#684 Let me bore you to sleep - DECISIONS - Jason Newland (6th July 2021)

Hello and welcome to Jason Newland dot com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You to Sleep.

Please only listen when you can safely close your leg, eyes, eyes, eyes. That's it. Surely there must be something to talk about.

Trimmed beard. What do you think? I know. Sex pot.

That's what you're thinking, isn't it? Sexy. Ooh, sexy. No.

What day is it? Tuesday. Yes, Tuesday today. Tuesday the 6th of July 2021.

Well, this is my second day of not drinking Coca-Cola. And for some of you, you may think. So, what are you telling us there for? What would we want to know? It's a bit pointless.

Well, if you think that's pointless, you're in for a nice surprise. Oh, yeah. A lovely surprise.

Well, I was drinking four, five, sometimes six cans of Coke a day. And I found it was, I don't think. Now, I'm not a doctor.

I ain't no nutritionist, neither. But I'm thinking that it may not have been contributing to well health. May well being.

So, I've not been enjoying the Coke so much as late. I've been feeling a bit. I think just too much sugar, basically.

Too much sugar. Hasn't really been sitting on my stomach very, very easily. Well, you're drinking it wrong.

It's supposed to go inside your body. Yeah, I know. I know.

You ain't got to be rude all the time, have you? Maybe. So, I, yeah, today's the second day. Not had headaches or anything.

Sometimes I do. When I've quit in the past, I've had headaches. So, I've been fine.

I've been drinking more water, which is good. It's good. I've been drinking more tea.

Cups of tea. Don't normally drink tea. Normally, I have one cup of coffee when I get up in the morning with me.

Breakfast. And then, depending on whether or not I go back to bed and I get up again and I have another breakfast, I'll have two cups of coffee. But generally, on a normal day, like one cup of coffee.

One. And then that's it. Still got a bit of a cough.

I think really, I'm coughing a little bit, but I'll edit it so you don't hear it or see it. But I got the window closed, the door closed, so there's no air coming in. Normally, I have the door open and the window open, so the air flows through.

So, it gets a little bit stuffy. And the TV, I've got quite a big telly, so it lets off a fair amount of heat. In fact, this coming winter, we're gonna, I reckon it's, I won't need the heating on.

I think that will heat the whole flat up. It won't. I don't know why I said that, but it does definitely, it leads some heat off.

Earlier, I actually thought that the heating was on. I was sitting there and I remember thinking to myself, I think the heating's on. I must remember to mention that in the next podcast.

But it wasn't. It was the television. Even sort of, I don't know, a couple of foot away, I can, you can feel, well you can't because you're not here, but I can feel the heat coming from it.

As I said, it's, it's quite a, quite a big telly, so I guess that's just natural. But it's going to be handy in the winter, which means I'll perhaps won't have the heating on in here all the time. I've got itch.

Oh, that's better. So, oh, banging the microphone, sorry. I'm tired.

When I've done this recorded, I'm going to be going to bed because it's quarter past 10. I'm tired. That's the thing about not drinking caffeine mixed with incredible, huge amounts of sugar, is it can give you a bit of a boost, you know, give you a little bit of a lift, a little sense of pretend awakeness and alertness.

Now, I mean, that's, that's where all these energy drinks come from, isn't it? Caffeine and sugar, except, you know, they're not Coke. They're, I guess, they've got higher levels of caffeine in, but Red Bull and stuff like that all comes from the same, like Coke was kind of the, the original one. As far as I'm aware, I mean, I don't know, there might have been snake oil salesmen selling lotions and elixirs.

Tonics. Yeah, tonics. I suppose the two or three things today has presented to me is firstly a sore bum from yesterday.

What? Don't worry, it's nothing sordid. Not that that I don't think that it would be sordid anyway, if even if other people found something sordid, which would result in a sore bum. It's just that I'm not going to go into it.

I talked about it yesterday. But I've got some prune juice. It's much easier to talk about this when I'm not on camera.

I'm filming this, by the way, for those on the podcast. Why? I've got no idea. I filmed my other one, the one I did earlier.

And the relaxation and sleep hypnosis podcast or daily podcast that lasted for nearly an hour, that one, but I filmed it as well as recording it as a podcast. Now, that's in the process of uploading to my iStorage, whatever it's called, and then it needs editing. As will this one, because I've been coughing.

I have to edit it and I'm very lazy. So I don't. With Windows video editing, it was incredibly easy.

It was like really simple. Seriously, really easy. But I guess anything's easy once you get to use it, you get to know how to and I've got the Adobe cloud or everything that Adobe basically have, I've got to use.

