#536 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let me bore you to sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

Today I'm actually watching the election. I'm watching the American election on television. You know I'm not actually there.

I'm hiding behind a curtain behind Biden and I'm whispering things in his ear to say. Things to remind him of. Things like his name and what he's doing there.

What he's watching on telly. It's the election. Mr Biden it's the election.

Yeah it's time time to go do wee-wees. That's it. Very old aren't they? Very old.

Trump and Biden. I mean Trump, I don't know, looks like he's got he's thinking about stuff. He's you know he's got he's got an agenda.

Biden seems just like a sweet old granddad. He's like the loveliest man. I just want to if I met him I'd want to sit on his knee.

I'm sure he wouldn't want that. I don't think anyone would want me sitting on their knee but he just comes across as nice. Like quite friendly.

He's got a nice clueless. I don't know. That was a good film wasn't it? Clueless.

It's the battle of the clueless. Battle of the oldies. It's kind of weird.

Yeah. Neither Trump nor Biden would be allowed to work at McDonald's because they're too old. Wouldn't be able to manage a McDonald's.

What a 76, 78 years old. No they wouldn't be allowed to manage a McDonald's. You'd have to retire.

But it's okay you can manage a country. I mean I've been around. You could say I'm still around.

I've never met a 78 year old who I thought, you know I've met 78 year olds and I thought they're lovely. You know I like old people actually. I quite like them.

I don't want to kiss them but I quite like them. I think it's probably because I got on so well with my Nan and she was nearly 100. So you know I was used to spending time with elderly people so I've got a lot of respect.

I suppose. I don't know. But I've never met someone getting on to the age of 80 and thinking you know what you need to do.

You need to get into politics. You need to start running a country. Yeah.

So surely what have you got 300 and about 330 million Americans living in America or people living in America. I guess not everyone's classed as an American or classes themselves as an American. I don't know how it works really but 330 million people.

And these are the two people you've got to represent the country. These are the two people only those that you can vote for one or the other. And I think they're wonderful.

I love both of them equally but they're like old rugs. You don't get rid of the old rug because it's nostalgic. Someone gave it to you you know when you was 15 and you've kept it and now you're 50 and you're keeping that old rug.

I'm not getting rid of it. For those people who listen to this under the age of 30 I've got underpants older than you. So the good thing about being me is I don't care about politics really.

It's not generally. I'm interested just in the way that I'm interested in how monkeys behave in the forest. I've got itchy balls.

So you know that's kind of where I am with that. I'm interested. I do find it interesting but I don't know because I find it strange because over here in my country, so I'm living in a little island you know it's 70 million, 77 million people in the size of one of your, in America you've got states bigger than my country.

So we're very squashed together but in the same way we're not. So we're squashed together in other cities maybe London. I mean it's what people like to argue about if you say there's 10 million people in London.

No it's 8 million. Oh you've counted them all have you? Yeah come back when you've counted them all then we'll have a discussion either that or when you're sober. There's 8 million.

Like really come on is it that important to you? 8 million not 11 million. Some people get really excited but the election stuff in America I don't pretend to understand at all because the process personally I think is ridiculous but I think the same about the English one as well. I personally, okay it's controversial, it should be down on the numbers of people that vote.

So I'll talk about my own country that way I can't. How dare you talk about America. This is my country.

My country. America's mine. You know what I can go down to the local graveyard and see graves older than America.

Seriously just locally. It's not, it's a very young country you know unlike pretty much every other country in the world really apart from those that keep getting renamed. So I thought come on.

So someone did say how come for such a young country they've got such old people in charge? Maybe that's needed. I think if you're going to have someone old, nearly 80, I think they should be both of them. I think just like get them both together.

Let's equal each other out. Get the gentleness, gentle side of maybe Biden and the go get side of Trump you know. Or take away Trump's Twitter.

I can't say Twitter without whistling. See I follow everyone. I follow people that I don't even like on Twitter.

Just out of interest to see what they've got to say. But I don't go onto Twitter very often. And if you go onto my Twitter you'll see most of the people I follow are boxers.

Yeah probably 70-80% of the people I follow on Twitter are boxers. Because I like to keep up to date with what they're doing, what they've got to say. Because I'm a boxing fan.

I'm a big boxing fan. Love the boxing. And I've just come off of a really big weekend of boxing.

It was literally three events, three boxing events all in the same night. So in England we had a boxing event. And then in America there was two different boxing events with world title fights.

One was on Channel 5, which was free. The other one was on Fyde TV, which I watched all of right before it got to the final fight. And then it said you have to pay $9.99 to watch this.

So I thought no. I turned over and I watched the Tank Davis fight, which was great. He's brilliant.

