#414 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (30th May 2020)

Hello and welcome to Jason Newland dot com. My name is Jason Newland and this is what you want. Andre, this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

Please only listen and you can safely close your eyes. Andre is on a mission. He's on a mission.

He was just scratching at the front door just now. Now he's, he's doing some weird things. I already took him out.

No, he doesn't want to jump up on me. I took him out for a walk about six, half six, seven, something like that. And it was too warm for him.

He just laid down on the grass in the field and just laid there, refused to get up. He wanted to go to sleep or maybe he wanted to sunbathe. I don't know, but either way, I'm not just going to stand there.

Just, you know, just stand there and do what? I mean, if I had some benches or some seats in the, the field to sit on, I could have perhaps sat down and meditated or, you know, normal stuff you do in public. But no, no. I kept giving him chances after chance to walk.

I'd pick him up and he'd say, no, daddy, let me down now. I let him down and then just lay there, just lay on the ground. I wasn't even trying to sort of walk away.

He just wanted just to be sitting, laying down, sitting, laying. He just wanted to be there. Just wanted to be there.

So there you go. Did I say only listen when you can safely close your eyes? If I didn't, then I have now. So there you go.

Got one message. Hope you change that slipper that has got a small from another universe. But if it makes Andre happy, then keep it.

Keep up the great work, Jason and Andre. You always cheer me up every night. From Ryan.

Thank you. That's very nice of you. And I'm sure I had another message from someone.

This is a message from... Hi, Jason. Please just, please see this as just a small contribution. Wouldn't I would donate more, but my budget is quite tight right now.

Lots of love, Jen. So I've got a PayPal gift from Jen. Thank you, Jen.

It's very, very nice of you. I do appreciate it. If anyone would like to gift me to help cover the costs of running this service, um, please go to paypal.me forward slash Jason Newland.

The link is on my website. And I had another message. I don't know who by.

Someone sent me a message saying, I feel like I know Andre, but I can't find it. Maybe it's in Facebook. Oh, I can't find it.

That's very unusual. Yeah, I had a message and it said something in the, in the way of, let's say, I feel like I know Andre and, oh, I think it was on a, that's it. I think it might be actually on the video.

I put a video of Andre on here and, and then I've got a, he's the boss. Do you know that yet? It's actually a moniker. Yep, I do.

It was a video of him, um, in the field a few days ago being very naughty. Jen says, so funny. Rachel, Andre is adorable, but a total wind up merchant.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. A hundred percent. So go to my Jason Newland hypnotist page.

Let's see what's on here. Probably got some, uh, comments, maybe about comments. No, I got people watched out.

It's hasn't had many, but 179 views. I think about 173 of those are me just rewatching it. Makes me laugh.

Makes me giggle. It tickles my giggle area. Inbox.

I don't know. It's not weird, but I just, I genuinely thought I had a message. I read it.

There's nowhere else it would be because I don't, it's either on Facebook. I suppose it could be on Twitter, but one comment. Oh, let's see.

Yeah, I found it. Sarah, this is on my, let me bore you to sleep Facebook page. Such a character.

I feel like I know him. Yeah. Thanks Sarah.

That's, he is, um, I suppose because I talk about him a lot and then you get to see him in action. I took another video of him, I think today, and another picture of him when he was up. You have actually got a picture of him when he was asleep in that bit of grass when he just lay down, he rolled around to make a circle in the grass.

And he just laid there. He just looked at me. At one point he looked at me and said, well, why are you still here, daddy? Can't you see I'm busy? That's like, so rude.

But at the same time, so damn cute. It's amazing. He just, uh, it's very confusing.

I have confusing feelings about him because he's the cutest little thing I've ever seen in my life. But when he's scratching at the front door, I want to tell him off. I really want to tell him off.

So next week, the sporting events are allowed to be back in England. I don't know if it's the whole of the United Kingdom, but Britain or whatever you want to call it. I don't know.

But in England, I think, um, not all sporting events, but quite a few, uh, rugby, not because it's such a high contact sport, but, um, horse racing. Oh, he's going to jump onto the table. No, he isn't.

The tables. Come on then. Oh, he's just jumped up on me.

Just make sure you don't jump on a microphone. Hello, mate. You all right? Oh, get off my nipple.

Stop it. Stop it. Give daddy kisses.

Oh, you're a very loving boy, aren't you? Sometimes, sometimes when you're not being naughty, when you're not being naughty. Yeah. I love the way he pushes me away though, with his hands.

Like when I get, I'm rubbing against him, like with my beard. He's like, get off, get off. Keep that spiky thing away from me.

