#634 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello, it's jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

My website is jasonnewland.com where you can stream free and download free all of my recordings. Every single episode of my podcasts are all on there. Yay.

Aren't you lucky? So welcome, hope you're well. It's Thursday the 8th of April 2021. Yay.

I'm tired. Yesterday, all my troubles. Yesterday, I was going to do some kind of relaxation session.

But I, as I have done in the past, I went off track a little bit, slightly. And I realised that my biggest distraction in life is me. The only thing that could distract me, the thing that can distract me the most is myself and my mind.

I get very distracted. I'm a very, very, very, very focused person at times. But then I can be focused and distracted at the same time because the focus changes.

So I'm still very focused. But that focus can be quite flexible in what it pays attention to. 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.Me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

So I did a recording yesterday or the day before. It was really good. I forget what it was.

I think it was the Sleep Hypnosis Weekly number 73. Now I can't remember what I said in it. But I do recall feeling that it was a very competent piece of work.

So you may want to check it out. Yeah, I think it was like whilst I was doing it and then afterwards thinking, yeah, that was quite good actually. I almost sounded like I knew what I was talking about.

Of course, we all know I don't. But we forget that. We pretend.

We have to pretend. But it sounded quite good. Almost, almost professional.

Maybe semi. Yeah, maybe that's a better word for it. I didn't have a semi.

I'm semi-professional. Yeah, I'm not sure. I was fairly pleased.

And then yesterday I did a stress and pain relief podcast episode. And that had a few merits to it also, I think. And I can see myself producing more of these recordings.

I suppose hypnosis would be a word. But my version, my style. I use the word style very, very generously when I aim it at myself.

You know, my way of doing things, perhaps. But today I want to talk about adverts. I'm going to talk about adverts.

Because I went online to listen, well no, just to read some reviews. Actually, no, I didn't. Well, I did.

But I was, I think I was searching for my, I was searching for something by putting my name in to Google. And as Google does, you know, you put in a word or it fills it in and put lots and lots of different options. So you got Jason Newland, relaxation, Jason Newland, sleep, hypnosis, all these things I could have clicked on to search for.

One of them, though, was Jason Newland reviews. So I thought, why not? Let's have a little look. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to read you some stuff.

It dawned on me that people are more likely to write a review if they don't like something. Which I don't really understand that mentality, but it's I mean, I guess it's an Internet thing. But I found some reviews and I'm going to read you some not so nice reviews.

So that's going to be, it's probably a bit of a weird thing because I know that negative reviews can have an effect. But if you're listening to this and you already like what I do, then it's going to have no effect because it's just a bunch of words. But.

A specific subject kept coming up, and that was the adverts. So before I go through the reviews, I just let you know, you know, I've actually set up a whole podcast and paying for it, you know, on. And.

What was it called? Let me have a look. SoundCloud. The SoundCloud.

Dot com forward slash Jason Newland or one word. That's my SoundCloud podcast. There's 1037 tracks to listen to.

And I've basically uploaded a lot of the most recent podcasts I've been doing over the last three years. And I've got up to number 300 and let me bore you to sleep. So there's still that's not even half the amount I've done, but.

It's quite time consuming, so I will do a few more maybe later today, tomorrow, whenever. So eventually it will be all up to date, but it's not quite up to date yet, but it is in playlists. And so.

Sleep hypnosis weekly. That's all in playlists. It's nearly up to date.

Relaxation, hypnosis, stress, anxiety and panic attacks. Again, there's no ads in brackets. Yeah, that's nearly up to date.

Deep sleep whisper with no ads. That's nearly up to date. Let me bore you to sleep.

That's three. You know, I mean. You get me.

I really. Sit in the park. And, you know, do a video.

Of me talking about. Doing videos. So.

That's where I am with that. And. I'm not asking for any suggestions for shortcuts because I don't believe in shortcuts.

There are no shortcuts in life. Shortcuts lead to. I've seen so many people try and take shortcuts.

In the physical world. A couple of it. One person.

Well, it was a place that I knew. I'm always dreaming. They got a man.

To. Build or to basically set up. They had a floor.

