#592 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Now I've got a little ferret running around and he seems to be in need of something. What I'm looking at is a food bowl and that's not it.

So there's something he wants but I don't know what it is. So expect a bit of sound, sound in the background. Only listen when you can safely close your eyes in case I haven't said it all already.

It is Sunday 7th February 2021. Oh yeah. And welcome.

so he's having a drink but he also likes to push his chin under the water when it's really hot he pushed I think he puts his face under there but he likes to so for some when I pick him up sometimes his whole chin is soaking wet he's done it on purpose I know he's gonna have some dry food crunchy crunchy crunchy mcbunchy so this supposed to be snow today according to the weather forecast supposed to be like thick snow really full-on proper yee-haw snow but nothing and it's six o'clock in the morning and there's

nothing out there nothing not a sausage nor any beans or bacon or eggs it's gnout out there and a little bit disappointed slightly I was looking forward to it because I like no I love snow love snow and it's my second favorite thing after boobies snow that's it I love the snow it just made I just feel good when I see it if I see snow I feel I feel nostalgic for the last time I saw snow hmm it's good I like it a lot yeah I remember I was thinking it's something that happened years

ago what I tell you about and I can't remember what it was it was something weird just I in an office I worked at this girl or lady she was in there she had laser treatment on her eyes so she had bandages over her eyes but she still came in to answer the phones so she gives us a headset on and stuff and she answered the phones and then said it was basically receptionist thing please hold and it was a case of just disconnecting you know while they were put into the queue or something like

that so I I thought I got on all right ever so at the first opportunity I crept up behind her and I didn't put my hands over her eyes because I guess they'd be sore from all this jamming and I don't know where eyes were taken out or whatever they do lasered so I didn't touch them but I kind of didn't grab her ears but I put my hand over her ears sounds this sounds worse than it was but it was instead of you know basically guess who that's what I was doing is guess who

so I put on a voice and it's a weirdest response I've ever had ever heard she said to me hello Jason I said how did you know it's me she said the laser treatment has not affected my sense of smell Wow what I put down and we laughed okay she laughed and everyone else in the office laughed and I crept back into my hole so I get a little bit nostalgic sometimes for things that happened in the job or the jobs there was the one thing I mentioned this is a couple of things actually one

of the people that worked in the sales office he was out drunk or whatever with other people that worked in the sales office and for some reason I think they dared him they dared him to write a letter to the boss being rude which he did when I say a letter I think probably a piece of paper from behind the bar of the pub and just posted it through the letterbox you know twelve o'clock at night or something but for some reason he'd forgotten what he'd done but no one else had so he just walked

into work like normal two days later because this was the Friday evening the manager was in Saturday morning he wasn't three days late he wasn't shifted to the Monday morning or Monday afternoon actually I think two o'clock so he he walks in like normal and all his friends I'm doing air the air apostrophes or whatever they are all his good buddies his bestest mates were just staring at the door when he walked in with big smiles and he didn't even get a chance to sit down it's taken into an office and sacked thanks to his

buddies I know he's obviously responsible he's responsible for what he did the part of being friends I think I mean maybe I'm wrong I'm not an expert on friendship the part of being a friend is firstly to to not encourage someone to do something that will lose them their job and well I would say to try and stop someone from doing something to that will lose them a job but they they literally I wouldn't be surprised if they actually wrote the letter out for him so it was a shame because I liked him I got

on really well really well with him another one it's the same company it was Christmas it was Santa thingy what's that Santa thing where you spend five pound says it's Santa's sack Santa's muffle what is it called Santa not Santa's glory hole Santa's something something Santa anyway so everyone spent five pound on a present I think that was the the idea on some levels complete waste of time but on another level it can be fun it's I've never received a present that I think the person actually spent five pound on I'm pretty sure they went

to the pound shop I may be wrong anyway I received a gift and it was a scratch card a fifty thousand pound scratch card from the lottery so I scratched it and I won now at no point did I think it was a fake scratch card I didn't until the person who gave it was sitting next to me kept on and on gone scratch it scratch it and I realized he was giving me way more attention than he normally did and he was definitely getting his kicks he's getting his rocks off watching me do this

