#530 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Andre, I do apologize. Andre's right behind me and he's always letting off these little bits of wind.

He's a naughty little boy. For those that don't know who Andre is, he's my crocodile that I have running around. The good thing about it is I've lost weight since I've had him.

I don't mean like limbs and stuff but I don't get to sit still for very often, I just have to keep running away from him as he tries to eat me. So today, today it marks, it marks something. Let me just get my phone and I will show you.

I will tell you because obviously you can't see the phone. I'll just take my glasses off. So today, well a little while ago, so I don't know it's but today anyway, I've reached the two million total downloads for my podcasts in less than two years.

So that's the statistics for less than two years. So it was the 21st of November I started these podcasts on Spreaker and it's now, what day is it, 26th of October and I've got two million and two hundred and fifty seven. Yay, and today so far I've got 5,713.

So yeah I'm pretty pleased that I've reached the two million. So without me calculating I can't quite work out what I want averaging but I suppose I can in a way because if I just go back. Don't hesitate because I love just what we do.

Really? Ah, okay. So last month I had 140,829. August 135,151.

This month so far 140,800 and there's still, what did I say, 26 today. So there's still five days left. So that's about another 25,000 I guess, 30,000 which means I'll be on about 170,000 this month as opposed to 140,000 last month.

So 170,000. Please stop telling us your stats. Nope.

170,000 times by 12 is two million a year, 2,040,000 a year. So now although I've reached 2,000 over two years I'm actually on target to have 2,000,000 every year based on my daily and monthly stats. Wow and I reckon, I reckon if I have the same uplift that I had last January because I just for some reason the stats grew between December and January.

Suddenly I was getting a lot more. So if that happens this year because I said I rarely, I've said this before, I rarely go below 5,000 in a day. And it's now kind of more towards the 6,000 averaging.

So it's like wow. I just, I'm interested. I wasn't interested earlier but I am now.

Earlier today I had no interest. I completely forgot about it. I forgot about, because I've been looking at it every day.

I know that it's coming towards the 2,000,000 because yesterday it was like 1,000,992 or 93 or something. So yeah, this is groovy. Groovy McBoovy.

So yeah, I'm pleased. That's good. I probably have about 6,000 before the end of the day.

So that's good. So it's kind of one of those things. I don't know what one of those things it is.

By the way, did I say only listen when you can safely close your eyes? Because this is a boring recording. That's what it's all about, man. Oh, the gym has sent me another message.

First month half price and no joining fee with code half price at the gym. Use your old pin number. 734275961.

Oh no, I've got another one. Hello, your latest mobile bill is £67 and payment will be taken on or just after the 1st of November. Brilliant.

Thanks. Oh man, continuous. Money, money, money, money, money, money.

What's that weird name? Excuse me. So how does that play when I've even got it on silent? It's Ali Sherlock being silly. If you don't know who Ali Sherlock is, a phenomenal singer, really, really brilliant singer.

She's from Ireland. And she not only does she sing other people's songs, she does covers, but she also writes her own songs as well. But she so I've been a big fan.

I was a huge fan of cranberries. And there's a certain singing style that only seems to know I'm banging the microphones only seems to happen. Or anything to hear in Irish singers.

It's particularly female Irish singers. And she's got that that I'm not sure what it's called. There might be a name for it.

But she's got it. I like listening to her. The thing is, due to the success of her YouTube channel, and she sells merchandise and she's on shop she's iTunes and stuff like that.

I would almost be surprised if she wasn't already a millionaire with what she's done. She's she's a you know, she gets I think she had 70 million or one of her videos. And she's done loads of videos.

I mean, she had she released a video and I just happened to come across it on YouTube. And it been uploaded 25 minutes ago in it or not now but at the time, and she thought he had 6000 views in 25 minutes. I mean, come on.

I could My YouTube channel, I don't even have 6001 video. I used to. But yeah, not not on this channel.

Between 25 minutes. Did I ever tell you about my, my one and only? And what would you want to call it? The video went viral. It wasn't really viral.

But for me, it was viral. I did this video called was it try and stay awake, hypnosis channel, hypnosis video, try and stay awake, sleep recording. So the video is me is in 2011.

