#453 Let me bore you to sleep - THE FACEBOOK SCAMMER - Jason Newland (16th July 2020)

Hello and welcome to let me bore you to sleep. My name is Jason. No, lad.

And please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. I hope you're well and yeah, I've got a couple of messages to read. I think, let me have a look.

I reckon I be do having messages. So the first one. Oh, where are you? Oh, yeah.

And so I got a message and this was it said, this person asked me to do a recording. And I said, good. So it says, I look forward to your email.

It was the person who asked me if I do recording for triggers and stress and stuff like that. And she said, I look forward to your email. I am very to email.

I know I replied saying, I'll get back to you. I look forward to email yesterday. I'm very curious to hear your perspective on this.

Thank you, Jason, for your podcasts. Thank you for your efforts. Thank you for your hard work and dedication.

Thank you for being so down to earth and approachable. I really didn't expect you to be so kind. I'm not really kind, but thank you.

I appreciate you and all you do, Jason. Please don't stop. Don't change.

Your podcasts are on point. One complaint, they started putting advertising in the middle of your podcast. That is extremely loud.

Is there anything we can do to change that? Well, they should never been in the middle. I do occasionally put them on just to test, to see, you know, if there's any way of making money, paying for the cover of my costs. And the adverts would be at the beginning, but they're not on there anymore anyway.

Because every time I put an advert on, I get complaints. So they're gone. Which means, yeah, a few things.

It means a few things. So thank you for that. I actually made a recording for this person.

It is on my relaxation, distress and anxiety podcast. And it's called Triggers. It was number hundred and... I don't know.

What number were it? It was something. Definitely had a number. It had a number.

I'm just trying to think what number it was. What number were it? Quickly check. Okay, number 165.

Relaxation, hypnosis, distress, anxiety and panic attacks. And it's a long recording as well. So it's about an hour and a half.

So yeah. There you go. That's it.

Well, I had 1764 downloads on that podcast yesterday. It's not bad, is it? And... I was going to look at something. Okay.

I'll come back to this because it's relevant to something I'm going to say. So on Facebook, I've had a couple of messages. Let me have a look.

Let me have a look. Inbox. So I got a message from Sebastian.

It says... He sent me some weird videos. Sebastian's really good at images. Photoshopping or whatever.

I'm not sure quite how he does it. He's really good. But he makes funny ones.

So he's got... He takes like a really famous picture. So let's say an album cover or a video game cover and he changes it. So it's very talented.

Well done. Very good boy. Very clever boy.

Who's a good boy then? Who's a good boy? Yes, you are. Yes, you are. Yes.

I'm Sebastian. This is a good boy. So let me see what other messages I might have had.

Had a message from Ella. It says... And I posted this on Facebook. This was yesterday.

Hi, Jason. I just wanted to say thank you. Your postcards, podcast rather, have got me through my three years of uni.

And I've just got my first job as a primary school teacher. Now sit down. Sit down and listen.

I wouldn't have been able to do any of these, that, without good sleep. I have to say your recent podcast about being a bra fitter was amazing. I've never been so entertained whilst lying in bed.

There is a little laughing there. So I guess you must have had other... I'll tell you something. Ask any of my ex-girlfriends.

None of them will say that I'm a good lover or considerate or anything, but I'm very funny in bed. I'd love a little shout-out. So here we are doing a shout-out.

Then it says, can you stop talking and just read the message out? It's your own time you're wasting. Okay. So I've been listening for years.

And after laughing so much at that brilliant bra-fitting podcast, I thought I have to send the message. Love to you and Andre. P.S. Would you do that in your own home? Why do it here then? You wouldn't do it at home, would you? I wish your teacher said that.

You know, when you do something like chuck something on the floor, or urinate in your desk. Would you do that at your own home? Well, I don't have a desk at home. Oh, dear.

Anyway, thank you, Ella. That was a very lovely message. I was a little bit kind of hesitant, thinking, I wonder if she was being sarcastic about the bra podcast.

I don't know. Another person said they liked the bra podcast I did. Subjects like that could be a hit and miss, I guess.

Yeah. I don't know. The subject is a bit of a top-heavy subject, isn't it? I do want to get busted.

I've got another message. Okay. Say thank you to Azrael.

Azrael sent a little tunnel for Andre to play in, to send a picture to him, her. And thank you very much. And I said, Andre likes his new tunnel.

And she said, OMGGGGGGG. Yay. Say thank you.

