#460 Let Me Bore You To Sleep - A HAPPY ENDING - Jason Newland (28th July 2020)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com My name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen and you can safely close your eyes.

So I hope you're well. As you can probably hear my chair's a little bit squeaky and I'm sitting at the desk so I'll try and sit still. The reason I'm sitting at the desk is because I'm going to be reading some magazines.

Yeah. Just turn the volume down. So before I get started, I just seem to always be thanking people, don't I? Thank you very much to do that.

It's almost like being in a relationship, isn't it? Like at the beginning every day. Instead of saying thank you, I'm saying sorry. Sorry.

Sorry for what I do for the next 24 hours. And so thank you for your lovely, kind words and suggestions regarding the little birdie that entered my life on Sunday evening. So I'll tell you about that.

This chair. I don't know why it's so squeaky. Maybe it'd be better off if I sat on a stool.

Or if I lost some weight. Maybe. Maybe.

Because what you hear in chair language, that is, get off me. Get off me. That's what you hear in chair language.

A little bit tired. Just had something to eat. An egg toasted sandwich.

It's very yummy. And so the bird is a bit of a weird experience because I found the bird during Monday. It's now Tuesday morning.

So yesterday, I woke up. I was a little bit scared to open the box to be fair in case, you know, it wasn't alive. You know, basically, I wasn't sure.

However, he was very much alive and very perky in fact. So what I did is I thought I can't just leave him in the box. I can't put him outside.

I held him, gave him a bit of cuddles and kisses and stuff. But his wings weren't... Well, he's a baby. Basically, he's a baby bird.

Either he's got an injured wing, I don't know. I'm not, you know, I'd need to just do an x-ray. But my x-ray machine is out of order at the moment.

I keep swearing at people. I'm very out of order. So I thought I'll post it on Facebook.

Let me see what I posted on Facebook. And I'll mention some people as well. Yeah.

You know what I like about my Facebook page? It's very cold in here today. Oh, wow. I've got to send my love out to Margo Jensen.

Who's in hospital with COVID. So, and one of my friends on Facebook. So I'm going to send in love.

And also to Lilith as well. We've also got it. So I'm just going to send my love to those two people.

Hope you both, you know... I know, as far as I know, Lilith's feeling okay, but wasn't well. A few weeks back. Anyway, so yeah, I wish everyone who has experienced this condition or had this virus, I hope that you're all okay.

As you know, I don't really talk about the virus during these recordings. And so I won't. I'm not going to either today.

But yeah, just sending love out to everyone. I'm sure you're with me on that as well. So today, yesterday rather, I... If you go onto my Facebook page, there's actually a couple of pictures.

Now there's one picture and one little video that I did of the little birdie in my bath. And so that's on my Facebook page. I didn't share it on... I don't think I shared it on any of the other Facebook pages, just the main one that I've got, my personal one.

And there's also a picture of me holding a little bird as well. I just wanted to have a picture, you know, just for posterity. In the picture where I'm holding him, he looks wet, it's because he is.

I sprinkled a little bit of water on him. I just thought, I don't know. I didn't know if the bird's dehydrated or wasn't quite sure.

I don't think like just they didn't fill it with water. But basically, I put some water in the bath while he was in the bath so he could have a little drink if he needed to. But apparently, if you find an injured bird, don't give them water.

That's what I've been told by an expert. But if you've got them for any amount of time, you're going to have to, aren't you? Because they do need to drink. But they're okay.

Anyway, I'm not an expert on anything, so I'm quiet. I'm really grateful for everybody that reached out because I posted something on Facebook 16 hours ago. I rescued a little bird last night.

He can't fly properly. I think he's a baby anyway. Do you know what type of bird this is? And what does he need to eat and drink? So I had 29 comments.

Laura, dear master, please call Animal Rescue Hospital. It's the best thing you can possibly do for this little guy. Actually, I need to reply to the house 45 minutes ago.

I've done that. I'm just going to reply. I've done that.

And he is safe. Thank you. I'll try to reply to everyone.

And Natalie says, if he can't eat on his own, then syringe feed him. But I would check for the nest near where you found him. If he's there, put him in and see if mum comes back.

So, you know, I was thinking that was one of the things I was going to do. But because it was dark last night, on Sunday night, it was just after nine. It wasn't like dark, dark, you know, but it was dark.

It was darker. In fact, I only just made him out. I thought it was a bit of poo, dog poo that was moving.

So I couldn't see anything else. I did kind of look around to see if there's any other birds. But at that time of night, there's no bird activity.

