#533 Let me bore you to sleep

Good evening everybody. Welcome to jasonnewland.com. Newland. Newland, sorry.

Sorry, he's just correcting me there. Yes. They can hear you.

Yes, obviously. They heard you correcting me. I've got to tell them that I corrected you.

They heard me do it. Okay. Sorry, carry on with the introduction.

Welcome everybody. This is... I'm not sure whether he's... I think he's going to try and bore you all to sleep actually. This is let me bore you to sleep.

Let me bore you to sleep. Okay. Okay, thank you.

What number is this one, Jason? Too many. Too many? Too many numbers. It's number... 533.

533. Right, okay. So, welcome everyone.

I'm talking to... Would you like to introduce yourself? My name's Dean. I'm a friend of Jason's. I haven't known Jason that long actually.

Which is why we're still friends. Which is why we're still friends, yes. I met Jason actually probably last year.

Last year, wasn't it? Yeah, he was... That was the first time we met. We'd spoken on the phone a few times but... He discovered me in a tree in his garden looking for some binoculars. And he offered me a cup of coffee and I thought, wow.

I mean, if anybody's actually seen a picture of you obviously you've shaved your beard off now but before you actually shaved your beard off most people probably would have found you in the garden because you look like David Bellamy, the botanist. So, yeah, you could well have been in my garden. Very much so.

Probably looking at all the plants in my garden. Yeah. Miss Newland, have you... I just wonder whether you've fallen asleep actually.

I just thought, I wonder how long I could keep quiet and how long you'd have to talk for. This is your recording, not my recording. It's your show.

jasonnewland.com Jason Newland. Dog. See, no one knows how to say my name.

Well, the reason why... This is the truth of the matter. Basically, I was just about to make a recording and Dean phoned me and I said to him, well, I've got to do a recording and he said, oh please, please, please, can I be on it? Please, can I be on it? Please, please, please. That's why I had a conversation with Jason.

Okay, I said, you can be on the recording if you want. He didn't ask you to. I just said if you... He did, he begged.

No, I said, you can if you want because I realised that the conversation with him was probably just as... I don't mean this badly actually. This sounds bad. Just as boring as what I'd have if I was talking to myself.

I didn't mean it in a bad way like that. That sounded rude, didn't it? What I mean... Well, it sounded rude. I understand.

I don't mean it in a rude way, but I mean probably for you, listening to me doing this recording is the same as talking to me. Well, I listened to one of your recordings yesterday and I thought, well... They do stand up and they do bore you to sleep, Jason. You're very good at it.

I'm very boring. Within 15 minutes, I was asleep. Yeah, so you're very good.

Thank you. I agree. I do agree.

I was bored and I think I'm getting bored now. Shall I put the phone down? I've found a new technique. I've found a new technique to... It's something that I've been doing lately.

If you close your eyes, just close your eyes and just focus on pretty much nothing. Just literally focus on what level of tiredness you are. Just focus on that.

The more you focus on it, the stronger that tiredness becomes and you just fall asleep. But I do it when I'm sitting on the edge of the bed which isn't a good time to do it. But I'm just experimenting, you know.

And I nearly fell down which was not great. Something I noticed is if you want to see if it works, hold... That was weird. Hold something in your hands.

So sit on the edge of your bed, hold something in your hands and... Well I had my phone in my hand when I was doing it. So of course it's whatever. And my body relaxed and I dropped the phone.

So ideally don't hold the phone in your hand because they're too expensive these days, aren't they? Apart from your one, you've still got one from the 90s, haven't you? 80s. 80s, really? Oh my god, that's like a big battery on the back. Yeah, like a brick.

Blimey. I don't know. I don't know.

Mind you, even the ones from the 90s would probably be well expensive now to get some money from them. From the antique shop. But... What? I'd have to tell you a story actually about... I used to sell phones years and years ago and I worked in West Africa for a little while.

And whilst I was in West Africa a couple of young girls in the hotel sort of said to me, Dina, have you got any spare phones? So I said, yeah, funny enough I've got probably about four or five. Next time you come out to the office in Africa, can you bring some phones? So I said, yeah, no problem at all. Anyway, phones were so expensive in West Africa, Nigeria as it were.

