#649 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Thank you for joining me and I hope you're having a great Sunday or Monday or Wednesday or Friday whenever you're listening to this.

I hope you're having a groovy day or groovy night or maybe you're in the middle of cooking or making love. Just you know perhaps you're just going having a little break to go to the toilet and thought you'd listen have a little listen to me.

Hi well done you're doing really good um you know maybe next time you'll be able to last for for three minutes so hello I gotta say I gotta say a couple of messages let me have a look hmm where were they oh oh so I want to say thank you I've I've been in a a little bit of a funk the last couple of days but I'm all right just haven't done much although I make two recordings yesterday but I didn't do Let Me Bore You To Sleep and I had a message saying oh I

hadn't done any recordings for a couple of days and I realized then that maybe I hadn't um posted them onto Facebook or Twitter so I guess for some people you rely well not rely but you only know that I've released new stuff if I post it on Facebook I forget about that sometimes because I don't post everything that I do on Facebook sometimes sometimes sometimes how many times can I say sometimes probably quite a few sometimes so basically I'm gonna make more of an effort to post the reason why I don't post so quickly onto

Facebook as I used to because I used to just do it instantly I'd like just not instantly but I'd just do it quickly but now I'll make images up for the for the uh for the recordings and that can take quite a while sometimes they might look a bit rubbish and they might look like I've just you know just copied an image off of the internet and just put it on there but most of the images I actually put together myself with uh yeah I don't like make the images myself but I create the overall

image like the one with my my doctor's surgery with clowns outside and a sign saying clown school you see creativity it's endless so uh I wanted to say a big thank you firstly to Viola and secondly to um Mary for uh your PayPal gifts thank you very much and you know what it's coming real handy because I literally paid over 500 pound out in the last few days so it's really really helpful to have something coming in which should get me through this week so thank you thank you very much I really appreciate it I

really appreciate you so I'm going to read out any messages I've got so the first message I have okay this is from Hope in Canada so Hope if you're on Facebook maybe add me because I don't I'm not sure if you're on my Facebook page yeah so if you're otherwise you're very naughty so this is a message it was actually on my website posted as a five-star review for the number 643 let me bore you to sleep memories from the past it said the headline is I can't sleep with anyone else why am I on

my own every night where are you where are all these women that can't sleep without me where are you I'm on my own anyway it says his relaxation hypnosis with his lovely voice his lovely voice are always the last thing I hear each day and I love it as for boring me to sleep I can't say I always fall asleep because I end up giggling and I don't find him boring at all but it still leaves me in a better state of mind enough so enough so I fall asleep easily this podcast decreases my stress

and anxiety always thank you for sharing your life Jason mine is better for it and love heart so I think it's official me and hope from Canada are officially engaged to be married so everyone congratulate me even my bum is happy oh my goodness so the next one is this is uh I'm looking through my emails and basically it's just bill after bill after payment after payment after payment oh okay message from Brad best web this is on my website again this is a message five star review for number 303 deep sleep whisper hypnosis relax

in your vast mind for the 22nd of February 2021 best web notice the best webnotist out there or out here his relaxation recordings could put a Tasmanian devil to sleep bravo Jason thanks Brad hi Brad thank you very very much for your lovely message uh and your five star review on my website which just makes me you know there's two reviews on my website maybe maybe if you visit my website uh you could do the same if you fancy it and last week if you listen to me regularly you know what I'm like I do

something try something out and if it's not a case of if it if it's successful or whatever it's whether or not it fits with me and how I feel so I changed my website a little bit not completely but just a few of the recordings so that they're available for one pound to buy and took away the free streaming although you can still listen to them on podcasts and stuff well I have I'm in the process of reversing that so that should all be reversed by the end of the day doesn't feel right doesn't fit

in with emotionally how I feel so I'm going to put it back to how it was you know last week or whenever I decided to change it so there yeah thank you okay so the next one is from no Viola didn't leave a message so that's Viola from Deutschland thank you very much okay this is from Mary okay I'll do it in her voice because Jason you have made going to sleep enjoyable I've recently had okay I shouldn't read out because okay Jason you've made going to sleep enjoyable I've recently had a lot of stress