They're all asleep or reading or watching telly or whatever birds do. There's no sound. And I know, I kind of know the bird patterns of waking up and going to sleep or making sound and stopping.

Because in my garden, it's a shared communal garden. It's a huge tree. It's a huge tree.

And so one of my favourite things about living here is knowing that one day that tree will fall down and crush this building. But one of my favourite things is because I love I love birds. The sounds of birds apart from pigeons.

I know that's prejudiced. The reason for that, I don't dislike pigeons, I just don't like the sound because it's so loud. And it's hard, you know, even when I'm in my shed, in my bedroom, the pigeon just breaks right through every barrier, that sound, nothing seems to stop it.

Yet the other birds, you know, doesn't seem to, can't really seem to hear them so much. But that's just, you know, the loudest among everything. I mean, I actually saw two pigeons communicating.

One was in the garden, one was over the front, the other side of the road, and they were chatting to each other. Why not just get a bit closer? Why'd they have to be so far away? Maybe they were showing off? So I know that, I mean, the birds are waking up later than they were, due to sort of being a bit of a night owl on myself, or a bat, a night bat. I noticed that the first one was getting light later than I was.

Because in sort of May time, it starts to get light really early. You know, once you hit three o'clock, it starts to get light. Now it's still dark at five.

Starts to get, starts to get light about five. You know, it really does change. We've had our longest day, and it changes quite dramatically.

So the birds generally don't wake up or start making noise until it gets lighter. Apart from the odd one that wakes up, is clearly like an early riser, and starts singing and whistling, and realizes that no one else is, and just starts speaking. You're going to hear his wife saying, shut up.

It's not time to get up yet. Shush. Go back to bed.

And so there's always one that kind of does it first. And then everyone joins in. But, you know, it's always one that starts it.

But sometimes it's one that starts it too early and everyone else just ignores it. That's quite funny. In the evening, they calm down earlier as well.

So it's not much happening after about seven, I'd say. Maybe eight. It's not a lot happening at that time anyway.

And birds are much noisier in the morning. They make more sound in the morning than they do in the evening, generally I find. But, well, maybe it's just you can hear him more because there's not much going on.

Andre, shush. Yeah, like he's gonna listen to me. Now he's got that tube that he loves sleeping in.

He makes so much noise when he's in there. Every time he moves, they just... I don't stop moaning about him, do I? I'm just such a moaner. Anyway, he's going to scratch the door probably now.

And I think the reason he scratches the door, one of the reasons, apart from to annoy me, also the fact that he wants to go out, is because the windows open and the hallway, both the doors are open, so he can smell the stuff that he wants to go to. And I notice he picks a smell up on the wind, in the air, and he follows that smell. So I guess I've only got to guess if it is or not, but I'm guessing it's like female ferrets somewhere.

And they might not be in the field, they might be in someone's house or in someone's garden, you know, sort of as a pet. But he's catching the smell of it. You know, he starts putting on his tuxedo, bow tie, cologne.

It's late night. And he struggles, he won't come the direction I want him to go. He just stops, he smells the air.

A little bit, a little bit like the cartoon, you know, when a dog would sniff and they'd smell a pie on the windowsill, cooling down. And they smell it and they suddenly lift off the air and get excited by it. He's a little bit like that, but he's not a dog, he doesn't lift off the air and there's no pie.

Other than that, it's exactly the same. So thank you, Natalie. Thank you, Riley.

See, Natalie and Riley, they both said they kind of didn't disagree, but they kind of just about whether it would be touched if it had been touched by a human. But you know what I like about my page is people don't get into arguments on my page. I'll tell you why that is.

Because everyone on my page is lovely. That's why. Everyone that follows me on Facebook, everyone that listens to me are lovely people.

I'm very lucky. Julie Holmes, she says it's a baby goldfish, I reckon. It might have fledged a couple of days too early.

And you're right, it was a baby goldfinch. So thank you, Julie. I looked, I even did the Bing, you know, the Bing thing.

There's an app or just do it online where you can take a picture of something and search online to see what it is. I've done it a couple of times. Did it on my face.

I did actually done it while I was doing these recordings. And I think 84% or 85% of the people that came up were prison photos, which was a little bit worrying. And I've done other pictures of my body and stuff.

One that just came up is a micro worm. But I won't go into that. So I took a picture of the baby goldfinch, not knowing there was a baby goldfinch.

This was last night, or Sunday night. And nothing was coming up that made any sense. It was like, oh, they seem to be more interested in my hand than in the bird.

