#556 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to Jason Newland Newland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. I seem to have a bit of a cold.

I just did the loudest sneezes. In history. So I haven't made one of these Let Me Bore You To Sleep recordings for a couple of days, I think.

Let me have a look. Let me see. The last one was the 30th of November and it's the 3rd of December.

Yeah, just a mixture of things. Got some stuff happening. A family crisis or whatever family thing, which my dad doesn't want me to talk about online, so I'm not going to.

But yeah, I've felt wonderful the last couple of days. I felt a bit lazy as well, a bit lazy. Because I have the time to make recordings, but I don't always have the, I have the technology as well, but I don't always have the the get up and go, the let's get busy with the fizzy.

I don't always have that, you know. Do the shaking back, put the freshness back kind of feeling. But today, don't ask me why, but today I have already made two recordings.

Two recordings. Both long recordings for the relaxation, hypnosis for stress and anxiety podcast. And yeah, I don't know why.

I just sometimes I get a little bit. I don't know what the right word is. Keen, keen.

I get very keen on making a recording about a specific topic or issue. As opposed to just doing the relaxation and sleep recordings. Sometimes I kind of want to talk about something or hope that what I am recording will be useful to some people.

And that's kind of the hope. So, yes, I've done a couple of recordings and now I'm doing this one. I'm doing this one, obviously.

And I'm just wondering, I think the weather's changed, got really cold. But really, and now it's been raining all day. It's damp and cold and I feel like an old man.

I just, you know, I've turned the heating on. The heating should be on, but for some reason, the thermostat, Bob, I call him. He didn't seem as if I was worthy to have heat today, as if it wasn't cold enough.

But just turned it on, so I should start to feel a bit of warmth. I mean, I'm not cold, you know, but I'm feeling the need of a little bit of warmth, you know, a little bit of, yeah, coziness. So here's a weird thing.

Well, not weird, but something that I was surprised at. I got a message from Molly. Hi, Molly.

Hi, Molly. And it was a couple of pictures, couple, couple, couple of pictures, images. I didn't really understand them.

So for one, it was Jason Newland, free hypnosis. You threw your own Jason Newland free hypnosis service marathon, listening to 10 episodes in one day. Blimey.

Admittedly, not all of the recordings are long. So, but 10. And perhaps I shouldn't read this out.

I've just realized that statistics that you might not want other people to know, so I won't. But it's basically listed how many episodes you've listened to, and how many hours or how many minutes it is. And I thought, okay, because it was a different image.

It was, you know, and I thought, I don't understand this. And then I got another message from somebody else. Where is it? I don't know where that message was from.

I got a message, I got a message from Julia. Again, another, another one saying, you've listened to 186 episodes. So that's for the year.

So they've given, basically, I didn't understand it. And Julia said, love your podcast. Thank you for all that you do.

Wow, brilliant. Thank you. But I'm confused.

I'll admit it. I'm confused. I didn't know what it was.

I understood what it was, but didn't know what it was. I could see that it's, it's an email, it's something sent to people, saying how many listens you've had, and how many times you listened, but I didn't know where it was from. So I asked Molly.

And Molly said, Spotify, do a yearly roundup type thing. Ah, I didn't know that. I did not know that.

So I said, cool. And I said, you've listened to me a lot. Wow, you know, much, you know, too much about me.

Haha. Thanks for listening. So I'm thinking, yeah.

Yeah. So that's kind of where I'm with that. I thought, still, that's interesting.

I'm surprised that Spotify haven't contacted me. You know, how come they've contacted other people, but, but not me. So I was a little bit like, ah, didn't understand it.

And then I had an email. Now this is from yesterday, didn't realise, because it's Thursday today. Yesterday was Wednesday.

And Spotify for podcasters. Wednesday, it's here, your 2020 wrap up or whatever. Ready to discover the biggest stories of the year.

They're waiting right now in your 2020 wrapped for podcasters. Log into your account to see your standout moments and share them with your fans. Spotify.

Spotify is like, oh, okay, cool. So I log in. And according to this, oh, oh, wow.

