#492 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com and André the ferret in the background. I don't know what he's doing. Anyway, this is Let Me Boy To Sleep.

Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Yep. I keep trying to get the sound right for this, but every time I do it, there's like a little, like right now, there's a little bit of a hum that I can hear.

Yeah. It's very slight, but I'm going to try and, yeah, see how I show you. What I mean, if I turn the sound up, that's how loud it goes.

I don't know what that was. I think that was André. Oh, it was the chair.

So it's louder, but it's that humming. Just to get it down. That's about the level that I can go down to.

It's not loud enough without me enhancing it later. Anyway, that was a nice, mildly interesting little experiment, just to let you know, let you know what I'm dealing with. Oop.

Discovered something just now. Something that I, oh yeah, only listen when you can safely close your eyes. I just heard of a thing called Mons Pubis Fat.

Just discovered it. And didn't know it existed. Didn't, genuinely didn't know anything about it.

And I don't want to talk about it, actually. I don't want to talk about that particular thing. However, yeah, I just got in touch with my cousin Kelly, which is nice.

Fastbook. That's me putting my phone down. Oh, I've got itchy balls.

So. My website is now up and running. So I'm pleased about that.

That's a good thing. Took a few days to get it done. The reason I wasn't able to connect it to the podcast is because, because, because, because Podbean, who's the host, already had my, they already had my previous account with them connected to that web address.

So it was blocking me being able to add mine. This chair isn't normally this squeaky. I'm sure I don't sit here completely statuesque.

Maybe I do. So it's okay. Maybe a few background sounds.

Sounds. That's all right. I'm quite pleased with the website because now it's running.

I had to get help to get it up and running. But managed to do it in the end, which was groovy. And yeah, I've done a few recordings today, which has been good.

Or yesterday, rather. So it's Wednesday now. But yesterday I had 5,453 downloads.

5,453. And it's 20 past 12 in the evening. So there's still over an hour left until the stats finish.

So you're looking at about 6,000. So yeah, that was good. And I didn't even do huge amounts of recordings yesterday.

And what have I got? Let me have a look. I released Yeah. Number 491.

Let me bore you to sleep. Google Map Nostalgia. Sleep Hypnosis Weekly.

Number 52. With and without music. So three recordings.

So yeah, that's quite cool, isn't it? But the website's running. It's up. So if you go to... Let me have a look.

If you put in my name. Jason Newland. Click on there.

It says Safari cannot open a page because the server cannot be found. Because it's still connected to the old website. So what you can do is go www.jasonnewland.com and the website comes up.

So the other one, it was https://jasonnewland.com So they just used a different domain version, if that makes sense. This one is... You can just put www.in and it will come up. It will take a while on the internet, I'll just get used to it.

Which will be fine. So... On the podcast. Ignore the... God, this really is a creaky chair.

Wow. I do apologize. Maybe.

Ignore the banner which says, play this podcast on Podbean app. No, don't. Because if you do that, there may be adverts.

The whole point of the www.jasonnewland.com new website is that it's a podcast with all of my recordings on. But with no... Zero adverts. OK? That's why I did it.

That's why I went through the whole process of building this new podcast. And have it as my new website. My main website.

My only website, in fact. It's not my only domain name, I've always got a few. A few hanging around.

This is the main one. In order for me to get rid of the Podbean app logo and the Podbean stuff. I'd have to pay... What is it? Something like £99 a month.

Or $99 a month. Yeah, I wasn't too impressed with that. If I'm honest.

$99 a month, just so I don't... Just so I can have it as my website. What is the point in even having it connected to the website if I can't have... I'm not paying for it. I'm paying Podbean.

I can have a podcast on Podbean without paying anything. You know, in an individual podcast. But because this is, you know, lots of different stuff.

Lots of different things on here. Lots of different categories. So it's different from a sort of standard podcast.

Anyway. So, www.jasonnewland.com And if you just... Go all the way down to the bottom of the page. You'll see a list of categories and there's loads.

There's also a little bar saying support this free service. Click here. PayPal.

Follow me on Facebook. And follow me on Twitter. If you turn the phone sideways.

You'll see all the categories on the right hand side. If you're looking on a tablet or a laptop. Or, you know, a computer screen.