You know, it's like showing pictures of hands. That wasn't the focus. And Natalie said, never give birds bread.

But I didn't know that because my friend, who I spoke to on the phone the night before, said try giving it some bread. And I found out by the professionals never give them bread as well. So thanks, Natalie.

The thing is, he didn't touch the bread anyway. I don't think he even touched the cat food I gave him. And I tried to breastfeed him.

That didn't work. I didn't have a syringe. Which is a shame because I did.

I used to have a syringe when Andre, when he was a baby. I got him in September and November, I think it was, he had a chest infection. So I had to, you know, I took him to the vets.

And got charged a huge amount of money, you know, like they do. Yeah. But they're not in it for the money, of course.

And I, you know, had this little syringe that I used to have to because, you know, he wouldn't take the medicine. Hated it. Hated it.

So I'd put it in, you know, it's only, I mean, you know, it's a baby, it's a tiny little syringe. But I quite enjoyed squirting it down his throat or something. Because he was so naughty at the time, I just, I don't know, I just, I don't want to punish him, I just, I found his reactions so, if you've got a little animal that's not scared of anything, and will just do anything he wants, and then suddenly you find something that he's petrified of, it's, it's kind of humorous, in a sense, like, wow, like he's absolutely terrified of baths.

Or puddles, and will not go into a puddle. A bath he is petrified of. Don't know why.

And that's not a normal, a normal ferret thing, either. Because ferrets, my friend had a ferret, loved going in the bath. I've seen videos of ferrets being washed.

They probably don't all love it, but they just sit, stand there. He will not stand there. Not for two seconds.

So yeah, he's got, I don't know what it is, I don't know what it takes after his daddy's scared of water, scared of, scared of washing. I've washed, why do you say such things? And he, to see that he was petrified of this syringe, I don't know, just tickled me because he would attack a dog 100 times bigger than him. He'd bite a dog on his nose.

He had no fear, but he didn't like that syringe. And he had to have it though, it's medicine. So he used to get it out.

I think he had it for like seven days or something. So it wasn't like a long time. And I don't mean seven days continuous syringing, you know, it'd be full bursts with me.

But you know, over a seven day period, and I'd get out the packet and he'd run, he'd hide. The way he does now, if I'm running a bath, he hides. Not when I'm running it for me, but when I'm running it for him, he knows.

I don't know how he knows. If I'm running the bath for me, I can pick him up. I can sit on the edge of the bath and he's got no interest.

If I'm running the bath for him, he won't come anywhere near the bathroom. He'll try and get out of my arms. It's really strange.

How does he know? And he actually hides, he actually physically hides. Usually it's underneath the black, dirty, fallen apart, squeaky, old, looks older than me chair. He hides under there because I can't see him.

Silent, absolutely silent. So it's the only two things, the only other thing that he doesn't like, but he's not scared of it, but it makes him jump, is motorbikes, like really loud motorbikes. Doesn't like that.

And I'm the same. And you know, the ones that are really, or you can hear the spark plug, like making a weird noise. I just want to get, I want to torpedo them.

I do. I don't like them. I've got sensitive ears, I think.

So yeah, so thank you, Natalie. Natalie gave some other suggestions as well. People did Natalie, Lilith.

Thank you, Lilith. Alison. And again, Lilith says a baby goldfinch.

And so a couple of people said what it was, what kind of bird it was. And the sort of symbol I could eat, give him pure veggies, pureed veggies, millet in a syringe, wild bird seed and buggies, but didn't have a syringe. So I thought I kept that one, like just for keepsake, you know, the one that I use for him, just to kind of remind me of how tiny he is, or how tiny he used to be.

But I think I probably chucked it away. I might have it somewhere, but it would have been digging it out from somewhere. And I'm in the garden, I don't bury my stuff.

And so only emotions, only emotions, deep, deep down. So I didn't get to the point where I fed him anything other than some cat food. And I tried to give him some cat food.

I was holding him in my arms, on my hand. I got some tweezers, tried to sort of get him to sort of, you know, he opened his mouth a little bit. But it was still not, not happening.

I think it was the same with the seagull that we, that my friend rescued, and I had him in here. Unfortunately, passed away before the rescue people got here. Had an injured leg, injured neck, or I don't know, injured something, wing or something like that.

We've been attacked by a cat or something like that. Or an elephant. I don't know.

I don't know. But I'm pretty sure I gave him some sardines or something. So that was a bit of a chore to try and get him to open his mouth.

But, you know, this little birdie won't have it. But when I put some in there, I tipped about, I don't know, 25% of the packet into the box and I just closed the box up and he started making a lot of noise. Not noise, but like you could hear him like moving around and tweeting and stuff.

