#405 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (21st May 2020)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please, please, please, please, please only listen once you can safely close your eyes nice and tightly.

So if you are doing something that you need your eyes for, then please stop listening to this. Yeah. So, oh, I'm a bit sweaty today.

It's a bit hot in here. It's better than being cold though. Well, depends really, doesn't it? I mean, depends if you prefer to be cold.

So I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm back. I'm back. I just want to say thank you for joining me.

Thank you for your ongoing support and your future support and for being the best listeners in the whole wide world web. Because I have the best audience. No one else has.

No one has an audience like mine. I've got the best. It might be smaller than other people's, but it's better.

I think you'll all, you'll all agree with me on that one. You can't not agree. Can you really? He's like, no, I don't think we're not a good audience.

I'm not. Oh, wait a minute. You sure about me? So yeah, you're a great, great, great little, great little audience.

So let me have a look at me. Tiddy, Diddy, Diddy, Diddy, Diddy, Diddy, Diddy. So yeah.

when in the party is the way to be so um yes oh i got a few messages today i won't read all of them out um i think i was feeling sorry for myself a little bit yesterday so i'm going to uh I can't even, I can't be bothered to apologise, no, I can't be bothered, no, no, no, no, no. It's er, I think as Forrest Gump said, didn't he, with the old chocolates, you never know what you, you never know what you're going to get. I don't know if that's how he said it, so, was it, life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get.

And that might not be a very good impression. Life is like a box of chocolates, my name is Forrest Gump. So, I watched that film for the very first time.

Like most films, you know, that I've ever watched, it's always been the very first time, but I remember that one because I was dating a girl called Elisa. And she was, yeah, we was in love. We was in love.

She was, yeah, when I was launching the film, she was 18 and I was 26. And she was way more mature than me, trust me. In fact, no, I was 25.

I wasn't 26. I was, yeah, I was 25. Still, she was still, what's that, 25, 18, six years older than me, or six years older than her.

And I remember I watched Forrest Gump on video because she was a student nurse and she was, I think she went to sleep and I sat on the floor against the, you know, just rested against the side of the bed and watched the Forrest Gump on telly, on her telly. I loved it. I loved it.

I also had to turn the volume up because she was asleep. So she started farting, but it was a good film. I did watch it once without farting and it's, it's a little bit different.

The atmosphere is a little bit different. I didn't realize there was serious parts in the film. It's hard to take a film seriously when there's farting going on, you know, but it's okay.

They were sleepy, they were sleep farts. So it wasn't, there's no one's, no one to blame. Dear Jason, I can't believe it.

I decided to give you one more chance. I'm listening to your recording and you're only six minutes in and you're talking about farting. Isn't there nothing else you can talk about? Why are you just talking about farting all the time? And that poor girlfriend of yours, how will she feel if she, she finds out that you're talking about her little chatting bum? So I've got, so far, so I'm doing this recording again in time to release it just after midnight.

So it's half past, it's 20 past 11. I'm doing this a day before I release it, but an hour before, you know. And so today, it would technically be Thursday the 21st, but you know, it's actually Wednesday the 20th.

And so far, the stats just for today, 5546 downloads. That's not bad, is it? Half 11. There's still another two hours to go until the stats finish.

Yesterday, I ended up on 5334. Day before, 5922. And the reason I'm excited is because this time last year, I was struggling to hit 2000 a day.

So yeah, that's all I'm going to say about that. But I'm pleased with that. Very pleased.

Very, very pleased. And if you, if you ever fancy listening to any of my other stuff, the reason I mentioned this is because I've got other stuff. And I've got other podcasts, other recordings, over 1700 recordings from the last 14, 15 years.

And I do have a recordings for sleep that aren't me just chatting. So, you know, for those that find that might find this, oh, he keeps talking about farting all the time. He's just, you know, just I do do sort of serious stuff in a sense of relaxation recordings, hypnosis, stress, anxiety recordings, deep relaxing sessions with and without music.

So there's some sort of, I was gonna say professional semi professional recordings out there that I do take seriously when I make them. So yeah, just just in case you're interested in that. And so the main the main podcasts I've got, Deep Sleep Whisper Hypnosis.

That's one of my most popular podcasts. I've got 200 and I think 227 episodes of that one. And they're roughly about 20 minutes each.

And it's just me going, get relaxed, now go to sleep, go to sleep, go on, go to sleep now, now, go to sleep now. So it's whispering, it's very comforting. Then there's the Hypnosis for Sleeping Deeply.

And that one's the most popular podcast of all of them that I've got. And that's got all my sleep stuff, including this one, including, you know, everything's on there. And you've got the Jason Newland free hypnosis service, which has got all my, I put all my latest recordings on there.

This one, of course, Let Me Boy To Sleep. But you might be listening to this on either Hypnosis for Sleeping Deeply, or Sleep Insomnia Hypnosis, which again, is one of my most popular podcasts. And it has all my different sleep stuff.

So if you're listening on that podcast, you probably be aware of the other stuff I do. But you might not be aware of the Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress and Anxiety, which is, although it's not the most popular podcast as far as overall stats, it's the most popular daily now. I don't know why.

I don't know why. But I've had nearly 1500 downloads today on that podcast. I don't want to question why I'm happy.

I'm happy about it. So, you know, I'm not going to sort of moan. So why are people listening? Because they must like it, I guess, you know.

So other than that, the other podcasts that I would recommend would be, and there's some stuff that you might not know about, actually. So I've got the Sleep Hypnosis Weekly that I mentioned. But I also have Self-Help Hypnosis, which has quite a few really good recordings on there.

And there's also the Relaxation Hypnosis Podcast, which has a lot of my old recordings on there for relaxation that you kind of won't see anywhere else or hear anywhere else. And I've got Chronic Pain Hypnosis Podcast as well. So there's a few different things on there that might be useful to you.