Anyway, I know those who aren't interested in boxing will not be interested in hearing about it. That's good because this is supposed to be boring. I love it.

It's a win-win situation. Oh, win-win. I so much prefer doing this without a camera.

I know, I know, I know that some people prefer the videos and I'd love to please everybody. And some of the people that prefer the videos are people that have been supporting me for years. And I'm just like, oh, it's just nicer to do without.

Because I can watch the telly. I can tell you, look, Trump is the Electoral College. Trump's 108.

Biden's 118. With next to it in grey, 270 to win. So it's close at the moment.

Trump was way ahead early on. And then Biden became well ahead about half an hour ago. It's a 270.

So they're kind of getting close to the halfway mark of what they need. I mean, Biden's 120, 118, 240. At this rate, three hours time, it should be done.

But apparently it's not going to be. It's going to go on. Blimey, it's only four o'clock in the morning.

Wow. But yeah, I, oh, look, there are other people to vote for. So it's not just them two oldies.

There's other people you can vote for, but no one is. Because Democratic, Republican are two main houses, houses. So I don't really understand the American politics.

It's very, very complicated. I mean, our politics here, it's very steeped in tradition. Very, could use the word anal, if you want, in the sense of everything being done correctly.

And in the House of Commons, addressing the questions to the speaker, directly to the speaker instead of to the person you're actually directing the questions to. For example, Prime Minister's question time. And yeah, it's almost silly.

Just like in the courts, judges wearing white wigs still. And imagine, okay, it's bad enough you've done something you regret and you, you know, and you go into prison or, but to be sent to prison by some knobhead wearing a big white wig, you know, almost out of the French aristocracy, you know, the ones that got guillotined back in, I don't know, whatever year it is, or was. Stupid, white, crappy.

Another thing, I think every single House of Commons person, every politician enters the House of Commons should be tested for drugs. Just a swab, not an injection, just a swab, quick swab, test, saliva test. And it'd be nice to know.

Imagine if they did that in America. Wow. I mean, I'd be interested in how many politicians are proper on it.

Like a carbonate? No, they're proper on the old sniff, sniff. There's one particular politician in the UK, and he has the face of a severe, someone that's really drunk or really off their head in the moment. Like really, like not there.

I'm not going to say who it is because I don't want to lose all my valuable possessions in a court case. But I think if it comes out that he went into rehab, no one would, it wouldn't even, it probably would get headline news, but just for the sake of it. Oh, I suppose we'd better put it in the headline news.

We put this stuff on for every other politician that messes up. But no one would be surprised. Oh, he's in rehab.

Pastor Marmalade, darling. It wouldn't be surprising to anybody, I don't think. I think that's the thing.

I don't know what the thing is. Oh yeah, I would, I think that it should be, so you've got the Democrats and the undemocrats. The people that are democratic and the ones that are undemocratic.

Is that right? Because if you're not a democratic, that's the thing, isn't it? Basically, if you're not a democrat, if you're not democratic, then you're undemocratic, which means you're the opposite to the laws of the land. You're opposite to what America was built upon. The foundations.

Wow. I'm just playing with language here. So in England, we've got Labour and the Conservatives, Liberal Democrats, Green Party, and UKIP.

I guess that's another one. So you know, although UKIP are changing their name to no longer associated with Farage. I think that's what they call themselves.

And who was it? So those are the parties, but there's only only two. It's always only two. In like in America, it's just two parties.

And it goes backwards and forwards. And it has done for a long time. Conservatives and Labour.

Backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards. But Conservatives have had it much more often than Labour has. Although Labour did very well with Blair, as far as you know, having power.

Oh, my knees just cracked. So I think it shouldn't be, you know, at the moment, it's in this country. So if you've got let's say you've got a town, like Chelmsford, or Swansea, okay.

And whoever's running for to be the MP for that area. So if it's Democrats, or not Democrats, whether it's Labour, or Conservative, whoever wins, sometimes it is Liberal Democrat. Sometimes I think they've got, I think Green, Green Party, got one person as an MP.

And you've got the occasional independent as well. But anyway, instead of that whole area going to Conservative, I think they should just mind you, I suppose it would work out the same. Yeah, not bother with what just actually put down who you want.

And the amount of people, all together, the vote Conservative, and the amount of people all together vote Labour in the entire country. And then just whoever got the most votes wins. But then they can't do that, because then the whole country would be run by Conservatives, or by Labour.

Every council, every town would be have an MP from so there wouldn't be any other MPs with that. Yes, but it wouldn't work. I've told myself out of it.

Yeah, it wouldn't, it doesn't work anyway. Government doesn't work. Doesn't work here doesn't.

