#693 Let me bore you to sleep - HAVE A GREAT WEEK END - Jason Newland (23rd July 2021)

Hello and welcome to Jason Newland dot com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

Hope you're well. Hope you're doing groovy. Groovy McBoovy.

Hope you're happy. Is you happy? Is you well? Etc. Just seeing if I've got any messages.

Messages. No, don't seem to have. I do have messages but not for the credit card.

A £12 overlimit fee has been charged on your account. If you bring it up to credit it will be blah blah. I just paid £37 yesterday to them.

Stupid people. And what other ones have I got? Oh yeah, electric bill. Your bill is overdue.

Please pay £155.89 now. No. Thank you but no.

Bye. Not paying it. Not today anyway.

No. But thanks for calling. I got a message.

I got a phone call. I think it was yesterday. Was it yesterday? Yeah, it was yesterday.

From the COVID. The National COVID line. OK.

And this bloke's on the phone saying Hello. Hello. Can I speak to Mr Newland? Said yeah.

Can I just confirm the details? Well first of all, how do I know who you are? How do I know you're not just another scammer calling up pretending to be something you ain't? So I said I said what is it? What do you want? He said Well we need you to have your second jab earlier. Need you to book an earlier appointment. I said no need.

Already had it. Did it yesterday. Yeah, 11.20 yesterday.

OK. Bye. Thanks ever so much.

Love you. Bye. He's all confused.

He's all I don't know what went on there. We don't have any details of such an occasion happening. Well that's up to you.

I don't care. Yeah, I've jumped through your hoops. Then leave me alone to recover from my hoop jumping.

To be fair, other than a bit of tiredness and a little bit of stomach ache just a little bit of lethargicness no real reaction from the second jab at all. Other than a sore arm. And it's only sore when I lie on it.

It's only sore when I dig in with a knife and a chisel and a hammer. When I hit it with a hammer. And this really hurts.

But last time I did it with my right arm. Okay, I should explain. I had the injection in my right arm.

Which threw the bloke right out. Well most people have it in their left arm. Well you asked me.

He said to me, what arm? I said right arm. Really flummoxed it. Most people have it in their left arm.

So? How is that information going to change my life? What use is that bit of information to me? What possible? How can I use that in a conversation with somebody? This is a bit of information. This is something you won't. This is going to blow your mind.

Most people when they have the vaccination jab thing. Are you sitting down? Are you ready for this? Most people have it in their left arm. Ooh! Jabs in arms.

That's how the government talk about it. Jabs in arms. Jabs in arms.

Just vaccinations. Can't call it vaccinations. No, we have to be specific and tell you exactly what happened.

A jab in an arm. Why be specific about the body part? It's a vaccination. All vaccinations as far as I'm aware generally in the arm.

I might be wrong. Maybe some go in the bum. I don't know.

Generally, I don't know. I'll put my glasses on. The brightness is glaring on my retina.

What's that noise? Hmm. So yeah, I had my you know lying on the left. Was it? Yeah, because I had it on my left arm.

Lying on my left side hurts a little bit. It's not even that big a deal. It just feels just like a bruise I guess.

But my right arm didn't seem to be bothered by it. But then I was a little bit unwell for over a day with the last one I had. But this time as I said I mean I said to this bloke right I tell you the problem with I don't want to say the NHS but doctors and nurses and stuff is I think because of the suing the litigation possibilities these days there seems to be a deal of maybe too much honesty where doctors and maybe nurses will tell you more information than you need to know.

Like if something's going to hurt they'll tell you it's going to hurt. Like when I was a kid they'd say oh you'll just feel a little sensation and they'll play it down and maybe it did hurt a little bit but it wasn't the tension and the stress and the expectation of pain was lessened because of the gentleness by either the doctor or the nurse involved having an operation it didn't tell you well you might die you know you might die this might happen this might like it didn't go for all the things that could go wrong. You know you used to just like be positive like yeah it's going to be fine.