Yeah. I'm just, I'm holding with two hands now and he's just, just looking around. I don't think he knows what to do next.

He wants to do something. He wants to get out. To some mischief.

But at the same time, he wants my attention and he likes me cuddling him and grabbing him. And, you know, but he doesn't, at the same time, he also doesn't want me to. It's a weird one because he loves cuddles, but he also wants to be in control.

There's a big sort of, he wants to be the boss. And I think he thinks when he's being cuddled, he can't, if he can't just do what he wants, when he wants, he doesn't like it. But I don't know, I'd grab hold of him and not let him move.

If he wants to get off, then he gets off. Don't you? You could just go to sleep. He's covered with all kinds of things from the field.

I don't even know what they are. All bits of, hopefully, my fleece, but, eh? You're a good boy, aren't you? You're a good boy. It wasn't earlier when I was in bed.

He, lovely, sneezing my face. That's nice. Cheers, mate.

He's laying all the way back, but he actually purposely aimed at my face to sneeze. Have you not heard of social distancing? Have you not heard? I have the news on every day. Surely you should be aware.

You should be aware of it. Yes. Why do you think I wear that funny mask when I go to the shops? Why do you think I wear those silly gloves whenever I go out? Nodding's not good.

Why are you nodding at me? He's nodding, hopefully, so you'll stop talking. Okay. He's now laying on his back.

So, basically, in between my legs. I've got my legs together. I'm sitting down.

Yeah, lovely. He's still aimed it at me. Thanks.

You want to get down? All right, then. Go away, then. Go away.

Go away. Bye-bye. I don't need you.

I was just thinking, and I was walking back with him. I was holding him as I was walking back from the fields. I just said to him, I don't know what life would be like without him.

It's, you know, nearly five years now I've had him. And to us, five years in September, so we're in nearly in June. So in over three months, and it'll be pretty much five years.

It's weird. And he's been here all that time. And apart from when he was little, really tiny, he just, to me, doesn't look any different.

You know, there are times when I think, oh, he does look different. And other times when I think he doesn't, which is a completely pointless statement, really, isn't it? But when he looks up at me, I think, oh, that's the little baby. That's a little baby Andre that I remember.

He just looks up at me from the ground. It's very much like that picture I've got on Facebook, on my public Facebook page. Not my Facebook hypnosis page.

It's just he's a bigger version of that. So he wants to get into his cage. He doesn't even want to go into the cage, but he wants to have access to it.

So I got the door closed. He wants access to it, even though he doesn't want, now that he can't get into it, he wants to get into it. So maybe if I stop him from, what can I stop him from doing that I want him to do? If I stopped him scratching at the door, maybe if I, no, because he didn't want to scratch at the door, what if I stopped him from, no, stopped him from not scratching at the door? That doesn't really make sense, does it? It made sense when I first thought of it and it, it left my feet to go to my brain.

You know, the idea started in my feet and maybe that's the reason as I should start a bit closer to my head. So last night, wow, because it's now 9.33 in the evening and yesterday I did do a Let Me Boy To Sleep. But today, normally I make recordings starting from like midnight to anywhere up to sort of six or seven o'clock.

But last night I went to bed about half nine, maybe, half, maybe 10, half nine. And I got up at about one in the afternoon. So I was in bed for, what was that, 12, 13, 14, yeah, about six, 15, 16 hours.

So I didn't feel very well. I still feel a bit, a bit icky today, a little bit. I'm okay, but a little bit, but all right, if you know what I mean.

I'm getting there, but not just yet. It's that kind of, as my man used to say, anyhow, I'm feeling anyhow, any old way, I'm feeling anyhow. It's her way of saying, it feels a bit, bit out of sorts, but not, I'm feeling anyhow.

So that's how I'm feeling today. I'm just going to move the microphone. I don't know what was going on the other day, because the microphone was clicking.

I don't like it when it does that. I don't know what I was doing to cause it to click. I saw I was doing some kind of physical movement, which scratched the microphone.

I don't recall doing such a movement, movement. Anyway, so let's see if I've got any other messages. Oh yeah, I got a message from a website.

It says firewall. That's great. That's a brilliant message.

Thanks. That's on my review. So I'm going to have to get rid of that.

What the point is of them sending, putting reviews like that on my website? No message, nothing on my Skype, nothing on Google. It says, what does it say? Oh God, I got a weird message on Google. I don't know.

I just don't know how many is it. Another attempt to process the $29 US dollars. I thought it was 30.