So that's the podcast. Wow, it's given me very specific details, statistics that I'd never had before. That's interesting.

So the Deep Sleep Whisper, okay. There's been 30. I had 15,537 listeners on that podcast.

475 followers, it's not a lot, but so wow. And they go on about starts, so people start and those that stream all the way through. So if I go to podcast, I'm interested.

Oh, so the only podcast is showing. Oh, no. Okay.

I want to see what other podcasts I've got. Get your wrapped. One podcast, I've only got one podcast.

That's strange. Anyway, so it says, it's only doing the Deep Sleep Whisper one. It's not doing any of the others.

So according to this, for the last year, oh, wait a minute. Now this is all time 52,000 for 16, 16,000 listeners to that podcast. Deep Sleep Whisper.

Now, I don't know why it's not showing any other podcasts. Because I'm on Spotify with lots of podcasts. How strange.

Spotify stats for podcasters. Wrapped for podcasters, Spotify for podcasters. Explore wrapped.

Okay. It's only given me that one. Add claiming podcast.

Get started. Get started. I know I'm on more than one.

Why am I not listed more? I don't get that. Honestly, I'm confused. Because according to Spotify, all you got is a Deep Sleep Whisper one.

Now I know for a simple fact that I'm on there more than that, because if I just click in, the first thing that comes up is let me bore you to sleep. All episodes, all 500, 500 million. Wow, 555.

So this is number 556. Stats account. What is premium? So it looks like I'm going to have to make some changes.

Local files. I'm bored with that now. So put that down, have a drink.

So Spotify is my second top podcast provider. To listeners, iTunes or Apple podcasts is the number one one. The number one one.

Number one, one, one, one. And Spotify is. It's number two, but it's a lot less than iTunes.

But it's still, you know, still pretty cool. I mean, according to my statistics. Yep.

I'll just come out of there, go into statistics. If I told you that you were groovy. So where is it? Downloads.

Sources. That's it. 52.91% comes from Apple.

That's the listeners. 52.91% of my listeners listen on Apple. 28.26% listen on Spotify.

3.74% listen on Stitcher. Castbox is 2.77%. Amazon Music 1.23%. Google Podcast 1.17%. It's a little bit disappointing. I'd like it to be higher.

Overcast 1.11%. Podcast Addict 0.84%. TuneIn Radio 0.83%. Spreaker, which is the host 0.73%. Generic Android App 0.72%. iTunes. So Apple Podcast is the one now, but iTunes, for some reason, is separate. 0.64%. G Podder 0.64%. Podbean 0.48%. Player FM 0.44%. GeoSouthern 0.42%. Deezer 0.22%. Stitcher Demo 0.21%. Lavv 0.20%. Chrome 0.18%. And the rest is 2.26%. Wow.

So Apple Podcast and Spotify, between them, make up 50, 60, 70, 80, over 80% of my listeners. It's quite a lot, isn't it? And you think just the last three days, yesterday, 2,802 Apple Podcasts, 1,786 Spotify. And today, it's two o'clock in the afternoon.

So far, 1,225 Apple Podcasts, 1,014 Spotify. So far, 1,225 Apple Podcasts, 1,014 Spotify. And Stitcher seems to be the third as well.

So, wow. Perhaps there's some work for me to do online regarding a bit of promotion, maybe. It's almost like I'm unknown to some of the other podcasts.

Although I do get thousands and thousands of downloads on the other podcasts throughout the year. It's, I suppose, tiny compared to Apple Podcasts. I thought Google Podcasts would be really good, being Google, being the biggest search engine in the world on the internet.

I mean, the two biggest search engines, Google and YouTube, are the two biggest search engines, because YouTube, people search for stuff on there. And Google owns both of those. So I thought Google would be perfect for Apple.

But then I suppose they own videos, don't they? Owning YouTube means they own most of the videos on the internet, or own they post. I'm not quite sure how much of the content they actually own, but possibly more than people realise. So, oh, tired.

I'm tired, man. I'm really, really tired. But then I've made three recordings now, this is the third one.