I've done this operation I've heard doctors you know talking to other patients like look I do this all day long it's fine I've done loads of operations like this. It's fine you're going to be absolutely fine before you know it you'll be awake and you won't be you'll have a bit of pain but it'll be a lot different from the pain you're in now.

It'll be a lot less you'll just have the pain from the operation from the cut that we made but the actual pain from the illness that's causing you from the pressure that'll be gone and you'll be feeling a lot better but nowadays it's almost like well we've got to tell you you know the anaesthetic let me first give you the dangers of that and then this and then that like I don't know why I'm talking about that but that's where hypnosis comes in.

I know like people all hypnosis people think it's this airy fairy bloodly kind of witchcraft it's witchcraft the devils work but it's not really it's just basic psychology very very very basic in a way is if you get told by somebody that you really trust a doctor for example or a dentist or you know someone that you trust I'm not saying can dentists be trusted I don't know but you know let's say you've got a family doctor you've been going to see him for years and years and he or she says to you take this

medication and you're going to feel fine you'll be fine by the end of the day the next couple of days is going to ease off and then after three or four days you're going to be absolutely back to normal just take the tablets three times a day with food make sure you drink plenty of water and you're going to be fine that enough that connected with the tablets in fact that connected with placebos in possibly 40-50% of people would be enough depending on the situation and the physical condition and stuff they use the word placebo

I use the word hypnosis you get me anyway that's enough education for one recording don't want to educate people too much on this stuff because then you start to realise that what I do is very simple and it's not hard at all and I want everyone to think that it's complicated and it really isn't it's so simple that's why I love these idiots that sort of say I don't believe in hypnosis well what do you think advertising is?

what do you think manipulation is?

you know I don't believe ok ok I think it's the word I think if you explain the actual conditions and the scenarios and the various aspects and results that could be gotten from specific maybe techniques etc then that would make more sense but when you add the word hypnosis it all kind of flies out the window the devil's work oh yeah it's the devil's work but hey I'm not here to talk about hypnosis baby no I'm not I'm here to talk about me me me I did have a I did have a massage from somebody

I did have a message from not much I want to say hello to William Rachel Annika also say hi to Kathleen say hello to Kissy ya baby hello to all of ya hello to Amy if Amy's listening Amy come back to me baby Amy or Boston Boston come back to me baby in Boston or I don't know a bunch of people hello to everybody everybody so the main thing I've been doing is continuation of what I've talked about last time it's Friday the 23rd of July 2021 today it's 21.

14 in the evening it's 9.

14 for those that aren't in the military and it's or who weren't in the sea cadets as a child I am still in the process of sharing my podcasts to YouTube and I've nearly completed most of the podcasts except the Let Me Boy To Sleep and there's only 600 still to do on that one so that's probably going to take me another week to upload those because it's quite time consuming I don't have to do anything while I'm doing it I can do it and then do you know there's any huge activity involved but it's

just you know it's kind of keep looking at the computer and then sharing it and put it into the playlist and stuff so the idea is once the YouTube channel is full I'm probably going to upload all my Jason Chat videos as well but what I'll do I'll do that a little bit differently so I'll upload them all on private put them into the playlist in order and then I'll put them all public so although instead of everyone getting bombarded you know over like three days as I upload them you just get bombarded once and

that will be it because I've got probably I don't know 30 there might be more I've got a collection of Jason Chat videos from years ago I just want to stick them on YouTube just so they're there in the same way that I've got a lot of my old videos that I just left on only the ones that are kind of fairly decent quality I got rid of a lot of the ones that weren't but the Jason Chat videos are usually pretty good quality because it's just me, the video camera right in my face and

