#510 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is let me bore you to sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Thank you.

Thank you very much. That's it. That is most of what I've got to say.

Oh, that's weird. So I've made a few changes today. And the basically, basically, what I've done is this.

I have. Are you ready for this? Are you ready? Well, I've made some changes. If you go to my website, you'll see that.

Let me guide you through it. Okay, click on jasonnewland.com. It's a new banner. It's a new banner at the top.

It's not a big banner, but it's, you know, it's readable. And it's nice. Yeah, it's an okay banner.

jasonnewland.com. Millions of downloads. And there's, oh, what does that say? There's a couple of hands pointing a couple of things. One is no ads.

No ads. And the other one is to my PayPal. PayPal.me forward slash Jason Newland.

And if you click on that logo, it takes you to the PayPal account. Wow, that's good. No, I can't.

How do I get out of that? That's okay. Cancel. Go away.

I'm stuck in there now. I don't want to be in there. Okay, right, I'm back on my website.

Jason Newland. Thousands of hypnosis mp3s. Download and stream free.

Then this is the homepage. This is the first page. I'm looking at my phone.

So it works. It works on everything really. iPhone works on what they call Android.

It works on tablets. It works on laptops, PCs, everything. Yeah, so what I've got is first of all, all podcasts.

So there's a list of all my podcasts, which you can click on. So Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Deep sleep, whisper hypnosis, relaxation hypnosis for stress, anxiety, and panic attacks.

Sleep hypnosis weekly. Sleep insomnia hypnosis, self-help hypnosis, relaxation hypnosis, chronic pain hypnosis, hypnosis, 28 days stop smoking course, 30 day relaxation plan, seven day cure insomnia, fall asleep counting sheep. That's catchy.

Healing words and hypnotic buffet. There's a couple to add, but that's kind of most of them. And each of them you can click and it will take you to that podcast.

So for example, Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Let me see what that does. So you click on that and it takes you to a page which says, Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcast, no ads and continuous play.

Oh, cool. So basically, it's a playlist and you can just click on whatever you want to play. Click on the latest one if you want.

Or you can scroll down and keep scrolling down. It takes a few seconds to sort of, you know, it's going down to 400. Now scroll down again to 375.

Scroll down again to 325. Because there's so many, it takes a little while to, you know, have to keep scrolling if you want to get down to the number 22 or 203. Let's have a look.

203. There we go. So if I click on number 203, that was 23rd of August, 2019.

So you can click on the little eye, little round gray circle with an eye in it. For information, you can just click on that and it tells you the name of the podcast and any other information that I might have included. So for example, yesterday's was, let me boy to sleep 509, getting told I was scruffy.

And that was the 2nd of October 2020. So that was yesterday's recording. Yeah, so you can play, you can like it, you can share it, you can download it off of the playlist.

So then I'll go back to the homepage, Deep Sleep Whisperer. Oh, again, another one. So it's 277 episodes, although it's 272.

But some I've got, you know, with music, so there's a few more. And 113 hours and 11 minutes worth of that one. Let me boy to sleep.

604 hours and 32 minutes. It's a relaxation hypnosis for stress. Again, another playlist.

298 episodes. And it's got lots of different stuff on there. And 213 hours worth of relaxation and stuff like that.

Sleep hypnosis weekly, 55 hours and 36 minutes. 71 episodes. So yeah, so when you're on the phone, the three lines is it right at the top underneath the Jason Newland, thousands of hypnosis, MP3, blah, blah.

There's three lines, you know, diagonal, I think. Horizontal, no, horizontal. Three lines in a row, going downwards.

You just click on that and it gives you the menu. So all of those podcasts are listed in the menu. So the first thing you've got Home, which is the main page.

Then you've got PayPal, which takes you to my PayPal page. Oh God, that's so annoying. Take me back.

I want to go back to... Cancel. I don't want that. Cancel.

Right. Okay. That's a bit annoying.

Right. Okay, I'm back. So then you've got my wishlist, which is my Amazon wishlist.

And under that, it's just got Jason's wishlist. So it takes you to the wishlist page on Amazon. My name is Jason.

This is my wishlist. Thanks. Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.

