#482 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name's Jason Lunand and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen and you can safely close your eyes. And I've got little Andre, he's cuddling up to me which is quite nice.

I think part of it is because he wants to go for a walk. But he's already been out, I already took him for a walk earlier. Didn't I? I went to the garage with my friend and he stayed outside with my friend and I went in and bought a few bits.

When I came out my friend said look at him and Andre, he climbed in to some, I don't know what it was, a few bits that were outside the garage for sale. I think it was, I've got no idea what it was, but a bunch of stuff and he just climbed in and laid out and went to sleep. It was very cute.

I'm going to go to bed now. This is kind of prime time for him now to want to go out. He loves going out in the evening.

But I've been out today so I'm not going out again. So, and I've had the heating on tonight, can you believe it? It's only 26th of August, yep, my birthday. And it was cold, it's been cold in here all day long.

Like not cold but just chilly, you know, a bit like sitting in a fridge. But just too cold to just be inactive. If I'd been dancing around, you know, like I normally do, I'd have been all right but I kind of put up with it all day.

And then a couple of hours ago I thought, nah, I'm going to put the heating on. So I did. And now it's, it's okay, it's room temperature again.

How are you doing, little boy? You were sleeping on my bed today, weren't you? You like sleeping on daddy's bed, don't you? Okay, I should correct that. You like sleeping on our bed, yeah? Or is it your bed and you allow me to sleep on it? That's probably more like it, isn't it? Okay. So I haven't done much in the way of recordings today.

I'll stop yawning in a minute. I did a live Facebook broadcast at midnight. So it was, how many hours ago is that? 22 hours ago, yeah, 22 hours ago.

I was, I started to record it. You're a lot of a sting, why are you a little stink off? Oh, I made a mistake. Andre's slipper.

Okay, damn, must go away. Andre's slipper. He had it in his mouth and he put it down and it looked and it was this like brown stuff on it.

And I couldn't figure out what it was. I thought, is that poo? But it wouldn't be poo, you know, but what? So I thought, well, I'll give it a rinse to get it out. But it turns out it's just a slipper where it's, whatever he's done to it is that part of the slipper instead of being black is now brown.

Wow. When I put it under the tap, the, the stuff that came out of that slipper almost melted the sink, seriously. The drainage system is still complaining.

So I thought, okay, this, when I realized there was nothing actually on the slipper to drain out, well, apart from a huge amount of dirt. So I put it onto the radiator. I shouldn't have touched it.

I shouldn't have. That's his, that's his girlfriend. And all the smells on that is what he loves.

Maybe taste as well. I don't know, but it's about the smell, I think. And now I've took some of that away.

He's going to be angry when he realizes. It's just the same as when he had his bag, the green bag, I need to get another one really, but I used to wash it every probably six months, including the blue jumper that was in there that he used to sleep on. And every time I washed it and gave it back to him, he was so angry.

He began. So he didn't want to go near him because he didn't have his smell. So yeah.

He'll get over it. He'll recover. No doubt.

Um, what else? Oh, yes, I did the live broadcast. And it was about an hour and 40 minutes long. And then I went to bed.

And it was, it was a surprise. I didn't have a huge amount of people listen or watch at the same time. But quite a few people did actually watch during it.

So during that 140 minutes, no, one hour and 40 minutes, there was I think it was over 200 people watched. Which is quite cool. So people just came and went, you know.

And come yawning, yawn, yawn, yawn. So I went to yeah, I uploaded the audio because I recorded it. Audio as well as video.

And I uploaded that to this so that let me bring the sleep podcast. But I didn't upload it to any of the other podcasts that I normally would. And I didn't give it a number.

So it wasn't, I just put it as a sort of separate alone 50th birthday live broadcast thing. And I think, oh, itchy chin. I think the next one I do will be on the, probably my 60th birthday.

That'll be the next live Facebook broadcast. Although Facebook may not be around then. So I'll just do it in.

Maybe I'll just broadcast it direct into your minds by then. I don't know. And we'll be watching stuff on our retinas probably, won't we? The internet and everything.

So I reckon in probably 10 years we'll be living in the internet. We'll have those goggles on, won't we? And we'll just be like, well, all I want to do today, I want to travel to Acapulco or Belgium or somewhere, you know, that's lovely to go on holiday to. You just put your goggles on and just say, yeah, I want to go to Beirut.

