#611 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Don't worry, that's the end of that singing.

I shall not be singing throughout the whole adventure. Oh, that's good. Hey baby, how you doing? It is Saturday the 13th of March 2021.

It is half past 11, well 11.24 in the evening. Yes it is. And yeah, have not been the most productive today.

If I'm honest. And as you may probably be aware, I don't like being honest. Although, actually that's not totally true.

I've not been productive with, now wait a minute. No I did, I made a recording today early. I did, I did a relaxation for stress and anxiety podcast.

So yeah, I have been productive. I did a recording or two. One with music, one without and now this.

So yeah, but there's been a big gap between the two recordings. A big, big gap. However, I have done some tidying up.

So I've done some vacuuming of my bedroom. Tidied the bedroom because there was the aftermath of the shed. So it was very messy in there and eventually I decided enough is enough.

And so I, I pushed most of the stuff into the hallway. Which forced me to do something because I was struggling to get into the bathroom. So I caused this big obstacle for myself which wasn't there before.

Because it didn't matter because it was in the bedroom and it was in a part of the bedroom that I didn't need to access. So I've kind of forced myself to have to tidy up and get rid of it. So I ended up with a few black bag fulls of rubbish and vacuumed the bedroom, vacuumed the hallway.

So the hallway is now clear. The bedroom is pretty much clear. So I've got my exercise bike in there.

I've got my sit-up bench in there. I'm gonna move the workout bench in there from here. Probably do that tomorrow.

I'll move the weights in there as well. The only exercise thing I'll leave in here is the punch bag because that's already attached to the wall. So I'll leave that here.

And so yeah that's pretty good. I'll be pleased because once I move the exercise bench from here that'll make this room a little bit bigger. Well a little bit more space.

Having got rid of all of that stuff is, I've made a bit more space in the living room as well. There's still stuff to do. Still quite a bit to do.

So yeah it hasn't been a complete nothing. You know what I mean? Hasn't, you know, not been a waste of the day. So I did get something done.

Yeah so it's just, I don't know, this part of me thinks I should be doing more. I should be doing more. Should be getting more done.

More done. Now that I'm, you know, heading towards 30. Stone.

And now I'm heading to, you know, now that I'm, you know, moving towards middle age. Or how can a 50 year old man talk the way I talk? I don't sound 50 do I? I might look it. I don't think I do.

But you know, I know I don't sound 50. For anyone that didn't know I was 50, you wouldn't think I was 50. Would you? Be honest.

I'm not, I'm not asking for you to blow any, blow smoke up my bum. Just, I mean if you want, if you want to. But yeah I'm not asking for compliments.

Just from a factual perspective, I don't sound 50. And I don't talk like a responsible adult do I? I think that's the thing as well. So I've got a thank you to say.

Or I've got some messages to read out. Rachel. I've got some messages to read out.

You wait. So I want to say thank you. First of all, where is it? Where is it? Okay.

So I want to give a big shout out to Viola. Or voila. Viola.

I think it's Viola. But yeah, I was. But Viola, hi.

Thank you very much for your PayPal gift. Couldn't come at a better time really. It's, um, I've been paying out quite a lot of money recently.

And I do sometimes forget that I have to buy food for myself. And deodorant. And that's something that the neighbors keep reminding me about.

You're going to get some deodorant soon, Jason. You're beginning to whiff again. So yeah, that's bills and all that stuff.

So I know getting a decent microphone and paying for editing software and all that stuff and the podcast costs. It does add up. It really does.

But sometimes I forget that I also need to get, you know, pay for stuff as well. Like the important things like bills and electric and gas bill. So and food and you know, so thank you.

So very, very kind of you for sending me that PayPal gift. I do appreciate it. So that's going to help me over the next week to get by.

Because I just keep leaving myself with nothing. I wouldn't. I don't mind.

I don't mind doing it. But it'd be a little bit easier if it was stuff that I was for me. You know, this microphone isn't for me.

This is for you. This is all for you. So it's not like it's a sports car, or the world's biggest bar of chocolate or something like that.