I thought that's why I stopped the voice I thought I perhaps should just read it normally I find myself looking forward to the relaxation let me boy to sleep and the hypnosis daily I try to use your techniques would love to have more so more are on their way Mary I am well you know I'm continuously producing new ones my recent angst okay I'm not gonna read it all out because this is the private message so I try to use your techniques would love more I want to say thank you to the bottom of my

heart hope this finds you well you haven't had a new recording I'm getting worried I've been worried crazy I can't do it I am a very loyal listener take care and that's from Mary in America so thank you very much that's in Michigan so I did okay I didn't I can't remember the last time I did a let me boy to sleep it was only a couple of days ago it was literally let me have a look I'm waiting for it to come up 28th of April and today is the 3rd of May blimey it

is a few days isn't it wow 28th of April so 28th of April that's five days ago where have I been where have I been since the 28th of April so it's Wednesday I didn't do on Thursday Friday Saturday or Sunday and now it's Monday no that can't be real is it wow I didn't realize it'd been so long that's that's no surely surely not wow 28th of April okay I did do something okay I didn't do a let me boy to sleep I did a on a 30th of April so I didn't do anything

29th Thursday but on a Friday Snow White and some little people that's the uh number 20 Jason's bedtime story time wow so that was Friday and then nothing Saturday I did two recordings yesterday number 84 relax and sleep hypnosis daily noticing how relaxed you are becoming and number 25 stress and pain relief letting go so and both of those are also with music as well so it's four recordings that was yesterday no it was yeah yesterday right so it's a little bit not as regular as I have been I mean um I'll tell you part

of the reason is because I had I didn't feel very well actually I've had I think a bit of a chest infection and it was getting to the point where whenever I was talking I was coughing and I was just getting fed up with it to the point yeah I've kind of like just thought well do I want to sit in front of the microphone coughing or can I sit here and not cough and watch telly that was kind of my so I was deciding to just I just didn't want to be coughing anymore because

my chest my chest was hurting the the bones in my chest like the tops of the ribs and like the chest I don't know the chest bone I suppose the breast bone he said breast and was aching a little bit so you know I was getting a bit fed up with it plus plus plus plus plus Saturday I went out I was out on Friday going I went to the doctors with my friends I went out Saturday because I just wanted to get out I went into town and then I was watching boxing from six

o'clock in the evening all the way till midnight so there's there's like a big pay-per-view but it's eight fights so and they were all pretty much all good fights fights that I wanted to actually watch usually when there's a fight night on there's usually a couple that I'm not bothered about and I might make a recording while it's on and just sort of maybe watch it and do a recording have it on mute but Saturday night wasn't one of those nights I was going to do a recording after the boxing finished because usually it's finished

by 11 but it went on a lot longer than normal and by the time it finished I was so tired I just went to bed again going to bed at midnight is not something that I normally do I mean that's just ridiculous um also I started taking my medication again because I stopped taking it for a couple of weeks and I think that's part of the reason for the cough as well sounds ridiculous but I had a similar thing when I was working the call center had a cough and couldn't figure out why I had

to cough and then you know I was trying to talk on the phone I was coughing every now and then like really just it was annoying went to the doctors they said they thought I might be asthmatic uh gave me a couple of the inhaler things or whatever and I was using them and didn't seem to really work didn't did a little bit but you know definitely opened my airways up even if you haven't got asthma the asthma inhalers will open your airways up because that's what they're for that's what they do but I didn't

really I didn't have asthma I basically uh then I was sort of a bit unwell had went on to the antidepressants again and the coughing stopped very weird just uh I think it was probably stress because of the job I was doing and um at the time I don't I don't I try to not talk too much about some of the less um you know less happy times although it's interesting it can be interesting to sort of hear about it and I sometimes can make it mildly amusing as well but it was um basically I

will I'll just I'll give you an overview of what was going on so I started working in this insurance company the reason I started working there is because the government in the UK in England made they had this austerity thing going on and they made huge huge financial cuts to charities and 99% of my work was coming from charities I was working as a counsellor for three different charities so I was self-employed getting paid our you know hourly rate um as a self-employed person and I was doing okay until the cuts I was doing I