This is community thing. And they had they took over a floor. Above them.

And they got someone. That they knew a friend. To.

Do it all up. Paint it and get it ready. And this person put in a. Boiler or something.

Heated and system. Himself by hand. So they saved themselves probably.

A couple of thousand pound by getting him to do it. And I don't know a week. After it was set up.

The heating system flooded. It wasn't set up properly. Flooded.

Flooded the entire building. Causing. Probably.

15,000 pounds worth of damage. If not more. It doesn't you know dislike.

That's a shortcut. No. No such.

Shortcuts. No such thing. As far as I'm concerned.

I've seen it before. People buying stuff that don't work. People buying secondhand things.

That just break. Recondition up or recondition laptops. They just break.

If they you know. You probably get the warranty period. And then they break.

They just stop working. There's a reason why they were reconditioned. Because they stopped working.

Probably. There's a reason why. Quite often people will.

Sell. Or give away. A secondhand fridge.

Or freezer. Or cooker. Or television.

Or whatever. It's probably not working properly. Maybe not up to spec.

You know. Perhaps it cuts out every now and then. But let's not tell the person that's buying it though.

You know. I think it goes for even getting stuff for free. It's better to buy something new.

Than to get something for free. That doesn't work. Or that's going to break down.

I moved in here. I was given. A washing machine.

Wow I forgot all about that. I was given. A washing machine.

By one of the neighbours. Now. Some people.

Around here. They do give to receive. And I think.

There's a lot of people. Millions and millions around the world. That have that mentality.

Where they will give. I don't want nothing for it. That's fine.

And then. The next day or whatever. I can't believe I gave him that stuff.

And he didn't give me anything back. In return for it. That's because you said you didn't want anything in return.

No that's not how it works. He's supposed to give me something. But you said you didn't want anything in return.

Yeah but you could have at least got me some beers. I gave him all that stuff. You said.

That. You. Didn't want.

Anything. In. Return.

Yeah but. Where I come from. We don't just take stuff.

You offered it. To him. He didn't ask you for it.

You offered it. To him. Yeah we should have at least offered me something.

But in return. You. He.

Asked you. If you wanted. Anything in return.

He said. Would you what do you want for this. What can I give you for this.

Do you want money for this. And you said. I don't want anything.

In return. Yeah but it's. It's you know the least you can do is.

Do we need to keep going over this again. How complicated. Really is it.

How. You said you didn't. Want.

Anything. But then that's the person that's going to give you something. That doesn't work properly.

Also it's probably. Possibly someone that will give you something. That doesn't even belong to them.

You know they'll borrow something or someone else. Then they'll lend it to you. And they feel like they've done you a favor.

When actually it's a person that's lent them the thing. That's done that person a favor. That don't make sense.

Yeah it does. Okay. You lend me a fridge.

You're doing me a favor by lending me a fridge. If I lend that fridge to a new neighbor. While he's waiting for his new fridge to come through.

So if I lend him that fridge for two weeks. I'm lending him your fridge. You're the one.

That's doing that person a favor. Because it's your fridge. Now first of all.

I should be asking you permission. To lend that person the fridge. Because it's yours.

Yeah. But I'm not doing someone else a favor. If the thing doesn't belong to me.

So. It's like having the internet. Password.

To your neighbor's house. Your next door neighbor. You got the internet password.

And then someone moves in next door to you. The other side. You give that person.

The password. To your other neighbors. Internet broadband.

It's not yours to give. You're not doing the favor. The person giving.

Indirectly. Is the other neighbor. Does this sound quite realistic to you.

I used to have a neighbor. He's not even a neighbor. He's a friend of a neighbor.

He lives doesn't even live in this road. And he would come here. Even told me blatantly told me.

He came here. And he'd sit in the kitchen. And he would download.

Hundreds and hundreds of hours worth of stuff. Using my broadband. Because somehow.

He got hold of the password. I didn't. I did not give him the password.

So. Probably someone. Did him a favor.

And. Was really kind to him. By giving him.

My password. To my broadband. Because this.

He was being sharing. And doing him a favor. No.

