#501 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to let me bore you to sleep. My name is Jason Nguyen and please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. So this is, if I'm correct, let me just check, this is episode 501.

No, really? Yeah, 501. Wow. Wow, that's all I'm saying.

It's like a proper wow. That's a lot. Even for me, that's a lot.

Wow, that is, that is a lot of, oh, my tummy's doing a tummy tum tum. That is quite a lot. So there's 500, there's actually 512 recordings on the let me bore you to sleep podcast.

However, 12 of those are, there's a couple of songs and there's a few of my Jason's bedtime stories, not bedtime, Jason's bedtime story time, which I will be doing more of soon, which is good. So hey, hope you're well. And I'm recording this at 3.31 in the afternoon on Wednesday the 23rd of September 2020.

So yeah, I don't know what else to say. What else? What do I normally talk about? You'd think, wouldn't you? After 500 recordings, I'd kind of have something. Unless of course I've run out.

I might have run out. I'm drinking diet Pepsi. There you go.

So look, I'm gonna do I've got I ordered me shopping. I ordered me shopping. What's that? Okay.

I've got a delivery tomorrow. And just have a look. Don't tell me what my order is.

Okay. It comes to 100 and 100 and I think it's 149 pound. Not tomorrow, Thursday.

Yeah, I think it's about 149 pound. Wow. So here's what I've ordered.

Two kingsmore medium sliced 5050 bread, 800 grams. So two slices, two slices, two slices of bread, two breads, one pack of cheese, British medium cheddar cheese slices. It's quite a big pack.

There's enough for a week. One pack of Mars bar ice creams, or Mars ice creams. It's four in a pack.

That's my little treat. I've got some bananas, fair trade. There's eight of them.

I've got five Cravendale pure filter, semi skimmed milk. The good thing about Cravendale is it lasts the bottles basically that will last me a whole week, those five. And my tummy's making weird rumbly noises for some reason.

Which means I don't have to go to the garage or the shop. Which is good. I've got four Warburton tea cakes times by four.

So I can have my nice daily treat of two tea cakes. It's just like a daily thing I quite like to do. And there's enough there.

What is it? Eight days worth. So what I'll do is I'll leave two out and put two in the freezer. So yeah, that's good.

So I've got, so I'll leave two out, two packs. So one for Thursday, one for Friday, Saturday, Sunday. That'll be the ones that are out.

And then Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday will be the ones in the freezer. So that's good. I've got one pack of Coke, Coca Cola original taste, 24 cans.

Now, it's not a lot. It's just for the week. It's not.

I'm trying to cut down. I've got this diet Pepsi stuff I'm drinking. But, you know, I am exercising now.

So just sense of love. Don't judge me, man. Don't judge me.

Just love me. That was at Michael Jackson. Before you judge me, try to love me.

Something like that. I've got a Twix chocolate biscuit finger multi-pack nine. Now I have not eaten the multi-pack of Twix's that I bought last week.

So I'll have one a day. It's tiny little Twix. It's not, you know, I'm not sitting here gorging on chocolate all day.

I'm not. Honestly, I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. Not all day. I'm not.

I don't. I don't. I've got two.

This is bad. All the chocolate stuff is at the top of the list. It sounds like it's all I'm eating is chocolate.

I'm not. I've got food in the freezer. I've still got some stuff in the fridge from last week that I've not eaten yet.

I've still got eggs. I've still got cheese. I've still got, you know, beans and stuff like that.

Pasta. Rice, I think, as well. Anyway, so I've got two Cadbury dairy milk button chocolate desserts.

They were half price. Oh, come on. You'd do the same.

You would. Don't lie. They were half price.

You'd think to yourself, oh, maybe I'll have them. They're half price. So, you know, that's four days where I can have a nice little chocolate treat.

What about the Twixies? It's regardless. It's not about Twixies. It's not about evil or... It's about being kind to yourself.

Well, a middle-aged man eating chocolate and stuff full of sugar, it's probably not... It's more harmful, isn't it? It's not really being kind to yourself. It's causing you physical harm and... Yeah, I know, I know, I know. But I'm exercising.

I'll tell you about that in a minute. And it counts for something. Come on, I'm here on my own, apart from with my little boy, Andre, and he's been having some fruity lately.