I'm just talking at quite a louder volume than I would do in the hypnosis session so that the volume is better and the picture is okay and all that stuff some of them were done on a video recorder as well and a few of them a lot of them I think had Andre on them so that's another reason why I want to upload them because Andre is on he's pretty much on every Jason Chat I've done since 2015 or November September time when I got him so since I had him I might be able to

find some old, old, old videos of him when he was tiny not that he was ever big but you know when he was little little little but that's just something I'm going to have to look for look for, look for look for, look for look for there's also some videos that I found on I think it's dailymotion dot com it's a video channel that no one uses and it's been around for a long, long time and for a while it was popular it really was, I mean really, there was another one was it Nescape it

was another one that was I used to put videos on and I'd get thousands of views within an hour I mean seriously there's been a lot of popular video channels but they never they never lasted or never you know, never kind of succeeded and because of YouTube no doubt but this one's still there but it's just there it's just and I've got some videos that have been on there for a long time and some of the videos are the first videos, some of the first videos I made going back I think the earliest one on

there is April 2007 I think it is and there's me I think it's black and white video on a webcam and I'm doing a pain relief recording, there's another one relaxation recording Blimey baby and I think I've got like 30 30 plays or something stupid like that and I find that interesting I really do I really do really, really, really do find it phenomenally exciting so I'd perhaps look because I did download them at one point so maybe I'll look to download them again and maybe stick them on YouTube just like as a old videos

archive you know because they used to be on YouTube because in fact I was doing it on YouTube I was doing it on those videos were probably the first ones I ever put onto YouTube at the beginning of 2007 because I think that's when I first discovered YouTube in 2007 yeah, yeah that makes sense Fifteen bloody years ago bloody hell, bloody, bloody bloody six did I say six years ago?

fifteen years ago no six fourteen years ago it's only fourteen years not a long time really is it no fourteen years I've wasted I've wasted fifteen years of my life doing this stuff making recordings trying to help people with hypnosis and pain relief and bloody heck I could have I could have I could have been somebody man I could have I could have been successful I could have, I could have I could have, I could have honestly I could have but I never, I never did you know it's weird that even when I was doing

my degree training full time three years full time degree training to become a counsellor and to try and you know create a career for myself the main thing I was interested in was this making hypnosis sessions, videos podcasts and helping people offering a free service that's the only thing not the only thing but that's the main thing that I was interested in above everything else even when I was you know trying to well I did get a degree but you know trying to do that, trying to change my life and to become to actually accomplish

something I never really believed was possible I didn't believe I could get a degree I always thought I was stupid and dumb and thick and unintelligent and a bit brain damaged actually so I never really believed that I had the capability to accomplish the level of education required to get to that well to pass and I did just about but I did only just but I still did it and even though my whole life was aimed around that degree course I was still focused on this and back then I didn't have the audience I have

now I did have an audience just a different audience some of the audience is the same well probably maybe none of it but to be fair but there's some people a lot of people have just wow can you imagine someone listening to me 14 years ago when you think about it I was only 35 yeah I was only 35 years old 35 and 4 months when I started this I was a baby I was a baby baby I was a baby 35 years and 4 months old when I started making recordings and making videos and

now I'm nearly 51 it's kind of crazy isn't it I mean if only I'd started this earlier yeah it would have been weird I mean I couldn't have done it that much earlier not doing it this way I mean really the internet wouldn't have even in 2004 I did experiment with doing this to make a recording and because I was making recordings for myself in 2003 to help me to relax and I thought well maybe if I put this on my website because I had websites back then as well I've had websites since 2000 many

many many many many many many many many many many websites I mean I'm talking lots I'm talking probably yeah over 100 I've got over 100 websites I mean I'm talking different domain names over the years probably over 100 I've got one now that's it most of my life in the last 20 years, 21 years I've had a few domain names but at the moment just one one's enough at the moment, one's enough for now I mean there was a time when if I released a, you know let's say in 2000 and 2008 I think it

was maybe 2009 I did a recording for Stop Smoking and it was I spent 2 weeks solid making this hypnosis course for Stop Smoking it's available on my website no it's not it's available on my podcasts Stop Smoking podcast 28 Days Stop Smoking now the quality of the sound is pretty good because I spent 2 weeks editing the thing like recording it editing it, going through and deleting sounds, adding changing, like if there was a word that wasn't particularly clear or maybe the door rattled from the wind when I spoke that word I'd re-say the