I'm subscribed with the monthly £49. Not used it yet. Been with them for I think three months, but still not used them.

So that's 150 wasted pounds. I'm getting around to it. So anyway, so I ordered some prune juice, which will come tomorrow.

And then I've been working on the Patreon page. I spent two days working on this, actually longer, because I started a couple of weeks ago, but I spent a couple of days or last night and today. I still don't know if I want to do it.

Still not sure. I mean, people have been saying to me for years, get a Patreon. Get a Patreon.

I remember once I was literally had loads of messages from people saying, get yourself a Patreon. Get a Patreon. And I did.

Shared on Facebook. Nobody joined. So it's almost like I've got an idea you can get some money.

I'm a regular listener. Do a Patreon. But they're not talking about themselves joining.

They're talking about me doing it and someone else will join. So I had a lot of people suggested do Patreon. You get lots of people that love what you do will happily pay £10 a month or $10 a month for whatever, for extra stuff and you know, to support you.

But they weren't talking about themselves. They were talking about other people. I find that funny.

I don't know why I find that kind of quite amusing that they would. It's like stopping at a beggar in the street and saying, you need spare change. Yeah, you're hungry.

Yeah. Well, that person over there might have some spare change. Have a good day to roll for now.

It's like, yeah, have you tried asking them? I think you'd be successful. I think you need to just be a bit more forceful. Just ask.

Why don't you try playing the trumpet? That'll get a few more people over it. Would that mean you give me some money? No, no, I hate trumpets. People are strange.

Everyone's I'm strange. I just find other people's ideas. Yeah, try that people.

Why don't you sort of ask for PayPal? Most people send it to me ask for PayPal because people if they really benefit from what you do in them, they'll you know, offer maybe they'll help you with PayPal. But not one of those people ever said that ever actually paid helped me on PayPal. I've had a lot of people have helped me on PayPal.

And I'm grateful to every single one. It's really weird the amount of people that have said, try this. This is a good idea.

You'll be able to get money from this one. This is not trying to go on. And then like, I hear nothing from them.

I'm sure one that she said, how's it going with it? Did you try the Patreon? Did it go well? Well, no, nobody. Nobody went for it. Nobody joined.

Oh, I saw it on Facebook. I was really wishing you well for that. I was really hoping it went well for you.

Your idea for a good luck. Thanks. Don't ever become a first dater.

Yeah, it looks like you've got a broken leg mate. And internal bleeding. You need an ambulance.

I hope someone calls one for you. See ya. No stop call me an ambulance.

You're an ambulance. Yeah, yeah. See ya.

Previous Patreon. I actually have done a couple of Patreons and a couple of people did join and then I decided not to do it. So I just gave him the money back and I just closed it.

This was a few years ago. I remember because Boston Chicky is one of the people and that joined like straight away. But I sent the money back and was gonna keep the money.

I'm pretty sure I sent it back. And closed it. Yeah, Boston Chicky, probably not listening, but she's, she's been one of my long, long decade long supporters.

Yeah, I think it was 2011. We discovered each other. Yeah.

So yeah, I've been thinking about that. I've been working on it and working on it. And I'm not going to tell the addresses because it's secret.

Just trying to figure out how to do it best. The best way around it. I could go through with you the ideas I've had.

And off the top of my head, or I could grab a laptop from over there. My pile of laptops. I could grab a laptop and look through it.

So I'm using the iPad for recording this. I'm using the phone for videoing it at the moment. Although I will be using my camera.

I'll be paying it off. I'll have paid the camera off at the end of this month. And I still ain't used it.

But it's okay. It is it's okay. Some things are just okay.

It don't matter. It do not matter one twit. Because it's a bit of a balancing act.

This whole thing to make videos and to make podcasts. With the editing, with everything that's involved. And if I was just doing like one a day.

One a day I could handle. But I'm not. I'm doing generally two minimum.

Usually three on a normal day. It's not been normal last week. But you know, on a busy day sometimes four.

I've done up to five podcasts episodes in a day before. And that's very difficult to do all the work that's needed for that. All the images, all the uploading, the editing, upload all that stuff.

Then to do that for videos as well. For those same sessions. I don't know if it's even physically possible to do it within a day.

Just one person. It might sound like I'm exaggerating. And I probably am.

But in the same way, I'm possibly not. And a lot of that with the editing of the videos is I don't really have much experience. However, if I was editing like two, three videos a day, every day, it's not gonna take me long to start to get in the groove of knowing kind of what I'm doing.

The very basics of. Because it's going to be repetitive, isn't it? Like make a head in, edit, cut out the bits where I'm doing things I shouldn't on camera. Not that I'm doing things I shouldn't on camera.

