#708 Let me bore you to sleep - WAKING UP EARLY - Jason Newland (22nd August 2021)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com, my name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You to sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Hope you're well, I hope you're okay, innit? I'm tired.

You know what, ever since the Cornwall holiday, I used the word holiday very vaguely, but it was a break, it was, you know, it was some really nice moments, um, getting the train home, that was night, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed

it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed that, no.

Um, to be fair, at the time, I needed to get away, I really needed to get away from here, so it was, ahhh, it was all right, anyway, the point I was going to make is, when I was there, this is gobbled up two months ago now, I was going to bed at like nine o'clock in the evening and waking up six o'clock and well I was waking up earlier but then I was you know uniting and then going back to bed and I'm waking up at six o'clock having me breakfast outside the front because

a table listening to the radio so so actually it's quite nice I liked I quite enjoyed that because you know it's the summertime I know technically I mean it's the 22nd of August still summertime ish but this was what June wasn't it was it June or was it July I don't know end of June I think it was the end of June and so it was very bright you know this light at like four o'clock or half three in the morning four o'clock in the morning it was light outside buzzing sound lovely lovely sound hmm

that horrible sound isn't it sniffing hmm now stop I remember once years ago right when I was in a call center working and I don't remember how long ago it was but I just remember the particular call and the bloke on the other phone must have had a really really really full-on cold because he was sniffing but it was a proper real horrible I was honestly I felt ill I felt ill in a conversation lasted about half hour and it was just honestly I felt like his nose was inside my ear gripping I just really

felt a bit queasy because on the phone you know he's really close like it feels like you know the whisper in your ear kind of with headphones on oh I didn't even try or even attempt to sell him any car insurance I just did the quote as they go bye see ya and then I quit no I didn't so I yeah so Cornwall I was since I'll be back from Cornwall I've been waking up early in the morning I haven't really been up all night anymore like I used to be and it's the first time

in years that I haven't spent years being up pretty much all night sleep during the day and to be fair I got more work done I did but more did I yeah I think because there's no there's less disturbation at night you know there's no one playing in the garden and doing the things they should be doing let's face it you know summer why shouldn't they play in the garden but you know night I don't have that so it's easier to make recordings when there's no not much in the way of background sound so when

I'm now that I'm awake during the day I can get a lot more of the paper it's not paperwork but the admin side of things which I would class is the promotion the website building the SEO search engine optimization stuff research whatever else all that kind of stuff I can get done during the day very easily because I don't doesn't matter if there's a bit of background sound and so I'm quite often I just play a bit of music a bit of Spotify you know I mean play a little bit of this a little bit

of that and it's very chilled and I like it but it doesn't I mean it does help me build my audience because I'm promoting the podcasts and I'm finding ways to reach a larger audience and to be more accessible or more findable on in search engines and you know such like however as far as producing new recordings I've been a little bit not lazy because I'm not lazy I'm not I'm not a lazy person I have lazy I have lazy moments I'll admit to that I'm not a lazy person because if I was a lazy

person I wouldn't have done this I wouldn't have built what I've built over the last 16 years I would have given up you know I wouldn't have continued because it hasn't been easy I'll be honest it hasn't there's been some difficult times I just just overcame one recently when my podcast got cancelled and I really thought I was gonna lose all of it wasn't about it wasn't about losing the recordings because I've got backups of a lot of the recordings but all all the recordings pretty much are backed up apart from some of the ones

with music but I can recreate those because I've got the original version if that makes sense I've got the blueprint no no not the blue what did I used to call it of a CD or an album not the blueprint the is it not the carbon copy the negative is it negative that would be a photograph you know what I mean though you know like an original thing yeah I know what I mean most of my recordings are on my website where you can download them which means I can also download them so they're all

stored on the website I don't know how many is this they're not all on there I admit not all of my recordings are on there but most pretty much all of the the more recent stuff that I've been doing over the last few years are on my website you know the podcasts every episode of let me bore you to sleep apart from this one that I'm just doing now it's on my website I maybe not the last one I did a couple of days ago yeah no I haven't done that one yet yeah meaning me

so I'm not gonna lose the recordings if the podcasts were deleted I'm gonna use the pot I'm not just I'm gonna lose recordings I lose some but not because I'd have I'd have to remake them but it's it's not an impossible task it's a huge task it's not impossible it would just take me many many many months to do and but what I could lose is the audience and all those links all those like on Google and you know on the internet basically all those links to the the different podcasts will all just be deleted

they'll all be void and it makes a bit of a mess because people may still be searching for me and they'll come across pages where my podcast used to be you know and I go there and the podcast isn't working and that ain't good so I really was worried and concerned that I was gonna lose my podcasts but I didn't I managed to I pay I paid it I was a week late paying it and the they cancelled my subscription but they didn't delete any of my stuff and if anything my statistics actually went up

