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Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com, my name is Jason Newland and this is let me bore you to sleep, oh yeah, please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. If you would like to support this free service please go to paypal.me forward slash Jason Newland and the links on my website and on my facebook page and just to let you know all of my recordings are available on my website and you can stream them free, you can also download them free, so you can download them to your iPad, your phone, your tablet, your computer, your, I don't know, trying to think what else, whatever things you can download stuff to. So let me start off by reading some messages.
So I've got a message, it's a person called Maria, just message me out the blue. Hi Jason, how are you doing? I'm really bored tonight looking for someone to make friend with. I think you wouldn't mind being my friend Jason.
Is this someone that's just added me as a friend yesterday? So I said, and then there was another message, GM, whatever that means. I don't really do like letters, if that makes sense, I don't, just, I do words, I do a word. GM is that, what is that? I said, hi Maria, do you listen to my podcasts? And she replied, how was your night? And I hope you slept well.
No I didn't, what's up about it? And then she phoned me, twice, and I answered the call. She phoned me on, you know, Facebook, and couldn't hear anything twice. Then she sent a message, I can't hear you, why ain't you saying anything? And I said, I was, but I couldn't hear you.
Okay, so how are you doing? So I did a thumbs up. And then another one just, well, just now, can we get to know each other if you wouldn't mind me asking? So I'm going to put, hi, what would you like to know? So I sent that message. I don't understand it.
Anyone that contacts me is usually people that, well, it's always people that listen to my podcasts, or my recordings, or watch my videos, or whatever. That is just kind of random. And I don't understand.
And, so I got a couple of messages. Ben said, morning, Jason. You must have a crystal ball or something, as me and the wife said to the kids, where do you want to go for the weekend? Do you want to go rock climbing, or to the castle? And guess what? The kids wanted to castle.
I have weird kids. Weird as you only talked about it the other night. Don't know what you did last night, but I fell asleep straight away.
Was more boring than normal. Keep up the good work. Can't wait to listen to boring you to sleep.
And I like the new five hours. Even if I do stay awake and listen to you. I have some chill out music to fall asleep after.
Have a great day. Thank you. And so I just replied.
Yeah. So yeah. Thanks, Ben.
Karen wrote. Okay. Yeah, Karen was one of the people that asked me to do longer recordings.
And so she wrote, I have gone to click today's podcast and see the time is longer. I will let you know if I wake in an hour or in the morning. So I thought, okay, I'll look into that.
And, you know, because that's why I did the extra long recordings just for Karen. It's an idea. A couple of people have asked me in the past, and I've looked into it in the past.
It was just, I don't know how I'm going to do this as a 300 megabyte limit. And there's, you know, how do I do five hours and less than 300 megabytes, which is quite a long time, five hours. Anyway, I managed to do it.
Yeah. So I said, Oh, there you go. I've done all that.
She said, Oh, you are my star from a far. If we were closer, I'd buy you a coffee. But it's a bit far away from where I live, because I live on Mars.
Having a stressful time with moving. When you say let go. It's when you say let go.
This is actually the only time I start to relax. So cool. Just relax and to not care what time you fall asleep, or when you fall asleep.
I say that's the point. That's my kind of thinking around it is when you're all thinking about what, you know, what time I'm going to fall asleep and will this be longer and stuff. Fair enough when you're awake and you're thinking about but when you're actually in the process, or you're in your bed and you've, you know, you've rubbed all into your body, whatever you do before you go to sleep, you know, covered yourself in feathers.
So just that isn't the time to be worrying about anything. This that's not the time to be thinking about. I wonder how long I'll sleep for one how long it'll take me to get to sleep.
I wonder, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's not a time for that. It's a time to not care about anything the time you're in your bed till the time you get out of bed, you know, providing, you know, this the time that you've allocated to recuperate to regenerate to heal to sleep.
You know that time that you've allocated. There's no room for caring about anything. There's no need to care about anything to think about anything.
This is just your time to just chill out, relax, enjoy feeling relaxed. If you see if you're lying there thinking, Oh, we're gonna go to sleep. Yeah, I'm gonna go to sleep.
Yeah, not saying that anyone is doing that, but I've done that in the past. That's not going to do any good. Honestly, it's not going to do any any no use to it.