And that's very, very kind of you. I wonder if he loves it. He now goes through it in between going, it's the way he is, but he sleeps behind the door.

Not always, but that's kind of one of the places he likes to sleep because he knows I can't get to him as quick. To get to him, I have to move the door open. So he has a little bit of notice.

If he's asleep anywhere else, I can generally just sort of grab. I don't grab him anyway, but I just, I can pick him up. But I think he likes a little bit of notice.

Let's face it. If you lived with a giant, which I am compared to him, you kind of want to know when he was just going to pick you up randomly, wouldn't you? So he climbs through the tunnel on the way to having a poo. Which is nice.

Which means I'm never going to put my hand through that tunnel. I've got another message from Duke. Yeah, Duke.

Did I? No, I've not read it out. I couldn't have done because I didn't make a recording this time. So, hi Jason.

A special thank you from the Netherlands. How do I do the Netherlands accent? Every time before bed, I listen to a session of yours. I am a big fan, especially for your great humour.

Last Sunday, I listened to your... Last Sunday, I listened to your session. Guaranteed chronic pain reduction. Or your money back.

Which I was really proud of. Really happy with that title. When I did it.

Because it's a free service. See? Normally, I fall asleep relaxed. Not this time.

Don't worry. See? I don't want your money back. I don't want my money back.

This time, for the first time in eight years, I didn't feel any pain. Nothing. It took a while before I realised it.

I was so happy and excited that I couldn't sleep anymore. I didn't mind that either. That way I could enjoy feeling nothing for longer.

I'm so grateful to you. Even if only for a few hours. It is intense enjoyment.

You're great. And I replied, I agree, I really am great. It's true.

I'm a superstar. And I'm glad that you acknowledge that. I didn't.

I said, what a lovely message. Thank you. I'm happy to help.

And that got my juices going. Because when I started making recordings online, it was all about chronic pain relief. It's the only thing I was interested in.

But they weren't the most popular sessions. Because I found out, over time, that not everybody with chronic pain is going to listen to a chronic pain relief session. I guess the same way not everybody with insomnia is going to listen to a sleep session.

But people with insomnia are more likely to listen to a sleep session than someone with chronic pain. Listening to a chronic pain relief session. I'm not quite sure.

I've got some theories. But I'm not 100% sure why that is. Something like hypnosis is probably one of the last things people would try when it comes to chronic pain relief.

Falling asleep, listening to someone talking boringly, and maybe a bit monotonously, and a little bit kind of slowing down, is actually kind of a perfect way to fall asleep. Regardless of whether or not the person has insomnia or not. Because it's a lullaby, isn't it? In a sense.

It's gentle and it's calm and quiet. And it calms the mind. It distracts the mind.

There's more to these recordings than people realise, maybe. This isn't just about me waffling along about nothing. There's a reason for it.

Because when you're listening to me, you're not thinking about the other stuff. And although I'm boring, what I say can sometimes be just interesting enough to keep you listening. Even though you might end up drifting.

And if I was listening to myself, which I don't. I've listened a couple of times to my recordings. I'd be a bit silly not to have ever listened to anything because it's important to keep track of what I sound like.

I think my voice is a bit deeper than it used to be when I first started doing these. But It's It's not just a distraction. Because a distraction could be watching television.

But even with someone watching television, they might still feel safe. Someone Lovely background sound, isn't it? That's the ice cream man. Or woman.

That's the weird thing. My whole life, I'm not sure if I've ever seen an ice cream woman. I don't mean a woman made of ice cream.

I mean, if there was such a rare thing, I'm sure I'd struggle to get in the queue. That would be a very popular person, I imagine. And, you know, just, you know, I mean, like, famous wise, not So I Distraction isn't always enough.

So For example, I could be, you know, I could feel tense and I could watch television. It's a distraction. But I can still feel tense doing it.

But when you listen to me, it's more than a distraction. It's more, and the more you listen, the more you get out of it. The more relaxed you feel, the calmer you feel, the easier you can relax.

And if you get nothing else out of listening to me, the one benefit you can really get is you can feel good about your own life, knowing that you're not me. See, it's a win-win for everyone. Except me.

So, thank you, Juicy. That's just noise pollution, isn't it? Ice cream, man. Okay, so Rachel, I got a message from Molly, but I won't read that out.

Rachel said, oh, she gave me a big warning. It's a very strict message. If you stop, let me bore you to sleep.