They were so expensive that it was almost pay as you go. And to top a phone up, if you were a security guard, it would cost you a month's wages to actually top your phone up. So obviously phones are very expensive.

Anyway, these girls in the hotel, three of the phones didn't work. And these girls actually they would be on the minibus pretending to actually make phone calls because these phones, it was a status symbol to actually have a phone. So going about the cost of phones and everything.

Phones are so expensive. Jason's falling asleep now. Oh, wait a sec.

I was sorry, no, I was just doing something else. You alright? You still there? I'm still good. Oops.

Bloody hell, did you hear that? Yes. Was it Andre? No, it's the cushion. Oh, right.

Yeah, right, okay. No, trust me, if that was a fart, I'd need to call an ambulance. That was... Well, no, no, it's the cushion.

I can't follow through on a cushion, can I? And if I did follow through, if it was a fart and I followed through, I probably wouldn't mention it. It's a bit of a... This is a family audience. We don't talk about things like farts.

No. You're the one that pulled it up. Literally.

Well, did you finish the story? Because I went and had a little nap. Well, I was just saying about the expense of phones and these young girls in Nigeria where I was working at the time just wanted these phones just so they could actually... You told your story about the young girls in West Africa? Yes. You didn't tell that to them, did you? Yeah, unfortunately.

Oh, the one about the phones, you mean? Yeah, you said be boring. Oh, no, I thought it was the other story you told them. No.

No, no, good. The reason you got kicked out of West Africa. That was a weird place to actually work, I'll tell you.

You get gravel graving on the Central Reservation. It'd be like a dual carriageway. Speeding cars going either side and there'd be cattle actually grazing on the Central Reservation.

You know where I always thought that I'd like to work? I think, is it Maplins? You know, the gift and the... I don't know. The toy shop in London. What's the toy shop? Hamleys.

What was that called? Maplins. Oh, no, that was electrical, wasn't it? Yeah, Hamleys. What was the idea of working in Hamleys? Right.

Is there a particular reason? Well, you said that you worked in West Africa. I was saying that I wanted to work in Hamleys. Is it Hamleys? I can see the connection there.

It's working, isn't it? Yeah. I don't know. I actually had a job interview in I think it was 19... 91.

I think it was 91. And I had a job interview at Hamleys in London. And I was living in London and I couldn't find it.

Can you believe it? It's like one of the biggest stores, isn't it? The biggest toy shop in the country. And probably in the world, maybe, even. I don't know.

Was it Oxford Street? Regent Street? It's got to be one of those major places, isn't it? Oxford Street or Piccadilly Circus, maybe. I don't know. But I couldn't find it.

And I was late for the interview so I just gave up. I could have had a proper job there. It was for the Christmas season.

I think it was probably November, end of October time that I had the interview for. It could have been a lot of fun, you know. Could have been.

You'd have probably been one of those on the front of the store where you're sort of demonstrating throwing a paper airplane around or a boomerang as it turns to you. A paper airplane! Ha ha ha ha! So you're saying you're telling me that I'm in a store the biggest, most famous toy store in the whole of the land, possibly the whole of the world and they're going to have me downstairs throwing paper airplanes around! Yeah, but a paper airplane is not... I know we're both old, but even I'm not old enough to remember them being new.

I remember my gran saying, we used to have a stick and a rock we used to hit a rock across the road with a stick that was our fun.

It's like, what's fun? Mind you, it can be fun. I suppose, but I had another grandmother, she said I was naughty so I got a bag of coal for Christmas. It's like, just horrible, isn't it? Yeah.

That's just wrong. I suppose if it was really cold you might be grateful for that bag of coal. Well I was thinking... If you had a fire going.

Yeah, but I mean as far as presents go it does seem like a really rubbish present. Like a bit of coal, that would be a punishment but a bag of coal, I mean it's... I can see the benefit of it, but... Loads of presents. Yeah, loads of presents.

There's your birthday present in advance. That's Easter. No, I don't know, it's just I don't know why she told me this story.

That she got that, or got coal for my Christmas because I'd be naughty. I mean how naughty do you have to be to get coal? I mean, that's... Didn't you ask? I don't know, it's like coal or adoption, isn't it really? That seems to be the two options. We're going to put you up for adoption or you can have a bag of coal.