So I think he might have had some of it. But because it was not a see-through box, it was a cardboard box. I couldn't see through it.

I couldn't see through it. I couldn't see what he was doing. But I wanted to.

I did. I really did. So what I did anyway, and also I've got Jodie.

Thank you, Jodie. Baby Oatmeal. Eleanor, is there a vet you can consult? Thanks, Eleanor.

You know what? If I could ever avoid it, I would never contact a vet for anything outside of an emergency or, you know, having to. So with Andre, I found them to be the most unhelpful people. You know, unless you've got money, they won't do anything without money.

And I understand they need to be paid, but I'd afford that at least see the animal and then give a bill and give me some kind of payment plan, you know, give me a chance to pay it off. I mean, if I had to have, Andre had to have surgery to save his life, I'd sell everything I've got to pay off that bill. I definitely wouldn't, you know, I'd pay it off.

I wouldn't. I'm not going anywhere. They know where I am.

I'd, you know, I'd try and get help and get loans or whatever. But they wouldn't even do anything without money first, without sort of guaranteeing you'll pay. So it's, I don't know, it's kind of a weird situation.

I've only had, it's only been to two different vets, but I've phoned up other vets as well that also say the same thing. So I wouldn't, I definitely wouldn't take an animal that I've found to a vet. Because I'm not paying, I can't pay money for a rescue animal to be met.

I would if I had the money, I wouldn't care. But I just don't have the money. You know, if I had money, a lot of money in the bank, it wouldn't bother me if it cost me a few hundred pounds to get a hedgehog's spikes resharpened or I don't know, whatever, you know, whatever is needed.

In fact, I could probably enjoy the process of not the sharpening of the spikes, but I could enjoy being in that position to be able to help little animals. So what I did do, I'll just read a couple of people. Nick Meekins, Contact Rescue.

Thank you. Carol says milk and bread. Nick Meekins.

So it says quite a few people sent me messages. Thank you to everyone. And what I did is I went online and I found I don't know what I put down.

Bird Rescue, Colchester, which is where I live. So I put down that and the first place I found was a wildlife. In fact, I'll go through here.

Let's see. The first thing I came up with, okay, is Wildlife Rescue and Rehabilitation Center. So and there is three that came up, Colchester Owl Rescue and Small Animals Boarding and Rescue Facility.

So I called up the first one, the Wildlife Rescue and Rehabilitation Center. And the lady that answered said that she was in quarantine or not quarantine, what's the thing? Self-isolation. And none of the staff are in because of what's going on.

So I said, Oh, what should I do? And she said, I'm just going to turn my paper around. So I kept track of this. Yeah.

She said, try a, oh no, I phoned, I phoned it. There was a, there was an answer machine and then it was a telephone number. So I said, if it's an emergency, so I'll call the telephone number, the mobile.

And then she said there was nothing that she can do, but recommended another place for me just to search online, which is what I did. And I spoke to this lovely lady called Laura, and she gave me a number for a man called Dave. And she said, well, try and find someone that can come and collect the little bird.

And everyone's out at the moment. Everyone's, you know, running around. And she said, yours isn't the only wildlife that's been rescued.

And so it was. She said, you've got such an attitude. I hate it when you call me.

I said, I've never called you before. And she said, I'm only kidding. Happy Easter.

I said, yeah, thanks. And she said, don't give any bread. Don't give any water because water apparently, apparently the little birds, especially the little baby ones, they need to be kept warm.

So one of the problems with, if you put a little tub of water in there is it could drown. I didn't think about that. It could like topple into it and not have the proper balance and drown in it.

If it's the tub's too big. And another thing is it could get wet. The chances it will get wet and could get pneumonia, which is like a proper problem that they have with wild animals.

When they're found, it's no one's fault. I mean, how are we supposed to know this stuff? I didn't know until I was told. So apparently, especially if it's a baby, because they're used to being in the nest, like a baby bird used to be in the nest, sitting on, having it's mum sitting on him.

He used to have his mum's bum on top of him. And I'd be quite happy to not have that anymore, wouldn't you? Now when he got out of the nest before he was ready, maybe his mum kept farting. Anyway, he needed to be kept warm.

I put him in the box. He had a t-shirt. The t-shirt didn't fit him, but, you know, I sort of let him just sit on it.

And initially I put water, milk and bread. But then this morning, yesterday morning after speaking to this lady, I gave it cat food. I gave him cat.