So I deserve to feel tired. I've done something, which is good. Good to have done something.

Just something. Anything but something has been accomplished. I was gonna, well, I might still do it.

I was thinking of releasing the other one tomorrow. But I don't think I will, I'll just release it today. I like to release recordings when I've just made them, rather than hold them back and release them the next day, even though that's probably, possibly a better way to do it.

So if I make 10 recordings, I'll just release them all the same day. Instead of spreading them out over 10 days, which would be the practical thing to do. Possibly.

I'm not sure, but possibly. So yesterday, it was cold. The day before, it was cold.

Parts of Scotland have had snow. Seriously? Like Edinburgh, got snow. Oh, wow.

I mean, it's cold enough for snow. But at the moment, I think it's raining out there. But again, you know, who knows? I don't mind a bit of snow.

Andre, for some very strange reason, is loving the cold weather. Every time I go to the front door, he's there, waiting to come out of me. And unlike last week, when it was chilly, but not as cold as this, he was shivering.

Now, he's not shivering at all when he gets out there. And it's colder. Weird, very strange behaviour.

He loves it out there. And it worries me a little bit because Andre's uncle wanted to be outside in the cold in his last month or so. And he had to put him in the garden because he wouldn't stay, he refused to stay in the house.

He was scratching at the door all the time to get out. So he went out in the garden, he passed away after about a month. Perhaps should have fed him.

But you know, so I've got, I don't, I'm not doing that with him. He ain't going anywhere. He's staying with me the whole time.

So I'm trying to take him out when he wants to go. Yesterday, I think I took him out twice. The day before, I think I took him out three times.

And he walks me around. He just, I let him, I just follow him. And he just goes wandering.

If he could, he'd be in other people's gardens. He just wants to just, it's almost like he's, he's got a new life to him. He just wants to explore.

So I just follow him, let him lead me wherever he goes. I ended up in some car park the other day. But he's happy.

He just really seems happy doing it. Just sniffing around and no shivering, nothing. So yeah, I don't really understand what's going on with him.

I can see how maybe at times, he gets a little bit too hot inside here with the heating on. And I get a little bit too hot sometimes. But from that same angle, I thought, well, the light, I do open the windows to let the air in.

And if it gets too hot, I do turn the heating down. Or I take my coat off. And my hat.

And my gloves. My thermal socks. And the tin foil that was underneath my hat.

So yeah, I do, you know, I do what's necessary. But maybe he doesn't notice the cooling of the room with the window open because he's so low down. He doesn't get to appreciate the breeze that is entering the room.

Because he's so low down, he doesn't get to experience it the way that I used to when I was younger. And then learn to experience it for myself in my own right. Experience what you may say.

I can't remember because I've not been listening to what I'm saying. I'm practically asleep. I'm just talking anyway.

You mean you don't know what you were talking about? That is correct. Well, how can you function if you do stuff like that? That is correct. You're not listening to me, are you? You're just repeating.

That is correct. This is really annoying now. I've had enough.

It's just, no, I don't want to do it. You can't say it. Say that is correct.

That is correct. You asked me to say this. So I said it.

You are correct in your assumption that I will keep on saying this until I am physically stopped. much at all. And I didn't I didn't I didn't really get down and jiggy with it.

I can't remember really. Although yesterday, yesterday, I was still in bed at half past five in the afternoon. Proper real sleepy.

Sleepy. It was quite pleasant in some ways, but not in others. I guess it all depends on your level of enjoyment of said process.

Yeah, I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm just rambling. I'm a rambling guy.

Oh, that makes me mad. I can't believe it. Well, excuse me.Me. So yeah, it's Thursday today, Friday tomorrow. So I'm hopefully going to get a food delivery.

And I've booked three different slots on the food delivery with the hope that I can get myself everything I need. Now I need to I need more Andre food. So I need to get more of that.

I've got enough to Christmas, probably enough to the new year. But then I need to get some more for January. And I'm not sure what other stuff I need.

Um, it's gonna be something. It's always something. I don't know.

What do I need? Really need? I don't know. Um, so get the food for Andre. Only food really.

