#562 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. I've got a little bit of a, a little bit of a treat.

I've decided to add background sound noises of a ferret. Spending some quality time with a smelly old slipper. So I thought I'd ask Andre because you know he's usually quite shy about stuff like this.

Doesn't like an audience and I said hey baby, baby boy, beautiful little Andre. Would you mind very much if whilst I make a recording perhaps you can make lots of weird sounds behind the settee, behind the sofa and he said okay daddy love you and he went and did it and there he is. I tell you what right I was watching some stuff on YouTube with my headphones on so when I watch television, well in fact I don't watch television during the night.

I will watch because I can't have my headphones watching television but I can use my headphones watching internet stuff you know like Netflix or YouTube or whatever else you know streaming. So after midnight maybe one o'clock you know I don't, unless I'm watching a movie on normal TV and it doesn't finish till one o'clock or something but generally I watch stuff with my headphones on which are noise cancelling headphones so that way I can have the volume up loud, no one can hear it, I'm not disturbing neighbours or anything like that.

Well what I didn't realise is when I was just now I was watching something on YouTube, it was a channel I watch about Thailand, it's just very, I just find it really interesting and I'm kind of, I never thought it but I'm starting to get itchy feet and it's not the athlete's foot this time.

I'm starting to sort of really think or should I change my socks? I was like I kind of want to go travelling and it's weird because I never wanted to do that before but at the same time I don't want to do it on my own, I want to do it with a girlfriend.

It's weird or go out and get a girl, not go out and get a girlfriend but meet someone when I'm out there wherever I am, whatever country, I don't know just it interests me because it's not, especially somewhere like Thailand, it's not expensive to stay out there, to travel, hotels even, it's a lot cheaper than living here so you'd get a really decent, really good hotel for 400 pounds a month when you wouldn't be able to get a room, a crappy old room to live in, in my country for that, well where I live, there surely are other parts of the country where you perhaps could but you know, rent is expensive, it's very much so expensive.

I mean my last room was 85 pound a week before I moved there five years ago so six years, yeah blimey, five and a half years so that's probably, it's got to be 95 a week now, nearly 100.

The room before that was 125 pound a week that I lived in and that did have ensuite so you know that's what I paid extra for otherwise it would have been about 100 if I'd have had one of the rooms but I like the idea of not sharing a bathroom with people, just to have a break from that, it's the closest I could get to having my own flat I suppose but then within about a week the toilet broke and then the shower broke, the shower was leaking, in fact the shower leaked at a very

inopportune time because I met my new girlfriend at the time, I met someone, we were in a shower together, having a shower, it was lovely and we get out of the shower and we were going to have some, spend some time together and as we started spending time together, knock knock knock at the door, what do you want?

Oh the ceiling's flooding in the room below you because there's a lady sleeping in the room below me, oh the ceiling's flooding, I just want to see if it's coming from your shower Great, really bad timing for me, for everyone else it was probably perfect, my girlfriend seemed very happy, almost too happy but come on, so I'll talk about that, that place one day because one of the weirdest places I ever lived due to the people, or one particular person who, complete troublemaker and yeah but I can't, I'll talk about it one day, not in

this recording, anyway I did quite like the idea of going to Thailand, Bangkok and I don't know, there's a few different places and they're in Thailand, the only thing that would worry me is, to be honest the tsunami thing that happened all those years ago, I kind of like to keep away from that stuff but it might sound like a weird sentence isn't it, like I'm trying to avoid the tsunamis, you know especially if I sort of contact a state, not state agents, the travel agents, have you got any places you can recommend that don't

have regular tsunamis?

In the old way, the old days you know, I never heard of tsunami before, it used to be tidal waves, tidal waves, like massive massive waves, that's what they used to be called, when I was younger, anyway I'm thinking of doing that in the future, I think it'd be really cool, of course I can't go anywhere while I've got Andre, I can't take him with me, got no one to look after him, so I would, but if I did go away, I don't want to go away for you know a good six months, you know

get myself a visa and stay away for a while, maybe six months, a year, I don't know, so I wouldn't, it wouldn't just be for a weekend or for a couple of weeks, and that way I'll be able to maybe visit Australia as well, yeah so, but that won't be for I guess quite a long time, because my little boy is here with me, and so I'm going to stay here until he no longer needs me to be here, but unless I can find someone, no things, I couldn't go six months without being with him,