I don't know if it's a man or a boy or a girl. I'd say it's a boy. I don't know.

It's either a boy or a girl. It's either Hesty or Chesty. I don't know which one.

And I decided to try and do, you know, try and feed it with the, not staples, pliers, not pliers, not twiglets. Things you pluck your eyebrows with and you get. You know what I haven't had for years and years and years and I used to get all the time when I was a kid.

Guess what? I'm not talking about uncontrollable movements, splinters. I haven't had a splinter in my fingers for years. It's not because I don't do anything.

Because even, you know, even in my twenties, I think I hardly ever got a splinter or my thirties or my forties or my sixties. But when I was a kid constantly and use the tweezers to pull the splinter out. And the weird thing about it, it still felt like it was still in, but it wasn't.

Yeah. When I started that talk about splinters, I thought you'd be interested, but I realized I can actually hear you snoring, hear a few of you sighing. Oh really? Splinters, pliers, staples, tweezers, tweezers.

So try to feed him. He won't have none of it. So I just like, Oh, there you are.

There's the food. Eat it if you want to eat it. Don't, if you don't.

Can't make you. I'm not going to force you to eat it. I didn't have anything to squirt into his mouth.

So I wasn't too concerned at this point because I knew that there was people on the job, you know, to sort of come and get him. The lady said, I'll try and get someone to come and get him. I gave her my address.

So I figured that would make it easier for her. You know, I often try and guess. And some bloke, poor bloke, driving around the van, stopping people randomly.

Do you know if there's a rescue bird? It's either hesty or chesty. We're not sure. It's a bird, a boy or a girl.

Do you know? Do you know? It's Chaffinch or something. Goldfinch or maybe golden eagle or something. And she also said, here's the name.

Is the telephone number for Dave or something? So I called him up. And I said, I'll call you back later. You know, you know, I called him up.

Answer machine. So I left a message. I left it about 20 minutes, 20 minutes, and I'll find him up again.

Went to answer machine. I didn't leave a message at this point. So I phone up Laura.

At this point, I've got about four different telephone numbers on my phone. And I found the wrong number by accident. Didn't realize until afterwards.

And I said, yeah, hi, I'm just calling back. It's about a bird. And she said, okay.

And she didn't know who I was. I didn't understand why she didn't know who I was. I said, I've spoken to Dave and I just left a message on his machine.

And she said, oh, well, he's probably busy. And I said, yeah, okay. And she said, I'm sure we'll get back to you.

And I said, all right, okay. And she said, I'll just give him some cat food. If you've got dog food or cat food, it's fine for the time being and make sure we keep him warm and everything.

I said, okay, thanks. And I realized I phoned Domino's Pizzas. I was like, oh, okay.

That's really, really kind of them to be, you know, to not make a fuss and just be helpful. But, oh, wow. No, I'd actually phoned the original person I called, but she didn't know who I was.

She didn't know my name or anything. So after that, I phoned up. I just picked another number at random out of the ones on my phone.

And it was Laura this time again. I said, hi. She said, oh, hi, you're right.

See, that's what I expected. I mean, fireworks didn't go off and violins didn't start playing. It wasn't that kind of situation.

It wasn't that kind of situation like, wow, you called back. I'm really pleased to hear your voice again. It wasn't quite that, but she recognized it was me because, you know, I'd spoken to her before, only a half hour ago.

And I said, I left a message with Dave or whatever his name was. And she said, okay, I'm sure we'll get back to you. You know, everyone's all around.

And she said, in the meantime, I'll try and see if I can find someone else to come and collect the bird. I said, do you want my address? She said, you ought to give it to me. I said, okay.

And she said, I'll call you or someone will call you to arrange to come and pick him up. Are you going to be there all day? And I said, no, I suppose I'll have to now, right? I was supposed to be going out to do something really important. She said, what? I said, that's not really your concern, is it? I think you need to know everything about me we've just met.

Let's keep some things a little bit. I don't know, just a few little secrets that we can find out over time. You know, it makes a relationship more passionate and more intense.

She said, this isn't a relationship. I'm trying to help you with a bird. I said, so I forgot.

I thought you liked me. She said, I don't know you. Okay.

She said, well, I'm going to go. You'll get a phone call soon. I said, all right then.

You hang up first. And she did. So I went and laid down and I got a phone call from a man called Bob.

And he said, yeah, I want to come and pick your bird up. And I said, keep away from my bird. And he said, what are you talking about? I think he said, you keep away from my bird.

I don't need you to pick up my bird. It's my bird. And he said, I ain't got time for this, mate.