And basically, it's a bunch of books that are on my list of books to get. So if you would like to gift me a book, please go click on Jason's wishlist. It's all hypnosis stuff.

It's all books, scripts and ideas. And just to help me to improve what I do. So yeah, so that's it.

I don't know how many books. There's quite a few on there. But yeah, anything you'd like, if you'd like to gift me.

And once you purchase it for me, it gets sent to my address. You don't need to have my address or anything. And it will be removed from the list as well.

Which means it can't be purchased twice. Yeah, so that's cool. So thank you.

If you'd like to do that. And I'll go back to my website. So reviews is the next one.

That's the next thing in the menu. I've got 23 reviews. So if you'd like to leave a nice review, that'd be groovy.

Now go to contact. There's a contact form. Name, email, phone number, message.

In all fairness, you don't need to... None of that stuff. You can put in whatever you want. And it's not gonna make any difference.

It'll still get sent. So just this is the message really you can put in. You can put your phone number in if you want.

But you can just put in 773456745 or whatever. Email address again. You can put in anything.

And your name. Ideally put in your real name. Or your first name at least.

So I know who sent it. And that is it as far as the website goes. So I'll come out of there.

On the very first page, under all podcasts. So there's the podcast. Scrolling down a little bit.

Not far. You'll see the latest recordings. And there's a playlist with all the latest stuff that I've got.

And 741 episodes on there. Of course, that's not all of my recordings. But it's the most.

It's the latest 741, which is still quite a lot. 654 hours worth in 56 minutes. So kind of everything you need in one place, in a sense, regarding me.

About my stuff. So I hope that's useful. You can download everything from the playlist.

You don't need a separate download link. You don't need to put in any information about yourself. None of that stuff.

You can just download it. It's all free. And it's also advert free.

There's no adverts at all. So yeah, so that's back to how it was. Yeah, cool.

So I click on that number 190. Okay, 190. So I'm just looking at just seeing.

Yeah. So basically, in the playlist, you click on play. And then the actual episode you're playing goes to the top of the playlist, which then gives you the opportunity to download it.

So what I'm going to do, I'm going to download this now, as I speak. So it comes do you want to download 190 relaxation hypnosis for stress blah, blah, blah. 30th September MP3 download.

So now, if I go to my files, it's now in the process of being downloaded. It's 50% downloaded 60% now 65 70. So then that will be saved on your phone on your laptop on your PC, wherever your files are saved.

And okay, so it's, although it's not downloading, I think with mine, it gets saved to the yeah, I think it's saved to the cloud. I'm a little bit unsure how it all works. But it's I think it's saved into the cloud as well.

As being on my phone. So I'm just going to look 91. So for example, yesterday's let me boy to sleep was 177.8 megabytes.

I mean, it's quite long. Hour or whatever. It's because it's been edited and it's had mastering done.

So that's why it's a little bit more the original on it. The original unedited version was 94.1 megabytes. But that's before I did the mastering on it, and made changes and stuff.

So ends up being 177.8 megabytes. But there are ways of reducing the size. In fact, once it's actually done.

Let's have a look. Once it's actually done. Where is it? Where are you? There you are.

It might. Yeah, that's how much it is when I upload it. But when you download it, it might have been processed.

So let's see. Let me check it out. I want to check it out and see whether it's less.

So number 509. So let's go back. Let's go back to, let's go back to home.

509. So I'm going to download that. And I want to see what the, what the total download size is compared to the one I uploaded.

Because I think they do reduce it because it gets processed and it's, I think the file is reduced. But I won't know until, I'll know in a minute. It won't take long.

So it's now uploading as we speak. So according to this, there's 57%, 50, 55 megabytes left to upload, or to download rather. It's not uploading, it's downloading.

But then is it uploading to the, to the cloud? Should I know all about that stuff? I could find out. I could just google it and find out. But all I know is the phone and the iPad connected.

And whatever I upload or download is the same on both. So, which means it's on the cloud. That's the only way they could really be connected that way.

I think, I think. Right, it's nearly done. 16 megabytes, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0. Wow, it's a lot less.

So when I uploaded it, it was 177.8 megabytes. When I downloaded it, it's 73.4 megabytes. That's a lot of difference, isn't it? So it takes up a lot less space.