was earning enough to get by um but what led to that as well is I had a part-time job as well as well as doing the counselling I was financially very okay I weren't well off but I was definitely could pay the rent cover everything I needed to cover however the manager of that charity um was a bully so she tried to bully me and one of her favorite sayings was if someone uh wasn't liked by the staff like a new person they she'd say to them do you want me to bully them out that

was her one of her sayings and I used to get on really well with her when I when I volunteered and she gave me the job as a receptionist because they moved to a new building big building and you know I thought she I used to get on really well with her and then she had some power over me you know because she didn't before I was a volunteer I could just walk out anytime didn't you know but for some reason she uh expected lots of things from me that I couldn't really give her you

know sort of can you design this can you do like I don't know how to design flyers and printing stuff I don't you know I could try and learn it but I didn't know how to do it and she just yeah she was just uh kind of horrible really in the end and she the weird thing about it is I told the other staff I told you know especially the person I was quite close to in the counseling department and ultimately they were all cowards not one of them would stand up against her or stand

up to even though I told these people who were supposed to be my friends that this woman was you know bullying me or trying to bully me and uh all cowards all of them so I left I just left and that left me with very little money but I still managed on the counseling money I still I managed to get a few more hours which was good and I was okay you know it was you know it was kind of just managing if you know what I mean I was like well that check at the

end of the month from one of the main place that I worked the charity uh worked for I needed that in the bank you know in order to pay the rent and stuff it was important to get that as soon as possible but I had a very good relationship with the other charities as well and I still carried on volunteering as a counselor at the place where the lady tried to bully me because I valued that place it was the first place I ever counseled you know they gave me an opportunity and I appreciated that

so I stayed there and I was getting paid for every second uh client so it was it was volunteering plus paid so it was like a mixture but I relied on that money as well and then basically they got cut again as well they got cut like everyone else and they couldn't afford to pay any money so uh I just quit I quit then and the other place where I got most of my yeah there's two others one was going into hot uh schools and it wasn't officially a counseling position but it was a more

of uh um I forget the name of it but just listening to the children you know just being there for them and I really liked that I didn't like the traveling because because I didn't have a car I was reliant on buses and walking and I couldn't see many of the kids in a day it was quite difficult to really um make enough money to make the day worthwhile but I enjoyed the actual job itself the work is great and it's also quite nice going into little schools and just seeing all the little chairs and

the little you know it's like wow you know because there's an adult unless you've got kids and you go in um to pick your kids up or you know parents evening or something and or if you work in the in the school you don't get a chance to sort of go in there again and to go in and see you know all the different posters on the walls all the drawings and the pictures it all made and seeing them all um just I don't know it's something special it's something uh quite magical about it I

don't know I don't know why just it's just I don't know you see the way they're all holding hands as they walk into the gym or you know oh it's just it's cool I quite like it well I liked it and I went into about five or six different schools during that period and then that came to an end because I ran out of funding so I was left with just one place and that they cut me down from 16 hours to four a week again because they got their their funding cut so I so

that that kind of came to a point where I didn't I couldn't afford I had a chest infection um in 2012 and it was at the beginning it was only I was only off work for probably two weeks but the debt it got me into I was behind for uh months I just couldn't catch up because I wasn't earning enough I was earning like five thousand pound a year working you know it's like at that point so I ended up having to get help from my dad and and also look for a job I got

is yeah I got a job as a care assistant with an agency which I did for a little while now it wasn't it wasn't a terrible job but it was poorly managed you know the places I went to I got sent to a place once and they didn't even need me so they sent me home now that's fair enough I got paid but you know that just uh it was a little bit annoying I got sent to one man who was just sat there the whole time chain smoking he didn't leave his house or his

flat just sat there and it wasn't really um it wasn't really much communication which is why he had you know support to start with I was so bored I know you know I'm not there to be entertained but it didn't wasn't really didn't really it wasn't really what I wanted to be doing and then they sent me where else did they send me they sent me to oh this this what I ended up doing is cleaning this toilet cleaning the kitchen just for something to do I'm trying to say do you want to go out