And you'll see there and you can sunbathe and have a lovely time. So yes, I guess that's the future. So I had a lovely, lovely surprise.

And it was a video made from a few of my friends who listen to my podcasts. And it was really cool. I mean, I played the video on my recording and on the video that I did, the live broadcast.

But also if you go to my Facebook page, it's on there. You can actually watch it. And if I could figure a way to download it, I will be able to save it, maybe put it onto Facebook, put it onto my website rather.

So there. And also, I haven't really had the energy to do it today. Andre, really? He's decided he must look into the kitchen because the kitchen door's pulled up.

He must go in there just to check everything's okay. Now he's at the front door. And he's probably about to scratch at the front door.

If I'm correct in my... Oh, no, he's running back. Oh, he's back in there again. He hasn't noticed I've got my slippers off so he could get to my feet.

Okay, they've got socks on, but he still enjoys it. He hasn't gone near my feet yet. Looks like he's... Oh, he's over here.

And yep, he's on my right foot. He's now biting my right big toe. He's licking it, but he's... Oh, that's interesting.

He likes licking the... So I've got these croc things, you know, the croc shoe things, like the slippers, but they're plastic. And I bought them because someone, one of my listeners said to me, well, don't you get some crocs? Because then he won't be able to bite through them, which is true, he can't. And they're not great for walking upstairs though.

I've slipped a few times. What's he doing? Oh, he's looking for his girlfriend. His girlfriend's drying off, he's not going to be happy.

I wonder if I'll keep him his girlfriend while she's wet, if he'll still touch her, let's have another look. I just chucked this... I just chucked her down there. He's sniffing.

It's wet, I don't know, he's not happy. It can't just be all about smell, and most of the smell's probably still in there. Some of the dirt came out, but I only had to add it under the tap for a little while.

Then it'll dry out. I've washed it, well, I've not washed it, but it fell in his water once, and the water turned brown. It was what, much like a rainbow, that turned brown.

And there was, I swear there was little things swimming in it. But, so I know, I dried it off, and he carried on with it after that, once it dried off. This is going to take, probably have to be till tomorrow.

Now he's scratching at the front door. Which, he hasn't done really much for the last couple of days. It's been pretty good.

But that might be because I've got the heating on. Although, the heating's not on. I had it on like minimum, so it just went on for a while and then went off.

But he's more likely to want to go outside if it's too warm in there. Especially in the evening. Because he can, he can stick his nose underneath the front door.

But all I haven't done is, there is a little cap, and he can probably tell that it's cool out there. And he's got his, he can smell the smells of the... Why do you have to rub yourself over everything, Andre? So now he's climbing onto the black chair. Last time he did this, I was doing a recording, and he, he turned the television on.

With the remote, just press the remote and turn it on. What's he doing now? He's sniffing. Okay, he's knocking stuff on the floor.

It's almost like he's trying to press, he's pressing stuff against the remote control. Okay, here you are. What do you want, mate? I'm now cuddling McCain, I'm cuddling you.

You're restless, aren't you? What is it you want? When do you want it? So yeah, Andre is the big O5 now, so he's five years old. You're doing well, aren't you, I think. He's healthy.

He's happy, I would say. He seems to be. He gets everything he wants, apart from he doesn't get to go out as much as he'd like to.

But then that would mean, that would mean me going out at three o'clock in the morning. And I'm not going to do that. I'm sorry, I'm not.

If it was my friend's dog, I might do, because his dog is huge, strong, scary dog. So I'd feel literally, you know, you're safe. You'd, with that dog, you'd be safe against three or four people.

It's proper, it's a proper big, strong dog. I don't want, plus dogs can see in the dark as well, can't they? I think. And the other night I was in the park.

It wasn't late, probably about 10 o'clock. I suppose it's dark outside. Yeah, about 10.

And there was someone sitting on one of the benches in the middle of the park. I could see a bit of movement. And he was just sitting there.

And then I got on his lead. And suddenly, out of nowhere, this black dog runs out. So I pick on that quickly and I just leave the, leave the park.

And I just see, I don't know, see that weird behavior, to be sitting in a park, in the dark, with a black dog. So the dog can't be seen. And I've got to look after this little fellow here.

You know, I've always got to keep my eye open for dogs, just to make sure the one doesn't run up and think he's a snack, you know? He's a no one snack, aren't you? And I've set myself a target in life. The minimum, the minimum I should be able to do in my life is take care of a little ferret. If I can't take care of this little one, what the hell am I worth? Seriously.