He's been fighting with me and full of energy. So I think it might be the changing of the seasons. And now it's a bit cooler.

He prefers it when it's cooler. Not when it's cold, but he has a bit more energy when it's sort of probably this time of the year. And so I've got some Alpine muesli, original muesli, 1.1 kilograms.

So that's a whole week worth of muesli. That should be enough for the whole week. I've still got a fair amount left anyway for muesli.

And I've still got a bit of Weetabix left as well. So now here is the stuff that I have ordered to stock up because I've stocked up with a few bits, but I want to get enough stuff in to last me till Christmas. So I've got 10 Listerine mouthwashes.

It's the Listerine Stay White Mouthwash Arctic Mint, 500 milliliters. So it's 10 of those. I've also ordered 10 Sainsbury's Super Soft Flushable Moist Toilet Tissues, and they're 4 times 40 wipes.

I don't like that. I don't like to say the word wipes. It's weird, isn't it? Because I just think of wiping.

Bad visual, bad visual. Eliminate that visual image from my brain forever. 10 Sainsbury's Super Soft Flushable Moist Toilet Tissues, and there's 4 in a pack.

So that's 40 packs. So that should last me till Christmas as well. 10x Anivia Gentle Cleansing Face Wipes.

So when I first wake up in the morning, I use a face wipe for my face to clean my face. And before I go to bed, I also use one to clean my face as well. Now, I know I'm not wearing makeup or anything, but I'm trying to do the best with what I've got.

You know, you only have one face, unless of course you're two-faced. So I, hopefully that should be enough to keep me going. I've still got three packs, but you know, they're 25 in a pack.

I use up two a day. So that's what, 14 a week, 10, 20, 10, 20, 8. So it's every two weeks, I'm using up more than one pack. So that's coming, 10 of those.

I'm hoping that it'll all come, but you know, the last two weeks, I've been trying to get toilet tissue wipe things, and they haven't had any in the supermarket, two weeks in a row. In fact, they tried to give me these, I'm not quite sure, it might be my ear oil or their ear oil, but tried to give me these little boxes of toilet paper, but little, almost like little, I don't know if I made a weird noise, almost like little tissue packs, but for bum wiping. And I just can't, what? Why, why? I suppose as a travel pack, yeah, fair enough.

Probably really handy to have them as a little travel thing, but I don't travel, I don't travel. So I've got that cleaned and wiped. I've got 10 times Buxton still water, minimal water, still natural, minimal water, six times 1.5 liter.

So there's six in a pack and there's 10 packs, so that'll be 60 bottles of water. Again, including what I've already got, I've still got, I think, three packs here, so it should keep me going till Christmas, pretty much, hopefully. I've got one, I've also got some stuff here.

I've got one packet of 2.5 kilograms Sainsbury's Maris Piper potatoes. So I need some potatoes because the ones I've got, I've not used. I mean, all week I've just been eating sandwiches, I've not cooked at all.

But next week or this coming week, I'm going to try and put a bit of an effort in. I've got, I've got 10 times Heinz baked beans packs of three, they're the little pack, little tins. I only use one little tin per serving.

So it's basically 30 meals. Not that I just eat beans on my own, but I've always, my whole adult, well, probably including my childhood, baked beans has been a staple. I mean, you could, you could connect that with some of the noises that come out of my body, but ultimately, there's 10 times Heinz baked beans packs of three, the little packs and perfect for me.

And I've got one pack of, I can't believe it's not butter, original spread, five grams, 500 grams. And it's not showing the total cost, but I think it's about £149. So that's just less for me.

I'll get that on Thursday, which means it's less stuff to buy in the future. So the, I won't be able to buy any food the following week because I'll have spent too much this week. So I won't have any, I won't be able to buy anything next week.

But two weeks later, when I get paid, I will probably look to get some breakfast cereal, get enough to keep me going until Christmas. And then, I'm not sure if there's anything else I kind of really need to bulk up on, should kind of be covered. Oh, I need some black bags, some bin bags.

So I probably need to get about 10, 10, 10 lots of those. That'll keep me going for a while. Can you hear that noise? Shouting in the garden.