I'm the one doing the favor. Because I'm the one paying for the broadband. And I'm the one that couldn't get a discount.

On my broadband. Because of how much usage I've had. And I couldn't figure out.

How come I was using so much. Didn't realize the entire. The entire town.

Was using my broadband. There were people in China. That were using my broadband.

And that's a lie. I might have got distracted. I just realized.

I might have got a little bit distracted. To me. If I give someone something.

That's it. I don't want anything in return. I'm not expecting anything in return.

I mean the amount of people that. Over the years. Knocked on my door.

Asking for stuff. Some just blatantly asking. I mean there's this person.

That borrowed money off me. You know when I first moved in. Didn't know that he was dodgy.

Untrustworthy. A liar. Whatever.

And he didn't pay me the money back. Took me for a complete mug. Absolutely.

But anyway. He still asks to borrow money. And he takes exception.

To the fact that I say no. Three times last week. He asked me to borrow money.

One time he even knocked on my door. And he did an old trick of his. Where.

It was. Almost as if we'd already. Discussed and agreed it.

Previously. Knocked on the door. Yeah I'm here just to get that money.

That 20 pounds. What? Yeah have you got 20 pounds? Not. Can I borrow 20 pounds please? No made up excuse.

Because he used to. In the past. Oh.

My uncle's. In the hospital. Because his.

His. Ears fell off. And.

He. Had to be taken. To the other side of the country.

To a specialist. Ear falling off hospital. And.

I need to get to him. Because he's. 400 miles away.

And. I'm going to have to stay in a hotel. And the train journey is going to.

Be a lot so I have to get. I have to get a plane. Across the country because I can't afford the train.

But the plane is going to cost lots of money. And I have to stay in a hotel. And I. I'm really worried about his ears.

Because. I used to. Do a magic trick.

Where I used to pull. A coin from behind his ears. And I don't know what I'll do now.

Because if he hasn't got any ears. I won't be able to do that trick. And I'll feel really sad.

And all I want to do is visit him. And. Give him a cuddle.

That's all I want. Like. Okay.

What can I do? What can I lend? Can I borrow £20 please? What? So for £20 you're going to fly. To the other side of the country. You're going to stay in a hotel.

You know. It's like come on. Once he.

He sent up somebody. I found out afterwards. He sent someone up.

Who. Had. This bloke.

One of my lovely friends. He knocked on my door and he says. I said you can help me.

And. I need to get to the hospital. Now I knew that he was a bit unwell.

And he did need to. This was New Year's Day. I think it was.

And. No not you. It was a different time.

Yeah. I said well what do you need? He said I need £10. But.

I gave him £10. And then a few days later he told me. Oh yeah it wasn't.

It was. That was for him. I owed him £10 and he made me come and get it from you.

That same person. The one that borrowed the £10. I didn't get that money back.

He knocked on my door. New Year's Day. About two years ago.

Saying. I'm stuck here. I've got nowhere to get home.

I don't know what to do. I need some money. Sorry mate.

Got nothing. Bye. I didn't have any money.

But the fact is. If you borrow money. And you don't pay it back.

And you avoid the person. Then. When they come back for more money.

They don't get any. Normally that's how it works. Normally.

But some people are so. I don't know. I think it's dim.

I think it's that they think that I'm dim. I think maybe. But it turned out that there was.

People downstairs. And there was a group of them. And they were basically taking turns.

To come and ask me for money. And one of them came up and said. Yeah sorry.

I hate to ask you. But it's your turn. Now at the time.

I was here with. A Saturday night. I was here with a girlfriend.

And I found it funny. I don't know why. And I just.

I think she gave him 20 pound. But for some reason. I think I was so.

Grateful perhaps. To have this flat. To have somewhere to live.

That I almost. Went out of my way to. To meet the people that lived there.

Went out of my way to be friendly. Which is something that I've never done before. And will never do again.

I add that. I do. I will speak to anyone that lives.

In a place. I'll say hello to anyone. But.

I'm not going to get personally involved. With. Any neighbors in the future.

So anyone that moves in here. You know. I'll speak to them.

And have a chat. Walk to the garage with them. You know whatever.