You might as well get out of bed and watch telly or do something interesting. So part of, you know, the reason why I do these boring recordings is because ultimately listening to somebody else rambling on about their own life is pretty tedious. And I know that I liven it up a little bit sometimes by some of the things I say and but it's still boring.
I probably have one of the most boring lives. There is, you know, apart from someone living in a prison cell. But to be fair, they probably got more exciting life than mine.
But it's a different kind of excitement that I wouldn't want. But I have no excitement. There's pretty much no stimulation for me.
Luckily, I've got a stimulated mind that self stimulates. So I'm okay. So when I talk about my life, the idea is it's boring.
I've had a very boring life. And that's why I talk about it. And that's why the idea is for your mind to switch off from your own stuff, because you're focusing on my voice.
And even though I'm not really saying anything of any point, really, it's both a distraction. And also, the way our minds work is if you get bored, and there's nothing else to do to grab your attention, you just gonna fall asleep. So what I would say is possibly if if there's anyone listening to this, and they're in your mind, you know, you're focusing on what's on your mind and stuff, then focus on my voice.
Because if you're not going to focus on my voice, what's the point in playing a recording with my voice on it? If you're not going to listen to me, over your own mind, that is. Now I don't want you to listen to me because what I'm saying is important, because it's not. Or because it's interesting, because it's not.
But the point is, you listen to my voice over your own thoughts. Now, saying that, I quite like my own thoughts sometimes. But it will depend, you know, I haven't really enjoyed my own thoughts the last few weeks.
But, you know, sometimes I go to bed and I think about winning the lottery and how I'd share the money out, even though I don't even do the lottery. But it's just a nice feeling, you know, the idea of being able to just, well, it's giving the money, giving any money away that I would win is as much fantasy as actually winning the lottery. In fact, it's more of a fantasy than winning the lottery.
It's less likely than actually winning the lottery. Because if I won the lottery, I'd just disappear. I'd be gone.
I would just, I'd collect the money, I'd collect the cheque. And they'd give me the cheque, they'd turn around and say, so Jason, how you fit, Jason? Where's he gone? I'd be gone, out. And no one would ever hear from me again.
I would disappear. I'd be, I'd just travelled the world probably. I'd get on a cruise, some 50 saga cruise or something, somewhere around a bunch of old people, my age.
And, yeah, that's what I would do. Or, I think I'd get bored, but I could definitely do with a holiday. I so need a holiday.
The thing is, I was looking at going to Norway. I'm not going to Norway, just looking at, you know, what are the, what the price is and stuff. And it's expensive, but it's not, but yeah, it's expensive.
Because if I was going to go, I'd want to go for about three weeks. And I was thinking, could I go over Christmas? I mean, can you imagine what better place to go where, you know, it's guaranteed snow. And, oh man, it'd be magical, magical.
However, with the whole COVID thing, it's a lot of hassle. Got to take a test. You got to get written proof that you've had the test.
Oh dear. I mean, I'll, I'll be vaccinated in August, completely vaccinated. Because I've had the first one and had the second one in August.
But that doesn't seem to be enough. Yeah. Yes, as far as listening, these recordings are not supposed to be stimulating.
And stop holding on to the idea that you're this or you're that. None of us are anything. We're just lots of different things.
I can't sleep. No. If you keep saying that to yourself, of course you're not going to be able to sleep.
This is temporary. Everything's temporary. And I'm not coming from a like, I don't care about people that have problems sleeping.
Obviously I do, because otherwise I wouldn't be making recordings to help people to sleep. I know what it, well, I know what it feels like for me to have had problems sleeping. Because I used to, for years.
Hugely light sleep, I still am actually. But I can, I can sleep with someone in the garden with a lawnmower during the day. Now, I suppose most people do lawnmowing during the day, don't they? You don't get many four o'clock in the morning lawnmowing people.
Mind you, on my estate, I wouldn't be surprised. It's a proper, I'm not going to use the word, but. So yeah, so chill out, peeps.
And not to just, this is a time to relax. And you know what? If listening to me doesn't relax you. Then get rid of me and find someone else to listen to that's going to relax you to sleep.