So that's the minimum, the minimum, the minimum I expect of myself is to be able to look after this little boy. I'm not talking health wise, because you know, I don't know what's going to happen there, but for his safety. Very, very protective, aren't I? To keep me safe.

He's oblivious, he'll just wander in the road. He doesn't have any of that. I don't know how many animals actually do.

I suppose the only color would be a trained dog, wouldn't it? Like a blind dog. Or horses. I think horses are quite aware, aren't they? When they're in the road, they can be quite easily startled.

Especially when they jump out of bushes with a foghorn. Right in his ear. Not that I would do such a thing.

I have friends that did that, but I didn't. I wanted to be part of it, but I didn't want to startle anyone. So I just took a triangle with me.

Hey, Andre. I swear that I'm hypnotizing him. I'm just stroking his head and talking softly.

And he's just almost just drifting. Drifting away. What I might do this week is a little treat.

And also to give you a taste of some of the other stuff that I do. And I'll just put it, well, I won't just put it on this podcast, but I'll, you know, specifically, it will be based for the Let Me Fall Into Sleep podcast. I might do an actual sleep session.

So none of the chatting, none of this stuff, but an actual focused falling asleep recording. So I might do that. And if people like it, maybe I'll stick one on here once a week.

Maybe. Just as a special thing. Or I guess I could just put my sleep hypnosis weekly recording on here.

For those that have never gone to that podcast or heard it. And you get to see or hear some of the other stuff that I do that's also focused on sleep. So it might be useful.

It does seem to be a category of people. Andre, stop that. This does seem to be a category of people on Facebook, I guess therefore in life, who tend to enjoy talking about how little sleep they get.

And I kind of wonder why they don't do something about it. Because there are so many things. I don't mean just me, there's other people, other things that might be more useful.

But there seems to be a bit of a martyrdom kind of going around. People feel like they're martyrs because they're suffering. They're not suffering in silence because they're telling everyone.

But they don't, I kind of feel like they don't need to suffer. Not willingly anyway. I never say anything generally, because I don't want to be rude.

It does get the same with chronic pain as well. I got involved in the chronic pain community straight away when I first started doing this stuff back in 2006. And some people welcome what I do.

And they welcome what other people do. All the different things that are available, including acupuncture, and aromatherapy, yoga, maybe nutrition. One of the things, reflexology, hypnosis, NLP, counseling even.

And counseling, talking to someone could actually help someone to relieve their chronic pain. Because the body holds emotional pain, which can present itself as chronic pain. So sometimes by talking something through, and almost letting go of it, or allowing it to go, can reduce chronic pain.

There's so many different ways. Now I can't offer aromatherapy, although I did study it a bit. I can't offer reflexology, although I did study it quite a bit.

Twice in fact, two different courses. But that's in person. Now I could do that if you were here with me.

But you're not. You are in spirit, kind of, but you're not. Seriously, Andre, you don't need to move.

You just did that to annoy me. You know, I'd like to do in the next probably three years, and I say this because of the time limit. There's going to be a time limit.

And however horrible it is, Andre is, you know, he's five, but he's a lot older than that, you know, technically. So I'd like to have an opportunity for people that wanted to meet him, to meet him. I know he's just a smelly little ferret, although I don't think we smell it at all, but I guess I wouldn't smell it anyway.

I'm used to it. But he's beautiful, and I think a lot of people that have seen him, and what have seen his videos, and heard about him and stuff, feel like they kind of know him a bit, you know. So I think that'd be quite cool.

I'd like to be able to put on some kind of an event where you could, it could be just like Meet Andre, and maybe have it in, have it somewhere, but then people can travel here and have a holiday, not based around seeing Andre, but just they can like come to England and, you know, have a nice holiday here. But then part of their trip would be to meet Andre. I don't know if anyone would want that anyway, it's just, it's my little fantasy.

I've got a lot of fantasies, I don't know all about Andre, luckily. But just think it'd be cool. I just like the idea of, I like the idea of him being part of this, which is why he's, he is part of it.

And he's on the pictures of the podcasts, a lot of them, and I talk about him. And, you know, when I do let me sleep, and he's running around, making a bit of sound, I leave it on there. I do edit out any really loud stuff, hopefully.