Podcast, I'm starting a petition. Well, I don't think you get many people to sign that. I mean, you know, I think the last time anyone signed a petition concerning me was the neighbours signed a petition for me to have a bath.

Okay, what other ones? Okay, the... Yeah, that's what I was going to say. So, the one connected to Juicy, the pain relief. So, what I did, and I thought, okay, I'll have a look at the Chronic Pain Relief Podcast, where my, you know, I've got 53 listenable episodes on there.

It's called Chronic Pain Hypnosis Podcast. And the, where is it? The Guaranteed Chronic Pain Reduction or Your Money Back from the 11th of March, 2019 has 76 downloads. It's just ridiculous.

This is, I don't mean to boast, but some of these are good recordings. They're really good recordings. But no one listens to them because they, I don't know why, really.

I think I need to kind of reboot myself in the chronic pain sector. And I looked at the stats, which was embarrassing. I'm not even joking.

The stats yesterday. No, really? That can't be. Wow.

Chronic pain relief, that can't be true. Surely not. According to this, yesterday I had four downloads.

Really, four downloads. Four downloads. I mean, four downloads.

Last week, I got 177 downloads. This week so far, 36. The week before, 77.

So I don't know why. Wow. That's beyond, beyond, beyond just, it's like, what? Wow, I have no words.

But to give you an example, it's four o'clock, half four, and I've had 2,550 downloads so far today. Yesterday I had 5,953. It's been a bit of a quiet day today, but I have, this is only the, I think this is the first recording of the day, I think.

Might be the second, I don't know. But it's like, four. Four.

Four. That's not even a number, I know it is a number, but it's like, what, what? What, what? If I was getting, I don't know, maybe 100 a day, then I know that I could start releasing new recordings, and the stats would go up, and it would grow, potentially grow into being a, I don't know, 20, 30,000 a month podcast, over maybe the next six months or seven months. So I'll be getting maybe, you know, anything up to a thousand a day.

But when I'm only getting four a day, that means that the only people that come across me generally are going to be accidentally. That's an accident, isn't it? And that's a shame, because really, I mean, I don't mean to blow smoke up into my own ears, but I would have said, this is personally my opinion, that my chronic pain relief sessions are the best things I ever did. Now, no one else agrees.

Nobody. Nobody agrees with me. And it wouldn't be so bad.

It would be worse if no one agreed and just thought everything I did was rubbish, but that's not the case. I'm very fortunate that I've got, I've got a following for different podcasts I do. There's crossover.

There is a crossover. So Rachel, for example, she listens to the Deep Sleep Whisper Hypnosis ones and to the Let Me Boy The Sleep podcast. I've got people, followers, listeners, fans.

Can I use the word fan without sounding like a dick? I don't know. Fans. Someone told me once, Boston, my friend Boston, said that she was a fan of mine and I never really used the word fan.

I never really thought of, I never felt worthy. Genuinely, I'm being serious here. I never felt worthy or even thought of myself as being someone that would have a fan.

Now, I know I've had some fans, I suppose, over the years and people that have really kind of just really loved what I do. This is going back 13 years ago, 14 years ago. You know, this is not, it's not a new thing in a sense.

I had a lady in Australia and she used to take me, she actually made a video of, she took me on a holiday with her. She went on a cruise and she used to listen to my pain relief stuff and she took me on a cruise and she had her iPod and she took pictures with her husband and her iPod and even made a video and everything. I mean, that was beautiful.

She was my biggest fan at the time and I had another lady, gosh, I should remember her name now, this is terrible, Sebastian was friends with her as well and she was, I don't think anyone was a bigger fan of mine than hers. She listened to everything I did and this is long before I did the let me go to sleep or a lot of the stuff that I'm doing now. She used to listen to my, used to watch the Jason Chat videos and she used to, I don't do anymore, but I used to do those.

She used to listen to all of my recordings. She was, she was around and she died but she was around when I first got Andre. She loved Andre and I can't remember, it's not that I've forgotten her name, but I think that I was just sad when she passed away that I just kind of, yeah, I've forgotten her name but Liz, her name was Liz Berman and so this is the this is the last message.

She sent me a message nearly every single day for, just going to see how far back. She used to, yeah, I spoke to her on the phone a few times as well because she was so, she just, it wasn't that long actually, it was only for a year unless I deleted no, I think I probably, I went through a phase where I used to delete messages so I've only got her messages that go back to the 15th of October 2014. The first message I've got and I'm not going to read anything out personal but she passed away in 2015.