Seriously, I mean, I don't want, I'll probably end up tomorrow with zero listeners, but. There's no point if you, okay, if you enjoy listening, then, you know, brilliant. I mean, there's nothing wrong with enjoying something.
But if it's not benefiting, then don't, just find something that does benefit you. Plus, I do have a recordings that aren't me waffling on about my toenails or whatever. I've got the deep sleep whisper ones.
I've got the relax and sleep hypnosis daily. I've got, I don't know, various different things. So this is, I think this, this thingamajig that I do here to let me bore you to sleep.
Has turned into something more than sleep thing. It's different things with different people. Some people it's company, some people it's very, very mildly.
I mean, I'm very mildly, slightly, rarely amusing sometimes, very occasionally. So once every three or four months, I might say something like, oh, that nearly made me smile. So you get that.
This, but there's the boredom of listening to some middle-aged man talking about his boring life, knowing that it's boring, but doing nothing about it. You know, and if I keep going this way, my life is going to get more boring. In fact, the only time my life isn't boring is when I'm talking about my life being boring.
When I'm talking about my boring life, that's probably the highlight of my day. Or when I'm making recordings, which is why I do them because it's fun. And it gives me a purpose, my special purpose.
I don't know. I had a message from Molly. I've not replied yet because I couldn't be bothered.
But I was going to reply in this, so she should hear this and I will reply in a minute. Molly says, this is about Andre's ashes. I think I talked about getting the urn.
Urn, I found out that's the right way to spell it. Put his name on it. Molly says, he sent this yesterday or today rather.
You can get jewellery or a keepsake stone made out of ashes. If you don't want them in the urn. I hope you're feeling a little better.
A lot of change for a lot of people this year. Yeah. Thank you, Molly.
Well, I thought about that. Jewellery. Jewellery made out of ashes.
And I thought, what kind of jewellery could I get that would be useful? Made out of Andre's ashes. And I thought I'd go to jewellers and stuff. Cock ring.
I thought, oh, I'll get one of them. Cock ring. So I went to the jewellers and they said, sorry sir, we don't make them that small.
Fair enough. That was that done. It was worth a try.
Anyway. Maria hasn't replied yet. Let's look at the... This is from Santa Cruz study.
It's pretty much all men on there. One woman. I don't know, I just... I get a bit cynical sometimes.
I think it's because this Maria, she's... That's if it's her. It's her. You know.
I mean, she literally looks like she's just joined Facebook. Which... I don't know. I don't know anyone that's just joined Facebook, do you? She's got one... Two posts, one yesterday.
And one... That was sharing an advert. And the second one was a couple of pictures of her. So yeah, that's... Very, very... Confused.
So yeah, so I'm just gonna... I've had a few people send me messages over the years. Like randomly. And then, oh, okay, okay.
What would you like to know? So she wrote, ow, that cool. I will want you to please tell me more about yourself before we go on with this conversation. I am a lady that need to get to know more about the opposite side before moving on.
So I'll be very happy to know more about you if you can answer all my questions with all honesty of heart. Okay. So let's see what questions she's gonna have.
See, this is exciting, isn't it? So I'm guessing this is a scammer. And I'll know because... Oh, that's a nice noise in the chair. If she sends me a list of questions, she's copied and pasted them, so they're already ready, aren't they? So she's prepared, which you wouldn't be, would you, in like normal life.
It would be so bad. Imagine if she's genuine and, you know... I don't know how that could be, but... Oh, God, it looks like she's phoning me. Wow.
And, you know, that... Imagine that... I'll have to get rid of this recording, won't I? Oh, yeah, a big long list of questions. She didn't just type this out. See, this is copy and paste.
How old are you? What do you do for fun? What do you do for a living? What's your marital status? Tell me about your past relationship, if married before. How long did your last relationship last? Do you have kids? How many kids do you? Would you like to have more kids if you finally get a woman of your dream? OK, what shall I write? How old am I? Erm... OK, nine. OK, if I put down I'm... 72.
Age... 72. What do I do for fun? For fun... Oh, I'm trying to copy and paste, but it won't allow it. For fun... Fun... Erm... What could be a fun thing? Designing... Err... Designing cock rings for zoo animals.