And I think it was a yellow background. And it was recorded in this room was like a therapy room behind the Buddhist center that I used to use sometimes. And because I lived up the road, and I knew the people there, I said, Can I please use the therapy room at night? At the weekends, if there's no one around, if there's no one using it, can I use it and make recordings? And he said, No, but I had the keys.

So I did it anyway. And they said yes, they said yes. And I recorded that one.

I recorded a few quite a few different things that there. But with that one, so I edited it. It wasn't a lot of editing, just beginning and end situation.

And recorded on my video recorder I had at the time, which is pretty good one actually. But I didn't really know how to use and I never learned. I just used it anyway.

But then iPhones came out and or I got my first iPhone. And I started using the camera on there. They started making videos that way.

So anyway, this video I did is about 22 minutes long, I think uploaded it and it had background music on it as well. So I uploaded it to my YouTube channel, which was doing all right. Actually, it was doing all right.

When I when I actually was they destroyed the channel because I did I deleted it in 2000 and 2012. And I'd had half a million video views at that point. So I was, again, I mean, it's nothing compared to successful YouTube channels.

But can you imagine where I'd be now? After another nine years, 10 years, 11 years, 100 years, you know, another eight or nine years later, that 500,000 would be maybe 600,000. My peak, and I actually deleted it at my peak, can you believe it? I dared myself to delete it, dared myself. And I was making so self employed at the time, and I was getting 100 and 180 pounds a month for it, which was needed because I was earning so little as a counsellor and therapist was really not, you know, at that time, it's a 45,000 video views was giving me about 180.

It might be $180. So I might be getting it wrong with the amount, but which, of course, is a lot less than 180 pounds, that would be about 125 pounds, roughly. But I'm pretty sure it's in pounds.

I don't know. Anyway, before, you know, this is, I was living in a different accommodation before that. So I made this recording this video.

Try and sleep, try and stay awake, not try and sleep, try and stay awake hypnosis challenge. And I uploaded it. And I shared it not just on Facebook, on Twitter, Google Plus, remember Google Plus anyone, anyone and all the other social networks.

I was on every all of them at one point. I really need to start making the effort might be able to get some people listening to my stuff. And the I also shared it on every single Facebook group that I belong to.

And at that stage, I've been on Facebook since probably 2007, maybe six 2007. And I was a member of every chronic pain group, every insomnia group, every group basically to do with that kind of stuff. So I was on over 100.

So I shared it on every single group. I had a few people moan. Nowadays, you didn't share anything, you can get moaned at straight away, or blocked or whatever.

But back then, I kind of got away with it. And because I wasn't doing this regularly, I wasn't constantly sharing stuff on these groups. Because I was like a one off, people seem to be okay with it.

Well, I can believe that within a few days, I had over 10,000 views, plays of the video or views of the video. And it truly was on YouTube, my very first, to me, it was like a viral video for me, because of how quickly it grew, and kept growing. And I ended up with, before I deleted the channel, I had over 100,000 views of that video, if not more.

And that's what contributed, I think, to my YouTube channel growing. I mean, at the time, I was getting quite a few anyway. I was making videos and very regularly and I was getting, yeah, it was growing.

I mean, to be at 500,000, I must have had quite a few before that as well. But the channel, I think when I when I got rid of it, it was two years old. Oh, no, does that mean I want to get rid of my podcasts? Two years? Oh, no.

Another seed is now in my head. I can't believe I got rid of it. But yeah.

So that was gone in 2012. Fairly early on. And it was really going well.

I mean, I remember in that little room I had is a little cellar, little dungeon. And I had on my wall, you know, the mark, the days, the months, how many downloads I was getting, how much I was earning each day, or not downloads, plays rather, views of the videos. And it was every day was just growing.

It was even if it was only by 100, few hundred, you know, daily, it was just growing subscriptions, I had didn't have that many, 3000. Someone told me a while back, I had a lot more than that. But I don't remember.

I thought I had about a couple of 1000. But apparently, other people have paid more attention to what I do than I do. Which doesn't surprise me by quite a loyal viewership.