I think with the, when I wear these headphones, I'll pick up more sound than I would do if I was not wearing the headphones. And I don't know how much of that is being recorded, but it's being picked up because I'm hearing it, I guess through the microphone. But then when I move the headphones like this, really seems to make a lot of noise.

But I don't tend to hear it so much on the recording. That might just be because it's near my ear. Yeah, I suppose.

It's been really raining today. Oh, my tummy made a tummy noise. So I don't know what else I need to get.

Not for Christmas itself, but just to make sure that I've got enough so I don't have to go out. And I need clothes. You know, I need socks, underpants, just basic stuff like t-shirts.

I might maybe look at getting that from the catalog or something. And I don't know what else I really need, need, need, need, you know, there's the ongoing food, obviously. And there's no point having all those wet wipes if I'm not.

So I need to eat but what other things? Yeah, I'm not sure. Just trying to think of what else. I've probably got enough deodorant to keep me going until Christmas, but maybe I'll get like 10 cans of that to top up.

Shampoo, I've got enough because I haven't got much hair to shampoo. And but I could probably perhaps do again 10, 10 of them. So 10 shampoo, 10 deodorant.

I've got enough soap for now. Enough toothpaste. Yes, I think I've got enough.

Oh, moisturizer. I need to get some moisturizer. And yeah, that's it.

So maybe, oh, squeaky chair. So get some of that. So hopefully by the by October, by the end of October, I should have everything I need apart from food, you know, to keep me going to the end of the year.

And maybe into the first month of the year. So that's nice. I like, I mean, this isn't something I've done this year because of, you know, lockdown and stuff like that has happened in 2020.

It's something I've been doing since I lived here, because I have the space to stock stuff. So, you know, for example, a few years ago, I got enough food for Andre to last a whole year. I just put it in the cupboard and there was loads of it, but it was there was enough to last him the whole year was all in date.

So check that first. And that's another thing I'm probably going to need to go and do get more order. Yeah, I need to order some more food for him because that's, he's been eating more.

The thing he does now is he lets me know when he wants me to put more food in his bowl. He just like bangs his bowl. And it's twice, twice a day.

So it could be any time of the night or day, just whenever he's hungry. So that's what he does. He just stands there over it.

And if I don't see him, or if I'm standing up, he'll keep looking up at me. I'm looking down at the bowl, looking up, look down the bowl. And if I kind of ignore him, and then they start pushing the bowl and banging it.

Sometimes he's happy to eat the dry food. He does eat the dry food, but he doesn't eat the dry food. But sometimes, you know, it's okay.

But he prefers the wet food with the gravy and the meat and stuff. So he prefers that. But he also likes the dry food.

You know, I know he eats it because he goes through it. You know, I bought two big bags of it a while back. And he's through half of one of those bags already.

So it's just a matter of time, he'll get through that. Yeah, I reckon he'll have eaten all the dry food by November. So it'd be good to have maybe get enough dry food.

And it's expensive as well. It's expensive, about £10. £9.97 or something like that for the big bag.

And so what I do is, it lasts a while, you know. That's the thing, keeping animals like a cat or I'd say even a dog, like if it's just like a normal sized dog, it's not expensive really. Unless of course, you know, vet bills and stuff like that, of course.

But the actual or cleaning carpet bills. I mean, Andre's cost me £140 to buy or £280 because I've had two carpet cleaners. And I wouldn't need them if it wasn't for him.

The first one broke, but that was because I wasn't using it properly. And apparently you can't use it to mow the lawn. So that broke, the motor broke on that one.

Now I know how to use it and I'm really careful with the new one. But yeah, trying to think what else. Yeah, no, it's all good.

It's all groovy. Very much so. I made a recording earlier, but proper early, I think it was about half past six this morning.

I did a relaxation hypnosis for stress, anxiety for that podcast. And so that was good. So I'm doing this one.

And maybe I'll, I might think about trying to do a bedtime story time because I didn't realise that that podcast is getting listens. I am not promoting it or anything, but it's just getting people are finding it. So what I might do is look at maybe doing more regular recordings, but I'm going to have to find a way to read.