OK. What do I do for a living? Living... Retired... Lollipop... Lady. And what else? Erm... Marital status.
I was going to put deceased. That's not a marital status. Erm... Happily widowed.
This is terrible, isn't it? Happily widowed. Erm... Tell me about your past relationship if married before. Past relationship... Erm... Unfortunately, she was murdered.
But... Fortunately... He was never discovered or found. No, that's not what I have. What else? She... How did she die? Trampolining accident.
Erm... Drowned in a soup bowl, no? I don't know, what could we put? Come on, help me here. She's not replied to anything yet. OK, erm... No previous relationship.
Relationship... Erm... Do you have kids? I've got nine kids. Nine kids. Six grandkids.
She still hasn't replied. Now I thought, the way I'm going, I sound like a bit of a catch. Especially if you're trying to get my credit card details.
We'd like to have more kids if you finally get a woman of your dreams. Love... To... Impregnate. You.
No, a bit up at you. Love to impregnate... That special woman. Love to impregnate that special woman.
Providing... She... Has her very freckly legs. Very... Freckly... Legs. OK.
So here I've gone, so the question is, how old are you? I said, age 72. What do you do for fun? I put, fun... I'm a... Designing cock rings. And... For zoo animals.
What is your marital status? Happily widowed. What do you do for a living? I'm retired. Retired lollipop lady.
Past relationships? No previous relationship. Any kids? Nine kids, six grandchildren. Kids.
What do you have? Would you have kids if you finally met the woman of your dreams? Love to impregnate that special woman. Providing... She has very freckly legs. And what is her response? Another list.
Seriously. See... This is probably a man in Nigeria, doing this. We have him.
We'll have his credit card very soon. That's my accent now. Now send the next list.
These English people, these English men, it's so easy. So this is a list of... I mean seriously, it's a big long list. She didn't type this out.
Copy paste, copy paste. What is your best colour? See, you can tell even by the English. She's not... She's supposed to be American.
And... What is your best colour? No one... No one used that terminology. What's your best colour? My best colour? What? What is your best food? Want to know if you are a vegetarian or... Want to know if you are a... Vegetarian of junk foods. I don't know what that means.
Do you live alone or stay with friends? Is that the only two options we have? You live alone, or you stay with friends. Who stays with friends? Do you smoke? Do you drink? Well yeah, otherwise I'd die. I have to drink.
What are the qualities that you like in a woman, if a woman is what you really need in your life? Well no one really needs a woman in their life today. No one really needs a man in their life. It's not... This isn't that kind of world anymore is it? Oh I must have... A woman or a man.
You might want to be with someone, but you don't need We might need support and help and stuff but... Do what want? So this is really great grammar. Do what want long time or life relationship? What? Do what want long life or life relationship? I can't even bother to reply. It's just... They're embarrassing themselves.
Well I'm probably embarrassing myself. The thing I don't like about this stuff, although it's mildly entertaining, you know to sort of... to give stupid responses. What if there is a 72 year old man, getting this message, from a very attractive female, who at 72... Yeah I mean you know it's... If you've been alone long enough, 72, a jar of peanut butter starts to become attractive.
You know it's... It's... I know a 75 year old that's really attracted to a local female. And it's like... Wow! And she's... She's quite well known for fleecing and taking advantage of like elderly men. Personally I think he's just found out and he's thinking I'll have a bit of that.
I'll give... I'll give away some of my pension, if it means I get to grab a boobie. It's like what really? He invited her to go on a... Okay I won't even say it, I won't say it, because it's... otherwise people can... If anyone's listening to this, they can put bits to bits, you know, together to know who I'm talking about, so I won't. I'll talk about it another time.
What are the qualities that you like in a woman? If a woman is what you really need in your life? I mean, I don't know. You know? I mean if this was a real question, what is your... okay. I won't... I'm not going to type it in, but if I give you... I'll tell you my answers.
What's your favourite colour? Who cares? Do I have to have such a limited life that I need to choose a colour? Out of all the colours there are, and all the colours that perhaps don't even have names for, because they're mixtures of different colours. Oh. That's my favourite, and I'm not moving from there.
I'm sticking to that colour. That's my favourite colour. I don't really have... I like pastel colours.
