#456 Let Me Bore You To Sleep - MY WEBSITE IS BACK -Jason Newland (21st July 2020)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com, my name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Please only listen and you can safely close your eyes and yeah, that's it, what do I normally talk about? Oh, man. Oh, blimey, blimey, blimey.

So my laptop broke yesterday. And I made a recording. Let Me Bore You to Sleep.

I think it's 455. Wow. I can't believe I got past 10.

And basically, I couldn't, I couldn't edit the thing. I was trying to find a way of editing, trying to find a way of uploading it, then downloading it, then editing it, and then uploading it again. It took me hours.

Literally, I was, I finished the recording about 10 past 12 in the morning. And I was, I finished uploading it at three. That's how long it took me to find a way to do it.

So I found an app. Let me have a look at my iPad. Oh, iPad.

Let's see if I can turn the volume down so it doesn't. Okay. Originally, where is it? Oh, I might have got rid of it.

Where is it? WavePad. I found WavePad. And it's free.

Free. I don't know what that means. It's free.

But very basic. And I was having so much trouble. I kind of figured out how to fade in and fade out.

I did in the beginning. Because it's always pretty bad 30 seconds, maybe a minute of me faffing around before the actual recording starts. Which you're not gonna really want to listen to.

And then at the end, you know, I leave probably 10-20 seconds before I press the off button, or the stop recording button. So the first thing I do when I edit is, well, first of all, I have to upload it. So record it on the Spreaker Recorder app.

And then I upload it. And then I go to usually on the laptop, go to the speaker and download it. So I'm doing this on the iPad now.

So I can do it with. So look, let's make sure I don't, I'm not telling any lies. You know what I mean? It's all about honesty.

Yeah. I think it was. Okay.

Yeah. With Google Chrome, I wasn't able to download it just wouldn't let me download. So I've used the Safari.

And it has let me to download. So I downloaded it. Then I didn't know where it downloaded to.

So I tried to open it up. I found it eventually. Edited it on WavePad, which is an app that I downloaded for free.

And I always used to use Audacity. Because I was, I'm not going to say I'm an expert on Audacity, but I've used it so many 13 years or 12 years or whatever. So I know my way around that editing platform.

And it's free as well. Although I did pay for a paid version. Which I kind of didn't need to, but I got the disc from the website, I think.

Anyway, I... That's Andre. Bless him. He's a bit, I don't know, he's a bit restless.

He keeps running between the bag and the tunnel, the new tunnel he's got. So I also want to say thank you to Jade, who sent another two tunnels. There's one in the bedroom and one the other side of the room as well.

So he's but he, for some reason he loves that one, the original one. But I think as he sort of gets to realise the others are there, he'll probably start going to sleep there as well. Especially in the winter when the radiator is on.

Because it'd be cosy, but it'll be, he'll be separated from the radiator, you know, because it will be inside the tunnel. He's all tuckered out. I took him, well, he took me for a long walk into the fields tonight.

He's very restless. It's a bit chilly up here now. I don't know why.

It is summer, isn't it? 21st of July, is that summer? It won't be probably if you're in Australia, but, you know, a lot of the world, or the Antarctic, that's, I suppose, never summer, is it? If there's an iceberg outside your house, can you ever really class it as summer? Well, you live on an iceberg. Anyway, it'd be slippery, wouldn't it? What was I talking about? Oh, you were talking about something. Yeah, so I took him for a walk.

So eventually, yeah, so I got my... I was getting really a little bit frustrated, if I'm honest with you, because I couldn't upload it with me going... You know, just, you know, the normal noises that I make when I'm not recording. And I thought, man, what am I going to do? So eventually, I kept trying different ways of recording it. But with WavePad, it wouldn't download as an mp3, only as a WAV file, which was about 600 megabytes.

And it's very long, very large file. Usually, it'd be about 100 megabytes for an mp3. Anyway, after a lot of fluffering and buffering, I managed to do it.

As I said, it took nearly three hours of my life. So today, I was determined. In fact, yeah, determined to find something else that I can use that works better, that I can, you know, that I could find that's been recommended.

So I went online, did some research. And I settled, I settled, I have decided on a editing app called Twisted Wave. And it's, it's a, it's an editing, but it's pretty good.

It's very quite similar actually to Audacity, which is something I quite liked when I looked at it. But it's not free, it's not free. So £9.99 to download it, but it's a one off payment.

So it's not like a monthly thing. But let me hope not. So I downloaded it, it's going to get a lot of use, you know, every single recording I do.

Because with the other one that I did last night, I couldn't go through it and delete any of the loud noises or bangs or anything like that. With this one, I can, I can magnify it, I can cut bits off, I can loop stuff, I can even equalize it, or increase the volume, all kinds of stuff. Yeah, it's just probably a lot better than Audacity.