The last message I got from her was in November 2015 but she said I just woke up and I, I could really easily go back to sleep. Yes, I had 12 sleep. What, 12 hours sleep? I could send you, I could send, I want rid of it.

Oh, this is it. Stay tuned for next episode where Liz has a fight with Jason's pet Scribble over a cookie. So you think about this, this is 2014.

That's when I used to go to the Scribbles because that's before I got Andre. I used to, a lot of people listening to this perhaps weren't listening to me back then but I used to, I was going through my, I'd just lost my job and my routine and I had a routine probably in some ways more of a routine than I do now but I had a routine. I used to go to the park and feed the squirrels.

Not just any old rubbish. I'd go to the supermarket and buy, I think it was hazelnuts and the squirrels got to know me. They'd sort of, they'd just congregate and it's almost like they're looking out for me because some of them would be at the entrance and they'd be following me and then they'd be following me as I left as well.

Honestly, it was like being a Pied Piper which you don't really want to have that name to you in a park. Oh, here comes the Pied Piper. Call the police.

And I, so I used to feed the squirrels and I think I took a few pictures as well and put them on Facebook but as I normally do I've deleted all that stuff probably. Okay, so I'm trying to see if I can read, what I can read out. This is something about, I want to see if she wrote anything about Andre.

So I did speak to her on the phone a couple of times and she was married I think. Yeah. Right, okay.

Oh, come on. Sorry, I'm being very in a minute. Wow.

So this, I'm just trying to go to I swear. She's typing for a soundbite pillow. So she tells you, occasionally she tells me about you know, the recordings that I played and she likes it.

Right. Hi Jason, I hope you're moving in here. Out of the new house already.

So this is when I moved. 20th of April. So she, I'm going to relate to something.

So she mailed a letter. She mailed a letter to me. Sorry, right, I'll move on.

Anyway, she got ill. When she was in the hospice she actually wrote me. I wanted to keep a hospice diary on YouTube or just record them and press the thing to put them on YouTube.

Like I did with my dancing hypnosis. Another hypnosis trial. Sometimes I miss her messages.

But she was This is a bit. Yeah, she basically 6th of November 2015 she said, kind of said goodbye. How come I didn't, why didn't she mention Andre? To be fair, I think she was busy.

Okay, that's weird. It's weird to read through things in the past. Sometimes.

Anyway, I'll move on from that. Oh, here we go. Oh, have I read? I don't know if I've read this to you.

Oh, yeah. So this is the latest on Messy Messy. She's been saying, how are you today? Yes.

Hello there. Hello. Hi.

Hi. Hello. Hello.

How are you today? Fine, thanks. How can I help you? Hello there. Fine, thanks.

How can I help you? So Tuesday she sent a message, which I might have read out, but I'm a stranger on Facebook. And I came across your profile, and it looks interesting to add you as my friend. And I decided to add you as my friend.

And I hope you don't mind me adding you as my friend. So by adding you as my friend, means that can we chat to know more about each other, if you don't mind? Are you there? And I put, what do you think about my profile? And she's just written, just written another message to me saying, hello. So if I write down, what do you think about my profile? Should I write, do you have smelly feet? Or is that wrong? So yeah, that was, those were the messages.

So I'm thinking I'd quite like to do some pain relief. I mean, I had, this is my chair. I had, what did I have? I had a lovely message years ago.

I've mentioned this before probably. But it's, this is back in the days where we had the Microsoft messaging, do you remember messenger? Like the original messenger. And I was, I was everywhere on the internet, you know? So I think I just, I had a messenger account and I had some young lad text me or send me a messenger message, messenger, a messenger message.

Saying that his mum had been ill and for the last few months of her life, she'd been listening to me to help with the pain and stuff. Help to cope. I was like, wow.

I had no idea who he was or who she was. And this is a long time ago. This is back in probably 2009, 2000.

Yeah. So it's quite, about 11 years ago. So that's nice.

I'm sure I had another message the other day. I just seem to recall having, oh, messy message replying. Oh, I thought she was about to reply there.

So I wrote down, what do you like? I'm going to pull up. What should I, what should I text her next? What should I say? Ooh. Oh, she's about to.

You can hear the, the weird sound of the phone. In fact, if I turn the sound off, hopefully it'll stop. Silent mode on.

Come on. What's she going to write? It looks very good. Oh, I've got an idea.