Now that would be for me. And all that, you know, the editing software, the editing, monthly editing thing, the Adobe Cloud thing that I pay for. Not really for me.

It's not. It's for you. It's for this to make these things better.

And so none of it is really, I mean, even when I got the iPad, it's not for me. Yeah, I'm using it. I didn't really want.

Yeah, we didn't particularly want an iPad at the time. But the laptop was broke. I couldn't afford to buy a decent laptop.

But the iPad was available to get on a contract. So I didn't have to pay for it. And just pay monthly for about 100 years.

So that's what I did. And I'm glad really, because I managed to learn how to use it because it's a little bit of a bit of a learning curve, as it were, having been used to Windows and PCs. All of my, you know, all of my computer life, you know, since 2000.

If that's not since the late 90s. So I was working in an office using computers in the late 90s. So yeah, since I don't 98.

I've been using PCs, never use Apple never used, you know, any of that stuff. Apart from the iPhone. So I had an iPad back in 2011.

I didn't like it, couldn't use it, didn't know how to use it, couldn't be bothered. And ultimately, it just became a dust collector. I use it a little bit, but I just didn't didn't like it.

This time. I learned how to do everything that I was able to do on a laptop. Editing, making images, searching for things, recording videos, or anything that I was able to do on a PC.

I can pretty much now do on the iPad, but it's harder on the iPad. It's much easier on a PC. But that might just be because I know my way around a PC.

You know, a Microsoft package, it's just easier for me because it's what I'm used to. But I do like the iPad now. If I'm honest, I do like it.

Because yeah, I think I prefer, I don't know. See, I've got the PC here, which is really good. It's big, it's a big screen.

I like that. Getting used to the big keyboard again was weird. I was stretching my fingers out in a way that I haven't done for ages.

I think I sure did a joke about that the other night. And it's easy. It's just so much easier to use.

It's slower. The iPad is pretty much instant. The computer is the PC is slower, but it's I find it's easier to use.

Plus, I can't use and the reason I got it really is so that I can then do the editing because I can't use the editing software on the iPad. So the package that I've got, it's the Adobe cloud, basically 50 pound a month and you get access to everything that they have. Whether it's building websites with Dreamweaver, Audition, which is the editing software and recording software for audio.

And then there's the the editor video editing, PR, Premiere, Premiere, video editing software, and lots of other things. And what they do is you download them to your PC hard drive, and then you have access to them as long as you pay, as long as you pay the monthly fee. And it's and they update it like regularly.

See, it's always up to date any new bits and bobs they add to it's always added. So it's really good. And it's not reliant upon the internet.

Although it's from the cloud, you're not reliant upon only using it when the internet's working. So even if the internet's not up, I can still edit, record, I can still download all kind of everything I can do on it I can do. The only thing I wouldn't be able to do is upload it to YouTube or upload it to the internet, or download an update.

Anything else I can do without the internet. And it's just bad that it's better than an app. Personally, I mean, I was it the iPad, just like the iPhone, just like any tablets.

Also Chromebook as well. And to be fair, a lot of desktop laptops, wherever they're all kind of moving towards the app. And they're limited.

You know, if you're using something that is either from the cloud, and you're using it online, which is brilliant if you can do that. But there's a certain amount of things that you you know, if you're spending a lot of time building something, whether it's an image of video animations, audio, website, whatever it is, you're spending a lot of time doing, you want to be able to know that it's safe. And it's not just gonna cut out and freeze and you won't lose what you're doing.

With a PC, if it's safe, if the if the software's on the hard drive, you it means that what you're doing is saved. So if the computer just shuts off, you might lose what you're doing there. And then, but usually there's, you know, continuously updating bits, they are, you know, they up, they save as you go along.

See what I said just then made a little bit of sense to me. And then I thought, making sense, though, you know? I think so. Boring.

Yeah. Especially the people that aren't interested. But then isn't everything boring? If you're not interested in it? You know, it could be anything you could be talking about.

Let me tell you about my lottery win and how I won $20 million and then spent it all within eight months. Now, I want to hear that story. You know, I genuinely would want to hear that story.