That's 73.4 megabytes for an hour of audio. This is okay. It's pretty good, I think.

It's, uh, yeah, I reckon. I wonder if I keep uploading it. If I re-upload it to that file, the 73.4, and then I download it, will it come out at being like 32 megabytes? And then I upload it again, change the file, and then when I download it, will it be, what, 14 megabytes? And keep doing that to the point where it's minus 100 megabytes.

I might do that. It's probably, maybe there's better things to do. It's got me interested now, though.

It might work. It might. So let's see if I've got any messages.

I did have a message. This is from William. I was just listening.

This is yesterday. No, today. I was just listening, and I'm tired of people complaining about the adverts.

You can through them until they get you. Okay, I'm not sure what that is. You do the best you can, but people must realize that your service isn't Burger King.

That's true. I can't argue with that. It's definitely not Burger King.

They can't have it their way. You just keep those adverts on and forget the negativity. You're an inspiration, man, and a great help.

Okay, back to being bored to sleep. Have a great day. Then it says, ignore second sentence.

Well, thank you, William. That's really cool. Thanks.

What did? Okay, so hi, Gemma again. I read that out yesterday, so I won't read it out again. I have decided.

I have decided, decided, decided, decided. Rightly or wrongly, I don't know, but I've decided. Well, there isn't any right or wrong, is there? Not really.

It's just a decision. A decision that I make, and that's it. There is no right or wrong.

It's technically no one else's business but mine, but I'm sharing it because I think it is relevant to those listening, people listening. So what I've done, here's what I did. I have, well, as I just said, I've changed my website completely.

I've got rid of every single recording that you can download, manually download, and have to put your details in to get the downloads. They're all gone. All on the website now is the playlists and the pages I've got there.

In the future, we'll see what happens, but for now, that's going to stay like that. And I have removed all of the adverts from now, from my podcasts, so you can listen continuously without any interruption. So that's done.

It is done now. Indeed. Indeedy done done.

What's the reason? Let me think. It's been bugging me. It's been bugging me for ages and ages and ages.

And I kind of, oh my gosh. Yeah. Yeah.

It's been bugging me for ages. So I thought, you know what? I'm just going to make a decision and then that's it. Done.

Move on. And that's what I've done. So for those that want to help me out and help me, you know, to cover the costs, then I am willing to accept any help that is offered very graciously, gratefully and graciously.

And I'm just going to get on with it, get on with making more recordings, get on with studying, reading more. And maybe I'd like to, I'd like to go deeper into hypnosis and studying it deeper, go, you know, really, I'm going to, I suppose the benefit, I want to make better recordings. That's what I want to do.

I want to be able to really make a difference and do the best work. I think really between 50 and 60. So the next 10 years could potentially be my best work.

Could be my most, I don't know, most creative time possibly. There's no reason why I can't continue that when I'm 60, between 60 and 70. But I'm just thinking, you know, the next 20 years is, you know, by when I'm about 68, I'll be legally allowed to retire.

So I've got a long time. There's 18 years before I can actually retire and get my pension. Now, I'm willing to, I'm willing to have no money for the next, you know, for the rest of my life.

I'm willing to do that if it means I'm helping people and I'm doing, I feel my life is worthwhile. You know, I feel there's a purpose to what I'm doing. And I guess the best way to do that is to actually be better at what I do, if that makes sense.

It kind of makes sense to me. Because I think being successful isn't, it's not about money. It can be about money.

But it's not the only thing it's about. And I'd rather, I mean, genuinely, I would rather have, I think I'd rather have a million people listening to my podcasts every day than have a million pounds in the bank. However weird that might sound, because I mean, how cool would that be to have a million? At the moment, on a really good day, I can get like 6,000 a day, down, you know, people downloading.

But to get a million a day, that's worth more than money to me. But that's just me. And there's always something about, and starting to thinking about doing this as a business, I start to get a little bit focused in a wrong way, different kind of focus to what I want to be.

So I'm very focused on doing, you know, making good podcasts, trying to reach a larger audience, trying to do everything, all the juggling that needs to be done to keep it going and to, you know, to help people. I'm just, you know, I'm trying to do that. And that sentence was so long, I've forgotten.