word and I'd add it in, paste it in which is the kind of thing they'd do in a recording studio or at least that's what they did when I went to a recording studio because I've been to a recording studio twice I made what did I do twice why do I remember it being twice I remember once anyway I definitely went once I made three three CDs professional CDs in my head they were professional and I did them all in one sitting or I might have gone back twice I can't remember but I did relaxation

pain relief and sleep all lasting for about 40 minutes and the editing is the bit that takes quite a lot of time and I wasn't pleased with the end result you could hear rain on the tin roof a tin recording studio with a tin roof I'll say that one more time a place that's soundproofed inside recording things that need to be soundproofed and not have any outside sound I've got an idea let's put a tin roof on top so every raindrop echoes through the valley and how ridiculous is that blimey blimey very surprised so I

what was I going to say yeah I wasn't pleased with the end result of those I sold them and then I ended up giving them away so I put them for sale on my website and then I just gave them away so it cost me I'm not sure I'm not sure if I spent £500 on the recording studio and the equipment it might have been £250 yeah I think it might have been maybe £300 or something it might be £500 I can't remember I borrowed the money to do it and I ended up giving them

away because there's a real part of me just doesn't want to charge anyone for anything I don't want to sell things I don't I'm not a seller does that make sense I used to be a sales person but I'm just not really I do sell myself of course I don't mean in a rent boy way but I don't want to sell for me if I'm going to give someone something I give it to them that's how I see it a friend gives me something give it to me don't expect any money for it I don't

think friends should sell things to each other just give it to them if you've got a settee or like my friend downstairs he's given me settees he's given me chairs he doesn't try and sell them to me but some people just sell this I want to chuck this vacuum cleaner away because I've got a new one now wait a minute I'll sell it to my neighbour I'll see if I can get 20 quid just give it to him just give it away go on give it a try you might like being kind you might enjoy

it you never know unless you're one of those those charity begins at home people that don't understand what the word charity means charity begins at home there's no smoke without fire it was meant to be everything else for a reason charity begins at home what other ones are there pointless cliches that make no sense oh there's so many isn't there I'm going to collect a little collection together one day that might be one of my books I want to get a book I want to write a book and just make fun of each individual you

know those stupid sayings like no smoke without fire I mean I think it's just laziness people say stuff like that because it's lazy they're not actually thinking they're not using their brain they're just spurting out that's the same mentality of people who say I'm not racist but and then whatever follows after the but it's just almost identical whoever says it it's the same stuff it's all just like immigration what is it well you know when they come here from other countries they come over they get given a mobile phone their own house, their own council

house they get given your wife, you take your wife away and give it to them they take your legs and give it to them as well they take all our food they give them gold everything shut up shut up you get everything no they don't blimey I think if I was if I was a refugee knowing what I know about this country I don't think I'd want to come here with the animosity you know with the attitude towards people yeah I mean it's a great place from some perspectives I'd rather go somewhere like Sweden or

Norway somewhere a bit friendlier possibly this is not a friendly place for refugees not really a lot of it's hidden a lot of it's like the the opinions I need maybe come out when there's a group of people together and they feel safe they feel safe enough to be horrible, to let their horrible side out yeah bloody immigrants refugees, that's the thing everyone gets all connected together so anyone, refugees immigrants, people who have lived all their lives like fifth generation even, everyone's like one group it's like no what are you doing stop it we're all

immigrants this is England, in England we're all bloody immigrants there ain't no one there is we're not, I mean I wonder if you can trace anybody actually that is an original Britain in this country whose blood goes back to an original Britain someone that was here right from the start as opposed to a Viking baby or a Vikings baby or a Romans baby or I'll lose track if I'm honest with you, there's so many isn't there, there's so many I don't think I do, I reckon I reckon I'm kind of Roman there's definitely a bit