So I do, I'd say check them out. I'd like the Chronic Pain one to become popular, because then I'd release a new one every day. That's a dream.

That is a dream of mine. That's why I got into this, to start with, is to help people with chronic pain. And that's what I was known for when I first started doing this.

But then I kind of, when I ran out of years, I mean, we're talking a long time ago, I resisted to do what people asked me to do. It was a case of, I really like your chronic pain stuff, but it's really relaxing. Can you do a relaxation session? Can you do a sleep session? Because your relaxation sessions send me to sleep.

Your pain release session sends me to sleep. Can you do a long sleep session? Can you do something with whispering? Can you do one with music? And I just, it got to the point where the sleep stuff was, well, it has always been for many, many years, the most popular stuff that I do, until, until, until, until the relaxation hypnosis for stress and anxiety took off. And that's really taken off like in quite a big way.

And so from the looks of it, that's the one, I reckon by the end of this year, that will be ahead. It's like a little horse race, a podcast. You know, I've got one, hypnosis is sleeping deeply, 241,500.

So that's like in the lead. And then there's sleep insomnia, it's hypnosis, 223,000. And then just below that is deep sleep whisper at 200,000, 478.

And then you've got what's next, relaxation, the hypnosis and stress at 194,000. So that's like it's slipping in, slipping into it. It sounds weird, slipping into it, you know what I mean? And let me bore you to sleep, 145,000.

So I'm stopping with stats. I'm just, the thing is, on these recordings, I talk about myself. And the most important thing in my life is this, this and Andre, they're the two things.

And this is, this is my life. So the stats are a very big, important part. It's not really a proper sentence, is it? A very big, important part.

And I don't have any other big, important parts. So this is, I had to make one up. So this is it.

It's important, because the more I focus on the stats, the higher they get. I wonder if that would work with other things. I wonder if other things will grow if I focus on it.

It won't. I tried weights once. You should never do that.

It's very dangerous. And I was young, you know, I was only 39. I didn't know any better.

So I've got a couple of messages. And let me have a read of these. I can't read the one from Molly.

Molly, wait a minute, see if I can download the Facebook app, because I got rid of it yesterday. Because I, I left Facebook forever, didn't I? And then five hours later, I joined again. I'm like a little baby, sometimes.

A little tantrum. That's it. It's Facebook.

It's Facebook's loss.Me leaving. I used to do it so regularly.

I used to leave Facebook. And I used to be so dramatic. I mean, yeah, I'm talking quite a few years back.

But I'd like play music. And so that's, that's it. I'm leaving.

And then I'll be back the next day. Sorry about that. But yeah, it's a good thing with Facebook now because on the iPhone, I can log in instantly, just so easily.

It's Juju Cowardice says, Cowardin, sorry, Cowardin, sold two paintings on Etsy this week. Different buyers too. It's a lockdown miracle.

Well done, Juju. If you want to check out Juju's art, it's Juju Cowardin. And she's in my friends list.

In fact, what I'm going to do, I'm going to share it, share to, share to a story, share to a page's story. I'm just going to share now, post it. So if you go to my Facebook page, you can check her out.

Just some really lovely art. And check her out, man. If you want, if you don't want to, don't.

I wouldn't bother myself. I'll post her on my Facebook page. You can have a look.

It's a big, bright purple box with sold two paintings on Etsy this week. So good, good for her. So what other things have I got? A couple of messages.

How have I got, oh yeah. What messages do I have? Jason, hypnotist. Inbox.

I didn't want, okay, I'll leave that one. And Elizabeth. I got a message.

So I tried to send a message and it keeps saying I need a code. I replied, what's the message? This is the 14th of May. And then today she said, hi, thanks for you for responding.

I'm sorry, but I can't remember what I wanted to say. It's driving me nuts. I have way too many things at this point.

I really just want it to be done. So, okay. Take care.

I don't really know. I don't really understand that. Deb says, hi, I've been listening to you on your podcast.

Definitely helps. This was yesterday. Definitely helps me sleep much better in the last two months.

I've recommended you to my friends. Thank you, Deb. That's Deb Lowe.

Thank you. I just dropped my glasses on the floor. What other messages have I got? Kerry.

Hey, Jason, hope you're okay. We have been loving your ball me to sleep podcast. Really works on the whole family.

But notice you haven't done one. Okay. I've read that one before.

I'd cut the days off and she's just checking up on me, which is lovely. And another message says, so I did a shout out for a son. And she said, love it.

Andre farting and you mentioned Jackson again, made his week pretty sure it wasn't Andre though. It was Andre. Kerry, come on.

Where else would I get a sound like that if it wasn't from a ferret's bum? And my bum does not make sounds like that. I'm a very good boy. I would never.

I don't know. How do people do stuff like that? I wouldn't know. I wouldn't not know.

So I've got some messages. Let's have a look at the messages. Where's my messages now? Oh, how weird.

So I had some messages and now it's not showing anything. Oh, there it is. Go install.

So I have to install messenger in order to see the messages. I want to install messenger. I suppose I have to.

Otherwise I can't see the messages. Okay. Opening it.

Continue is Jason Newland. Oh yeah. Georgie sent me a message.

Hope you're okay. People can be so nasty. Thanks Georgie.

I'm cool. I'm cool. Rachel, sorry you had nasty reviews.

Please don't stop the Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcast. I love it. By the way, can you please stop talking about the stats because that annoys me.

And if I hear you yawn one more time, I'm going to come over there and I'm going to put dog poo through your letterbox. Wow. And she starts off saying, sorry, but you had nasty reviews.

That's a bit harsh. Whoa. She didn't say that.

She didn't say the first part. She just said, please don't stop Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcast. I love it.

And if you keep going on about your stats, and if you want to yawn, and I will put dog poo through your letterbox. It must be true. How would I remember word for word what I'd said? No, she just says, sorry if you're nasty.