so that was something I thought oh there's something a bit odd here so I won the 50 grand but I didn't because it was a fake scratch card ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha see I didn't like him after that I really didn't like him after that I seriously did not like that but I was not happy because for a second there even I don't know even if I'd known it was a fake scratch card to start with the process of seeing fifty thousand pound three times and I've won is something that I've

never seen before it's something and I used to be a bit of a scratch card person for you know when I was younger not now but I used to I used to like me scratch cards every now and then and I really really thought I'd won it for a second until he started laughing I was basically by the time I scratched the last number off he was sitting in my lap honestly he was that excited so yeah you'd think that'd be the end of that story no no no he and someone else got together and

had bought a couple of these scratch cards and someone else had also been given one as a gift in the office now I'd already opened mine I'd scratched it and gone through that process so I'll be honest I did actually become more interested I don't know I became more interested in the other person opening their present and scratching it and I think that's what happened to the person the friend who gave me the scratch card he'd had it done to him and the only way to get over it is to see someone else suffer I

think that seems to be the the the weird weird way of doing it well he did it this one and he picked up on no cues of people laughing or anything around him he genuinely thought that he'd won 50 grand 50,000 pound and as soon as he won it he proceeded to walk out of the job but not without going up to the boss to tell him what he thought of him and he told everybody what he was gonna say now I don't know if it was because they were sober or whatever or they felt

a bit guilty but they let him get as far as the managers desk before physically tackling him pinning him to the ground like it was about a few of them literally they had to pin him to the ground and show him and try explain to him there was a fake card it wasn't real he didn't believe him he didn't even until eventually I don't know there's no exciting end to this story it was just eventually he his brain popped back into non-delusional mode and it's like oh oh I was about to tell my boss what

he can do his job so luckily he didn't it's moments like that that I I kind of miss you don't get that sitting in on your own all day those little interactions the weird things that happened in life there's another one there there was this female though just being around affected me physically I didn't particularly like her as a person I didn't dislike I just didn't you know she's had a bit of an attitude on her and didn't come across as the nicest person but physically I reacted to her as zero that I could do

the only thing I could do is keep away that's the only way and she worked in the office downstairs or upstairs fully upstairs actually in the sales and I was at this point I was working in compliance so I used to have to go to different places sometimes just to get results out and talk to people well this occasion I went up there and I was talking to her I think it might been about a test the results of you know that I was doing marking I marked her calls or something now I was standing

up she was sitting down and I my body reacted naturally to her again there's nothing I could do it's chemistry you know this is not something that can be I guess it can be affected by other can you know with chemistry I guess or cold shower possibly and anyway I didn't realize that she realized that I was being affected by her I don't think I had any effect on her at all I don't I was pretty much invisible to her I think she used to talk to me but she didn't I didn't have a physical

thing I don't think I have you know I had any kind of impact on her physicality but she did me and not as I said it's not that I wanted it it just happened when I was around her it's it's weird but anyway I didn't realize she noticed but she did and about an hour later someone came up to me and said how should I put this Oh Janine I don't know what her name was it probably wasn't Janine she was I think she was Spanish or maybe Italian half half Italian or half Spanish it

was almost like the pheromone didn't you see those the films with the angels not the angels the fairies so the cartoons you see the fairies just floating around just you know flying it was like however pheromones they were just honestly they like surrounding her it was like a like smog and what someone came up to me and said oh Teresa or whatever her name was said that you had a a a stiff upper lip yep a stiff upper lip and I said no I didn't well that's what she said she said she was standing over

looking down her top and you had I said no I actually I wasn't I was standing over her doing doing the thing you need to sit down no I don't need to sit down I remember what I was doing I was I marked her things but she didn't pass so I had to go through it there was no spare rooms to take her into unfortunately and I had to do it at her desk there was no chairs to sit on so and I it's either that or I kneeled down and with my knees that's just

way too much information wasn't it but yeah and that's it that's nothing and then what she said it's not true I thought that was it until I saw the next person then the next person then the next person now I don't know if she'd gone around telling everybody or she told one person and then everybody just spread it around because they were so bored with their own lives mind you I'd have spread it around it's a nice little bit of gossip it really annoyed me at the time because I thought and I thought you know