But as long as it's as good as Audacity, I'm happy. So Twisted Wave is the editing app that I'm now using on my iPad. I played around with it today.

There's a lot of stuff on there that I don't know how to use. Because what I do is fairly basic. As far as just listening to the recording, noticing any spikes, listening to see if the spike is like really loud or, and trying to sort of, you know, either delete that that noise or soften it down.

And I think it's going to work really well. It also saves an mp3. And as I said, I played around a bit today.

And yeah, I'm pleased. I'm pleased with that. And what I'm probably going to do, because I figure if I'm going to use it, I might as well work out how to use it.

I know how to use it. But like properly, you know, maybe, maybe it's time that I put a bit more effort into the production side of things. I started looking at ways of getting a better production.

I thought that my production was pretty good now compared to how it used to be. But I'm not sure. I'm not really sure because even when I was listening to yesterday's recording, there was like a background humming or of some kind.

Of course, you got what is a plane or something going past. That's a weird noise there. I don't know what that was.

The thing is, I, with my laptop, it was always humming. So I assumed any backgrounds like humming was the laptop itself. And I never listened with headphones.

I was, well, I suppose I should have done it, maybe. But I need to get a special adapter, the headphones for the iPad, because the normal headphones don't work. So I'm stupid for using them.

Ridiculous, really. Why bring an iPad out and an iPhone out that have two different sockets? Both produced at the same time, but two different sockets. So that one goes, you need two different charges and two different types of headphones.

Although, admittedly, I've got wireless so I can listen with the wireless headphones. So I'm just moaning about nothing. Forget me.

Forget what I said. So it's, yeah, I'm kind of thinking, have all of my recordings had like a humming background? Like that. Some kind of aboriginal nightmare.

Is it really? I don't know. Also, I started watching Get Shorty. It's the third season.

I'm so happy it's back. It's one of my favorite TV shows. It's on, I don't know what channel it's on.

But it's called Get Shorty anyway. And the two main characters, I forget his name's Irish, he's really he's well known. Even in, well, you know, and the other one is Raymond.

Everyone loves Raymond. Raymond, him. He's the second star of the show.

He's so different as well. It's just I love him. I think he's one of those people that I'd like to meet.

And I know that he's going to be nothing like, nothing like his character, you know, he's what he might be. But he's just, I think he's amazing. Such a, such a talent.

Anyway, and the, let me find out his name. I've been very lazy. I've got all this access to the internet in front of me, but I'm not using it because, you know, I like to give you my undivided attention.

Normally. Okay, Get Shorty. Season three.

Is there a season four? No. You're joking me. November.

You're messing with my head here. It says that season three was first aired in October 2019. So why am I only just seeing it? Why did it take so long to get onto Sky? Well, not Sky, but now TV.

Chris O'Dowd. So the stars of the show, Chris O'Dowd, Ray Romano, Sean Bridges, and Carolyn Dodd, and a few other people. You're joking.

So why? I mean, what, July? Why? It's like it aired nine months ago. That's ridiculous. I've never been more angry in my life.

Anyway, I'm really enjoying watching it. So that's good. Nine months.

Why? Let me see what... Doesn't say what channel it was on. It's got to say surely. Premiere at the annual ATX Television Awards.

Nevermind, doesn't matter. Anyway, so why is it wearing me right up? Hang on. So I was glad to see I was back.

Now TV, at normal costs, was it £7.99 a month. And I cancelled with them about six months ago. And they said, if you stay, we'll offer it to you for £1.79 a month, or something like that.

I think they said for three months. And then a couple of months ago, they said, we're going to extend it for another three months, four months or something because of what's going on. So they wanted to sort of keep me as a customer because I'm so important.

Yes, that's right. So I've learned a little bit how to use Twisted Wave. So I'm okay with that.

That's good. And then I'm looking at video, video file or video editing apps as well. I mean, I've got as part of the iPad that comes with this GarageBand, which is good in a sense that you can create your own song.

Here is something I did a few weeks back. And it's basically with GarageBand, you can create your own songs. And it's got beats, it's got like drums, keyboard, all that kind of stuff.

So I thought, I wonder if I can do an intro tune. So this is what I came up with. Trust me, you're never going to hear it again.

I'm so proud of myself. Just on another level, isn't it? Wow. And you might think, how did I get my voice to sound like a chipmunk? That's actually how I sound.

It's not always how I sound. I don't sing that high all the time. I can't sing quite high or quite low, indeed.

That's me singing. Anyway, I'm going to get rid of that. It's quite good because it's got all these different instruments and everything.

So I need to, I'm a little bit worried that if I start getting into that, I might get a little bit obsessed. Obsessed, I tell you. So yeah, it's quite cool.