We'll give you another chance to behave yourself. I don't know. What's the worst present you've ever had? The worst present? I must be honest, my my stepmother she buys I don't usually say to her that people don't buy me clothes because I'm quite fussy with what? Buy clothes.

Don't buy me clothes. Say cause you have to have them fit specially. Well, especially the... No? I don't know, I'm just asking! XX XX XX XX XX XX XX LLL lll xl Yeah, carry on, sorry.

I can't really talk, can I? I am not in a position to really talk there. One year she bought me a They bought my dad and my step mum bought me a Mauve shell suit. A Mauve? That's purple isn't it, Mauve? Yeah, yeah.

This was after they were in fashion weren't they? In the early 90s. This was after they were in fashion. That fashion sort of phase sort of came to an end and I got one for Christmas.

And then I used to get for birthday Christmas and the following Christmas I got a David Beckham aftershave that they bought at the local market. So it wasn't real then? Nothing against Mr Beckham but three bottles of David Beckham aftershave. When was this? This was a few years ago.

Did you say your mother in law or your step mum? My step mother. Your step mother? My mum, all she does is put £10 in an envelope. I don't get anything, she doesn't buy anything special.

She doesn't go out and buy anything. I just end up with £10 in an envelope from my mum. I texted her a thing I got once for a present.

It was a, what is it, crepe making pan. Crepe, crepe, crepe, crepe, crepe. And I've still got it.

And it's like what, why, why? It's like getting a fondue set isn't it? Who the hell wants a fondue set for Christ sake? You know what, we were forced when I was a kid. I say forced but it is still, when you're a kid and you're getting fed and you've got no choice about what else to eat, you're kind of forced to eat what you're given aren't you? And the idea, sitting there, cooking your own food, little bits of meat, in oils, this is really rubbish. Even I know this is rubbish and I'm only 10.

I know this is really rubbish. And I don't have, I remember I was 10 and I thought, even if I live to be 100, I don't have this time to waste. I really don't, there's other things I need to be doing.

It got to the point that I was so bored and I hated fondue sets and the dinners when we had fondue so much that I made an excuse to go and do homework. And I actually did it. I actually did the homework.

Because I didn't want to sit there for 7 hours. It's a breeding ground for food poison though. Read the face of it, you're given a raw bit of meat and you've got to cook it yourself.

It's just a recipe for disaster. Yeah but food poison is nothing compared to what can happen if you spend 4 hours at a dinner table with my family. Back then, like 3 brothers, dad, mum, whatever.

3 hours, that's a long time to not be arguing or fighting or someone to say something wrong. So yeah, I didn't enjoy that. That was fondue sets.

Ridiculous. Of course, unless it's people that love it. So the worst present you've ever had is this frying pan you got to make you.

That's the worst present you got is it? Well a frying pan. Nothing worse than that. You never got a bag of coal then? I don't know anyone that would feel brave enough to give me a bag of coal.

I mean, I've never used coal in my life. Our parents and our grandparents have used coal, fossil fuels, things of the past. Yeah, I mean my dad, in the house we lived in, we did have a fireplace.

So there'd be coal and wood, he'd kind of use both. But we also had heating, central heating as well. So the fireplace was more a novelty thing, like maybe over Christmas and stuff.

And he had the same with another house he had that he still got, but he sealed all that up. He had the fireplace for a while and he sealed it all up. I remember watching, everyone would be asleep and I'd be focusing, praying for a bit of coal to pop over the fire guard.

Just to set fire to the carpet. Happened a couple of times. I remember my dad saying, why didn't you do something? I said, I didn't do something, I'd been focusing on that happening for three hours.

Look, look what I did. It's his psychic ability, but he didn't, I don't think that's what he meant. But yeah, it was, I'm trying to think.

I mean you say, haven't you had a worse present than a frying pan for Christmas? I mean, have you heard yourself that sentence? I mean that's pretty crap. It is pretty crap actually. I was just sort of comparing it to a bag of coal.

Yeah, I suppose it's not as bad as a bag of coal. It's expensive isn't it? A big old bag. But, I mean I suppose for me when I was a kid, if a bag of coal appeared, that would mean there'd be less room in the coal bunker for me.

