#421 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (6th June 2020)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, b care assistant.

I kind of gave up a little bit on the NHS as far as working for them. Because I got turned down twice. Once for volunteering and once for actually working for them.

This was in the last couple of months and there was another job that they were advertising for care workers of some kind and I looked at the small print and they were looking for people under 40. I know officially they're not supposed to be able to do that but I think when it comes to the NHS they can kind of do what they want. They have a... it's... of course they can't do it for race or sex but they can do it for sex actually because some jobs are not available to men.

I found that out when I became a counsellor. I applied to... this is getting serious very quickly. I applied.

This is a genuine thing. I actually applied to volunteer as a counsellor once I was trained up. I was trained up at this point.

This was 2009. I applied to a charity that helped abused people who had been abused and they said no you're a man. I didn't quite say it like that but that was their attitude.

I said well yeah I know. You know why would you tell me something I'm kind of aware of that. I have dark hair or at least I used to.

You know I've got a bit of a lisp. Of course I didn't know I had a lisp back then because I've had it pointed out to me. I yawn a lot.

I didn't know that either did I? I yawn a lot. I'm very boring. I didn't know that either back then.

So I couldn't quite grasp it. Couldn't quite... I kind of... I needed it to be explained to me. One of my counselling tutors who also became a friend and a colleague, she explained is basically they're only offering the service to females, not offering it to males at all.

So I mean that's assuming that I guess that's only they've only been hurt by men. So they didn't think that a man would be suitable. So I can I can relate to that on a level, on a certain level.

I'm not a woman so I'm never gonna know what it's like to be a woman. And I said well why don't you give people the chance? Give them the option because you know what if someone's gone through an experience with a man perhaps it'd be useful. Maybe not but perhaps it might be helpful for that person to spend time with a man that isn't like that and get to sort of realize that actually... because to break that, that limitation that may cause huge problems for them in you know future life, relationship wise.

But you know to have a basic to have a man that they could trust. And I wasn't even talking particularly about me, just any male counsellor. It was just... I just thought it was a bit... I understand that a lot.

Perhaps most wouldn't want one. Maybe all wouldn't want one. But at least give the option.

Give it. Let people decide for themselves perhaps. I'm saying perhaps because I'm not sure.

I don't really care anymore. But I did back then. I don't know that I don't care about the subject.

I just didn't... I don't care about that charity. It doesn't matter you know. It's the past.

But it's one of those weird things. It's you know it's on some level I couldn't understand because I had a friend who counseled people with eating disorders. Because I've never had one of those.

I've never thankfully. I can't... you know there's the theory that we don't know anything about it. So how could you counsel someone? Well if that's the case, how could a counsellor, unless you specialize in a specific thing like drug counseling or you know eating disorders or something like that.

Most counsellors don't. Most counsellors are general counsellors. And you go to them for whatever is ailing you.

You know for whatever issue. Most of it is depression. That's the main thing people come for.

Depression, stress, anxiety, relationship issues is the the majority. And what issue you know other stuff that's happened in the past. So I I know that I got to see just as many people that had gone through abuse in the past as the people that were specializing in it.

Because it was a huge amount of people that had come from that you know background. Including me myself. So I did... you can only understand things on a certain level because it doesn't matter.

I mean like saying I understand what it's like to be for that person that's been in a car crash. Because I've been in a car crash. No you don't understand what it's like for them.

Because they're different. They experienced the world differently to you. You can relate to it on a logical level.

But you're not ever gonna know what it feels like for them. Not really. And even they may not understand what it feels like.

So I think I mean why am I talking about this? Jason can't you make some funny noises and just say some silly things? Why are you talking about counselling and serious things? I don't know why I am. I'm not really sure. I don't know how I got on the subject.

Right. I'll move on now. No I'm not.

No I might. I might. I don't know that's why I was just in a contemplative compla... another word I can't say.

Contemplative mood. That's right isn't it? Contemplative. Contemplative.

I'm contemplating. I'm in a contemplate... There are certain words I can't say. I've just ordered some stuff on Amazon.

So I have to just keep ordering stuff. Because this stupid bastard thing's not going away is it? It's just that now I'm not gonna talk about it. People have said they like the fact that I don't go on about the actual lurgy, the thing that's going on around the world.

So I don't. But I'll talk about some of my experiences that are you know connected to it. But I've ordered some stuff because it's gonna be harder to get out now than it was before.