So that was quite cool. I enjoyed that. Not enough to keep it going.

But I think this was always used to get affected by negativity that some people chuck at me, especially on YouTube. It's just, it gets very personal. Because quite a lot of it is how you look, or you look like a, and they just fill in the gap, you know, I've heard everything.

And it's, sometimes it's really funny. But sometimes it's just a comment, come say that to my face. You know, you wouldn't say that to somebody's face.

It's just some of this stuff was just really, really cool. Anyway, that might have been one of the days when I just got rid of it, I was just pushed a bit too far. And somebody telling me how rubbish I was, or, you know, that's not real hypnosis.

You're not snapping your fingers. You're not, you're not swaying a watch. You're not getting people to walk downstairs in their mind.

That's not hypnosis. You're not telling people what to do. Well, the majority of the general public don't really know what hypnosis is.

Those that have had hypnosis will know what it feels like for them. But you know, unless you've studied the subject, like I have, and you know, and you won't know what it is, or why should you know what it is? You know, there's millions of things I don't know what are. You know, I don't know.

I can't tell you what I don't know, can I really? I was just about to list all the things I don't know. Here's number one, I don't know much about uh, exactly. I don't have an idea.

So that was a bit weird. Should have kept that channel. But I didn't.

And that's it. So and you know, after that, I opened another channel. I kept losing the channel.

I had someone that kept saying that my stuff was offensive or, you know, contained stuff like that, really. So I had a couple of channels taken off me, deleted. I didn't know a channel and then it was gone within a few days.

So I just gave up. And I didn't go on YouTube all probably for about over a year. And then I thought, well, I'll upload all my stuff, all my videos.

But I'm not going to give any attention to YouTube at all. I'll upload the videos because I don't have control over YouTube or the channel. I have control as far as I've got the password, and I can get in there and do my stuff and put the videos on in there.

But I don't have control over the content really. Unlike with the podcast, I'm in control of everything. Because I pay for the service, it costs me $72 or whatever it is a month.

So over a thousand pound a year, $1,000 a year, it costs me to have this podcast, these podcasts. So of course, I'm in control. I own this stuff.

I own, I'm the boss. So I can't have someone, someone doesn't like a podcast episode, tough. I don't mean that in a bad way, because I don't, I'm not out to cause problems or upset people, but they can't ruin, ruin, you know, they can't get it taken off because it's mine.

In YouTube, you can go on there and moan and you can end up losing your channel. That's why I think YouTube should charge. I really do.

I think YouTube offer it free, but give people the options to take control of their own channel by saying, will you pay? Especially ones that are earning money anyway, so they're not going to lose much. They'll be covered and say, yeah, you pay $50 a month. And that way your, your videos will be safe.

They can't just be taken off because someone complains. And you know, you'll have your own website that's connected to the YouTube channel and have all these other things that they could do. Make it really good.

Although it is pretty good anyway, I suppose. But the thing with YouTube is, I mean, people moan about adverts on my podcasts, even though they're right at the beginning. There was a blip last week where I don't know why some adverts are being played in the middle of the podcast.

Now I didn't set that up. I wouldn't, you know, that, um, that's just ridiculous. You know, but there was a blip in the system and the only reason I found out, two reasons, someone told me, and also it coincided with me not actually having any adverts on at all, because I'd taken all the adverts off.

And then I looked and I'd, the adverts were playing because I'd made some money had been earned. It was only a small amount, but there shouldn't have been any. It's like, what's this? It's like, where did that $10 come from? And it turned out that even though there's no pre-roll adverts, there's no post-roll adverts.

I don't have post-roll adverts. So that's adverts right at the very end of the recording. There are none.

Some people think there are, because they might be listening to the next recording and there's adverts at the beginning, but there are no end of the podcast adverts. There are only the very maximum two adverts right at the beginning of the podcast. That's episode and that's it.

There's nothing else throughout. I could have another two. I could have the post-advert post-roll.