I've forgotten the reason I actually did the sentence. What was I talking about? Talking about helping people. There's a hero if you look inside your heart.

And it was, I can't remember. Was I showing off again? Yeah, bragging. Oh, aren't I wonderful? Look at me.

I'd like to feel wonderful. I'd like to feel that, yeah, what I'm doing really is useful. And I know that the Let Me Fall Into Sleep podcast, some people do really find it useful to fall asleep because they get bored and they fall asleep.

It does what it says on the cover, you know, it does the trick. Some people listen for entertainment. Some people listen because they like listening to me.

Some people listen because it's a distraction from their own thoughts. And this isn't me just making this stuff up. This is what I've been told.

This is, these are things that I've been, you know, other people have told me. So I, you know, I take that on board. I suppose, I know it's weird, but I'd like, I want to, as I get older, I want to be in a position where I'm not thinking or I'm not regretting the things that I didn't do, but I'm able to appreciate the things that I did do and to be able to look back on my life and think, and believe that I did something worthwhile and I made a difference.

And so, yeah, that's, I mean, some things, a lady called Brooke, a friend called Brooke said to me, she said, we were talking and she's a very successful person and she was talking about legacy. What was my legacy going to be? And I've never really thought about it. It's not something I really generally give a huge amount of thought to.

Most of my life has been take it day by day, hope for the best, you know? And even now I'm still a little bit like that. I'm not, I'm better at planning than I used to be, especially with things like toilet roll. It sounds ridiculous, but I try and learn, try and learn from previous mistakes or from situations that have arisen out of my control.

I try and learn from it. So with the the difficulty in actually getting, well, not being able to get any deliveries from the supermarket for about three months or four months earlier in the year, made me realize that I need to make sure I've got enough stuff, you know, the stuff that is not essential until you run out of it, then it is essential. Because, you know, I generally think of essential things being food, but toothpaste is essential when you run out, or toilet paper, of course, and things like that, deodorant, soap.

So, or washing up liquid, coffee, tea, sugar. Sugar is one of those, I know it kind of goes in the category of food, but it's not really, is it? It's just unhealthy. Unless you're making cakes, because sugar is really important, isn't it, for cakes.

But I don't make cakes. Although I like eating them, I really do. So when I visit you, when I do my world tour, cakes is what I want.

And it can be like a meet and greet and bring cake, that's what it's going to be. Here's the thing I shouldn't really tell you, but, well, I thought, when I used to go and see my psychologist, it used to be once a month, it used to be two every two weeks, and it became once a month, something like that. And I would weigh myself there.

And I varied between being like 98 kilos to maybe 101 kilos, 102 kilos, but averaged about 100 kilos. I used to get excited when I was 90, I think I got to 97 once. And then I went back up again.

Now, I've not weighed myself since probably February or March. And for some reason, I actually thought I might have lost some weight. I did.

I thought, oh, maybe I've lost weight. Yesterday, I went to put on my winter jacket. It's kind of my, it's not winter, but I do wear it during the winter.

It's more autumn, early spring jacket. Before, it's nice enough weather to wear a lighter jacket. But I do wear it during the winter as well.

It's wearing out, it's old. But, oh, yeah, I'd like to get another one. But anyway, that, I've been wearing it for ages and I haven't worn it for, I've been wearing it for years, but I haven't worn it since probably March or April.

When I put it on yesterday. Now, I didn't have anything underneath apart from a t-shirt. Now, in the winter, I'll be wearing a jacket, you know, a jumper, cardigan, well, jumper, something like that.

Because the jacket's not a big jacket, you know, it's not really suitable for winter. It gets wet really through. It's not a great jacket, but I liked it when I first got it.

It's got a very floppy, floppy hat attached. Honestly, it just blows off in the wind. It's very floppy.

Anyway, so, oh, my stomach. I put it on because I was, I don't know where I was going. Going somewhere.

Oh, yeah, I had to go and get my prescriptions from the pharmacy. And my friend came with me, so I just went and put my jacket on. And there was a gap between the top of my trousers and the top of the jacket, or the bottom of the jacket and the bottom, the bottom of the jacket, that's it, and the top of my trousers.