I could go a couple of weeks, although I would never have, I'd miss him, but I'd you know get the person, if I did have someone looking after him, I'd get, I'd do you know, I'd get on the phone and do a video, you know link thing, so that I can see him, and he could hear my voice, and then I could you know, so that I could do that every day, a bit gushy possibly, but still it's more for me than for him really I guess, I don't even know if he'd notice I wasn't

there, I do wonder if I just, if someone else just sat here, if I walked out and a complete stranger just walked in there, and sat down, and I never came back, and it was just you know, that person moved in, you know, we just said so, it's a ferret, but you could live here, I wonder if Andre would even notice it wasn't me, honestly I don't, I'm not sure, maybe he would notice, but he wouldn't care, or he'd notice, but he'd pretend not to be happy, he'd just you know, be dancing around, yeah that

smelly man's gone, yeah, so I was watching that YouTube channel, and I take my headphones off, and think you know what, it's a bit of a weird time in the morning, it's 5.

17 in the morning, but I've got a delivery at 6. 30, a supermarket delivery, because it was a free delivery slot, plus it's, I think it's the only one I could get to be fair, which makes me think, I wonder if there's any way of getting a delivery slot next week, I'm going to go on now and just check, because it's, please wait, home, login, continue, oh what, I changed my passwords on everything the other day, and I was pretty sure someone had hacked into some of my stuff, so I changed my, let's see if I can book a slot, a standard slot, Wednesday, nothing, nothing, nothing at all, Wednesday, nothing, what about Thursday, 24th of December, yeah sure, nothing, I mean I'd do a slot at 11.

30 at night if I had to, and I won't have any money till Wednesday, so there's no, so I've got a delivery today, but that's literally got to last me for all over Christmas, I mean was it Thursday today, Thursday, and then it's, I mean it's only a week, because it's a week till, it'll be Christmas Eve in a week's time I think, let's have a look, it's the 17th, so yeah, next Thursday is the 24th of Christmas, so by then most of my stuff will be eaten, well I guess I could just be careful,

so yeah, it's a weird one, but I might be able to get a delivery the week after, maybe, but that's not so good, because on the Wednesday didn't, I get paid and I've got two weeks, yeah, yeah, if I told you that I love you, would you cover me in cream, anyway, so yeah, I was watching this thing, and I took the headphones off, I thought I'll make a recording, I do let me boy to sleep, haven't done well for a couple of days, although last night I did a sleep hypnosis weekly recording, which I'm

very pleased about, I'm pleased I did it, so that was spectacular, it's just getting myself motivated to do stuff, so I did it, I felt good afterwards, and then I thought I'll make a let me boy to sleep, but by the time, because it takes quite a lot of time to do, by the time I'd edited it and uploaded them, which takes another like hour and a half or so, I was too tired and I wanted to go to bed, beddy-byes, so which is what I did, and then I woke up about ten past four,

it was in the morning, and I thought, yeah, I'll get up, maybe make a recording, there's only a couple of hours before I need to be awake anyway, and so I'm there watching the YouTube, watching the YouTube with my headphones on, I press pause on the video, take my headphones off, and Andre's behind me doing his little slipper dance, and I was like, wow, I didn't hear him at all with the headphones on, didn't hear a single, single peep or screech, nothing, so those, and that was even though I had the headphones on, pressed pause

on the YouTube video, so all I did is have my headphones on without anything going on, I still couldn't hear him, so the headphones, I mean, noise cancelling, they're really good, just having the headphones on cuts out loads of stuff, which is why I bought them to start with last year, whenever it was, and it's really good because I can be on a bus, and I don't hear anything, even without playing music, it just cuts out everything, or in the supermarket, so in the past, I've been in the supermarket, and I've had my headphones on,