And but generally, if it's just his footsteps, or he's just going, you know, sometimes I just leave it in there. Or if it is a big loud fart, which he does, you know, sometimes, depend on how much coke he's drunk. So here's something.

Tomorrow, I start my new diet. Yep, my new diet will be started tomorrow. And I'm going to be using the Slim Fast stuff.

Plus, I've got vitamins as well, nothing to take in. So I've got the Slim Fast drinks to meal replacement. So I'm gonna have one of them a day.

I'm gonna have one meal, which is going to be, I've got vegetables, and I've got that all bought as well, which is going to be coming in delivery. So I've got enough stuff there for the week. And I'm going to be steaming that stuff.

So I'll have one steamed meal a day. I'll have two snacks, both of which are Slim Fast snacks. So I'll have those.

And maybe one will be a banana. One will be a Slim Fast bar or something. And breakfast, I'm not sure.

I'm thinking I might still stick with the Alpen. Because I love Alpen. And it's a nice, I just just like it.

So it's a nice start to the day for me. So I'll have my Alpen. And then I'm going to do that.

And what I've done is, instead of just stopping drinking Coke, I have ordered enough, a packet of Diet Coke, I think it's eight cans or something, which will mean I'm going to have one Diet Coke per day as a treat. Now, I don't like Diet Coke. Or I don't, I hope it's not that I don't like it.

But I just didn't, compared to normal Coke, I didn't really, you know. But this is about, it's not about losing weight, it's about losing fat. You know, it's about getting healthier, really.

And I'm going to be doing some weights and do a bit of exercise as well. This is all part of my 50, being 50. I'm in the second half of my life now.

So I need to, I feel I need to start taking a bit more responsibility for myself. So I've got enough stuff coming to last me for the next week. So it's delivery coming tomorrow.

And so I'm eating pizza, I'm eating pizza tonight. I've got a can of Coke. And I've had a cookie, you know, I'm not overdoing it.

I don't know, you might not believe me, but I never stuff myself with food. I'm not a big eater, never have been, not really. You know, there's been times, obviously, there's been times when I'm so hungry, I could eat, I'll eat a whole pizza in one go.

But that's rare. It's, you know, it's in the same way that I could practically drink like a litre of water in about five minutes. You know, it's a rarity.

I don't normally do that. So, and yeah, so that's my plan. What I did today for my birthday, I went to the garage with my friend and I got some lagers.

I got four cans for him, four cans for me. And we came up here and we were going to have a birthday drink. He didn't have any money, so I bought the cans.

I couldn't even drink half a can of lager. I don't, whatever, whatever that, I don't know, whatever the motivation for drinking is gone. And I used to be a regular drinker, haven't been since I moved in here.

But I couldn't even drink half a can. I chucked it away and I gave him the other three cans on top of his four. And he went downstairs and I went for a nap.

Just didn't, couldn't, couldn't do it. And they were cold and he's like, there's no, can't really think of a reason. Maybe it's the environment.

Maybe it's just sitting in a room, doing nothing. It's boring. If I'd have been in a pub or like an event, like a wedding, it would have been different because there's a lot of stimulation.

And I guess almost I need, I need a bit of alcohol just to get me through it sometimes. Or maybe it's just the wrong alcohol. Maybe perhaps wine would have been better.

But no, I just, I mean, it's not a bad thing to just, it's almost like not allergic, but I just didn't feel very well. Yeah, I did. I don't think I even drunk half of the can.

I'd say it's probably about a quarter. And it was just like this. And I was just bored.

It was like, well, the whole point of drinking is to, well, for me, it's kind of to feel differently and to have fun and whatever. But it didn't affect me that way. I think if anything, because the alcohol used to give me a bus, it used to give me a lift.

But then I wasn't taking medication at the time. I think with my medication, drinking alcohol almost seems to do the opposite. Maybe make you drowsy and stuff.

And I just don't want that. I want to be drowsy. I just listened to one of my recordings.

I'd listen to myself. You might think, yeah, but you're talking, you listen to it. No, no, no.

I've got earplugs in me. I've got no idea what I'm saying. I cannot hear my own voice.

It's brilliant. I think Molly said to me yesterday, she said, I don't know. I sometimes don't know when you're being serious and when you're not.

Yeah, I don't know. I suppose I'd need to be asked a specific thing. But generally, I think it's either I'm being serious or I'm not being serious.