I mean, I suppose I'm just a little bit oversensitive. I think that's what it is. And maybe this nasty is probably not the right word.

I don't know. Jen. Oh, wow.

I've got another message. But this is it was a message request. Hi, Jason.

This is from Jen Bryant. Hi, Jason. Just heard your podcast saying you were shutting down Facebook.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I love your broadcast. Let Me Bore You To Sleep. It's amusing and works every time for me.

I'm a 65 year old living in Australia, but originally from London. And I feel like I'm listening to one of my lovely buddies from back home. Ignore the negative comments.

You are providing a unique service and it's great. I would like to send you a small contribution to your PayPal account if you send me the details. I don't accept small contributions.

Sorry, Jen, anything less than 10,000 pound. Not much use to me. So I have to delete you.

That's Jen. I mean, I don't know if it's a man or woman again. I'm gonna go down there.

I'm not going back. I'm not. See, it's just me being silly.

I'm just being silly. Everyone knows I'm just silly. Please, everyone in the future, anyone listening to this, try not to take me too seriously.

Take me seriously when I'm doing the stress stuff. I want to tell you how amazing you are and how you can change the way your mind is and how you can feel more relaxed and all that. Take me seriously when I say the nice stuff.

Take me seriously when I am using hypnosis and visualization to help you to sleep or to change the way you feel when you're outside and, you know, relieving stress so that you can go back to doing the things and living the life that you used to live and be happier. Take me serious for that stuff. These let me bore you to sleep.

It's just me messing about. Genuinely, it's me messing about. I mean, no harm or malice apart from when I do.

And thanks, Jen, for that. And, you know, I think what it is with one of the people I talked about, it was, I think, a little bit of miscommunication from both of us. So, but, you know, I did read out some other nasty mess from other people.

And so it's kind of a mixed. I did at the end of it, I thought, wow, is that really negative recording? And I don't want to do negative recordings. But the good part of it, that he said the good part of it, the good part of it is I've had some lovely messages.

Because I know that the stress anxiety podcast is popular, because of the amount of people that are listening every day, it's going up and up and up and up. But I don't get much feedback from that podcast. I know that deep sleep whistle one's popular, because it's growing, growing, I get a few, a few comments, a few messages, not a huge amount, but a few and always positive.

And it's generally I've had a few that said, you sound like a pedophile and stuff like that, you know, just it's like, yeah, why would you put the energy to write a letter or message like that? But, you know, it's, it's hurtful, it is hurtful. But I've mentioned before I had someone really slagged me off a real horrible message on YouTube. And saying how rubbish my hypnosis session was, and I wouldn't be able to hypnotize a dead parrot or something like that.

And she, I went on to her page, and she was actually filming herself listening to a hypnosis session, not one of mine. And it was a little girl, I mean, she couldn't have been more than about 13, 14. And she was stuffing her face full of sweets, or chocolate or crisps or something.

She had music in the background, as well as listening on headphones. And she wasn't even she was looking at her phone. What she was what the screen, the computer screen or laptop had the video, the hypnosis video one.

She didn't, wasn't really giving it the attention that perhaps it needed. That's all I'm saying on that one. I wonder why it says request chat requests.

So I'm gonna, I'm gonna reply. Thanks, Jen. But I guess you would have heard this.

So that's Jen in Sydney. Hello, Jen. And I'll put very kind of you.

Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss. So that's it. And I don't know why it would didn't have it on the actual thing.

That's a bit, yeah. So open messenger. Okay, done.

Please. So that's done. You can, you can now call each other.

I can now call her. I don't want to call people. Not that I don't want to call Jen from Australia.

I just, I think partly why I don't generally want to talk on the phone, just generally is because I spent years and years and years working in call center, talking on the phone and listening to people on the phone. And although I was really good at it, it, it burned me out. It burned that part of me out.

And so what was I saying? I'm not saying something, am I? God, I must've been saying something. My mouth was working. I don't know.

And I got distracted by nothing. I actually distracted myself by, there's a fly in here. I'm a little bit worried because last year, last year, I was attacked by a dinosaur.

That was a little bit worried because last year I was invaded by flies. I mean, I'm talking 30, 40 flies in this flat and I don't know where they came from. I know, obviously I know about the daddy fly and the mummy fly, you know, getting romantic and stuff, but I don't know.

I couldn't figure out where they were coming from as far as I wasn't doing anything different. You know, it's the only time I've ever seen that amount of flies is when there's been a dead, something dead buried and the flies were trying to get to it. And this, there was nothing in here that was, I mean, it was my feet.

I don't know if I've got smelly feet because I can't smell them. They're too far away. In fact, I can only see my feet when I sit down.

I lift my feet up, lift my legs up. When I'm standing up, I can't see my feet. That's right.

They're willies in a way. No, it's my belly. My belly is, I can't, honestly, sometimes I wonder, I get a little bit out of body experience.

I'm walking around thinking, oh no, perhaps I don't have any legs or feet. And I get a little bit dizzy and then I sort of, I have to step back and push my, put my legs forward and lean back. Okay, there they are.

Oh, I'm hovering. A magic carpet would be good, but I don't think a magic carpet would be any good for me because I have to sit down. If I had a magic carpet, it would have to raise up and I think you'd have to have a seat on it.

You would have to have a chair on top of the magic carpet. I suppose unless I lay down on it, it might not be something that I need to rethink about, but it's good to be prepared, isn't it? So today, so Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly. Let me have a look.

Molly sent me a message as well. Molly, where are you? Molly, where are you, Molly? Where are you, Molly? Oh, there you go. You're inside my heart.

And I think it might be the message, a comment on a, on a thingy. Oh, yes. Thanks for these, Jason.

Really appreciate it. Look forward to these every day. That's the, let me bore you to sleep.