over that week compared to an average week where I made no recordings so I made no recordings for seven days I think and I was still getting between four or five thousand downloads a day maybe sometimes more without even making a recording and normally it will go down to about three thousand a day in the past if I'd go even more than like three three or four days without making a recording it start to kind of go down generally wouldn't go down below three but you know which is still in three thousand a days a

million a year which is nice a nice number but it's low it's a low number for for me now oh aren't I great oh you're amazing Jason a millions just a small number now in it hey no I'm not saying millions a small number but it's three six nine yeah I mean on just making one recording would push it up to seven thousand downloads a day I just did one recording a day just one let me put you to sleep and I get 7,000 downloads plus a day and I don't know why so um I

hope I like to think that I've got something to do with it and you might think oh yeah it's all ego here in it but not not in a sense of the recordings so much although that should have something to do with it but I'm thinking the work that I did during those seven days when I couldn't make any recordings because I wasn't allowed to is when I went on there they said that I was 14,000 hours over the limit it's like 14,000 hours 14,000 hours now admittedly you know a lot of recordings are shared

on different podcasts so that it's not 14,000 recordings I haven't done that many if I had 14,000 recordings I would probably be getting ten times yeah probably if I had 14,000 recordings I'd be like that'd be like a hundred thousand downloads a day probably but also means that I would be record I've been releasing like 20 or 30 recordings a day which is never gonna happen let's be honest that's an impossible impossible task it's not possible the only way I could do that I could do it for a week you know I could like make

lots of recordings and then you know put them all as a backlog you know just save them and then one week release like 20 a day for seven days you know sort of save a hundred and forty recordings and then but what's the point in that it's not really is there it's no point mate I just don't see the point so um I I'm hoping some of the stuff I've done including transcriptions and putting them onto the podcasts some of the podcasts only a small amount really about a hundred and just over a hundred I

think podcasts I've actually got the transcriptions on on there and I've also done the same on YouTube so I've been updating I've been uploading all of my stuff as much you know I'm still doing it actually as we speak well not as we speak because I'm doing this now but I've been uploading my you my podcasts from Spreaker onto YouTube and they will be they're getting some view I mean it's not a lot to be fair I mean I lost about 30 subscribers during the first part of me uploading because I was uploading so many

we're not uploading sharing but I guess it is kind of like uploading I suppose to YouTube I saw I added so many new videos to YouTube my YouTube channel that people were obviously getting a bit annoyed which is understandable because all they kept seeing is probably my videos my new well old video they weren't even new they were old ones from like three years ago eventually they were updated so I've got lots of like playlists and stuff and all my let me boy to sleep or my deep sleep whisper or the sleep and relaxer sleep

hypnosis daily other stuff I'm trying to think I don't remember what else I do but yeah and have a podcast I've got like the smoking ones and the hypnotic buffet I think it's probably on there and the various hypnotic buffet the one that no one likes but I love so much work into that that's my masterpiece it's not at all I just I don't remember what I did but I remember I did one every day for about 30 days or something and I was like yeah hypnotic buffet the whole idea is like I'll just talk

about a subject and then you just you know I mean yeah you know yeah I'll talk about subject and then people and then you can just choose what you like so if I say something that resonates with you or something that you agree with or something that you might think about or something that may be useful then you know you can kind of just have a little taste of everything that's that was a whole idea of the hypnotic buffet was just me talking and just raising some ideas just you know just a bit of chit

chat but in a kind of more in a kind of a hypnotic way but at the same time giving without telling saying oh you're gonna feel this and you're gonna feel that and you're gonna think this and this is how you're gonna feel it was just just a few suggestions lots of different suggestions that are just available to choose choose what is useful and in a way that is how I work anyway which is why I make so many different recordings I suppose because technically if you was gonna do a you're gonna just do a

sleep hypnosis recording you just do one that'll be it one and that's it and then you do another a different recording something different but I've done hundreds and hundreds of sleep hundreds and hundreds of relaxation recordings because I like the idea of variety I like the idea of I don't know for me it's kind of like reading books reading different books even if it's on the same subject for example I've read quite a few hypnosis books and it's the same subject you know it's the same subject but different people I guess that explain maybe even

the same process the idea in a different way and one book will describe it in a way that doesn't really resonate with me doesn't really perhaps sink in another person may describe it and there's like wow it's like hearing it for the first time but at the same time realizing I have heard that before but now it makes sense yeah it might not have made sense if I hadn't read it before previously even I didn't perhaps necessarily even understand it before so I quite like that the idea of and I did that when I studied

autism not autism yeah autism but Asperger's was the thing I was very interested in back in 2004 and I had lots of books on the subject and I read them all and you know I was very I was trying to figure out myself because I had these certain conditions that were very kind of similar to Asperger's and I was like oh I need to find out because I read some books like that's me but then I don't know anyway that's how I kind of really studied the subject and then like Buddhism as well I've read