Oh yeah, because I pay other stuff. 29 US dollars for your May 16th, 2020 bill has failed. We'll try charging you again on June 13th, 2020.

You can also pay the outstanding amount directly from your bill in Shopify. If we aren't able to successfully process the payment for this bill before June 13th, 2020, your store will be frozen. This means you and your customers won't be able to access your store or place orders.

Make sure you have enough funds to cover the total cost of your bill. You can check with your credit card issuer for more information about why this payment failed. I'm a little bit confused by that.

I don't get it, because I'm supposed to have quite a bit of money going out on the first of the month. That's when the internet, the phone, the iPad, the telephone, the TV license, the commute, what's it called, the poll tax. I don't call it poll tax, but all that stuff.

There's a bunch of stuff that goes out on the first of the month, but a bunch of cash has gone out of my account. I don't know, it won't tell me what's been taken out and for what. What and for what? There's £80, £82 has been taken out of my account and it's not telling me what for, which is a bit of a strange one.

If none of that is for any of the stuff to go out on the first, I'm in trouble. Wow, it's weird. I'm usually quite good with my finances.

I mean, the only thing I paid out for really is did some shopping, that was £44 in a local shop. Well, it's not a local, it's a walk, but and that was just, wasn't even that much stuff really. Then I got a delivery of Frozen and Frozen meals, that was £60.

A couple of little bills, Netflix, £5.99. Now TV, £1.60. Apple.com, £0.79. That was for... Wow. Yeah, it just doesn't make sense. So it's always that six, that's £100.

£60, £100, £18, £70. So £60, £100, £110, £120, £130. So £130 take off £300 or £300 take off £130.

What's that? £170, isn't it? £130. I don't know what's going on behind me. It's all gone, pitter patter potter, and they don't know why.

Oh, but then I had the Spreaker, that was £58.92. So that came out. Yeah, it was, that was what, two days ago. Oh, okay, fair enough.

Wow, why didn't I see that? TV. TV. I can't even see it.

Spreaker. I'm confused. I am confused.

Because I paid the Sky mobile, which was blimey. I have to look into this because there's something wrong there. Andre, shush.

I don't know. It's weird. This money just seems to go so quickly, so quickly.

I don't know where. Probably didn't help that I started a new podcast with SoundCloud. But the reason for that is because I just wanted to have my SoundCloud podcast back.

So yeah, that's only £10 a month, so it's not a lot. So Jen's updated her profile picture. I get a lot of adverts trying to sell me sales courses on Facebook.

Maybe it's because I listen to a lot of... Really? Go on then. Go on then. So he does this little begging for me to pick him up.

And I put my hands down to pick him up. He looks at me in disgust and just runs away. I don't get it, Andre.

I don't get it. Whatever it is. Why can't you behave yourself? I don't want to go out again either.

What? It's nearly 10 o'clock. I don't want to take him out. I might have to just to shut him up.

Just to placate him. Placate. Never been a big fan of placation.

So that's all I've got. So I've got my... Let's see what other things are on my story. So that's what I do.

So I've got my phone. I use this when I'm on my... When I'm doing podcasts, doing this podcast, I use my phone to look up stuff. And it's useful.

That was boring, wasn't it? Now that was a boring sentence. Yeah, I look at my phone because then I can look at stuff and... Yeah, that was very, very boring. There's not much really going on.

But there never is really at the weekend. Not as far as, you know, sort of... Even my stats go down on the weekend. Yep, he said the word.

Down. Stats. Yeah, it's... Well, I've not produced anything all day until I did this, until I'm doing this.

And I don't know if I've even done 2000 today. It's a very quiet day. I rarely go below 4000 now.

But if I do nothing, if I don't make any new recordings, people don't seem to like it for some reason. I thought people would be grateful just to have a break. Oh, I don't have to listen to him today.

Okay, let's have a look. Yeah, 2113 so far. That's really low.

I haven't gone below 3000 in probably months in a day. Yesterday 4267. The day before 5687.

The day before that 4788. 3655 the day before that. So that was a very low day.

So what was that? Saturday today, Saturday, Friday, Thursday, Wednesday, Tuesday. So it's rare that I go under 4000. But to go under 3000 is going to be... That's an oddity.

That really is an oddity. I mean, yeah, wow. Yeah, this all of last week as well, I didn't go.

I didn't go below. Well, I pretty much didn't go below 4000 once. The week before that, I went just below 4000 once.

3800. Yesterday's time was between four and five. Some had gone over five, some had gone up to 6000.

So yeah. I know it's boring. Don't worry about it.