But for editing, I didn't seem to really find it very easy to edit stuff. It's probably really easy, but I didn't find it. So let's go put this over there for a second.

That's it. I've got another thing last night or this morning. And it's called, it's an app called, where is it? Redly or Readly.

Oh, I'm already a member. Okay, here we go. Done.

Continue. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. What am I doing? That's not the right one.

That's it. Oh, dear. Andre Shush.

So basically what this is, is it's loads of magazines. Here we go. Loads of magazines, hundreds, I think, of magazines you can read, including back issues.

And it's, how much is it a month? I got it for free for the, for free. Yeah, this is weird. Okay.

It was an advert on Facebook. I've seen it a few times, and I thought, and then I thought, okay. So I clicked on that, the advert, and it's offering me, I think, um, yeah, seven, $7.99 a month after two months free.

Something like that. It says free for two months, and then if you don't want it, you just cancel. Yes.

So I thought, I'll give it a go. It's free. And then I thought, well, to save myself having to put in my details, on the website, I'll just download the app.

So I downloaded the app, signed up on the app, and it said it's going to cost £9.99 a month, and you get two days free. It's like, what? How? What? So once I thought, well, I'll leave that then. So I've kind of come out of that and signed up on the website.

I thought that was a bit strange that they would do that. Why would they just offer everybody new? Anyway, um, signed up on the website, and they said, you need to download the app. So I've already downloaded the app.

So I signed up on the website with a different email address to the one that I originally did. And it says that I've logged in now. It's better to read on the tablet rather than on the phone.

The link is in my eyesight, but it's pretty good. Loads of stuff. So I'm going to be using that.

I've not got it for myself to read. I've got it so that I can read stuff out on here. Let's see.

You know me, it's all about you. It's all about, it's all about doing stuff here. So I've got, um, what is this focus magazine, the ultimate guide to your genes, DIY ancestry kits on test, designer, but what? So you click on it and then underneath, there's a picture of the front page and underneath you've got small little pictures of all the pages of the magazine.

So this one goes up to page 97, which I'm guessing is the back page. You just click on whichever page you want to look at, or, and then you can just skip through. So if you want to skip, go to page one, you can do that and just, you know, skip.

To me, doesn't, yeah, it's just too small on the, on the phone. Um, saying that it's doable cause you know, yeah, you can enlarge it, can't you? With a, with a smartphone, you can just like click on it, but even when it's enlarged, it's not really, I can do it, but it's a little bit too small. So that's, this is quite good.

So there's a few magazines. So hopefully I should find some funny stuff and some boring stuff. There's loads, I mean, popular from the United States.

Maxim. You know what I really know? Well, you won't know until I tell you. What I noticed is some of these magazines are so cocky, really.

They're so confident of themselves that they assume that you don't even know the name. Don't need to know. You don't need to see the title of the, the edition to purchase it.

See Maxim, I'm guessing it's Maxim, but there's got a lady on the front of that and her head is covering up the X. No, it's covering up the A and the X. So all you've got is Min. Don't you think that's a bit cocky? A bit full of themselves. They're not the only ones, I saw some others there.

There is, so these are ones that are popular in America, like Men's Health. It's got Men's Health because they've got, what's his name? Mark Wahlberg. His head is covering up the H and the E. And you might say that's a little bit petty.

You might be right, to be fair. Oh my God, Guns and Ammo Enhanced. That's a magazine you're not going to see in the UK.

Wow. They've got Murder Weekly. Oh my goodness.

Guns Enhanced, a magazine about guns. Wow. They've got a magazine for people who like to stab.

Stabby Monthly. Oh my goodness. 84 pages.

The thing is, I love the look of a gun. And I shouldn't really say that because we're in in the UK, in England, but it's, guns are, well, apart from being illegal, unless you're a farmer or a police person or in the military. Yeah, I guess that's the three.

We've had that video three times. Yeah, I think that's probably it. But even the police don't carry guns.

They think they do, but they're tasers. They use tasers like guns. So instead of how tasers are supposed to be used, is you only unholstered them in the event of a situation that required it.

But from watching quite a few police programs, documentaries and stuff, where they're being filmed, they've been watching too many American shows, like Starsky and Hutch, and maybe more up to date TV shows, where they're actually knocking on people's doors and then pulling out their little tasers and saying, put your hands up, or there'll be tasers. And there's someone standing there, there's like four people surrounding him with their tasers pointed. That wasn't what it was for.

That wasn't the point of tasers. And I've realized what it is, is when you normalize something, people don't question it. Now I guarantee you, I put money on it.

I've only got £1.72, so I put all my money I've got on this. If you sifted through all of these, because I know in America, you had a TV show called Cops, I think. I don't know if it was a documentary or drama or what, but we have lots of different versions of following the police around.