I was reading Buddhist books first Buddhist book I read was probably about pretty 1992 and then why didn't go to the Buddhist Center in 2002 so I was reading Buddhist books I had a big collection of Buddhist books and I was buying them all the way through the 90s I lost the book collection I think I sold some of them because I was about to become homeless so I needed to sort of raise some kind of money so I sold that book collection I was surprised I actually got some money for them because they're quite

rare the books I had were quite rare and they're quite expensive at the time I don't mean like thousands of pounds but they're all like for 30 40 pound some of them and it's just oh the bloke said this is a really nice collection I said oh thank you very much can't remember what else we said but I thought we might I'm sure I'm sure we danced for a little while anyway he had the he took the took all the books off me but I read a lot of those books other things like authors if

I if I like a particular writer for example Charles Bukowski I got not obsessed with his books but I read a lot I bought a lot of his books I've still got one two three four five of his books on my bookcase just there but they're just the novels I also had loads of his poetry books as well that's another thing I was really into poetry but my interest was beat poetry as opposed to Yates or Mandela or I don't know Marmite I don't know whatever Beethoven I'm not sure whoever wrote poetry I didn't really

I wasn't really into the so I'm not a big fan of old English old old style of writing the the words the wording you know so things like Charles Dickens not Charles Dickens and apparently if you say Charles Dickens when you meet Shakespeare that's a sign of being very very dumb but I struggle a bit with Charles Dickens as well because some of his word in a little bit I can do it but it's some of the wording is a bit it's very old and that kind of I don't know it's just it almost sounds

pretentious when people talk like that but that if that was the way they spoke but I guess hmm I guess I'm a bit rough I'm a bit common and posh really yeah Shakespeare I can't deny I mean Shakespeare's stuff was you know it was pretty amazing but I don't like it I'll be honest I don't I've what on earth was that did you hear that my phone just clicked what on earth was it doing I guess I got an email a text message no I just got so annoying there's no text message no I've left

my phone on because my friend was a bit unwell yesterday so he thinks he's got a hernia and so he can't really do anything for himself so I've left the phone on and just in case he needs my help with anything and so if it does ring I'll edit it out but I'm just saying I don't know what I'm telling you then really it makes no difference does it if you're gonna edit please tell me just what were you talking about I don't know yeah he thought an alien was trying to get out of his

stomach there was a side on his left side and it was like a really bad cramp he pushed it back in like the size of his fist he's got big hands and he pushed it back in and then he phoned me he's like wasn't sure what to do really like it was I think he was a bit in shock because never happened before and so I phoned 111 which is the it's not emergency well it's it's basically for medical advice from the NHS and then they they kind of try and diagnose over the phone and

then tell you whether or not it's an emergency so I called 111 and it was 10 minutes waiting and I went downstairs and so we waited to put it on speakerphone and I just explained who I was and said my friends because he was really paled like you know like oh blimey I think it was a shock bit of a shock to the system which it would be wouldn't it and it's the unknown sometimes isn't it now first of all he said he's probably a hernia and that's what he said himself and so I did

it I went on to YouTube first and just had a little look at hernias there's lots of different types of hernias and they're not all great to be fair I don't think there's any such thing as a good hernia but there can be some pretty troublesome hernias which need immediate medical attention some will need they all potentially need medical attention sometimes depending because it's a hole in the wall of the stomach or something isn't it but anyway I don't want to get all grossy but when I watched out I thought okay yeah that might need

medical attention now so I called 111 got through to them ended up speaking to three different people and they spoke and then they said we'll get someone to call you back and then someone called back and then we'll get a specialist to call you back and basically the last person said well sounds like a hernia which we recommend you go to the emergency ward within two hours so a friend wouldn't go he just determined not to leave the house until Monday so nothing I can do at that point okay but he didn't I didn't think

he wasn't really felt physically able to stand up even you know but he wasn't going to call an ambulance he's one of they would not won't call an ambulance ever so I mean I call an ambulance you know if I need to go to McDonald's I'm just I'm just very I abused the system I don't really you know when they come aren't they oh yeah I need a Big Mac it's emergency can you come get me please no doesn't work like that although I had an ambulance called for someone in this block that need an

ambulance so I called an ambulance and that's not the funny bit it's not why I'm laughing one of my the friend who was waiting who was being seen by the ambulance he had a friend of him like a young bloke and he said this bloke is so funny and so polite and so friendly and the ambulance drivers or the ambulance people offered to give him a lift to his workplace because he was saying I don't know how I'm going to get to work I will give you a lift they're not allowed to do that the