And I would happily take someone to the pub and buy them drinks all night. As they tell me the story, that's something I'd like to hear. But for some other people of mine, that's boring.

I'm interested. Now I'm interested. I can't help it.

That's like, wow, that's a story to hear. You know, for me, it's almost as I suppose it, it entails lots of different things I'm mildly interested in. Lottery winning, I don't even do the lottery.

But I love hearing people win the lottery, and hearing what they do with the winnings. And it's not even so much that I'm putting myself in their underpants, like thinking, what would I do if I was, if I was them? It's a little bit of that. But as I said, I don't do the lottery.

So I don't have for me, I want to earn my money. I want to. If I'm in a position of being wealthy, I want to be able to know that I did it myself.

And I earned it and I worked hard. And I deserve that money. And therefore I'm going to waste it and get but you know, lottery win.

I think I'm a little bit lazy. And I don't know if it would be good for me to win huge amounts of money. I mean, I'll give it a go.

I'll test it out just just as a an experiment. So don't get me wrong. If you're sitting there think you know, you just won the lottery won 200 million on the on the American lottery.

And you're thinking, well, perhaps we should give give Jason a million quid because he's done such an amazing job and devote 15 years of his life to this weird thing that he does. Give him a million pound let him have some fun. Have you know, and they've heard me say I don't want to I don't want lottery winnings.

I want to earn my own money. Well, I was lying back then. I do want free money.

I do want your million please. Thank you very much. You know, if you were about to give me a million dollars or a million pounds or a million euros and a million francs, I don't know what a million francs is.

A million of anything apart from those countries where a million or something doesn't mean anything. Like you know, a million. Is it Thailand like a million something is worth about 5 grand or something.

Although I'd still take 5 grand. I mean, it's 5000 more than I've got. Now that's that's that's not right.

It's 4945 pound more than I've got. Yeah, baby. Hmm.

That's weird. Just see the strange pattern on the table. So yeah.

Was I talking about being a millionaire? Yes. I don't know. It's I don't know how I would deal if I was suddenly won a huge amount of money.

I have I have daydreams about it or night dreams about it. You know, more so. See, I don't dream about it.

So it's not something like a wish fulfilling thing. I don't dream about it when I sleep. But I kind of daydream about it when I'm sometimes lying in bed.

And it's always the same thing. It's me giving away the money. Not all of the money.

But, you know, I kind of figure if I had 10 million, then I'd need to give away at least a million to family, friends, maybe 2 million to family and friends. And, you know, to friends or maybe give 10 grand, 20 grand, 50 grand to some people. And then, you know, people like close family, brothers, dads, parents, parents, people that are, yeah, relatives, close relatives.

I'd give like a lot more. So I just have these shares, maybe 100 grand to each of the brother, you know, to them. So and to nieces and nephews and stuff.

So that's and some cousins and things. So that'd be like a million. Easy, just even if 100 grand I can, there's 10 people easy I could find.

And then there's another, I could probably think of 10 friends, even ones that I don't see anymore, but that have had a big influence on my life. Even I mean, as a friend, I don't see anymore and we fell out. But he was good to me for a long time.

And, you know, I loved him. And he, you know, we fell out over something that was petty, but that's how it goes. But I would still help him out him out.

I wouldn't, I wouldn't visit him. But I would send him, I would send somebody to take him a briefcase full of cash, 100 grand or, you know, whatever. And also get them to probably hit him with a bat or something.

No. So give him you know, so even people that are not in my life anymore. I've got some cousins that I was very close to.

Very, very, very like, practically brother and sisters. There's cousins brought they were brother and sister, and they were like distant cousins, but I ended up living with their mum, who's my landlady. And then I lived with the girl and never lived with the boy, but I used to see him regularly.

And they're not boys and girls. Now they're adults. They were pretty much adults then, where I lived with, with them with the mother.

I didn't live with her, but rented a room. And I became really close to both of them. Like those like my brother and sister.

And, but I don't see them anymore. I haven't seen them for a long, long, long time. And you know, that's how life is.

But if I came into some money, like proper, like a lottery win, if I did the lottery, of course, I would give them money. You know, I would try my best to change their life. So yeah, I could give them five grand, but that's, it's not going to change their life in a long term way.