I know you have to have these pointless, made up conversations for your podcast, because you've got nothing going on in your life to actually talk about. In reality, you just have to make up these stupid, pointless, non-ending, ridiculous conversations. And I said, you're beginning to hurt my feelings.

He said, good. I said, all right. Okay.

So you want to pick up the bird? He said, yeah. And this was about quarter to three. He said, I'll be there about half three.

I said, cool. Have you got my address? He said, yeah, I've got your address. I said, good.

He said, well, if I didn't have your address, how would I be able to come and pick, you know, come to where you live? And I said, come on, mate, you've been rude enough already in this kind of call. Why, why have you got to just, just, can't you just leave it? And he said, I can't help it. I mean, you know, he spoke to my wife earlier on the phone.

And told her that you loved her and just my wife. I said, oh. And he said, yeah.

I said, yeah. It's a bit awkward, isn't it? He said, not half. I said, you still want to come around and get the bird? And he said, yeah, I do.

And I said, all right then. And he said to me, you hang up first. And I did.

And he came round, we had a cuddle. And he told me it was a bit too early in relationship to buy him jewellery. But I said, well, I might as well give you jewellery.

I've already given you my heart. Oh, blimey, that was romantic. Anyway, he came in, he collected, he had all his mask on and gloves.

Basically one of those radioactive suits, like Chernobyl kind of thing. So he came along, got the little bird and he left. I was like, wow, this is about half three.

And he's gone. This little birdie came into my life and then left. And what's really strange, I don't know why, but Andre started clinging to me.

After the bird had gone, he climbed up on me and he was really affectionate. But he wanted my attention. Maybe I was giving too much attention to the bird.

But I wasn't giving it. Well, I suppose I did for a little while earlier on when I was holding him and trying to feed him and to push Andre away. Because Andre said it's feeding time for me too.

It was licking his lips. Why are you giving him my food? And yeah, so Bob came and got in. And that's really nice.

It's really cool. This is a lovely bloke. And I phoned up Laura just to say thank you, because I left a message on her machine because she could clearly see that my number was bringing her number and thought, oh, I don't want to talk to him again.

Even though none of the stuff I said actually happened. And what an amazing bunch of people to do all this for a little bird that, I don't know, there's a whole network of people traveling around and coordinating with each other to help this tiny little bird, to give it a chance. And ah, just amazing.

It really is. So yeah, that's the story of that little bird. Have a little drink now.

Oh, my throat made a really weird noise. I'm just going to read some stuff out of the magazines, but I haven't got time. I'll do that tomorrow, maybe.

What I did get, it's looking at my, I've been trying to figure out why I've got no money. I mean, there's an obvious reason, but why just like, just really seem to be getting through it, but without having anything to show for it. You know, nothing apart from gifts that I've been given and stuff like that.

But I've been, I've spent that on stuff like toilet paper and cat food. And I've also got gifts on the Amazon gifts, a wish list as well for Andre and for me. It's brilliant.

It's really, really so helpful. I really appreciate it. And I'll be looking at my money situation.

I'm trying to think, oh, there's something wrong here. I'm always down to like the last pound, just constantly. And I've just found that it's got a message from, was it PayPal today, or yesterday rather, saying that my money didn't clear.

I thought, what do you mean? And I had my website connected to PayPal. So when I started my website again on Wednesday, the money got took out of my PayPal account, $29. But it's supposed to take it out of my bank account, not out, there was nothing in the PayPal account.

So now I owe PayPal $29. So why didn't they take it out of my bank? That's the whole point of it. If you buy something through PayPal, it takes it out of the bank and the money was in the bank at the time.

I just absolutely can't get made around it. And it happened to me a couple of years back with PayPal. I owed them, I think $120 or something for, I think it was for some advertising that I'd paid for on Google, something like that.

And now again, I'm quite heavy handed as well. I've sent bailiffs around and stuff. So in the end, I managed to put the money into the account from my bank and managed to sort of move stuff around.

But $29 isn't much anyway. So I'm not going to worry about that. I'll get paid on Thursday.

It's Tuesday now. So they haven't been sending me any threatening emails yet, which is good. I started to look at my monthly outgoings.

And it is after I got the income in and outgoing. After I paid everything off that I've got to pay like, you know, in a month there's £154 of food and clothes and haircuts, if I could have a haircut. And anything else I need to do, you know, so and that's a month and that's, that's after there's all the expenses, you know, like gas, the various different bills, water, electric gas, the iPad, the iPhone, broadband, TV license, council tax, Apple storage, that's only £1.