You'll see the categories on the right side as well. So, you know, every time I release a new recording. I upload it.

It's the first recording that you'll see when you go to jasonnewland.com www. It's weird to have to say that again. And the most recent recording is there.

As well as lots of others. All kind of in order really. But then of course, let's say Sleep Hypnosis Weekly.

You can go to the category and go down. Go down. Sleep Hypnosis Weekly.

And that has all of them. That I've done. Going all the way back to.

All the way back to. Oh, look. Number one.

Sleep Hypnosis Weekly number one. Wow. I'm not sure what the date was for that.

But. The date for number for Sleep Hypnosis Weekly number eight was. The 26th of April 2019.

And now there's 52. Recordings and. Now each week I do one with and one without music.

And the latest one is called Drift and Dream. So the one without music is 21 minutes 32 seconds. The one with music is 2 hours.

And 38 seconds. Yeah, man. My tummy is going weird.

Having some strange sounds from me tum tum. So yeah, I'm pleased the website is now. Up and running.

Proper. And that's good. Hopefully edit.

The microphone is just way too close. Like now it's really close to my mouth. But it's not.

A pleasant experience for me. So I'm going to stay with this a little distance. I might end up looking at getting some kind of.

Mixing studio thing. I can play around with it a bit more and get a. Better quality sound. As it is the mastering thing that I purchased.

The app that broke. Yeah, that's good. I mean what.

Absolutely ridiculous. It's only just begun. I did get a message from Sharon.

Hi Jason. Liking the new microphone. It suits your voice.

Thank you. That's very, very kind of you. I do like the microphone.

The. As I said, you know, I've been going on about it a bit. It's just getting the right volume.

And it's all. I enjoyed sitting in that chair over there. Relaxing and just chatting.

I suppose if I moved things around. I probably could still continue to work that way. It's possible, but it's.

Yeah, moving furniture around. I'm just way too lazy for that. I don't like even picking up things from the floor.

I'm sure I had another message. One notification. Ben likes my link.

Thank you. Thank you very much. Okay.

Right. Whatever. Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

If I've got any. Oh, by the way, I do have. I do honestly do.

I have a Facebook page devoted entirely to these. Let me bore you to sleep. Recordings.

Honest. Benefit of that. Is I guess you get to see the other people that listen.

Because the only people that will. Like that page will be people that actually listen. I'm guessing.

To these podcasts. And also. Unlike my other podcast Facebook pages.

You won't be inundated with lots of different recordings. Because I do stick to just to let me bore you to sleep ones. Other.

Other than. I do post pictures of Andre. And your message and stuff from for me.

I should be allowed. Small blooming page. I should be allowed to say something.

Sometimes. But not often. Not as often as you might think.

I really maybe I should a little bit more be a little bit more interactive on that particular page. But you know. Try me best.

This is so much to do. You know even the new website. The old website www.jasonnewland.com. Is still.

I got lots of images to change on that. To update. It's all the new recordings.

They've got you know up to date images next to the recordings. It's easy to do. But going back and changing the hundreds and hundreds.

Is. A little task. A little bit of a you know.

So. Very much like having a bath. I put it off.

For as long as possible. Till I get that letter from a landlord. Demanding that I wash.

So yeah it's. What was that? There's something on the TV. As I record this.

And they seem to be making. I thought it was easter eggs. But now that looks like a brain.

Wow. Oh wow. They're making.

It's a cake. Now. I'm not being rude.

Why would anybody want a cake that looks like a brain? Then I got one. It's a heart. Or a lung.

These are cakes. Cakes. And people have ordered them.

Why? They look horrible. They really look horrible. Oh.

I can't believe. So they're cakes yeah. And they're taking it into a public place.

Because it's kind of an artistic work. And very unique and everything. And they're offering.

The public. A free taster. And it had subtitles on there.

And some man said. No thanks. I'm a vegetarian.

It's not. They're not real awful. It's not a real heart.

It's a cake. It's icing. If you was a vegan.

Fair enough. But a vegetarian. You can't eat cake.

Well. You can do whatever you want. Regardless of.

What label you give yourself. But. I wonder if.

Veganism gets rid of. Pubic fat. It's almost like.