of Roman I've got Irish blood from my Nan's side but that's only a quarter of me you know, there's the other three quarters so my Dad's, my Grandad's side, he was English and then my Mum's side her Mum was I think French and then her Grand, her Dad's side he was English, so both my Grandparents, Grandfathers were proper Londoners but again, how far back they went to they could have been from anywhere, who knows although I don't think there was that much travelling back then you kind of lived, especially if you were working, well whatever

working class used to be you know, 200 years ago, but you pretty much you lived and you were born and you stayed in the same place you had kids and then they just grew up and had kids and then they had kids and that was it just continued like that and everyone sort of stayed where they were everybody knew their place and nowadays it's fairly cheap to just move around don't need a huge amount of money to go abroad or to just even travel to the next town, when you think about it 200 years ago,

300 years ago, 500 years ago how are you going to get to the next town maybe it's 40 miles away that's like space that would be like travelling into space for some people they probably didn't know that anything existed past the mountains or past the hills or we don't go near those hills or we drop off the planet we drop off the face of the earth that's the end of the planet that is that's the end of the earth, those hills there we don't go over there not realising that over the hills there was a

McDonald's no McDonald's Burger King and a Pizza Hut I don't know it must have been strange to be to have such a such a small world really yeah, a small world I don't want to say small minds because you know, just because someone lives in a small small environment doesn't mean they've got a small mind not all the time I mean it does I think it doesn't matter where you are if you're able to dream dream the dream plan to do something different yeah I had dreams because I used to live in I've lived in

big towns, cities big cities villages villages little towns I've been around I've been around and living in a small town is when I lived in a small town there was a lot of very limited thinking people and I think it's part of the safety it's like a bubble you live in a little town it can be a bit of a bubble that's kind of what you know and your outside knowledge comes from the news and because the news is so negative it almost makes people perhaps not want to leave their little town because very little

of that horrible stuff happens in their little town you know going up to London everyone oh no not going to London no I'm not going to end the sentence it's like we know what happens in London so I just I've heard people say it I remember when I moved to London to do comedy and came back I used to come back every now and then I've got family that still live in that little town and this friend of mine that I used to work with lovely bloke he really is just lovely and I remember him

saying I said you should try getting away you know even if it's just a visit just do something different go to London and I remember him saying he was with his girlfriend outside a cash machine actually probably about 1992 and he said you don't miss what you never had do you no never miss what you never had I've never been there so don't miss it never been there ok so I'm just like ok fair enough he said I just reason because I've never been there how can I miss something I've never seen I can't miss

eating something I've never tasted I said no I get it it's fine so I said well anyway it's good to see you he said no no but I can't miss a book or a movie if I've never seen a movie I haven't missed it if I've not seen it how can I miss something I haven't seen I get it mate I get it just leave it now you know what I mean it's good to see you I was just saying you should visit London because there's lots to do there how would I know that you

could say there's lots to do there but I don't know there's lots because I've not seen it I said ok just let it go breathe that's it stroke the dolphin stroke the dolphin and breathe where did you get the dolphin from don't worry about it and so there is quite a small it's kind of like it's not that people are unintelligent or anything it's just the collective mind of the town is small the individual minds I'm sure are just you know sort of normal I guess but the collective mind seems to be small so when

people get together there's like a smallness because you know say you're only as intelligent as the stupidest person like in a group that seems to sort of or you're the weakest link kind of situation so when you collective get together almost seems to dumb down the group to that like the simplest person seems to be the average when they're together but you get that when you see blokes out together or girls out together drinking and having a time in their life because they're not using their brains anymore they're just having fun, they're just being simple

and just having a brilliant time because collectively they're at the lowest level of intelligence while they're out having fun and that's a good thing I think it's a good thing because you know if we all get too stuck in thinking all the time then we'd never have any fun would we I guess if all we do is think because when you think you realize the consequences of your actions which means I don't know I find that the more the more I think about consequences of my actions the less I actually do because then I'm concerned