what I'm gonna confront her I'm gonna confront her and I said to her I got when she was no no one else was around and the first time I got home and she said this is the ladies toilets I said okay and so waiting until she was like in the lobby or whatever I wasn't following around but I just managed to get her I said listen what's this that you've been telling people that I had a stiff upper lip the other day and the or yesterday or whatever then she said you did I had no

argument I had nothing to come back with no I didn't he did I could see it it was head level it was faceless you were standing up I said no it's really embarrassing I mean nothing like that has ever happened in my life well it has but not okay it's no one's ever sort of said anything I mean I was trying to hide it is as I you know luckily I had a pillow with me so I could I didn't I was just honestly there's something really cruel about telling people that or we had that

like no that's not fair plus it made it kind of made me look a little bit well not a little bit bad but really a bit dodgy really as if I was some kind of weirdo and I am I admit but not I'm not weirdo in that way you know I'm not I'm not a pest if you know I mean very strange I mean the only time really that would happen is when I got on buses back when I was in my 20s teens and 20s occasionally in my 30s but not not often but then

I really got on a bus when I was in my 30s see now if that had been now so I so rarely have any kind of feelings like that anyway I probably wouldn't be saying look I've got a stiff upper lip tell everyone I'll be celebrating doing handstands all right I'll be back in 10 minutes run into the bathroom I just you know it's don't happen so much I think it's the Prozac to be fair but not only it's just age you know fifth I'm just I think it's what it is I've got headphones on

I've got headphones on I think what it is is it's like my appetite for eating is quite low because I've got nothing appetizing nothing that looks good I think it's the same way with that stuff with you know having a stiff upper lip there's nothing there is no stimulation really there's only honestly there's a limit to how erotic my punch bag can be it's you know it's just there's nothing sensually stimulating in my life so therefore I mean there are you know ways but Andre's gate came in and his pet gate that I'm gonna put

up to stop him going anywhere near the front door and I got it out it needs a bit of stuff to do before I can put it up but you know what it's gonna be groovy because the bars are too close together for him to get through I think I say that but he might just squeeze through them really easily my hoping because he's so lazy these days he won't even attempt it however blocking him off from a place that he's been able to go to for nearly well far over five years it's not he's

not going to be happy you know a few years ago he'd climb over it and if he couldn't climb over it he would move something to use as a step to then climb over it now he's just he can't be bothered usually he's very lazy usually but he has his moments he really does have his moments where he just he gets back into that insistent frame of mind where he's gonna do it whatever it takes he's gonna get it he's gonna you know if there's a hole he wants to get on getting through that hole

he wants that glory looks like a glory hole it's you know he wants to get through so if there's a there's a gap he's determined to get through if there's a door he wants to open he'll open it right so other things going on is I on the PC I downloaded or I started my free trial with Adobe with their creative thing so with that I get a bunch of software which I can use a Photoshop stuff for audition I think is for the audio in this video soft editing stuff software stuff there's quite a

few video stuff things which you can do to add other things onto them like animation and various things and yeah so there's quite a few things there so it's 49 pound a month I've got seven days free trial and last night I was downloading the software onto the computer something that I can't do on the iPad can't download software onto it to use apps and the apps are never gonna have the same power or the same all the same tools and you know resources whatever you want to call it as the download because a download

it's got more power behind it it's got the computer behind it the app I mean I like this app that I use at the moment for recording now I'm gonna test I need to find out how to use it first but I'm gonna try to because I'm gonna go on my iPad with the Adobe software because they've got three versions they've got the PC version which you can download the software of course it stops working as soon as you stop paying and then there's the apps so there's the web version which I'm guessing means that

you go this it's stuff that you can use on websites you go to the website and do it on on a website and thirdly it's apps for it says for mobile so I'm I'm hoping that that means you know tablets as well as phones how on earth I really don't know how people manage to do stuff on a phone I mean I've managed to edit a video on a phone just about and that was literally just reducing you know taking snipping off a little bit at the beginning and at the end it's too small it's

too small I don't have a pen that I can use with my phone I do have it with the with the iPad and when it comes to editing I use the pen I need to because it's too intricate so if I can use the audio I think it's audition if I can use that app on my iPad and then record see what kind of quality it comes out at because there's actually a podcast if you before you start recording it's actually got a podcast setting which means everything should be at the right level which is