Loads of different ones, from different Essex police, different areas. And they're usually on quite late at night. I reckon if you got every single episode of those, it would last five years, because it's only really the last few years that they've been showing those stuff regularly.

I reckon you'll find quite a few cases, quite a few scenarios where the police are kneeling on the, not patient, or soon to be patient probably, but kneeling on the person they're arresting, kneeling on a place they're not supposed to be kneeling. So I haven't got the resources to go through, or the patience to go through every single recording. I'm sure I could find most of the recordings online somewhere, most of the episodes.

I think that'd be interesting. And I reckon if they did it in America, they did it in every country that has those kinds of shows, to realise this has been done for years. And if it's on camera, it's normalised.

And people don't question it. It's like, well, they're showing it on telly, so it must be okay. The Trash Heap has spoken.

Spotify charts, Spotify podcasts have now released charts, and I'm not on any of them. There. I'm not on any of them.

I'm not in any of the top 10, or 20, or even 100. I wanted to be. I really wanted to be.

So they're putting Jason. So Jason Derulo comes up before me. How dare he? But if I put in N.E.W., then all of my stuff comes up.

It doesn't come up. I was really hoping that I'd be... I didn't expect to be in the top 20 or anything like that, because there's people that are getting millions of listens, and getting paid millions of dollars as well. I just thought I'd perhaps be in the top 100 of one of the categories.

But maybe that's just me being a little bit optimistic, I would say. Yeah, a bit optimistic. But you know, it's worth a try.

I was going through all of them. I kind of got to be in the health, or the self-help section. But nope.

Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. So my website will be up and running in about four hours time. So that's good.

By the way, if anyone gets an email from a Jeffrey Hardman, and it says backs payment confirmation, it's a scam. Basically, please find your latest remittance. I clicked on it as an image and it takes you... if you've got an iPhone, it tells you it's a scam website.

But I don't know if it's going to... if you open it up on your laptop or something, it might not give you that information. So it might... it might download a virus. So just I'd delete it from you if you ever get something like that.

In fact, what I'm going to do now is delete it. Delete. Delete.

That's it. Right. So let's see if I've got some messages.

I know that I should read these first because I'm probably going to be fast asleep if I get to read them. Yeah. Oh yeah, this is a message I got from Cindy.

I was going to read it yesterday. But I didn't have time because I was waffling on about something. I'll just have a little drink.

This is from Cindy. First of all, Jason, I want to thank you for all that you do. So this is from the 19th of July.

So it's a few days ago. More two days ago. Also, yeah, I want to thank you for all that you do.

I absolutely love your podcasts. Please can you stop farting? Cindy, I've never farted in my life. The good thing about being a podcaster, you can't see my nose grow.

Trust me, with a nose this size, you don't want to see it get any bigger. It's made a hole in the wall. Also, I want to tell you that in order for you to cover the costs of you giving a free service, a couple of simple commercials at the beginning of your podcast would not bother me whatsoever.

When I start your podcast every night to help me put me to sleep, I'm just down at lying down. I don't fall asleep till you start to talk for a few minutes. You are what puts me to sleep.

Thank you. I do. That's, yeah, thanks.

I like that. You think some people thought that maybe the adverts are just not relaxing enough. I can't fall asleep when the adverts are on.

Yeah, but they're not supposed to. But that's cool. It's what happens after the adverts does the main thing, although there's no adverts on there at the moment.

I'm also a person on a very, very tight budget, and I understand how it is to be conservative financially. You already provide a free service to listen to 60 to 120 seconds worth of commercials. It's not a lot for people to have to do.

Plus people have the option to go to the website when it is up to download podcast commercial free. Yeah. All my recordings on my website currently, well, there will be about three hours time, but generally they are.

I was at about 1800, something like that, 1700. You can download them all for free. I know everyone has opinions, but you can't possibly make everybody happy.

I would hate if you not to continue the service that you provide due to financial difficulties. I get the sense that you truly love what you're doing and everyone that listens to you loves that you do it. Once again, thank you for all that you do.

So I did reply, you're very kind. Please talk about me farting. I've never farted in my life.

Thank you. That's a lovely message. Very long message.

Thank you very much. Um, yeah, I liked the bit about, um, what is that? Yeah. You are what puts me to sleep.

So I like that. So thank you, Cindy. That's very kind of you.

Um, I've had a few messages. I didn't read it like yesterday because of time. And Jason, I think you need to put your, the ads on just pay, just pay for podcasts and website.

Please think about it again. I know people complain about them, but they just have to live with it. And I'm sad about your modeling career has abruptly ended.

So that was Rachel. Um, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly. Mentioning that I'm going to be old soon.

Molly. You know, when I said earlier that I've never been so angry. Well, now I definitely never been so angry.

