#410 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (26th May 2020)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name's Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

I'm not recording this on my tablet because there is no charge on the tablet so I have to charge it up and I wanted to make a recording. So I've ended up deciding to say the word so quite often in the first part of this recording. So I'm using the phone instead.

And I don't know why. I mean considering it's an iPhone it should be equal or not, you know, it's not better sound quality but it's not as good as the tablet. Which is why I use the tablet for the sound.

And I've got a microphone that I use. But with the iPhone it has to have an extension on it because it's like a normal microphone and dongle bingle knob thing, you know, it just goes into the to the hole. Like microphones have done for decades, you know, little microphones.

But the iPhone doesn't have those anymore. It doesn't have the normal hole. It just has the, it's like a lightning connection.

So I've got an extension which I put in there. A lot of my ex-girlfriends are probably saying, well why don't you get an extension further? Perhaps we'll still be together, which is rude. So I got, I'm using the iPhone for this.

I've got the iPad. I thought well I'll start, I'll sort of use that to look at messages and stuff. The battery's gone out on that as well.

Damn, everything's juiced out. So I'm using the phone. So it's, I'll talk quietly, although I don't usually shout.

But I'll talk fairly quietly. And yeah, I'm actually doing this recording. 1.29 in the afternoon, which is very rare.

And it's a possibility of background sound. And if that does happen, I will continue anyway. But the simple fact that I have had two recordings interrupted two days in a row, where I couldn't upload them.

So I'm not going to let that, I'm not going to let it allow, let it allow, allow it to let me. So, so, so, so, so, so. It's annoying because, you know, half an hour of solid gold.

I mean, liquid, well liquid gold isn't solid is it? But you know, I mean, it's wonderful content, gone forever. So yeah, I'm gonna, you're gonna really notice it whenever I say so, aren't you? Now that I've pointed it out. I suppose it could be like, you know, you notice when people are being nice to you, when they're friendly.

Just noticing things. So I got a message, I got a message. Did I say only listen when you can safely close your eyes? Yeah, probably.

Got a message, where is it? Oh, snotty, lovely. And I've got a couple of messages actually. One from Gideon.

This says Venezuela. That was the message from Gideon. So that's nice.

I got a message from Paul Henderson. So Paul. Hello, Jason.

Paul again. I just made a PayPal donation. Well, so thank you for that.

I was, so I'll say thank you on here. Thank you for that. In honor of the 55th anniversary of Ali stopping Liston in the first round.

I'm sure Andre would agree that Ali, Ali, Ali, Ali was indeed the greatest. I have these discussions with him. Because thank you, Paul.

Thanks for your message. And also thanks for your very kind PayPal gift. And there's no doubt Ali was absolutely amazing.

I mean, to be able to punch when he was going backwards. And I realized me talking to you about this is going to alienate pretty much everyone else that's listening. So I shall continue.

And if I let that get in the way of me talking, I'd never talk about anything, would I? I'll just put this down, put my glasses back on so I can see my surroundings. Sometimes I do, I forget. I take my glasses off when I'm asleep.

Unless I go have a little snooze in the chair. I take my glasses off and I wake up and I think, Oh God, where am I? Where am I? I put my glasses on. I think, Oh, it's okay.

I'm still in the library. It's fine. So I had this, with Ali, I had this idea, you know, this whole thing is right.

If one boxer, let's talk about a heavyweight division, for example, who's the greatest of all time? And no one, the greatest, if you go for personality, Ali, out of any boxer of any era, Ali, Muhammad Ali was the most charismatic. In fact, it wasn't even boxing, he was the most charismatic sportsman that I can think of. Maybe there was others, but I've seen interviews with him, you know, on YouTube, stuff that happened way before I was even born.

He was so funny and controversial at times, but he was, he was funny all the way up, even up to the, to the, I heard a story, it was Larry Holmes said that when Larry Holmes beat Ali in the, it was one of, it wasn't even Ali's last fight because he lost to Trevor Burbick in his last fight, which a lot of people perhaps don't know about. And Trevor Burbick's famous for being knocked out by Tyson spectacularly, but he actually beat Ali. So Trevor Burbick wasn't a nobody.