And I said, thanks, Molly. And I just realized, well, I spent Molly wrong. It's M-O-L-L-Y-Y, but it's supposed to be M-O-O-L-E-N-T-I-T-L-P.

I don't know. No, it's M-O-L-L-Y. I'll get confused.

Very much. Very much confused. My friend found a snake.

How about that? See, just when you thought these podcasts couldn't get any more exciting, my friend found a snake. Like a proper, um, well, it's a snake, like a proper snake. It's like a snake, but this one's got gills.

No, it's an actual snake. And it's, uh, like a foreign one, like from South America or somewhere like that. And so it's not, it wouldn't survive in the wild here because it's not warm enough.

And we've been trying to figure out where, where it's come from, because it must be a pet. It must be a, because it's not come from the wild. So it must be a pet snake.

And it's not a baby, baby, baby, baby, baby. It's, it's a baby, but it's not tiny in the sense of it just caught a bird. It had a bird inside its tummy and feathers all around its mouth, a thirsty, four-year-old moustache.

And so they found it over the fence to where we live and the people living over there were, they came and got my friend because he, he loves snakes. He's, it's really ironic. It's an ironic, don't you think? He, I remember that song.

See, I really liked that album. It's like, was that 1996, wasn't it? I think. 1996.

And I've gone through periods in my life where, isn't that interesting? I've had, I just posted that thing for my friend, Juju. And I had two people like the, the picture, the, the thing. Isn't that interesting? Just shows you the shending, sharing, that's a mix between sharing and sending, sharing a Facebook page.

Posts can actually help the person who's got the post. Maybe that means that everybody listening to this on Facebook or seeing my posts can post this onto your pages just for one day, just one post just to see what happens. So you imagine, let's say there's, I mean, in all fairness, although I do, you know, most of the people that I hear from are on Facebook as far as, you know, they contact me.

Some, some don't, some do it by the website and stuff or Twitter, but it's a tiny little percentage of the people that actually listen to me are on my Facebook page. And, or, or just going by the stats of where people come from and Facebook is a very small amount of people, which surprises me really. But let's say a hundred people see the link.

It's not a lot, is it really? But let's say a hundred people see the link on Facebook and share it onto their page. That's, that's potentially, let's say a hundred people see those. A hundred, hundred.

That's over 233, isn't it? So over two, in fact, over 250. I think you find a hundred, hundreds, 10,000. Yeah, over 250.

See, you can't win that argument with me. I will argue all day long on that particular subject. And I'm in quite a good mood today for some reason.

I think what it is, is a mixture of things. Firstly, that the statistics from my podcasts are really shooting up. The last couple of weeks are really, or really, I suppose the last 10 months, you know, since I've been doing this, it's been rising.

But it's, it's given me a little bit of a buzz, a little bit of enthusiasm. No, not a little bit, a lot of enthusiasm to keep going and to make new recordings. And that's kind of what I'm about.

I'm about making new content, fresh stuff, doing a new deep sleep whisper every day. I basically spluttered when I said that, didn't I? Deep sleep whisper. Deep sleep whisper hypnosis.

I've definitely got some kind of speech impediment thing going on. It's weird. I started, ever since someone said that, you know, a few months ago, about whistling and I started being, I've been taking more notice of myself because, you know, I make fun of myself all day long.

I can, you know, I will do, you know, if you listen, you know that. And if I make a weird sound, I know it's like, I'll pick up on it. And when I whistle, like then, you know, whistle, then I notice it, but it's, the whistling part has become, I almost can't not hear it anymore.

It's, it's, it doesn't bother me in normal day-to-day life, but then I don't really talk to anyone in normal day-to-day life, generally. And anyone that's friends with me would never be bothered by that. Because, you know, if someone's your friend, doesn't matter how they talk or what they look like, does it? Is it they're your friend? It doesn't, that stuff's not important.

But, and I always thought that I spoke, that I spoke quite well. I always thought I spoke quite well, I did. I thought I had quite a nice speaking voice.

And maybe it's not as nice as I thought. And for me, I'm talking more about the and pronunciation, being able to communicate clearly. That's what, that's what I mean.

But I don't know, maybe not, maybe bloody well not. And so yeah, that would annoy me. That would, I tell you what would probably annoy me, and I'll probably get a message now that I've said this.

If I got a message from my relaxation, relaxation hypnosis for stress, anxiety, panic attacks, if someone sent a message saying, this is absolutely, it's because that that is, it's so personal to me, that podcast, because of my own struggles with anxiety and stress, and absolutely ruined my life, back in 2003. And 2004, oh man, it was, it ruled my life. And I thought it ruined my life.

But clearly, I'm still alive, and I sort of didn't. But wow. And I tell you, I would have, what I would have, I would have appreciated to have someone like me to listen to.

Not me, I wouldn't want to listen to myself, because that's, I don't like listening to me. But someone that was, that was trying to help. And I'm not talking about these recordings, the stress ones, someone that was able to offer sort of three versions or four versions of different things.

So I do the recordings, the like, standard relaxation session, it's hypnosis session for relaxation. Two versions, one with that, with me talking, one with music, then I do like a relaxation technique. And then I do another recording, which would be me talking about a subject.

And I did one today, and it was groovy. I actually really feel pleased with myself. It's weird, isn't it? I'm all about myself today.

It's very strange. It was, I don't know what it is. It's sort of podcasts.

What did I do? And relaxation for stress, anxiety. Mind you, this one isn't showing all of the latest ones. 25th of May, you can choose what you think about.

And this is actually 68 minutes long, which is quite long for a recording, you know, for that type of thing. And I'm just talking. And I was, I don't know how I do it, that bloody fly.

I don't know how I do it, how I'm able to do it. It's sort of similar to this, but in a serious way. So I keep trying to get myself to come back to focus on the subject in hand, but I do end up off somewhere or sometimes.