I know it's boring for people to hear. But what's weird about it is I don't care. Because it's supposed to be boring.

I already get upset that I'm being boring when that's the point of the whole thing. I'll give you an idea. Here's how it's going so far.

December 2019, 116,687. And that was the top I'd had. That was the best month of the whole year.

67,269. January this year, 116,687. Which is quite a jump, isn't it? February, 108,200.

March, 149. Wait a minute, that's weird, isn't it? No, that's not right. Oh, no.

So February, 108,644. March, 108,200. April, 149,892.

And May, so far this month, 143,788. Which just goes, I'm nearly at the 150,000 mark a month. I know that I'm over a million a year now.

I don't go below 100,000 a month. I don't know. Well, I'm going to say it's not possible, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen.

So what is it? Let's just check. See, 100,000 a month times by 12 is 1.2 million. At the moment, 150,000, which is kind of where it's going, 1.8 million.

So to get it to 2 million, so what we'll have to do, 2 divided by 12, I need 166,666 to get to the 2 million a year, which I'm nearly there, aren't I? Let's face it, 166,000, that's a month away. I'll be hitting that next month, which would be 2,000. I wonder what to be, which would be 2 million a year.

So what's 3 million? 3 million divided by 12, 250,000 a month. So I reckon, yeah, what's it? Let's say if I go up by 10,000 a month. So next month, let's be generous and say 150 next month.

Let's just be at the lower side. So what's that? March, January. What is it? June.

What is it now? May, June. So June, July, August, September, October, November, December. So there's seven months left.

So that's 70, 150. So it's June, July, August, July. So another 60.

So 150 plus 60. No, it's 150. I'd say 20,000 a month, really, realistically.

So go up by 20,000 a month. So looking at, yeah, 250,000 a month by Christmas. So I'm 250,000 divided by 30.

It's only 8,000 a day, 8,333. And I'm reaching 6,000 sometimes. So it's only a couple of thousand, like 3,000 away.

Forgetting today being, you know, I've only had about 42 downloads today, but forgetting that. Million. It sounds nice, doesn't it? Million.

I'm sure it'd sound nicer in, you know, the context of money. But I like the context of podcast downloads and listens. Million.

I've had about, I don't know how many I've had so far. 1.2 million downloads so far, I think, altogether. Maybe a little bit more.

But it'd be nice, you know, if I had another, once again, it's a 5 million. It's a 3 million a day, 3 million a year, 5 million a year, 10 million a year. Would that be impressive? I don't know.

Considering a lot of podcast hosts, and this is something that I've done a lot of research about. So I do know my stuff with this, just because I've been on every single podcast host that there is and researched it. And I've used most of them at one point.

And so I've been experimenting for years with these different podcasts to use their hosting. And a lot of them don't even offer as much storage. So they're not for people like me who are, you might say I'm quite prolific in some ways.

I make quite a few recordings over a period of time. So I don't know. I mean, I wonder how many recordings I've made this month.

I could just hear people going, Oh, really? Oh, wow. How many recordings done this month? What's next? I got my podcasts. So I don't know.

It doesn't seem to update it on the view and edit. So let's see if it does. Yeah, it has.

It's fine. I don't know what it's saying view and edit, but I've got, I'm just going to see how many I've done this month in May so far, because on my Jason Newland podcast, I upload every single new one to there. And, you know, where, regardless of where it's from.

So this is just my, it just gives you an idea of how much work I actually do. Cause it might look like I don't do much, but just for those that may think all he ever does is just beg for money. And he just doesn't do anything.

He expects us to give him money. Well, actually, it's not asking for money for my work, just to cover the costs. I'm working for free.

Oh, back. That's all the way down again. I hate going down.

All right. Okay. Okay.

Okay. So May this year, or this month. So there's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76.

76 recordings I've made. One of those actually, one wasn't me. So it's 75.

Because one actually was a guest on the Deep Sleep one. So 75, 76 with this one. So 76 recordings.

That's quite a lot, isn't it? I mean, I can't calculate the amount of time that all those recordings come to. No, there is a way of doing it, but I'd have to add it all up and sort of make a folder and put all the recordings into a folder. And I could tell you exactly how much time that is of recording.

That's without the editing and all that stuff. Though I am quite interested. So 76.

I wonder how many? Yeah, that was just wondering how many I did in April. I won't go back because it takes forever on it. But yeah, that's that's quite a lot, isn't it? 76 recordings so far, including this one now.

And I think it's the 30th of April now. 31st tomorrow. So if I do one tomorrow, and potentially do another, another four, five even.