I don't think it really works anywhere. They plod by, they do their best. But I'll tell you something.

We're so we're so lucky. Those in America, those in the UK, those that moan, moan and moan and moan. We are very lucky that we have the government go to other countries, where they change government on a whim.

You know, keep changing Prime Ministers, keep changing all those that don't have a government really, he's just the same person in power for their entire life. And they pass it down to the next person, their son. Go and live there.

Go on. I dare you. They moan about us, they moan about what we've got.

We've got a pretty good compared to others. It's not perfect, never will be. And really, police force, they're as good as the individual person, aren't they? If you got an arsehole, then he's gonna be an arsehole, whether he's a policeman, fireman, surgeon, lollipop lady, working the bakery, collecting the rubbish.

That person, if that's how they are, if they're a complete knob, knob, knobby, knob, knob, then that's if they've got that kind of personality or that kind of attitude, you know, if they're filled with hate, or they just don't care about what they do, then that's going to come across whatever they do, which we need. That's why I think we need to vet, we really need to vet our waste disposal people, you know, and I have people here that do collect the rubbish, and they come, they swear really loudly, shouting, moaning about the rubbish, and, oh, it's smelly.

What did you expect? You do the job, what, five days a week, 48 weeks a year, you know, maybe 46 weeks a year, with holidays and that, so you do this job.

Why are you surprised that a cupboard outside, where all the communal black rubbish bags are, sitting sometimes for nearly two weeks, are smelly? Why are you surprised at that? I mean, can you imagine having a sore brain that constantly surprises something that you see all the time? Maybe it's a good thing, you'll be able to watch the same movie over and over again, pick the movie out, you only actually get to watch, you don't have to watch more than one movie, just the same movie. In fact, you could literally watch Groundhog Day, the movie, and enjoy it every single time. Mind you, I do anyway, to be fair, I love it, but I only watch it probably every couple of years.

I get a little bit more out of it every time, on those dreaming. I was watching last, two years ago, on a Sunday, I think it was in September, might be in October, and I was watching Groundhog Day, and there was an emergency downstairs and had to get an ambulance and stuff, so I didn't get to see the rest of it, and I hadn't seen it for years. Now, it was on this Sunday, and I watched it, and I loved it, loved it.

It's one of my favourite films. There's parts of it I don't like, you know, the part when he's trying to basically, you know, extinguish himself, and I thought, well, what if he'd have done that on the time when he came out of the loop, as it were? I don't want to spoil it for anyone, but it's a 40-year-old film, so get over yourself. If you haven't seen it, you should have seen it by now.

It's a great film, but I was about 87, yes, over 30 years old. Mind you, there's still some films that I've not seen yet, and I don't want to spoil. So, there's some films, but there's some films that there's no point ever watching again.

Let me tell you the films that I think there's no point watching them if you've watched them once, and it's cruel to spoil it for someone else if they've not seen it. So, someone's posted on in a bipolar support group, anyone from London, or am I the only person with bipolar in it? I was like, really? Really? You that important? You that important? Is it anyone from London with bipolar? Yeah, there's lots of people.

Some of these support groups, first of all, they're not supportive at all, sometimes, and also, I read what people say, and I sometimes think that just some of the people with, put it down to illness, put it down to, you know, their illness is why they're like they are, but I think the illness side, yeah, but the personality side, I think they just might not be very nice, using it as an excuse.

I think some people do use mental health or mental illness as an excuse to just do what they want, say what they want, and expect to get away with it. I know I do. It's never my fault.

I'm ill. Well, you know what? I've got bipolar, but I have control over what I say. Yeah, but everyone's different.

Okay, how come these people that cause troubles in supermarkets, you know, with supermarket staff, and stop being rude to them, blame it on their bipolar, yeah, don't do that. Don't walk up to someone in a pub. They won't have a fight with someone in a supermarket.

They won't do it in a pub. They won't walk up to the toughest man they can find in a pub and start a fight. Won't walk up to a policeman and try and start a fight.

Won't start a fight with a doorman, but they'll pick on someone that they think they can beat up. I've met people like that. Got nothing to do with their bipolar.

They're bullies. Bully, bully, bully, bully, bully, chunky, bully, bully, bully, chunky, bully, bullies. I want to say thank you to Viola of Voila.

Hi, Jason, here's a little support. Thanks for all the effort you put into the recordings. I really appreciate that.

It's so helpful to fall asleep with us, especially when life is a chaotic. Say hello to Andre. Have a good week.

Greetings from Germany, Viola. Thank you, Viola. I really appreciate that.

You're lovely. So you sent me a PayPal gift. So thank you.