I like that type of light, fluffy kind of colour. So all pastel colours I quite like. Favourite colour? Eh.
I don't really care. Blue, yellow, light blue, like the sky, or sea, but more like the sky. Again, pastel-y.
Yellow, like the sunlight. I quite like pink. But there's a certain shade of pink that to me looks like orange.
What is your best food? OK, I guess that's what... What is my favourite food? Favourite food is... Erm... Erm... I don't know anymore. I've gone off my food. Erm... Erm... I like a nice burger every now and then.
I do mean every now and then. I'm not, you know, I'm not into, big into sort of eating burgers and chips and stuff. But I do occasionally.
I like a nice burger. But food? Probably... just something nice. Cooked by someone else.
Erm... Nothing comes to mind. Not a favourite really. I suppose pizza.
I do like pizza, but I'm getting fed up with it. Sorry! Chinese food? That's OK. I like an omelette actually.
I do like an omelette. Yeah. A nice cheese omelette with chips and beans and a few slices of bread with butter and a cup of tea.
Yeah, that's nice. I like that. Want to know if you are a vegetarian of junk foods? I'm not a vegetarian.
I don't know anyone that is a vegetarian. I'm not a vegetarian of junk foods. Again, I don't know anyone that is.
Do you live alone or stay with friends? I don't have any friends. I'm just trying to find out if I've got any friends because I don't want to contact people with friends because those friends might be wise Do I live alone? Yeah, I live alone. Didn't used to but I live alone now because my flat or my my little sharer flat sharer is not here anymore so it's just me.
Do you smoke? Depends how fast I'm running. Do you drink? Again, everyone drinks. What are the qualities that you like in a woman if a woman is what you really need in your life? That's a bit of a long sentence.
Teeth I suppose. What qualities? Okay, let's answer this sensibly, shall we? Let's think of this sensibly. What are the qualities I would look for? If I was looking for a woman what would I look for? I've got to be careful.
I can't just be completely honest because I would come across as shallow and we all know that I'm far from shallow. As time has gone by I really don't care anymore. For me I like women.
I think women and I'm not talking and I don't want to put any men down because I know men listen to this as well. So I prefer men but I do prefer women. I prefer men.
I prefer everyone. Whoever you listen to this you're who I prefer to talk to. Okay, there you go.
I never really related to men probably because I didn't I get on with everyone really but I never got excited over the things that boys and men seem to get excited over. Like when I was at school or when I was at work. You know, football and cars and drinking and just that kind of stuff acting all tough you know that kind of always seemed a bit pathetic to me.
The you know, wanting to the showing off the showing off that just yeah, I don't know but I've never been able to really hold a conversation about football or rugby or golf or snooker snooker I can a little bit but tennis and if I had to pick a sport boxing is, I mean it's something I'm actually really interested in this kind of watching boxing is probably I guess it's my hobby really it's something I'm yeah, very much into but the only sport I can really talk about with any kind of authority as far as knowing
who the the boxers are and you know, who they're for and who they're fighting next and that kind of stuff that's what I mean by authority it's not really authority it's just having a memory and hmm I used to enjoy watching tennis when I was a kid and I used to quite enjoy watching snooker so I've got that little bit of memory in me for that stuff but I'm well outdated for that you know, I know a little bit about a couple of the snooker players and the main one I mean, Ronnie O'Sullivan is arguably
one of the best players of all time arguably arguably and it would be an argument because some people would say no, Hendry what about Davis?
what about Higgins? what about, you know so people would have their own opinion but he's and tennis you know I come from the era of John McEnroe you cannot be serious see, he was a superstar more famous than the sport he was playing now no other player in tennis in my memory at least not that I know of or not in this country had that fame that McEnroe had I know that some some of the stars have had huge fame and have been what's his name? Andre Andre yeah, Andre Andre Agassi yeah, Andre Agassi he was a heartthrob wasn't he?