Now that everyone, often the 15th of June in UK or in England, I'm not sure if it's a whole of the UK, have to wear masks, face masks, on public transport and on going to the hospital. So for me to get to the shops I'd need to wear a face mask. And it's only a matter of time before supermarkets will say the same thing.

It's that everyone just follows each other's tails when it comes to this stuff. And I'll wear a mask. I've got some surgical masks and I wear them when I go into the garage or if I go into a public place, the garage or the shop.

The only two places I ever go and they're local. The shop's about 25 minute walk, garage is about 10 minute walk. And just being in there for five, six minutes is enough wearing that mask.

My glasses get steamed up. You know it's very uncomfortable especially with the heat. Now it's hot.

I think in the winter it wouldn't be so bad. But then my glasses get steamed up anyway when I go inside a warm room after being outside. But I quite, I quite enjoy that.

I don't know why, it just entertains me. It's the little things in life. I've been telling that to women for years and no one ever agrees with me but you know.

Stop talking like that. I'm trying to do everything I can to avoid going out. I still go out every day with Andre.

He forces me to go out. He's very insistent and in some ways he's my saviour. You know I mean in more than one ways.

He gets me out of bed. I really felt lazy yesterday. I spent most of the day in bed.

I didn't feel unwell. I just didn't have any energy you know. And I was in bed pretty much all day.

Got up, had some bit of food and went back to bed. And I even went back to bed this evening and Andre was climbing all over me trying to wake me up because it was time for his dinner. In fact it was late because it was about nine o'clock.

Normally he eats at seven. So he'd already tried to wake me up once and then he came back again and he was quite insistent. He was sticking his tongue in my mouth.

I mean come on. It was biting my hand. Not hard but just nibbling and scratching at me.

You know but not again not like hard but just trying to wake me up. So in the end I got up, got his breakfast. I got his dinner, his din-dins.

And I had a big clear up and got all the recycling outside and put it into bags and everything. Got that outside. Changed all his paper and also had some food.

So I cooked one of my meals in the freezer. Had some food and I was tired. Just still felt tired.

But I wasn't hungry anymore. So it's a little bit of a different tiredness you know. Took my medication and I was just fairly calm sitting down.

And Andre was scratching at the door constantly. I don't like it when he does it. I don't really like when he does it anytime.

But when he does it at night it's a little bit annoying because if he's doing it at maybe, this was at about 10, 11 o'clock. But I know that if I don't take him out he's gonna be doing it at 2, 3 o'clock, 4 o'clock. I hadn't took him out yet.

So what I did I thought okay let's go. Let's go for a walk. And he was up really.

Because every time I moved he jumped up. So I took him out. He was happy.

He couldn't even wait. I was holding him and he was trying to get out of my arms so he could get onto the ground before I'd even left the building. Now normally I have to hold him while I lock the front door.

And then I carry him downstairs. Otherwise he will do a wee. He likes to mark his territory.

If he had the chance and I don't let him do it. I used to. Well I didn't used to but I found out by what he used to do.

He'd go up to every door, rub himself all over it and let a little bit of wee out on every doormat. Now there's no doormats. And he'd just do it on the floor just outside the door.

I mean a couple of times in the past I had to go out and kind of mop up. Clean up after him. But he gets excited because he just loves being out.

With all the smells I suppose. And if he had an opportunity. Put it this way.

I reckon if there was a little ferret flap and in all the front doors in this building. As long as the front door was and the back door of the building was closed. He couldn't get out.

He would be in and out of every flap. He would. He wouldn't stay in there.

He'd be off. I like to think that he'd come back here because this is his home. I don't even know if that's true.

I imagine if I had a neighbor downstairs and they were given, let him have whipped cream. Which is his favorite thing in the whole wide world. He'd stay down there.

And I don't know why. But he loves a bosom to cuddle up to. He does.

Anytime I've had a lady here. It's like a little baby. It's almost like breastfeed me.

Like Andre. Stop it. They're mine.

No I don't say that. But he does it. He does it with me.

But he really. I don't know what it is. He tries to get in between them.

Seriously. Like tries to get down the bra and everything. I don't know what his deal is.

So if I had a female living in this building and he could get into that flat. I'd probably lose him. To a pair of boobies.

Can you believe it? It's not fair. He'd choose a pair of boobies over me. Over me.

He's daddy. I mean I'll happily wear a bra for him if that's what he wants. In fact I did wear a bra for him and he did.

He was a bit disappointed. He said to himself that it was too hairy. Okay fair enough.