One of those. And even when I'm being serious, I will possibly present it in a way that isn't as serious as maybe the subject would normally be presented. So I'm taking these for 10 minutes from tomorrow.

And I want to see if I can get myself feeling healthier. Because it's been a long time since I felt healthy, physically. And I used to, you know, I used to be really fit, physically fit.

Used to do, you know, at times I used to do a lot of jogging, go to the gym, weightlifting, martial arts, things like that. And it was quite a nice physical feeling connected to that bit of pain as well. But not recently, I felt a little bit, a little bit physically lethargic.

So I'm hoping that maybe a bit of an injection of energy, a change of diet, may be useful. So I'm going to be, for every meal I have is going to be a lot of vegetables, a lot of fresh, all the vegetables are fresh. So during my, nothing that I eat is going to be processed apart from the Alpine breakfast cereal.

And I suppose the drinks, the snacks, all the things, they're all processed, because they're made in packaging and stuff. I don't know how much in the way of processing that is done. I like to think there's a lot less would be in normal food.

But I don't know. You know, I'd like to think that it's healthier. After all, it's kind of supposed to be, isn't it? So that's, that's the coming week.

So no cakes, no chocolate, no normal Coke, no bread. So I'm not going to get any bread. I'm not going to eat any bread.

And it should be all right. I'm still going to be drinking milk with the breakfast cereal. I'm not going to be having Weetabix, which I love Weetabix.

I really do. But there's, you know, the sugar issue. I love the adverts of Weetabix.

I'll show you people put a fruit on it and honey. Yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah, but let's have a realistic advert where you can't even see the Weetabix because the amount of sugar that's piled on top by the child, which is exactly what I used to do when I was a kid.

I was, I want to say a kid for the first 35 years of my life. Now I'm a little bit sparing on sugar. I don't, I don't overdo sugar these days.

But then if you're drinking Coke, you don't need to overdo it because you already get plenty. I think I might have a cup of coffee still every morning as well. So still the morning will be fairly the same cup of coffee, a big bag of muesli coming.

And yeah, so should be pretty much the same morning as normal. Then in between the breakfast and my lunch, I'll have a snack. So it'd be like a cereal bar or energy bar, but you know, one that's made by Slimfast.

And then I will have a delicious a delicious shake. So I have a milkshake that's already in the container. You can buy the powder, which you make yourself.

But I thought for the first week, I'll just buy them in packs. And then packs of four, packs of six. And so I'll just drink those.

So I have one of those. Then I'll have another snack in the afternoon. So I'm thinking maybe a banana.

And in the evening, I'll have like a full dinner. But again, it won't be much because I don't eat much in one go. So just be a couple of potatoes, like small potatoes, and then maybe just leave them in the skin.

And carrots, greens, another cauliflower. I think they're the vegetables I got. So that'll do for the week.

And then I'm not a vegetarian, so I've got chicken. But I'd like to move towards vegetarianism. I used to be a vegetarian.

But because I didn't cook, all I did was eat stuff that was pre-packed, like meals for one. And it's basically cheese, cheese, cheese, everything just seemed to have cheese in it. And there's only so much pasta, I think, that a person can eat before it gets boring.

You know, there's only so many cauliflower and cheeses that I could eat. So although, although, although, although, the good thing about... I mean, eating out is always easy as a vegetarian. But Indian restaurants are really good because they do vegetable curries and stuff like that.

And as far as I'm concerned, it's equal, if not better than the meat dishes. It's still the same flavouring, still the same herbs, still the same powders and curry and whatever. They just have potatoes, more potatoes in there.

So I prefer that kind of curry really. And because a lot of the, a lot of India is vegetarian. I think it's, is it Sikhs that are vegetarian? Or Hindus? And also, you know, there's millions of Buddhists in India.

So they're, they're generally vegetarian. Mind you, the monks weren't. In the old days, I don't know if it's now, if they're begging, because as they say, beggars can't be choosers.

Beggars eat what they're given. So if they go out with their bowl, begging bowl, and the households give them chicken, then they will eat chicken. I think they let it know that they don't really want meat products, because they're Buddhists.

But if that's what people put in their bowl, that's what they eat. That's how it used to be. Beggars can't be choosers.

Literally, in that case. I've done that in the past. I remember years ago, I saw someone outside, I think he was in a tube station.

And I just come out and he's sitting in the entrance of a tube station, asking for spare change. There's no one in the world who has spare change. It's a bit of a weird, weird sentence really, isn't it? But I, you might have had a sign saying, I'm hungry, and stuff like that.