I'm going to send you a message now. Hi. Thank you for your gift.

Have a great week. Week. No, I put thank you as the topic.

Thank you. That was very, very, very kind of you. Thanks.

And I've got a few messages. Let me read you out my messages. I've got some comments right from the video.

So it's quite weird. Well, not weird, but I get more views on YouTube if I do a video than I do if it's just the audio. There you go.

And I've had 11 likes, apparently only 47 views, which is not great, but still, you know, six comments. So I've got a comment from Robin says glad you're back. So I need to reply.

Don't I? Thank you. Thank you. So that's it.

Brilliant. Done. The next comment says, great to see you again.

This is for Sorenable. Hiya. So I shall comment there.

Thank you. That's a weird noise. Then I've got Boston Chicky.

Yay, more vlogs, please. So I'll put thank you. Really, if it wasn't for Boston Chicky, I wouldn't be doing these recordings because these Let Me Boys Sleep led from me doing the vlogs.

So Boston Chicky was the most supportive person you could ever meet when it came to doing the vlogs. Because she was really into it and she got me involved in some vlog groups. There was one group.

I can't remember what it's called. But it was basically doing one vlog every single day. Andre on the... He's a little bastard.

I'm stuck in this chair doing a recording here. And he's just run off in the middle of the carpet and done a wee. And now he's just lying down.

What's he doing? He's stretching out. I don't know if he's going back to sleep or not. Now he's scratching himself.

Now he's licking. Oh, lovely. And he... Yeah, I did... Boston introduced me to this group who were doing 365 days a year vlogging.

And it was like a challenge. Yeah, like a... I forget the name of it, but it was really cool. And she introduced me to all these different vloggers and some of them were really good.

I mean, good as in interesting. I really liked them. I kind of almost felt like I was friends with them.

And I miss it a little bit because I lost... Because when I lost my channel, or when I deleted my channel, probably is probably a better way of looking at it, but when I deleted it, I lost contact with everybody pretty much. Most of the people on YouTube, which was a shame. But there were some people I really got on really well with on YouTube.

And so yeah, just like Boston Chicky was the person that really supported me with that stuff. And yeah, Mandy says, excellent. Welcome back.

Yay. So thank you. Thank you, Mandy.

Why can't I go to her page? Damn. I'm trying to look at a picture. It looks really pretty.

I'm just trying to look at it, but I can't. It won't open up. The perv is back.

Says, I used to enjoy the old videos when you laid in bed talking. Thank you. Well, I mean, in a way, I'm still doing the same thing.

I'm just not on camera. Does that make sense? Still, I mean, for me, the audio quality is something that I, that I always wanted to be able to have improved. And now it has taken a while to get there.

Oh, Trump is 114. Biden is 192 on the Electrical College. Electrical.

Electoral. So oldie Biden. And Trump, that's a word for fart in the UK.

He trumped. It's not a new word for fart, not since he became president. That is what Trump means in the UK.

It's fart. And Donald. It's a Disney character.

Donald. I was thinking about that. James Bond.

Sounds like a tough, doesn't it? James Bond. Tough man. But take away the surname.

What's your name? James. Don't mess with me. Who is he? His name's James.

You come one step further, I'll knock you clean out. Well, who are you then? I'm James. Don't you forget it.

My name's James. I'm tough. I'm the toughest, strongest, macho-est man.

James. It's the least macho name. Lucius.

That sounds like quite a macho name, doesn't it? Thor. You know, that's, I know obviously it's supposed to be, but it's still like, it could be equal, couldn't it? My name's Bond. Jason Bond.

Mind you, Jason Bourne. Jason's a very good name. I don't say that just because it's my name.

It's the only reason I say it. But it is a good name. I think more people, I think you should, anyone here old enough or young enough for your, you know, for your bits, they're still working.

If you have a baby, call it Jason. Boy or girl, Jason. I mean, it doesn't matter.

I'm not the most masculine man in the world. So, you know, Jason, I think could be a man or woman. Doesn't matter.

Just after me. Name your kid after me. Just one person out there.

Name your child after me. You know, the amount of times I've said, you know, people saw on Facebook, said I'm having a child. We're thinking of a name.

And I always post Jason. I think I'm joking. I'd never joke about something like that.

It's not why would I joke about something as serious as creating a world full of people called Jason? I feel a little bit sorry for people called Adolf. There's a lot of people called Adolf. You know, in the 30s and 40s, that had that name already.

Guaranteed, wouldn't it must be a lot of people called Adolf Hitler as well. Hitler couldn't be the only person called Hitler in the whole of Europe. There's plenty of people with my name, surname and first name.