oh I'll upset him, I'll upset her blah blah blah what about the future, what about the knock on effect to this how will this affect that and blah blah blah blah blah and then end up doing nothing instead of getting together with a group of people and dumbing down and this just laughing at stupid things that aren't even funny but because you're dumbed down, you're having a few drinks you're having fun and it's needed as well you know it's just really needed not the drinking bit you don't need to alcohol is not necessary to have

fun only for alcoholics anyone else can have fun without drinking if they want to they might not realize it but they can and an easy way to prove that to anyone is and don't do this by the way because it's cruel but invite a friend round who thinks that he or she can only have fun if they drink and give them non-alcoholic lager all night, see how much fun they have my suggestion is don't tell them that it's non-alcoholic lager because and it's quite a cruel thing to do it's a very yeah I had it

done to me when I was about 16 and still not recovered actually still I was so drunk I was doing all kinds of weird things and then turns out that I wasn't drunk and it was a big joke now I should have just kicked off I should have done I should have just smashed the place up but when I shouldn't have done I'm saying I was 16 you know I shouldn't have said that I should have reacted a bit more strongly but I didn't I was very upset, very very upset and humiliated that's the word

humiliation so yeah don't do it because it's humiliating and I think humiliation is one of the things that's sometimes hardest to overcome because I just don't think we should mess with people we shouldn't mess with each other like that you know I remember once I was in a garden just reading a magazine or reading a book or something or I might have just been meditating this was back in 94 summer 94 and I was just there and someone that I lived well actually he wasn't even I lived with but he used to come round I

ended up living with him and he just chucked a bucket of cold water over me from the roof see that's messing with someone it's unacceptable and I'm getting all serious now but it is it's funny and some people love that stuff some people say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit no practical jokes are the lowest form because you're basically laughing at someone else's suffering you might say oh it's not suffering, well it is making someone jump making someone doing something to cause someone distress even if the distress only lasts for a few seconds it's

still suffering and it's still even if it's no matter how funny it might be I'm not really into practical jokes for me I remember I've been on the end of them and I've done them as well I've done my fair share of practical jokes but I'm a bit more sophisticated I like to leave people flummoxed or to start a rumour not now, I'm talking about when I was younger when I was a bit naughty a bit more playful I'm very boring now I don't do anything I only know myself so I can't really do a

practical joke on myself can I?

I'll have to wait until I get older and my memory starts to go then I can start to set myself up put a bucket of water at the top above the door or something like full and then go to sleep and I wake up and you know because I'll be older maybe my memory's not what it was and I'll forget about it and I'll walk in and I'll just get covered in water so I'll be able to maybe do practical jokes on myself but at the moment I'm unfortunately not able to do that but I

think the thing I didn't like is people that pull chairs out you know when someone's about to sit down and pull a chair out and they fall on their bum that hurts that kind of stuff is again I think for little kids it's hilarious if an adult finds it hilarious then they're I don't know got something wrong with them I think mind you it is quite funny no it's not see to me it'd be funny if it was like an old lady or an old man and you know it was done to or someone maybe

in hospital or something that's the way my brain goes if it was like extremely inappropriate then probably I'd laugh and not just out of you know not meaning to laugh but just what if I knew they had piles or something but it's just like to me that's just cruel and it's I've had it done to me and that's someone that just needs locking up I just need to be removed from the planet possibly an extreme reaction but there you go what I like to do is I used to like to spread rumours or what I

used to like to do not rumours about people by the way I'm not into that not into sort of that cruel stuff but rumours about so if you're working somewhere rumour about what's going to happen but it has to be the best rumours are the ones that are based on truth so starting with the truth and then expanding it into something that could happen now it backfired in my very last job that I had because what I said actually did happen and I didn't know I didn't realise so I was going around saying to people

yeah we're being made redundant they're closing up they're getting rid of that whole this whole department because I gave them a month's notice so I was bored I wasn't going to do much work why would anybody pay someone or want someone to stay in their job for a month you know they're not going to do the job properly really if anyone employs people pay them the month's money give them a cheque kick them out of their office not kick them out just say yeah don't do that that's horrible as well like escort them out with