ambulance driver then this is they weren't taking my friend to hospital they wanted to be it didn't happen but they were going to take him in the ambulance to where he works to give him a lift they're not allowed to give lifts they're not insured for that that's just like wow don't know why I'm telling you that story it's a bit boring isn't it hey that's why because it's boring yeah it really is um how did I get on talking about ambulances oh yeah 111 they said go to the hospital but so basically he's kind

of been resting for two days and I've been taking took his dog out for a long walk last night and just took him out for a long walk tonight as well but tonight I did it while it was light because you can't see what's on the ground you know you can't walk on the grass at night because you know especially if there's other dog walkers and I'm not I'm not there lying on the ground trying to trip you up but just we're going to be banging into them but just it's you know I don't want

to be treading in anything so I took took the dog out today about seven it's still light outside had a lovely long walk I actually enjoyed it to be fair because you know I used to take Andre out every day so on a Sunday night I don't know why but I quite quite enjoyed taking him out in the evening on a Sunday there seemed to be I don't know why I mean every day is pretty much the same for me really but there's something seemed to be quite nice about a Sunday night for some strange

reason and I just remember because this time of the year it's nice and cool in the evening but it's not cold well sometimes I guess it's cold but you know August time is usually quite a nice to me for me I mean I'm I'm not really a heat lover I'm not a cold lover either I'm I'm not a cold lover that sounds weird doesn't it but you know I don't feel I don't feel the cold as much as someone I guess that's a lot slimmer than me and they might feel it a bit more I've

got the extra blubber to extra lard to keep me warm so but I don't like being stationary in the cold if I'm moving I'm all right so I don't like sitting in a cold flat although it's cool in here and I'm okay with that I'm actually it's not warm it's just off the verge of being too cold if that makes sense it's just the wind is open it's late at night excuse me um and I've got just a t-shirt on I'm not saying my nipples are erect I'm just saying it's it's cool about it's actually

quite pleasant but I don't like it when it's cold when I'm sitting and it's cold I'm not a big fan of that but being outside any temperature really apart from like freezing cold doesn't bother me too much and the wind doesn't really affect me I'm too heavy for the wind to blow me over or to even really generally I mean sometimes you get a gust and it kind of you can feel it all right you know wobbling me a little bit I can feel I can feel my belly wobbling by the wind but oh my

goodness but yeah it's only when it's really cold that's when I'm you know it's not that pleasant but even then if I'm moving I'm okay if I'm walking and you know even I mean last year I didn't wear I haven't worn gloves for a couple of years in the winter not when I needed to wear gloves so that's yeah unless of course I did wear gloves maybe I did but not very often I think when it's icy I wear gloves not because it's cold although generally it would be cold when it's icy but because I

know from experience that when I've slipped in the past and I've landed on my hands and it hurts and I've never I've never like really damaged myself doing that not as an adult but I did I have like you know scraped my hands and cut my hands and stuff so if I wear cut gloves it just means I've got a bit more of a a cushion I suppose I could just carry a cushion around the only time I really hurt myself in the ice with ice like slipping really uh well I say really but it

was the worst one I was uh doing a paper round I think I was um I don't know probably about 14 at the time and it was an early morning paper round and I was I think I was being shown around it was my first day and I think that was kind of showing me around the route and it was icy proper icy and in fact no I don't think it was that I did slip over that time as well but this is another time and I slipped and I basically I would have probably had

a hat on or if I was wearing a parka I'll have the hood up but I landed on my back and I smashed the back of my head on the pavement on the ice and I'm not sure if I was knocked out or not but it was probably one of the most disorienting that's the right word um I was definitely not 100% there some would argue that's normal for me but you know that's a bit rude but I wasn't not like compass witness or whatever but I just wasn't um I thought I'd caused some damage

I really thought I've like broken my skull or something like that because it was such an impact you know really it wasn't just like if I'd have just fallen backwards and landed and hit my head on the on the pavement now that would have been bad enough but to slip it means you hit the pavement faster so I slipped and so I probably hit the pavement maybe three times faster I would have done if I'd just leaned backwards it was quite light so I probably to be fair if I just leaned backwards I mean I

might have just floated now maybe I would have fallen over but yeah the ice that was so light I was just like my head was on the pavement but my legs were in the air huh that was really really painful and I couldn't move I'm still there I'm still there now I couldn't move and I really thought I thought I was in trouble I really did and I had to just lay there probably it seemed it's one of those moments it felt like I was there for for ages but I was probably lying down for

a couple of minutes and then I got up the rest of my body was fine as far as I remember I might have banged myself banged myself um I might have like hurt my elbow or something I don't know I can't remember it's such a long time ago but I remember I smashed the back of my head on the pavement but you know what in reality it was probably the fact that it was icy might have saved me from the thing that caused me to fall over and slip possibly saved me from injury because ice