Not loads, but there's a few. There's a Antive. I think he's a specialist in like weird diseases and stuff.

Bacterial diseases with my name. But of course, he's a doctor. It must be so annoying to think about it, that he's devoted his life.

He's gone and he's got, he's gone to school to get the top grades in order to go to university, to get top grades in order to go to study to be a doctor. Spending sort of seven, eight years of his life getting into debt, maybe hundreds of thousands of pounds in debt, I don't know. And then he specialises in helping children with rare diseases.

Which is an amazing thing to do. When people put his name into Google, my face pops up. How annoying must that be? I mean, it's so annoying.

You'd think for someone doing that, you'd want to be the only one, the only Jason Newland, wouldn't you? If he was like a doctor helping children, it's like phenomenal what he's doing. Yet, I'm on Google above him. I'm the, not famous, but I'm the better known one.

Not in his circles, obviously, but you know, internet wise, I almost feel like sending him an email just to say sorry. Sorry about that. That wasn't my intention.

I didn't know there was others with my name out there. If I'd known that, I wouldn't have spent 15, 16 years promoting myself and making sure that I'm on thousands of websites. Shop, shop, shop, shop, shop.

If it wasn't such a wonderful day. Wonderful day. Andre, can I listen to him? Oh, now he's doing it.

So he's climbing onto the area, which is all got cat litter so that he can do a poo poo, which is nice. But I wonder if I wasn't here watching him, he'd be doing it on a carpet where he'd just done a wee. Bless him.

He's a good boy, generally. He is. He's generally quite a good boy, but so what else do I need to talk about? If there was a soldier.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mind you. Oh, yeah, there was another message here.

I can't quite make out the message. I could read the message. But I don't really know where, you know, with words like where's it coming from? It says the world doesn't need a hero.

It needs a professional. Welcome back. But then there's a emoji picture of like a yellow face emoji thing.

Be racist, I think. And with a big smile or grin or whatever. So I don't really know what that means.

Anyone? Maybe it's maybe I'm trying to read something into it then there isn't. The world doesn't need a hero. It needs a professional.

Now the world does need heroes. And professionals. The world doesn't need a hit.

The world needs everything. The world needs lorry drivers. It needs people that are good at swimming.

The world needs people. Unfortunately, the world needs people for all things. I mean, did I say that I was a hero? I can't remember if I'm if I'm I don't I don't listen to myself.

And I don't know half of what I've really said. And most of what I say is just off the cuff. Rubbish, really, it's just just talking rubbish.

And that's what I do in these recordings. So these recordings are not supposed to be professional. I hope that comes across as being obvious.

I'm not trying to be a professional with this with the other stuff I do. With the other things I do. But even so, I'm not interested in the professionalism.

I'm not interested in being uptight and being all proper. Don't care about that. For me, it's about helping people.

Does it work? So if I do a relaxation session? Does it work? If you've listened to it? Do you feel more relaxed now than you did before you pressed the play button on the podcast? You know, at the end of it, do you feel more relaxed? If the answer is yes, then it worked. And that's, for me, that's the minimum that I'm looking for. To be able to get a yes from a question like that.

That's what I'm hoping for. I don't expect it every time. Because some people, I mean, some people are going to listen to my voice and it might be like listen to a constipated owl trying to give birth to a hedgehog.

You know, I don't know. You know, I mean, it might, it might not sound particularly wonderful to them. And those people will go away and find someone else who is better suited for their needs.

So I can't be everything for everyone. Of course not. Shut up.

Pretending to sneeze. But I'm something for some people. I think, if that makes sense.

And I'm doing something right. I don't 100% know what it is I'm doing right. As maybe I don't necessarily know what I'm doing wrong.

I suppose having a ferret sneezing in the background is not ideal when I'm making recordings. But the world doesn't need a hero, it needs a professional. I mean, in a way, I'm professional in a sense of, I'm not doing, I'm not doing weird stuff on here with the hypnosis side of things.

I say weird, it's probably not the right word. That's a bit judgy of me. I'm not doing sexual stuff, you know, I'm not doing, you know, be my slave.

I'm not doing increasing body parts, you know, using hypnosis or some of the stuff. It does really I don't know if the word surprise. In fact, let me go and show you let me let you let me read you out some of the stuff that's on here that you may not be aware of.

So I wrote, why do I like at this when I'm trying to stay awake? Why do I like at this when I'm trying to stay awake? I'm already tired. I don't understand what that question was. Okay, right.

So if I put in erotic hypnosis, just to give you an idea of the kind of stuff. So erotic hypnosis, hands free orgasms for women. Hands free orgasm with the only clear water.

Now, this is ultra hypnosis. Okay. Ultra hypnosis.