So I went to McDonald's, and I got two cheeseburgers, one for me, one for him. And I handed it to him. He said, what is it? I said, well, it's McDonald's.

Yeah, what is it? So it's a cheeseburger. He said, I don't want that. And I said, okay.

And he handed it back to me. And he said, have you got any spare change? No, I did that, but I just spent it on that cheeseburger for you. At the time, I thought, what an ungrateful donkey.

But the reality is, we have a choice what we put into our tummies, don't we? And just because someone's begging, doesn't mean they have to eat the food you give them. They can choose, they've still got choices. So even though in my mind, I was being kind, or generous or whatever, I perhaps wasn't being considerate.

It's very strange, though, if you get to know a certain... If your foot is in that world, the begging street world, and you get to realize that so many people are not homeless. There's loads of people that are homeless, but a lot of people that are begging are not actually homeless. And a lot of them are just begging for money for their lifestyle.

And you could say choices, but let's maybe not use that word, addictions. And it's just people used to say that to me years ago, well, the only reason they're begging is this. And I used to get so annoyed and say, yeah, but you don't know that.

And that's the bottom line. We don't know, do we? But then when you do know, you know, so if you live in a local place where you can actually... You've got someone that points out people that they're not homeless, they're not... They're just... And you know people are actually on the streets begging, and they're not homeless. They've got a council flat or whatever.

It does sort of start making you think, oh, well, how many are the others? I think you can almost tell. Some are really genuine. You can tell if someone's really, really homeless.

A lot you can't tell. And some just look way too smart. I've seen homeless people wearing clothes, better clothes than me, clean fingernails, tidy, nice hair, haircut.

And it's like, wait a minute, you're begging. Almost I felt like asking one for a job, you know, to be a trainee. But I think some of the homeless people that I've seen are actually just... They'll just sit there.

They don't even ask for money. They just sit there. And they're the ones... But everyone needs help.

But I don't know. Sometimes I think the more you get to know... Well, I found the more I get to know some groups of people and their problems, maybe you get too close and lose that. Lose a little bit of compassion.

Maybe, you know, if you keep trying to help someone and nothing you do actually works, and they just continue doing what they're doing, it does get a little bit like, oh, what's the point? Why am I trying to help them? Yeah, I want to... I'd like to be more compassionate. I don't know. I don't know why I'm even talking about this.

I didn't even knew why. It's a weird community though. Because it is a community.

The people begging on the streets is a community. And of course, you know, a few of them are sleeping on the streets. A few of them are homeless, as in they haven't got their own home, sleeping on other people's sofas and stuff.

That is homeless, of course. Then some people do have their own accommodation, their own flat. And it's so easy, people love to generalize.

Like, you know, one person's got a council flat and they beg on the streets. Therefore, everyone that begs on the streets has got a council flat or social housing. So it's like, well, it's clearly not.

Generalizing, it's very comfortable, isn't it? You know, I quite like generalizing. It feels right. But at the same time, I know it's not always.

Right. But it can be useful. Kind of.

I had a weird dream, a weird dream. I went back, and I've done this a couple of times, back to the Buddhist community. But it's in a different place now.

Different people, different house, everything. Which might be the case, there might actually be another one there. And so I moved in.

And I was like, Andre, how did you get in there? Very strange. The amount of times Andre's in my dreams. You know, I'll be somewhere and he's with me.

And I'll take him. Well, I had one dream. And seriously, some of these dreams are so vivid.

And they go on for hours. And sometimes I go back to the dreams a few nights later. And there's a dream where Andre, he was with me.

But then other ferrets arrived. And I was losing track of who was who. It's very strange.

Very weird. But then I don't know how often he's actually lying on me, licking my face when I'm asleep. I'm sure he's just testing me.

I'm sure he wants to eat me one day. He's looking forward to it. So I'm going to make sure that there's always plenty of food in a bowl for him.

Just, you know, just to last him at least a few weeks, or a few days at least. Oh, I used to love watching The Addams Family and the monsters. I found the monsters funnier, I think.

But you know what I liked about them? I like the fact that they're in black and white. And the reason they're in black and white is because they were made in the 60s. But the great horrors from those times, you know, a lot of great hammer, maybe not hammer, but some of the older horrors, Frankenstein, Dracula, all that stuff were in black and white.