I'm growing buttocks. Above me really. Honestly.

It's. Like. When did that happen? I mean.

Seriously. I could go outside. In torrential rain.

Naked. And my legs would not get wet. It's ridiculous.

When did that happen? This must be. Like a gradual thing. That I've just noticed.

And I noticed. You know. I'm noticing changes.

Happening. Noticing. You know.

Blemishes. In the skin. Certain.

Changes. And stuff. Like.

Plasticity. Skin plasticity. Isn't as good as it used to be.

I've got my lower back. Which really. Man.

I could moan about that all night. But. That's not what I'm here for.

But I'm going to have to go to the doctors about it. I'm not talking about the fat pubic bone. I'm talking about the.

You know. I'm doing the opposite. To what anyone else would do.

In my situation. I think. See.

I've got people around the world listening. Some. Who.

Like the sound of my voice. There might be a. The odd one or two. That even may.

Like. Think. That I've got.

They like my personality. It's hard to believe. But it might happen.

It's almost like. I'm going out of my way. To make myself sound.

As gross as possible. Honestly. If you actually met me in real life.

You'd be so relieved. Like. Oh.

You'd just be relieved. That I've got a head. It's like.

Oh. Wow. It's you know.

Honestly. Expect us to turn up. And it's just.

One arm. One leg. And an eye sticking on a. On a stalk or something.

No. I'm okay. But just.

The aging process. Is. Happening.

And I can't deny it. I can deny it. But I don't want to.

Because. I'm. This is really weird.

Unfortunately. I find it quite hilarious. The getting older.

The just. General. Deterioration.

Of my body. It actually. Tickles me.

And I don't know why. It's. I don't like the pain.

But even that makes me laugh. For some reason. I just.

You know. My lower back. I'm really struggling with that at the moment.

Well. Not right now. But.

You know. When I use it. And.

That's going to be something. I'm probably going to be talking about. Boring everyone for years to come.

But. At the same time. At the same time.

I can see humor in it. Because I'm thinking. If I ever end up having to use a wheelchair.

Like one of those electric wheelchairs. Or one of those electric buggies. You know the things you can travel around on.

If you have a disability. A physical disability. Then I'm looking forward to.

Driving along the pavement. And scratching all the cars. That are parked on the pavement.

Anything that's blocking my way. I've got targets already. Just neighbors.

Neighbors cars who park. On the pavement. Without any consideration.

Towards people in wheelchairs. And that's just like. Yeah.

That's going to be the first thing I do. I'm so looking forward to it. And then I'm thinking.

Wait a minute. I'm looking forward. To having difficulty walking.

I shouldn't be looking forward to that. But then I think. Well.

Maybe I've got the right attitude. You know I'm not scared of it. But it's easy not to be scared of something.

If it's not real. It hasn't happened. Oh man.

See I can reduce. Pain. Chronic pain.

I know how to reduce it. It's easy to do with other people. But you know I can do it on myself.

But at the same time. I do like to have a good moan. I want to be able to tell people about it.

Well now on this thing. There's this big. Massive block of chocolate.

Okay. The microphone go weird when I said chocolate. And what they're doing.

Is they are sculpting it. As if it was a big bit of marble. Wow.

But they're sculpting this big bit of chocolate. How on earth they managed to get it to be. Such a. Chunk.

I mean that's. I mean they're huge. I'm talking.

Six foot by six foot. Big big big things. In fact.

I've lived in smaller rooms than that. I haven't. Why do I keep saying stuff like that.

Why. I don't know. This is in Europe somewhere.

Says. I'm not sure what this TV show is called. But something to do with chocolate.

Let me just have a look. I've got the remote control here. Wonderful world of chocolate.

I was right. I'm so pleased. She's got chocolate everywhere.

I wish she had an elephant's head made out of chocolate. Wouldn't chocolate go off though. Unless there's a special type of chocolate that just.

Stays okay the whole time forever and ever. Amen. Because I've left chocolate bars outside.

And they generally start to go white. Very much like dog poo in the 80s. I don't know if you remember that.

But dog poo on the streets. There'd be a lot of white dog poo. Now.

Well it's rare you see any dog poo. Because you know. It's.