Kind of friends with them. You know, audio is intended for listeners 18 years or older. Whoa, listen to that.

So I think I've had contact with them in the past. But they don't just do that stuff. Ultra hypnosis is lots of stuff.

They do kind of everything. Yeah. They're one of the top, the top hypnotists on YouTube.

415,000 subscribers. I've subscribed to them. And they do different things stuff that I can't.

Maybe I just can't do that stuff. I don't. I can't imagine wanting to.

But some of the stuff's great. So they got here, progressive skeletal relaxation. Brilliant.

I've not listened to it. But the you know, what great idea relaxing the bones. If I'm going to give that one a go.

Not listen to that, but maybe do my own little version. There's no one do not fret little one, you're under my care. Wow.

Submissive sleepyhead pleasurable sleep. Empty your mind. Clicker fractionation loop.

So they've been I mean, they've been doing stuff for years and years. They've got I don't know how many videos they've got. They've been going for over nine years anyway.

The most popular one is okay. The most popular is 30 million. And it's nine years ago, hypnosis can't stop laughing request.

So 30 million views. I mean, brilliant for them. Wow.

30 million views just one video. That's amazing. But I just it's the gimmicky stuff that I'm not even though I mess around on these recordings.

I take the hypnosis side of things quite seriously. Even though I mess around a little bit in those as well. But I do take what I'm doing fairly serious.

And most of the most of the time. Yeah, hypnosis can't stop laughing, hands free orgasms. Hypnosis forget your name.

I mean, why would anyone want to forget their name? I'm 50. You know, I'm trying to hold on to what I remember. I want to start letting go of stuff.

And then one the floor is lava. Sleep deeply mute your voice. Feel high.

Hands free orgasm sleep hypnosis. You'll find yourself feeling more and more pleasurable. With every word you hear me say.

You'll notice the part of your body that feels so pleasurable. You never noticed it before. I can make up I can make up sentences.

I can make up titles. I'm quite good at titles. Getting better.

You can enjoy the sensation of the bottoms of your feet underneath your feet, the soles of your feet. There's a particular part that feels really pleasurable. And that part is connected to other parts of you.

The already know feel really pleasurable.Me, me, me, me. Robotic signal hypnosis.

See that's it. But then you got hypnosis for body acceptance. Brilliant.

Love that. That's you know, positive body image. Hypnosis of body confidence.

Swimsuit confidence. Confidence in a swimsuit. Again, they're going to do that swimsuit stuff, but reduce carbohydrates.

I you know, that's really, I guess it's just doing what feels right for you in there. They got stress and anxiety, loads of stuff there. I'm not to be fair, probably learn quite a lot by listening to them.

Maybe learn how to do a proper relaxation session. Is that what some of you is thinking? Is it? I did my own version of stuff. I don't do the same as anybody.

Nobody's the same as me. Not when it comes to hypnosis. I do it very different.

A lot of people do it different. We all got our own styles. But I'm very, I'm not very controlling.

I don't really tell people what to do. There's one here. Hypnogasm.

Really? So you found this video. That means you're curious. Maybe curious about hypnosis.

Maybe curious about what you can really feel. Maybe you've heard about incredible things stemming from hypnosis. Maybe you're just bored and ended up on the wrong side of YouTube.

Regardless, you're interested in what I can do for you. I'm going to take some time to explain what hypnosis is. And if you'd like to skip this part, go straight to the video.

There will be annotation. However, most beginners will get a lot from this next bit. So hypnosis, what do you really know about it? You have heard something like you can't bear but the writing's too quick.

Now, I'm not I'm not a particularly quick speaker necessarily. But the way they've put the writing on, it's like it's not lasted long enough. And for me, if it's just going to be writing on the screen, I would want it to be at the speed of slowing down.

And there's no voice for this. Nothing. Just writing on the screen.

That's strange. Let's begin. Hold your arms straight over your body.

Okay, I'm doing that. Feel your arm get 20 times heavier. Three, heavier and heavier.

Four, feel the weight starting to pull your arm down. Okay. Five, keep your arm up until I say the number 10.

I want to, your arm is getting very heavy now. Seven, your arm is starting to shake under the weight. Eight, 100 times more weight.

Nine, ready to enter trance. 10, feel your arm drop down and your mind go blank. You're feeling so wonderful.

Every word brings you deeper into trance. Feel your thoughts vanishing. Your mind is drifting along with my words.

I'm going to give you the opportunity to go even deeper. Now, come. I want you to hold your arm out and imagine you are holding a knob.

What? Very good. This knob is your trance knob. It had 10 settings.