So I'm going to reach in the 80 for the whole month. 80 recordings. Wow.

And I'm pretty, pretty sure that at least for the let me bore you to sleep ones, there's at least in May, I did most days. Let's have a look. Let me have a look.

Okay, not every day. But third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, 10th, 11th, 13th, 14th. So I did most days, there's a couple of couple missing.

So I did about 20. I've done about 27 days out of 31, at least. So that's about over 30 hours just for these recordings.

30 hours of me waffling on. Can you hear him? Andre? Was he doing that before? He never does that. So that's the bathroom door.

So he scratches at the door first, and then he pulls the door open. I'm wondering if he's superstitious, because he scratches at the bathroom door, and then he can open it. Maybe that's why he scratches at the front door, because he thinks if he scratches first, the door will open, like it does with the bathroom.

So he's just run through that thing of scratching at this door, the door's already open, and scratch at the other door, where it was kind of partly open. And he goes to the front door. I've got a superstitious ferret.

And now I've got a superstitious ferret laying on my lap. What's going on with you, mate? What's going on with you? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? Why is your belly all wet? Have you just done a wee-wee? I have to wash my hands, don't I? Now he's licking my wrist. Which one? Which one? What? Hear the noise he's making? What? Oh, great.

Cheers. Just as I pick him up, he sneezes in my face again. Andre, I'll put a mask on you in a minute if you keep doing that.

He's so rude. He said to me, he said to me, I've been living with your fart. He said to me, Daddy, you know what? Because we were watching the news.

He said, I've been living with your fart with you for five years, nearly. The coronavirus doesn't scare me. I was like, that is so rude.

He said, nothing scares me now after living with you for five years. You and your snoring, smelly feet, farting, farting. I've never farted once in my life.

And as far as smelly feet go, I've got no idea. They're too far away from mine, too. With a nose like mine, I thought I'd be able to smell them from a hundred yards, but I can't smell my feet if they do stink.

I don't think they do. But he's, I've never farted. He farts, runs away, pretended to me.

I don't even know how to spell the word farting. And he said, well, yeah, but that doesn't mean anything, does it? Oh, it winds me up. Thesaurus.

What a stupid word, isn't it? Isn't that the most ridiculous name to give a book that explains meanings of words? Thesaurus. It's practically impossible to spell. It's hard to say.

I'm ever so angry about that, I am. So I've been listening. For those of you that actually do listen to me and are interested, those of you still listening, and just also two things to let you know that I know some people listen to these because they're mildly, mildly, very, very, very mildly entertaining.

I mean, I'm talking minimally, minimal, minimal entertainment. And for those that maybe don't find them as sleepiness enhancing, as would be preferable to that particular individual, I do have other podcasts that are very much hypnosis sleep, very, very sleepy inducing. The Deep Sleep Whisper ones, the Sleep Hypnosis Weekly two, but also my Relaxation for Stress podcast.

I have long relaxation sessions, some with music as well. Some that are just on their own half an hour, but with music 51 minutes. They're very relaxing and very sleep inducing.

And so yeah, maybe check those out. They're on my website. Everything I do or have done in the past pretty much is on my website.

But yeah, I think it's all the main stuff. I tried to upload the 251 to 300 bulk downloads that Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Blimey, that was a weird noise.

Andrea, was that you? That was a weird squeak. Wow. And yeah, my internet won't allow it.

Although, although, although, although, I've got a new... I never told you about this. I must have done. Maybe I didn't.

No, I don't think I've spoken to you since. I've got a new internet dongle, not dongle, like a connection thing today. Not today, yesterday.

It was after I'd done a recording. So it was during the daytime. And I, so I connected it.

I had to change my password on every single thing. So my laptop, even though the laptop's, it is on its way out. It cut off again today.

It freezes. The thing freezes. And I've emptied the laptop of most stuff.

So it's hardly any software on there. I'm literally just using it to upload, to edit the recordings and upload them. That's it.

Yeah, it's still freezing. The laptop's broken. And I've refreshed it, redone it to factory settings, everything.

And so I've got me iPad to replace the laptop, because the iPad, it's got a keyboard and everything. And the idea is, well actually, because I'm paying for it monthly, so I didn't have to pay out for, I keep, you know, for a laptop, didn't have to pay the whole amount. So I just got this, I'm paying it monthly.

It's about £36 a month. So it's a really good, good iPad. So I'm going to be using it for editing.

It's just, I've got to learn it. I've got to learn all this stuff. And I'm putting it off.