an advantage you know compared to what I've been doing and then when I've done that I can save it share it on a share file share anything whatever comes with the Microsoft Office suite share on there you know save it to there and then open that up on the PC open up again in Audition Adobe Audition and then I can do the editing from there which then allows me more options of things to do if this works I'll be quite pleased because hopefully it will be in the correct format another thing that I've been doing

or excuse me I've been looking and I'm going to be doing them but making some videos that won't actually be me they'll be audio but it'll be a story using video footage from a like a website that I can do that from which would probably cost money as well but there's YouTubers are doing this but I realized that they're using the audio from you know sometimes like famous people talking being motivational and I realized I can use my own voice in fact I can use my own recordings from the past take bits out to make

some videos that will be maybe quite popular so that's something I'm looking at doing another thing is and I've kind of given myself the green light on these you know I've already started the process but it's a little bit overwhelming I guess because of the work that's involved and the learning of new software is it's a yeah it's a learning curve so I might give myself the day off today yesterday I spent all day pretty much watching YouTube videos on the best this and the best that and how to do this and you know or

you know from using the software to the best place to get music for videos and stuff like that and also radio shows and I've wanted to do a radio show for absolute years I think I've come up with a way of doing one well I don't think I know I have and it will be recorded so it won't be live and there's this service was there's more than one but there's one particular one that's I watched quite a few review videos on it how to use it but also you know it looks like one of

the best ones and one thing that I was unable to do which I quite like the idea of doing a radio show with commercial music especially baby 80s 90s music but that's not going to happen because it's too expensive it's a lot of a lot of hoops to jump through and I can't be bothered with it at the moment yeah maybe in the future so the other thing I thought about was how about if I do a relaxation or relaxing radio show so something that you can listen to you know I'll be talking but I'll

also be playing relaxing music so that is what I'm planning to do Jason's relaxing radio show and I reckon do it weekly to start with on I don't know whatever day Friday Saturday Sunday whatever I do a weekly show release it at the same time every week so if I say 9 p.

m. UK time 5 p. m.

New York time you know whatever and it'll be a mixture of me just talking hello hello maybe a summary of the news you know a bit of light light nothing serious well hopefully it's hard to try and get some nice funny news stories and some music and all of the music will be it won't be famous commercial music but it is all done by professional musicians who possibly want wish to be famous and you know so they make money out of it by people like me paying for this service where I can use as many

songs as I want for a certain amount a month a payment a month so I signed up with them as well I get the first I don't know if it's the first week or the first month free I forget now I've looked through there it will only be relaxing music so I'm limited a little bit you know there's something they've got 33,000 songs but out of those 33,000 there may only be 30 that I can use I don't know I will be doing a lot of searching I mean even jazz there's gonna be some might

find some really quite mellow jazz jazz songs I'll just do the research and I'll find stuff and I won't be limited to just that that catalogue of songs also perhaps use Kevin MacLeod because his songs are available to use for podcasts and for YouTube and stuff as long as I mention him and his website and it's other places as well so what I'll do is I'll start off with this setup that I've got in my mind and I'll just just build it so I do I said one it might maybe Sunday afternoon lunchtime will be

a nice one nice mellow and I don't know how long it lasts for it might last for a couple of hours maybe three hours there'll be a weekly thing so be a one-off once a week maybe last for three hours I'll also be able to take to read out messages and things like that for people happy birthday anniversary you know that kind of stuff will just say hi but that would be needed to be sent to me during the week prior to me putting the recording together so as I said it won't be live but

it should be pretty cool because listen to some of the music and I actually really relaxed genuinely I like piano music and I was sitting down listening for about half hour I was just listening to one song after another I just sat there oh this is really nice and I'd like to think that I've I've got my finger on the pulse of what what's relaxing or what can be relaxing so if it relaxes me I imagine it will a good chance it will relax you as well so the idea is the whole thing will be

relaxing just me chatting I guess very similar to this maybe a little bit more focused or it could be a little summary of the week as well I've done and then the music so I don't know how to or at this stage I'm sure how to put it all together I do I've watched a few videos on how to do it but it's a little bit different from actually doing it but I will figure it out between now and yeah I think Sunday lunchtime is a good time so next week Sunday lunchtime so maybe I