For each twist you give it, you'll go 100 times deeper in the trance. Now I'm going to count up from 1 to 10. Every number I count, you will turn your knob in your hand.

Every time you turn the knob, you will go 100 times further. You know this is true. One, turning the knob.

Two, feel yourself drop deeper and deeper. Three, feel all thoughts leave you. Four, it's too hard to think of yourself.

Let my words guide you. I'm just reading off the screen by the way. Six, sinking down and down and down.

Seven, completely willing to obey. Eight, 100 times deeper. Nine, feeling so amazing.

Ten, your mind is completely blank. Let my words guide you. It's so easy to let my words guide you.

Now I want you to feel relaxed and excited. It's time for the pleasure to start. Now I want you to know what I can make you feel wonderful things.

When I say the word BAM, you will feel a jolt of pleasure. This pleasure will get stronger and stronger the more I say the command BAM. That feels good, doesn't it? It will get 1000 times stronger.

BAM. Feel your body react. BAM.

It feels like the best pleasure you've ever had. BAM. Now the pleasure lasts twice as long.

Anticipate what that will feel like. BAM. You are so horny.

BAM. Feel your body react. BAM.

1000 times better. BAM. You have never been this horny.

BAM. You want to orgasm so bad. BAM.

Your hands are roaming all over your body. BAM. No they're not.

Every touch sends waves of pleasure. BAM. Now for the finale.

Every time I give you the command BAM, you will feel double the pleasure from all sources. Now start to dingy. Imagine that feeling twice as good.

It feels so good to obey. Ready? BAM. BAM.

BAM. BAM. BAM.

BAM. BAM. Where did you get BAM from? BAM.

BAM. BAM. BAM.

BAM. BAM. BAM.

Bam. That sure felt good didn't it? Welcome to the world of erotic hypnosis. This has been hypnogasm.

Stay horny my friends. Awakening from trance in 1, 2, 3. Wide awake feeling amazing. Be sure to leave a comment about your experience.

Thank you for watching. Bam. Right I need to see the comments.

I have to see the comments. Right here we go. I think the only reason I couldn't go under was because I kept moving my focus to reading the words.

Instructions unclear. Have hornets in my microwave. OMG that was so pleasurable.

I felt so good. It didn't work on me. Maybe it would be better with a voice instead of text.

You should do a voice over instead of words. I believe that it would help people become more entranced rather than reading words and getting distracted from the spiral. Stop being in my recommendation.

I don't want to be horny. I found myself on the dark side of YouTube again. LOL.

And I got OMG help I felt completely entranced. But that didn't orgasm. Da Vinci Black says the fact that I had to hold my phone turned me off.

Wow. This person says wow that was actually worked. It was amazing.

Anim Chan contact me. Do you think that's good? Melancholy Blight says this was really good but I wish it was a little longer. You know Melancholy I've had many many people say that to me in the past.

It doesn't seem to work for me. Hypnosis doesn't seem to work. Says Cameron 99.

Yeah this is a good tester for hypnosis. Damn. That's one of the reasons that it worries me well it annoys me a little bit when I that people might listen to it or read you know watch a video and think oh this is hypnosis.

As it worked I didn't I don't know whatever I didn't get the happy ending I was hoping for. And how am I supposed to do this stuff from the text when I'm looking at the spiral. My vocal sounds that way we could focus on you instead of trying to read words.

There is someone that does that. You literally just go. Honestly it sounds like it's constipation.

That's what it sounds like. It's kind of working. It's either that or it's me trying to get out of a chair.

It kind of works for me but when you kept on saying BAM it made me say in my mind get out of this touter zone. I don't understand that. Okay hypnosis only works on weak minded people.

This worked. I am weak minded. Someone said here I love your videos.

They bring so much pleasure usually. This one didn't work that well and I'm not really sure why. Thank you for everything though.

Wow. LOL. Sort of worked.

Now I have a headache though because of my headphones. Ben Affleck says when is your next video? That was amazing says Jen R. Not bad at first I had my doubts because of my ADHD. A song I always play in my head.

I wanted it to work it just didn't for me. Look I have had many hypnotists use their tricks on me. It never worked.

Neither did this. Did you think about the strong willed people who believe their own mind so much. They won't do anything.

Nothing. Oh yeah I can't be hypnotised. I didn't focus on the spiral because of the words.

LMAO. Awesome dude says it was amazing. Elizabeth Thomas says when will your next video be out if you don't mind me asking.

Considering the topic. Considering the whole thing. There's not a lot of negativity.

Wow. Maybe I should start doing that. I change my mind so easily don't I. I'm going to start doing some erotic stuff.

That's it. I'm going to start doing erotic hypnosis. Wow.