So I preferred it when I was, yeah I was like, oh it's going to be really snuggly now. Did you have a coal bunker then? Yeah, when I was in I think Newcastle, maybe London when I was very little. I used to go and get locked up in there.

Locked up in there? Yeah, that was fun, brilliant. Coal does taste weird. If you're there long enough you have to eat something don't you? I've never fought the urge to actually eat any coal.

Yeah, it's very, apparently it's supposed to be quite good for your teeth. I mean my mum's actually cooked Christmas dinner and it's ended up looking like a bit of coal. I suppose, like burnt offering.

Oh, I've done that. Carbogenic? I've done it, yeah, I have potatoes and yeah. What are you doing for Christmas this year? Are you getting married or something? Have you got a date for your marriage yet? Not yet, no.

Well, it's supposed to be this year wasn't it, but because of Covid and everything, we've had to sort of put everything on hold. So what's the, I don't know if the rules, didn't they change the rules again? You're only allowed 5 people, you can have 30 people to a funeral and 5 people to a wedding I think. Wow, I mean, I imagine I'd have more people at my funeral than my wedding.

People would want to make sure I was really dead I guess, I don't know. Well you can have 30 people to a funeral. See I don't know 30 people to come along to a wedding.

I don't know if I've got that many people that would want to come. And if I had all of my wife or future wife to be's family there, then I'd be like, what's his name, Prince Harry's wedding. When her mum was just sitting on her own.

That was disgusting, it really upset me that did. Because Prince Charles, if he ever wanted to be, to be a hero, I'll tell you what he should have done. Apart from, well no, done a strip.

I think he should have walked over there and maybe took his wife with him. I don't know, but gone over there, gave her a big cuddle and just sat with her. Or got her to go over to the other side and sit with them.

Leaving her to sit on her own, being filmed, watched by millions, sitting on her own. That was just wrong. It was so, I don't know, it just annoyed me.

And the fact that her daughter allowed that. Just shows how much, you know what I mean, you wouldn't allow that would you? Well you wouldn't know. You wouldn't allow your mum or your dad just to sit there on their own at your wedding.

It's like, no way, no way. So when we finally get married, we don't know when it will be. So we'll probably be in lockdown for it.

Are you hoping, I'm just asking this obviously between me and you. From a financial point of view, are you hoping this just drags on for a long time? What, Covid? I'm just thinking of the money you're going to pay out for a wedding. Are you kind of almost hoping that you'll only be able to invite three people? No, we would like to celebrate it a bit.

How many people, are you going to have a big people, a lot of people? Yeah, we can have loads. Loads of people are going to be there. There's probably going to be about five family members and the rest are friends, you know.

Oh right. Have you got any single women? Single? Just... Single women, have I got any single women? Not you personally, but... OK, I'll just edit that question out of the recording, I think. Do I know any single women that I could introduce you to, you mean? That's what you're trying to say.

Yeah, but I just have this idea there's going to be a voice from the background pop in and start having a go at me. Probably. Yeah, let's not do that.

So, have you got any questions as a huge fan of my podcast? Not really. I'm just thinking, funny enough, I actually phoned you and I'm thinking this is costing me money to be on your podcast. Really? Don't you get a certain amount of minutes on your thing? Yeah, I do actually.

I think I get an hour, you know, and then it stops costing me. You're joking? No. An hour? I think so, yeah.

That sounds like the kind of contract that they used to do 20 years ago. I think I've got unlimited minutes, actually, on this contract. It's quite a good contract, actually.

You're a bit of a liar, aren't you? You're a big liar. You're just making it up. You trying to get off the call? No, you can get off the call any time, I don't.

I realise that it's a bit weird talking on the thing, but the good thing about it is no matter what anyone says when they're being recorded, no one's going to sound as silly as me. So, that's the benefit. This is true.

No one's going to say anything more absurd than what I've already said in the past, so, you know, it's all just... So, where do a vast majority of your listeners come from? Do you want me to tell you? I can tell you the stats. Where are they? See, for those who are listening, not everybody, you know, some people enjoy hearing about the stats. Really? Because not everybody does.

Oh, I'm quite interested to actually know where a vast majority of your listeners actually come from. Well, just out of interest, it's 20 to 11, and I've had 6,084 downloads today so far. And yesterday I had 8,030.