It's, you know, I start off in California, I end up in Liverpool. It's really that kind of, how did I end up here? I'd like to visit Liverpool. I've been past there when I went to, when I went to Liverpool, because I went to, I got a ferry.

It's 2004. And we went to the Isle of Man. So I went to Liverpool and via Blackpool, and it was the most windiest day of all time, outside of a hurricane that we had in 1987 or 88.

I think it was 87, might have been 88. I think it was 87. It might be 88.

It was so windy. Seriously, at one point, I looked up, I thought Mary Poppins was there, with her umbrella. I realised it was my nan.

But luckily I had some string attached to her ankle when I was holding it. So that's okay. Why would I be walking around with string attached to, what a weird thing to say.

Everyone thought it was a Mary Poppins balloon, but it wasn't. It was so windy though, really. It really was windy.

My nan got stuck in the public toilets. It was one of those with a timer on it. I don't know quite how it worked, but it was a mixture of emotions.

I was worried because of my nan and she was stuck. We were outside. She was safe, unless there was some kind of back door, a back entrance.

No, that sounds like a weird thing. But it was like a port, almost like a porter cabin, but not. So she was stuck in the toilet.

And again, it was concern, but it was just funny. Not because she was stuck, it's just, it's funny that anyone gets stuck in a public toilet. It's the childishness comes out in me.

I can't help it. It wasn't that she was suffering because she didn't seem to, I think she found it quite funny as well, to be fair. But in the end, we just had to go to the other man without her.

I had to leave her in there. I'm not sure what happened to her really. I saw her again.

I hope she's okay. If you don't know me by now, you will never ever, ever know me. Yeah, I think that's fair, isn't it? 405 recordings.

If you don't know me by now. How many years is it? I'll be doing these, let me avoid the sleep. So it's nearly two and a half years now.

Because what we may probably, let's start at February time in 2018. March, April, May. Yeah, it's about two years and three months.

Yeah. So Rachel sent a voice message. I won't listen to it just in case.

Isn't that weird? She sent a voice message just as I'm doing a recording. And I mentioned earlier, that Rachel's the one who's going to put dog poo in my letterbox. Rachel's a lovely, lovely lady.

And everyone is lovely. Which doesn't really mean anything, is it? When you say someone's lovely, but you say, well, everyone else is lovely as well. It makes it a bit pointless, doesn't it? The word lovely.

Everyone's lovely. But I want to be lovelier. You are lovelier.

Everyone's lovelier. I want to be the loveliest. You are the loveliest.

And so is she, so is she, so is he. Everyone that listens to me is the loveliest. But I want to be special.

Trust me, you don't want to be special. I was special when I was a kid. And look at me now.

So here we go. Facebook. What am I doing? Okay.

You know, it's not strange, but I've noticed with Facebook, is people, I don't know, just, I just find it interesting sometimes because I don't spy on people. I mean, they're on my Facebook as paid, as friends. So I'm allowed to sort of look at, see what they're doing.

You know, can you imagine what would happen if Facebook decided to release the viewing? So you could actually look at your page and look at everyone that's viewed, see everyone that's viewed when they viewed and see who they are and what they looked at on your page. Can you imagine how many relationships would be broken up? How many friendships? How many, uh, phone calls to the police there'd be. Wow.

This man keeps looking at my pic, my photographs. This woman keeps looking at my page, my Facebook page. I don't know who she is.

I'm scared. I had another message. I'm still on WhatsApp.

I thought I'd try to get rid of WhatsApp. Damn WhatsApp. I don't like WhatsApp.

We sent you some face masks. Okay. It's just family and stuff.

It's not, what's that picture of? Oh, it's my mummy, my mama. It's quite weird. Like, get this right.

My step mom is my dad's wife. They've been together a long, long, long, long time. I've known her since I was 17 and I'm now 49.

So I don't quite know at that age. It's a long time. And she's always been lovely to me.

She's a wonderful, wonderful person. But then so everyone is, aren't they really? And, um, she, she is, she turned 60 last year in the summer. I think her birthday's in the same month as me, or it's in the same kind of ballpark.

And I turned 49. So what does that make her? 11 years older than me. And she looks younger than she is as well.

So she, um, I think my dad does as well, actually. My dad's got a beard now. He looks lovely with his beard.

Now I know perhaps you shouldn't say that about your dad. Oh, he looks lovely. That beard really makes him handsome.

Maybe that's not right to say that about your dad, but he does. Oh, I could eat him up. He just, what it is, is he had a big juicy beard when I first met him when I was, just before I was seven years old.

And he rescued me from that children's home. And he was the loveliest, big, strong bear, you know, he was just this huge, always tiny. So any, you know, I mean, a teddy bear was like literally the size of an actual bear to me.

And so he was huge. And he's a big bloke. He's, uh, I mean, I think he said he was like 14 and a half stone when he was in high school.

You know, I was eight and a half school. I was eight and a half stone when I was at high school. When I left, he was 14 and a half stone.

And he's, he's, you know, he's was just naturally big out of whole family. He was the only one that was big. Everyone else was taller.

He's got two brothers. And they were both taller, a lot taller. So one's both over six foot.

So I think probably one's about six, six, three, six, four, maybe the other one's about six, two. And he's about five, 10. But he's, he's almost as wide as they are tall.

It's quite weird. And my granddad was not very big either, but not, he was slim, but he wasn't very tall. So my granddad was about my height, maybe a little bit taller, but he was slim, really slim.

And both my uncles, my dad's brothers, I don't, we know what uncles mean, don't we? And just trying to educate people, you know what I mean? And the, they were both really slim. One of them is a martial arts, jujitsu instructor. And, but he's had a prostate, what's his name, since for about 10 years, and he's still going.

He's a proper trooper. I can't believe it. So I don't think he does the jujitsu anymore.