I've got the E phone bill, Audible, Netflix, I can get rid of Netflix if I need to. And Spreaker, iTunes, I can get rid of iTunes if I want to, but I do use it. So I can get rid of that.

I could get rid of iTunes and Netflix. I could get rid of Audible, but I use Audible regularly. A catalogue costs me £100 a month.

But that, that will reduce over time, because once, you know, it's not going to be forever, I just have to pay it off. Now TV, at the moment, it's normally £8 a month, or £7.99. But they gave me a special deal where it's about £1.70 or something a month. So I couldn't turn them down on that.

It's just so cheap. Once it goes up to £8, I might, I might, you know, get rid of it. Shopify, as well, Shopify.

And it's like, okay, it's £154 for food, clothes, everything else a month. With nothing out, you know, nothing added on. I kind of wonder, I've never worked it all out before.

And now I've worked it out. And so I can get rid of Netflix. I like Netflix.

You know, I don't watch that much television. I listen to the radio. I watch a bit of TV, sort of early morning cheers, you know, stuff like that.

And maybe the news, but I don't really watch much television. I have to have a TV license. That's the law.

Because I do watch the television, but minimal. And I haven't got Amazon. I used to have Amazon Prime.

And I just realized that although Amazon Prime is what £7.99 a month, I went online to buy some seeds, some bird seeds. And I had, I think I got £5.66 in the bank at the moment. So I thought if I can get a bag of seeds, wild seeds, just the wild birds, so kind of any bird can kind of just eat them.

Kept them next day delivery. So this was about 9.30 last night or Sunday night. And I found some, I thought, yeah, okay.

I've got enough money to buy them. And because I didn't know what was going to happen as far as, you know, getting them collected, or getting her collected. And so I went onto Amazon, or went to purchase it.

And it was £4.99. I think it was £4.99 to buy and £4.99 delivery charge. But it would have been zero delivery charge if I'd been an Amazon Prime member. It's just like, I think that's how they get it, you know, because I don't even really watch much.

When I'm on Amazon Prime, I don't watch much of the telly, listen to music. But in the past, when I bought something, and they say, well, you're going to get, the delivery for this is going to be £15. If I bought a few bits that I needed, the delivery is going to cost £15.

But if you pay £7.99 now for Amazon Prime for the next month, your delivery is going to be free. So you're basically going to save yourself £7.50 straight away. But I don't know, £7 or whatever.

It's difficult to like say no to that, you know. It's like, oh, yeah, actually. And it's next day delivery.

So I've done it quite a few times just for that. And there are some programs. There's been a few shows on Amazon that I really, really liked.

Really, really liked. But one of the things that I'm not a huge fan of with Amazon is they'll show, they'll have a whole, every season of a TV show, for example, House, maybe as an example. And you'll be able to watch maybe the first seven seasons, and then the next four you have to pay for if you want to watch them.

But on, you know, if you go to Netflix, everything that they have on there is free to watch once you pay for membership. I just do the £5.99 a month. I don't do the HD or anything like that.

Or the family sharing thing. I figure Andre can watch it with me. And unless again, I suppose if he gets his own little tablet.

I suppose a phone would be like a tablet for him, wouldn't it? But he's so little. Anyway, just thinking of Andre touching a screen of a tablet, trying to find something to watch. So that's one of the things with Amazon that does me a little bit because they're still selling stuff.

You pay for Amazon Prime, which gives you loads of TV shows and films to watch. But they're still trying to sell you films and TV shows. I expect it all to be part of the package.

Because I did Netflix first. That was the first streaming service I ever used was Netflix years ago. And then Now TV came out, which was like Sky.

You know, the channels you can get on Sky and the movies you can get on Sky, or they happen to have a Sky account, like satellite dish or any of that stuff. So I kind of went into that and it's really good as well. In some ways, they're better, because you can get well not better, but they're good.

They have a lot of programs that I quite like, like HBO shows. And I think Netflix, I don't know, I like Netflix. I do.

But with Now TV, they've got a tendency of taking away a whole series or season. So sometimes I've gone there. So I want to watch, for example, I don't know, Game of Thrones, and there might only be the last season available on there.

Instead of all 5,000. Or The Walking Dead, there might only be the last one. Or there might, there might be all of the seasons apart from the last one, there might only be three of them.

And it's just a little bit confusing, especially when they put stuff on there that's just been on telly. For example, The Walking Dead on Fox, they'll put it on to Now TV and Sky, available to watch pretty much as soon as it's being played on TV. And also with Now TV, you can watch TV live as well, like Fox and Comedy Central and stuff like that.

