#404 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (20th May 2020)

Hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. Please only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes. And this is Let Me Bore You to Sleep.

Yeah. Now. Now, now, now, now, then.

Now, now, then. So I'm just going to start off with a little message, a little message, two messages. And I've removed my Facebook account and my Twitter account.

And I've removed contact forms or any way of reviewing or anything on my website. So there's no way of anybody contacted me. Sorry about that.

That's how it is. I've had a few real negative messages sent to me lately. And I've had enough of it.

So I don't want to put up with that. It's not what I'm here for. I'm not.

I'm not here for that. I'm here to help as many people as I can, a large audience, which is growing daily. I'm surprised at how much it's growing.

And as far as Facebook goes, anyone listens to me will now know that you can just go straight to the podcast that you normally listen on. We can go to my website. I upload all my new recordings onto my website, as well as all the podcasts.

So I'm just not available on Facebook or Twitter. Still got my YouTube channel. And I'm looking to make some like fairly decent videos over the next few weeks on there as well.

But I'm going to ignore any messages I face on Twitter, on YouTube as well. I might block any comments and stuff. And you may say, but JJ, why? JJ as in my name, and Jason, I call myself JJ have been for many years.

And so really, that also I just want to say that in one of my previous videos, a little apology. I had a message from someone. And I think I said, Jen, I think it's a female might be a man might be genital, or genital or something like that.

I was just messing about, but the person took offence. So I do apologise for that. I didn't mean to cause offence there.

Genuinely, and I was just messing. I think it's, please, if you're listening, if you're listening to these recordings, that let me bore you to sleep, and you want to take me seriously, and you want to be all serious, then maybe you need to go elsewhere. Because these aren't really supposed to be particularly serious.

I know that I'm talking about serious stuff right now, but only for a short while. And then I'll start talking about Andre and whatever else. But yeah, I'm just I'm not here for that.

I do not offer that service, I'm afraid. And yet, with the stress podcast, relaxation, hypnosis for relaxation, hip, whatever it is, you know, the one for stress. That's a serious podcast, Deep Sleep Whisperer, generally quite serious.

Not serious as in, but I kind of stick to the point. And for the Deep Sleep Hypnosis Weekly, I kind of slip, I slip to the point, I stick to the point. With these, let me bore you to sleep.

And I thought I'd done enough by now for people to realise what these are about, kind of, or what the possibilities are, in a sense of the silliness. It's not about being serious. If anything's about moving away from seriousness of life, and the stuff that's going on in the world.

And, you know, the stuff that goes on in our brains and our minds, and we're trying to sleep. And yeah, so that's, that's sort of where I'm going. I've not yet decided I might stop doing these recordings, but I'm not sure.

I'll see how I feel. But I'm planning to continue. But it's, I can only take so much negativity from people until I just, you know, I don't need that.

I could, I'm quite capable, quite capable of creating my own negativity. I am an expert at that. I really am.

I'm sure you are as well. It's, you know, I'd be, it's inbuilt in me. I can be the most negative person ever.

But I don't want it. It makes me ill. It doesn't help me at all.

I want to try and focus on a positive future and all that rubbish, you know. So I'm not on any, there's no way of contacting, I'm afraid. Sorry about that.

So I'm not on Skype, not on Facebook, not on Twitter. I'm going to get rid of WhatsApp as well. But that's mainly just family on there.

But even so, I still don't want to, I don't want that stuff. I don't like WhatsApp. I call it what's crap.

Because I'm very clever. I'm like a genius with words, don't you know? What's crap? And so yeah, it's so that's, and I'm thinking of changing my telephone number as well. Because a few people have had, you know, the odd text and stuff, negative text.

The people that have done that in the past, I have deleted, I've now kind of blocked those people. So they can't send me those texts, you know. But I don't know, I think because it's online, and it's worldwide, and you don't know the state of the person that's listening.

They might be drunk, and they might just be having a bad day, and decide to sort of take it, let's take it out on the weird hypnotist who's got a ferret. It's, you know, it's, I think that's, that's how it might be. And none of it's really nasty, nasty, not like on YouTube.