I was practically ecstatically happy back then. Now. So, uh, old, old, uh, Brianna, where are you? What else have I got? There's got to be some other messages.

Oh, there's always messages from Sebastian. I should have kept him blocked. So Jacqueline says, uh, so hi, Jacqueline.

Is it? I think it's Jacqueline or Jacqueline. Hi, Jason. Listening to one of your podcasts, you said you had never seen an ice cream woman.

Well, there is one. And she says at Highbury Fields Park in Islington. Oh, I thought you meant that you were, you were that person.

Oh, there is one. She says, it's not you. Oh, I thought I read that.

It's like, she is, there is one and she's, it was you. Anyway. Well, there is one.

And she says at Highfield, Highbury Fields Park in Islington. She's been there for years. Oh, by the way, salad cream and cheese go so good together.

Yeah, definitely. Keep up your fantastic podcasts. Love your conversations too.

Big love to Andre. Conversations. It's only me.

Do you mean me talking to Andre? Well, I said, brilliant. I shall have a mint cornetto, please. It doesn't make sense now because she wasn't talking about herself, were you? Jacqueline, I thought you meant you were the one that sells ice creams.

Actually, when I was talking about ice cream, it wasn't people serving ice cream. It was the vans. But that might be what you mean as well.

I mean, I've never, I've never seen a woman driving around. I've seen women. I live in Dubai, Dubai, because women have only just started driving there, haven't they? But I don't, like as a kid, don't recall it ever being, I don't think there was even a lollipop lady.

There was a lollipop man. Of course, there were lollipop ladies, but I just didn't experience them. But I don't think I've seen a lollipop man for probably about 40 years.

It's all women now. Maybe they always used to be mainly ladies and then men did it as well. Maybe it's just people did whatever they did.

But there was this lollipop man, he used to live up the road, well, I don't know where he lived. But he used to be up the road that we used to cross to go to school. Just outside the estate that I used to live when I was about seven, seven.

Yeah. And every day was lovely every day. What flavor is your lollipop today? And he'd say strawberry, raspberry, you know, different flavors.

Apart from when he was grumpy, he was a bugger off. So it's a bit of metal. You know, the gentleman he was like, he was really friends.

It wasn't the same though, because another person took over. So I guess he was on holiday or he died or something. And he was never any of that.

What flavors your lolly? What flavors your lollipop today? What flavors your lollipop today? Can we just get across the road, please? So what am I in trouble? He said, yeah. So what are you going to do? Ban me from crossing the road? And he said, I remember he said to me, never forget this. He looked at me and I said, this conversation never actually happened to them.

Just making it up for your podcast. And regretting making up because it's not very funny. Because it's not going anywhere with this conversation.

And you kind of wish that you hadn't started it. I said, yeah, you're right. It does happen sometimes.

He said it happens too often. I said, I'm gonna be arsey about it. At least I'm giving it a go.

What do you do with your life? He said, well, actually, I'm a retired surgeon, but due to Parkinson's, I couldn't do the surgery anymore. But I'd like to help out and volunteer in, you know, doing this, helping children and also volunteering as scouts. And yeah, okay.

Yes. I thought, oh, I feel really bad now. I was only seven.

So that's what I said. I was only seven. I said, you know, you know what you said to me? You're so childish.

He said, well, I'm seven. He said, you're so childish. So immature.

I said, what you say is what you are. And I ran off. I didn't know what to do.

You know, when people are just, unlike the original lollipop man, what flavour is your lolly today? It's banana. What a great way to start the day. You know, start the day, obviously, because that'd be weird, wouldn't it, if you woke up and went down to the dinner table.

What flavour is the lollipop today? Jason, sit down and have your breakfast. Cornflakes. Cornflakes are what you bitch.

No lollipops. You've just woken up. Will you just eat your breakfast and shut up? What flavour is the lollipop? Anyway, that was from Jacqueline.

I got a message from Sebastian. I got about a thousand messages a day from him. He's so rude, everything he wrote.

I can't read any of his messages out. He wants to send me a picture of a psychiatric unit for my birthday, you know, to put on my wall. It's Broadmoor, very famous.

It's so rude. He wrote to me, he said, whatever became of your USA trip, and then in capitals, let me guess. Well, actually, I could make out, I could make up saying, well, nothing came of it because of the current world circumstances, you know, with travelling and stuff.

I'd be lying. I'm not lying that that's happening, but I'd be lying because I don't know what happened. I think I just stalled.

So for those who don't know about this, an absolutely amazing, amazing person called Brooke offered me an opportunity, invited me to go to America and to do some talks about hypnosis and what I do to her university students. And I diddled, and I daddled, and I whittled, and I waddled, and I didn't, well, it just didn't come about. I mean, maybe it will, maybe it might still come about.