Do you like my blonde hair? Hair. So I've written, do you like my blonde hair? I haven't even got blonde hair. Let's see what she replies.

Okay. Are you single or married with any kids? I have 12 children and five boys and five girls. Okay.

So she said, are you single or married with any kids? I have 12 children, five boys and five girls. See, this is the way to trick them. Because if she sends a generic, or she, or he, whoever sent this, sends a generic message, it means they won't reply to the particular message.

So when I said, do you like my blonde hair? Okay. Are you single or married with any kids? Not quite a minute. Your picture doesn't have blonde hair.

Or you look like a fairy in your picture. Because I am a fairy. So see what I do, if I get, I haven't had any for quite a while.

But if I get messages, like a phone call, rather, from a salesperson trying to sell me a mobile phone contract, or I don't know, trying to get me to change my tariff on my gas or electric, depending on where I am, depends on what I say to them, if I'm in public. So yeah, so if I'm on a bus and I've done this, I say to them, can you wait a minute? I said, can you phone me back in about, I don't know, maybe in a half hour?

Because I'm on the toilet and I've actually, I've run out of toilet paper and I have to wait until my husband gets back so that I can wipe my bum. And I said that on the bus and someone in front of me was giggling.

Okay, she's replied. Messy message replied. So I said, I have 12 children, five boys, five girls.

Oh, okay. I'm single, never been married. How old are you? Okay, right.

99. So let's see. She replies to that.

Now, if she was looking to date someone and they said, how old are you? Well, first of all, they said, I have 12 children. It might be, it might not be the ideal person. 12, 12, 12, that's a heck of a lot to take on.

But also, if she's out to meet someone for their money, no one with 12 children is going to have any money. It's just, even a millionaire wouldn't have any money with 12 children. And also the fact that I've got five boys and five girls, not questioned that.

So is she going to question the 99? She's replied. I'm 33. And you know, age is just a number.

What work do you do for a living? Okay. I am a Okay, right. Okay.

I am a pubic hair shaver in hospitals, part time. I'm retired due to my elderly age. So I see she replies to this.

So here's how it's gone so far. And it's the first conversation I've had really. All the rest has been hello, hello.

What do you think about my profile? What do you like about it? It looks very good. Do you like my blonde hair? Okay. Are you single and married with any kids? I have 12 children, five boys, five girls.

Oh, okay. I'm single, never been married. How old are you? 99.

I'm 33. And you know, age is just a number. What work do you do for a living? I am a pubic hair shaver in hospitals, part time.

I'm retired due to my elderly age. She's written back. I'm doing my nursing training.

Do you have hangouts so that we can talk there to know more about each other there? Hangout? I don't know what that is. So I'll try and get on the phone and talk to her while we're doing this. What's a hangout? Speak on here.

Hey. Speak on here. Speak on here.

Call me. If she does, I'll put it on loudspeaker and then we can listen to what she's got to say or he. I'm doing my nursing training.

Do you have hangouts? It's really bad. She actually is a a real normal, you know, genuine human being. And I'm going to feel guilty but I don't believe because she's clearly not read anything that I've put.

Now, I'm a pubic hair shaver in hospitals part-time. I'm 99. I've got 12 children.

Come on. Can you down Can you download it now? What's the link? The link. Ah, this is good.

Can you download it now? So this will be it. She'll want me to download a link which is going to cost me money. Probably.

Go to some website or something like that. Ah, you got me 30 years too late, my dear. I don't know how anyone I don't know how any middle-aged men get caught out because it should be it should be worldly enough to not get caught out by stuff like this.

Oh, she's sending me a link. Yep. She sent me a link.

Play Google.com Android Talk Hangouts Play Google Hangouts Ah. Now, should I talk to her on here? Or would that be wrong? Would it be wrong? Would it be wrong? Hmm. So let's have a look.

So I just want to make sure that by going to Hangouts she can't take any money from me. Mind you, I haven't got any money, so can't take nothing from nothing. Get started.

Okay, right. Da da da da da. Okay.

So I'm going to I'm going to message her and say, yeah. Because I've got a Hangout already so I'm going to just go in and say yeah, let's do Hangout, man. Let's do it.

Let's do it now. Yeah. Okay.

Let's do it. I've got the baby all unready. So let's just see.

How it's going to work. She's sending me a message now. Or he, okay.

Okay, what? So how do I do it? I don't know how Hangout works. Hangout. I genuinely don't know how it works.