None of it's been too personal. But I do find it interesting that someone on Facebook would post on one of my posts something rude about me, when they're a Facebook friend. It's like, wait a minute, why are you on my Facebook page then? If you, if you got an issue, you know what I mean.

So yeah, bye-bye everyone. But I'm still here. So if you're thinking of me as being still here, just not contactable.

Until there's some kind of new, until I can get myself a secretary to be, to, you know, come to be my go-between. I'm just gonna, and it feels sad because people out there that I really like, really, you know, Susan, Boston Chicky, Brooke, Rachel, it, the names are endless, but they're not, the names are just normal names. They're not endless names, but there's a lot of people.

And I do feel a bit sad about it, but I don't know what else to do really, to protect me from people being rude and and demanding as well. So I've had quite a few demanding people, sort of really like, I want you to do this, do this for me. I need you, you know, I'm supposed to do personal one-on-one sessions with people and I don't offer that service.

I don't, you know, it might sound rude, but if I wanted it to sound rude, I'd say, I don't offer that service. You know, I try to say it rudely, but I don't. And you know what, if I lose 50 people, 50 listeners, 100 listeners, it's not going to make any difference to the stats really.

It's just the way it is. It's a shame, but, you know, and I'm not aiming this at anybody personally at all. And the only thing I was, the aim was the apology to the person who was upset with me for saying that they might be a man.

I mean, come on, it's what's weird about it. This was a beautiful woman, yeah, who I knew was not a man. You know, it's not, I think that's where it comes, where it comes a bit weird, or not weird, but different, because I thought by being, doing these Let Me Boyd Asleep, people would get to know me for how I am.

But I think some people still haven't, because if you start taking me seriously, really, you know, if you don't realize that I'm going to be cheeky and playful, and I mess around, and I'll say stuff that maybe is out of order sometimes, but just as a joke. I'm never going to say stuff personally, like a personal attack on anybody. It's not really my thing.

And I'm also, I'm never going to fall in love with anybody either, probably. I don't offer that service. I don't.

Man, I don't know. It's, I might fall in love with someone one day. But you know, there's been a couple of people, and I really, really fancy there was someone called, a name begins with R. That's all I'm going to say.

And if you think it's you, it's not. It's someone else. I remember she added me on Facebook, and she's like blonde, and from Scotland.

And I was like, oh, wow. Wow. Which isn't very professional, is it? It's not very, you know, it's just like dribbling.

I wasn't dribbling. I wasn't really. And that's not why my lap was wet.

See, again, I'm saying silly things. It's not real. It's not true.

Oh, dear, I do. So when I cleaned the laptop, I kind of moved on to the next thing. But I didn't, I never came online.

I came online. I never did this free service sort of to try and get a girlfriend, because I've not been very successful, have I? 14 years. And I'm single.

So if my aim was to get myself into a relationship, then I have, well, I've not tried very hard, have I? Because if that was my aim, I would have been married years ago. If I really, if that was my sole purpose for doing this stuff, and it really isn't, I would never work this hard to get a girlfriend. Ever.

I really wouldn't. I wouldn't work this hard for anything. Spending hours, thousands and thousands of hours making recordings, studying, working on a website.

I would not put that amount of effort in to, even for a million pounds, I wouldn't. I wouldn't have spent 14 years doing this. If at the end of it, it said, you can have a million pounds in 14 years.

That wouldn't have motivated me. I'm not saying I wouldn't like the million pounds. Yeah, that'd be quite nice.

But I just wouldn't work that hard. Definitely not for a relationship. Because ultimately, it's a human being, isn't it? It's how many billions of people are there? I wouldn't get too excited about one particular person.

There's billions, seven billion. There's others out there. That's why I think when people sort of, they want to be friends with me, but they just want to sort of take advantage.

And I think, well, why don't you, again, I'm not talking about anyone that's listening. I'm talking about real life people that I know. I do think, well, why don't you go and hassle one of the other seven billion people on the planet instead of me? Why me? Why me? So yeah.

So if anyone's ever complained about me or sent in messages, I don't know, let me have a message for you. I wonder why you're listening. But to be fair, thanks for listening, I guess.

I don't get any money out of doing this. I don't get any money from, I don't have adverts. I've taken off the PayPal thing, which I try and get a little bit of support to cover the cost of running the service, our website and the podcast and all that stuff.