Yeah, just a bit of food. I suppose. I don't know why I'm doing that.

Don't ask. Blimey. I'm so tired.

I think I suppose to him doing two recordings back to back is it's not always a good idea. Especially one one last nearly 50 minutes to one I just did. So I've actually given myself a little break.

However, I wanted to get this done before the school kids are released because they make quite a bit of sound. Screaming sound, for some reason. Don't know why they can't just behave themselves.

I wonder what do they get taught? So they get to it. They get taught social skills. And I don't feel I met one person, a school leaving age that knows how to queue for a bus.

You know, I'll be waiting there for all me and my friend who waiting for 20 minutes for a bus. Two minutes before the bus gets here. Some young person will turn up, bus pulls up and they get on the bus first.

Even though I'll be putting my hand up to stop the bus as well. So I know that I'm waiting for that bus. Yet they think they can just go on first.

Oh, they're wrong. I tell you, we were the weirdest things ever happened is I was traveling to see my nan when she was in hospital. And I'm getting a bus from the train station, hopefully to where the hospital is.

Although she wasn't in that hospital. Because I wasn't giving the correct information. You know, so my dad said, Oh, your nan's in hospital.

I said, Okay, and I left. I went to the toilet and I came back and I said to my manager, go go see my nan. Sorry.

I'm going. So I left. And I went back the next day.

So I still had a job. But I said I wasn't. So I'm not asking you.

I'm telling you I'm leaving. So I went to the hospital. She wasn't even in there.

So information was not disclosed to me. Like what hospital she was at. So they had to make the phone calls find out she's in a hospital.

The other side of town. As an old question, why? Why do you want? Why are you going there for? What do you mean? Why am I going there? Why do you think I'm going there? She owes me money. And I want it paid in full.

I'm going there to see her. So telling me not telling me the right hospital. Because you know, if you say she's in hospital, this one major hospital, which is generally what people go in.

That entrance. So I can't remember the point of why I was mentioning this. Remember, it must have been a reason.

I've seen a few decent programs on television. I've been watching the Fear the Walking Dead. Unfortunately, when it gets to the end of the fifth season, I'm not able to watch any other seasons without paying.

Which I think is ridiculous. Seriously ridiculous. Like tease me for five seasons.

And now if I want to watch season six, he won't $25 from me, or something like that. And I'm not paying that. I've already paid for the service.

Got to pay on top. Yeah, I don't really like the way Amazon do things. I think it's out of order.

They charge for a subscription and then they charge extra on top of that. No, not my thing. So I might have a jacket potato today.

I think they take three minutes in a microwave. Although to me, that's a chore, but hey, that's fine. Might have some cheese on it.

In fact, I could use the oven. Put that on top and stick them in the oven for a couple minutes to annoy my landlady. I remember when I was in my early 20s, always, I get home from work.

I put the saucepan full of water on the hob. One of the hobs and then eventually I'll put the saucepan full of water on the hob. So I'm struggling to stay awake for this.

So I'm going to make it a little bit shorter than normal, but I will be making 11, 12, 13. That is potentially here. I'm just daydreaming now, really.

I'm just... So you're going to come back again one day and listen to it again. Yeah. Miss Piggy.

I don't know if any of you at least watched the Muppet Babies. I used to love the Muppet Babies. And then Freggle Rock.

The thing I like most about Freggle Rock is there is a guidance, like a counsellor, who people with the freggles would go to, to get advice. And it was called the Trash Heap. And if there was an argument between two of the freggles, they'd come before the Trash Heap and tell them their problems and the Trash Heap would decide what to do.

And it kind of starts straight away. And every time when the Trash Heap gave advice, you know, one of the freggles would say, Arnbert, have you considered this Trash Heap? And the Trash Heap would shout out with a roaring voice. The Trash Heap has spoken.

And that would be the end of it. I'd like the opportunity to say that more often myself to people. The Trash Heap has spoken.

So I think this is going to be the end of this recording. Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy. Are you going to let yourself go and sleep? So sleepy.

So sleepy.