But I've never had a close relationship with my uncles. They, and it's really weird. I'll tell you why it's weird.

Because I always got on really, really well with my aunt. I've got two aunts as well. And I would have had three uncles, but one of my uncles was born a twin, but the twin didn't survive the childbirth.

And so I've got twins in my family. I've also got gingers, ginger hair. So I'm not prejudiced against ginger, because I had ginger hair.

My gray hairs were ginger. I had a ginger beard. Seriously, the ginger, very, very noticeable.

And they were the first ones to go gray in my beard. And the same happened with my hair. So I've got a clump of gray hair at the top of my head, as opposed to, you know, just below my eyes.

You know, it's on my head. No, it's at the top. It's gradually moving further up over the time.

But it used to be gray. It used to be ginger. Sorry, now it's gray.

And you can't argue that that was a very boring story. That was the whole story. Wow.

So I've got ginger. And you know, it's weird. It's like, you could say, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I'd say, why are you saying yeah, yeah, yeah? And you say, well, then I really just Beatles fan, and I say, yeah. Apparently, what my dad does when he goes around my little brother's house, because they've all got, my brother, my sister, they've all got Alexa. I'm going to say it quietly, because my Alexa, I don't want it to start saying, what do you want? And he, he just says, Alexa, play the Beatles.

And it annoys me, does it just to annoy them? I would never do anything to annoy anybody. So I don't know where he got it from. That's my dad.

And on my Nan, my Nan's sister's daughter, my Nan's sister's, okay, I'll get this right in a minute. My Nan's sister's daughter's daughter is ginger. And my aunt's daughter's daughter is ginger.

You following me? So the ginger gene is very, very in there. It's not like a maybe, it's a real possibility. If I had kids, that my kid would be ginger.

And I'll be happy as punch, because I could just I could just leave, say it wasn't mine. So I wouldn't have to know. I'd be happy.

I like ginger hair. I do. Or red hair.

Whatever you want to call it. I think it's something it's kind of glamorous, in a way. Although I did date a girl once and she, she dyed her hair red, she dyed her hair ginger.

And it annoyed me. And it was, and I'm very, very kind of, you know, I am, what do they call it? I am a suffragette. I am a woman suffragette.

And I, there was part of me thinking, you didn't ask me permission before you did that. Now, I don't like that kind of thinking. Well, she should be able to do exactly what, of course she should.

It's so ridiculous. No question that it's her hair. But there was a part of me thinking, shouldn't you have like, perhaps mentioned it? Possibly.

I mean, I suppose, you know, if you if you're dating someone, and they come back and they've got a tattoo of a cock on their forehead, you know, a cockerel, and you probably have something to say. And you might say, yeah, that's not the same thing, is it? I didn't say it was, did I? We're trying to start an argument. And I don't know, it bugged me for some reason, even though I like ginger hair.

But I don't really mind any, I'm not bothered, really. I don't know, that doesn't really interest me very much. But anyway, one surprise about my uncle, me, not really, it's not that we don't get on, it's just he showed no interest.

And I've never shown no interest in him. So just, when I have seen him, I don't, that's it. It's literally nothing to say.

And same was with cousins and stuff like from that side, I didn't really get to know any of them. Apart from my aunts. I had two aunts, one that didn't have kids.

And I used to get on really well with her. And then we kind of didn't get on so well in later years. And then she, then my other aunt, who's always been my favorite, because we just get on.

She was best friends with my mum, my biological mum. She is the reason I was born. And I don't mean she was a surrogate.

It's she, she introduced my dad to my mum, because my mum was her best friend at school. And then, you know, the rest is a big mistake. So she's the one to blame.

And she said my mum, about my mum, the one thing that she liked about my mum was apparently quite chaotic or whatever, quite very, very energetic, very doing stuff and always sort of whatever. And she wouldn't go into too many details. And I said, and she said, it was very funny.

And I made her laugh like she did. I said, what do you mean you laughed in a different way? What was it? I know she said that's ridiculous. Just because your mum's funny doesn't mean you got to try and be funny as well.

You can't match her. Well, fair enough. Apparently, you know, she was really funny.

But that's not the point of the story. The point of the story is that when my mum left when I was about three months old, she, her, my aunt, the one that I always tell her that she's my, she's my four favourite aunt, but I've only got two. But she's my favourite.

I should get on really well with her. I don't know why I just always have just, just naturally click, you know, as people. And I get on really well with her daughter as well, Susie, although I haven't seen her since my nan's funeral.

So I don't know how she is. But she's both, they're both like really, they're different. But at the same time, I just get on with them, which I would do if they weren't family.

It was, I suppose. But I suppose really thinking about it, for a period of time when I was a baby, I would be seeing my auntie, wouldn't I? So there's probably that imprint of her in my psychological makeup, in my development. She was in there.

She was part of my growth, of my being like, at the age of three months, or probably at the age of being born, she was around for the first period of my life. And that's probably always going to stay with me that, you know, so that kindness, that love that she showed, and has always showed, will kind of stay, I guess, even though I rarely see her. And she said to me at my stepmum's birthday, I didn't know this, she said that her and my uncle tried, they organized to get a house, and they were going to live there, and raise me and my brothers, you know, as sort of adopters.

I don't know where my dad was in all this, but apparently the social services said no. And what I got out of that, first of all, is like, wow, they must have really loved me, and my brothers. They must have really.

You don't do that just, I suppose some people would do it a sense of responsibility or, you know. But apparently, because my uncle had kids, and she had kids, they thought it'd be too many kids together. Well, actually, it probably would have been really good, because I got on well with both my female cousins.

I didn't really get to know the other cousins. But the two things came like, okay, but then I thought, well, what happened to that love that my uncle had? He was willing to change his entire life for 16 to 18 years. I would be like a son to him.