So I could have adverts at the end and also two breaks during a podcast and have adverts there. So if I had adverts at the end of the podcast, I could double, instantly double the amount of advertising money. If I had them in the middle of the podcast, initially I could, you know, make, have a lot more money coming in, but then when I would stop listening myself, if there's adverts during the actual recording, if I'm listening there to an hour session and then 32 minutes in a big advert came on, yeah, I wouldn't want to listen to that.

Although everyone does have the option to download stuff for free. You can download it. So you don't actually have to listen to it or stream live.

You can just download it and listen to it another time. And that way there'll be no adverts. As far as I'm aware, I don't think you download the adverts with it.

That'd be weird. I might be wrong. Never have been yet.

Oh, really? You really believe you're right all the time? Of course I am. Yeah, of course. So the only way there'd ever be adverts in the middle of the recording is if it was a podcast about something, you know, if it was, for example, if it was like a radio show kind of format.

So that I was talking and then so here's a break, here's some adverts. And I might be doing something like that in the future, but that'll only be for something much longer. You know, I'm thinking about perhaps doing a weekly recording on a maybe a Saturday or Sunday, where the Let Me Boy To Sleep lasts or no, no, I won't call it Let Me Boy To Sleep.

It'll be, I don't know, something, but it'll be like three, three hours long, or four hours long, probably three hours. Which means it won't be necessarily to sleep, it'll just be company. So we'll chat and I'll, you know, perhaps read the newspapers or something like that.

And then there'll be adverts, probably every half an hour. But again, they'll just be two adverts. It's not going to go on forever.

And then I'd announce them, you know. So that's something I might do in the future. But I wouldn't have adverts in the middle of a recording, not purposefully.

And I don't know what went wrong there, because I didn't set that up. I think Spreaker must have had a blip. And I didn't complain to Spreaker, because I sorted it out myself manually, and it's done.

And if I wasn't able to correct it, then I'd have contacted Spreaker. But they're a good company, they're, you know, even times when I've not been able to pay them, they still allowed me to keep my podcast for, you know, even a week afterwards, while I kind of waited to get the money. So I like Spreaker a lot.

Genuinely do. And I quite like SoundCloud. Is it SoundCloud? SoundCloud.

But for me, there's no point being on, I mean, I am on lots of different podcasts, hosts, you know, lots and lots and lots. But not hosts, like directories and stuff like that. But I'm not.

I'm just on one host host, which is Spreaker. I don't do any of the others. Because there's no point.

I could be on Podomatic, I could be on SoundCloud, and I could be getting another, I don't know, 100, 200,000 a year downloads, extra on top of what I'm getting already. But for me, it just gets confusing. And it's expensive to pay for, I mean, Podomatic is not cheap at all.

If you've got a big podcast, it used to be okay, the good thing about Podomatic, in the early days, I say the early days, you know, back, I don't know, 10 years ago, maybe longer, I'd upload stuff. So I'd upload all my recordings. So maybe at the time, there'd be about 400 recordings, let's say.

So upload them all. And within a short time, I'd be getting people listening. And they would promote me on there.

I'd be paying maybe 70 pounds or dollars a month, for example, back then, maybe more. So that would be paid and they had their own directory and people were listening. So I would get quite a few, I'd get hundreds and hundreds, and then eventually thousands, maybe two, one, two, 3000 downloads a day, probably about 2000 downloads a day.

It's, it's hard to remember. Maybe it was 1000. But it was still, you know, the time quite good.

But it was that money that was that it was just a little bit too expensive. And maybe I should look at doing it again. The only thing, yeah, and then SoundCloud.

SoundCloud was my favorite podcast host. It was the one that I used for years. I must have had over 10 different channels, SoundCloud accounts, actually the same account, but I just delete it and then have to start all over again.

And I think the most popular one or the best one I had, I had 200,000 downloads in I think it was a two year period. And then previously I'd had 100,000. And then I had another another channel 150,000.

Another one about 85,000. And I just kept deleting them. I don't even know why I can't know why.

Because it wasn't expensive. Initially, I was paying eight pounds a month, which is very small amount of money. Considering the thousands of hours that I was putting on there, they had no limit.

No limit to anything you down upload as much stuff as you want, have as many people listen as you want. And they didn't charge anything extra. Then they put it up to 10 pounds a month.