So, 11, 12, 1, I've still got about three hours left of the day. That wasn't what you asked, but I wanted to tell someone. I wanted to tell someone.

OK, right, let me just look at the stats. Is this live then, this broadcasting? No, it's not live. It's not going out live.

No, but it will go out exactly as it's recorded. Apart from that really loud... I haven't been rude or anything, have I? No, you haven't. The only thing that's happened is... Any insanity or anything, or sort of, you know... Fucking... I've made any sort of racial remarks or anything... Oh my God, you wouldn't say anything.

You've got me thinking now. No, I don't remember hearing anything like that. I did go into the bedroom for, you know, an hour earlier when you were talking.

Oh my God, you were talking about West Africa as well, weren't you? Yeah. I don't know what you said about that, but... What do you want to know? I didn't say anything to upset anybody. I don't care anyway, because I'm not the one that said it.

Because you said it, it doesn't matter. Where's that guy come from? I don't want to sue him. Let him try.

Look, they can take my £14 that I have in my bank account. With these stats, OK, these stats... I get the overall stats of all the different, like my 2,019,603 downloads since November 21st in 2018. Those stats are from Spotify, iTunes, all various different places.

Now, the geolocation, I don't know if it's all of those places or it's just Spreaker, which is where I'm hosted. But this gives you a rough idea. United States is 40%.

United Kingdom's 20%. Australia's 9%. Canada's 7%.

This is the audience. Philippines, nearly 3%. India, 1.8%. Ireland, 1.8%. Sweden, 1.17%. Netherlands, 1.16%. New Zealand, 1%.

And others, 11.14%. Others, others, what's others mean? Other countries, others, other places. There's lots of, I'm pretty much listened everywhere, I guess, around the world that has access to the internet and all that stuff. But I used to, I've had other podcasts that were more specific with the stats.

And I remember I had like 116 different countries on one of them. So America is your biggest audience then? Yeah, it's 40.85%. According to this, it always has been right from the start. Always had a larger American audience.

It used to be more 50%. At one point it was 70%. But now I've ranged over to other countries as well.

Which is good. But the number one city is Sydney. So 1.73%. Brisbane is 1.53%. Melbourne, 1.05%. So the first, the top three cities are in Australia.

So you'd think that it'd be in America, wouldn't you? And then you've got Dublin. Another one in Australia, Perth. So it's quite weird because, and then Montreal, Canada.

So it's literally one, two, three, four, five, six cities. The six top cities are outside of the USA. Yet 40% of the listeners are from the USA.

Boring. If I was going to start doing an advertising campaign, I'd need to know who to focus at. Yeah, yeah.

So I know USA, and I know Canada and Australia and everything. New Zealand. Yeah, the UK as well.

I'm pleased that I've got more UK people listening than I used to. Because there was a time when hardly anybody in England listened to me. That's because all the people were telling you about Jason.

Oh, you should listen to my band, Jason. Yeah, I don't know how it works. I know I've been doing this a long time.

So there's that perspective of just time and you keep... I mean, I think I've been doing it so long that people have just given up. Just given up not listening to it. They just listen to me because they're just used to it.

I suppose I'm like an old towel. You know what I mean? I'm just something people are used to now. An old rag.

They put you in the watch too often. Yeah, they don't. They like the smell of me.

It reminds them of the past. I'm like, yeah, maybe that's what it is. Maybe I'm just something that people can't be bothered to chuck away for the nostalgia.

Do you remember when Jason used to be good? Yeah, back in 2011. Back in the day. Yeah, 2011 he was really good.

But we're in 2020 now and he's lost his touch years ago. But we feel sorry for him. We'll just keep listening.

I would say, what they would say is, Jason, he's still boring. Yeah, and that's all I ever wanted to be in life. I remember I went to the careers advisor at school and they said, well, what do you want to do? And I said, I just want to be boring.

And they said, well, you're past. I mean, Steve Davis, like the sneaker, he's boring, you know. Steve Interesting Davis.

No, but he isn't boring. That's the point. That's the thing.

You could change your middle name to Interesting. So it could be Jason Interesting Newland. So as in, I am interesting.