There was this gap, which was a belly. I mean, the belly's covered with a t-shirt, but there was this gap that was not hiding my belly. And I'm thinking, I mean, it could be a variety of different things.

I might have got bigger, like my shoulders, my arms might have got bigger, I've done weights and stuff. So that might be, so why it's, yep, I'm, I'm relying to myself. It's the best, best thing in the world.

It's wonderful. But it might be, you know, because if you've got a top on your shoulders, it's a quite a tight jacket anyway. And it pulls up anyway.

Normally it's, you know, it's quite, it doesn't stay down very well. So I'm thinking I might have put weight on, but it might be muscle. Again, you know, it's, it's, I feel better when I say it, when I say that, but it's not the muscles you see, it's the belly.

And I couldn't go out on it. I could not, I couldn't even pull it down with my hands, wouldn't go down. Normally I can pull it down and it kind of stays down.

This time it was, honestly, it wasn't as high as my belly button, but it weren't far off. So I had to take it off. And luckily last year, I think it was at my step-mom's birthday, my dad gave me a jacket for the winter and I've not worn it yet.

I started wearing it and it's really good. I didn't, I didn't like it. It's not that my jacket's fashionable, although it was, I did get it for TK Maxx or whatever.

And it was a nice jacket when I bought it. It may be 10 years ago. Seriously, it's ridiculous.

I might have had it 10 years, which is just amazing. Wow. And it's worn out.

I need to get a new jacket, but I've got this old, it's, it's a new jacket I've got that my dad gave me, never worn it. And we're both pretty much the same kind of size now. Although I think he's bigger than me, he just pretends not to be.

But my dad was always big. And he's, I mean, what I mean by that is when he was at school, he weighed about 14 and a half stone when he was at school. And I guess probably yet in the last year of school, before he left, but he was 14 and a half stone at 15 is, I don't know what that is in kilos, but it's, it's, you know, it's, it's not as much as I weigh, but it's big.

When you think that he was 14 and a half stone without a belly. So that's a lot of, it's a big, and when I left school, I was about eight and a half stone. Seriously.

And I had to, but I had this big head and I was, it was a bit like, you know, family guy, you know, Stewie from Family Guy. It was like that, this big, massive head and a tiny little body, which I know that I've got a strong neck. I must have to have been carrying this big, heavy, I haven't got a big neck.

I just, I know it's strong because of carrying this big, heavy head around all those years. And, and then I kind of filled out, like gradually, and I wasn't eight, eight and a half stone, you know, once I reached sort of 17, 18, I put weight on, but not a huge amount. And it wasn't really until I was 25 when I went on to antidepressants to, and then suddenly I put on about a stone.

I went to sleep and I woke up like that stone heavier. It's a bit, remember the first Spider-Man movie, the, like the big Spider-Man movie with, I don't know, was it 2002? Something like that. And he goes to bed, he's been bitten by whatever, and he goes to bed and he wakes up and he's bigger, you know, he's muscly and he's bigger.

Well, that's what happened with me. But instead of muscle, it was just flab. And it wasn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't really become big, fat and smelly until I was probably about, when I stopped smoking in 2001, September, no, January, sorry, January, no, December 1999.

Yeah, that's it. I stopped smoking. I put on about, yeah, I put on quite a bit of weight after that.

And part of that might be because I was drinking a fair bit. I kind of swapped one thing for another. I don't think I was really eating much.

I don't eat a lot. I still don't. You know, if you was out in a restaurant with me and there was maybe 10 people all together sitting around a table, of course, it shouldn't be more than six anymore in this country, but six, six is the maximum that you can sit on the table with, that seven person all, all.

And what you would notice is, first of all, I'm a slow eater. And I'll eat less than probably most people at the table. You know, it's rare that I finish a meal, even stuff I like.

Well, why do you eat stuff you don't like, Jason? No, I'm not saying I eat stuff I don't like. I mean, I just, I mean, stuff that I really like, you know, tasty stuff, because let's face it, not all food is equal in taste, is it? There's certain things. We all have our favorite things.