Because I know, and also it's going to cost money because the software, the soft, so it's an app. It's an app, I think it's not that much. It's about £48 or something.

And you have it forever, I think. So it might be less, but it's called ferrite or ferret with an e on the end. So I'm going to look into that.

I'm just going to look into sort of different things. That's supposed to be one of best ones. Adobe is supposed to be really good as well.

So it's a case of just getting everything synced together. Because I do all my recording on my tablet. This is an Android tablet.

So it's Sony. I've had this for quite a while. But all I use it for is recording.

So it's not clogged with anything else. And I get good sound out of it. I think it's the best sound I've had since I've been doing this.

Pretty good quality. And it's a big, it's not big screen, but it's big enough. And I use the app from the speaker on there.

So that's what I use this for. Which means that I have the phone so if I want to make videos, I could use the phone to make a video. I've got two microphones now.

So I could record the audio at the same time as recording the video, and then put them together in iMovie on the iPad. Once I learn how to use iMovie, and maybe put it in together into a video. So I've got the decent audio, and which means I don't really need the microphone for the... I didn't buy the microphone for... No, what I bought the microphone for, but I don't have... No, I don't have the extension.

That's a point. What I bought the microphone for was so that I could use... I could transcribe the audio as I was talking. But I thought if I plugged it into the microphone, it'd be a much better quality audio.

But unfortunately, I didn't realize this at the time, the extension, because I've got a little, I don't know what they call it, an extension lead or adapter. So that, which is... The iPhones use a lightning lead thing. The old... Because I've had iPhones for years, I've had a few of them over the years.

And they used to just be able to plug in your headphones, you know, with a normal cable. And it'd also be a different adapter, you know, so you could charge it. Now they don't have that.

The headphones go into the charging adapter, which is a lightning cable thing, they call it. But the lightning cable on the iPhone is different from the charger on the iPad. And it never used to be.

Well, actually, maybe it used to be. Yeah, to be fair, the last iPad I had was in 2011, I think, or 2012. So it's been a long time since I've had an iPad.

And back then, I didn't like it. Because it was just a screen, it was a tablet. But now I've got this one comes, I've got a keyboard for it.

So I can use it as a laptop. And I did a lot of research before I decided to get it. And there's no way I could afford to buy it if I bought it outright, I just can't.

But the fact that the place I get my internet from, they said, well, I didn't say it, but they allowed me to have it and then pay for it over about 100 years. So I'm hoping to really make some good use out of it. One terabyte storage just on the iPad itself, which is way more than the laptop's got.

It's quicker. It's just better in every way than a laptop that I've got. And not that there's anything wrong with the laptop, it's done its job.

I've had it for a couple of years. But I used them a lot. I mean, it's basically used for a business, although this isn't a business.

This isn't technically work or a job, but I've put so much time and been tapping around that keyboard on that laptop and editing 1000s of recordings, or however many has been over the last couple of years, and just worn it out. They don't have a great shelf life, these laptops. And it wasn't an expensive one either.

It is a Dell, but it was, I think it was discounted, and I think it cost about 400, 400 pound, I think when I bought it. And I got some help as well. I did get some help to buy it from people that listen.

But now it's just gone the same way as other laptops in the past. So, which is okay, I don't mind. It might be usable, I'll probably store it.

And it might be usable in the future for something else, something a little bit less, I don't know, maybe just internet, you know, or maybe, I suppose I could perhaps use it for watching Netflix and stuff, if I want to have the screen a bit closer to me, or have it just as a monitor, you know what I mean, have it like as a monitor connected to the iPad, something like that. But as far as using it for anything that's important, I mean, I worry a little bit when I'm doing editing, because if it freezes, which luckily it hasn't done, maybe a couple of times, but it hasn't hasn't frozen during the editing process, that's when it's going to be a little bit, you know, because normally the editing is fairly easy.

But sometimes, I do talk a little bit loudly during the recording, I don't mean to, but the voice, my voice goes up a little bit more away it goes, because on this screen on the tablet I'm using, so it's on, I've got a little cover thing which makes it stand up.

I wonder if I can get those for other parts of my body. And there's a green, which goes to like a, I don't know what you want to call it, like a gauge. And it goes green to yellow, it goes past the green to the yellow, then it means it's a little bit too high or too loud.

If it gets to red, it's just way too loud and probably distorted possibly. So I try to talk so it's just under the green, just under the yellow, maybe midway. Because first of all, I don't want it to be too quiet.

Because that is something that I had problems with in my early recordings, they were just too damn quiet. A lot of the recordings I used to do on my iPhone, too quiet. And I don't think that could be a problem now.