But I'm not going to be getting involved. In their personal life. And it won't happen again.

I don't need that. Some people need it. Some people need that.

Almost everyone. I don't need anything just to have a friend. And I don't feel that way.

Because friends aren't really that important to me. People come and go. I can make friends quite easily.

And it's not really a huge struggle for me. People tend to. I tend to get on with people.

Generally. So. People come people go.

And I discovered that as a child. You know. And maybe it's.

Maybe it's not that healthy but. I don't get attached to people. The only person I'm attached to is Andre.

That's it. In the whole world. Andre.

Is my only attachment. And it doesn't mean that I wouldn't miss people. Doesn't mean that I don't care.

But as far as an emotional attachment. Andre. Is my little boy.

You know. You know if he. If he needed a new kidney.

I would give him my kidney. If I could. That's you know.

Obviously my kidney. I don't think there's enough room. Up his bum for my kidney.

However they put them in. A transplant. But he.

But I don't have that. Feeling really. I did.

The lady. Her name was Paige. This.

Lady that worked in a place that. I really fell in love with her. Years ago.

And I used to think that. That someone that I would do. Anything for.

Even though she didn't really like me. And that's unhealthy as well. I think.

Why would I. Fall in love with someone that doesn't. Obviously I don't really know her. But how am I able to have.

Even. Fantasies like emotional. Romantic.

Fantasies about someone. That clearly doesn't even like me. It was a mixture between.

Not liking me. And not even. Acknowledging my existence.

It was you know some. A thin line there somewhere. Yet whenever I was nearer.

I just felt something. I want to say nearer. I don't mean hiding.

Outside a bedroom in a tree. That rarely happened. No I mean it really happened.

Not really. That didn't ever never happen. Oh come on me climbing a tree.

If I climbed. A tree right. The fire service.

Would be called. To rescue the tree. I think that's a funny joke.

I'm not sure. And. So.

I'm not sure what my point is. If there is a point. Usually isn't.

But I don't mind. I really don't mind. Then.

Now this is weird. I don't understand this. I've been.

I started this recording. I'm sure I started at half. It was like.

Twenty past five. Now it's twenty past six. And I'm only thirty three minutes in.

That's weird. I don't understand that. What was I doing.

Before. I mean I went. To look at something.

These reviews. But. So like going to a different page.

But I don't think that stops the recording. It's a weird thing. So I'm looking at these adverts again.

Usually people use ads to boost their product. Well the adverts are there for that. But it's not for me to boost my product.

I don't really have a product. Do I. Yeah ads. This podcast is useless with the ads.

Don't talk about how buff you are. This is a very old one. I don't know what this is.

This is from. RMVRGF. So obviously it's just.

Basically it's spam. Or not spam. Trolling.

I'm not convinced Jason. You lull me to sleep. But you don't trick my brain.

I think that's kind of a bit of a. Like humorous one. Don't talk about how buff you are. I hope it's humorous.

Because I'm an idiot. Because. Not once have I seriously said.

That I'm buff. And to be fair. Anyone who uses a word like buff.

Is probably a kid. So. But if it's jokey.

Then good on you. I love it. But if it was a serious comment.

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

Really. Really. Absolutely ridiculous.

Hmm. Oh. Someone's actually a nice one here.

Lenny Louie. Lenny Lou too. Thank you.

This podcast. Has really helped me sleep. Thank you so much.

That's lovely isn't it. I also just recently removed. Which helps a lot.

You're going to be in for a surprise. Helpful to sleep. Only one complaint.

Here we go. This is an old one as well. So these are from quite a while.

It just shows you the internet. Likes to hold on to negativity. Loves to hold on to that stuff.

For some reason. I listen to him almost every night. To fall asleep.

His voice is very soothing. He wakes almost every time. To get me.

To sleep. Great find. Only problem is.

I feel like I. Have to skip over a third. Of the. Because.

You can hear birds in the background. Birds wake me up at 430. In the morning.

They don't help me sleep. If he caught those birds. Out of the background.

It would be. Perfect. Give him a try though.

I think he'll be pleased. Probably not going to do that. After that message.