I know how to read, but a way to read the story because I'm using the iPad to record this. The iPhone is way too small for my eyes to be reading a book. I can read stuff, you know, I can Google stuff and read stuff on Wikipedia, but reading a book, let's have a look, see if it's possible.

I know it's possible to get stuff on there, but you know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? Okay. Okay, let's not use outer copyright. Let's use, what's the word? It's another word that kind of means the same thing.

Open use or something. Anyway, I'll just, out of copyright. Children's books.

Some of them are just a bit, a little bit rubbish. I don't mean it horribly, but they're just like really, really, really old books. And they're nothing like the more updated versions.

But I don't want to, I don't want to read stuff that's against the law for me to read, you know what I mean? I don't want to, I want to make sure that I'm kind of doing everything properly. Okay. freekidsbooks.org, so I found one.

Come on. Wow, what's all that noise? I don't know what it was. I sound like a giant walking up the stairs.

List of public domain. There's lots. So five children books in a public domain, you might not know.

So let's have a look. More bedtime stories. That's one.

The Princess and the Goblin. Oh, that sounds good. The Branch Witch.

Or the Blue Giant. Is that right? A Christmas Hamper. Full of pictures and tales.

The Princess and Curdie. The Other Side of the Sun. Okay, so there's links here.

So there's more bedtime stories. The Princess and the Goblin. A Christmas Hamper.

The Princess and Curdie. The Other Side of the Sun. So let's have a look at the Princess.

This is Gutenberg. Oh, this is okay, actually. I don't remember seeing this.

So it should give me the opportunity to read the book online, rather than sort of downloading it. Mind you, if I do it Kindle with images. No, I'll just do it online.

It's easier. Wow. Very small writing, but if I turn it sideways.

Just, it's possible. Let's see if I can just read a little bit, see if it works. So if you're listening to this, I'm going to read The Princess and the Goblin.

So I wonder how long it lasts. Wow, it's a long one. Not something you hear me say very often.

One is banging outside now. It might actually be the council about to cut the lawn, but they don't normally do it this late in the afternoon. If they do do it, I might just leave the recording on so you can hear it.

And I can't be bothered to read that book. Because it's ever so long, plus the writing's too small. It's too small for me to read.

I mean, you know, I can read short articles, maybe news articles, things like that off the phone. And part of the reason I've got that phone is so that I can use it while I'm making this podcast. So I can read out messages and, you know, that kind of stuff.

Say hello to people that said hello to me. Which makes me remember that I'm going to do that now. Now, let me have a look.

Have I got any messages? Oh. So I just want to say a big hi to Lilith. And so one notification, there's no messages.

I haven't had many messages lately. Have you all stopped loving me? Oh, the schools are back. There's a school near where I live.

They're noisier than they've ever been. Even my neighbor said, they're never that noisy. It's, I don't know if it's the excitement of being back after all of the sort of delay.

Because part of the school was shut for months. I think they only allowed two years in. And the rest were, didn't go in at all.

I think they're all back. They're all back. So it's like full.

And they're possibly just really, really excited to be back. And I suppose for some of them, they're getting to see friends that I haven't seen for nearly a year. Or since the spring.

Because, you know, not everybody lives near their school. I don't know. Maybe they do.

They might all live near this. They might live in the school. I don't know.

But yeah, they've definitely, they've upped the volume. Yeah. Mind you, I've not heard the yapper.

There's a person that takes their dog. Since I've been living here, they've been taking their dog to the school gates in the morning. And I think also in the afternoon when they collect them.

And there's like barking, yap, yap, yap, yap, constantly for about 20 minutes. And I realized that if they were doing that five years ago, then whichever child they were picking up should have moved to the next school by now. Because they're not there for five years.

So I started thinking, why are they still there then? Maybe they're not there to collect the child. Maybe they're just going there to talk to their friends. Maybe there's a grandparent and there's more than one child.

So there might be another 15 grandchildren all about to go there. So between now and when I hit 70, I might still be hearing that. That's what it sounds like from a distance.

Imagine taking a dog to a public place just to let it bark loudly at quarter to nine in the morning. I don't know what that's about. Oh, exercise.

Well, I've decided to do some weights again. I've got my weights here and nothing fancy. But I've got a sit up bench, I've got my punch bag and I've got some weights.