or go for a walk go to the shops didn't want to do anything and so that was yeah I was down to sort of go back as well but just and I was going to but they sent me to a hospital where they had inpatients that were there kind of all the time it was more like in some ways like a mental health unit but I don't know it's hard to explain but I went there and yeah it was a dementia hospital that's it so they had people that weren't going to leave but it wasn't

it wasn't um they weren't locked in you know in if that makes sense they were patients they were treated like patients in a hospital not like a psychiatric unit but at the same time they were yeah it was kind of like a mixture the reason I say it's a mixture because I also used to work in a psychiatric unit uh I was an agency worker a few years earlier so it was kind of similar but not so there was a mixture of different people uh and I was I turned up on a Monday morning after

going into the office and they said well we've got another job for you and wear a white shirt for some reason and go in you'll be looking after this man and their description of it was oh of the job was he's incredibly violent he might attack you he attacks all the other staff and and that was it so okay brilliant yeah I really look forward to that one weekend but you know I needed the money so I went along I had no no training really for this for this kind of work very basic first aid

training but as far as as far as self-defense I've got felt I've got self-defense training but my self-defense training is martial arts over the years and none of it involves grappling or holding them on the floor it's all punching and kicking you know of course I can't do that with a patient it's so I don't know what I would have done if they'd have attacked me um do you know what I mean because it's kind of someone attacks you like even if you don't punch him or kick him you can at least like smash them

against the wall or something just as a again you can't do that with a patient so I don't know I was very worried like what am I going to do I'm not just going to stand there and be attacked anyway he I got there and the doctor was rude to me straight away he said have you got any experience no he said oh he went into one went to rant about how they keep sending in people that are no good and useless so he's referring to me as useless I didn't really class myself as useless

maybe not experienced in that particular job there but to call me useless he's just met me it's like you know if you're going to call me useless you need to date me for at least a week before you can do that and I didn't like him after that and I just like okay and he said well come come uh we're about to have a meeting with the nurses so here's how the meeting went what I'm about to tell what I'm about to tell you Andre what I'm about to tell you is completely true by the

way okay practically word for word and it's you know there might it's a bit graphic so close your ears if you don't like but it's not like graphic horrible just graphic perhaps rude but it's not rude because it's not in a rude context so it involves a penis but it's not in a rude context it's in a bodily functional context um my mind how can I make this rude this is what it was we're in this little cupboard basically um a little office and there was probably 12 staff and me all of them female and

some of them couldn't even fit in so they were standing out the side looking in the doctor was proper on one now the right old moan and his moan for this was which is a very viable and you know made sense what he was saying and it was important so I'm not taking that away from him however the way he put it was the issue and I had to stop myself from laughing or I might have just laughed because I didn't care about him but there was a few people there trying to hold a smile

in because of the way he was describing it okay here's what he was trying to get across the nurses according to him his opinion was they were not washing the patients correctly they were missing out the genitals and because a lot of them were in bed a lot of the time the genitals the bum all that area I mean obviously the whole body but you're more prone to getting bed rashes and stuff like that and you can't just you know miss out areas because and also and it was kind of I thought you know if

if you don't want to if you've got an issue of what's washing the genitals of an adult where it's a man or woman you shouldn't be a nurse or a care you know you shouldn't be working in that environment if you've got an issue with that you know it's like if you I've actually been on courses right reflexology course you listen you listen to this I've been on a reflexology course with someone that hates feet could not stand feet didn't didn't like them didn't like looking them didn't want to touch them a reflexology course okay

and for those that don't know what reflexology is look it up because it's hilarious what I just said if you don't know what reflexology is if you do know what it is it's you know it's kind of funny or a bit silly but you know if you really don't know after what I've said and you realize what it is you'll see how ridiculous anyway reflexology is brilliant if you've never had it give it a go it's wonderful we're a very big supporter of reflexology acupuncture all those all those things amazing massage, aromatherapy seriously if you

want to heal your body your mind your spirit if we just want to feel good you know what's wrong with just doing something that feels nice that's how I think like I'd have a body massage every week if I could find someone that's willing to touch my body I just can't find anyone and they charge extra for my belly you know it's like well it's going to cost you another 70% more for your belly because it takes up 70% of your body that's so rude and anyway this doctor is standing there with a really angry