I don't think anyone could necessarily complain that my recordings are too quiet. They're a nice volume. And the whisper ones may be a bit too quiet, but that's they're supposed to be, really.

Not too quiet, but they're supposed to be quiet. But generally, and as I'm watching this thing on there, I can see that it's, you know, it's not going, it's just hitting the yellow a little bit. So just give you a little bit of insight into how I do these recordings.

You know, I used to have microphones and stuff and like sticking in my face, and I'd have to lean forward, but not get too close to the microphone. And I've had dictaphones, phones. And I started off with literally these dictaphone machines that were digital, I think.

That's when I first started in 2006. And I do remember, I couldn't hear that, that car just farted as it went past. Now that's impressive.

I did, I was living in the Buddhist community. And it was, I think it was 2006, pretty sure. And I had this little dictaphone machine.

And I probably paid a fair amount for it. I've spent probably over 20 grand on equipment, probably more than that over the years. Always trying to sort of get a better quality sound.

And I used to get the iPhone because it was a good quality picture. I've got a camera, which is still fine. So I want to get that out.

But unfortunately, the pictures on the phone seem to be outdoing the pictures on cameras. And the camera I've got, that's a really great camera. And what I'm going to do is this summer, I'm going to go out and start taking some pictures.

And I've got a strap so I can put it around me, around my neck and have it, you know, just between my boobies. So then I can just take pictures of the fields, take pictures of Andre. And it'll be beautiful, you know, that's what I'm looking to do with that camera.

And maybe, yeah, just to be a bit more creative and just have a bit of fun, just do have a bit of fun. And I want to take as many pictures of Andre as I can. I just want to eat him up sometimes.

Sometimes I just want to spit him out. But, you know, generally, I just want to cuddle him and just, I want as many pictures as I can of him. Just to, so I don't need pictures to remind me of him.

You know, let's say in the future, 10 years time, if I'm still around, unfortunately, he's not going to be. Because just because of, you know, the way things are. But just like my Nan, I've got a picture of my Nan over there with me.

There's a picture of my Nan in a picture frame, which is like a family picture frame that I've got, which I used to have on the wall. In fact, I still could have, but I used that particular hook for this microphone, just to hang it up, to keep it away from everything. It's a little lapel microphone.

And I do look at the picture of my Nan. It's a terrible picture of me. Honestly, I look like a clown.

My nose is, couldn't get redder. And I've got a red, red nose anyway, but that's, that was even, I've got signs of me doing dart practice in my nose, seriously. But my Nan's pale as anything.

Like, that's what I would like to look like. Not, I don't want to look like a 93 year old woman. I'm saying, I'd like to, when she did wear makeup probably.

Yeah, she did wear makeup, but maybe I could. But I don't need really to look at the picture to remind me of her. Because I remember, it's probably the same for everyone, isn't it? I don't know.

I know it's different for different people and everything like that, but, so it's a bit silly for me to just generalize like that, I know, especially if it's something that's important like this. But I remember her. I remember her.

I always will. Well, hopefully I always will. And it's, it's weird.

That's the weird thing about it, is I moved here she, she left in December, and I moved here in April. So at the end of December, she, she went and I moved here. And it's like, I started a new life, moving here.

And suddenly, I kind of had something that I'd always wanted. To have my own flat. And I wish I could get hold of that feeling sometimes a bit more often of gratitude, because it is, it's a worthwhile feeling to sort of be able to get hold of, I think, definitely for me, I feel.

So something I've wanted for so long, for so long to have a self contained flat, one bedroom, with a living room, both rooms are big, like most big sizes, biggest room I've ever lived in, really, just this, this living room, never lived in a room this big. And, and the room next to me is a little bit smaller, but it's still big enough to hold a shed, a garden shed, and a double bed, and still have room to maneuver, and there's no squashing around, you know, squashing around, what's that?

So, and a kitchen, nice sized kitchen, for one, I can't imagine living with another person generally, but I think you'd need, I'd need about 17 rooms, I think, if I was going to live with someone, you'd need to have your space.

Well, I think I'd need to have my space.

Imagine having an argument. And then all you can do is go into the next room. It's just like, imagine if you're living in a, some people live together in a studio apartment, where there's no, this is one room, bedroom and a bathroom.

I mean, you have an argument, and then just walk to the other side of the room, and stamp your feet or something. I mean, it's, ah, that would be, that'd be, no, I don't know if I could handle that. Or, I could be an adult, and actually have a relationship, which didn't, for someone I didn't want to argue with, I suppose.