I think it's now 12 pound a month. So it's you know, it's gone up over the years. But still, still a good deal.

If you just want one podcast, with all your stuff on it. And they've got their own soundcloud have got their own directory, they've got their own audience, which is more than some of the others don't have that. A lot of them do.

But a lot of them have kind of gone in their own way. Like Spreaker has its own audience has its own. Yeah, I suppose they all do to a degree.

But the best audience seem to be podmatic back in the day. Back in the day, I'm so old. I'm saying back in the day.

How old is he? 36? Even 36 sounds old. It's weird, isn't it? 36? How old are you? 36? You're old. How do you never mind? Never you mind.

I hope I never end up being one of those. One of those people that won't tell you their age. How old are you? Don't worry about it.

How old do you think I look? I've met a lot of men like that. And I find it just wow. And I just maybe I don't want to be uptight.

I've never been an uptight man. That kind of strong, silent type. I've never been that.

I'm neither strong nor silent. I just always been there. I suppose to a degree fairly honest.

Not about everything, obviously. But I'm just looking there's a screensaver on my television. It's beautiful.

It's just showing cities and all the lights and stuff. Cities are pretty amazing, aren't they? Really. Considering it's just light bulbs.

Ultimately, millions and millions and millions and millions of light bulbs. Billions maybe. I don't know.

I've not counted them. All those cars. And each car has a person, at least one person inside.

And they're thinking something. And hard to believe, but their life is not based around me. And I just struggle with that.

I'm looking at this footage here on the TV. And there's hundreds of thousands of cars probably going through the city. Probably not many of them are thinking about me right now.

And I don't get it. Other people thinking about other other people. I wonder if he was serious during that podcast when he really thinks that other people should be thinking about him all the time.

I think he might have something wrong with him. Well, yeah, I do. But I am joking.

That was me pulling out my frustration. So, the screenshot is now changed to the Earth. A lot of sand, isn't it? A lot of sand on the planet.

A lot of water as well. I love, I don't do it very often, but sometimes I go onto YouTube and I watch Flat Earthers talking. And something quite fascinating about someone being able to completely ignore all the evidence.

That fascinates me. Now, I realize that religious religions do it all the time, but they were around before the evidence came. To do it now, to do it after, you know, thousands of years or whatever, hundreds of years of evidence being collected to prove certain scientific facts, and then to come out and say, nope, it's flat.

Nope. Dinosaurs don't exist. When we found dinosaur bones and skeletons, whole frozen, you know, bodies of huge, massive animals.

So, but to say it afterwards, to come along afterwards and say, no dinosaurs don't exist. That seems just ridiculous. It's okay, you know, if you've got a 2000 year old religion, and the dinosaurs don't fit in with that particular storyline that they have, then they're going to fight that, of course.

And regardless of how, oh, my voice is going, I'm being struck down. I am drinking coffee. Yes.

Coffee. Coffee. I do find, I tell you something, I forget his name.

What is his name? But he's a bitter old man. He's funny. And he puts down, he's very intellectual.

He's all over the internet. And he's very controversial towards women, towards religion, towards psychology. And he was on a Joe Rogan experience, watched on YouTube.

And he looked like he was practically crying as he was talking. And he's coming out with his stuff that I think represented his mental states in that moment. Talk about wretchedness, and using these old, out of dated terms.

And he came across as so bitter, so hate filled. But towards himself, and he's supposed to be a motivational kind of speaker. And that was the least motivating thing I've ever heard in my life.

And Joe Rogan picked him up on it. He said, how healthy do you think that is to get people to think about themselves as being wretched and useless and pointless. And which is the complete opposite to what self help, motivation, positivity, that stuff.

That's the opposite to it. So he's, I don't know, I forget his name. He's quite well known on the internet.

He's, I think he's a psychologist. He's American. And I've seen him in different settings, and some people are really impressed with him.

And there was a setting where he was being questioned by the audience, and he was putting them down. He was answering matter of fact, rather than emotionally, which is one way to really upset emotionally, emotional people, if they're having an argument, because they can't think straight, because they're too emotional. As someone that's not emotional, can deal with facts, not emotions, not feelings.