I have worn a bra. Now this isn't. I'm not doing this for luck here.

This isn't a confession. Because I really do not care what anyone thinks when it comes to that. Because I didn't do it for any kind of weird thrills.

I've just done it in the past for a laugh. Because I like to have fun you know. Mess about.

And it's very difficult to put on. See what I didn't realize. Because I'd always lived.

I've not really had a lot of experience with women when I was younger. And when I saw movies and everything. I always thought that women put their bras on from behind.

Not from behind. I don't mean they'd turn inside out. I don't know.

What does that even mean? They were double jointed or something. Standing on their head. They'd do it.

The strap at the back. And there was always something quite sensual about that. And I thought that's nice.

So that's what I thought I'd try and do. Try and put the bra on. My girlfriend was there with me by the way.

And it wasn't a thing. It was just just trying to make her laugh. And it's the only thing you get with me as a boyfriend.

Is you get to laugh at me. Not with me. But you laugh at me.

Which is good. It's the only thing I can offer. Is some physical comedy.

Basically just whenever I'm naked. It's just really funny for anyone around that sees it. Not everyone obviously.

I mean there's been a few complaints to the police. It depends where it is. Some supermarkets don't like it.

Anyway I realized as I got older that a lot of people that wear bras. They do the strap up at the front and then turn it around. That's not romantic.

And that's how I pointed out. It's not supposed to be romantic. I'm getting dressed.

What do you want? Do you want a little dance? You gonna play some music? No I'm getting dressed. This putting a bra on is no more romantic than wiping with bum after going to the toilet. And I said oi.

There's nothing unromantic. I said stop it. Women don't go to the toilet.

There was a time when I really believed just. I didn't believe that women did poos. When I was younger.

When I was. You know I'm an adult now. I'm talking about when I was in my 30s.

I really didn't believe that. For some reason. Because I never ever saw a woman do a poo.

I don't mean see physically. But they never. It dawned on me afterwards is that women don't announce it.

Men seem to announce it. I'm going to do a dump. Or they might not announce it.

But when they come out saying I wouldn't go in there for a few days. Or you know we're going to have to get the have to get the bathroom refurbished. Or something like that.

Just you know like to let it be known. Or remind me I've got to get myself some new underpants. You know something.

I suppose that's more a romantic way to say it I guess. But yeah I never really got the hang of romance. I think my most romantic thing I ever did was I was watching a Rocky film.

I think it was the first Rocky film. And I got inspired. I got inspired like most people.

When I say most people I've got no idea if that's true. But I've no doubt that a lot of people that watch Rocky do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do Anyway, they perhaps get motivated, you know, to, it's a very motivational film, it's a very motivational song, you know, it's just, it's got that kind of connection. And some people get motivated to perhaps take up boxing or to prance around the room shadowboxing.

I'm the king of the world. And I took a little thing, different kind of stance from it. Because I think my only connection to Rocky wasn't being tough and big and strong, because I wasn't any of those.

But what I was is a little bit clumsy with women, and he was. And a bit inarticulate with women, which he was. You know, he didn't really, he just, he was honest, like an honest person, he didn't, you know.

And I was also quite romantic, like he was. I'm not saying, I never dated him, I don't know how romantic he was in real life. He never replied to my letters.

But I saw his film, and I walked up to the end of the road, and I knocked on a girl's door that I knew. I was at school at this point. I wasn't at school at that point, I didn't have a school in the road.

But I went to school with her. She was probably one or two years younger than me. And I'd known her for years, you know, known her for a long time, probably since junior school, probably.

And she'd lived in the same road as me. So I've known her for a long time. I think I knew her sister.

I wanted to know her sister, but she was a lot older, but she was like, I did a Chevy Chase joke on her as well. Her sister, this is a few years later, her sister, I knocked on her door for my friend. And I still stay friends with her for years, years and years.

And her sister answered the door, and she just had a towel around her. She just, well, I think she might have said, come in. So I came in, and she stood at the top of the stairs.

That's right. We went halfway down the stairs. I was probably about 15, 16, something like that.

And she had this towel on, that was it. All she had was this towel covering herself, because she'd been in the bath or the shower. And I did it, I did a Chevy Chase joke.

And she said, well, what is it you want? I said, I can do you a favor. She said, what? I said, can I borrow your towel? And it's just, it's a Chevy Chase. He did it in fletch, I think.

And it was brilliant. I thought, wow, how wonderful. Because I used to love Chevy Chase.