when he had his long hair and then he he shaved it all off and married a lesbian so he I don't know if he did I made that up I don't know she just looks she he he's brilliant I love him but he was a superstar but because he was really good at tennis but I think it was because of how he looked he got a lot of attention McEnroe he was just he was for those anyone listening to this you're probably all probably in your 60s and 70s from what I can guess so I
cater for the older generation I'd be surprised if there's hardly anybody under the age of 30 that listened to me I know there are some I know because people have contacted me but I think it's mainly people in their 90s so if you're under if you're younger than 90 thank you for listening because most people are about 120 that listen to me most people are dust I generally no they're not so McEnroe was pretty pretty cool but before him it was Bjorn Borg who was the main one and then you know so many different tennis
players over the years there was a time right we had this Canadian and they've even got a hill at Wimbledon named after him he was Canadian but he was born in the UK I mean clutching at bloody straws we do when it comes to sport and our sporting heroes he's like oh he was he was he was he's from Canada but he was born he was born while there was a television programme on that was from England it was EastEnders was playing or Coronation Street was on the TV yeah he must be English he must
be he had a Canadian accent and you know I'm sorry I mean no offence Lennox Lewis the same you know Canadian accent and he was English he was born in England moved to Canada when he was about 11 won the Olympic gold for Canada then came to England and decided to be English and arguably actually I'm not going to argue he is one of the best heavyweights boxers of all time one of them and I won't argue that with anyone I don't care if anyone disagrees you're wrong I'm right on this it's been proven he's
proved he proved himself yes he did oh yes so there Lennox Lewis was phenomenal so there why am I talking about such see it's boring I got a neighbour that talks about football every single time I see him and he talks about it and I tell him I'm not interested and he still talks about it I literally say no one else does it but I say I don't care I've got no interest I don't want to hear about it I don't care I don't really really don't care about football I don't I don't want to
have a conversation about it because I'm not interested I did say that when I first met him but after six years you know you have to and he still sometimes he knocks on my door to tell me the scores of a football match like why why I say to him why why why and he still oh guess what and he and he can't stop talking honestly like oh and before I go there's 17 more things I want to say and I remember Andre I used to hold Andre sometimes I'd be like he'd be whispering in
my ears dad for fuck sake can't you get rid of this muppet I was like can't we move can't we just get away move somewhere move to a different town this is ridiculous that's him whispering in my ears that's a bit rude it's not his fault it's just a old I mean he's it's annoying okay but on one side what I find see I can flip it around to be positive because firstly he's a nice he's a really nice bloke I get on with him really well but I can't stand hearing about football and I'll
talk about boxing right to him and he still manages to talk about football and the other day I was talking to him I said no stop we're talking about boxing we're talking about my Tyson Fury he said yeah yeah I know but this is talking about Tyson Fury because we're talking about managers and the manager of Fulham Football no no no we're talking about Tyson Fury yeah but Tyson Fury lives in Manchester Manchester City are playing at Dartford no no no no no we're talking about this is what we were talking about now you've gone
off talking about football again we were talking about I said what's that got to do with Tyson Fury it's like Tyson Fury we're talking about Tyson Fury Nathan's talking about what was it Nottingham Forest playing Leeds I'm like what's that got to do with Tyson Fury he said well Nottingham Forest has got lots of trees and Tyson Fury is tall like a tree no no what are you on about stop it please just 14 different things more before you go no sometime I was saying goodbye I closed the door he's still talking he's still talking
to me three hours later I'm getting ready to go to bed he's still out there talking oh man honestly I was like I don't what more can you say other than stop talking to me about that stuff I don't care don't want to hear about it and it's not being rude I just can't have a conversation about football I know nothing about football you know if you ask me about my football knowledge it goes as far back as knowing who won the FA Cup in 1978 I can tell you that I can tell you about
1966 with the England squad I can tell you about 1990 World Cup I can tell you about no was it World Cup or Euro I forget but you know I can tell you about 1996 was it yeah 1996 there was you know that football England did fairly well and that's it that's my knowledge I don't have a football team I've only been to a football club once no that's not right but like to an actual football match I've been to Chelsea football ground when I auditioned for the X Factor in 2005 by I went to
Ipswich town football club to see a match with my friend that I was working with and he took me and I loved it after all that I actually really liked it but the reason I liked it is because there was only about 14 people in the whole stadium it was on a Tuesday night but I was amazed at how small the pitch was because it looked huge on the telly and it weren't big at all and the floodlights were bright it was like really really nice nice venue I enjoyed it and it was kind of