I turn the music off when I'm in the queue, because in preparation for, it's a while back, I haven't been in the supermarket for, well, three days ago, but you know, generally, and then I take them off when I'm, you know, getting served, because I don't want to be ignorant and stuff, now Andre's limping again, he's back legs, he's limping, and I'm gonna do, I'm gonna grab him, he's just having a drink, so I'm gonna wait till he finishes drinking, hello baby, hello darling, so I'm just cuddling him now, you're all right, my friend said

that possibly it might be arthritis, or something like that, because he's a middle-aged man now, he is, he's probably in his 30s, late 30s, 40s or something, don't you, maybe even, you're not as old as me though, are you, no, not as old as me, but when I look at him, I just think he's my little baby, and I wonder if that was what my nan was like, with my uncles, and with my dad, like she'd be 95, and she'd look at her, like my uncle was, I don't know, 80, 80, 70, no, maybe like

late 70s, and she'd be looking at them like they're her little children, with walking sticks, I don't know, what do you reckon, or dad's growing a beard, it suits him, it really suits him, I'll actually show you a picture of him, but he doesn't, he wouldn't want that, so I don't, but he looks great, honestly, he's got the perfect face for a big white beard, he looks beautiful, and it might sound like a weird thing to say, but for me, my happy memories of my dad was when, we first moved out of the children's home,

when I was, I was just before I was seven years old, it was that summer, when I was seven, 1977, and Elvis left, and we had a heat wave, and all kinds of stuff, my dad had a big juicy beard, obviously it was black, or brown, dark brown, but he, because my dad's a big, big chap, like, hey, bless my baby, is your daddy a big chap as well?

No, just fat. Okay, thank you. See, my dad was big, but not fat, he was just big, he was, when he was at school, he was like 14 and a half stone, but, you know, muscle, well, this big, strong, strong lad, wasn't he a big, strong lad? Yes, don't you want to stay here with me? Andre, you know, sometimes I'd give up everything, not that I have anything to give up, but if I did have anything to give up, just for you to be a bit more cuddly, and a bit more loving towards me, see, honestly, sometimes I think you don't even like me, unless I've got food in my mouth that you want, I'll give you cuddles, you are the love of my life, do you not realise?

You know what he did the other day?

Something he's never done before, no, not tell me he loves me, something he's never done before, is, my friend knocked on my door, it wasn't late, nine o'clock in the evening, 10, something like that, to go to the garage, did I want to go to the garage with him, and it's something that we do together, we go to the garage, yeah, exciting, isn't it, yeah, so, if he goes to the garage with me, they say I need to go to the garage, it means I can take Andre, because the garage don't allow me to have

Andre go in there, they don't like him in there, and I made such a fuss about it that I decided I couldn't take him, even in a bag, because it wound me up so much, so I can go with him and he can just stand outside with my friend, so if my friend needs to go, quite often he'll just knock and see if I'll go over there with him, or if I want to go over there with him or whatever, and it was just one of those normal situations, I said yeah, why not, I get

up, put my hat on, put my coat on, shoes on, Andre's, I wasn't even going to take Andre with me, and suddenly he appears out of nowhere, trying to get out the door, the front door, so I pick him up, and I don't even have his lead on yet, I'm about to put his lead on, and I'm outside the front, my front door, my friend's standing there with his dog, and I'm just chatting, and I'm just like trying to put Andre's lead on, and my friend said, watch, look at that, wait a minute, look, I

said, what, I looked down, and Andre had pooed, all over my shoes and on the floor, now, he, okay, it's not the first time he's done that, but it's the first time he's done that in that type of situation, and the last time he did it was earlier in the year, and he was downstairs, and he was being made a fuss of by a couple of girls, and my friend's friend, his girlfriend, or whatever, and they were really making a fuss of him, but he wanted to get down, but he was wiggling about, and they

didn't know he wanted to get down, and I wasn't taking any notice, I was talking to my friend, and he pooed and weed all over the floor, and they cleared it all up, which was nice, but it's very rare, he does it if he can't help it, obviously, if you need to go, you need to go, and as far as I'm concerned, there should be no, no judgment to anybody who needs to go to the toilet, you need to go, you need to go, that's it, but he didn't tell me, he didn't, he didn't sort

of, normally he can't, if he's actually in my arms, he will make sounds, he won't just wiggle, like that, because he wants to go to the toilet, or he wants to get down, well, I was just really surprised, and things like that worry me a little bit about him, and there's probably nothing to worry about, he's just decided to poo on me, probably as simple as that, but he's falling over his legs, like he's doing that, he's just, he's, and I can't take him to the vets again, because what happened last time, there's a chance

he might have hurt his leg, but I don't know how, because I've been with him all the time, the only way I can see he might have hurt it, is if he's maybe jumped off the bed, or he's banged into something, but generally, you know, last time a kid kicked him, and I put that down as the reason, although it was a delayed reaction, because he didn't, it didn't seem hurt at all at the time, very angry, but he wasn't hurt, and then a day later he started limping around, and then I went through the