It's just so wacky in some of his earlier films. And it was a perfect scenario. He was this beautiful woman who was, well, she wasn't that much older than me, probably about a year or two older than me.

Chronologically, physically and mentally, probably a lot older than me, because I was still a little kid. Some would say I still am in some ways, but she was lovely. Anyway, I'd never seen a female in a towel just come out of the bath before.

Never seen it. It was the first time in my entire life. I'd never seen a female, not a female, but a female in that kind of position.

And because I've never had a proper girlfriend, I've never been really particularly intimate with anybody. I was 19 before I lost my Virgo. And I lost my star sign in 1990.

Yeah, I was 19. Wow. And I was a little bit hypnotized by her.

I was hypnotized by her. And at first, because, you know, in my mind, I was saying to her, can I borrow your towel? But apparently, in reality, I was going, and she said, no, you can't borrow my towel. I think eventually I did say, she said, well, I said, my mouth was dry.

It's quite weird because my mouth was dry. It's like all the saliva from my mouth left and started squirting out of my forehead. It was kind of weird.

It's like sweating. Can I borrow your towel? Now, okay, the best scenario didn't happen. But, you know, realistically, it was never going to happen.

But the second best scenario did happen. And that is, she laughed. And that's always been the second best.

You know, I made her laugh, even though it wasn't really my joke, but it was a great scenario to use it. And I thought, I made a lovely woman laugh. And, you know, I wasn't particularly good with women that I found attractive.

Women I didn't find attractive, I could just make them laugh all day long. But women that I was like, ooh, I was like, ooh, I'd turn into some kind of weird, almost stalkery person just staring. And that's not really me.

Although I have met people, met women in the past, ladies, females, and I've admired them from a distance. It's all a piece of art, like looking at a picture and thinking, wow, you know, sometimes really just wow. And I could see if I was inclined, I could be that way with men as well.

I'm not inclined that way, but, you know, just to see someone or actually, I'm not going to change my sexuality suddenly, but I am quite changeable. If I see someone, like I saw an advert on YouTube, and it's one of these 30 second adverts, normally I'd just click through them after four seconds. And it was this man doing chin-ups and doing his exercises and just had a body on him.

It's like the perfect body. It's like absolutely perfect. And I was just hypnotized by his body.

Because, well, I wouldn't give anything to have a body like that because I put very little effort into my body. But I was never able, even when I trained, I was never able to get anything like that. I was like, wow, that was always one of my dreams.

Because the thing is, I think what people forget about bodybuilders and people that are really fit is they like looking at themselves. They get more pleasure looking at themselves than anybody else will ever get looking at them. And they probably get more pleasure looking at themselves than they will looking at anybody else.

Because they work so hard. And to be able to look in the mirror at that transformation, it's like it's a pool. It's very shallow, I guess.

But is it shallow if you put in loads and loads of work to something? It's like me getting quite compulsive and quite, you know, with the stats for the podcasts that I do for the recordings. Why shouldn't I? I put in years and years and years of work, put a lot of energy, a lot of time into this. Why shouldn't I feel good about it? You know, really, in a sense.

And I try and tell myself that. But even thinking back to when I used to, I've gone through a few periods where I lost, where I started building myself up, physically doing weights. And I'd get out of the bath and every day, it seemed like I was becoming more muscular.

And I did start to think that I was maybe having some kind of body dysmorphia, is it? You know, thinking that I was muscly when I wasn't. I was starting to think, oh, this is a long time ago. This is back, the first time really.

Well, it's not the first time I did weight since I was 13. But the first, the real time that I remember I did this quite big transformation was about 1998, maybe 99. And I decided to do one extra press up, one extra sit up every single day, just keep adding it.

And I think I started on 10. Then the next day, with 10 is easy, I could do 50 press ups now. And so, you know, yeah, of course you can.

I actually can. I can do quite a few sit ups as well. I do have muscles, I just... And also, think about it, if I go to do a sit up, my body knows that, yeah, okay, it will let me do 50 sit ups, because it knows it's not going to have to do any more for another 10 years.

So it's like, okay, let's let him do it. So I think that's why I can. So I've got to reserve energy for the, you know, every decade to do a few sit ups.

Anyway, every day, I did an extra one. And I did it for 100 days. I think I actually, I think I started with one, one sit up and one press up, because it amused me.

Just, you know, the idea that I've just done one, then the next day I'd do two, and the next day I'd do three, and so on. And I'd do 10. And I started to feel it a little bit once I was doing 10.