Well I don't know where you live. It might be full of dog poo. You might live.

You might actually live in a house. That's made of dog poo. I don't know.

How would I know. How would I know. Um.

I don't know. I built a. Mud house. And filled it with flies.

I thought that she would think that it was. Very very nice. But instead she said that it was.

The worst present she's ever had. For any birthday. Or valentines.

Why is there making a. Not a gherkin. What's that tiger. Like an eagle.

It's an eagle. But it's a big. It's almost an eagle with a tiger's body.

Peregrine. Not a peregrine. It's like a mythical creature.

What is a monkey there. Oh it's not a monkey. It was the nostrils of.

A. Cow. I thought it was a little monkey. Oh.

The thing is. Oh now she's doing the bum. I wonder who would eat the bum.

Because. That's. That's really the part that looks the most realistic.

Because it's made of chocolate. And you know. But it's a cow's bum.

And you know. You know. That it's going to be.

Really tasty. Because it's chocolate. However.

It's a cow's bum. Or is it a pig. It's a tiny little thing.

I mean it's not. It took two of them to carry it. But it's the size of a. A little pig.

Oh. I thought that would make sense. Because it does look like a pig.

I was thinking it was a cow. Yeah. I think it looks more like a cow.

Like a crossbreed between a cow and a pig. Now that would have been an interesting date. Yes I'm pleased I've got the website up and running.

That was something that was playing on my mind. And. I'm going to keep mentioning it.

Every time I do a recording. Just to let you know. So that anybody that has.

You know that wants to listen without adverts. Can just go to my website. And it's free.

And it's no adverts at all. Even though the adverts are only on. At the very beginning.

And the other podcasts. As I'm starting to see. That quite a few.

Of the podcast. Directories. Podbean being one of them.

I didn't realize. Is. If you want to listen ad free.

It costs money. And. Spotify also.

Do the same thing. If you want to listen. Without adverts.

It costs you money. You know the. Monthly charge or whatever.

So. Yeah. You can kind of get adverts anyway.

At different times. And the only way to avoid that. Is to subscribe to the.

To the. I don't know to Spotify or to. I don't know.

Whatever one it is you with. Tune in. Maybe there's another one.

Stitcher. Maybe they all have adverts. I don't know.

I really don't know. I've done some. Research.

And there's always. Room for. More research.

But there's just so much to do. There really is a lot to do. Yesterday.

Tuesday the 8th of. September 2020. I. Did quite a lot of stuff.

It might not seem like a lot. But it to me. It was quite a lot.

First of all. I made. Some recordings.

Which is good. I got the website online. Which took a while a few.

Backwards and forwards messages. Over about 12 hour period. And then I. Took.

I collected all the rubbish and put it into bags. And put it outside. As I'm not a lot of rubbish.

I. Did the washing up. It was a lot of washing up to do. It really was.

Then. I. Cleaned. The carpet.

Parts of the carpet. Near the front door. And in the bedroom.

So. I felt pleased I'd done that. I've still got.

Bits to do in the living room. But. You know.

The front door. It's important. I've got to keep that area nice.

Just. You know. It's worth going in and out of the flat.

Just. It's just a bit grim. And also my bedroom.

You know. So I'm trying to keep things. To keep on top of things.

I. Also had a bath. And. I went.

To Condoray for a walk as well. A nice walk. So.

Kind of. Yeah. I've got a fair bit done today.

Yesterday rather. So I'm fairly pleased. Yeah.

Fairly pleased. I think having the website up and running. Is.

A big plus. Because. I spent.

A lot of time working on that podcast. Uploading all the latest recordings. You know.

Paying to have it up and running. And all the different things were involved in it. It was.

Fairly. Difficult emotionally. To let go of the other podcast.

Or the other website. Rather. Because.

I've been using that for quite a while. I've now lost all the. Messages that people left me.

Or you know the. Online messages. Some videos that people left.

I've lost all that. Which is a shame. Yeah.

It's a big shame actually. So. You can still.

Say nice things if you want. On my. I don't know if it allows it.

On my website. That's a weird one isn't it. Instead I click there.

Let me have a look. Hmm. Oh.

How weird. So if I click on. Sleep hypnosis.