I'm not like having little breaks where I'm messing the carpet up. I'm not doing anything weird. I'm just saying just coughs and stuff like that.

And it's Yeah, I guess it's it'll be it'll become I'll come quick, it will come quicker. The more I do it. It will be I mean, I suppose, potentially, I could use I could do use two laptops and process two videos at the same time, do one process it and then do another one process it and upload using the broadband internet and the other one for the mobile internet.

So I guess there's ways of doing it. I've got Yeah, yeah, there's different ways of doing it. It's different ways.

It definitely is. I mean, if I save it to the iCloud, I can upload the video from my phone, from my iPad, from the MacBook. Or I can upload it from the laptop, just normal Windows laptop, not a Windows laptop, but you Windows as opposed to iOS, or Apple.

So it's a juggling act. I need more tables. What I really need is enough tables so that all the equipment goes on the tables.

So I can kind of just skip from one table to another, not literally skip, but move from one table to the next and have all running simultaneously. So I'll do the editing on one, and then I'll do this on the other. And you know, because I've got three internet so I can use I could I can do more than one thing at a time.

And also got a PC, like a, you know, a bulky PC with a monitor and stuff, not bulky. It's inside the monitor base. It's very slow.

I got it and it was just not what I needed. And by the time I realized that I destroyed all the packaging and everything, but I'm going to get it speeded up. So at the end of the year, I will take it into a PC repair shop and get them to give it a vroom vroom makeover.

Because new, well it was new, I've only used it for a couple of weeks and then realized it's just, it's loud, it's got the wrong fan in, just didn't realize that when I bought it. I kind of wanted it for the bigger screen because it's got quite good screen on it. So I'm going to get that sorted.

And then I'll be able to use that as well. And then if I decide if I decide to stay here, I'm going to need probably a bigger screen, something I can perhaps put on on the wall or, you know, kind of high up. That's more due to eyesight.

I can do certain things on a small screen. I don't need a big screen. I'm not a gamer or anything.

However, you play games. But it would be just easier because I can do different things. And I can see all at the same time what's happening with what.

It sounds like I know what I'm talking about. I ain't got a clue. No.

What else? Oh, okay. I spoke to the man. Oh, look what I found.

A mask. Apparently, I think it's the 19th of July. So what is it? It's six now.

Six, seven, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 13 days, which I guess that would be not next Monday, the Monday after everything just goes back to normal. Apparently, normal masks, unless we want to wear them. I think I will keep my mask.

I won't be wearing it on the bus or public transport. No, I won't be wearing it. I just realized there's no place.

I think it's just a case if there's someone near me, that's sneezing and snotting and coughing and farting. Basically, you know, there's just there's a spraying out of every orifice. I don't want to be near him.

And if I'm stuck near him, I will wear a mask. I remember when they opened up McDonald's so that they could sell takeaways. This is back quite a few months ago, because they close it just to drive-bys, not drive-bys, drive-thrus.

And people were queuing for hours and hours to get served. Crazy. And then when they opened up for takeaway, people queuing for ages.

Or should I be like the young people now? They were queuing for time. They were there for time. I'm like, I'm like an old fogey.

Oh, what's wrong with the English language today? It's going to pot. Them young'uns, they don't know how to put a sentence together. So yeah, when they opened up, I waited a little while because, you know, every time I used to go to McDonald's, I'd go to McDonald's.

I'd go to McDonald's, I'd go to McDonald's, I'd go to the local shopping centre, which is a bus journey. I'd look over at McDonald's, longingly. A little bit of a semi, and I just like, ah, we could do a quarter pounder and cheese and a milkshake.

But the queue, the queue put me off. The queue really put me, I didn't, nah. And then one day, I missed my bus.

And then it was probably about a 45 minute wait to the next bus. And I thought, you know what? I'm going to go and get myself a damn burger. To hell with the queue.

So I did. I went, walked round. And the queue wasn't too bad.

Really, really bad. Really. Probably took 20 minutes to get in there.

And yeah, it's about 20 minutes from leaving the bus stop until I was back at the bus stop with my burger stuffed in my mouth. Which is okay. Okay, really.

So I remember standing in there. We had to stand on these spots. These yellow spots, I think.

So I stood where I was told to stand. I did everything I was told to do. Like a good little boy.

And there was this young man, teenager, probably. I don't know. It's hard to tell.

And he was standing there. He was at the counter, right? So I called him over. I called his name.

And he was just about to get his food handed to him. He went like that. Sneezed.

All over everything. Honestly. And he put his mask back up.