And just, you know, gradually, then when I got to about 20, I could feel a bit more. But something weird happened. The first thing is I didn't get that pain of having started doing exercise.

You know, if you go to the gym, you haven't been to the gym for quite a while, you might end up aching because you've basically ripped the muscles and they need to sort of heal back, which is what happens to muscles when you use weights. But I was, I kind of didn't have to go through that period. But I did notice the muscles in my back, my chest and my stomach, and my arms started to flex a little bit, you know.

And as I said, I was 28 at the time. So it wasn't, you know, I was still young, probably kind of, I guess, in my prime. And then I got to probably 40 or 50 a day.

And I think, I might be wrong, but I think I did it twice a day, one in the morning, once in the evening. So once when I got up, and then one before I went to bed. And I also did, yeah, I did that.

I had a sit-up board, which I've got now as well. And the press-ups I just did on the floor. And then as it got up to sort of 70, 80, 90, because I had a big chart on the wall and I was crossing them off, you know.

So I did it for, what's over three months, isn't it? So 90s, three months. My body transformed, you know, when I say transformed, I didn't grow wings, I didn't turn into a caterpillar or mushroom. My body, I did not become massive, but everything became slimmer.

Although even back then I was already slim. But it was, I had probably the only time in my life, apart from when I was a teenager, I had a six pack. But it wasn't, yeah, I suppose.

But for that point, yeah, I did it again in 2004, I did exactly the same thing. But this time I was always doing, I was doing Wing Chun as well. I lost a lot of weight, got really slim and muscular and stuff.

But no one noticed back then. But in 2009, here's what I did. I bought some clothes because I was a DJ.

And before that, I was wearing quite baggy clothes and stuff. And I was always a bit embarrassed about how skinny I was. But I think I must have put weight on.

I was eating shakes and, you know, stuff like that, protein shakes and things, which I started doing years ago. Every now and then, I get a little bit strong. And what's really weird is for the first time in my life, and the only time in my life, I felt physically confident.

Bodily confident, would that be a term? I was, I went to the shop, and I got some quite fashionable clothes, which I didn't normally do. I used to just wear jeans and or trousers and a shirt, quite baggy shirt or baggy top. I still was, you know, smart.

Well, I ended up getting these tight trousers and some tight shirts. And they were really quite short as well. So it showed off my biceps and my triceps, my arms, and my shoulders and everything.

It didn't show, but you could see my shoulders bulging out through the material. Not bulging, but it was quite tight. I can't believe the amount of attention I got, not just from like some of the customers.

I mean, I was getting okay attention. I was doing, I was quite, I think I was quite popular with myself anyway back then. Man, I couldn't believe it.

Even some of the staff were like coming over and sort of feeling me, because they didn't know, because I'd covered myself up all the time. And then suddenly I walk in with just this skimpy shirt on, which is more like a t-shirt really. I was like, where, and these tight trousers showing off my bum.

Not that it didn't show off my bum, but they were, you know, tight. So they weren't baggy. I was like, where did he come from? And here's the funny thing.

Well, not that funny, but I used to, you know, it was really good times and I felt really good. I stopped doing the press-ups and the sit-ups, and then I stopped smoking. And it wasn't long before I had to stop wearing that shirt.

And I had to go and buy even bigger tops, because I put on two stone within about a month. It was, yeah, it just showed that you can do it, or I could do it, just by focusing, by spending three months, just doing some basic exercises. I don't think I even went jogging.

I might have gone jogging a little bit because I used to always be, I went through periods of jogging and stuff. More so, well, when I was a kid, but also when I was in my thirties, because I used to live opposite a park, so I used to run around the park. Not for some while though.

I can't even imagine what it would be like to go jogging. Yeah. But this part of me would like to, I did redo the experiment twice after that as well.

I did it in 2004. And again, I did lose weight, but I also was eating, I was a vegetarian. So I was, you know, all the food I had was basically going straight through me.

So it wasn't very, I wasn't eating great. You know, it was more processed meals rather than preparing the food myself. And because I was living in a room and shared kitchen, it just doesn't really work.

It didn't, you know, it didn't work really. And I lost quite a bit of weight training and very slim became really, you know, nice slim waist. And then when I did boxing in 2009, I kind of had a similar thing, but this time I did lose weight, but I got bigger because I had a punch bag in the garden and I was doing weights every day.