I'll tell you what it is. The part of the reason I did this podcast is because I used to do these vlogs. You know what a vlog is? A blog.

No, it's a vlog. It's basically a video blog. On YouTube, you just do a video of yourself talking about your life and stuff like this really, I suppose, but with video.

And I did that for a while. And a couple of years ago, I did another one. I hadn't done one for ages.

And someone put on Facebook on YouTube, they said, just listening to you talking, even though you're not doing a hypnosis session still sends me to sleep because you're so boring. And I thought, ah, so instead of taking Umbridge, I thought, all right, fair enough. I'm going to give this a go.

If people find what I've got to say boring, even if I find it interesting, if other people find it boring, then let's give this a go. Let's see. Let's see how it works.

So from then on, that's what I did my first podcast. As I said, back in, it was, I think it was that March 2018 was the first Let Me Bore You To Sleep recording. And so it's been two, 19, 20, yeah, so how many months? Yeah, two and a half years or something.

That is, isn't it? It's October now. Yeah. March, April, May, June, July, August, September.

Yeah, two and a half years I've been doing these. Wow. So is it boring? Do you think it's boring? Is it boring being on it? No, no, not at all.

Anyway, I'm going to sleep now. No, I've got to go now. I like that.

I'm about, I was about to make a recording. You phoned me up and want to talk, even though I told you I was doing a recording. So I said, well, come on in the recording because I need to do it.

And now you want to go. Oh, have you? Why? Why have you got to be up so early? Going out, sort of first thing in the morning. Oh, right, OK.

I wanted more details, but it's fine. OK. No, I'm not going to tell you.

By the way, how are you? This is a genuine question. How are you feeling anyway without going into details? Are you feeling a bit better? Yeah, yeah, a lot better. Oh, good, man.

Good, good. Yes. All right, well, we'll say goodbye to everyone then, if you like.

OK. Goodbye. That's it.

Tell everyone you love them. Go on. Say you tell everyone that you love them.

Go on. You can't, can you? What's that? He's a real man. He can't say I love you.

Go on, tell everyone, love you. I love you. Love you.

Love you. Oh, thank you. Love you all the time.

Now tell everyone else the same thing. All right. Well, I'm going to go.

I will continue my recording once you've gone. So try not to listen. If you ever do listen back to this, don't listen to the bit afterwards.

I'll try not to. All right, see you later. OK.

Take care. Bye. Bye.

Oh, didn't he go on? All right. By the way. Just to let.

Oh, my goodness. Just to let you know. I won't be doing.

I won't be inviting people on to talk every single day. This is just a random. Thing.

That has happened. So don't worry about that. We'll get back to our normal.

Excitingness. That we always have. OK, so be good.

Did it. Did it. Did it.

Did it. Did it. Did it.

Did it. Did it. Did it.

OK, so I got scammed today. Scammed. Very annoying.

Because I. I was waiting for some documents. That I needed to fill in. I thought the documents had arrived.

So I clicked on it. And it was a document that needed clicking on. OK.

And. I clicked. Clicked on it and it says it's 365.

Microsoft weather. You need to sign in to use this. So go to sign in.

And before I finish. Well after I finished I realized. That I just basically give my password.

And my. Details. To some random.

You know. Fraudster. So straight away.

I was trying to log out of the email. See when you're. When you're on a. Using a web page.

You can log out of the email address really easy. When you're using an app. It's not so easy.

To log out. How do I get out of this thing. I needed to do it quickly.

Could not find a way to sign out of the bloody thing. So what I did is. I had to open a page.

On a browser. Log in that way. And then change the details.

Change the password. And everything like that. And then.

Delete. The apps. Off my.

iPad and my phone. And then upload the iPad. Upload the apps again.

Logging in with. The new details. Absolutely ridiculous.

I can't believe I fell for it. I'm usually. Pretty good.

With that stuff. I am. I'm not.

I'm not bragging. I'm not. I'm not bragging.

But I. I'm usually pretty good. But on this occasion. Absolutely.

Terrible. So. It was a little bit annoying.

Well. It was a lot annoying. In fact.

Because. As it happened. I. I just.

I was so. Just. A little bit.

I was deflated. By having been. Caught.

By this fraudster. That I just wanted to go and lie down. But I couldn't.