I've taken it off my website now as well. So people can't send me that anymore. So I'll have to sort of cover that myself for as long as I can.

And I'm not sure how I'm going to do that. The website is not too expensive. It's $29 a month, but the podcast is $72 a month.

The internet is $29 a month or $30 a month. And other stuff that I've been using as part of this, you know, sort of software and hardware as well comes to thousands. I mean, I've got another, I've got an iPad to replace the laptop that's breaking.

The laptop keeps literally just freezing on me and breaking down. And I reset it to the factory settings about three days ago. It took all night, literally took all night.

And the internet doesn't work on it very well. It's really just, I think I've overused it. I really have used it so much.

So I've got a deal with the internet provider and they've, I bought an iPad, which is going to cost me £32 a month for about 43 years or something like that. So I can't believe why they're charging you £32 a month for 43 years. You know how much that would come to? I'd see someone for about that.

No, it's not really 43 years. Imagine if you'd have to say that every time. Just kidding.

Just kidding. Just kidding. Just kidding.

I used to know someone I worked with, he did that. He'd just say the most rudest things and say, just kidding. But he didn't mean the just kidding part because it sounded the same and then I realised, I caught him out once because I was standing behind him and I could see inside, because it was winter, I could see inside his jacket because he had his hand in his jacket.

He had a recorder, a little digital player that just used to say over and over, just kidding. So basically, whenever he said something offensive, he'd press the play button and say, just kidding. I couldn't believe it.

And you know why I couldn't believe it? Because it isn't true. I was just kidding. So what was I? This is a moany one, isn't it? Dear Jackson, I know I can't send this to you, but I'm very upset with your attitude today.

And me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. It's a little bit, for me, I remember in the past, I had a couple of relationships end, like romantic relationships and the woman I was with, for some reason, I don't know why she was with me, but also for some reason, even though she was ending it with me, thought that it was acceptable to sit down and tell me all the things I did wrong and everything for the next three hours, and then cry and then be comforted by me. I allowed that to happen once.

I got caught once, once caught in that net, never again after that. Occasionally I sort of stay and just listen a little bit and then just laugh and go, because if someone's doing a dumping, then why? I want to make them feel better by sitting, listening to them yabber on for three hours about what a bad boyfriend I was. It's like, you know, I already know I was a bad boyfriend because you're dumping me, but I need you to learn something from it.

I need your next girlfriend to benefit from my wisdom. Yeah. All right then.

Oh dear. Like I'm going to learn anything. I'm not going to learn.

I'm not here to learn. I'm here to annoy people. Dear Jason, I'm not happy with this podcast episode at all.

I like it much better when you're chewing food. That's much more interesting. Or when you're talking about your statistics.

Do not like it when you, this was not my cup of tea at all. I've sent this by pigeon carrier. So yeah.

So Molly's another person. Hi Molly. Beautiful, beautiful Molly in Australia.

Got Natalie, wonderful Natalie. Yeah. Rachel.

It's too many people, too many people. There's a lot of people that are on my Facebook that I've been friends with and they've supported me. And I don't mean to disrespect that support by closing my Facebook, but you know what? I'd rather have no support than have, have be attacked.

You know, so I can't have that anymore. It's a shame, which makes you wonder what's the point of doing this. I don't know.

And I'll probably wake up tomorrow and just put Facebook back on and then just like think, Oh, I'm going to undo that. That was a bit of a weird podcast. I don't know what to do now.

So I'll be sending messages to everyone. Dear Rihanna. Sorry, sorry.

I mentioned your breasts and how, Oh, wait a minute. I didn't, did I? Oops. Yeah.

She was like, no, you didn't mention my breasts actually. Sorry. And, and I like, I'll sorry everyone for saying that I was leaving when in fact I was just going to come back after a day.

But yeah, I don't really like Facebook. I've been on there for a long time now. Like I'm sure a lot of people have, you know, I think I remember, I think it was, I think it was 2007 that I joined Facebook.

Might've been earlier, but I think it was, it was either 2006 or 2007. And so what's that? 13 years. It's just a website, you know what I mean? And it's just, and what other things? Oh, Twitter.