whole, very difficult time that was, so I hope I'm not going through that again, I mean, if it is some kind of recurring thing, then I'm not taking him to the vets, because he's allergic to anaesthetic, it's clearly, he had a really, not anaesthetic, the stuff they give him to slow him down, and to calm him down, sedative, a sedative, he's allergic, or yeah, let's say he had a really, really, really bad ab reaction to the sedative that the vet gave him, which meant instead of two hours later, being back to normal, 12 hours later,

he still wasn't back to normal, it took a whole day, I don't know if you can hear that, he's dragging his leg, he's dragging his leg behind him, I don't know what to do, and it's not the first time, he's dragged his leg before, you know, in other periods of, sometimes it's almost seemed like it's laziness, or I suppose he could have something in his foot, so I could have a little look, or he might have cut his foot, or he might have bitten his, you know, I mean, who knows, he might have been biting

his foot, and caused it to, who knows, I don't know, I mean, he's out when he goes walking, he might stand on something, I don't mean landmines, but you know, he might just, I don't know, I just, I hope he's all right, anyway, that was the point I was saying, is I could hear him with the slipper, oh yeah, my dad, he's got his big bushy beard, and it's now white, proper white, it's not grey, it's white, it's, he's got white hair, and white, but it's not grey, it's really weird, there's a difference, but obviously

it's grey, but it's not, if you know what I mean, it's, it's pure white like snow, my dad's hair, and his beard is exactly the same, pure white like snow, like, literally like snow, you could bury him in snow, he wouldn't be very happy, and it's probably a criminal act, but you know, he'd, well, that's not really a good example, but if you put him near snow, that's what I'm saying, if he was near snow, you could see that he looks, it's the same colour, or it's just white, because snow's white, it's white, he looks

Christmassy, it's like a Christmas card, but without every other aspect of the card, you know, like a robin, or a reindeer, or a snowman, or whatever things are on Christmas cards, listen to him in a hallway, the thing about him is, with Andre, this is, it's not my dad in a hallway, crawling through the, Andre's tube, he wouldn't fit, what the heck's he doing, oh, so he's scratching against the door in the, in the kitchen, so I'd like to vacuum the floor, but I can't, because the vacuum broke, so now he's, I've got these little

areas, where he has this cat litter, sort of put down, to try and, and it worked, to get him to go to a toilet in specific areas, and it really worked, but unfortunately, it spreads, the, the cat litter spreads, and I haven't got a vacuum cleaner, so it's, it's become very Christmassy in here, it's almost look like little bits of snow everywhere, it's lovely, everything's nice, yeah, yeah, it's really good, it's really prolific, I can't, he's still, the thing is, although he's dragging his back leg, it's not stopping him from anything else, doesn't affect his

appetite, doesn't affect his, when I say appetite, I'm not just talking about for food, because he's gone back for seconds with a slipper, so he's got, it's not affecting him mentally, which is kind of the best, that's the most important thing, is, it's like, yeah, it's like whatever physical issues any of us have, the worst part is, you know, if it doesn't, if it doesn't affect us emotionally, then it's almost as if, we don't have the issue, in a way, it's the emotional reaction that causes the suffering, isn't it, with physical issues, because, you know,

I mean, for example, my lower back, I could end up, you know, having to use a walking stick, or a wheelchair, but if it doesn't bother me, if I don't care, if it's like, I'm not bothered, I'll use a wheelchair, if I have no emotional reaction to that, although I probably would, pretty certain I would, but I could work around it, I, it's almost as if the physical pain would reduce so much, what are you talking about, physical pain, what are you talking about, I know me stuff, don't worry, what are you talking about, see,

I plan for the future, I've got plans, so if I, if I ever get one of those, first of all, if I got a wheelchair, I'd be banging into people, that's one of my plans, is to bang into people, and I would, if I got one of those motorized cars, you know, buggy things, I would, well, first of all, if I was, if I was in a wheelchair, I would travel on the pavement, and any cars that were parked on the pavement would get scratched to bits by my wheelchair, and if I couldn't get past,