face okay he's not holding someone's head in his hands you know like with angry face on it he's actually stretching it out it's actually his face that's angry and he said and he has an accent as well he's a doctor so you might be able to guess but he had an accent so I don't know why it just made it funnier because it almost sounded like he was doing a comedy he was like saying it in a funny way but he wasn't he's very serious very very serious uh it was what he was saying that

was making me laugh not how well how he was saying it as well I think because he was so angry that made it funnier I don't know why I always be I always found angry people to be both both pathetic and funny at the same time and sometimes scary to be fair but generally just pathetic and really funny it's like because angry people wind themselves up angry people cause themselves to be angry they're really uh got a it's a major brain dysfunction I think if someone's like angry all the time this they're basically toddlers they're

adults with toddlers brains but only a part of their brain is a toddler they could be the most amazing wonderful person but that part that's angry that's the toddler so there um so he was in toddler mode hey I won't I won't I'll say what he said but I will not do an accent because um I can't be bothered and it might sound wrong if I do no no I'm not gonna so he's he said you have the I was I was gonna say what he said I'm gonna do it tell you word for word

but basically the gist of it was he'd looked through it'd been you know checking up on the patients and something he'd noticed is the nurses were missing out the genital area on a lot of the patients which is a little bit worrying uh personally you know in a sense like that's just bad care and to be fair I kind of figure it you know what if I'm in that situation in later life you ain't got much to look forward to have you so you know having your having that area washed it's probably quite a nice

you know it's kind of it's like a little bit of Christmas isn't it every day you know it's it's it's a something to look forward to perhaps and whether that's wrong or not I don't care if something feels nice it feels nice now I imagine that a lot of care workers and nurses um it's imagined that don't perhaps take too much care on that area you know perhaps a bit too rough so it's not pleasurable maybe purposely so it's not pleasurable but at the same time you know you is it is it it can you

can do it nicely without having it be erotic I mean you don't don't have to dress up you know um as a whatever I was gonna say school girl but that'll be but you know I mean you haven't got to dress up in a bikini or or dress up or mattress there's a lot of men doing it so they can wear a bikini as well so just you know be gentle if you are going to do that kind of work be gentle it's a delicate area I just scrub it like you're trying to get uh

you know dried oatmeal out of a bowl you know it's like no just just be gentle it's a sensitive area now he said you're not washing that area you can't leave that area out it's an area that if it's not washed regularly is highly prone to infection highly prone to infection so it needs to be washed they can't do it themselves which is why they're here why they rely on you that's what you're getting paid the big bucks not that's why that's why they're there to to care for the the patients and these are people

that are very ill uh so you know generally I'd I could I just imagined that compassion would kick in but but they didn't clearly didn't want to didn't want to wash those parts and I'm sure it wasn't all of them but he said it was quite generally you know he noticed it was he'd been really light studied he'd done a thesis on the whole thing and it was a regular thing where people were missing out the genitals anyway so he uh I don't know if he did a survey or something eight out of ten patients

prefer their balls to be clean so he said uh he decided to explain firstly how to wash the genitals so that was quite detailed fair enough and then he went in and he kept saying and you have to include the penis you have to pull back the skin you have to clean you know he was very explicit like you have to you can't miss out the penis and then he said he gave an example of one of the patients that clearly hadn't had his genitals washed in quite a while because he washed it himself and

he explained what happened he's saying this man's penis was very dirty very very dirty and I went to clean it and as I was cleaning it and I pulled the skin back and I kept pulling it back and it was stuck and I pulled it back and uh a lot I could tell it was dirty because a lot of sticky white liquid squirted out I was like that's what he honestly said and I was like yeah you know what happened there and the way he was describing it I it's just I mean he was right

in what he was saying obviously you know you're not of course it needs if you're gonna wash someone wash them either wash them or leave if that's your job that's I'm very basic with stuff like that you know I've I've worked in so many rubbish jobs over the years and nearly all of their attitudes was do the job or f off you don't like it leave just get on with the job so I kind of had that mentality I suppose a bit when it comes to working you just get on with it if you don't

like it don't do it but just move on anyway after that he said follow me so and he took me to this open doorway where there was a man sleeping this man that was you know guaranteed to attack me at some point apparently and my shift was 12 hours long just sitting in the hallway for 12 hours keep an eye on him he didn't like people in this room and that was my job for 12 hours and I sat there and he was asleep and all I kept thinking about was what the doctor had said

to me at the beginning well first of all I was thinking about what he just said and I was giggling to myself and then I was thinking about how rude he'd been to me to start with and I thought I thought no no this isn't me this isn't what I want to do I can't be spoken to like that I just I'm not not prepared to put up with that now especially you know I've just done three years getting a degree to try and be a professional person and there I was being treated quite unkindly