See, I, I like Twitter for one reason, because I get to follow boxes. It's the only reason I like Twitter, but I delete my Twitter page. Page.

I can follow, I can go online and sort of see what the boxes are saying. And there's interviews with boxes on YouTube and stuff, so I can still follow it. But it's always interesting.

I find it interesting to hear what the, I don't know, like for example, QE Fury was preparing for his world title challenge. This was a few years ago. And he'd post videos on Facebook of him chopping logs and training.

And it was just interesting to watch these little videos. I say little videos, he's, he's about seven foot nine, but little videos as in short videos. And it was interesting.

So you get to see some of that stuff on the, on the Twitter, you know, some of the training they do and some of the little spats they have with each other, you know, sort of calling each other out and stuff. So quite like that. But I decided if I do sort of have a girlfriend in the future, she has to love boxing.

Can't be with anyone that doesn't like boxing. She has to love it like I do. So that's gotta be a thing.

Maybe not love, I don't know if I love it. Do I love it? I'm a big boxing fan. It's the only sport I like.

And, but I'm not phonetical about anything. So I guess I'm not maybe about what I do online, but I'm not phonetical about sports. Wouldn't walk around with a picture of a boxer on, on a hat, or, you know, that kind of stuff.

Because that's a sign of phoneticism, isn't it? Yeah, I guess I don't like boxing enough to actually go and see a fight live. But that's more to do with the being in a crowd of people. Doesn't appeal to me, never has.

So yeah, it's, that's more of the reason. I think I'd only go to a fight, go to a boxing fight is if I had money. Like really, I had a lot of money and I could buy ringside tickets.

Then I could go to the big fights in Las Vegas and, and, you know, the E2, Wembley, you know, world title fights. And that would be cool. I could travel the world doing that.

If I had, mostly I'd have to have the money to do that because a ringside seat might cost like 50 grand or a hundred grand, I don't know. But then I'd enjoy it because I'd be sitting there with my popcorn, sitting next to some, I don't know, like Tom Cruise or someone that's, you know, a superstar. Yeah, that'd be good.

Although I don't know, my stomach's rumbling. I do wonder sometimes if some of those really famous people, the really famous actors that go, or let's say Justin Bieber going to a boxing ring and see, you know, sitting there, has he paid for it? Or has he got complimentary tickets? So I think there's some prestige, isn't there, to have in someone like Jack Nicholson or, you know, some like huge Hollywood legend turning up to a world title fight. There's, there's prestige in that.

So that I'm, I'm guessing that maybe they don't have to pay for the, for the, for the seat that they get. And then you've got the family. I think it's quite interesting.

Sometimes you see a fighter fighting for a world title or even defending his world title. He's a star of the show and his family are sitting in the third row. I mean, they're near the front, but they're still not only in the second or third row.

They're not in the front. The front, that's, that's for the superstars. That's for the, that's for the people with all the money.

And that, that surprises me. It's like, come on, these, these two people here are starring. They're the reason you're here.

Surely their family should be in the front to enjoy it. Especially if, imagine if you're a kid and it's your dad in the ring and he told you off earlier on. Now you get to see him get punched continuously.

That's, that's got to be good. You'd want to be in the front row for that, wouldn't you? I suppose in some ways, no feedback equals no censorship. Bum, bum, bum.

I don't know. I deleted the review page, which is shame, but I, I think I've, yeah, ultimately it doesn't matter really. I got to see the reviews.

I got to appreciate them. Thank you. Um, see, yeah, sometimes changes are required.

They're needed. Really, really, really needed. And yeah, we'll see.

We will see. So I don't know why I would do that. If I stopped doing this, stop doing, not, not this podcast, but all this, all of the online stuff.

If I stopped doing it, what else would I do? There's, there's, there's literally no alternative in my mind, which is probably a bit of a shame. That's, what would I do? Wow. I don't understand.

Jason, what did you do that for? I mean, Andre, Andre, Andre keeps farting. See, dear Jason. I know it's you.

I know, I know it's you that's farting. Why do you keep blaming it on Andre? That's not fair. It's not fair.