So he was willing to do all that, put, you know what I mean, to really transform his life, to look after me and my brothers. Yet, it fell through, and it didn't happen in that. But he never really didn't make hardly any, hardly ever spoke to me.

Whenever I saw him, it's like, hello, are you all right? And that was it. Strange, isn't it? So I think when I do see him, I'm going to thank him. I don't know how.

I did send a thank you letter once to my other uncle. It was my first stepmom's brother. And he was the best uncle I ever had.

He was rich, but it wasn't that he was rich, although that was cool. But he was happy. He lived in a massive house.

But he was like young, he was full of energy. And he was so friendly, so full of love, and so kind, generous. And I don't know, it was just something about I really, really liked being around him, because he was successful, but he was also really, it was lovely.

He was kind of like, I don't know, it's like a little bit, why couldn't I have had someone like him as being in my real family, you know? It's because he was, he was just really, I don't know, really liked him anyway. And he was interested. He actually showed an interest in me as a person, which was unusual.

And I remember the first time he said, what would you like to do? So when you get older, I remember saying, what the hell has it got to do with you? I said, can't you just give me some money? I didn't, I didn't say that. And I got another message. What am I going to say? What's my message going to be, baby boy? What's my message? My message is, I've got two actually.

I've got one, I don't know if I read it or not. This is from Gwen. Okay, right.

Wow. It says this was yesterday. Or I guess it's today.

Yeah, the same day as I'm recording this. But yeah, yesterday. Wow, Jason.

This is from Gwen. Wow, Jason. I'm blown away by listening to your podcast last night, where you honoured me.

So I honoured her. I feel my few minutes of fame are equal to receiving a knighthood. I'm calling it a Jasonhood and will wear my hoodie with pride every night.

As a mark of respect and to show my appreciation, I'm sending you some virtual biscuits. By the way, I am a redhead, not a ginger. Thank you, Gwen.

Okay, thanks, Ginger Gwen. I mean, redhead. I think if I was, if I had ginger hair, if I had red hair, whatever, and people would like keep saying ginger, that probably would piss me off.

But trust me, I've been called way worse and because when I talk about ginger, I'm talking about it as in some of the most women that I've been most attracted to in girls when I was at school were ginger. And I don't know why, maybe it's in my makeup, maybe genetically, because you think about it, someone was ginger in my family, like going backwards or red hair. So my uncle, my, yeah, my nan's brother was ginger and uncle Anthony, and he, so I'm guessing one of his parents were ginger.

And it might not have been a blood relative, so it might have been someone outside of the family. But anyway, that genetic thing is in me to be a bit ginger. But at the same time, maybe to be attracted to gingers.

To gingers. You know what I mean? I don't mean disrespectfully to redheads, beautiful redheads. So thanks, Gwen.

That was groovy. Virtual biscuits. And like some virtual cake as well.

But yeah, I like ginger nuts, like the biscuits, goo. Oh, yes. Nadia, I got a message from Nadia saying, just listening to Let Me Bore You To Sleep and heard about the negative comments you've been getting.

I don't get why anyone would complain at all. All you do is help people. I'm a saint really, am I? I'm pretty much, I am Simon Templer.

I've been listening to you for years. My only problem is that sometimes instead of falling asleep, you make me laugh. I think some people don't get the English humour.

Oh, controversial, controversial. It is controversial, considering probably the majority of people that listen to me are from other countries. And I think when it comes to humour or whatever, it's whether or not they get the Jason.

Do they get Jason? Do they get me? I think that can be it. I think I'm a bit like a rash, you know? You got to get used to me. I'm a bit like herpes.

You know, I'm not going away anytime soon. And you can get annoyed, or you can sort of maybe try to get used to me. Try to sort of come around and think, well, I might as well give him a go.

You know, very much like her. That's not really a good sentence, is it? I think some people get, maybe that was a problem for whoever it was who got offended with whatever it was offended. Now, that is one of my sentences that I like.

Maybe that was the problem for whoever it was who got offended with whatever it was that offended them. I love that sentence. Nadia, that is my favourite sentence.

Ever. I love that sentence. Maybe that was a problem for whoever it was who got offended with whatever it was that offended them.

Brilliant. A complete sentence that meant nothing, but also at the same time did mean something. Anyway, just wanted to say thank you for all your help, but also for the entertainment.

Don't listen to people like that. Ain't worth it, mate. Keep doing what you're doing.

You're great. Thank you very much, Nadia. So I suppose in yesterday's recording, I was talking about lots of different people.

Well, not people, but I was talking about lots of different messages I'd had over the period of time. And I suppose I wasn't really focusing on any one particular message or one person or anything like that. It was more the general kind of atmosphere of that.

Because I look at it in a sense of everybody is, you know, everybody's going through stuff and someone might send a message to me and they're having a bad day, you know, just having a not particularly good day. And I've said something that's been annoying. And, you know, it's hard to believe that that could even happen.

But, you know, I suppose it could. And the thing is, once you send a message, you can't unsend it, can you? I mean, it's not like a letterbox. You put a letter in and you can't get it.

It's like, actually, you can't just pour petrol in it and set fire to the letterbox or, you know, bomb the road to get rid of the letter. Once it's sent electronically or digitally, it's there forever and ever and ever. You can't recall it.

And so, yeah, it's that's why I try not to send too many messages. I don't like texting really anyway, because that's a conversation that just won't end. And a conversation that goes on and on and on and on.

And I don't know, I've never really been. I think sometimes I've liked texting. I think when it first started, it was a novelty, you know.

But, you know, everything that starts out as a novelty becomes a little bit, sometimes it's like, in a sense of, what was I talking about? Sorry, I was talking. I started thinking about diarrhea being a novelty. And then I thought, well, it's never a novelty really, is it? And I thought, no, I won't say that.

And then I forgot what I was talking about. Yeah, anyway, it doesn't matter. Couldn't have been important.