So it was like, isn't that the opposite? The very opposite of what you would do. But then, thinking about it, I've sneezed inside these things. And it's not pleasant.

Because it's, you know. I don't know. I remember the first time I went into, it was a public toilet.

But it was in the wimpy. It sounds like all I do is eat burgers. It's because I do.

All I do. No, it's not all I do. I go into other places.

You like public toilets, you perv. No, I don't. I don't.

I just, sometimes I got to urinate, you know. I'm a hooman, innit? A hooman with hooman needs. So I, it was when we first started having to wear these stupid things.

Now, I don't know why I'm indulging, telling you personal stuff about myself. But hey, I've been doing it for three years now. Why stop? Three years.

I've been doing it for 15 years. I've been talking about my life. My exciting little life.

Oh, give me a medal. What I like to do, when I'm doing a wee wee, I like to spit. It sounds gross, actually.

But I like to just, you know, clear my throat and empty my lungs and chest and stuff and get rid of anything. You know, I'm not really, I don't spit in the street or anything like that. Like a, like a homeless, but I, or football player, or there's lots of names for them.

And so I do it in the toilet, you know, I've always done that. It's a bit grim, but I mean, you know, the whole toiletry procedure isn't, it's not the nicest thing, is it? It's not really, it's not, yeah, it's not like pears and ice cream, you know, it's not pleasant. But anyway, so I'm just gobbing in the toilet.

I forget I've got the mask on. I gob in the mask. I basically in the mask and I pull it off and it's all over my face.

And I have to try and rinse the mask out because you could see it was wet. So I thought, how can I do something to try and to not be embarrassed myself? So I just told everyone as I was walking out that I dropped it in the toilet. I dropped it in the toilet, so that's why it's wet.

Bye. Big wet patch. Actually, perhaps I shouldn't have told them that.

Oh, well, why was I telling you that story about McDonald's? So that's it. Yeah, that's the thing. It's a bit weird, though, because the death rate's gone up.

I don't know. I've never talked about that on this podcast. So I won't.

I'll stop. But yeah, the 19th of July is the complete ending of all the lockdowns. I've managed pretty much for the whole of the two years or 18 months or however many months it's been to hardly mention, definitely not mention things like death rates.

For the first time, as I move away there, I've talked about wearing a mask and I've talked about various things concerning and connected to it. I've not really focused on the issue that, you know, the plague and stuff. I'm not really focused on that.

The plague. End of days. That's the end.

Notice I don't see any people walking around with those big boards anymore, saying the end of the world is nigh. No, pretty shitting themselves, aren't they? That was a swear word. Sorry.

Oh, my God. I didn't think it was really going to happen. I just wanted to annoy a few people.

So I guess the main thing on my mind today, not really the main thing, but I spoke to the man with the ferrets and he doesn't want to give them away one. He doesn't want to give one away. He wants to keep them as couples so that they stay with their family.

At least one stays together, you know, with another one, which I respect. You know, I understand why he explained it to me because he wants more money. Because, yeah, it's.

I mean, when I was in care, what does it come back to you, doesn't it? Why can't you just talk about the ferrets? What have you got to talk about your childhood for? Oh, you was in a child. You was in a children's home. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We've heard it all before. It's boring the first time. What are you looking for? Sympathy? Shut up.

Just get on with the story about the ferrets. Don't hear about you living in a children's home. Well, thanks for your compassion.

You're welcome. Get on with it. When I lived in a children's home.

Shut up. No, I did. I lived in.

And no, the reason I'm saying is they didn't split me and my two brothers up. They kept us together. I'm not saying that we're like ferrets, but there's something to be said about keeping siblings together, if at all possible, because I don't know, even if you don't like your brothers or sisters, you've got a connection, especially when you're little.

There's a connection there that you don't, you won't have with anybody else. Like brothers and sisters, and no two relationships are the same, but biological brothers, you know, they've seen each other every day of their life. You've grown up and you've been with your older brother, who's maybe two years older.

And you've seen him every single day of your life up to the age of 15 or something like that. And that's, that's a long time. That's a prison sentence.

That's life, isn't it? Really? So it's a long time. And there's a connection, you never lose that really, whether you get on with them or not, doesn't matter. There's a connection.

And I think keeping kids together, if possible, especially in care, but we'll talk about ferrets. Okay. They seem to have so much fun.

I watched a video of them. And he's got loads of them. He's got pole cats.

He's got also ones, evil ones with red eyes. I've got them. And I don't like them.

I don't dislike them. My cuddle one, the other, you know, a while back, lovely. I just don't, I'm not into the albino.

And ferrets, albino humans love them. When I see one, it's called licking. But I don't, not a ferret.