And so yeah, this has all got its benefits. But what I've noticed since the this year, the lockdown, less new stuff's being created the last this year, you know, the last six months. I've noticed that Netflix have imported or started putting on lots of foreign programs, lots of TV shows that are either subtitled or dubbed.

And some of them are really good, to be fair. I like, I forget the ones I like, there's one I'm watching at the moment, that is Reg... There's one about four, Regna Pugin or something. That was good.

And but there's a lot of not just, also films, but also it's turning into a bit of a, I don't know, it's just I guess Netflix can't produce their own stuff at the moment. So they're buying in from other countries, because they don't have access to anything else, because I guess all the other channels, they don't like to share, do they? Like Amazon don't like to have the same TV shows as Netflix. Or if they do, they like to charge for them.

So yeah, I'm not the greatest fan of Amazon Prime, apart from that you get a free delivery. It's really great. After looking at my finances, no wonder I can't afford to buy stuff.

So I've been buying things online, because I couldn't get any shopping delivered this year, since February or March. And no wonder I was ended up with nothing at the end of it, because I was paying way over the odds. 154 pounds, not enough.

I need underpants. I need new socks. I need, I need a hair replacement.

I do. I've got bald patch coming. I can feel it.

I mean, I've become so self conscious of it. And almost feel like there's like a miniature Moses, just standing there parting my hairs. You know, like, I can feel the hairs all kind of just separating away from the little bald patch.

But don't forget, it's my birthday, 26 August, going to have a little party online with you all if you want to join me. I need a little bit of advice. And when a good time is that everybody can.

I'm not going to do online, I can't. It means having to look into a camera. What I thought I'd do, do an audio live, do a recording.

Just listen to the radio, or listen to a podcast, but it's live. That's why I put it, I'll stream on my website, you can also go to the website and just tune in and just click the play button and you'll hear me live. And then you can send messages via Twitter or Facebook.

And I can read out your messages and all that stuff. If you want to, you know, if you're interested. And that's an invitation to everyone that listens to the Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

I might invite people to listen to other podcasts as well. And I don't know, I suppose, I mean, I've got a larger audience listen to the other stuff I do. But I think in some ways, in some ways that are more personal.

I suppose I do open up quite a bit on these recordings, maybe more than I should, perhaps, I don't know. But then on the Relaxation For Stress podcast, I do talk about my, some of my adventures with that stuff as well. So I try and be, try and be open.

I do. I do. I had an amazing dream earlier.

But I can't tell you about it because it was a bit fruity. But it's one of the best dreams I've had for ages. I mean, it was just really good, really, really good.

I was like, oh, when I got woken up by Andre, I was so disappointed. You know, I just, great dream. And I didn't necessarily want it to be real.

I just wanted to continue to be a dream. I wanted to just enjoy it for longer. Because it was fun.

Train's coming now. So I'm going to go. I'm not sitting on a platform waiting for a train.

I'll get a lock. I imagine that'd be very much louder. So I'm going to go.

I want to say thank you to everyone for all your support with the little birdie. If nothing else, it gave me something to talk about for an hour, well, for a little bit of time. And it feels nice that he's, he really perked up today.

Like during the day, he, I let him go for a little bit, when he got out of my hands, actually. And he was sort of flying from one part of the room to the next and trying to get under the chair. I thought, no, because I didn't know where Andre was.

But one thing I know about him is, first of all, he can be sneaky. Secondly, he can move really quickly. And there's no way in the world I was going to let him get anywhere near that little bird.

Because, you know, he's got enough toys. And that's all it would be for him, would be a little toy. But, and, you know, if he did, yeah, I don't know if I'll be able to look it in the game, if he hurt the little bird.

But I generally don't think, that's just not my, yeah, it's not my thing. I'm not into that. Although my friend, when he had his ferret, we used to take him for walks and stuff.

And we walked and had a look at some frogs. And it was frogging season, where just around the corner, there's like a little ditch with water and stuff. And there was hundreds and hundreds of frogs, all jumping on top of each other, trying to get out there and going eroding there.

And his ferret grabbed one of them, one of the frogs. He got it out of his mouth and, you know, but it just, it's just the idea for, I mean, Andre was, I think, still fairly little at that time. And the frog would probably would have beaten him up.

But it's like, you leave Kermie alone. Actually, I think I said, you leave Kermie, you leave Kermie alone. Anyway, I'm gonna go.

Thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy. Do something nice for yourself today.

Lots of love. Bye.