And because of my back, I've been having problems with my back more and more. And since I did weights the other night, my back's not hurt at all. So this is something I need to really look at doing more.

And I walked to the shop yesterday and normally if I walk even a short distance, it normally irritates my back. Nothing. So that's really cool.

I kind of knew that already a little bit, but I've just been lazy. So what I've got a new thing doing, I hope that's not a recorder. I don't mean a digital recorder.

I'm talking about a whistly recorder. I think it is. Oh, no.

I think one of the neighbors has got a kid practicing the recorder. I know. I mean, the other day, I think it was two days ago, they were having music lessons.

Oh, never heard anything like it. It was, it sounded like a bunch of squirrels got hold of some bins and just decided just to headbutt the bins. So you had the beat and then the screams, like, ow, ow, ow.

And it was just, at one point, I did a really, really, really loud fart. At least I thought I had, but then I realized it wasn't. It was just another instrument was being introduced into the choir.

Oh, man, it was bad. It was really like just noise. Dear Jason, I feel very, being very cruel towards the young children of today.

You can't suddenly become really good at a musical instrument. It takes practice. And I think you should give them some respect and maybe shine some of that kindness that you keep telling other people to have towards themselves.

Maybe shining that towards other people instead of being so judgmental. Yeah, but you didn't hear it. Really.

Honestly, it's, yeah, it was, it was, but no, it was good. It's good. I've, I used to play instruments and I used to sound awful when I did it.

I know that. But that was part of the reason I did it. Because I knew that it was annoying my family.

I knew it was disturbing them. So, especially if I knew, you know, my brother, he's like, oh, I'm so tired. I've been up so early since this morning.

So I had to do the paper round and I had to start extra early. And then I had to do tonight's paper round because the person couldn't turn up. I need to go for a nap.

So I'd wait till he'd gone for a nap. That's when I got the trumpet out. Or the violin.

Oh, the smile on my face. It was brilliant. It's one of the things that really made it worth a while.

Oh, you really sound like a horrible child. Thank you. Thank you.

No, just an average, just a standard kid, I think. No, you really sounded a bit bitter and cruel. Bitter? Don't call me bitter.

No, I don't know why. I think what it was, in all seriousness, let's be serious here. I think what it was is I wanted to be good at something.

I just wasn't. I just wasn't any good at anything. But it didn't stop me trying.

So I think if nothing else, I'm a trier. I don't give up. I wanted to find something that I could do, that I was competent at, that I actually could, if not be the best, at least be okay at, you know? It makes sense to me.

I think I was trying to do that. So I tried different musical instruments. I tried getting into astronomy.

I read books I wasn't interested in. I went to the Sea Cadets when I wasn't interested in going to the Sea Cadets. What other things did I do that I wasn't interested in? I spent time with a family.

Yeah, I did lots of things that I just really didn't want to do that bored me. And the only time I was really interested in anything was, apart from probably playing with my friends and, you know, just being a kid. I used to love watching telly, preferably on my own.

You know, my favorite time would be after school. If no one else was around, I'd be watching TV and everyone else, because my brothers were older than me, so they was doing their own thing. And I liked that, when I could just be on my own, watch the telly.

I didn't have any dinner. And I loved reading. I used to go to the library probably a few times a week, get a book.

I used to love new books. Fresh, new, the smell. And, you know, there'd be a whole children's section and I'd buy, I'd rent the books out, or borrow the books rather, from the children's section.

But I'd also delve into other areas as well. I'd have a look at other books as well. And I'd borrow books on astronomy.

And even though I didn't know really what I was reading, but I did it anyway. And I used to love borrowing brand new books. To be the first person to have the date stamped into it, when it had to be returned.

Oh, it felt nice. And then I'd return it maybe the next day after I'd read the book or a couple of days later. And I'd go through phases.

And I think there was a phase I went through where I was reading, I think I was buying them, but I might have borrowed them from the library, Star Trek books based on the original series. You know, Captain, you know, Mr. Spock, Captain Kirk, you know that lot. And I used to read them literally, I'd read nearly a book a day.

Just be absolutely transfixed by the book more than the TV show. I enjoyed reading it rather than watching the TV show. And I liked watching the TV show.

