#577 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome, welcome to Jason Newland dot com. My name's Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen, listen when you can safely close your eyes.

I hope you is doing well, hope things are fine. And in these strange times, very, very, very strange times, I hope you're alright. In it, my, my Delilah, my, my, my Delilah.

Erm, yeah, so, yeah, things are, things are, aren't they? Things are, how they are, they are, how they are. Eee, face and, ooh. So, yeah, today is Friday, the 8th of January, two thousand and two, and just want to say a quick thank you to, to Benjamin for your PayPal gift.

Thank you very, very much Benjamin, and very much appreciated. And I'm happy to be useful, I guess, to you and whoever else likes what I do and finds it helpful. Yeah, as far as messages go, erm, do I have any messages? Er, no.

Erm, I haven't got Facebook on here. I need to put Facebook back. I haven't got Facebook.

I tell you one of the reasons I took Facebook off my phone is because my phone's always on, and the Facebook app is always open, so it gives the impression that I'm always here. So, sometimes I get messages or comments and stuff, or messages let's say, it gives the impression that I'm actually not replying to messages, or gives the impression that I'm available to chat when I'm not because I might be in bed or be doing something like making recordings. So that's one of the benefits of not having the Facebook app on my phone.

But, the benefits of having Facebook on my phone is I can look at it whilst I'm making recordings, because the iPad is being used for this recording, and although I have kind of used other things at the same time, I prefer not to test it really. To test it, just in case, you know. Just in case.

So Ben says, Evening Jason, just a quick hello. Here's a little PP gift. Thanks, can't wait to listen again Monday.

What's happening on Monday? What's happening on Monday then? Thank you Ben, but I don't understand what Monday is. Is there something happening on Monday that I'm not aware of? Or do you only listen on Mondays? I don't know. Please help me out, am I missing something? Is there a Monday thing? Oh my goodness.

What's happening on Monday? That's really thrown me off now. Monday, Monday, Monday. Is it? I can't think of anything.

Genuinely, am I? No. Monday. Monday.

What's Monday? Monday is the 11th of January. Not a specific date in my calendar. Not a date that I can think really represents.

I don't know. I'm all confused. Don't take much, but I am all confused.

Been a weird day. Weird day, like quite often they are. I don't remember.

Anyway. So. Wow.

Ali Sherlock's fan club has got 102,000 members. 102,000. Well done Ali.

That's amazing. She's a teenage girl. And.

She's doing all this online. You know, YouTube, Facebook and stuff. Instagram, I guess.

And her and her dad as well. Sort of. And whoever else she's got helping her.

But like, wow. That's really successful. It's going to be a huge star.

In fact, I think she already is a huge star, but. I think she's going to be. Massive.

Like worldwide superstar. With her voice. That's my prediction.

And I'm never wrong. Never wrong. I'd say another person I thought that about was with.

What's her name? JJJ. Like juicy JJ. Jessie J. Before Jessie J released her first song.

Before she was known. She had a YouTube channel and it was. Showed her singing.

I think it was on the underground. Or outside the train tube station or something like that. And just then I knew.

I knew that she was going to be a star because she was amazing. The voice. It's not just the voice.

It's the confidence and the right look. I suppose I don't know what. I don't know what the right look is supposed to be, but.

You got to tick lots of boxes. Don't you? I guess in order to be a successful singer. It's like wow.

I bought the. What's his name Babylon? Take away from me honey. Put your heart of mine.

See it away from me honey. Now. Him that one.

I bought his album when. I think it was number one in the charts. So yeah, probably.

I didn't discover him, but I discovered Jessie J. And I am responsible for discovering. Ali Sherlock. Even though I'm not.

Even though I'm not. I'm going to pretend I am. Oh, come on.

I can get rid of that. I don't want. Is this live broadcast? I don't want it on on my Facebook.

I'm trying to. That's it. Go to it.

And. I'm just seeing if I've got any messages. At all.

OK, we can't see messages on there. That's brilliant. OK.

OK. Jason Newland hypnotist group. Private group.

37 members. I. I don't even know. How to.

All right. OK, well, OK. I read this.

This is from Heidi. OK, I'm not going to say any other names because it's a private group. I don't want to.

OK. But it's nothing personal. It's just she's.

I don't get many people give a commentary on a recording. Sebastian does, but he makes stuff up. Heidi.

So this is posted in the private group. It's around 7 a.m. in the morning. And I will listen to this podcast.

Started it last night when I was in bed. But I had to last so much. It was hilarious.

So I turned it off after 15 minutes and downloaded another podcast. To have a good start in the new day. I will be listening to the rest of it now.