I don't know. Of course, this year has not been able to because most universities haven't been open for a lot of the year. I'm so glad I didn't get onto that university course now, because I was supposed to have started my degree in January, the master's.

I got funding, but the university turned me down. Can you believe it? The admissions turned me, me, they turned me down. They turned me down.

And it was positive psychology. It's like something I really need, I think, but would really, it would just help me so much, not just for on a personal level, but I can incorporate what I learn into the hypnosis stuff that I do. And I try to do it anyway, but it's, because the stuff that I do, most of it, it's fairly positive.

I try and make it positive. It's positively, positively something, I'm not quite sure what. But anyway, I didn't get on, but luckily, kind of lucky, because if I had to go on, what would I have done? Well, I got a message from Ella, Ella, Ella.

I can't help but say that, Ella, Ella, because of the Umbrella song. Of course, if you listen to this Ella and people have been saying that to you, and it's annoying, I apologize. I generally do apologize because it's annoying when people go on and want to know another QEP in it.

And it's kind of what I do, isn't it? But something that sounds funny almost becomes brilliant, doesn't it? It's like, will you shut up? So I won't do it anymore, Ella. Ella, Ella, sorry, I'm stuck on myself. I'm not sure if I wrote this out, but hi, Jason, I just want to say thank you.

Your podcast has got me through my three years of uni, and I've just got my first job as a primary school teacher. I wouldn't have been able to do any of that without good sleep. I have to say your recent podcast about being a bra fitter was amazing.

I've never been so entertained while, I've never been You need to get out more. I'd love a little shout out. I've been listening for years, and after laughing so much at that brilliant bra fitted podcast, I thought I have to send a message of love to you and Andre.

Thank you, Ella. And I think I might have read it out. If I read it out twice, and hey, it was a nice message.

It was worth reading out twice. So there, I don't care what you think. Did it, done it, it's done.

I'll read it out again tomorrow if I want. Because I can. I think that's all the messages.

I don't think there is any others. Oh, there might be. Nadia, she wrote me a message saying, Hey, love listening to Let Me Void Sleep.

Can't help out with money now. I didn't know it was so expensive to have a podcast. Found this page, maybe check it out, podbean.com. Sorry, I'll try to help later on.

Thanks for everything. That's cool. Thank you.

You know, when I ask for help and stuff, I'm not, I'm never aiming it at a particular person. It's just generally anyone that wants to help to pay for the stuff. And I have had help and it's really brilliant.

I mentioned them all yesterday. So the thing with Podbean is it's all on one. I'm actually on Podbean anyway.

So if you go to Podbean. Okay, where is it? Podbean, I've got the app on my phone. So if you go into Podbean, get started now, come on.

And I search Let Me Void. Yep, there you go. Let Me Void Sleep.

Wow, I didn't realize I just had a message. See, I don't go onto the, I need to go onto the apps. More often to see because there's messages that are left and I forget.

I don't get to see them comments. Nicole wrote two months ago. Sorry that you have to deal with a-holes.

I love your show. Listen every night and it really helps me a lot. Thank you.

So I'm going to reply. Thank you. Nicole.

Oh, now it's trying to get me to sign up. I don't want to sign up. Anyway, so I'm on Podbean.

So I'm on Podbean. All of my podcasts are on there. But they wouldn't be on there if it wasn't for the Spreaker.

So I've got quite a few on there. And I don't know which one's the, from the looks of it. Okay, Let Me Void Sleep.

1,200 listens. It's not really a lot though, is it? Considering. It looks like the Let Me Void Sleep is the most popular of my podcasts on Podbean, which is cool.

In fact, it's very cool. Anyway, with Podbean, they are good. And I've been on them many times.

I've actually used them many times. And they've got, if I'm right, I think it's 12 pound or something a month, unlimited audio. You can also get unlimited video for like a higher amount.

The thing is, it's everything in one place. Again, it's not. It's just, yeah, it's just, it doesn't, because my individual podcasts have got an audience individually.

I know I've kind of mentioned this. I'm not sort of trying to show off, although it's not really a show you off thing, is it? But they've all got their own audience. So Hypnosis for Sleeping Deeply, the main podcasts I've got.

Hypnosis for Sleeping Deeply, Let Me Void Sleep, Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Sleep Insomnia Hypnosis, Sleep Hypnosis Weekly. I've got others, but they're kind of the main ones. And I'll Deep Sleep Whisper as well.

I forgot about that. How could I forget that one? Blimey. But the thing is, even though I get more feedback from the Let Me Void Sleep podcast, this one, than from any others, it isn't my most popular podcast.

It might seem hard to believe. I mean, I find it hard to believe. In fact, I'm amazed that the whole world doesn't listen to it.