Oh it doesn't give an opportunity to. Leave a comment. I can share.

I can play it. I can like it. Nope.

You have to do it through the store. Through the app store. That's no good.

But. £99 a month. Just to have that.

I mean I can also upload videos. Do a few other bits. But.

The main thing I'd get. For that would be to get rid of the. Podbean.

Connection. £99. Or is it $99.

Let me have a look. Okay. Podbean.

Prices. Plans and pricing. So you've got the basics.

Always free. You can have storage space. In five hours.

I mean that's a day for me. So that's really no good. So the one.

You've got unlimited audio. Unlimited plus. The unlimited plus.

Includes unlimited videos. Apart from that. It's all the same as the other one.

This. The one for business. Oh wow.

It's even more than I thought. It's £99 a month. If you pay annually.

It's like yeah okay. Let me just. I'll just get a grand together.

Or. $129 a month. If you pay monthly.

And. It's everything else. That everyone else.

The others have got. Except. You can have a private podcast.

Of SSO. Authentication. Engagement Intel.

Remove Podbean branding. Really. See.

Remove. Podbean. Branding.

I wonder if there's a way of doing this. Removing Podbean branding print. Log into your Podbean account.

Go to the organisation page. Then click. The plus add account option.

Button. To activate the feature. Of brand removal.

After purchasing the add-on feature. Of brand removal. Click the edit tab.

Behind. Individual channel. Oh.

That's interesting. I'm just going to look through it. Absolutely ridiculous.

After all this. It happens every single time. For some reason.

Every. There's always these little hidden. Things for some strange.

Strange reason. I don't know what. Like a little block.

You know. So now I'm with Podbean. All I wanted it.

Was just to be a website. Podcast. My domain name.

And then just to leave me alone. That's all I wanted. But now every time you go on there.

Trying to get you to go to there. To download their app. And I don't want that.

Because you don't need to do that. If you've got a website. That's the whole point of the website.

And now. It's just like. If you pay $129 a month.

We can get rid of the. The you know. The Podbean logo.

And branding. Really just $129. Is that all? There's got to be better uses of.

I don't work out. How much that is a year. $129.

So that's got to be. At least £100. $129 times by 12.

$1400. $1548. A year.

Just to get rid of. The annoying brand. Logo.

Which you keep saying. My name's Podbean. Hello.

I'm Podbean. Yeah. I know.

I know that Jason does all the work. And he pays. I know.

He actually pays for this service. Yet we're holding him to ransom. I do wonder.

I had such high hopes. It just seemed like. The perfect solution.

To. The people moaning about the adverts and. And it's been a few.

You know. Should I say complaining. Complaining about the adverts.

Not big fans of adverts. Although I'm not meeting myself either. So.

Done all this. Every single one of my recordings. Is on there.

Pretty much in my view. I have a couple of hundred missing. But generally most of my recordings.

Are on there. All categorized. All organized.

It's a good little place. Everything's quite good. They've got these.

Silly logos. Oh. My tummy's doing a little wobble again.

I mean. I'm just looking again. Jason Newland dot com.

Right at the front. At the top. There's the.

Squeaky chair in the background. There's a Podbean logo. Right at the top.

Search podcast. Create podcast. And follow.

So if you click follow. What comes up is. You have to log in.

To Podbean. To do that. Of course.

Create a podcast. You've got to log in to Podbean. And to search for the podcast.

If I put in. I'm going to put in chronic pain. OK.

Just as a. That's one of the subjects I cover. And click on the. That's not working.

Done. Nope. Oh no I do do it.

And it's. Eventually allows me to do it. And it just brings up a lot of podcasts.

Admittedly. Two of mine come up. Which is nice.

What on earth. Well actually more than two. One two.

Three four. Four of mine. That's not the point.

It takes me away from my website. I'll take. And then at the bottom of the page.

Play this podcast on Podbean app. I'm going to click on that. See what it says.

Straight away an advert comes up. OK. Now.

And it's actually a visual ad as well. Let me see what it is. Return the volume up a little bit.

So if I go to click. Remove ads. £8.99 a year.

No display ads. Unlimited playlists. Set following page.

As default homepage. User feedback. Priority.