I would call the police, I would do, honestly, I'd be, I'd be the worst, but I'm planning for that, I would really cause a fuss, so if someone's parked on the pavement and I couldn't get past, if I had to, you know, scrape by, I would, I'd scrape by and knock their wind mirror off, and really damage their car, I would do, if I'd set my, you know, like the James Bond cars, and you know, out of the wheels come the like spinning blades and stuff, that's what I'd have on my wheelchair, just take half

the car off, I probably wouldn't go as far as missiles, but yeah, well, not, probably my own personal missiles, possibly, pick up a bit of dog poo on the way, and whenever a car was on the pavement, no, that's wrong, that's rude, so I'm kind of planning to be really vindictive and hateful, when I get older, it's, it's almost like it's something I'm looking forward to, you can only, you can only really get away with it when you're old or disabled, you can get away with doing stuff like that, I couldn't get away with it

now, if I was started shouting and stuff, I'd just, I'd get in trouble, if I was in a wheelchair, I would get away with a lot more, and I will, I won't, if the car's on, if I see a car on the pavement, I want it, I don't, but I just, I get so angry, I get annoyed, because, not for me, because I just think of people in wheelchairs, or people on, like my Nan, who was disabled, but she still, for most of her, apart from the very late part of her life, when she was

blind, and couldn't really move or do anything, before that, she still made the effort of getting out, so even after she broke a hip the first time, she still had a little buggy, and she would, I think she had walking sticks as well with it, and she still went to the post office, and to the shops and stuff, now if there's a car on the pavement, my Nan, what would she do?

She'd have to walk in the road, perhaps, depending on the situation, and with her lack of vision, it's not a very good, it's just not, I think about people that I don't even, not even met, you know, if I see someone driving really fast, near a school, I think about the kids, and I get, I get annoyed, because, what about the kids, if a kid comes out and goes in the road, if I see someone parking on the pavement, I think about people in wheelchairs, people that are disabled, or maybe women, or men, with push

prams, push prams, you know, children in prams and stuff, push chairs, that's kind of what I think, and I thought, why should someone with a child in a pram, have to go into the road?

It's not fair, so, that's why sometimes I wish that I had superpowers, like Superman, but I wouldn't help people, I'd just crush cars, and if I see someone speeding, I'd just blow the shit out of them, and I think that's really useful, but, I saw something today, it was a movie, and it was called something, it was Denzel Washington, right, and I didn't see all of it, I didn't see, because, the reason I had to stop watching it, because it was so ridiculous, okay, basically, it was, they were trying to stop a murder from happening,

or trying to catch someone that murdered, we're trying to, you know, basically, and it was some kind of time traveling thing, right, so, in time, he could chase the person, by looking at, through these goggle things, like a space age thing, which showed him where the person was, three days earlier, yeah, it's a weird, it's a bit of a mind bubble, a mind fart kind of situation, so, he's, the aim of it though, is to try, I think, and save the lady, for being killed, so, he's driving, with one eye looking through this screen, chasing

this vehicle, which isn't even there, but was there three days earlier, or three nights earlier, and his other eye is supposed to be being used for driving, in the here and now, so, he ends up driving the wrong way down a street, a one-way street, the wrong way, chasing some other car, that's on the other side of the motorway, driving down the right way, you know, three days earlier, it's confusing, but, in the process, he's causing accident, after accident, after accident, car crashes, cars smashing into each other, doing somersaults, and all that stuff, yeah, so,

I'm looking at that, and I'm thinking, just in probably 10 minutes, there would have been, the amount of damage, fatalities, serious injuries, that were caused, just in order to save one person, who'd been killed three days earlier, what about all the people now, because, you know, these are car crashes, that, you don't, you'd be lucky to walk away from, you know, really, it's Hollywood, Hollywood crashes, where the cars flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, and you know, all that stuff, multiple pile-ups, and I'm like, I can't watch this, is it ridiculous, it's true, it's ridiculous,