Because I needed to get the. Information changed. Instantly.

The. The. Password changed.

Instantly. Before. Whoever.

You know. Had my details. Was able to log in.

And start sending emails to people. And you know. Doing whatever they do.

A similar thing happened. With Amazon. And.

I actually. Ordered something on Amazon. Yeah.

And I got an email. Seconds later. Saying that the payment didn't go through.

So I log on to it. Click the page. Takes me to an Amazon page.

The login page. Put my email address. Password.

And then I realise. Because I look at the top of it. I realise that.

It's not Amazon. It's just a. A false page. So they can collect people's details.

So I come out of there. Get straight into Amazon. Via.

You know. Properly. Log in.

Change the password. Straight away. Luckily that was okay.

I should do it in time. But man. Seriously.

If they would have sent. The scammers. Would have sent that email.

Saying that your payment didn't go through. Please click here. Because it wasn't just my password.

They were going to take my card details. As well. So.

They would have sent that out. To probably millions of people. And it just happened.

That I'd ordered something. On Amazon. Can you imagine how many other.

Thousands. Hundreds of thousands of people. Who just ordered something on Amazon.

Yeah. A bit sickening really. So I've been caught.

I've had my Facebook. Hacked. I've had my huge.

My. Email account hacked. In the past.

I. Don't really know why they. Well. I kind of do know why.

But it's. I don't. I don't think.

You know. Why wouldn't they be able to hack. Someone's email address.

When. These hackers can. Break into.

You know. The NHS. Or they can.

Hack. Governments. Of course they're going to be able to get into.

Someone's email address aren't they. If they want to. So the only reason.

That my email address. Or your email address is not hacked. Is because.

The big people. The big hackers don't want to. The ones that know how to.

Clearly don't want to. And the ones that don't know how to. Have to do it through fraud.

You know. A way to find. To get your details.

I remember. At one time. I had every email.

That was ever sent to me. Over like a 10 year period. And when my email got hacked.

I deleted. Everything. Every single.

Email. Because of all the personal. You know personal information.

That was on some of them. So I deleted everything. So I lost.

Conversations I'd had with people. That I would have quite liked to have kept. Actually.

As evidence. Just you know. Interest in stuff.

So just conversations I've had. And. It's all gone.

I'm feeling so tired. I think it's tiring. To talk.

To do the talking. But then to also do a. Hold a conversation as well. Because having a conversation.

When you're recording it. And knowing it's going to be going out. It's not the same.

It's you know. It's not the same as just.Me just moaning.

Or talking. How can I strain my neck. Yielding.

Really. That's ridiculous. How.

Anyway. I'm going to go. It's a little bit shorter than normal.

It's 15 minutes or whatever. But. That's okay.

It's okay with me. Which is the main thing. I might have a daily night tonight.

I don't know. By the way. I did a recording.

Relaxation hypnosis for stress. Anxiety. That's a really.

I would say it's a pretty good recording. Pretty pretty good. Pretty pretty good.

Anyway. So that's it. Nothing happened today.

I was at home all day. Went out. Took Andre for a walk.

And that was it. He didn't want to walk. Got into the park.

And he dug his feet in. He determined for me not to drag him along. So I dragged him.

Not hard. I just like very slowly. So I thought well I walk.

And I sit down on a bench. A park bench. And he can do what he wants.

And he just lay there staring at me. At one point he literally was just staring at me. Almost like he was angry.

And then when I did walk towards him. Ready to go. He climbed up.

And he got inside my jacket. And that was it. And that was it.

Didn't want to get out again. And I was waiting for the chip van to come round. Because I thought.

You know what I'll do. I'll have some chips. Did not.

Did not turn up. That's the whole story really. There's nothing much to say.

Yeah. I waited for the chip van. Didn't turn up.

And I got on with my life. And I reckon. That that story will not be.

A chapter of my. Autobiography. So I'm going to go.

Thank you for listening. I'll be back tomorrow. But I will just be.

Just be me talking on my own. Maybe Andre will be. Partaking.

I don't know why am I sniffing. Oh please no. No.

And I shall speak to you tomorrow. Remember. To be kind to yourself.

Because. You deserve. To be.

Happy. Lots of love. Bye.