It could be really careful. And the five grand could be the difference between, you know, for some people losing their house, because if they haven't got enough to pay for the mortgage, that 5000 pound could keep them safe for a few months. Well, you know, while they get themselves sorted out.

So of course, that could be have a huge impact. But I think I'd like to do something like life changing in a way that they could then do what they want, you know. I quite like the idea of gift, gifting somebody enough money, so they can leave their job if they wanted to, you know, so enough so they could do whatever they wanted to do.

So you know, it's okay, giving them something say, Well, I will go on holiday, that's nice, or get an extension for the house. Cool. But something where they can say, You know what, I can leave that job, I can retire early, or I can get a move to another country, go traveling, maybe re educate, go to university, do that English literature degree, I always wanted to do write a book, because you know, whatever.

I quite like that idea. Given someone that opportunity. And you know, in my head, if I was like a Bill Gates type of person, that would be something that I'd kind of want to do.

But then in reality, that isn't is it? Because if I was Bill Gates, I'd be doing exactly what he does. And changing the lives of his loved ones. If you're in a position of being a Bill Gates or an Amazon man, you can do that very early on.

So what do you do next? You know, I think I remember 50 cents, 50 cents or cents, you know, the rapper, he said, I think it was an interview he did, this is years ago, like probably 1015 years ago, maybe 20 years ago, even I don't know. But I saw an interview with him and he said, the first thing he did when he got famous, is he gave money and he sorted out every single member of his family. You know, starting obviously with his parents or his mum, siblings, close relatives, and including distant cousins.

He said he sorted everybody out. I bought them all houses and whatever. So that he said that was the first thing he did.

And then he could go on and do what he wanted to do. But he said that was his priority. The first thing, and he said it felt really good, because then he knew that, I'm paraphrasing, I'm probably making it up.

It might not even been him. Wait a minute, was it Donald Trump? No, no, I forget. It was someone but I'm pretty sure it was 50 Cent.

And he said it felt really good to be able to sort out everybody. And part of the reason is because then he's not being asked for stuff. So he's not constantly having members of the family asking him for help financially.

So by helping them out straight away, so that they're on their own, you know, they're sorted, they can look after themselves like they were before. And he's all sort of he's done his bit. I quite like that.

Well, sort of, I think with my dad. See, I'm talking about winning the lottery. I need to do the lottery, don't I really? It's too late for tonight.

But there's one on here we have the lottery on Wednesday and Saturday. The National Lottery. But then I think there might be other ones as well.

I don't know. There's a Euro millions. And but see, for me, that the lottery used to be one pound.

They put up to two pound. Didn't like that. I didn't.

It didn't, didn't. It didn't feel right. It made my armpits go cold.

You know, it's, it didn't feel right to me that it should be two pound. Like for me a pound, I can waste a pound. And that's ultimately what buying a lottery ticket is.

It's a waste of a pound for 99.9.9.9.9.9% of people that do it for even if they do it for like 50 years. You know, if you it's a waste of a pound, but it's a gamble that's affordable. It's an affordable waste.

And the even though the odds, the odds against winning the lottery, or the odds for winning the lottery, wherever you want to go, and are practically non existent, someone has to win. So someone's gonna win. And someone does every single week, somebody wins.

But when you've got 60 million people, or I don't know how many people do the lottery, I reckon even if half the population buy a lottery ticket every week, that's let's say 30 million people. So it's 30 million pounds. And some of those I know, some people, they don't just buy one ticket, they'll buy, you know, sort of two, three, four tickets.

And it's not 30 million, it's 60 million, it's two, two pound a ticket. As I said that just got the image of a roast dinner in my head. That's weird, isn't it? So I, it's about a pound was a gamble.

I'll be honest, there's times I'll drop a pound. You know, if I dropped a pound on the floor, and it was, I can, you know, I will pick it up. But I'm not, you know, hugely fussed.