No, I will actually start at the beginning. So, dear members of this group, you are warned. This podcast, or at least to start, can cause not being able to sleep.

Tears in your eyes from laughing. Wet undies and the urge to get up early in the morning to listen again. I wish you all a nice day.

Heidi. That was my... Let Me Bore You To Sleep number 575. Adele's songs scare me.

The 6th of January. Molly says, I agree. I was laughing so much.

Chrissy says, me too. Deb says, me too. Susan says, can't wait to listen to it.

Just love Jason's voice. Oh, brilliant. Thank you.

Thank you. What a lovely thing. I have literally just seen it right now.

Basically, with that one, I just started talking silly stuff. I ended up blimey. There is a video below.

Number 464. 1st of August last year. And I got the biggest, smelliest beard you have ever seen.

Wow. I have never had a beard like that in my life. In fact, it doesn't even look real.

You know, it's that bad. Really bad beard. But I'm thinking.

I am. I'm thinking. Sometimes happens.

I'm thinking of growing a beard again. I haven't had a shave this year yet. So I've got a beard now.

But it's a little one. My hair is starting to grow. And now I'm thinking maybe.

Maybe I'll grow my hair for the whole year. And my beard for the whole year. Because let's face it.

I ain't going to see no one anyway. Yeah, I might do that. Sing with me honey.

Drink my heart from my hands. Wow. So that was cool.

What other notifications? You have a new post to see in Jason Newland's hypnosis group. Oh, it was that. Huh.

So cool. But I don't understand this group. Did I make this group? Or did someone else make this group? I'm not sure.

Group by Jason Newland hypnotist. So it must have been me that did it. So.

You have to be. I don't know if you have to be invited or. I mean, while I was thinking.

I don't know how to do it, but I could make someone. An admin to the group. Admin home.

Members membership. Unavailable. There's got people that have joined.

Admins and moderators. So it's me. Jason Newland hypnotist.

I can moderate this. But I wonder how if I. If I had a person invite. Who could I add? Actually, let me look.

Moderators still members. So if I just go down. To see.

Add. So people I've got. I've got that many people on it, but a few.

So. Okay. I'm thinking.

Making other people. Because it's for me, it's more. It's a private group.

For people that like what I do. So you can. Communicate with each other.

Get to know each other and stuff. So what I was thinking of doing. Is.

Making a few people. Admin. Or would a moderator be a better person? No.

A moderator. What does that mean? Admin and moderator. So basically.

You can add stuff and whatever. So Molly. I'm going to invite Molly as an admin.

But what's the difference in admin and moderator? That's the question. What's the difference? I got story fear. Between.

Between. Admin. And.

Moderator. Facebook. Page.

Okay. The admin is the top manager. And manages all the group settings.

The moderator is in charge of the daily operation. Okay. This may be.

Very often. Managing Facebook group is teamwork. There are two different roles.

Admin and moderator. The admin is a top manager. Manages all the group settings.

The moderator is in charge of the daily operation. Okay. I monitor this group.

So job levels. Job levels. Blimey.

Management. So actually management. Approve or deny member requests.

Okay. Remove admin or moderator. Okay.

So management isn't that so. Approve or deny member requests. Approve or deny post.

Repost posts. Pin or unpin a post. View support inbox.

Okay. Okay. So really it's not an admin I want to do.

Cancel Molly's admin invitation. Confirm. But.

Make Molly a moderator. Of course don't. Don't feel.

I shouldn't really sort of say you're invited. It's like no don't want you. Don't want you.

Don't want you. Want you. Where are you? Where are you? She's not in here anymore.

She's left me. She left me. How? Why? Why would you leave me? Oh.

Maybe this isn't the group I was thinking it was. Where's Boston Chicky? Oh. This might not be the group I think it was.

Thought it was. Pages. Members.

Membership. Your settings. Wow.

How unusual. Your podcast. Wow.

Rachel's post or something. Your podcast still have to be turned up very high to the point I crap myself the next morning when I ask my Echo something but I like the background sound and the podcast is still worth listening to even after it turned out very loud. Could be your hearing.

I'll get fed up with this. I'm trying my best. I'm trying to get them to be louder.

I really am. I've got the microphone pretty much up me bum trying to get it louder. Honestly.

Microphone's closer. I don't know what else to do. It's softly spoken recordings.

You know even when I'm talking I'm talking softly. It's hard to make something that's softly spoken loud. If that makes sense.

I mean. I do. Rachel.

I get what you're saying. I've done the same. With my.