And I wish you'd stop it. I've sent this letter in a bottle and chucked it in the ocean. I hope you get it.

So it's, I don't know. I didn't even know. Oh, yeah.

You know, I got today, I got this congestion thing. It's, um, um, like a nasal dam. I don't know.

Let me just sit on the ground and tell you about it. Right. So I'm back.

Right. So this thing is supposed to be really good. And potentially, well, okay.

I've got to be careful how I word this, but because I don't actually, I don't care how I word it. It's, um, it was called a Water Pulse Nasal Wash Bottle. Nasal Wash Bottle.

It's model YT-300. Hmm. So it says range of uses.

This product is suitable for rooting, nasal irrigation, or daily nasal care for individuals who inhale large amounts of dust due to occupational reasons. So it's basically, is it like a douche bag for a douche for your nose? Is that a douche? You could probably use it. I wonder if it'd fit.

Yeah. That has got me thinking, but the point of it is because we have, if people with sinus issues and sinus problems, pain, and I don't know, I've never really had it, but I know my dad has it. And and this can help to relieve that pressure because it clears stuff out of the passages.

Apparently, and this there's no like a hundred percent or even one percent truth. There's no way of knowing, but this may help. It definitely can help with people that've got colds or the flu can help to sort of recovery time.

Apparently that's what I've heard. That's what I've read. And also maybe for other things, flu-like.

So it might help to prevent that stuff. Possibly. I don't know if it does, but I'm willing to give it a go as long as I don't have to put it up my bum.

I'm quite willing to, why would I say that? Oh yeah. I'm going to open it now, have a little look at it. Okay, what I'm going to do, I'm going to press pause and open it because it's making too much noise.

So I've got it open. So it's a bottle. It reminds me of a little baby bottle.

You know, the bottles for babies, they drink out of like juice and stuff. And yeah, which is, it says on there, water pulses, sausage. No, not sausage.

Snuggle? Sinew care. Nasal nipple. No, rinse bottle.

And okay, it goes up to 300 ml which I think is in millimetres or something. There are quite a few sachets of this and water pulse nasal rinse salt. So there's a lot in there.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. There's got to be 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. I'd say probably 50, 30, 40, 50, which is, that's good.

And I'm guessing they don't cost that much to replace because the whole thing cost me £9.99. So it wasn't expensive. But if it gives me some protection from coldy like, you know, flu like germs and stuff, then I'm willing to have a little rinse. Little nostril rinse.

I've seen videos on YouTube. It's really gross. If you like really gross stuff, go on and watch, what's it called? Um, yeah, just put in nasal rinse.

Or this is, what is it? This is daily, yeah, nasal irrigation. If you, if you type that into YouTube and you'll see some videos and it's just, yeah. And because you see, yeah, I won't go into details, but it's, the first time I saw one of these was on the Big Brother, not Big Brother, Big Breakfast in the 90s.

And it was one of the presenters. He, he tried what it is out live on telly. And it was messy.

I mean, messy. It was really, I mean, they were laughing, but it was, I was watching my, I was eating my breakfast while I was watching it. It wasn't a good idea.

But it's, so I've kind of known what they are for a while. That put me off doing it because I thought, oh, I thought, dear Jason, I don't mind you talking about snot and bottles squirting water up your nose and stuff like that. But I told you before, I don't like it when you say, so please stop it.

Don't, don't make me ask you again. I've sent this by teletext, teletext. I'll send this by, what was it? Is it? There was fax.

What's the other one? Telex. Was it Telex? Do you remember Telex? Wow. I worked in an office when I was about 17 or 18.

I don't know. One of them. And man, seriously, this, this job, the bloke that worked in there really didn't want to be there.

And I mean, I shouldn't, his wife kept getting mugged. That was his excuse for going home. I mean, I've worked in lots of places and they've never used the same excuse.

That's an extreme situation. That's rarely, if it happens, I mean, I've been mugged twice when I was in London, but it's not something that would happen to most people. And if it did, it'd be like a one-off thing in your life.

It's not generally, it's not sort of a regular thing. Every other couple of weeks, years to be mugged again. I said, are you sure? I just didn't see it.