I don't know something. I just don't know what it is. I think it's the eyes.

The eyes are a bit scary, isn't it? Red eyes. I mean, come on. So if I get two girls, they're going to have to be done.

Because they have, it's a hormone thing. When they come into season, if they don't come into season, they don't get pregnant. When they come into season, they can end up getting a disease.

So that would be something that I would need to look into. If I got a boy and a girl, when they come into season, the boy will be trying to, actually, yeah, the boy will be doing what he wants to do with the girl. His sister.

Now I know that you may live in a place where that's normal, but I was gonna say not around here, but I'm not so sure. But not where I come from, you know, not my normal life. This little village I'm living in.

I think it might at one point have been compulsory. So, but generally, some of the people I know, I don't know, I think, I don't like the way that the male ferrets treat female ferrets when they're horny. I don't like it.

Now I know it's natural, it's nature and stuff, but I don't like aggression. And I don't, I taught Andre very early on to behave and to not bite. And he listened to me.

Usually, usually, but he didn't bite me. Usually. If he did, it was like a like a little snap, just like, it was like, it was little.

Or the only time I ever really, he ever bit me hard is when I was play fighting with him. And that was okay, because I, he got carried away. I got carried away.

He was biting me, I was hitting him with a hammer, you know, just normal stuff. And anytime I wanted him to stop, I just said gentle, just said gentle. And he stopped.

Instantly stopped, stopped everything, just laid there. So, I think one, sometimes he did like walk off saying, you're such a tease. Not man enough to take it.

You started it. So I'd stop, you know, I'd stop him if he was getting too, because sometimes my hands would be just completely ripped, the blood and stuff. But that was my own doing.

Well, I didn't do it, but I didn't bite my own hands. I've never been that bored to bite my own hands. So yeah, I don't know.

So two boys is probably the way I'd have to go. And then they'd probably have to be done. So I think that they wind each other up a lot.

So they probably would let off some stinks more than normal. Because they make each other angry, you know, one's asleep, the other one pulls the other one off, pulls him off. No, I'll rephrase that.

And one will be asleep, no one wants to play. And one will just grab the other one and just pull him out of his sleeping bag, or whatever, out of his bunk bed. And rocking chair.

And then you have one like this. And they just like start stinking, let off a big stink bomb. So that's a possibility.

I don't know. And also, I don't know if I've got the patience for two. Now, Andre, when he was a baby, destroyed my flat.

He destroyed my settee, destroyed the carpet. He, what didn't he do? He calmed down as he got older. But two of them, there's gonna, there's gonna be no stopping them.

They literally will have control. Andre was the boss of me. I'm literally going to be the third most important person in this flat.

If I get two ferrets. At the moment, I'm the first, for the first time. And it's incredibly boring, just being here on my own.

But then I'm thinking of moving away and I don't know. I mean, I'm just not sure. I'm not sure, man.

I don't know. I don't know. I'd like to.

I just don't know. I'm not sure. I'm not sure about anything at the moment.

Everything's a bit weird. I'm not over Andre yet. There's still stuff around me that I've not cleared up.

The Andre, the mess that Andre created and stuff. Still not tidied up. I've still got some of his balls on the floor.

These little like colored balls that he used to play around with. And he's been gone, what, five weeks, six weeks? It's very strange. I don't know.

I don't know. I think I might have, I'd be a bit of a nomad at heart. I don't know what it means, but I think it means a traveler or something.

I think. I mean, my heritage, part of my heritage is Irish. So there's a possibility that maybe going back far enough, I might have been a traveler.

Like a traveling, like gypsy traveler. So maybe there's that in my roots, you know, in my psyche. Because I have moved a hell of a many times.

Loads, like seriously, loads of times. 40, over 40 times since I left school. Anyway, well, I got interrupted then, someone at the door.

And I went for a walk around the block. Not something I would normally do during a recording. But I haven't been out of the house since, I can't remember.

I generally cannot remember the last time I left. Friday, I think. So I've been in here since Friday.

It's now Tuesday. So my friend just wouldn't know if I wanted to go for a walk around the block with a dog. So I did.

Plus it was human contact, so. And dog contact. And a few snails, and a hedgehog.

So I've got no idea what I was talking about. But I guess I'll just make it a bit shorter. Still 50 minutes long nearly.

I did an extra long one yesterday, I think. It was about an hour and 15 minutes. So this will make up for that.

Extend. Extension. So I'll upload this, or edit it, upload it.

And probably not long before I head to bed. So take care. Remember, remember to be kind to yourself, because you deserve to be happy.

Remember that. Lots of love. Bye.