Echo. Have you got an echo? I've got an echo as well. And.

I did. You know I'll be listening to something and then suddenly bang. So loud.

Oh makes me jump. I don't know. I think the worst thing is.

Well not the worst thing. Sometimes. I'll be listening to stuff on my laptop.

With headphones. And I'll forget. You know I'll do it and I'll turn and I'll finish what I'm doing.

Or my iPad rather. Then in a big little night. Every little night I decide.

I might perhaps watch a YouTube video or something. And it blasts out really loudly. Sometimes it's a video and it's not on YouTube.

And the noise it blasts out isn't something I want blasting out. Any time of the day really. And.

As I was trying to turn. Oh I can't get the thing off. I mean the same thing's happened.

On the bus sometimes. Where. The.

The connection between the headphones is lost or maybe I've taken the headphones off. And I managed to press the on button on something. And it starts blaring out and it might.

Once it happened it was me. One of my recordings. Which was a bit.

Weird. What happened the other day was very strange because. I was.

I was doing something and my stomach started rumbling. Like. Like that yeah.

And I thought. That sounds like. That sounds like.

My stomach is talking. So I got my headphones on. Watching something.

So like. I think I was. Searching through so I didn't have anything playing.

So I could hear. A bit of the background sound. I take the headphones off.

And my stomach was talking. Well my stomach wasn't talking it sounded like it was. But a podcast was playing on my phone.

Freaked me out. So yeah I don't like. Loud.

Loud sounds. I don't know what to do Rachie baby. I don't know.

It's like nothing I do seems to. Nothing I do. We're going to be evicted now.

Nothing I do is right. Nothing I do seems to. Why me? Why me? Poor me.

I can't. That's me. It's like.

I try and. I'm doing me best. I really am.

But it's just never. Ever good enough. It's never good enough.

I think. Rachel I thought. You was on.

A group. A Facebook group. Like a private Facebook.

Group of mine. Now. If you're not.

Then. In fact I just say. Are you.

On. Actually right. One of my.

Private Facebook pages. Facebook pages. Because I was Rachel.

I was going to make you a. Moderator. The reason for that is because. I'm just going to add people that have been.

Listening for a long time. So. Molly.

Boston Chicken. And Rachel. And.

I don't have to have lots. I suppose. Don't need too many moderators.

But only if you want to. I mean. Which one.

I want to. Make. You a moderator.

Of. One of. My.

Pages. If you like. So I'm just.

So what I do. I go back to Facebook. It's not.

It's not that at all. It's a completely different. I don't.

I'm confused. Two notifications. I'm confused now.

I don't think it shouldn't be that confusing. New. Blimey.

I don't know. This is particularly boring. Isn't it? Da da da.

Da da da da. Da da da. Da da da da da.

I'm just bombarding. Boston Chicken live. Broadcast with lots of love hearts.

Da da da. I do. But I can't actually talk.

Because I'm doing a live one myself. Well. Not live but.

I could keep going all night. Well. Only with stuff like that.

How strange. I'm confused. I don't get it.

I don't understand it. Jason Newland. Jason and hypnotists.

Jason Newland the hypnotist. And let me bore you to sleep. So I've got three pages.

Plus my main page. Jason Newland. The hypnotist.

So if I go to Jason. Anyway. Let me tell you about the story.

Because. This is. Wow.

Jason Newland. Hypnotists. Okay.

Jason Newland. Hypnotist. That's the.

The private page. Is it? Is it the private page? It's a private page. Oh.

This is. Jason. The hypnotist.

That's the one. Jason Newland. The hypnotist.

Okay. No. Confused.

Confused. In fact. I'm quite bothered anymore.

It's winding me up. So what I did is the other day. This.

Electrical company for the council. On behalf of the council. Contacted me last week.

Saying they wanted to come in. And check. Well they had to come in and check the electrics.

And. I've called him and said no thanks. I'm self isolating.

Now that was before. The lockdown was announced. An electrician still turned up.

On the day. That I cancelled. Had no information about me cancelling.

So I turned him away. He went downstairs and I called him to my neighbor. Told my neighbor.

Because my neighbor said why did you not. Why are you knocking on my door at nine in the morning. When the appointment is until two o'clock.

And the. Electrician said. That's because your neighbor upstairs.

Wouldn't let me in and. Didn't tell us that he cancelled. Which could have caused problems you know.

Could have been a problematic situation. So. That was a bit weird.

Phoned up the council today. First of all. To.

Complain about that situation. I said I wasn't happy with that. That was a potential.

Potential problem. To be fair. It really could have been.