Unless I got no money, drop a 10 pound note on the floor, I'll pick up every single time. Even if it ends up in dog poo, I'll pick it up. You know, I mean, I'm quite 10 pound is too much just to to lose, even though it's not a lot of money in the scheme of things.

But I spent enough time in my life where I didn't even have a pound. So 10 pound, I can't just let that drop on the floor and leave it. Five pence, I probably would.

I dropped five pence on the floor. I figure, well, you know, a little kid might pick it up and it'll make their day. You know, I found 10 pence or even 20 pence sometimes if plus my back's not great.

It's bending over and last time I bent over in public, my trousers split. So that wasn't good. Yeah.

So I think for the sake of, I mean, that cost me a pair of trousers, which is more than 20 pence. So even the cheapest pair of trousers were about 30 pound. Yeah.

Especially as I've got bigger and bigger and fatter and fatter. Like a big walrus. It's more material being used in it is, of course, it's going to be more expensive, but I'm still short.

So I have to, I'm not just short, I'm short, short. I'm short within being short. So with my trousers, for example, I feel like, it's embarrassing to say, but I think I was 36 inch waist, which to me sounds too big, but anyone might.

And was it 32? No, I think it's about 34, 35, 36, but short. See a normal 36 inch waist would be on someone probably about well over six foot. I mean, I say normally, but like a normal, like a general sized, bigger sized person, but then I'm not skinny and I'm, but it's not just my waist, my whole body, not my lower body part, apart from I might have a big bum.

I don't know. I can't see it. I still think it's a funny joke.

I don't know why. And when I sit down on the floor, I'm actually taller than when I'm standing up. It's my bum so big, but I don't know.

I might have a huge bum. I don't know. I can't see it.

I generally can't, I don't, I mean, I'm not even joking. I'm not joking. I can't see it.

Cause obviously, how can you see your bum? Sometimes I move around really quickly to see if there's any bit, cause I think if it's really big, it might wobble like a big jelly. So maybe I'll turn around and it might kind of just a bit of my bum might still be there as it moves back and follows the rest of my bum. But I don't know.

But I know my legs, they're not, um, I haven't got skinny legs, but they're not fat compared to, you know, my belly and stuff. A part of my, some of my body, but my arms aren't fat either. My shoulders aren't fat.

Um, I probably got a bit of fat on me back, but it's muscle there as well. My chest, oh, my chest. I have some lovely boobs.

Um, honestly, I was just, I've always loved boobs. I just, and I know, and like, I never thought I'd be lucky enough to grow a pair of my own. You know, I was, I was always really, as I said in the past, very slim, very tight muscles.

Um, I feel I was a bit uptight as a person. I was, I think I was very tense. So I was always sort of tensing my muscles, what muscles I had.

So my chest was always muscly, but at the same time, not particularly big, you know, but now as I sprouted, my bosoms sprouted out. Um, that's the thing. It doesn't matter.

I might, my chest is bigger than my belly, which is how it's supposed to be, isn't it? So, you know, I might have a 36 inch belly, but my chest is probably, I don't know, 48 inches or I don't know, maybe less, but it's still going to be a lot bigger than my belly. So as long as your chest is bigger than your belly, I think this isn't a scientific accuracy. Please don't use this as medical advice.

You idiot. Why would you listen to me for medical advice? Andre, don't you dare poo under the table. That's where my feet go.

Where were you? I'm going to get him. Andre? No, you really are annoying. It's because he was asleep.

Say hello to everybody. Hello. Say hello to everybody, Andre.

Hello, everybody. Hello, everybody. Oh, he doesn't want to.

He wants to go back to sleep. Sorry, mate. Oh no, now he's going to the toilet.

What are you doing? You're just hiding under there. Do you know, um, just slipped over. Do you know, in movies, right? You see somebody, I mean, it's usually women.

I'm not sure if I've seen a man do it, but like they'd be in a pub or like a bar and the woman would be showing off her skills of being able to, actually, no, I've seen men do it. To be able to, so the man or the woman would put a cherry in their mouth or cherry stem in their mouth and with their tongue, make it into like a number eight or into like a knot or something. And then they take it out and then show it on their tongue.