If you're done, let me know. Done. If I'm done what does she mean? What does she mean? If you are done.

Now, I'll just let everyone know if this is a genuine person then I'm going to delete this part. I'm going to delete it. Right, she'd come across my profile.

Randomly. You don't know. How many billions of profiles are there? On Facebook.

Fastbook. Let's have a look. Can you give the email address? Yeah, that's how they get you.

That's how they get you. No. You give me yours.

You give me yours. Yeah. Yeah.

If they get an email address they might have a way of breaking into it. And I don't want that. Not really.

Not particularly. Oh, here's exciting stuff. For the first time in absolutely years and I'm talking years and years and years and years.

I bought myself some salad cream. This was last Saturday. So here's the email address.

Only one. Spell only one. Text me now.

Yeah, sure. 4469 at gmail dot com. Text me.

No, let's talk on here. On here. On the Facebook phone.

Yeah, that's better. No, let's talk on here on a Facebook phone. What would be the point of going to a messenger when you've got a phone? You could talk, you could do video, everything on Facebook.

You text me there so that we can hear later. We will talk on Hangout. No.

We can talk here. I have decided. I have spoken.

So I've said no. We could talk here. I have spoken.

I have spoken. If that doesn't get a reaction, I know that it's not a real person. They should be really like, who are you talking to? I have spoken.

Oh dear. Oh dear. I thought she was going to reply.

The thing is, you can always tell when someone's talking to somebody else. So if you're having a message with someone on Facebook, the little dots come up, don't they? And it looks like you're about to get a message. It goes off again.

It means that they've written a message to someone else. So you do not have their full attention. No, we can talk here.

I have spoken. Sorry, that tickles me. It's just, it's rude, but it's funny.

It's not something that I would define. The trash heap has spoken. Oh my.

I do not have much time on here. That's why I want us to talk and hang out. Okay.

No, it is not. Not okay. As I said, I am.

I am demanding that we converse on Facebook. Now stop wasting my time. Stop wasting my time.

I am 99 and may not have long left. Especially with the current gonorrhea episode. My neds have turned into rotten parsnips.

I will leave you everything in my will if you would just talk to me here now. Now. So, I think that's quite nice.

I do not have much time on here, so that's why I want us to talk and hang out. Okay. No, it is not okay.

As I said, I am demanding that we converse on Facebook. Now stop wasting my time. I am 99 and may not have long left.

Especially with the current gonorrhea episode. My neds have turned turned into rotten parsnips. I will leave you everything in my will if you would just talk to me here now.

So, I wonder if she'll reply. By the way, if anyone's thinking, how dare you talk to a woman like that? It's not a real person. It's a scammer.

A scammer, may I tell you. Because if it wasn't a scammer, they would say something incredibly rude to me right now. Wow.

Okay. I will talk to you here now. But you have to add me on Hangout now.

We will talk first. Okay. I'm just writing this.

I said. Okay. She said, Okay.

We'll talk to you here now. But you have to add me on Hangout now. I replied.

We will talk first. And if I survive the excitement, we can then discuss our marriage plans. She replied, Okay.

Come on, people. If this is a genuine person, they wouldn't be saying that, would they? Okay. I replied.

I'm nearly 100. Will you please call me? Yeah. So I'm nearly 100.

Will you please call me? So I'm going to wait. And she's putting text me on Hangout. We will talk on Facebook.

Okay. See, it's a scam. Trying to get details from me.

No. Talk. To me.

Here. Now. So I put, she said, text me on Hangout.

And we will still talk on Facebook. Okay. I said, No.

Talk to me here right now. Don't make me tell you again. She says, What is your favorite color? That's her response to that.

And I wrote down nipples. So let's see. Let's see if she applies to that.

Or he. I'm guessing it's probably a man. It could be a bot.

It could be like, like not even a human being. It could be sort of, my favorite color is blue. Why would I care? Why would I care? So that's, that's rude.

If I don't get a response, then, even if it's someone that's scamming, eventually they're going to get annoyed. Surely. Why would I care? She told me her favorite color is blue.

Why would I care? What have you learned from your past relationship? What have I learned from my past relationship? Nothing. Okay. So what I've written back is, she said, what have you learned from your past relationship? What have you learned from your past relationship? So I've replied, having a micro penis is not the end of the world.

Apart from that, she had a nice body. So let's see what else she writes back. Oh, straight back.