I don't think I was going to read that. And think. Oh yeah.

I think I'll give him a try. Probably he's going to think I'm rubbish. Now normally.

I don't like agreeing. With people that are negative. But.

My recordings in the past. Did have too much. Bird background.

Because I was making recordings. Early in the morning. Because nighttime.

Is the quietest. Almost the only time. That I could make recordings.

Without. Council folk. Swearing and shouting.

At each other. In the gardens. Or even in their own homes.

F in this. I can't believe I said F in. Now they can't all be thick.

I know people with. Possibly even. Better.

Vocabulary. Like. That use.

Really. You know. That know words.

That use words. That I don't really use. And they still swear.

It's. Laziness. I think.

Very very lazy. I swear though. But not.

Not as much. As I used to. But I think it's.

I think some people keep the novelty factor. Going with swearing. You know when you get a 10 year old.

Or 11 year old. Or a teenager. And they've just learnt to swear.

And every other word is F. And S. And C. Because it's almost. They're getting off by saying it. It's new.

It's a new adventure. It's almost. It's.

You know. It's. It's akin to seeing.

Your first naked. Torso. It's like.

Oh. Poo. Poo.

And damn. Oh. You twit.

You know. Things that you know. Really hard strong swear words.

Like that. So. You know.

Going with the. The background sounds. Is one of the main reasons.

Why I got. The new microphone. So that there's less in the way.

Of background sounds. In any of my recordings now. Not completely gone.

And there's still work to do. On the sound. But compared to what it was.

It's a heck of a lot better. And. The next one is a loud advertising.

I love this man's voice. And I. Do relax. And.

Do slip. Into a lovely slumber. Dash.

Dash. Dash. And then.

Dash. Dash. Dash.

Jolted awake. With very loud. Advertisements.

I just can't take the. The abrupt. Transition.

So I have to say. Goodbye to this app. So.

Yeah. Fair enough. There's no reason.

Why they should have been. Any. Adverts at the end.

See this is. Chartable. For Jason Newlands.

Free hypnosis. Service. Again.

These. Blind me. This is from two.

Recent. 4.3 stars. From 18 ratings.

So there's only three. One of a kind. I love Jason.

His quirky clever sessions. Are like no other. Just listen and absorb.

And don't think much about. What he's saying. He is a genius.

That's what it says there. I'm not. Saying it about myself.

He is a. Damn good looking genius. Beautiful. Beautiful face.

That's me. I'm adding that bit. And he regularly.

Offers fresh content. This is from 2008. 18.

I do regularly. Offer fresh content. Don't I. That's one thing.

You can say about me. Might be rubbish. But at least it's fresh.

It's regular rubbish. It is in fact. You could say that I'm regular.

Bowel movements. Sometimes. He's hysterical.

I do. Must be when I scream. And stuff.

His spontaneous playful. Sense of humour. Is a plus.

Sometimes he's superficial. Oi. What are you talking about.

Superficial. How dare you. I don't mind being called superficial.

Sometimes profound. Yep. Profound.

Profundity. Just keep listening. In just a few weeks.

He has helped me. With pain relief. And sleep.

Also he helped me. To quickly. Put an end.

To biting. My nails. Which I had done.

For all my life. And also. I no longer eat coal.

So yeah. That's good isn't it. Couple more here.

Oh right. Amazing podcast. I started listening to this podcast.

When I had a difficult time. During exams. I discovered.

This podcast. And would listen to it every night. Immediately.

I immediately. Felt more relaxed. And I would fall asleep.

After a while. I listened to all. All of Jason's.

Podcasts. And. Would really recommend them.

To people. Who find it. Difficult to.

Relax or to sleep. It definitely. Is a game changer.

At first. You might not feel a difference. But after a while.

You. Already feel relaxed. By the first sentence.

Of. The podcast. I truly love these.

Podcasts. Thank you. That's lovely.

That was from 2018 as well. So. Three years ago.

Thank you a true godsend. Oh thank you. Another one.

Not all hypnosis it says. Once I realized. Some.

Are discussions. It became clear. Now I know that.

I should look for. Hypnosis. Or a talk.