I didn't didn't like that it wasn't a job I had an issue with it's the way I was being treated and partly the job as well that's sort of sitting there doing nothing that's not doesn't suit me I'm quite an active person if I'm going to sit doing nothing I want to do it at home with the telly on or go to sleep or whatever I just it's yeah just not really it's boring I don't want to be bored I want to I want to be stimulated in the job that I'm doing but that I

think it wasn't not it wasn't the average caring job it was a very specific one and it probably it may well have been far from boring to be fair but I didn't let it get to that because I just said nah I gave it half an hour and I walked out and I went up to them doctor he said you can't leave I said no you're right mate they should you should have you should uh you should get people to know what they're doing I said what am I he said what am I going to

do I said well there's a chair over there go and sit in it and I just walked out and I chucked my tie in the bin in protest because I had to wear a black tie I just chucked it in the bin phoned up the agency said and it's just left an arms machine don't call me again I said don't want nothing to do with this company you sent me to this crappy place where I'm being abused nah I had enough see you later well they called me a few times but I left my phone

off and eventually left me alone but they paid me they paid me for the whole shift I didn't even do and so that was all right but then I didn't have any money I didn't have any job I decided to for one day let's see if there's any call center jobs out there you know because that's what I used to do before and I managed to get a job I applied for a job in an insurance company I had the interview I also had an interview for another company the same morning I went there first

and that was interviewing people on the phone now in retrospect I probably should have took that job but I was in a position where both of the companies offered me full-time employment and I went with the safe one insurance because I've done it before the I probably would have been better at the questioning people because it was I don't know what it's for some I think they had a contract with various places like the government where you phone people up or they'd or they'd apply for a job and you and I'd interview them on the

phone things like that so I'd have been quite good at that I'd be more interested in what I ended up doing with the insurance but I just felt more stable with an insurance company for some reason I was wrong to feel that way because I started at the end of 2012 December and after two weeks of being there a letter came around to everyone telling us that the company had been sold or the company had been bought by an American equity company not an insurance company just an equity company so they'd they'd bought I didn't

even know the company was for sale so it's been bought out and then the preceding year starting quite early we were being told we don't know what's going to they're breaking up the company they're selling bits off and then the company got sold to another company and then it just it got very confusing and they started having meetings with all the staff saying we're not going to lay anyone off just yet we're just trying to find a deal so that we can keep you on and then they got bought by another company something like this

I'm probably getting it all wrong but basically it was loads of people lost their job loads of people a whole floor of the building disappeared now I think the company owned owned the bought this the place I think they might have been in Wales and a couple of people moved to Wales but you know it's not an easy move to move all the way to Wales I mean I could have done it technically in fact I probably like the opportunity to move to Wales this if I had a job to go to at the time

not now but at the time but then the redundancies started happening on my floor so a whole department was they'd been given a month's notice that they were being made redundant and that was right next to where I was sitting right on the other side of the room so over the next month nearly every day someone came in saying we're giving their noticing not just those being made redundant but those from my from the sales department and other departments that hadn't been made redundant but were kind of expecting it so everyone was looking for another

job except me for some reason I just I just didn't I just stayed stayed there and it started to turn into a ghost town honestly and especially when everyone to all the redundancies they'd gone suddenly it was much quieter and it was really weird and I just um people were leaving people that I liked were leaving because you know getting out of the sinking ship and then the the negativity that was in that place was just understandable but just really really not not good not a good environment to be working in and part you know