Anyway, for this podcast, in the last two years, is it two? It's not two years yet. Or is it? No, it'd be two years in, I think, November. Anyway, but since I've had these podcasts up on the speaker, the Let Me Void Sleep is 167,000 downloads or plays.

Which is actually quite low compared to the others. And though Sleep Hypnosis, shush. Why is he going to the front door? He wants to do a poo right near the front door.

That's why. Because he finds it funny that I might be treading it, rushing to answer the door. He gets his kicks from things like that.

Seriously, he's just messed up. The Sleep Hypnosis Weekly, 81,200. So that's quite low.

But considering there's a hell of a lot of less recordings there. Hypnosis Deep Sleep Whisper, 230,000. Relaxation for Stress, that's 268,000.

And then you've got Sleep Insomnia Hypnosis, 278,000. And then the one at the top is Hypnosis for Sleeping Deeply, 301,000. So it just goes to show, I'm not quite sure what it goes to show.

It goes to show that this podcast is not the most popular one. Andre, will you be quiet? He did that on purpose. This wasn't a real sneeze.

That was definitely a real one. Andre, do you want to give a cuddle? Do you want to cuddle? He took me for a walk. I tell you, this is weird.

I walked around the block, through the park and then out this alleyway and there was a man standing there talking. I couldn't see who he was talking to. And I thought, I wonder if this dog's there.

Because some people have their dogs off the lead. And I think they look at Andre and think that he's a scrummy little snack. And I think he's licking himself and he's making himself sneeze because he's getting a hair's call in his throat.

Stop it, Andre. Stop doing that. And so I turned the corner.

I've kind of, I've got him on the floor, but at the same time, I'm about to pick him up, you know, sort of ready to sort of grab him. And there was three dogs there. Two of them started barking at Andre.

And they were on the leads. The one off the lead just looked over like, no, not really interested. But the one with the two dogs said, oh, it's the ferret man.

And I said, oh, hello. And I started to think, is that an insult being called the ferret man? I don't know. I'm not sure.

I'm not always very good at insults. Anyway, Andre took me for a long walk. And then I carried him back.

And he just loves being outside. And there's one point because it was getting a little bit dusk. It wasn't dark, but it was dusk.

And he just melts into the environment. I mean, you know, he's supposed to be in the countryside living on a farm, basically, underground and playing with the rabbits. I say playing, but you know what I mean.

And when he was lying down, he just, he was part of the environment. He just, you can hardly see him. I said that to him.

He said, well, perhaps you could see him if you turn around. I'm over here. Turn around and all over.

It's just so such a great place for him to be. It's where he should be. And I was walking back room and thinking, oh, I wonder if I'm giving him the right life.

Is he getting what he needs? But then I start thinking, he's getting a lot of exercise, which can't be good. It's gotta be good for him. He's not stuck in a cage all the time, or most of the time, or at the moment, any of the time, really.

But occasionally I have to put him in there. It's been pretty good the last week. So I'm sort of letting him just do what he wants.

Although he's still, he's got, there's two things that he does, right? He's got his habit. He, between half six and seven, he wakes up, comes looking at me and stares at me because he wants his dinner. Every single day, pretty much, half six to seven, sometimes a little bit earlier, but between six and seven, that's his time.

Usually nearer to the seven o'clock mark, dinner time. And then he wakes me up at four in the morning. So if I've gone to bed at maybe three or four, he wakes me up at usually about quarter past six, half past, between quarter past six and quarter to seven.

Around that kind of time, he'll wake me up. I'll wake up and he's standing on me in bed, licking my face. Again, I don't know what he wants because I'm not going to give him any food.

Maybe that's what he wants. Maybe I should give him some food. But he's got dry food.

And if I, if I give him wet food, like the cat food, if I give him as much of that, you know, like twice a day or three times a day, he would never eat the dry food, which means he wouldn't get the vitamins he needs. He wouldn't get the roughage, his teeth wouldn't get cleaned. And he just, you know, would have to run basically as well.

So it has to be a balance. Although I gave him an egg earlier. Not hard boiled.

Although he might, I don't know, he loves eggs. But he has, I've had a boiled, not boiled egg, it was poached. And he said broached.

That's weird. Poached egg. What I do though, I don't do them.

You can get broiled eggs, can't you? Which is basically poached, isn't it? And a poached would be stealing. So what I do is, although I didn't do that today, I actually fried an egg today, which is something that I don't normally do. But it was nice.

I do like a nice fried egg now and then. And I didn't have any eggs, I don't think really for about four months. Apart from when I did.

And I think I did get some, yeah, I got one pack of eggs from a garage, I think probably about three months ago. So what I like to do is I share, I like to give him an egg every now and then. And it's really rare.

So every month, maybe I'll give him an egg. And when he was younger, he used to love it. He'd have one every day if he could.