I know a thing, I know it's weird, but you know the Lion King, I watched the new version of the Lion King, the beginning, never watched the original film, for some reason, I know the songs, was it Al and John, didn't they do the songs for that, can you see my love tonight, and I just, I watched this movie, the beginning, and it's, you know, it's supposed to be brilliant, and the cinematography, the animation, is just, you know, second to none, and right at the beginning, it's got a, you know, the lion, has just had

a baby, and all these animals, they're just all praising, and sort of saying well done, and you know, showing their, their support, and their love, and their offerings, like little monkeys, and and I started thinking, this is unrealistic, why would animals that are prey, that are the lion's prey, why would they be rejoicing that, that lion that would try, want to eat them at some point, has created another lion, that's going to want to eat them, didn't make any sense, so I had to turn it off, and some would say it's a cartoon, and I'd

agree, but some things are just ridiculous, another example would be the Fantastic Four movie, the first one, where they're on a bridge, and what was it banging, it's not banging, someone's banging a window, I'm hardly talking loudly, am I, so I can't be disturbing anyone, God, it's that neighbor upstairs, whispering again, how am I supposed to get any sleep, if he keeps whispering, oh, they don't know how to close a door, they slam the door when they leave, you turn the handle, turn the handle, it's not that complicated, perhaps we need to be taught in

school, the handle turning course, how to close a door, how to be considerate, how to queue for a bus, how to queue generally, that amazes me, sort of, I'll be waiting at the bus stop with my friend, sometimes like 10, 15 minutes, waiting for a bus, some young lad will come along, and stand, you know, he'll stand there as well, two minutes later the bus turns up, who goes to get on first, the young lad, now, the amount of times in the past I've said, oh, excuse me, I feel like, I sound like an elephant

downstairs, it's an elephant, what time is it, is it six o'clock, blimey, it is six o'clock, so my delivery will be here soon, 6.

30 in the morning, it's ridiculous, isn't it, but the good thing about it, wait a minute, there isn't a good, there is nothing, the good thing about it is, I'll be able to have some breakfast, because I ran out of breakfast cereal, so I can have some nice coffee, I'm hoping the delivery doesn't get here till half seven, that's what I'm hoping, or just before, because there's an hour slot, an hour slit, where you can, um, you know, you'd be usually, I did get a delivery at 6. 30 in the morning, it was here, I think it's 6.

30, which is okay, yeah, that's all right, but I haven't got much stuff, it still came to about £120, but I don't have much there really, I mean, it doesn't even make sense, how can I spend £120 and have hardly anything there, it adds up, doesn't it, stuff adds up, and I had to, yeah, I needed to get some water, because I'm running out of water, so I've got some packs, a couple of packs of water coming, so that's 12 bowls, so that'll keep me going for another week or so, big bowls, and milk, breakfast

cereal, even the coffee was nearly £5, just for a, because normally I get a coffee when it's on special offer, so when it's on special offer, I'll buy it, and I'll buy like two or three, because half price, and I thought yeah, I'll get that, unfortunately it was on special offer today, so I'd say half price, normally like not £2.

50, or something, that's about half price, isn't it, so it's £4.

85, or it's like wow, but because I'm not greedy, or this, you can say greedy, or very generous to myself, very generous to myself, that's another word for greed, isn't it, and I don't feel the need to just use everything, see I've got a friend that couldn't make, my jar of coffee, he couldn't make that last for more than about four days, I can make it last a couple of weeks, I don't put, I don't put heaped spoonfuls of coffee into the cup, which means I don't have to use lots of milk to make it,

so it's not so bitter, or have seven sugars to make it not, it's like just have normal, it's really hard, you know, if you, you're trying to help someone, and they're greedy, like not greedy bad, but just, okay, very generous to themselves, like I say, okay, well, I've got eight sausages left, so I'll give you four sausages, and I'll keep four for myself, no, four sausages isn't enough, I need at least seven, or six, it doesn't work that way, it's like, if you're hungry, and you've got no food, and I'm giving you some food, then

you eat the amount that I give you, you don't demand, and say, nope, I need more than that, it's like, really?

I've known people to do that, it's like, I appreciate, you know, you ask for what you need, but, that's just greed, well, my stomach's making some weird echoey noises, noises, noises, noises, noises, so, yeah, I'm just, trying to think of the future, what's going to happen in the future, so we've got to get Christmas over and done with, um, it's an expensive time of year, just, that's just the way it is, there's no way around that, is there, unfortunately, it's I'm always glad when it's over see I like Christmas I do I like Christmas I

like the build-up to it because it's nice and generally I don't really go out at the moment but I'd I'd be out more often this year I've hardly been out but I would be out more I don't go out a lot used to when I lived in town I used to go out every day sometimes sometimes didn't go out for weeks but it was it was close so I could just go out go to the park or whatever go and get some food but at Christmas there's more I know it's it's a it can be