Only some are relevant. To me. Of course.

But I wish he had. Some for general feelings. Of lousy.

Coming down with something. Fluey. Ickiness.

Again that was. Three years ago. Someone.

This is four years ago. Thank you. A true godsend.

Thank you very much. And then there's one from. Four years ago again.

Chronic pain hypnosis is awesome. I can walk a little better. On my sore foot.

Thank you. Oh. That's nice.

Right. Don't.Me.

Wrong. Better. Better.

Better. Better. Feeling.

Bing. Bong. Bong.

Bing. Bong. Bong.

Don't. Get.Me.

Wrong. Okay. Sleep hypnosis weekly.

More people moaning. Sleep hypnosis weekly. First time listener.

New nightly ritual. All right. Don't know when this was.

And it doesn't allow me to read the whole thing. I was having a really stressful day at work. And was looking to find some peace.

As soon as I heard Jason's voice. I was calmer. I listened to three episodes in a row that day.

To help keep my anxiety at bay. Oh. That rhymed.

To hear he has a ferret that he addresses. Made it feel even better. Yeah.

I was excited to leave a review. To let Jason know how much he helps. Hi.

Okay. That's very nice. That was from Sy War.

Sy War. See. I don't understand.

This person has given me five stars. Okay. They said.

It was. It was. It was super misleading.

By the reviews. This is great. And there's a picture of an alien's face.

So I have no idea what that means. But they gave me a five star review. Another person gave me two stars.

And says Bruno. Bruno. Bruno.

B-U-N-O. Whatever that is. Oh.

This is. Oh. This is the most horrible one ever.

I'm just getting ready for this by sound. Ready. I couldn't even get through.

Five minutes. Of this. Without turning it off.

The narrator talks like a sloth. Pausing between every. Few words.

And although. I guess it's. Supposed to be.

Calming. It's not. Also.

You can hear the saliva. You can hear the saliva. In his mouth.

Sloshing away. I did this sloshing away bit. You can hear the saliva in his mouth.

Periodically. Which is gross. And the thing I dislike the most.

Is sometimes I can hear him breathing. I don't want my podcasts. To contain.

Breathing. Out of order. That is not a bit erm.

So maybe some people like this guy. But definitely not for my jam. Definitely not.

Definitely. Not my jam. Okay.

So that's. Yeah. Blimey.

I wonder if this is. This is Apple. Oh okay.

Erm. Alright here we go. Again.

Thank you so much. This is 2020. 18th of April.

Dan and Laura. This podcast is a godsend. For anyone who just can't switch off.

For me I'm constantly worrying. About how I should be sleeping. But can't.

However. Listening to Jason talk. About sleep.

At a gentle. Speaking volume. In a slow.

Steady. Rhythm. Sends me off to sleep.

Easily. I especially like that he now releases. Two versions of each episode.

To suit whatever you like to relax. To music. Or prefer silence in the background.

Thank you so much. Laura. Thank you Laura.

That's a lovely review. Erm. Didn't mention my saliva.

Sloshing around in my mouth like a. Broken washing machine. So I do. Appreciate your kind words.

This next one is from. October 2020. Too.

Slow. For me. I like.

The content. Of what. Is being.

Said. But. It seems.

I fell asleep there. Oh yeah. I like the content.

I like the content. Of what is being said. But it seems to be said.

Very slowly. For me it makes. Blah blah blah.

So basically. Didn't like my slow voice. Which.

Yeah. Fair enough. ZZZ says.

As a college student of music. I tend to not get very much. Sleep at all as it goes.

As an ironic. Cherry on top of the sundae. Of lice cruel jokes.

I'm also an insomniac. This podcast. Really.

Helps. Cheers Jason. You're an absolute.

Geese. An absolute geese. That's cool.

So that's from. Apple podcasts. But as I said.

There's been a few. Um. Rubbish reviews.

They were the ones. That generally. The negative.

Are all focused. On the adverts. I just fell asleep again.

How weird. Anyway. I'm going to go.

Thank you for listening. Remember. To be kind to yourself.

Because. You. Deserve.

To be happy. Lots of love. Bye.