And for some reason, that would be an indicator of their romantic prowess and skill. I don't understand quite why. I've never, I was going to say, I've never taken a cherry to bed, but once, my own once.

But Andre can do the same thing out of his bum. That's what I'm saying. He can do that with a So he literally, he kind of moves himself around and it comes out as a number eight.

You didn't know that, did you? So next time you see somebody on TV, whether it's a reality show where the person's showing off saying, look what I can do with this cherry stem, you know, with my tongue. And then they bring it out and it's like in a number eight. You can think of Andre Pooing.

Yeah, good, good association. Never understood why it comes out like that. It's almost like a Mr. Whippy, you know, because they do that, you know, when you get the double cones, like one cone, one handle, but two like cone holes.

And they do that like almost like a number eight, don't they, as they put it in. So imagine that as a chocolate ice cream. Yeah.

So just so you know, that's like Andre's bum instead of... That little monkey, he really is. What was I saying? Oh yeah, money. I'm talking about money today.

I'm talking about the lottery. I do, I fantasize about this and I'll tell you why I think it's quite nice. Because I never get to the point when I'm fantasizing, as I'm laying in bed, fantasizing about what I would do with the money.

I never get to the point where I actually spend anything on myself. It's always about what I would do to help other people. And I'm not saying that because, oh aren't I wonderful? Not at all.

It's just, I fall asleep before I get to myself. And you know, I'm old fashioned that way. I think you should please others before you please yourself.

Make sure everyone else is satisfied. And I did think though, what might be a good thing, knowing how, I don't know, volatile I've been a little bit in the past, how I've done some strange things and been a bit chaotic at times and not made great decisions. I'm trying, I'm laughing at myself, I'm trying to become a bit better.

But I mean, technically buying this microphone was a silly decision on one level. Financially, I couldn't afford to buy it. I left myself short, but I bought it anyway, because I, you know, for me, I'm just so determined to provide a better quality of sound for you.

So that's an example. But not all of my decisions have been aimed at helping other people. So I've made decisions where it's just like, oh, if even almost like for no reason.

So yeah, I bought piano once, back in 2004, when sometime bought piano, not an inexpensive, inexpensive electronic piano, you know, proper big old thing. And got it on a credit card, took it back two days later, sold it back to them for about 400 pound less than a bay for it. I mean, technically, you could say they took advantage of me.

I was going through probably a bit of a manic stage. However, still responsible for what I do. You know, I don't buy into that.

Oh, you're not responsible. I know that there are certain situations, obviously, I guess when you could say, well, the responsibility is kind of not there anymore. The self responsibility, but that wasn't the case back then.

I was just being erratic, making a decision based on either emotion, I'm not sure. I think sometimes, especially back then, I wanted to do something. I needed to do something to be able to focus on something that was bigger than me.

Not that I'm big, but something that took me away from thinking about myself. And I thought, you know, if I could learn to play the piano, it might be good for my mental health. It's using both hands and your feet as well, isn't it, for the pedals.

So it'd be activating both sides of my brain at the same time, which is very, very healthy. And knowing the way I get can get a bit obsessed over stuff, I probably would become potentially quite good at playing the piano, because that would be all I'd be doing. It's all I'd be thinking about.

The same as when I'd be when I learned to build websites. I became, I wouldn't use the word good, but competent enough to build a website from scratch. By using code alone, I could build a website, nothing particularly flashy, to be honest.

And I couldn't do it now. I can edit a website from code. So I can, I can look at a code, not all code, but I can look at codes.

And by HTML, I can see where things are. And I can, you know, so that's what I benefit from that I can almost decipher a little bit where things I can scan quite quickly. And I think I learned that also from university.

Because if you study and then you're looking for, especially for a dissertation or an essay, and you just want to find information, you have to learn to scan lots of material to find what you're looking for. So it's a little bit of a skill that I guess I learned along the way, which I think is quite handy. Because, you know, even with a download a picture to use on my image for my latest podcast.

And then I go to the image maker, and I'm I'm clicking add or upload that image. And I'm scanning through hundreds of images to find it. I can find it within seconds.