Secondly. Because this company sent me another letter. I said well they're clearly unprofessional people.

And. Secondly. Why are you sending people.

Into. Hundreds. Thousands of different homes.

But not one person to thousands of homes. But you know. You're sending these people into people's homes.

During the lockdown. When we're being told to stay indoors. Yet you're sending people.

That are traveling and going into each houses. Into people's bedrooms. Bathrooms.

Whatever. All the different rooms of the house. Touching lots of different things.

And they're in there for like maybe two hours. That's a spreader isn't it. It's not their fault.

It's their job. But it's. I said can't you wait until after the lockdown.

And the council person said nope. You have to let them in. We have to do this.

The government have. Said that we have to do it. So you've got no choice.

And I want to just always that before or after the lockdown. You know this was that. They said that before the lockdown.

What about now. We really. Because you know.

I've got. If a pizza delivery comes. They put the pizza now on a box.

Leave it in front of the door. And they step way back. And they've got.

The masks on. And of course they're probably. They're going to be visiting.

More homes probably. They've only got on the outs. They're not going into the home.

They're just going into the hallway of a building. Or outside the house. And they're doing more protection than these.

Electricians that are coming in. Inside people's houses. Well I said come.

You know I mean they're. They're visiting and doing. Electrical testing.

Touching. The plugs and. All that stuff.

Bringing in. Whatever they're bringing in on their clothes. You know.

So. If this house was full of the lurgy. They'd be taking lurgy from this.

This house. To the next house. So I think it's you know.

I think it's very irresponsible. Personally. Very irresponsible.

Never been so angry. Never. Let's see if Rachel's replied.

I don't know. I'm confused. Actually I'm kind of bothered.

Unless. Oh if I go back to what I did before. Got it.

Take my glasses off. If I was a sailor. I'm not.

But if I was. Would you tell me. That.

You think. Ungroovy. Even though I'm not.

If I was. Right. Jason Newland.

Hypnotist. Okay. Jason Newland.

Jason. Newland. Hypnotist.

Which isn't a private group. It's not is it? So I was thinking of doing. Okay.

Okay. Jason Newland. Hypnotist.

Page roles. Admin. Add another person to the page roles.

Rachel. Rachel. Friend since December.

Too fat. Moderator. Add.

Problem. Adding. Her as.

Moderator. Why. Oh.

That's weird. So one mutual friend. So if I add.

That's weird. This is problems. Adding people as moderators.

So I think. The message. They get a message.

Probably. I thought it'd be nice to add a couple of people with some moderators. But it became more complicated than I actually wanted it to be.

I did another deep sleep whisper recording earlier. Literally. About two hours ago.

I fell asleep. Proper fell asleep. Well, I just.

And that was a horrible sound. But it just really. Because there's a whisper one.

And I really struggled to do whisper recordings without falling asleep. And I didn't know why. It's just so relaxing and.

So tiring. Well, it's not tiring. Doing them really.

Necessarily. Really. I get really tired.

When I'm doing them. Proper. Tired.

In it. Get me. Other than that.

What did I do today? What did I actually. I had a headache. So I did very little.

I had a headache and. So. It just didn't feel very good.

It's gone now. So that's cool. And I'm just.

Trying to catch up really a little bit. I haven't done a huge amount of stuff on the websites. Still working on that.

Still. Loads to do. I mean.

Proper. Proper. Loads.

To do. But. It's just one of those things.

You know. It's never. It's never going to be finished.

But. I mean. I'm kind of redoing.

What I undid. Which was a little bit. Silly really.

Undoing what I'd already did. Now. Redoing what I undid.

Just. But. It needs to be done.

In order to move. Forward. With.

That. Project. Of mine.

Project. So it should be good. It's.

It's coming together. Another week or so. Before it's.

Kind of. More functional. Oh yeah.

The. So now that the. Council told me.

That I have to let the. Electrician. In.

To check everything. It means. That.

I've had to buy. A vacuum cleaner. Well.

I ordered it from the catalogue. So I'm not buying it. Outright.

It's paid monthly. Until it's paid off. But I've been trying to avoid.

Buying. A vacuum cleaner. Just.

But I need to have one now. So before. I'm not going to let.

I can't have someone. Coming into my home. And seeing it.

Because it's a bit of a mess. At the moment. And that's one of the things.

I don't like. Is having to tidy up. Yeah.

Just. Someone going into my kitchen. And in my bedroom.

My living room. And. As far as checking the plugs.

It doesn't take more than 10 minutes. Maybe 15 minutes. My dad did it when he moved in.

My dad's an electrician. It's just a thing. You plug it into the plug.