quite a stressful time because it's so busy and it's you know it's it's it's hard work for people at work in retail because of how busy it is but it's also kind of a nice vibe yeah I got Christmas music playing in the street and you got the Christmas lights and the smells of maybe Christmasy food or chestnuts roasting on a open fire and so I've not been into town I got a receipt from saying okay let's have a look we're sorry but we had to substitute the items below so I had a John West

no drain fridge pot tuna steak with a little spring water times by three they've done it but this is John West no drain fridge pot tuna steak with a little olive oil I don't mind a bit of olive oil it's good for you in it so that's that's fine if the price is more expensive in fact it's cheaper I think than the one I ordered oh absolutely ridiculous the what was not the one thing I needed but I needed ten I bought some cards from the supermarket so that I could send them so I've sent

out all the family cards earlier last week sent out all the family cards presents and stuff only two one one from a dad one for my stepmom and the rest was cards I sent out to everyone I did it all online so it's fairly expensive but it's done and then I've got some other people that I needed to send cards to put about six people seven people outside of family but the card I ordered a 10-pack slim cards with dogs on them like Christmas Christmas cards Christmas dogs couldn't even substitute them damn you and you

know what they do here yeah they don't oh okay there is an e-receipt so don't give a paper receipt anymore so you can't even check the items anymore they send an e-receipt so I was supposed to get the delivery and look at my phone at the same time as I don't give you bags anymore no carrier bags so it's delivered in these brown basket thing plastic baskets that stack on top of each other which is kind of standard really they're not always brown but you know it depends which supermarket you're with and so I have

to take the stuff out and put them into carrier bags out the door and while the person just stands there watching and I do I feel a bit pressured to be fair to hurry up and with my back the army I'm trying to I'm doing weights I'm trying to exercise stretch it and you know I'm doing weights every day now so I'm trying to it's not just my lower back I'm working I'm trying to get myself a bit more fitter and to be fair if I had a slimmer waist I wouldn't look so fat so

it's the bending over that does my back in a bit so it's constantly bending over and picking up stuff putting into a carrier bag is kind of ridiculous a little bit chilly and I said look I just if you deliver them in carrier bags and then the next week you take the carrier bags back of course they can't do that can they because just for I suppose lots of different reasons hygiene and stuff and I used to pay extra for the carrier bags and I used to carry bags I mean there was a time when

everything was delivered in carrier bags there you go there you go I suppose this there's a nice 17 year old little girl that's very happy that I'm not using carrier bags so that's good only she's happy Norris Boris whatever her name is long as she's happy little angry little face I don't see anyone so angry what is their name no little the government of the world are not listening to me why are you not listening to me and my angry face and my angry voice just because I'm nine years old why won't you listen to

me so that's the thing I you know there's all these different things changes that are well-meaning really well-meaning you know for very very good reasons to make these changes but what's not thought about is the human cost to especially people that are disabled to suddenly have to just making their life harder elderly people making their life harder type putting everything separately in the basket so they can't I'm going on about it but it's it's annoying it's a bit like with my name right a few years I don't know how many years but there is all

her retired life she would go to the post office on a Tuesday morning or whatever day it was queue up chat to all her friends that she'd see every week and she collect her pension from the post office with a pension book and then the government in their wisdom decided let's just put the pension into people's bank accounts which is what they did which meant that for a lot of people that only human contact possibly for the week maybe going and queuing outside the post office in an hour early so that they could spend time

with those other people also queuing to collect their pensions that was taken away now the ironic thing about it is people still queued outside the post office on a Tuesday morning and even though the money was already there they didn't have to queue to collect it it was in their bank they went to the cash machine or they got the money out of the bank because some of them perhaps had the money put into the post office account and they still queued but the queues dwindled got smaller and less and less people went and eventually

stopped because they didn't need to they could just go across the road or they could I guess have their carers or the children or grandchildren get the money and do stuff so that this I think things like that are not thought through for the emotional benefit of those concerned I think we'll save a bit of money here and some young person thinking it through probably thinks well that'll save the old people having to go out in all weathers and queue up to get their pension when actually the queuing up and getting a pension was something

that they look forward to even if they moaned about it probably stand out there going it's bloody cold it's bloody cold can't believe we have to do this every week but the fact is they wanted to do it every week possibly anyway I better go and get ready for this delivery that could be here any minute so thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love