need to figure out some ideas and what I'm gonna do but yeah I quite like the idea of it and then I'll list all the songs in the I mean what I might do is have it as a YouTube video as well as a podcast but just really yeah maybe I don't know maybe not but definitely as a podcast yeah that'd be cool and I could share on YouTube I was just thinking a three hour video that's just the chances of being able to upload that is it'd be so such a huge file I could

share it I'll just it's a case of trying things out testing stuff I thought it'd be a nice thing to try and what I'll do is I will perhaps the first one I'll share it on here on this podcast to let me boy to sleep as I'll upload it on here maybe maybe share on a couple of others but yeah there'll only be a couple of others I could probably do that anyway so yeah so I'll do it on here and I know it's this is let me boy to sleep it's not really perhaps the

right place but I don't want to just start a new podcast without having tested to see if people like what I'm doing if I'm doing this and it's it passes the test then maybe I'll start you know start a new podcast for it it's the Jason store bedtime story time that's taken a while but now that seems to be like flying on its own which means I need to start making some more recordings yeah so that's just a few ideas that I have and there is a pot I was sitting down a few hours back

thinking you know what I can't be bothered with it with all this I just all this work all this learning to do new stuff and for what honestly I was like it's proper grumpy so what's the point and you know I get it's weird that sometimes I get a little bit as it downhearted with the statistics a little bit I'll be honest and yesterday I had 5249 which isn't a lot but it's still you know it's a it's a it's an average day I suppose it's a good day and by other days like 3590 on

Thursday and that that's just it's for me that's an awful day a really awful day and then I have to remind myself that if I got that every day of the year it's over a million downloads a year over a million so it's trying to get a perspective perspective you know trying to get a perspective so I think it might be I don't know let me know what you think if you think that if you think that what I said about you know doing this Jason's relaxing radio show if you think it's something that might

be you might be something that you're interested in and please let me know I'd be ever so grateful and that's it that is it pretty much yes it is pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty much now I wonder in the last hour of me chatting has it started to snow because it might done I've heard a little bit of a little bit of air pressure against the windows a little bit of activity out there just a little bit just a little bit just singing just a little bit of activity and if there is I could be

ever so pleased ever so pleased so yeah I think an important thing that I need to try and hold on to is being consistent with what I'm doing so even though I'm looking at new things to do to also be consistent with what I'm already doing the thing is if I'm consistent with what I'm already doing in a way it takes away the time to do other things potentially if I did one recording of my podcasts every day that was it one let me boy to sleep one deep sleep whisper one relaxation for hypnosis for

stress one bedtime story that's without all the other things of that I've got as well to do so that's quite a lot I'm also thinking of doing some recordings that are short or the length of a song there's a music and I might only do that on YouTube because I quite like the idea of having YouTube and my podcasts completely separate with completely different content so podcasts keep on the podcast and the videos stay on YouTube and I'll put them all on my website so people can visit and I share them on Facebook and that

but I think that's what I'm going to do that means that those that watch the YouTube videos can maybe be interested in the podcasts that I do and those that do the podcasts might be interested in the videos that I make and I quite like that idea of keeping them separate not separate as in don't mention anything to anyone no but separate as in different content making some shorter videos with music because YouTube is much more preferred shorter stuff is preferred on YouTube my podcasts they're not short and I don't know how many people listening

to my podcasts would want to listen to a recording that lasted for three minutes maybe all of you maybe every single one please just three minutes of this oh please I beg please make them please make it so I'm going to but it's gonna be on YouTube whether it would be me with my face on there or just some graphics I'm not sure I don't think it'll make too much difference really yes and there's gonna be some other things as well so yeah I've got a lot planned for the coming year and quite a bit

of that it's gonna be on YouTube but I'm gonna use YouTube as a way to promote my podcasts and also I'm kind of excited about the idea of doing a radio show a weekly radio show a weekly relaxing radio show where you can communicate with me I can read out messages and stuff it will be family entertainment or family for everyone I'll be released pretty much Sunday morning or something and you know if you got kids I can say hello to the kids yeah I'll be cool yeah I'm sure even do a happy birthday jingle

this this website's got jingles and stuff so and sound effects so that might be interesting so that's it for me thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love bye