I was taking these protein shakes and these amino acids things as well. I didn't change my eating habits at all. And I was still drinking alcohol.

But what I did is I trained. I trained a lot every single day. And I did the starting off at one push up, two push ups.

And then I was doing that and the sit ups as well. Never got down to the slim, the level of slimness that I was back in 2004 or 1999. Not, well, I was always slim back then, but didn't get back to that kind of slim.

But my body definitely was shaped in a different way. I put on quite a bit of muscle upper body and I was slimmer in my waist, but still not slim, slim. That makes sense.

Even the boxing trainers said, Oh, have you lost some weight? I said, I hope so. Because I'd go in there and I'd have a t-shirt on and I purposely, because a lot of kids there, there was adults as well, but there was a lot of kids at the boxing club, which wasn't great. And probably for them or me really, because I would have preferred it to be just adults, but then it would have been maybe six, six of us instead of 30 or however many there was.

And the kids' parents would be watching as well. So they will be there. So I felt a little bit self-conscious because I was the only fat one running around and my belly would be wobbling and stuff.

But I'd wear the biggest, baggiest t-shirt I could. But within about 20 minutes, it was stuck to me through sweat. It would be drenched and you could see everything.

I mean, I think one of the, one of the ladies, I think one of the parents said to, she said, don't mean to be rude, but if you consider wearing a sports bra, like, don't mean to be rude. That is quite rude. Yes, I have.

Where did I get one from? Luckily, she had one in her purse, so she gave me. No, that never happened. And I liked that.

The only thing is with the boxing, they gave me no attention really, because I wasn't a kid and I could never box for the club because I was too old. I was, what, 38, 39, 38 at the time. So I could never box just as an amateur.

So they didn't bother. They just let me just do my own thing, which is a bit annoying really, because I was paying way more than the kids were paying. You know, I ended up paying like 40, 50 quid a month to be able to go there.

And it's not that I wanted to come over and cuddle me every now and then and just, you know, make sure it's okay. But I did sometimes cry. I stubbed my toe or hurt my finger or something, you know, tripped over.

But yeah, the thing is, I would have loved, I think that would be one of my ideal jobs, I think, is to work in a boxing gym so that I could train, learn to be a boxing trainer, and then use my hypnosis and use motivational tools, psychological tools to help the person, whether it's somebody who wants to be a professional boxer or, you know, amateur, or maybe just to help someone with anger issues or, you know, so maybe if they're young people, to help them to deal with what's going on in life.

So maybe be a counselor, but in the context of being a boxing coach. But because I've never boxed, you know, I've done training, but I've never actually been sort of in a boxing match.

I don't know if I'd even be eligible to become a trainer, I don't know, maybe. Because you should be able to do what you teach, and I wouldn't be able to do what I teach, would I? I'd be saying, okay, now throw the right hook. How do you do that? I'm not sure.

Ask someone else. Right now, everyone's skip. Sir, can you teach me how to skip? No, I can't.

Look at me. You think I skip? I didn't get a belly like this through skipping. Ask someone else.

Maybe it wouldn't be the right thing for me to do. But I like the idea of working with professional boxers. And I just think it'd be fun.

It kind of, it would give me a mixture of different things I enjoy doing. And being in the boxing world, I think would be a lot of fun, because I'm such a big fan. Imagine if I could be in the corner, be like a little inspiration, whisper in the ear of the boxer, so I don't remember.

Five, four, three, two, one. It'd be like hypnotizing them with a little swinging watch. I want to get one of those swinging watches.

I do. I do have a little need to look eccentric. Because I think, I don't know if I am eccentric, but I might.

It's usually just another word for weird, isn't it? I've definitely been called weird enough times. But I like the idea of maybe dressing smartly and having a little watch that, with a chain that goes into like a top pocket or maybe an inside pocket to my jacket. And someone says, have you got the tong? You've got the tong, please, mate.

I said, yeah, let me have a look. Oh, yes, let me just open my swinging watch. This is a quarter past three.

And then if they say, hand over the watch. I want it. Give it to me.

I'll get a hold out and say, you don't want the watch. Look at the watch. You don't want it.

It's mine. You don't want it. Your five, four, three, two, one, you're relaxed.

Your toenails are relaxed. Your ear lobes are relaxed. Your butt cheeks are relaxed.

Your belly button is relaxed. Apparently, and I don't know how true this is. I found these.

In fact, let me look it up. Let me look it up. Because it's a story I saw in the newspapers years ago.