I don't really, I'm not into arguing, but I am into being right. Which kind of doesn't eliminate arguments, does it, unfortunately? It almost encourages them. If you need to be right, if you choose being right over happiness, then you're in for a nice old ride.

Not the nice kind. So yeah, I don't know. I was thinking about that.

So what kind of person could I be with? And I realized that it has to be someone that I just really, really get on with. Of course, we all have our physical likes, you know, as far as what we're attracted to. That doesn't go away with age.

Anyone that says that is just lying. They just, often they just, just make and do, you know, sort of. But it's not as important to me as it used to be.

Not even then, I suppose. I mean, I dated someone when I was 25, and she was nothing like who I would normally go for. But I fell in love with her.

And I've dated women of all types, shapes, sizes, colors. I don't like the word colors, but yeah, different but different parts of the world. My first real proper relationship was for a girl from Trinidad.

And she was completely different to me. Very culturally, the way she spoke, the way she lived, the food she ate, it's very different. And she was so laid back.

That's what I like most about her. Because although now, when you listen to me, you might think, oh, man, you're so chilled out, you're so calm and relaxed. Didn't used to be, did not used to be.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not for the first. In fact, I would say the only time I learned, I started learning to relax in the late 90s.

And then I stopped again. And I was doing the sales. And I was a bit hyper when I was doing that.

I started learning to relax, probably 2003. Started learning to meditate, started to become a bit more aware of my body and not be outside my body or not to always be inside my head, you know. And just, it took a while, took some while, it really did.

And I still am always there. I mean, I lose it completely sometimes. But I'm so much more able to be relaxed than I ever used to be.

And I need to be in order to teach this, not teach it, but to be able to, I guess I do teach relaxation in my relaxation sessions. But I didn't start doing that until 2006. And by then, I had been meditating for, you know, what, three, four years, three years.

And I was living in a Buddhist community at the time. I was deeply involved in Buddhism and meditation. I was around a lot of really calm people.

And so that helped. I think if it, maybe if that scenario had not been there, you know, if I hadn't been in that sort of environment, I possibly wouldn't have started doing this at that time. I think I was headed towards this, almost this, and I know that this isn't a hypnosis session, but doing recordings, it seems like I was headed towards it, like it was my destiny, even though I'm not really into all that stuff, but it seemed like that.

Not really into destiny, but I do believe this is what I was born to do. Not into destiny, no, no, but you believe this is what you're born to do. This is what you were put on this planet for, but you don't believe in destiny.

Yeah, exactly. Oh, okay. I don't know why really, because for some reason I've got more into it.

I went through a period, if I do things, if I can't do it very often, I lose a little bit of interest. And then I'll get the interest back and I'll do a few recordings. When I was working, I'd do, I don't know, 100 recordings a year, maybe a couple, a hundred.

So I didn't do that many over a whole year span, and I'd go through periods where I'd make one every day, sometimes two, and then nothing for a few weeks. But during the last five years living here, having the space, the time, and I'm not always well enough to make recordings. And when I'm not, admittedly, I do push through sometimes and I still do them.

And I'll make a session and I'll go to sleep for a few hours, but I do sort of push myself sometimes, but I don't need to that often. And occasionally I'll have a few stacked away for the rainy days so that I can just release them if I'm not sort of in the mood, but I don't have any at the moment. I need to get a few.

I need to have a good like 10, 20, 30 recordings just in the bank. So that's not that bank, a different bank. And, and yeah, that'd be handy.

The thing is I struggle with that because, for example, it's half 10 now. If I was to make three deep sleep whisper recordings between now and 12, I'd want to, I'd want to release all of them, even though they'd be for the next three days, one a day. And I'd still want to release all of them.

It's just, I just want to release what I do as soon as I record it. It's just, I don't know why, but I guess I'm thinking, well, hopefully if this is going to help, it might be useful. So I should stick, I should release it now because some of my relaxation sessions, I think are pretty good.

They might be rubbish, but I think they're pretty good. And who knows, but people listen, well, people are listening to them. So I don't know what that means at all.

I'm hoping it means that they liked, but, and I might be having like 4,000, 4,000 people a day just coming to my podcasts, listening for the first few minutes or first few seconds. I'm thinking, what on earth was that? And then going away, so who knows? I might not actually have any like regular listeners. I might be wasting my time.

Oh gosh, I hope not. Anyway, if I'm going to end this recording, but if you, if you're still listening, please send me a message on Facebook or through my website and I'll read it out on my next recording. So thank you everyone.

And remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy. Lots of love. Bye.