I'm trying to think of something that I like. I'm not sure if my taste buds have changed over the last few months, because I've just not had the, I've not had the enjoyment of eating for quite a while. It's just almost a chore, like, well, I've got something I've got to do.

Yeah, I don't know what that's about. I haven't tried salad cream. Now, I love salad cream.

It's a little secret, daily secret of mine. You know, I've got a little thing for salad cream. And I'd only ever eat it when, you know, over the years.

It'd only really be when I went to a pub. And usually, like a work stew or works, you know, like we go out as a team, you know, for lunch once a month or something. And I'd have a burger and chips.

And I'd have a little bit, I'd have some tomato sauce. And I'd have some salad cream. Not mayonnaise.

Mayonnaise is wrong to me. I can't, I don't never like mayonnaise. Just don't.

I really proper dislike it. But salad cream is special. And having, dipping your chips into salad cream, maybe tomato sauce as well.

Oh, heaven. And I bought some salad cream for myself a couple of months ago, as a little treat. And I was having crackers with cheese on, with salad cream and maybe some, you know, cucumber, some tomatoes and stuff like that.

I got so sick of the salad cream that I only had about a quarter of the bowl. And in the end, I had to chuck it away because I went out of date. It was in the fridge for ages.

I just didn't like it anymore. Because I don't eat chips here. I don't.

Fries, I don't know if you're in other countries, but these chips, they're not french fries. French fries are little ones, aren't they? Chips here are bigger. I don't know what you would call them in America.

What do you call, what do you call, I suppose, would you call them potato chips or do you call them big fries? I don't know. I don't know. I'm not sure.

I always fancied the idea of traveling through America, staying in a motel and just eating in a diner, like every day, eating in a diner and just staying there for the day, maybe a couple of days, just to see what's around, you know, what's happening in the town. And then moving on to the next place, perhaps on a stagecoach bus or something like that. I thought it'd be fun.

The thing is, in a lot of movies, a lot of really weird things happen in those motels and even the diners as well. It seems to be some of the most loveliest films, maybe romantic or just really optimistic, positive, life affirming films. Quite often there's, you know, it involves a diner along the way at some point, people meeting up in the diner in a local town.

But then you've got other films where it involves scenes in a diner which are very different. So, yeah, I'd quite like to go to a diner just once, a proper one in America, and have waffles and have some pie, cherry pie, I don't know, something like that. Yeah, I think it'd be, I think I'd have to, I'd have to have some kind of exercise routine planned because I'd be eating a lot of stuff that probably needed to be burnt off, you know, calorie-wise.

Yeah, I suppose, you know, I could, when I do my world tour, my let you bore me to sleep, let you bore me to sleep. Yeah, I could do it, couldn't I? Let you bore... You know what I was thinking of doing? Let me bore you awake. So I thought about doing a different podcast, but it's me basically waking up, having my breakfast and just talking while I'm having my breakfast.

And you may think, oh, what's the point in that? Well, when I first wake up, I'm in a very different, a very different kind of mode of thought than sort of at the end of the day. I seem to be, I would say possibly quite a bit sharper, a bit spikier in a sense of the things that I would say. So it could be interesting.

Yeah, I remember one of my favourite things, and I think you can tell if you, if you're, not you, but you know, if... When I was staying with my cousin and her husband, they weren't married then, they are now, but they, his daughters used to come round and his eldest was, I don't know how old she was, probably 19, 20, something like that, maybe older, 20, something like that. Anyway, but she used to, she used to come round to see her dad, but sometimes her dad wouldn't be in, he'd be out, and she'd wake me up. And then I'd sit in the garden and have a cigarette and chat with her.

And I realised that she was the only person I'd ever met who I was actually happy to see in that kind of situation. It's almost, I just felt really comfortable with her. It's very strange, I told her that as well, not like in a hitting on her, because I think she had a boyfriend, but just, plus I don't think her dad would have been too pleased with me.

But she was just, I just got on so well with her, so naturally, without any effort. At all. Yeah, I never really could understand it.

I suppose I should add that back then, I was grumpy if I was woken up. Grumpy isn't probably really doing it justice. Extremely, not nice really, actually, not necessarily a particularly nice person for the first few hours, depends, but just getting woken up, never like that.