When you deal with facts, you actually, the argument makes sense. And it therefore, you can win the argument. I don't personally argue with people.

But I found and I've seen this before. And I don't argue with people about it. Because just because I see the stupidity in someone's logic, in their logic, doesn't mean I got to point it out to them.

And I'm sure got my own fair share of silly ideas, hard to believe. And anyone listens. I've got 1000s of hours of my silly ideas all documented.

Wow, that's weird. You know, if I ever meet someone, I go out on a date with someone and I say, make out I'm really intelligent. So yeah, I'm really, really intelligent, very knowledgeable, very well read.

And all she's got to do is say, I've listened to your podcast. And she's won the argument is like I can't win. You know, whatever argument it is, I say, you know, she said, I've listened to your podcast.

You win. What would you want me to do? Just I kind of set myself up for a fall with this, haven't I? You don't have to come out with some rubbish. It's supposed to be.

It's supposed to be just knock about silly stuff. Any meaning whatsoever. There it is.

Coding bills. Yeah, we should 2 million mark. I'm quite pleased with that.

But getting to the point where I want to find what the right word is a point to what I'm doing or a reason I'll get trying. I think my reason seems to be very, very vague. And it's stayed the same since 2004.

When I first started to try and help people with hypnosis. And it was I want to help people. That was it.

It's very vague. I need to be a little bit more concise, I think about what my what my aim is what my target is what my where am I going with this stuff? Or am I just going to plod along for the next 20 years? And does that make sense? I feel like I should be having some targets. And the targets I do say I do generally reach.

But their targets that are going to happen anyway, I guess. You know, my target first was to reach a million. The next target was to reach 2 million overall, which I've done.

My target was to reach 2 million before the two years was up, which I have. My daily target is continuously rising. So when I get to the when I got to the point where I never went below 3000, I wanted to get to the point where I never went below 4000.

And, you know, heading, my target is 10,000 a day. I'm heading there. I'm getting closer.

I've now broken over the 5000 mark. So on an average day, I'm reaching 6000 plus, or just under 6000. So you know, it's going the way I want it to go.

But I kind of like to do more. I suppose in a way, it's like being at work. And now I'm thinking I want a promotion.

I want to maybe want to change when I do something a little bit different, maybe. I don't know. But if I do something different, I want it to be good, better than what I've done before.

I want it to be useful. And maybe if I could say the word professional without laughing, because I'm probably in some ways the least professional person you'll ever meet, but I'll say that's part of my charm. You know, I'm not trying to tell anyone what to do.

Yeah, I don't know, I just like to, I don't know, I got a little bit interested in the storybook, the Jason bedtime storytime podcast. And then I started just to run out of books, because the out of print stuff, there's not a lot. And then then I had a quandary because I can use some I can read other ones, but change them enough so I can say my, my, my own version or adaption.

But in order to do that, I need to change parts of the story. And the bit that I enjoyed probably the most is making fun of the original story. Now, if I'm changing it myself, then I've got nothing to make fun of.

Yeah, and then I was advised, well do your own story. There's quite a lot involved in that, you know. It's, I have done, I've done that in the past, and I've got one there, which I did.

And then I've done other stories in the past, I've just made stuff up. And some would say, that I make up stuff in these recordings, which I probably would agree. But for maybe I could, maybe, maybe that could be something that I could write down an outline beforehand, and then do it.

So something a little bit different. Or maybe mocking something that's already been done. You know, one bear and the three Goldilocks's or something, you know.

I don't know. We'll see. I still got it in me.

So I haven't been to the doctors yet to remove it. Now still, I still got the idea. I'd like to write a book.

I really would. It seems almost as if if I wrote a book, I would be real, you know, almost like I'd existed, like a kind of a legacy thing, you know, I've left a book, you can, you can read my thoughts, and even if the thoughts are silly and ridiculous, or, you know, whatever, but you've read them, you kind of got to know me. But then I think, I talk for an hour nearly every single day.

And what better way to kind of get to know me than this? Because there's no distractions. Because when you listen to me, you can't be distracted by my amazing, handsome figure. So you know, it's like, oh, he's so beautiful.