And I felt guilty for like, well, questioning it, but it just didn't, didn't seem real. It didn't seem real. Might well have been, but it's just like, really? This is about 40 years ago.

It's a long time ago. And she was, anyway, yeah, for that, but he didn't want to be there and he kept taking time off. So I was left there on my own.

I didn't know what I was doing. And I had to learn to use a telex machine because I was sending telexes to other haulage companies. Because the whole thing is it's a haulage firm that they were taking, collecting from one place to another and trying to sort of organize blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And I kept trying to learn how to use it. And I just really struggled. I did in the end, very complicated for me, but I had no computer knowledge at that point because we had computers at school that were optional to learn how to use.

And that was, they were basic computers, but we could learn, I guess, some computer skills, things like typing and that kind of stuff. But it was basically open for anyone to sort of use, but I didn't bother. And we had a computer in the house.

And my dad used to like the latest gadgets. And I think we had two computers. We had one that was like very basic, but they were all basic then.

But then the second one was like a much, much more better one. But I went on there and I was like, this is just boring. Do I really want to spend this much time and this much effort learning something new just so I can make a picture of a really bad drawn house? Or get a computer to sort of say hello to me on the screen.

So I don't, that hasn't really changed my life, if I'm honest. In hindsight, I'm not going to say, which is a great thing, because people like to say that. And in hindsight, I think that in hindsight should have never been used, really.

But I think hindsight is a wonderful thing, isn't it? And if I'd have embraced computers, I don't mean like cuddled them and dribbled on them and kissed them. I don't think that, I don't mean that, although if I'd have embraced computers at a very early age, I had the focus and the, maybe the tenacity. I was very much, if I liked something, I'd keep going, keep going, just push myself through.

And a bit like Andre trying to get underneath the door, he's never going to do it, but he's never going to give up either. I closed the door, that is. The door's open, he's not bothered by it at all.

No, no, it's not bothered at all. No, no, no, no, no, no. So the, what was that? What was that? It's just me.

Oh, it's me. So if I'd have actually embraced the computers, and and back then it would have been a case of learning to code, because you couldn't do nothing with them. I mean, some, as they progressed, you know, things like Apple, you could, you know, you could work in an office and use it as a processor, a word processor and all that stuff.

But what was I going to write down on it when I was a kid? What was I going to, what my life story, you know, what we were going to do? Poems. I like to write things by hand. I always like to keep my right hand busy, even when I was a little, I just like to write, I like to do something with my hand, just keep it active.

And so I could have learned some code, could have learned how to, I could have, could have, could have, would have, would have, should have. I could have actually had a career, possibly. If I, you know, because I learned how to, I got my first computer in, I think, 1999.

I had a word processor in 96. And then I bought a computer for, that was about a thousand pound it cost in 1999. It was on a catalogue and I paid over about three years or four years or two years or something, three years and a million years.

And I didn't even touch it. It was there and I started it and it's like, okay, I had a DVD or DVD, a CD player. So that was good.

But it was like, oh, but it was a disk drive, wasn't it? I was like, oh, the screen lights up. That's nice. What now? What now? What are we going to do now? There's nothing.

It's just there. It's just a lit screen. There's nothing to do.

Now, you know, it was a while. It was another year before I actually used it in 2000. I fell in love with website building.

I really, really fell in love. The idea that this big piece of code that made no sense to the human eye or to my eye at the time could, you know, you could click it over and it could, you know, from being code to being a web page and you see it on a web page and it was, wow, really, I say beautiful page, but it's a page. It might have graphics.

And back in them days, a lot of websites had excessive graphics, but really, it was like a Christmas tree. Every page was like, it was, it was like Christmas in Trafalgar Square. It was ridiculous.

Lights everywhere, flashing, moving, moving text, stuff bouncing around, little noises, little sounds. I did all that. I did, you know, and it moved slowly because it was dial-up.

You know, I remember that sound. And it doesn't matter how old I get, even if I'll like be 143, when I hear that sound of the dial-up, it was still, it'll bring back like, oh yeah. Who knows, we might end up going back to dial-up.

The speeds of the internet has really slowed down lately. I don't know if you've had that, if you've noticed that, but the last few months, I can get, I'm lucky if I can get 20 megabytes a second. When I was getting 36 before, I'm paying for 36.