But for some reason, I got really caught up in it. I'm pretty sure I went through a phase where I was reading cowboy books as well. You know, the old Pulp Fiction books.

And that's, you know, I didn't know really what Pulp Fiction meant. The movie came out in what, 94? I didn't know what Pulp Fiction. I thought, oh, someone said that it was about novels.

Oh, so it's, well, but yeah, it was just basically really, really, really cheap novels written on, I guess, recycled paper, like old pulp, pulp paper. I mean, it didn't used to be called recycled back then. But it'd be, I guess it, the pulp paper would be the paper that's been other books that maybe were not successful from the big printers would just be pulped down.

I sound like I know what I'm talking about. I remember at school, I think it was a school watching a documentary about a pulping factory and going through the whole process of what they do. So they're pulping paper, pulping, pulping paper, paper pulping.

And it used to be lots of different types of books. I mean, there was detective novels, and there was westerns and romance, that kind of stuff. And they were just cheap books.

But the writers were, I don't know if they got paid much money, but they were proper writers, you know, they were just, but they'd like be banging out book after book after book. And the books would be sold for like 5 cents or something in America, but millions would get sold. They were really, really popular.

And they're the kind of books that sort of I used to like reading for a while. And I still kind of quite like the idea of reading some now. I mean, I'm not right now, I'm, you know, busy.

Not this very second. And how rude would that be of me if I just stopped talking and all you could hear was pages turning. Another thing I got into is science fiction, proper hardcore science fiction.

And I used to buy these books, I used to buy books, I had quite a big book collection, but then I'd get rid of them and I get more books, you know, because there wasn't enough room really in my bedroom for too many. And plus the shelf kept collapsing because the books were too heavy. But I had a lot of these science fiction books, and they were a little bit naughty, if you know what I mean.

They were adult. So if there'd have been a movie, well, in fact, you wouldn't have had that stuff in a movie. It wouldn't have been allowed.

I liked it. It's weird. It's really, I suppose I was a teenager.

And I really appreciated being able to read that stuff because it was like, wow, never read anything like that in my life. It was just so mind opening in a way, very creative, also just funny. And so I went through a little phase when I used to read those books.

I went through a phase when I was really, really into, well, it's not really a phase, I've always been into comedies, but I used to read a book by, what's his name? He wrote the Wilk books, Tom something. Oh, so funny. I used to laugh, proper laugh out loud reading those books.

And I don't know what year of my life I was reading those, but probably 14, 13, 14. And I was trying to think as I got into later years, I got very, probably the only two types of books, I was really into books of the occult, anything to do with supernatural stuff. I loved and I was buying those books, those kind of books.

But mostly from specialist shops and I could only get them in magazines. So I'd be sending, I think I used to give my step mum, I think you could send money in the post, but it's generally, I'd give her, I'd get a check from her, I'd give her the cash and I'd get a check sent. And I had a really good collection of books.

I haven't got them now, but they were really pretty special, pretty, yeah, good collection. So I was really into that. And then that's kind of around the same time because when I got into karate, I bought everything that I could to do martial arts, everything that I could afford.

And I always had to part-time jobs from the age of like 12, I think. So I always had, if I had more money then than I do now, it's like I would buy stuff for myself. And the good thing about that is you're not relying on other people to buy it for you.

Not waiting for someone to buy me something for Christmas that I want. I don't need to do that, just buy it myself. So that's what I did.

I'd still get good stuff at Christmas because my dad and his wife were always really generous at Christmas. That's it, Andre, do it on the carpet. Good boy.

There's no need to do it on the paper, is there? No, of course not. Why would you want to do that? That's it. Make sure you tread in a piece of poo.

That's, oh, good boy. All right, I'm sorry. I'm not bitter.

Don't call me bitter. And so I was buying magazines, martial arts magazines, anything to do with Bruce Lee. I was pretty much the, I guess really, I was the standard martial arts person, child that did, I did exactly the same as what everyone else did.

I've watched every martial arts movie and became completely, Andre, shush, completely obsessed with everything martial arts. Just trying to find something I was good at. Anyway, that's the end of this recording.

So thank you very much for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy. Do something nice for yourself today.

Lots of love. Bye.