a security guard that's just pathetic you know unless they're causing problems I had to do that once when I was a security guard and they said oh yeah the bloke he won't leave he's been sacked and he won't leave you need to escort him out so I had to go and kick him out and escort him out I had to apologise to him I said look I'm sorry about this mate I just chatted to him before I said like I know this is humiliating but you know there's nothing I can do it's my job and

just walk together we'll chat and stuff just leave otherwise I'll tase you and but yeah I said to the people we're going to make everyone redundant didn't realise they were going to make people redundant and they did close whole departments and I got called into the managers office like the big managers office he wasn't big I mean he was average size but you know he was a big he was the boss the big cheese cheeseburger and he said what are you doing?

I said what? he said are you going around telling people that the place is going to get you know made redundant and stuff I said I don't know what you're talking about he said yeah you do and he told me who told him because basically I didn't go around telling people I told one person and this was the biggest gossip in the whole place so I knew who it was I still remember his name but he worked in the sales department and tell him one thing and before you knew it 300 people knew so I just said it to him in just in passing are you alright mate?

and I said I didn't even say it just I said I can't believe I can't believe that they're going to make redundant make the whole department redundant start making redundancies through the sales force and through the renewals and stuff and I'm not even sure if I said it to him or I just said it yeah I must have said it to him I was going to say if you ever heard but that would have been me talking to myself and my boss said you can't go around telling people stuff like that and start on rumours

like that I said what are you going to do sack me I'd already given my notice in I had probably two weeks left and he said well for me can you stop because I did get on with him and I said alright I was only joking I didn't realise it was actually going to happen and the whole place closed down a couple of months after I left I mean in job interviews obviously I said it the company closed down because they couldn't couldn't handle me leaving you know I couldn't cope they crumbled I was the

scaffolding so yeah I used to do the same thing at school I'll tell you what I've liked to do I don't do it anymore because I don't have any communication with people but I listen to what people say I'll pick up little bits of information and then I use it and I pretend to be psychic because people don't realise that other people first of all can hear what they're saying honestly I hear people on the buses sometimes on the bus like young women or boys or whatever talking so loudly about someone in front of them

almost like they're do they think they're invisible or something I don't know so people say stuff and they don't seem to realise other people can hear so I'll get a bit of really really random information there's no way I should know about something that's really a bit peculiar about them so it might be to do with let's say someone's bought a carpet or they've they're you know they've got like this weird a broken chimney or something weird there's no reason I'd know about it I don't know I'd wait I'd wait a week or two and

I said I had a dream about you did you?

yeah and I think it was one of those psychic dreams what do you mean psychic dreams? because that's what everyone talks like I said well I have a lot of dreams that come true that are real really? yeah what was the dream about then? the dream was about a broken chimney and it was you and you were sitting there and you you were worrying about it or something and you were concerned about fixing it and something about smoke coming in when the fire's lit and just you know it comes in and you're concerned about your little boy breathing in the smoke how did you know all that?

you got that from a dream? blimey you are the new messiah so you know I like to do that because it really throws people off because if I've listened to what they've said you know from a distance and some people say stuff and they blabber on and they forget what they've said and if you wait a day or two and you say I bet you I can tell you this just by looking at the palm of your hand I can tell you a bit of information about you that no one else probably knows or very few people know and they do and it's like oh and I say hey you used to have a dog called Woofie how did you know that?

see it might just be a bit of information I heard someone talking about in the cafeteria and ok I had microphones hidden all over the place in the toilets and stuff like that but you know the point is it was a good trick and now saying it was a good trick that excuse did not hold up in court because apparently bugging the toilets is frowned upon but you know still I thought for me that was like magic you know what I mean magic just like this recording, every recording means magic magic to me so yeah

that's it another hour wasted I gotta go, I'm gonna say goodbye I'm gonna cook myself some din dins to eat yum yum yum yum right remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love bye