Mine's supposed to be broadband, the best that my provider can provide. But now Virgin, I think they're offering this super fast, it's like way, way, way out there, way faster than anything else. So I think when mine comes up for renewal, you know, the subscription or whatever it is, the contract, I might actually change over.

I might choose, I guess I never really had the choice before, but I might choose a Virgin. I might choose Virgin because it's, I've heard it's good, but I've heard that their customer service may not be as good as the one I'm with. Maybe, maybe not, that's hearsay.

So I wouldn't say it's not because I don't know from personal experience, but based on reviews and online, that's what I've seen. I'll only go by how I'm treated by the company. And the one I'm with, I don't think they've been great when it comes to the internet, because I've told them in the past, the internet's slow.

You need to come out and fix it. Nope, they won't come out unless they know what's wrong with it. Oh, he's making some weird noises.

It worries me a little bit. He makes more noises when he's asleep than he used to. I don't know, is he struggling to breathe when he's asleep? Has he is he just dreaming? I mean, the thing is, if he's asleep, he's not going to know anyway.

So when you're asleep, he might be, I don't know, if he's struggling to breathe or whatever when he's asleep, he's not going to know it, but he makes these noises. And if he did it when he was awake, I'd think that he was in trouble. I'd think that he was in pain or that he, you know, he needed me and I'd be cuddling him and sort of making sure he's okay.

And sometimes I do, I actually wake him up when he's making weird noises. I wake him up. I say, baby, you all right? What's going on? He looks at me, he says, piss off.

No, he doesn't. He said, looks at me, he's like, excuse me, did you not realize that I was asleep? I said, yeah, you're making noises, you're making weird noises. Like you don't do that when you're asleep, yeah? Is that what you're saying? No, I'm not comparing me and you.

I know I make weird noises. I snore. I have sleep apnea.

It's not anything I can do about it, apart from wear a mask. And I can't wear masks as I'm asleep. I can't, I just can't do it.

I've tried a mask on a machine, which is basically, which would be good for every household, I suppose. And, but I can't, I struggle to wear it. So I do feel for people that have to wear masks all day long, because it does hurt the face.

It does. I've worn one for eight hours in bed on quite a few occasions. And it does, it leaves a mark.

It really, it's not, it ain't wonderful, ain't a wonderful feeling. Plus, I can't remember which job it was, but I had a job where I had to wear a mask. And I think it might have been with the, there was some food, food handling.

I had a job which involved food handling. So I had, you know, covered up, apron, gloves, hat, hair hat, but also a face mask, which would be, I guess, the same as nurses or surgeons. It's uncomfortable.

You know, I spent weeks doing that. So I know what it's like, but again, I wasn't doing anything emotionally demanding whilst I was wearing it. But it's still like, oh man, this is weird.

But I was young, I was pretending I was doing surgery. So I kind of was like, we're going to do, what do you want to do? Because I'd be with a partner. Do you want to do appendix, heart operation, or should we do some more hemorrhoids? Should we remove some more hemorrhoids? And I always say, he said to me, I never ever wanted to remove hemorrhoids.

Why do you keep going back to that? I've always said to you, anything else but hemorrhoids, but you keep mentioning it. Why? I said, no reason. And he said, oh, it's because your podcast, isn't it? Because your podcast.

I said, what pod, what's a podcast? Because it was 1993. And he said, oh, that's a good point. I don't know either.

I said, no. It's strange, isn't it? He said, there's something I need to tell you. I said, what? He said, you might not believe this.

I said, well, I don't really believe anything you tell me generally, so it's okay. He said, what? I said, no, don't worry. He said, no, don't worry.

I spent all day with you, five days a week for the last two years, and you say you don't trust me. You don't believe what I say. I said, I do trust you.

He said, how do you trust me? I said, I trust you to lie. He said, don't lie. I said, you don't lie.

You always lie. You lie. And then you lie about how you've lied.

And you say two different things within the same sentence. I mean, the other day, you told someone else a story that I told you about myself. And you were telling it as if you were the person who is the star of the story.

And it happened to you. But it didn't happen to you. It happened to me, and I told you about it.