the ice on that because thick ice the ice on the ground probably softened the blow that would have been if I'd have hit the actual concrete because the ice although it's thick it wasn't necessarily hard if you know what I mean it was it I think it was some because some ice is like half melted isn't it but it's thick and then you can break into it and stuff I think I know what I'm talking about do I does anybody is there anybody there is there anybody there so yeah wow I mean well no I'm

sure I couldn't have maybe I I mean I'm surprised if I didn't have um what do they call it uh when you concussion if I'd have had a concussion no one would have noticed though because I'd have gone to school afterwards you know gone home had my breakfast they wouldn't notice if I had a concussion because anything I said I did would have been probably no different and I went to school sat there looking vacantly which is what I did anyway probably not making much sense which is what I did anyway so yeah I don't

think it would have been noticeable didn't even really need my brain when I went to school because I didn't use it you could argue that's the same now but that would be rude why do you keep being rude to me I'm trying to help but so yeah I don't know that's very weird though it's just it happens so quickly and then the exact same thing happened on that kid's scooter that I had to go on back you know 10 years ago blimey 10 years no no no it's less than 10 years ago what am I

going on about less than 10 years what about eight years ago and wow no I'm gonna forget I'm gonna forget how quickly time's going but anyway the that same thing happened trot on the scooter and slipped over and was on my back like instantly but I'm thinking the reason I didn't bang my head on on the floor is because my body's a lot bigger now and my head can't can't reach the floor because it was such a big fat back maybe that's why I was on the floor because when I lay on the floor my

back isn't that fat I don't think I've got muscles I think when I lay on the floor my head it's quite hard for me to reach the floor in my head it's weird it's almost I have to kind of really crunch down and push down on my neck sort of getting the back of my head on the floor it's very uncomfortable it's quite difficult to do but I guess if you're at that speed and banging I guess the neck would normally go back it would just automatically go back but it didn't so when I landed

I basically landed it was and I was I wasn't consciously it was so quick I couldn't consciously manipulate my body to spread out so I didn't hurt myself or anything all it was was one second I was putting my foot on my weight on this scooter the next thing I'm on the floor on my back and I didn't bang my head on the on the punk well it was concrete yeah I didn't bang my head on the floor at all so I landed on my back and my my neck supported my head just didn't didn't

go didn't or couldn't reach the floor or whatever I don't know very weird because that was falling over I mean I don't want to break bones but I've had enough broken bones to not be that bothered and a heel it's the head that's the thing that is the most precious part isn't it in a way in this sense of a fall you want to make sure you don't bang your head which you know when I fell out the bath and broke my wrist the bathroom isn't particularly big and I was really lucky that I didn't

hit my head because well you know who knows what you know so I was lucky that I just managed to land on my on my arm well my body but my arm kind of stopped my what it didn't stop my fall otherwise I wouldn't have fallen if it stopped my fall I'd still be standing up in the bath wouldn't I but it wasn't I was outside of the bath so I literally fell out of the bath I slipped I tried to stop myself by holding on to the the sink but the my hands were slippery

because they was wet and I don't even remember all I know is the next thing I'm on the floor and in a lot of pain but conscious so it's like okay well it was like that moment where you're thinking okay I'm now on the floor I'm on the floor in this bathroom and this is shortly after I moved in there okay what do I do now I'm naked if I've really hurt myself what am I going to do I'm in here on my own and the front door's locked from the inside no one's gonna knock

on my door no one knows me here no one's gonna knock to see if I'm okay and even if I was able to call someone how they're gonna get in and I don't want anyone to see me naked that's a rule I've had for quite a while and I just had to lie there again it's probably only for about 30 seconds that I was lying there trying to kind of figure out what to do next because I was hurting different places so I landed I injured different parts of my body and I didn't know which

part was really the bit that was hurting the most so I had to kind of do a body scan so I hurt my shoulder I hurt my hip I think I bashed my knee and my foot or some of my toes or whatever but then I realized that the thing that I was lying on which was my wrist was really really throbbing and I thought oh I didn't think it was broken not to start with because I just I don't assume that stuff I just think well okay there's a way to know if something's if

a bone's cracked or broken and which is pretty much the same thing really or fractured sort of it's kind of the same word for the same thing I think it's like you know a crack is a break you know a fracture is a break it's it's just different types you've got a clean break or fracture where it's kind of maybe broken different parts or you know it's where it's I mean a fracture can be a hell of a lot worse than just a normal break and a crack is kind of like a partial break I