If I knew what you would do you'd know it's true indeed. Don't you know it's going to show and everybody sees. Maybe I will.

Maybe I'll start doing. I think it's all of these stuff. Erotic stuff.

They're getting something millions of downloads or hundreds of thousands. Maybe I should do it. Maybe I should.

Just perhaps I'd need to open a new channel though. Have it completely separate. I call myself Dr Horny.

So yeah anyway. I feel that's probably enough for me. For a year probably.

What's the time. What on earth has gone on with my. The lens is falling out of my glasses.

Which is why I can't actually. This is not good. So now the lens has fallen out of my glasses which means.

Damn you. No. Oh I hope it's not.

I hope it's the channel rather than the actual. Please let it be the channel. No.

I'm looking at it and it's all like blurry. Oh BBC 2 is blurry as well. OK.

The ITV not quite as blurry. I do wonder about my eyesight. Oh.

Well that's interesting. It's my left eye that's blurry not my right eye. The right lens is actually really clear.

But the left lens isn't. But it's the left lens that isn't. That's the problem.

How can my eyesight just change so quickly in the time of this recording. So if I look through my right eye. I've got my glasses on.

I've got my right eye open. My left eye closed. The picture is perfect.

I can read the writing. I'm going to move to BBC 1 now. Perfect.

Absolutely perfect. OK. Yeah.

I can see everything. Clearly. Looking through my left eye.

It's ridiculously bad. In fact I can't even see. There's a percentage.

Some of the writing I can't even see it. This is blurry. But with my right eye.

Fine. That's weird. How can that happen.

So now looking at both. It's actually blurry. Because I'm looking through both eyes.

So it's not lining up. Does that make sense. Right eye which is on it's own is fine.

Wow. So instead of closing my eyes. Because of course that's going to have an effect on my vision anyway.

For a few seconds or whatever as I'm opening them. So I'm just putting one hand above. So I put my hand above my left eye.

So I'm just looking with my right eye. And I can see everything fine. Put my hand over my right eye.

And just look with my left eye. All the writing is blurry. And the people are a bit blurry.

But with my right eye. Fine. With the lens.

Without the lens it's all blurry. But with the lens with the glasses. Fine.

Without a lens the left eye is well completely blurry. But with left. With the glasses on it's still blurry.

More so the writing than the actual picture. But it's still blurry. Put it together.

The picture is not so bad. But the writing is really blurry. This is really strange.

I didn't even notice it until right now. It leaves me thinking it was because the right lens was kind of damaged. Let me see if this makes a difference.

That's a bit better. I suppose it's. I need to get an eye test.

I need to get my tested eyes done. But there's basically starting tomorrow or well starting in. Is it Wednesday today isn't it? So what's the time now? 5 in the morning.

5 in the evening. So in 14 hours time the whole of England goes into lockdown. So things like I'm pretty sure opticians will be closed.

I might be wrong but how strange. The other day when boxing my friend brought up television so we could all watch it on this huge television. It was massive.

You know absolutely huge. And it was on a table so it was actually closer to me than my TV is. Honestly I was just.

It was lovely. I thought it'd be too close. I thought no that's too close.

But it wasn't. I was like wow. So basically perhaps this is what I need to do.

I need to get myself a big television so that I can see it. Instead of sort of making a big deal about my eyesight. Of course my eyesight is going to reduce.

It's supposed to I suppose isn't it? But I can't believe the difference between my left eye and my right eye. I mean I might have noticed it before but I don't remember it. I mean these lenses, the left lenses, because I'm looking through glasses it should be the same for both.

And it's nowhere near. I mean it's a hell of a lot worse without the glasses. Without the glasses I can't.

I can see the picture. It's two people talking. I can see them.

I can't see the writing. It's all blurry. And depending on how clear the picture is I can't see the people either.

But on this occasion it's a very clear picture. A very well lit environment. If I go to, well that is one isn't it? If I go to three.

Yeah. So it seems like I can see the outline but there's a lady on there and she's got eyes. And I can't see her eyes.

They're just foggy. Does that make sense? I can't always see their faces which is not bad. There's someone on there I don't really want to see their face.

I can just take the glasses off and still enjoy the programme. Not that that happens often. Right I'm going to go.

Thanks for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself. And according to this, as we leave it, it says here Trump's 136 and Biden is 205.

So take care of yourselves. Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy. And do something nice for yourself because even in my country all they're going to be talking about is the election in America.

But if you're in America you're going to be bombarded with it. On the news, on the radio, on the internet, everywhere. So give yourself a break.

Do something nice for yourself. Have a little rest from it all. And yeah.

So I shall speak to you next time. Lots of love.