He said, that's not true. I said, what do you mean it's not true? He said, it did happen to me. I said, what? He said, no, it wasn't me.

I said, what? He said, look, an elephant. There's no, oh, there wasn't actually an elephant there. So that got confusing.

Apparently, he was there for the picnic. And I said to him, okay, well, let's get back to what you were originally saying. What is it you want to tell me? He said, I'm from the future.

I said, really? He said, yeah. He said, that's weird, because I'm from the past. And so is everybody else from the past.

We're all from the past. We're all time travelers moving through time. He said, now leave it out, mate.

I'm being serious, mate. I'm talking about me, mate. I'm talking about I'm from the future, mate.

That's what I'm telling you. I said, you weren't talking like that a minute ago. He said, yeah, I know, but this is how I talk now.

This is how people talk like in the future. I said, I'm sure people, no one would talk like that. He said, yeah, mate.

Yeah, mate, it's true, mate. That's how people talk like in the future. We just, it's really good.

You get me, you get me. Swear down. I said, what was that? He said, that was a Bruce Forsythe impression.

We do, everyone does it. Good game, good game. Nice to see you, to see you.

Nice. Yeah, everyone does it. Good game, good game.

Didn't you do well? And I said, that's a bit of a, it's a little bit of a random thing to mention Bruce Forsythe, isn't it? He said, why is that then? Why is that then? Everyone clap. Isn't he doing well? Stop, stop, stop. Why would you mention Bruce Forsythe? A lot of people listen to this, won't even know who he is.

They're from different countries, from Brazil and Egypt and different places, you know, all over the world. But I don't, I don't, I don't know. And I suppose it's, is it some of the places going to be hot? I said, yeah.

He said, what kind of temperature? I said, I don't know. I mean, a day like this, because it was a summer, so I suppose, probably about 10 degrees higher, so it's probably going to be about 90 degrees. He said, so what about the next country? What about India? Lower or higher? Higher or lower? Go on, you choose, you choose.

You're not Bruce Forsythe. Anyway, I managed to get back on track in the end. So I'm not sure if I'm going to squirt this, where I'm going to squirt it.

But here I am. So I'm going to go. I'm going to thank you.

And if you do like what I do, please leave a comment on the podcast. And please subscribe to the podcast that you're listening on. And remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy.

All of you, even the ones that moan at me, you still deserve to be happy. Just be kind to yourself. Lots of love.

Bye. Dear Jason. I didn't really enjoy that podcast.

And the first bit was very moany, very, very moany, like complaining. I quite appreciated the end, got a bit surreal, got a bit more humorous, light, light, you know, light was nice. Talking about Bruce Forsythe is it was a very vague reference that a lot of people wouldn't get.

And even though you did address it in the pretend conversation you had, I still didn't really appreciate that, I'm afraid. So yeah, I mean, I'm not complaining. I'm just letting you know a bit of feedback and that.

So what I've done, I can't contact you. So what I've done is I have made a little paper boat with this letter. I just just let it go off the sea.

I've chucked it off the end of the pier, actually, and it's floating on the sea. So hopefully we'll get to you. So thank you very much.

Gotta go because I need to poo. So thank you. Bye.

I wonder if he won't, is he going to say anything else? He doesn't normally say anything after he said goodbye. When he says lots of love. Bye.

Bye. That's usually it. There's not normally anything afterwards.

Is this a new thing? Is this a new thing that he's going to be doing? This is like a movie that has like something during the credits when lots of people have left at the cinema. Oh no, does that mean we've got to stay to the end? Oh, I don't know why it's thrown me all out of whack. But anyway, didn't he do well? Didn't he do well? He's still there.

He's still there. Oh, come on. Time to go now.

Come on, dear Jason. This will be my last letter to you. And I'd just like to say that I'm very, very disappointed in your very frivolous attitude towards the complaints that I've made.

I have tried my best to upset you. And you seem to be taking it very lightly. And I'm not pleased with that.

And even though I'm still listening to you, for some reason, it's very annoying. So I'll be sending you this message by smoke signal. And I hope that you, I hope that you learn something from it.

Hope you, hope you change your ways. Change your way. Give yourself a good talking to.