She thinks I'm on the end of her net. She wrote, I have meet a lot of stresses and obstacles in my past relationship. You know, I mean, simply, that was too long a sentence for her to have typed that in.

So, unless she typed it in before I even started my one. So she goes on about that. How big is your family? Do you have siblings? All of my family perished in... Okay.

So how big is your family? Do you have siblings? All of my family perished in a fake submarine accident that I planned so that I could get the inheritance. She wrote, I will talk to you later. That's the thing that put her off.

That's the one thing. I crossed the line. That was the line not to cross.

Oh, my goodness. Now, if there is a real person, which it isn't, it's just ridiculous. See all friends or mutual.

So she's friends with three of my mutual people. So what I've done is I might keep her on it just for fun. Or in fact, nah, I'm gonna get rid of her now.

So I don't like her. Don't like those fake, fake, fake people. Block.

Block. Block on Messenger. Block.

Block on Facebook. Block. Done.

So that's another, another knob head gone. Now, usually that would have been me wasting my time. But I managed to entertain the world whilst doing it.

So that's gone. That conversation. Is it still on there? Yeah, the conversation is still on there.

So what was it? Let me see. What have you learned from your past relationship? Having the micropene, this is not the end of the world. Apart from that, she had a nice body.

Helped her use her family. Well, my family parishioner fakes up an accident that I planned so that I could get the inheritance. I will talk later.

When I said I have the micropene, this is not the end of the world. She says, I have a lot of stresses and obstacles in my past relationship. When I say, when she said, what is your favourite colour? And I say nipples.

She says, my favourite colour is blue. And I write, why would I care? Her reply was, what have you learned from your past relationship? I mean, come on, you text me here so we can later talk on Hangout. And I put, no, you can talk here.

I have spoken. I do not have much time on here. That's why I want us to talk on Hangout, okay? No, it is not okay.

As I said, I am demanding that we converse on Facebook. Now stop wasting my time. I am 99.

I may not have long left. Especially with the current gonorrhea episode. My nads have turned into rotten parsnips.

I will leave you everything in my will if you will just talk to me here, now. Okay, I will talk to you here now. But you have to add me on Hangout.

We will talk first. And if I survive the excitement, we can then discuss our marriage plans. Okay.

And I put, I am nearly 100. Will you please call me? Text me on Hangout. We will talk on Facebook.

Okay. No, talk to me here, now. Don't let me tell you again.

No real person would have a conversation like that. Absolutely ridiculous. And the reason that I do that with people is because I can't stand scammers.

And not everybody realizes that they are scams. I have actually seen friends get caught by that. Actually get caught because they have not done it before.

They have gone online and suddenly they are getting messaged by women as well. Oh, you are really nice. I like your profile.

They are not real people. I have had it. Honestly, I have a few times got talking to them and then they say oh, can you send me some money because I need a new phone.

Okay. So I send them the money, of course. And what I started doing is when people phoned up especially if it was like a foreign call centre because some of them are so dodgy.

They just don't even pretend to be real. And they say oh yes, we are here to give you a special deal. And I said wait a second, have you got a piece of paper? Here is my card number.

And I start just reading out 74545944446215931 And they say what? So that is my credit card number. Are you ready? It is 555 624 921 8465 3121 774 What are you doing, sir? That is my credit card number. I don't want to hear about the product.

Here it is. It is a number. You take out the money it is that you need and that is good.

They don't know what to do. Throws them right off. Throws them right off.

Well that is it I think. I love salad cream. I love salad cream.

So I got some on Saturday and wow. Haven't bought any for years and I do love it. Don't like mayonnaise but I love salad cream.

It is almost perfection. Might sound weird but it really is. Salad cream and chips is amazing as well.

In fact I quite like a bit of both. A bit of tomato sauce and salad cream. Salad cream is beautiful.

In fact I now want salad cream and chips. In fact I think I've got some microwave chips I can put in. I might do that now.

I'm ever so excited. And I hope I haven't missed that opportunity for a relationship. It seemed to be going so well.

I mean I can't believe how rich he was. It's not a real person. It might have been a person but it's not a genuine person.

That's what I mean. Because whoever it was whether it was a man or a woman contacting lots of people at the same time which is something you could do a lot easier on a messenger. You have lots of profiles like the messenger.

It's quicker than being on Facebook. You don't catch them on Facebook and transfer them to messenger. Anyway I'm going to go.

Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy. Lots of love. Bye.