So I'm going to go and I'm going to, so I'll upload this. I'm going to make a recording. I've just done a, before I did this, I did a sleep hypnosis, a deep sleep whisper hypnosis one, a couple of hours ago.

So I'll upload this one. And then I'll probably do a maybe try and do a long, you know, a sleep. No, not sleep, a relaxation session, both with and without music.

I'm just trying to think how I'll do it. I like to have an idea in my head before I start the recording, just a very little idea. So it might be, I mean, there was someone online who listened to all my recordings.

What did she say? It was a bum. Wednesday. Oh, it's the wrong person.

This is a different person. Okay. Okay.

Right. This is from, yeah, this is from Jen. This is a message.

Jason, just listen to recording 31. Before you said, before you said, I imagined this negative thought fading, but then re-emerging as a beautiful butterfly with enormous white wings, which just flew through the window in my mind's eye. This recording has left me relaxed and peaceful and peace.

So it's, it's things like that. It's because after I got that little bit of feedback, I thought, oh, okay. So I made another recording, but it was using sort of the butterfly kind of metaphor-ish visualisation.

So I'd like to have an idea of what I'm going to do before I start, but not necessarily know what I'm going to do. Just have a rough idea. So for example, it could involve ice or it could involve, you know, like a negative thought.

You could use a baseball bat and knock it away, you know, like a baseball and knock it all the way into the sun and just hear it go, it's that negative force gone. And the benefit of when you think about stuff in your mind, about doing something, for example, playing darts or playing snooker, or you're always going to win. You're always going to hit the target.

When you focus about something that's positive, you'll hit the bullseye every single time in your mind. Just like if you, especially if someone's into baseball or cricket or tennis, they could bat or knock that negative thought out of their mind all the way into the sun. Here it goes.

But they'll hit it every time. There won't be any misses because it's in your mind. So yeah, it's quite groovy.

So I'm not sure what I'm going to do for the relaxation session. I shall think it through and see what happens. So thanks, everyone.

Another message to say thanks to Jen for that message that you, for that, which was good. So yeah, Boston Chicky, Molly, Jodie, Brooke, Susan, Gemma, Lilith, David, Kissy, Monica, Rachel, Georgie. So yeah, there's quite a few people.

It's this, the list is, it's not endless, but it is quite large. I didn't get a chance to tell you about my prescription. So I'll talk about that tomorrow, if I remember.

So I came on here thinking I'm going to tell you about today. And I don't think I have, have I? I went out and everything. So I didn't tell you.

But yeah, it's weird because I don't even feel hungry. I wonder why that is. Oh, nevermind.

So I'm going to say thank you very much for listening. Thank you for the positive comments. And I like hearing nice things.

I think, and maybe it's an age thing, I don't know, but I've heard enough bad things to last me. I don't need any more. You know, I've heard enough stuff before I left school, enough negative things.

And then all the way through my twenties and, you know, and so on. And I, you know, it's just like, I don't need to hear it anymore. I don't really, you know, and anything that anyone says that's perhaps not complimentary, the opposite of the complimentary, is nothing compared to what I can come up with myself.

And I'm trying to, towards myself that is, and I'm trying to be more positive. You know, if I'm going to do these sessions for the stress and anxiety podcast, and I'm urging other people to work on the, you know, the thoughts and to focus more on positive thoughts and to, you know, look at reducing the negative stuff and pushing it away. And, you know, if I'm going to sort of tell other people to maybe do that or how they can do it, I need to be looking at doing it myself.

So perhaps, you know, it's got me thinking, I can try and think of some ways to deal with other people's negativity. But then it might not be negativity to them. It might just, because some things are worded in a way that actually it might not be.

It might have been a joke, but because of the way I've read it, or because, you know, it's like, well, that's not funny. And I've said that to people. I've, I left a message on one, a friend's answering machine.

And I said, will you, I said, will you, why don't you answer the bloody phone? Something like that. It was a joke. I didn't mean it like properly.

Yeah. She got so upset, really, and then sort of sent me a, I was going to say a bondage of horrible stuff in a text. I was like, wow.

I didn't talk to her for about five months. And still do, but I've not forgiven her. No, no, no.

So it's weird because I don't do that. I'm never verbally, I never verbally attack anyone. I used to, when I was younger, I did.

But I do it in person. There was no texts. There was no internet.

There was no email. It was face to face. And I would, I'd, I could stand up for myself verbally.

And I could give as good as I could give way more, way better than what I could get. But that was because I was young and I was being inconsiderate to other people's feelings, I suppose. Now I'm older and being inconsiderate to other people's feelings.

I've learned nothing. Brilliant. So anyway, thank you everyone.

And I'm still on Facebook, by the way, a lot of people might know that because they've seen me, but just to those that don't, the website's still up and everything's still exactly as it was. Twitter's still back and everything as it was, you know, Skype, I'm back on there. I've got some weird name on there.

So it might not be recognizable. I don't know. I was playing around with it.

I like to play. And yes, every time I do a new recording, I upload it. And it's available to download on my website.

Or you can stream it. You can download it. You know, whatever you want to do.

They're all available. Or you can download bulk downloads of up to 50 recordings at a time. So yeah, it's all groovy.

Very groovy. Very much so. So thank you for listening.

Thank you for being wonderful. Thank you for being the best audience. Thank you, everybody, for loving me.

I do deserve it. I really do. Thank you to take care.

Remember, remember to be kind to yourself. Everybody listening to this, whoever you are, wherever you are, just be kind to yourself. And even those people that might have sent me a message that was moaning at me, it doesn't matter.

Honestly, none of that stuff matters. Just be kind to yourself. It's not important.

You know, be nice to yourself. Do something wonderful. Treat yourself.

Buy some chocolate. I don't know, whatever it is that you like doing. And that's it.

I'll speak to you again tomorrow. Thank you for listening. Lots of love.

Bye.