Even you know, they've all got like weird names. And I've not named it. So it's in a specific place.

It's just in a folder with hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of other images. And I can find it really, really quickly, even as a tiny little image on a screen with hundreds of others. So this is a useful skill, I guess.

Well, aren't you clever then? Is it just about patting yourself on the back time? Is it? That's what this is all about? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Maybe, maybe I need it. Maybe that's what I need today. What I thought about doing is if I won the lottery is to go away for a year.

So to not tell anybody, unless there was someone that was in need of help, you know, but I don't know anyone that is in sort of dire need of, you know, like emergency help. Because then, you know, of course, I'd need to do something there and then. But as far as I'm aware, everyone's sort of okay.

Doing better than me. And I thought, you know, this in the past, I thought, it might be healthier for me to, if suddenly I win like 4 million, let's say, to put that money in a bank. Not any kind of high interest, just stick in a bank, maybe spread out our account among a few different banks, just so that I'm, I'm covered in case the bank, you know, closes or whatever.

But just for a year, have a thing where it gives me 10 grand a month into like a different account. And just live off of that, which is fairly easy for someone like me. 10 grand.

I know some some people 10 grand is just a, it's quite a quite a well paid job. But for other people, 10 grand is like, wow, that's, that's rich being rich. It's rich, rich.

And then I could go away. And I thought, where can I go? Because I suppose more so when I was younger, but you know, the now but when I you know, there was a time if I'd have won the lottery, I would have spent a lot of money very, very quickly on stuff that I would have nothing to show at the end of it. So I probably would have gone partying and acted extravagant, you know, going into maybe like a really top celebrity nightclub or in London or somewhere.

And splashed out, you know, drinks all around and that kind of crap, and end up spending hundreds of 100 grand in one night, or gone to a casino. And, you know, basically, don't matter how much money in the world you've got. Okay, it does.

But you know, first, someone with 4 million, you could lose a huge amount of money in a casino. You could you know, you could easily, I don't know what the limits are that they will take. I mean, it's I can't imagine you could just walk into a casino with 4 million pounds and put that down on the table and say, I want to bet you 4 million pounds.

Because maybe, maybe in America, you know, the huge casinos, maybe they could cover that bet. I don't really don't know. But you could easily lose 100 grand.

Probably, yeah, actually, probably over a weekend. I imagine you could lose everything. So even if you had like 10 million, you could probably lose 10 million in a weekend.

Maybe even in an evening, if you really, you know, if they'll take the bets and the gambling, could easily lose everything, I guess. But I don't know if they've got, if the casinos got a duty of care. And that sounds like almost the most ridiculous thing to say.

When casinos are there really just to take your money. And to cater, you know, specifically to people with gambling addictions. That's their bread and butter.

You know, the bonus on top is people that go to casinos for stag nights, or stag parties, or, you know, maybe to get married or, you know, Las Vegas, or just for fun. Or maybe they go there because there's a bigger sporting event on. But it's the big gambling addicts that gives them their money.

That's the ones that they depend on. Because they know they're always going to win. They're always going to come out the winner.

They always do anyway, obviously. Otherwise, they wouldn't be open. I've never known one gambling shop, one bookies, or one casino, never heard of any place like that to close down, because they lost too much.

Might have happened. I don't know. I've never heard of it.

Which shows that gambling isn't really a good idea. However, I understand a little bit why people do it. And I do, especially when it comes to sporting events.

For example, I didn't realize so many people gambled. I thought it was just people drunk during the day. They would just, you know, go to the bookies and, because that's what I used to see bookies often next to a pub or within a very short distance.

So they go to the pub, go to the bookies, go to the off license, whatever. But everything would be within a short distance. They go back to the pub.

If they win, they go back to the pub to celebrate. If they lose, they go back to the pub to just drink anyway. And that's what I used to see when I was younger.

Like, oh, I just assumed that was the only people that were gambling. But I was wrong. So wrong.

You know, it's people that are into sports. It makes it more fun. You know, I'm just saying this is not good.