And I think it added to it. It almost made it feel more gothic, more atmospheric. So because The Addams Family and the monsters were both very similar, in a sense, weren't they? They're both two monster families, both living in a huge house, and having adventures.

And, you know, I love both of them. I haven't seen them for years. Last time I saw I think the monsters used to be on in the afternoon in about 2006 or 2007.

And I used to have my sandwiches in the staff room, which had about six chairs in it. And it'd be a TV and I'd be watching it. And then they would, someone would come in and turn it over.

I'm watching this crap. That was, I'm not sure if I turned it back or not. I don't know.

But I used to really enjoy watching it. Just to feel good, like a feel good feeling of feeling good, feeling wise. You know what I mean? Here's a weird thing.

I found out the, I've already told you, I got offered a job in London. This is before I moved to London. And accommodation included.

But without telling me what the job was. Seriously. It was something like handing out magazines or something like that.

And it only, only kind of dawned on me that that's probably a cult that I was, would have been getting involved in, whether it was the Moonies or some kind of organization. I was like, wow. So I could have ended up living somewhere.

I was young as well. I was only, I think I was about 18 when I was looking at doing that. Maybe even younger.

And I phoned them up and they said, yeah, just come down. Come on down. We've got accommodation for you.

You'll get paid pocket money of, I don't know, 20 pound a week or something like that. Everything's paid for. Food, everything.

Clothes. Vaseline. You get to go to the clinic every two weeks to check yourself out.

I said, rewind. What did you say? He said, if you get your rent and your food covered. He said, no, no.

Fast forward. They said, said what? I said, don't worry. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll get back to you.

So I've got no idea what they were planning. But it would have been. I mean, to do something like that without a safety net would have been just really bad, I reckon.

So I didn't do it in the end, but I did think about it. I think I might have been homeless myself at the time. I've been homeless loads of times when I was younger.

I always managed to avoid the sort of being on the streets begging. I was very fortunate and I was never far from that, but I was fortunate never to have to do it. That scared me, proper scared me.

Yeah. I remember years ago, I saw one of the people that was begging in my town. It was Christmas Eve and he walked into the shop and was, uh, you know, the corner news agents, tobacconist, whatever you want to call that.

And he walked in, he said, Oh, I'll get a hundred, a hundred of those scratch cards. A hundred. And he, he basically handed over a hundred pound in fives, one pound coins, 10 pound notes.

And I was thinking, wow, he's been given a hundred pound, probably not by one person, but I guess society's fairly generous on a Christmas Eve. I mean, he might have won something, but I've done the same thing. You will win.

You'll get some winning cards if you buy a hundred, but the likelihood is it won't come to more than what you paid. My split up with my girlfriend back in, just before I started doing this, it was beginning of 2006, split up with my girlfriend and I bought a hundred scratch cards and I won, I think I won about 50, 40, 50 pounds, something like that, 48 pound. So I went and bought another 48 scratch cards and I did that.

I think I won pretty much every time. And I went back about six times and then I ended up with nothing. And then I went home.

It probably wasn't the same day, but it was in the same week. I decided to start offering a free hypnosis service. And that's kind of where this kind of came from.

2006, although I already had tried to do in 2004, but I can't have given up because I've gotten nowhere. But this time I had, I think, how many was it? 10,000 or 100,000 leaflets printed. To be fair, it might've been 100,000.

It was a big, big order, expensive. I think I spent 800 pounds or something. And I delivered them locally and I just spent weeks doing that.

And then I started getting people phoning me up. And then I started volunteering in a place, charity for alcohol addiction. And then I started doing group sessions and I started recording them, making CDs.

And then I started putting the recordings on the website. Yeah. Then I worked in another one and then I decided to want to become a counsellor because I liked the people I worked with.

Then I left, did the counselling course, ended up in a different town, continued with the free service that I did online and I kept growing. And then I became a counsellor full time for a few years and then I got a job. And then a few things happened and five years ago, I moved in here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And here I am. Here I am.

So that was 2006, 2007, 8, 9, 2010, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20. So yeah, it's pretty much 15 years. 2006, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.

Over 14 years anyway. So 14 and a half years or something like that. Time really does fly by.

So what I'm going to do, yeah. So in 10 years time, I'll make another live broadcast on the 60th birthday and see how that goes. So until then, remember to take care of yourself because you deserve to be happy.

Lots of love. Bye.