That's it. And it tests the socket. And there's.

One. Two. Three.

Four. Five. Six.

Seven. Eight. Eight plugs.

In the living room. Four plugs. In the.

Bedroom. Two plugs. In the living.

In the hallway. And then. One.

Two. Three. Yes.

I think there's. Eight. Nine.

Plugs in the kitchen. Four plugs together. One side.

It's got a fridge. One for the fridge. One for the freezer.

One for the microwave. So there's a spare one. And I've got a plug.

It's four plugs further up. One for the. Unless there's two.

I think there might be four. Like two twos. One is.

There's permanently in there. Is the. What's it? The kettle.

I see the kettle. The kettle. And then.

What other things connected to that? I think that's it. Oh the toaster. Yeah.

Toaster and a kettle. So there is another two as well. So it's four.

Eight. Ten. Because there's.

Unless there's twelve. But I'm pretty sure there's just ten. There's two the other side.

And. One's being used. There's a freezer.

That's permanently in use. And. The one next to it.

There's nothing. So I don't think there's a double plugs. There's only one double plug there.

So yeah it's four. Eight. Nine.

Ten I think. In the kitchen. Four in the bedroom.

So that's fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen.

Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen.

Twenty. This is about. Twenty one.

Twenty two. Twenty two plug sockets. In the.

No. Because there's a hallway isn't there. So what is there? Four.

One. Two. Three.

Four. Five. Six.

Seven. Eight. Nine.

Ten. In the bathroom. Two in the hallway.

So that's twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen.

Fifteen. Sixteen. So there's four in the bedroom.

So sixteen. And then in the living room. So sixteen.

Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen.

Twenty. Twenty one. Twenty two.

Twenty three. Twenty four. So there's twenty four plugs.

Sockets. In the flat. Yeah.

24 yeah it's the boiler turned on there's a boiler connected to the into one of the sockets I don't know it might be technically there's a socket for the yeah there's technically there's a socket for the cooker it's a different kind of socket but the the cook is connected and the washing machine has to be connected to electric somehow don't know how I don't know where the plug is for that so yeah there's about 26 20 to 30 well it's more than five anyway more than five and then there's the light bulbs I don't know

really I don't know what you're gonna do to me baby you're everything I ever wanted baby DBD DBD DBD Jason added Rachel as a moderator for Jason confused so yeah this should get the vacuum cleaner probably when did I order it yes must have been today I maybe had a conversation yesterday which meant I ordered it yesterday which means I'll get it Saturday probably or Sunday I guess Saturday or Sunday looking forward to maybe Monday what's happening Monday there's nothing well actually there is something important happening but not for me it was a close friend

of mine is having medical tests actually on Monday so that's important but it's not something that I'm kind of you know something I'm looking forward to figure out may not one of my to do with me me and it's something that's very important for her well and for me that's for me as well you know being a friend of hers but I can't think of anything that's happening Monday maybe that's the first day of my world tour I have to check my diary maybe just have a look just got to know what do you mean

when you said those things to me all I want to do is pee oh no no no no thank you I don't want to maybe this is a louder recording than yesterday's recording I really should take my Christmas tree down but I'm not superstitious at all no no no no no no no what I do is when I do that I would get when my vacuum cleaner gets here I have a good old-fashioned tidy up make this place look a bit more nicer and tidier and cuddlier yeah cuddly oh get me it's been a weird

day weird day oh get me bear I've had bear food today bear food in it right I think it's probably time that I'm going to leave and I'd like to say thank you for listening to my podcast it's been a wonderful experience I very much enjoyed being part of the team I really have and I very much hope that we can extend our contract for maybe another month I really I really would miss doing these podcasts if I if I wasn't able to do them I'd miss them oh yes so I'd quite like the opportunity

to continue for at least another month I hope that's okay we do it forever and I such a long time I might start getting a little bit more creative with these maybe do something like writing some poems poems maybe singing a song or two song or two yeah song for six days now I've been living with my new visitor and I'll tell you it hasn't been the most pleasant time in my life sometimes all I want to do is go for a long drive ever since who came to visit you guessed it a big big

piles mr.

piles farmer Giles farmer Giles come to visit me bum bum oh mr. mr. farmer Giles it really really stings so I just I don't even know what I'm doing anymore I don't understand why so thank you very much all the best brilliant so take care I'll see you another time another time yes take care of yourself and remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love bye bye bye oh my I never saw that happening never saw that coming I was just surprised oh blimey what to do what to do not everything has to be dramatic I don't know why I'm doing this I've got to go bye