This is not advice, not advising to go gambling because really, it's, it's kind of pointless, but I can see how, how it improves the experience of the football match or the baseball match, baseball game or the boxing that you're watching. I could see how it possibly improves the experience because you there's that extra energy, there's the extra excitement added. So, you know, your favorite boxer might win.

But if they win and you and you make yourself 20 quid, or you win, you know, $30 or whatever, it just makes it more, you know, see, I've, I don't, I don't gamble. So I don't bother. I have in the past a couple of times.

But it does definitely focus the mind. See, when I was in Ireland, Andre's dad took me to the dogs, which is like a dog racing. He bred dogs, racing hounds or whatever they're called, racehorses, racehorses, race, racing pigs, racing dogs, greyhounds, that's it.

So I was there. And he told me to put bets on for him. Because he was looking after the dogs.

And he said, Okay, so in the end, I put on a bet for myself for Yeah, why not? And I was just choosing dogs by the names. I didn't know anything about the form. I didn't understand really, I understood a bit about form, only because I used to read a lot of Charles Bukowski books.

And he used to talk about gambling and betting and going to the to the racehorses. And I think also the dogs. And he talked about, you know, what to look for and stuff.

So that was pretty much the only education I had, as far as what to look for when you're making a doing a gamble, doing, doing a gamble. Blimey, that's a technical word. And I think I won on one, one of the, I call them little horses, but they were dogs.

And I won like, two pound or something. And then, yeah, and then that was it. And I think I lost the next one.

But it was just it was minimal amount of money. But it was fun. It was fun, really.

I used to have a friend who was a proper degenerate gambler. Proper, you know, it ruined his entire life. But he loved it.

It was his only love. And I think the problem is he won big once. He won, I don't know, 20 grand or something on a horse.

You know, 30 years ago, and he's been chasing ever since. I say since I've not seen him for a long time. But that was his thing.

That was his drug, gambling. It was an addiction. And, you know, but he loved it.

So I used to go into the gambler, the bet shop with him, the betting shop with him sometimes, and I'd put down a couple of bets, because they'd have monitors all around. And you could watch the races. So you could choose one and literally put the bet down and then a couple of minutes later, the race would start as instant gratification or instant grief, depending on what you experienced.

But anyway, I thought about going to a health spa. So if I won the lottery, go to a health spa for a year or six months or something like that. Go away somewhere where I didn't spend my money and spend, you know, the health spa might cost me 50 grand or something like that.

I don't know how much they cost. But I'd be getting healthy, eating healthy, getting physically fitter, mentally, spiritually, probably in a better space. Give myself time to read and just to take some time out.

And then maybe, you know, start to plan what I intend to do with the winnings. So that, and that's something I still maybe would do, you know, in that situation. I could definitely benefit by going to a health spa.

But it might be boring. That's the thing. It might actually be boring.

Not to go to the health spa for a weekend. I'm sure it's lovely. But I don't know if I'd want to.

I don't know if I'd be able to. But I'm sure if you give anyone enough money, they'll make room for you. And stay there for a year.

I could come out, you know, nice and fit and toned, nice and tanned, nice and plucked and, you know, have everything groomed, more body, nice and shiny and clean. I don't know. Or it might be, you know, go on a trip, go, go on a cruise.

Around the world. Or go and live in Thailand for three months or six months. Which is something that I'm kind of looking to maybe do in the future.

I should get a lottery ticket. But they're two pound now. It's too much.

It's too much. They've, they've priced themselves out of me. They're out of my league now.

They're not, they're not within, they can't grasp me anymore. They can't, they can't tempt me with their devilish little smile anymore. When I was a pound, you know, sometimes I'd pass a newsagents where they'd sell the tickets and see the board and say, oh, jackpot this week, 22 million.

It's been a rollover for four weeks, 22 million this week. And I guess I get a semi. And I think, okay, I might, might do that.

But then, then I remember it's two pound a ticket. Two pound a ticket. Double it to 44 million.

I might consider it. I'm not wasting two pound for 22 million. Nope.

It's not a good investment. No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, I'm silly.

Well, that's it. I've wasted enough of your time. I'm going to go now.

So thanks for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself. Lots of love.

Bye. Bye. Bye.