members of my team were leaving some people were going off ill I I just got ill myself and had time off and then I just couldn't go back anymore I you know I was signed off from the doctor and I tried to go back I think twice or even three times I went back into the office sat there but I couldn't go back after that and there was a lot of gossip as well so for one of the people that I thought was my friends in there told everyone and that I was off with uh

stress it's just like it's very very unprofessional for that to happen and eventually they sacked me because I'd had too much time off even though I did want to go back and then I think about six months later the place closed and it's now a block of flats they converted the whole building into a block of flats and apartments so that's what happened to that and it was just weird the whole thing you know the whole situation because I really I liked the place I was on the verge of probably getting a new girlfriend there

so I kind of was building up a kind of a friendship potentially dating with a lady that was there and then yeah then I was gone and then they were gone absolutely crazy never been so angry ever it was the angriest I've ever been and so that was it that's kind of yeah I don't know why I'm mentioning this but the I've got no idea why I'm mentioning it there was a reason at the beginning there was a reason but I can't remember what that reason is so that was a weird period of my life

strange strange period but you know I've got about three years of counselling under my belt so at least I can say I did it it didn't yeah it was it was it didn't work it didn't succeed as a business but along the way I seem to have helped you know quite a few people during that period of course there's no way of you know I don't get feedback years on for anybody that I saw but you know just going by how they were you know what I actually got asked out twice when I was a

counsellor during the counselling sessions and one I sort of just said well I said the same thing with both but the first one was like I was in training and I said no I don't want to do this go away I don't like you like that I like you as a friend and I didn't I said I can't not allowed and then she came back later on and this was sort of about seven o'clock at night or something and I was on my own it's like and it's like no no so you know luckily that

was all fine and she she received the help she needed and then yeah probably about 2012 I had another lady and I really liked her actually and any other circumstances I'd have jumped at the chance of being with her because she was lovely and she was into me which makes her even lovelier but I just said I'm not allowed to date clients you know it's just it's just not allowed now there are ways around it you can you know you say well I really get on with this person speak to your supervisor and maybe leave

it six months and then start dating them but you know do it kind of officially which takes the romance out of it but I don't think she liked me enough to wait for six months yeah okay we'll date you know but you're okay for November and November I know it's March but November is no however however however knowing what I know now knowing how it all ended up I kind of regret it now oh lovely pigeon Herbert I'm not going to go into any of the details of her reason for coming to see me but

it was it was a practical issue that was causing distress and the practical situation was sorted so there's certain clients situations that you know like no you could not date that person because well I keep having to press pause to cough oh dear um yeah it's just some people is you know I mean I never I never got into counseling to date people I wasn't you know I mean it's just not it's just you know why why would anyone do that but you don't know where you're gonna meet the love of your life you know

or someone that you can be happy with we don't know do we don't know in life when that's gonna happen it could be on a plane and we're now going to list every single possibility you know and it just hap so happens this was just the wrong place if I'd have met at any other situation I waiting for a bus or but then she wouldn't have got to know me probably I don't I don't think I mean I don't know but I don't think it was just my amazing good looks that attracted her to me

in fact I'm pretty certain that that's never happened ever so she liked me as a person and she wanted to be with me or at least or go out for a date I guess just to find out if there was if she'd enjoy well she knew she'd enjoy being with me but you know because she already did enjoy spending time with me but it's a different dynamic isn't it completely but anyway the bottom line is I said no and I didn't and although it was the right thing to do I think personally it didn't feel

right how weird is that eh it felt right professionally um but from my perspective what I'm trying to what I was saying earlier but it depends what they come to you for so she didn't divulge to me any like serious personal information she didn't come to see me for very long and it was kind of a practical issue that resulted in you know emotional stress due to what was happening and I think part of it was already sorted before she even came to see me because she'd been on a waiting list anyway I don't you

know I don't feel I've never seen her since and this was blimey nine years ago now quite some time I'm sure you agree well it might be 2013 no 2012 yeah 2012 it's a nine years ago so you know blimey she might be in America she might be she could be anywhere couldn't she she might be married to a prince somewhere so yeah and that's it you've got no idea why I told you all those stories but I did so I've made a recording so I shall do this upload it after editing it and it'll

be available to listen to it so that's it I'm gonna go thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love bye