I can't concentrate. You don't have that problem with me. If you can't see me, obviously, if you're in the same room as me, you're like, wow, so I can't.

It's, it's like looking into the sun. Oh, it's nothing like that. Other than it's painful looking at me, I guess.

And I don't know, I'd like, I always thought I'd only be able to really express myself in writing because I used to write a lot. And not novels or, you know, I've never written a book. But I used to keep journals.

And I used to write for hours and hours and hours every day, sometimes. But always be writing. I'd even take my books to work with me and write during the break time.

Seriously, I was very into my journals. And it was my thoughts, my feelings, my working out stuff, even just working out if I had enough money to, to pay the rent that week, you know, just that kind of stuff. So, and I was doing that all the way through my 20s.

And also through my 30s. And then when I was 40, 40 years old, I destroyed them all. One Sunday afternoon whilst listening to Bob Dylan, Blood on the Tracks album.

Yep, I destroyed them. I ripped them all up. Yeah.

So I wish I hadn't. Because I'd love to be able to read it out to you now. Not right now.

But, you know, in these recordings. So well, today, I'm going to go back to the 14th of March, 1994. And what was I doing? Let's have a look what I was, let's see what was on my mind.

And I can read it out. And it'll just be like, I don't know, it'd be cool. But it's gone.

I mean, that stuff was destroyed. But now I've got, I don't know how many episodes of this podcast there are. 500 and something.

And I wonder, let me just check. 500. Is it 528? Maybe? I don't know.

I don't know. Let's have a look. That was 5902.

Oh, why do you keep doing that to me? 5713. Why am I looking at relaxation? I can't see anything with these glasses on when I'm looking at the phone. Let me bore you to sleep.

Yeah, 529. So this is number 530. And I've had 197,073 downloads so far in two years on this podcast.

One day I'm going to go through and add up from all the other podcasts that I put this on to at least three that I share this thing on. I'll be interested. It's gonna be more than 200,000.

Very much more in the stream of, well, probably more like 400,000, but at least 350,000 in two years. So that's quite cool. It's cool for me because it's all I think about.

It's all I've got. Don't you know? It's all I've got. I think it might be lack of, I think there's a little bit of a lack of human contact is, I think it's started to, it might be starting to affect me.

All these years I've been thinking I don't need, don't need to be around anyone. But I think I might need a girlfriend or want a girlfriend and need a girlfriend. But companionship, I guess, love and all that stuff.

And it's part of me thinks it's pathetic for me, for my, you know, for me to feel that way, not for others to feel that way. It's like, well, you know, I think I'm just being ridiculous. And then I think about it like logically.

And then I look around and people are together, men and women, men and men, women and women, you know, people or parents and children, children looking after their parents in old age or in sickness, parents looking after their children. In their thirties, because they can't afford to actually move out of home. Whatever it's like, it's people together.

And maybe I'm missing out. I don't know. The idea of living with someone terrifies me.

It does. I feel, I don't know if I could do it. But I think it would definitely be nice to have somebody who I saw regularly and baited at least to build up to that, you know, maybe living together situation.

I'm always quite like the idea of, okay, this is going back quite a few years, by the way, this is before Su Ling or whatever her name is. But I like the idea of Woody Allen's lifestyle. As I said, I'm talking about the early 90s when, or even late 80s, early 90s, and he used to live with, was it Farrah Fawcett Majors or someone who he used to act with? I think she was his muse actually, because she was in a lot of his films.

But anyway, he lived one side of the park. I don't know what park it's called. Central Park, I think he lived one side of Central Park and his wife lived the other side.

So Pamela Anderson or whatever her name was lived the other side. And they had a happy marriage because they could both visit each other. It was a walk through the park, literally.

Have a relationship as a walk in the park. But they also had their own space. So yeah, that looks like it'd be quite nice.

I'm not saying I want to date Woody Allen. I'm not saying that I'm looking for a relationship with him. If you listen to this, I think you are a genius, comedy genius.

And I've got no interest in your personal life. Don't care. None of my business.

You're an absolute comedy genius. Don't want to live with you. I'm sure you feel the same.