guess it's not broken all the way through but it's cracked part of the way through still a still a broken bone it's just not maybe fully broken but you still can't use it it's still got to go through the you've got a cracked uh a cracked finger or you still have to or cracked bone in your arm you still have to have it in a cast probably you know I mean can't use it we can use it it's only three quarters broken that's okay well tell my pain that then because it bloody hurts tell god

tell it it's not really broken not broken properly you don't need to be I don't need pain the one thing I learned because I've had a few broken bones over the years what have I had I've had I broke my hand my right hand twice my left wrist once my I think it's my right foot once and my rib one of my ribs or yeah one or two of my ribs when I was doing Wing Chun Kung Fu there's not that many uh there's no I've never broken a big a big bone like an arm

or a leg thankfully but the wrist that was um actually the most debilitating the two most debilitating they were all debilitating because you know let's face it my right hand let's say no more on that one not being able to use that for six weeks come on um my left wrist now if it'd been my right wrist that'd be a problem left wrist or was it my right wrist no I'm pretty sure it was my left wrist so it didn't cause me didn't affect everything yeah I'm pretty sure it's my left wrist um the ribs

because you know every time I breathed or laughed or anything is like or moved it hurt and it was one of the ones at the top so it's almost although the ones at the top are smaller I guess than the big ones at the bottom I don't know but oh man because every time literally every time I breathed it was absolutely not pleasant and so that was difficult but you know eventually it did you know it all heals and stuff um but the foot so debilitating in the sense of getting around when I broke my

right foot I couldn't walk um I had to walk though so I had to get around but I was hobbling hobbling around for weeks and I had a I don't know if I had some kind of special did I have a little thing on it I'm not sure but all I did do you know I broke that I was running from the charity I used to work for I got a check and it was a check for um I think for Christmas the last week before Christmas and that I needed that money so I could

get Christmas presents and stuff you know so I got the check and I ran to the bank this was Friday evening and they were about to close when they closed at 5 30 or something and I had 10 minutes to get there and I ran it wasn't a long journey I'll admit it wasn't a huge but it was you know it was give and take give and take it was touch and go that's what I meant um head and shoulders I don't know but yeah so we I ran and I tripped on the steps of

the bank I mean it was almost the way it happens almost like I kicked the concrete steps with my foot as opposed to with my ears I don't know and it was the top of my foot that just just smashed right on the concrete and even though I was in absolute agony I still had to go to um I had to get in the bank and put the check in because it wouldn't be cash probably till the Monday but if I didn't get into the Monday it would have been too late so I think Christmas

was probably on the Wednesday that year so I had to does that make sense I had to get it in well I remember I went to the hospital I went to the walking center which is ironic because I um and they said yeah they examined it and they said yeah looks like it's broken so it's either broken or you got serious because it was really really badly bruised at this point it was kind of pretty much kind of black a part of the um and it's like a mixture blue black and red kind of a

mixture it's really a weird color all across the area that I bashed it and they said yeah it's it's hard to tell if it's broken or not um but you can you can you probably need to go to the hospital and get it x-rayed and I said okay and I had to walk now this is not a long walk between because it's part of the hospital grounds but it was the longest walk I've ever had because I couldn't put any weight on it even even resting on the heel of my foot was hurting the foot

and eventually I got to the accident emergency and this woman uh gave me I don't know she gave me an x-ray what did she say I'm not sure she said the x-ray machine wasn't working or somebody I think she gave me an x-ray no she examined it she said the same thing it might be broken now and then they gave me an x-ray and she says it might be broken I'm not sure so she clearly couldn't read the x-ray and maybe your foot's hard to read I don't know I mean I know a broken bone

the reason I can explain this really easily every every one of us as a child has been has taken lots and lots of little injuries hopefully I mean I know some people have big injuries but you know I'm talking about like just gentle stuff you know so falling over bashing your knee falling out of a tree okay that could be serious but you know a lot of kids when I was a kid we didn't have health and safety really back then we were just sent out to play and we would make our own games and

a lot of it would be in nature it would be jumping in out of trees wasn't really my favorite thing because I was so short and being even standing on the first branch of a tree the ground looked like it was like hundreds of feet down and so mind you if someone taller would look further wouldn't it I don't know so I was always getting into scrapes always had accidents and stuff but all my friends did as well as a standard falling off your bike and you know it's even the playgrounds were very very dangerous

back then there was a thing called a witch's hat and it got banned basically it was kind of like a little roundabout thing yeah you could push it around you get on it and it went round but also went up and down as well so it likes it's almost like a seesaw that went round but it was like a like a top they called it a witch's hat and so easy it was a lot of fun it was and it went really fast especially if people were pushing it and so it's very hard to get