And occasionally I see a similar story. And I'm going to Google. Robbers try to.

So there's actually a video, right? There's a video. Hypnotist thief robs shopkeeper often after appearing to put him in a trance. There's another one, hypnosis, stolen robbery.

And, wow. See, I want to look at the news because I'm pretty sure. Wow.

Okay, right. Here we go. This is actually a proper news story.

Okay, you ready? Hypnotist robber gang arrested in Karachi. This is September, 2019. Karachi police on Wednesday claimed to have arrested a gang of robbers feared for their unique style of robbing shopkeepers in the city, blah, blah, blah.

According to details, police have arrested a six-year-old man and his son for throwing a three-member gang robbing shopkeepers using hypnotism. Wow. In one of the videos seen, the gang leader can be seen emptying a shopkeeper's money locker before his eyes using hypnotism.

The man also demonstrated how he used to take money for counting purposes from shopkeepers and used to return them without them knowing he stole from the bundle. Wow. That's interesting, isn't it? Oh, here's another one.

This is from Auckland. Scammers use hypnosis to rob victims. Hypnotising the vulnerable and robbing them of their money and valuables is a new scam that has recently been reported in the area.

This is 2017 in Times Online, New Zealand. Fraudsters are quick to exploit the power of hypnosis by first making contact with lone victims, usually in deserted areas, and winning over their trust. A resident of Half Moon Bay was recently victim of a hypnosis scam.

On a daily walk, the Asian senior was approached by an Asian couple who appeared quite friendly and spoke to her in Mandarin. Unaware that she was being hypnotised, the woman was told to hand over all her possessions. Mesmerised, the lady took the offenders home and handed over all her cash and valuables to them.

By the time the trance state wore off, the thieves were long gone. Area Commander Counties, Manukau East, confirmed the reported incident. It doesn't say how, mind you, I suppose it's not going to.

They're not going to say and then they said this to them and then they said that to them. Ah, you see this, there is stuff from the past. Oh, this is from the UK.

This is from the UK. Oh, it's the Times. They won't let me see without logging in and paying.

God, I hate them. That's a telegraph. The mail will probably have it, they won't want.

Look into my eyes, incredible moment thief appears to hypnotise shopkeeper before rifling through his pockets while he was in a trance. 2014. Is this in the UK? Yeah, it was in Highgate, North London.

The man walked in and claimed his wife was pregnant and needed water. It can be seen touching shopkeeper Aftab Hida on the stomach to demonstrate his wife's baby bump before the man falls into what appears to be a trance-like state. Mr. Hida, 56, who runs Hops and Pops off-licence.

I think it ruins it sometimes, you know, when there's a serious news story and then they name, like the name of the off-licence, Hops and Pops, only comes to after the thief was rummaging through his pockets and made off with the contents. The 45-second heist is believed to be the first time the crime, which has been reported in Nigeria, India and Italy, has been filmed in Britain. Mr. Hida said, I'm so upset about what happened.

It's hard to talk about, but I want to help stop this happening to other shopkeepers. It was late and I was tired. I'm not sure, but it was like I was hypnotised.

Wow. While he was touching me, he took all the money from my right side, which had my float money and all the money from my left. He was touching my stomach, saying, my wife is pregnant.

It's an old trick of the professionals. Okay. I was thinking, what should I give to him? Maybe he wanted water, tonic water.

I really feel shocked by it. I thought, why is he touching me? But by that time, it was too late. I've got some film, some video footage of the man.

How interesting. This is, there's a lot of this going on, apparently. This is in the, yeah.

See, I remember going back, I think it was probably the 90s. Someone was held up at gunpoint, being mugged. I think it was in New York or somewhere.

And the person was a hypnotist. So he pulled out his watch, because I think the mugger said, I'll have that watch, I'll have your jewellery. So he got his watch and he started to hypnotise him.

And he got shot. Hunt for hypnotic robber. Hypnotist.

Oh, wait a minute. Woman 38 struggled to conceive for 10 years, but fell pregnant after one session of hypnotherapy. There is a theory that trance is a lot easier for certain people from other countries.

Due to, you know, superstition and belief in the occult, even though hypnosis isn't the occult, but a lot of maybe sort of maybe being more open minded and more ready for it. Just like children as well. Because their imagination is so active.

I believe everybody is got an active imagination. We just don't sort of realise it. Especially people that are, you know, maybe got problems and stuff, because that imagination really is creative.