probably September time not September I don't know it was it weren't warm maybe it was October it was almost kind of a weird nice temperature you know it was a nice mild evening but I didn't care who won I don't know who was playing I think Ipswich I did say to him who's playing who's that that's Ipswich it's their football ground yeah alright I don't mean to be be like that with me I wonder if I've got any more messages what is your best colour ok if I just write I love big nipple no I
don't know I'm not going to bother replying anymore it's not a real person is it that could be that could be my future wife there and I've messed it up damn it never mind I think I can survive that today so far nine thousand two hundred and twenty three downloads yesterday I had eleven thousand three hundred and twelve blimey but I didn't really start making recordings till late in the day today today today so a little bit slow with the whole thing but it's ok eventually it'll be fine I need to just do a start
earlier in the day rather than late afternoon because then there's more time during the day for people to listen in it so that's it for me I think I've covered most things so I'm going to title this Molly Molly's Ring actually that sounds wrong doesn't it Molly's Rusty Ring that sounds even worse I don't know I'm just I'm just like thinking how I can let Molly know that I answered her question maybe I'll just put it in just say I answered your question in my recording I don't want her to think that I've ignored her
because she's been so she's lovely Molly's really lovely and she's very supportive and I've had lots of lovely support from many of the people listening to my podcasts and I don't want to get all soppy and stuff because I'm a real man football cars boobies drinking body odour pain standing up prostate problems that's the thing being a man in 50s is is like okay beer belly weird hairs growing out of weird places it's yeah shrinking willy brilliant where's it gone I'm sure it used to be longer anyway I'm gonna go thank you for listening take
care I shall return tomorrow and remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy do something nice for yourself I say this every time but generally do something nice for yourself and for blinking heck's sake when you listen to these recordings and if your mind's going I wonder how long I'm gonna be asleep for I wonder if I'll be tell yourself to shut up seriously tell your mind to shut up because it doesn't bloody matter just chill out listen relax if you fall asleep you fall asleep if you don't you don't
who cares don't worry about it because if you're sitting there worrying then you might as well just get up and watch telly or do something else because you're wasting your time because this is about relaxing and chilling out if you're gonna do that you know you might as well go into a sauna fully dressed you know go into a solarium or into a under a sunbed wearing a wedding dress I don't know what that it'd just be silly and just pointless one of the main things for this is just to shut that stupid negativity out
of your brain if it's going on I've got to think about all this horrible stuff no you don't have to think about all the horrible stuff you don't have to think about the good stuff you don't have to think about anything you're the boss of you you are the boss of you no one else you think about what you focus on it's as simple as that oh I've got no control over yeah you do you just don't realise it you've just got to practice it just tell it to shut up and if your mind is
saying if you're like thinking horrible things and negative things about yourself just remember something I used to say years ago to clients and you know on video videos and recordings I did like 15 years ago like would you say that to a small child would you say that to your own child or to your grandchildren or to someone that you love deeply if the answer is no then stop saying it to yourself girl I'm so angry never been so angry just stop chill out chill out honestly this isn't a contest it's not competition just chill
out get what you can out of it it's a progressive thing as well it's the more often you listen to me the more you realise I'm not worth listening to so your mind switches off like oh God he's going on again about nothing he's going on about nothing again I mean you could take all 680 recordings or whatever that I've done on these that's a lot isn't it and you could probably take out the interesting stuff you could probably get half an A4 size sheet of paper filled with interesting stuff out of all 680 recordings
so there's a lot of real pointless stuff here and remember that that's how it's supposed to be it's just a bunch of rubbish that's coming out of my mouth it's so meaningless that I don't remember anything that I've said including that last sentence so it's not interesting it's something that you can focus on which takes your mind off of other stuff so chill out relax and relax some more and relax some more and relax some more and the more you do it the more relaxed you feel and relax and relax chill out just let go
let go of everything I mean everything because nothing matters when you're in bed all that important stuff you can think about it when you're awake when you're out of bed in the morning when you're dressed when you've had your breakfast then you can think about that stuff but not when you're in bed that's a sacred safe space for you to let go to feel comfortable and just to relax when nothing nothing matters at all you just let go and relax completely alright I'm gonna go see you later on lots of love bye
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.