And he'd chase it, I'll give it to him in the shell and just put it on the floor, chase it around and smash it against everything until he could break it open. And then he'd eat it and it'd make an absolute mess on the carpet. Now, he won't do anything.

He's too lazy. I have to break it and put it into a bowl for him. And then I have to actually sometimes, I have to actually, when I go to feed him, I can put the food in the bowl, I have to actually carry him to the bowl so that he can taste it, so he can see it.

He's so, honestly, he's the laziest thing in the world, which means he's never really hungry. Because if he was hungry, he'd be like at it with me straight away. But when I first got him when he was a baby, he used to scoff his food up.

And I think part of the reason is because he had 7,000 brothers and sisters that all used to try and eat the food before he did. So when finally he had his own home to himself and he had his own bowl and didn't have anyone else trying to eat his food, like, well, eventually when I stopped trying to eat his food, he used to scoff it really quickly, thinking that I was going to take it. And as I said to him before, if I want to take it, I'll take it.

I'm not even saying, ooh, I'm scared. Very rude. I was thinking earlier, I was thinking what it was like when he first moved in, how, and I guess it's the same with anyone, get a new puppy or a new baby.

It's the novelty. It's all just, everything's about them, isn't it? I mean, not just to them, but to us as well. You get a new puppy, for example, if you're going to work, whatever you do in your life, your mind's still going to come back to that little puppy.

Like, what's she been up to today at home? She hasn't been left at home on her own. Is she going to be into the bin? Is she going to, you know, whatever. It's just such an exciting, wonderful time.

And then two weeks later, oh, you still here? Why are you still here? Why don't I make some terrible decisions? I do sometimes, I think, I'm joking about that. I do think that we should all be allowed to shrink our dogs, cats, or even children, just shrink them down to being babies again, just for the weekend. So you can just go back to that original, the fun, you know, the freshness of it, the novelty of this tiny little creature, not being able to really do anything.

And I suppose with animals, it's more fun because they do do stuff, don't they? Especially cats. Wow. I've seen cats defy gravity.

I'm not even joking. I see two little kittens. One of them we'd all like me to seem to amuse the owners, some reason.

And there's two of them and they chased each other around the wall, up the curtains. This is back in a day where I used to have wallpaper. Now I don't, I don't know if people have wallpaper anymore.

But you know, they had some to grip on to. They would literally run around. It was like a Lionel Richie music video.

And she's just running around the wall, dancing on the ceiling. How? How is that even possible? Could not believe it. But it really did happen.

I said, yeah, I think that'd be good if we could just shrink shrink down. So if I could have Andre as a tiny little baby again, but not not the part where he was biting me. I don't want to go through that again.

But just the the part where I'd like him, I'd like to start from the part where he climbed up my dressing gown arm sleeve sleeve arm thing. When I was sitting on the chair, climbed up me, climbed up my leg. I just couldn't believe it.

And this is a point where he didn't want to be touched by me. Didn't want me anywhere near him. Kept trying to bite me and I was I had to hold him.

He honestly, he ripped my pants to bits. He just didn't like me. And then one day, it was an evening.

Climbed up my leg. Climbed up to my the loose sleeve at my left arm of my dressing gown. I just went to sleep.

And that was it. The bond had been made. But on his terms, he decided when we were going to be close.

He decided when he was going to accept me. And that seemed to be his time. Because after that, not once did he try and bite me.

Not like that. Only playing, but not like viciously the way he was before that. It was amazing.

It's like just suddenly, he felt comfortable with me to just, and it's not like I picked him up and he fell asleep on me, which he does now, sometimes. But he just did it off his own back. He just climbed up my leg.

In them days, I mean, he was so light. Nothing could stop him. He can't get out of anything.

He was, you know, and he just climbed up. Now it takes him a few attempts to get up onto the chair. Because there's nothing to grip on to, I guess.

But just when he had this tiny little thing underneath my sleeve. And back then I was drinking lager. You would think, well, that's not really relevant.

But it is because I have to keep going to the toilet. And also to go to the fridge to get more lager. So I was, I had my left arm sticking out.

You know, almost in some kind of weird, inappropriate salute. And I could even still feel it. I'm doing it now.

I almost feel the weight of him, the little bit of weight of him, like wobbling inside. It was like a hammock for him, I guess. That's before I got in the hammock for his cage.

And so I'm going to the toilet with my left arm in that kind of weird, weird salute. And then we get you arrested in public. And then again, I was going, if you had it on camera, that'd be so weird seeing you walk around like that.

Anyway, that should be the headline. We should be able to, we should be able to shrink our babies once every weekend. I just hope I can find a way if I can edit this.

Should be okay. So thank you very much for listening. And remember to be kind to yourself.

Because you do deserve to be happy. Do something nice for yourself. Lots of love.

Bye.