For everybody. It just might not be what you want it to be at the time. I mean, you know, so if I'm sitting thinking, I want to I want to think of some, you know, sort of some recordings I can do for the Deep Sleep Whisper.

You know, what can I do there? And I'm sort of trying to sort of think of some ideas, then I might start thinking of something completely different. Which proves that my imagination is working. It's just, I'm perhaps not focusing as well as I could be.

It doesn't mean the imagination is not working, because our imaginations always work. Great imaginations. Which are amazing.

I don't have any messages to read out. So, damn it, I've got no one to upset. No, no messages.

So my message just is, hope everyone's okay. Hope you're doing well. Hope you're keeping safe.

And yet again, I've managed to talk for over an hour about nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. And I don't even know if I'm going to make any more recordings today.

I'm still feeling fairly lazy. Although I've been working on some website stuff that I'll tell you about another time. But it's still okay.

I had over 5000 downloads yesterday, just under 5000 the day before. So it's, you know, maybe today I'll have a few less. It's a Saturday now.

So Saturday and Sunday sometimes is a little bit quieter anyway. But, you know, as long as I get over 3000, I really don't get under 4000 anymore, really, hardly at all. It's quite weird that I'm now, when I started getting like nearly 6000 and over 6000, I started, you know, on a daily basis, I started to get used to that.

I think maybe it's become normal. As the news likes to say, the new normal. I do.

I love copying each other just saying the same things. This is unprecedented times. This is the new normal.

Politicians used to say, what was it? It's not fit for purpose. One person said it. I don't know who it was who said it first.

I'm sure it wasn't, I'm sure it wasn't their line, but it just became the go to sentence that politicians, scientists, TV people, not fit for purpose. It's like the same sentence. Everything happens for a reason.

I mean, I don't hear that as much now, but it was a very popular saying for quite a while. Everything happens for a reason. It was almost a meaningless sentence.

But people just kept saying it. Everything happens for a reason. Basically, I don't know why this happened.

I just hope it's, you know, I have no idea what's going on here. Everything happens for a reason. Now I can just forget about it.

So maybe it's a good thing, you know. But then have we learned from it? That's the one thing I think the human race don't like to learn. Not from the learning from my mistakes.

Well, I'm a human. How dare you expect me to do that? I like to repeat my mistakes over and over again and blame everyone else. Yeah.

So Andre is being very quiet, which is nice. He's not sneezing. He's not scratching at the door.

He's been out. Nice long walk. He got to do what he wanted to do.

Go where he wanted to go. And I think he's happy. He's got his food.

He's eating. He's got a little bit of food left, plus his dry food, fresh water, fresh paper. Does whatever he wants to do, whenever he wants to do it.

I think he's quite relaxed now. I don't even know where he is. I think he might even be in my bed.

Might be asleep in my bed. I don't know. I did the other night when I gave him a bath.

Soak him wet. He disappeared. Couldn't find him.

I found him inside my bed, drying himself off in my bed. Lovely. Cheers, mate.

He's just a naughty boy. He just knows how to wind me up. It's quite funny because I was... What? Did you hear that weird noise? I just... When he was trying to wake me up earlier, he was climbing over my face.

So he climbed on my pillows above me and was climbing. He was trying everything he could to get me to wake up. I just find it cute.

I don't know. Just... He almost acts like he doesn't care at all about me. He's like I'm just his little servant.

But he's... Other times he's just like a little baby, like a little little boy, a proper little kid that needs his daddy. So I notice him more when I have visitors, especially if someone's at the door. So if I go to the door, he goes to the door as well.

I have to pick him up so he doesn't run off. He likes to go exploring and stuff. And where can I find a bra? Stop it, Andre.

And he... I hold him and he clings to me. Doesn't try and get down, nothing. And he's almost... Not a baby, but they're a bit older, but it's still quite like, oh, I'm sure about this person.

He's a little bit like that sometimes, especially if I don't know the person. He's just... And he clings to me, holds on. That's quite cute.

So I think somewhere he must like me a little bit. I don't know. Maybe he's just used to me.

Maybe, yeah, maybe I'm just... Maybe I'm just like the newspaper on the floor, just... I'm useful. Maybe. That's a nice thought.

Anyway, I'm going to go. So thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself.

Do something nice for yourself this weekend. It doesn't matter what it is. Doesn't have to cost money.

Just do something nice. Just be nice to yourself. Be gentle.

Be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy. So I will speak to you very, very soon. Lots of love.

Bye.