alcohol throughout 2004. Didn't smoke anyway at that time. And didn't do anything.

Really. So I was but I've been unwell for a couple of years. So I decided to well for over a year rather.

So I decided to have a complete kind of break from everything. And try and get well, which is what I did in 2004. And I spent the first eight months working part time in a gift shop.

Just for something to do really, I'll be around other Buddhists. And the rest of the time, I was relaxing or meeting up with friends and Buddha, you know, I was doing Wing Chun Kung Fu. During that time, a couple of nights a week, three nights a week, actually.

Two nights a week is Wing Chun and Friday nights, Monday, Wednesday, Friday night was leg spa. Which basically all you could do is use your legs couldn't use your hands. So it's spa with and you go from one person to the next, like two hours pretty much solid with a couple of breaks.

And it just be legs. It was a lot of fun, actually. So yeah, I did that.

I went to the Buddhist Center a couple of nights a week as well. It was quite quite busy. You know, as far as got to see people and doing stuff, meditating.

And yes, it was a difficult year, but it was, I suppose, quite a good year as well, in some ways. And then at the end, in the end of August, I got a job, might be in September, I got a job back in another insurance company, and started working there. And I worked there until I think it was June 2007.

And it was just around the corner from where I worked, from where I lived. So that was that was cool. So I lived, I think I lived in that place from March 2004 to about March 2005.

Before that I lived in a YMCA, which was a, it was a, I lived in three different flats at the studio apartments. So they were self-contained. And there's like a room, separate bathroom, separate little kitchen.

And so I lived in three different ones because I kept having problems with noisy neighbors and eventually ended up right at the top of the building. I liked it up there, but then again, noisy neighbors moved in. Because a lot of people that lived there, they would, so people would be homeless, they'd be in the hostel, the YMCA hostel.

And then if, this is what I was told the process was. And then if they behaved themselves, and they did what they were told, and they learned some life skills and stuff, because a lot of them were very young. They would then have kind of supervised, supervised accommodation, living in one of the studio apartments.

Supervised as in someone would come and see them probably once a week or something to see how they're getting on, and help them out if they needed it. But because they were so young, they would just, first thing they'd do is just get a stereo system and blast music out all night long. It just seemed to be the thing.

And a lot of them weren't working. And so it was just difficult to be around that. I had earplugs in.

To be honest, I didn't even know I had noisy neighbors until I had a girlfriend stay over. And I figured I probably couldn't wear the earplugs, because that might look a bit rude. So I'm going to bed now, I'll just put the earplugs in.

So I thought I better not. And I was like, what's that drum and bass? All I could hear was the vibrations. And oh man.

So yeah, in the end, I just, I had too much of that and I moved out. I'd already moved out before, I moved into a caravan to get away from the building, because of the noise. And then the caravan flooded.

So I ended up just going back to where I lived before. Just because I hadn't given any notice, I just moved back in to the same room. So I did have my own kitchen for that period of time.

So that was, you know, that was from what, 2000, September 2001 to March 2004. So what was that, 2002, 2003. So yeah, two, two and a half years, I guess, I was living there.

So that was nice, not having to share a bathroom or a kitchen. But it wasn't self-contained, as in, it was, but there was a lot of people living there. It was really, it was, I think it was about 200 flatlets or studio apartments, studio flats.

And it was a business, it was a big old business. A lot of refugees living there. And then a lot of really young people that were homeless or, and it was, there was clashes and there was all kinds of weird things went on there.

But I was just working, I was just a working person and just, when I moved from London, that's all I could find. Although in a way, it's probably the best place I could have found really, short term anyway. But it was a bit embarrassing, you know, where do you live? I live in a YMCA.

I never told anyone, I didn't. Partly because I didn't want them to sing the song at me. But also, I was an adult, you know, I was in my thirties.

And in some ways, on some levels, I was doing quite well for myself. Kind of, not really, but kind of, you know. Sales wise, I was doing all right.

I was, I wasn't earning huge money, but I was doing fairly okay. But I just never seemed to get my act together to get myself my own flat and stuff. Weird.

Yeah. So that was like, I didn't have to share anything there. Before that, yeah, I think everywhere.

Yeah, every place before that, I shared a kitchen. Before that, I was staying in a place with quite a short time. Sharing a kitchen there, that's in London.

Before that, I was living in another place. Shared a kitchen, I was living there for a few years. Before that, stayed with a friend, sharing a kitchen.

Before that, at the other place again, sharing a kitchen. Before that, I was sharing a house with a friend, sharing a kitchen. Before that, I was sharing a house with another friend, sharing a kitchen.

Before that, I was in another place, sharing a kitchen with a woman who was a landlady and before that I was staying with my dad sharing a kitchen before that I was back in London again sharing a kitchen in a house before that I was sharing a kitchen in another place but that was only temporary and before that I was blinding I'm losing track now but yeah there's a lots of oh yeah kitchen I think there there one two three four five six seven eight nine yeah it's been over 40 probably put about 40 plus

kitchens I've shared and a very small handful of kitchens I haven't shared so this is one of the kitchens I haven't shared the one before here was a kitchen I didn't share but it wasn't a real kitchen and then the three studio apartments in the same building but they were yeah I didn't share those that was it really I did have a flat now I had another studio place I forgot about that that was for a few months didn't share a kitchen but the landlord said that I let the water drip let the tap drip

now I know how to turn taps off I've been doing it for years I worked in catering I don't mean that I know how to use taps better than other people by the way it's might you might call them faucets but it's tap tap is the right word and I used to I used to I knew how to do it but when landlord came up to me when I I'd think I've been away for a weekend or something and he came in and said your room overflowed and my ceiling caved in on me and my

wife when we're in bed the whole ceiling collapsed on them and he said we're lucky that we weren't seriously injured and I don't remember what else he said because I stopped listening you know like well I didn't leave the tap running why would I I like that room I actually did like that place it was it was a former kind of holiday home people used to stay there for holidays and that and it was lovely nice bathroom nice kitchen it was almost in a way like a caravan but inside a house I liked it I

mean I'd be okay living in a place like that now really it was quite nice a nice chair I watched Seinfeld for the first time so this was like 1990 and I don't believe the landlord I think there's something wrong I think he is something wrong with the structure of the building or something I understand if I got into the bath and the bath collapsed and fell through his ceiling I'd understand that my weight but I was only slim back then I was slim that's the only reason I got girlfriends back then is because it

wasn't for how I looked but I was slim and some people like slim men it's like a thing they like I personally think I was skinny slim is not the right word I was skinny and I was embarrassed I hated being slim really now I'm not a big fan of being fat because I've been both now but yeah midway I'd like to be a bit midway a little bit slimmer but I'd never want to go back to being skinny even now I'd rather if I had to choose between being fat and skinny I think I

still use I still choose fat even though I don't want to be really don't like being fat but I was more I was embarrassed more embarrassed from being skinny than I was I've ever been being fat just didn't like it it's just I just didn't like being blown around in the wind you know people used to mistake me for a kite especially if I was holding onto a bit of string when I say kite I mean something that blows in the wind you know that you can control like plastic with some wooden bits for it

and right I set me done that's my bathroom stories I could have done this is my boring objects couldn't I could talk about bathrooms or kitchens yeah anyway I'm gonna go so thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love bye