off but it in some ways it was hard to get off but sometimes it was hard to stay on because it was going so fast and if you got too near the edge you go flying and I had I had accidents on there smashed myself up a few times when I was a little kid and I think that's the thing I did I was really smashed my face really you know quite badly but I was only little so but I remember having a like a bag of frozen peas on my face which was a bit

rubbish on there you've got no steaks mum oh we'll be eating the steaks we're eating the steaks later oh give you steaks on your face so she was from France and so I I know what it's like and everyone does you know what it's like to have like a minor injury you know a bruise but it hurts a hell of a lot and then the pain starts to subside it might take 10 minutes but generally that initial pain subsides quite quickly and then you're left with whatever is there and with a broken bone the initial

pain stays that in my experience and I've had a few and it stays that initial pain not forever but it stays for pretty much you know until you get treatment and but it's it the shocks not there though so the initial shock is like oh what's going on and then when you kind of get yourself kind of okay fair enough I've got to sort this out and then you know you get medical treatment but the initial the initial shock the initial impact that is still there doesn't subside the way that um even like jamming your

fingers in a car door like ah and then after like maybe 30 seconds starts to reduce a little even if just a little bit it reduces a little bit and then you know maybe a couple of minutes later it's maybe half of what it was like oh not the finger I mean the pain like oh okay and you can put it under the cold tap or like when you burn yourself you know you can put yourself on put your finger under a cold tap or your hand and it starts to soothe uh with with a

broken bone it just stays until you get sort of treated but when I had my foot I've still got the foot but when I took the foot to the I didn't take the foot to the doc to the hospital the foot was still with me I felt like I didn't have any bag um the nurse or whoever it was like I don't think she was a doctor but then you know I don't know if doctors necessarily know how to read x-rays I don't I don't know enough about that I figured someone working in emergency ward

would be able to read an x-ray because I thought that'd be a very big part of their everyday job because there's so much x-raying being done I just you know but anyway this lady wasn't sure wasn't sure if it was broken or not she said it may be broken it might be severe muscle like tissue damage or it might be broken and I knew it was broken because I could I couldn't move it and because of the pain but she I just ah so I said don't worry and I think she put it in she

gave me something I don't like something to wrap it in and then I just sort of left and I couldn't do anything literally I went to my dad's for Christmas and for the first time I never asked for a lift I sometimes get a lift back to the train station and especially if I've got like presents or you know sort of Christmas you know so I've got a few bags to carry but I was normally I just go there just walk it's not not a huge distance but that year I had to call my brother

I said just because he was down as well I said just please come and pick me up I can't walk I can't I just can't and I couldn't do anything I couldn't I just couldn't get about because it hurts so much so it was weird that was probably one of most debilitating although the first time I broke my right hand was in the early 90s I was 94 I couldn't work because I couldn't use my hand because that well part of my job was using my hand so I was literally I couldn't do the job

one-handed so I couldn't work so I lost probably about five six weeks worth of money that was a bit difficult to get through that period my rib I was yeah I couldn't work for a couple of weeks with that either and then when I did go back to work I couldn't do because I was working in a shop and I couldn't do any lifting I said to them I'd come back but I can only go on the counter I can't do any lifting because of my ribs and they were okay with that it was fine

and with my right hand the last time which is about three years ago it didn't really affect anything was it my right hand or my left hand no it's my right hand definitely my right hand um I've got to look at it it's still a bit distorted actually so yeah that that didn't really affect me that much my left wrist um because I had a brace on it he said that's another one yeah I went to the hospital I knew it was broken I didn't but I can't treat myself you know I can't um I

can't put a cast on myself and at the same time I can't really diagnose myself I'm not a medical expert I don't I just know what it feels like to have a broken bone so I went to the hospital I wasn't going to to be fair wasn't gonna go I was like oh I'm not gonna go but it hurts so much and I sat here so it happened probably in the afternoon probably about I don't know maybe two o'clock by five o'clock I couldn't take it anymore you know I just I was just I thought

no it'd be okay it'll it'll calm down I was I was in denial to be fair were you swimming no not denial I so I was in denial but then I just couldn't it was just too much so I went and it's quite a big bone actually the wrist really it's uh yeah it is quite a fairly big bone so I went to the hospital and again I had an x-ray by a doctor this time and the doctor says I'm not sure I said what do you mean now I can understand it if I like

had really fat wrists and you know the x-ray machine it was too so fat the x-ray couldn't get through but I've got a belly that's it the rest of my body's not fat seriously I know I joke about being fat but I haven't even really got a fat back I know I make out I think I've got big I don't know if I've got a big I've got a big fat bum possibly but I can't see that but at the same time I can tense the muscles in my bum right now not inside my bum