I think because you probably know I'm quite into the old stand-up comedy thing. I used to have Woody Allen's comedy tapes and I got them, it was over 30 years ago now, 30 years ago. And I think they were from the 60s.

So it was before he became famous. He might have been famous as a stand-up. I don't know.

I don't know that much about his situation. I know that he was a writer on some of the big, big comedy shows in America, long before he became famous himself. But his stand-up was brilliant.

Honestly, if you, you know, if you ever fancy listening, I think you can probably listen on YouTube, just putting Woody Allen early stand-up. And it'll probably be, there might be a video of it. I don't, I don't know.

If it is, it'll be in black and white. But you'll probably find an album of his, but it'll just be a static picture with the audio only. That's very funny.

Very original, very original. And there's the famous Moose sketch. Yeah.

So in a way, some of his stuff is very similar to Rodney Dangerfield, but delivered in a completely different way. So it's self depreciating, but delivered in a very, you can get two vastly different, you know, versions of stand-up comedians. Because Woody Allen's standing there, he's all quiet and timid, very, you know, intellectual.

And Rodney Dangerfield would be standing there sweating and talking a thousand miles an hour. No respect for him, no respect. So, so I reached the two million mark.

So that's good. So next year, based on the stats, the monthly stats now, I'm heading for, yeah, at least two million a year for next year. But I reckon as it keeps growing, I probably end up doing, I reckon at least three million next year.

So by the end of next year, I'll have reached the 5,000 million, 5,000 million, the five million mark for the podcast in the next year. And then, yeah, I suppose the following year, I'll probably do about five, five million, which means I'll give me 10 million altogether. So in two years time, I should put out about 10 million downloads.

So that's pretty cool, isn't it? Yeah. 10 million. I wonder what would be a really good number.

So 10 million. I know what I want daily. So I want to hit the 10,000 daily.

Then I want to work my way up. So 20, you know, 20,000, 30, 50, and to 100,000 a day. And then I want to work my way up to a million a day.

So I'd be pleased. I'd be pleased on any of those numbers. I'd be pleased on 10,000 a day now.

But eventually, I think a million a day, 365 million downloads a year. I'd be quite pleased with that, you know? Yeah, I would. That's a nice, just sounds like a nice number.

I like the, I like the sound of a million. A million just sounds, it's nice. You know what I mean? You get me? Yeah.

A nice million. So that's, that's what I'm planning. I'm not planning, that's just what's, that's why I'm aiming.

So if I can get 10 million in two years, and then third year, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

But I'm looking forward to getting the 10,000 a day, regularly, where it doesn't, for me, the regularly is, it never goes below 10,000. Or if it does, it's very rare. So the average is going to be more than 10,000.

Which I suppose, I mean, that'd be what, 300,000 downloads a month. Roughly. Or 3,650,000 a year.

Yeah, well, is that right? Yeah, that would be right. 3,650,000. So yeah, it'd be good a little bit to get the 100,000.

Oh, that'd be so juicy. Be like a nice, juicy flapjack. I don't know.

That's the opposite, isn't it? Flapjacks aren't juicy, are they? What's something juicy? I'll tell you something. If I ever get given or told, oh, you've only got a certain amount of time. You know, I'm going to go to America and I'm going to eat and eat and eat.

I want to go and eat some of that lovely American food. So watch the programs on telly and some of that stuff. It looks so nice.

Just proper. It's not the quantity I don't eat a lot, ever. But it's the variety that I like.

I like the idea of such a variety of different foods. And, you know, let's face it, each food, the more variety of foods you eat, the more variety of farts you can provide. That seems like a very positive thing to end the recording on.

Of course, I don't do such things. Andre is the gas supplier around here. So I want to go.

Thank you for listening. Thank you for supporting me and getting me to a two million in less than two years. Two million downloads.

And here's to I guess here's to the next million, I suppose. But that'll be here before we know it. That'll be here.

What's it? Yeah, that'll probably be by April. Probably be on three million by April, which isn't that far away. You know, it's the end of October, Debbie.

So lots of love. Speak to you soon. And remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy.

Bye.