And for some reason, because she used to chuck stuff at my window to wake me up, so I'd come down and let her in. And for some reason, as soon as I saw her, my mood changed, my mood uplifted, and I felt nice and happy. I don't know, perhaps I should have told her.

I mean, she was younger than me, but she was still, she was an adult, and I was an adult, and I suppose I kind of, it was almost forbidden fruit in the sense of being, her dad being my landlord, I guess. But she was, yeah, it wasn't just that she was beautiful, because she was one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. But I genuinely, you might say, well, that's why you liked her.

No, it wasn't. It's why I fancied her. But when I was in the garden, I didn't fancy her.

I, you know, I was, I just liked being with her. I wasn't thinking about anything else. Maybe that's the secret.

But yeah, she did have a boyfriend as well. But she was seeing someone older than me, so my age wasn't really an issue. She was, what was I, late 20s, and she was seeing someone in his 40s, I think.

Plus, I don't think she had any interest in me in that way. A little bit of flirting sometimes. But, you know, the only, probably the only flirty thing she really said was, well, she had a cold once, and she said, oh, I need someone to rub Vaseline into my chest.

Like, you got a boyfriend, haven't you? Go ahead and do it. I think that was my reaction. She laughed, like, what do you expect me to do? So, but she was lovely.

But I haven't seen her for years. 20, 20 years. 20 years.

It's, wow. I've got no idea what she's doing with her life. She's probably, she may have got married, might have 100 children.

She might be living in Africa. She might be an astronaut. I don't know.

Honestly, I don't know. I hope she's well. I hope she's happy.

And it's the first time I've even really thought about her for a long time. I didn't have a crush on her or anything. Really, just, it was just feeling comfortable with her.

And I didn't see her very often. I had periods when I'd see her, like, every week or every couple of weeks. And then I didn't see her for a few months.

But she was lovely. Just really, yeah. So that's a situation that I don't feel regretful about.

Because it wasn't a situation for me to do anything in. It was a situation for me to be respectful towards my landlord's daughter. And I was.

So I think I did the right thing. So yeah, I can imagine. Well, I don't think he'd have been happy.

I've got on really well with him. I mean, technically, he wasn't the landlord. It was my cousin was the landlady.

And he was her boyfriend. It was her house. But, you know, of course, he's going to have a say.

No one had a say. No one was saying that. It was basically, she was the boss.

And I got on really well with her. With him, rather. Because we, well, we had, you know, we had that, we had that in common, you know, that we were living with her.

So, you know, we could sympathize, I suppose, with each other. Can't even remember her name. Not my cousin, but the, yeah, that's another thing.

It felt like family, really. Because she was my cousin. And she was my, basically, she was my grandmother's, my nan, my nan-nan, the one that I have talked about in the past.

Her sister, so my cousin that I lived with, she was my nan's sister's daughter. So she wasn't like a first cousin, or I don't know what, what is it, third cousin? I don't know. She was more auntie age.

You know, she was like my dad's age. She wasn't a cousin kind of age. Because all my cousins were pretty much around my age or older.

The, like, first cousins, I got quite a few. I've got about 10, I think, maybe less. Less than 100.

Yeah, I don't know. 12. Again, if I have to come up with a title for this podcast, what do I come up with? What have I actually said at all in the entire podcast? Nothing.

I said nothing. Oh, dear. Deary, deary, deary me.

Beely, beely, beely bee. Oh, well, well, well, well. So that's it, I think.

I mean, it's Saturday, so I haven't spent a lot of time in bed today, actually. I needed to, for some reason, to Condre for a walk. But he's been asleep most of the time.

Although he has had a lot of energy as well, which is quite nice. I like it. I see when he's got energy and he's running around and he wants me to chase him and stuff like that.

It's a real kind of, it just reminds me of when he was a baby. Where is he? He's asleep on a carrier bag near the window. Anyway, so I'm going to go.

So that's the bottom line. No adverts. And I plan on not talking about it again, really.

Done. And just move forward and look to improve my hypnosis podcasts and to do more effective work and to help more people, hopefully. So that's it from me.

Thank you for listening. And remember to be kind to yourself, because you deserve to be happy. Lots of love.

Bye.