I'm talking about the buttocks I can tense them because I do squats every day in order to try and strengthen my lower back but in the process it seemed to be tightening up my buttocks which is of no use because I haven't got anyone to play with them to use them as bongos I don't know I don't I've got no one appreciate my firm buttocks because I can't because I can't see them if I could see them I could enjoy them I could enjoy looking at my own buttocks how weird would that be so I

anyway I yeah so I came home with my wrist and it was in a she she put in a sling all right put in the sling and said well I don't know so what do you mean she said I don't know just I'll put in the sling keep it elevated and um you know I'll we'll get we'll be in touch so what do you mean you'd be in touch so I'll refer it to the specialist tomorrow two days later I get a letter from the specialist you have a fracture in your left wrist um I

think maybe two and you need to come in because to have uh we just need to come in because we need to put it into plaster and also you may need surgery or something which is what he told I'm not sure they said that in a letter but he said that when I got there he said um you've got it's quite a bad break and it might need uh I might need to have surgery on it to he I think he's worried about it not kind of fixing properly and he said if I didn't need

surgery I'd probably definitely need physiotherapy but I didn't have either I didn't you know and I didn't go I didn't go back for the checkup I know you might say it's a bit weird but um I just and this with my hand as well they wanted me to go back because of the knuckle damage but like oh it's like apparently if you break the same bones twice it can cause problems and stuff but I just thought nah you know the same thing when I had a dog bite right dog bit the end of my little

finger off not my finger but he bit the nail off and it was it it was all ripped open and stuff not trying to be gross but it was all it's not a big it's a little finger you know and um I went to the hospital it's really weird out of all the injuries I lost more blood that day than ever but I went to the hospital and you know they removed the nail and stuff and it was like they cleaned it up bloke he was a wasn't a doctor or a nurse he was like

a health care worker it was brilliant he was so nice and anyway I had had that done the doctor who came and looked said um I had a tetanus injection and stuff he said yeah you're probably going to need plastic surgery I said what they said yeah it's because it's all deformed and because it's all split open and you you're going to lose your nail that's 100 you're definitely going to rip that out we've removed it so you've lost your nail you're going to need plastic surgery to well not you but you probably will need

plastic surgery to put it back to how it was before I laughed and he said what are you laughing for I said it's my little finger I'm not gonna have plastic surgery on my little finger he said what do you mean I said but it wouldn't be the first if I was gonna have plastic surgery don't you feel I'd have had it by now he said what do you mean he said look at my nose you feel I would have this face if I was gonna have plastic surgery you're gonna start on my face first

not my little finger that's not a priority mate that's that's way down the list in fact that's probably about 14 on the list of plastic surgery moments required for my for me he laughed so I said plastic surgery on the end of my finger come on seriously that's thousands of pounds isn't it that's going to cost for a plastic surgeon to be doing that like go away yeah but we can take skin off this part of your body what do you feel I want to have a bummy finger you want to feel like take skin

off my bum and put it onto my finger so every time I put a finger on my mouth I'm putting my bum in my mouth no thank you very much thank you very much no not today and the weird thing about it is yes so it's very scarred my little finger but it's a little finger there's like one let's have a look one two if you look at it you have to look at it to be fair because you know I move my things around all the time so you can't really see um I've like

I've got this little invisible piano with me all the time but I've got two scars one from my nail to the first kind of bend in the finger and then one on the other side and that's it and the nail did grow back ha ha ha so thank you very much it wasn't supposed to but it did and the nail is perfect absolutely perfect so even though I lost a nail I didn't how is that possible I don't know plastic surgery no you know what I've got no issues with scars we've all got scars everybody

not talking emotional but we've all got physical scars somewhere I mean on our hands we all had little cuts and bruises and stuff didn't we and I've got a scar on my left wrist can hardly see it now but I cut it open when I was at school make I was I was making a little canoe out of balsa wood and I slipped and um and it's still there it's tiny little scar had my appendix out so I got my scar in my belly so there's that what I didn't know that I had scars on

my head until I shaved my head for the first time in about 2000 and who was it 2003 probably and I've got you know I've got some scars and some dents in my head which I didn't know were there that was a bit weird it was like what what the hell is that where did that come from better done that I don't care it's just it's normal it's absolutely natural to have scars you know I don't think there's probably anybody in the world that hasn't got some scars on them somewhere I call them love lines

that's my little love I've got two on my little finger two little love lines that's it I've just talked enough about nothing for now just for now I'll get back and I'll talk about other stuff about nothing tomorrow so I should plan into the I just plan to get back and do be a bit more regular and yeah the last was it Wednesday so Wednesday I managed to get the podcast back and it's Saturday now so I think I did a podcast on Thursday night Wednesday or Thursday and then I can't remember but then now

so I've done two over the last three days yeah just you know so I will get back to doing more I promise you I promise you anyway I'm going to go thank you for listening remember remember remember to be kind to yourself do something nice for yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love bye