Input on features. Subscribe. £8.99 a year.

I'm not going to get any of that. It's my podcast. So.

Why I would say. Is just play it on the website. Try to ignore that.

It's annoying. You can. You can just click on.

I'll turn the volume down. So nothing happens. So the latest one.

Sleep hypnosis weekly 52. Good music. I can just play it.

And it plays. But if I go to share it. I can.

Facebook. Twitter etc. But if I go to like it.

Like the episode on your phone. Download free podcast app. I don't want to download the app.

I'm starting to think that I might just go back to the original. Website I had before. Oh well.

I might as well just do a podcast on podcasting. And every single podcast. Service that I've ever used.

And you know this. Podbean is a really good podcast host. If you forget what I've just said.

I mean you know. It's not expensive. Generally.

Apart from the business plan. $129 a month. Or $99.

If you pay a monthly. But for the whole year ahead. So.

It's what? £1,100. Or $1,100. As opposed to $1,500.

If you do it monthly. So wow. I think the main problem really that I've had for years.

Is. I've got too many recordings. That's why Spreaker was so good.

Even though it's gone up in price over the years. Because of the amount of stuff I have. I now have unlimited.

And it should be. Wow. That should be I think about £120 a month.

But I've got a discount. So it ends up being. I think £76 a month.

But I've been with them for quite a while. I mean. It's been.

It's been less than two years. This time. But I've been with them in the past.

Quite a lot. Because I've been with. I'd say.

Pretty much every paid podcast host. That there is. I think I must have been with them all.

At some point. I mean I suppose. I suppose.

I could just. I don't know. I don't even know.

It's. It's a weird one. It's a weird weird weird one.

Perhaps I can get some feedback from. Those of you that. I've gone to my website.

What do you think? I mean everything's organised. It's in categories. You can.

If you're using a mobile phone. I'd say turn it on its side. Because then you've got the categories on the right hand side.

Save you scrolling all the way down to the bottom. And I think there's 30. Or 32 different categories.

I counted them yesterday. I'd say. It just seems.

Quite good. I mean I suppose. Thinking about it.

Maybe. Maybe maybe maybe. If I got myself a WordPress.

Website. And added the pod bean. Maybe there's a way around it.

I'll look into it. It's a little bit of a wind up. Actually.

I just want things to go smoothly. Without having to. Do anything.

Yeah. I'll look into it. There's always.

Always a way around it. Even if it means paying $129 a month. Which I personally think is extortionate.

I'm going to contact them directly and say listen. All I want is the branding took off. This is going to be my website.

To expect me to pay. $1500 a month. Just for that.

Seems a bit of a joke. I'll try and word it. A bit nicer than that.

Dear clown head. What is your game? Yeah, so I'd like to get that sorted out. So maybe that's what I'll do.

When this recording has commenced. I shall send a message. To Podbean.

And say. Please Mr. and Mrs. Wonderful person. You know what? I've looked online and you used to be able to take away.

The branding. They offered that as an option. Now they don't.

Unless you pay the full whack. So I'm going to see whether or not there's a way. That I can get the.

I can pay. I don't mind paying extra. You know, I don't mind paying an extra 20 quid a month.

To go to the higher bracket. But not $129 a month. No.

No, no, no. So I'm going to look into it. And I'm going to give them a contact.

And see what they say. Just seems shame because. It's such a. It's almost a perfect scenario.

Perfect situation. My website being a podcast. With all of my recordings.

All of them free to listen to. Free to stream. Without any adverts.

All organized. That's all in one place. How perfect could that be? So that's, you know, ideal for people.

Who. Who don't want the ads. And also want everything to be in one place.

Because with the podcasts. They're all different, aren't they? So, you know, the deep sleep whisper ones. You've got the relaxation for stress, anxiety.

Different podcasts. Let me bore you to sleep. And some have.

Different ones on there. But. To have everything all organized.

Is just. It's just a blessing. It really is.

It's a real blessing. So I'm going to go now. Before I go.

I'd just like to remind you. To be kind. Be kind.

Be kind. Be kind. To yourself.

I nearly said be kind. To your behind. Be kind to yourself.

Because you deserve to be happy. Do something really nice for yourself. Lots of love.

Bye.