Yeah, I could talk about, I've got to stop myself talking about boxing because I'll get into it. But I think a lot of boxing fans, especially the ones that perhaps don't, they're going for the hype, that perhaps don't understand, perhaps they don't realise, they've not kind of done a little bit, they've done a little bit, done no research. So at the time in 1986, I believed that Tyson knocked out Trevor Burbick, won the world title and Trevor Burbick was just embarrassing.

The fact is Mike Tyson won the world title from the holder of the world title. He won it from the world champion who was Trevor Burbick at the time, and he was a world champion for a reason. And he wasn't just, he hadn't just won it and then lost it, which he kind of did, but he had also fought some really good fights in the past, beating some big people, including Ali.

But Ali was, you know, that was his last fight, I think. It was only when I kind of got into the boxing on a different level, like, okay, let's just, let's forget what people say. Let's forget what people remember.

And let's even forget what, let's challenge what I remember. I can't speak today. Let's challenge what I remember, because I have these memories of boxing and I'm wrong.

It's weird because I was biased. So I remember watching a fight and thinking, in my memory now, for 20 years ago, that's how it went. Not the end result because, you know, that is what it is.

But almost that it was one way, one way traffic the whole way and one person dominated the whole fight. And then I watch it back and I see that that's not the case at all. And they say that with the time with Lennox Lewis, that he was boring.

I've not seen one of his fights that was boring. I've watched loads of them back. I watched him at the time as well.

They weren't boring. He just didn't move around a lot. You know, he just used to beat people up and knock them out.

He wasn't boring. He was boring out of the ring. That was the problem.

He wasn't all flashy and loud and bragging. He tried to do a few rhymes, but no one can do it like Ali. No one can beat him.

Ali was the best entertainer of any sportsman, woman that I know of. I might be wrong. So, and also people that aren't into boxing would probably have their other favourite sportsperson if they're into racing, tennis.

Some people would say McEnroe. Yeah, actually McEnroe. Wow.

As far as those that don't know who McEnroe is. And you might think, why am I saying that? Of course, everyone's going to know who McEnroe is. But when I read you my next message, you might think, rethink that one.

He was so funny, wasn't he? I was a kid. And he was a superstar. And it wasn't about his tennis.

Although it was. I mean, he was, he was a superstar tennis player. But he was, I used to watch him, not for his tennis.

I'll be honest. I wasn't really that much of a big fan of tennis until he came along. And then I kind of got into a bit because it was Connors.

And I did watch it with, it seems a shame I've forgotten his name, but he was the world record best for quite a long time. Who did McEnroe beat? I forget his name. And he is a massive star in tennis.

He's like a superhero in tennis. Like the Godfather. Male, just like Navarette Alova is for the female tennis people.

What's his name? I think he was in ABBA. Boris. Was it Boris? No, there was a Boris, wasn't there? Boris Yeltsin.

He was, he was, but he was, I think, in the 80s. So he came along and was the youngest Wimbledon or youngest champion. The thing is with tennis, I think every country who has a tournament, who has a, is it Grand Slam they call it? Or is that wrestling? But every country, they, I would say they class that as the main tournament in the tennis calendar.

Because in England, we definitely class Wimbledon as the top one. But I'm guessing in France, they class the French Wimbledon as being the top one as well. Or I think it's called Le Tennis.

And in America, I suppose the US Open, the US Open, is the biggest one from, you know, to America, they probably class that as the biggest one in the world. I wonder if everyone got together and they all kind of decided which is the most important one. Which is the oldest one? I'm guessing America wouldn't be the oldest one.

I'm guessing because it's quite a young country compared to England. Let's face it, I've got grandparents, great-grandparents. Let's have a look.

My man's grandparents were older than America. You know, if you think that's the only, how many generations I go back, just to be to equal America. I mean, I go back, we all go back to the beginning, don't we? We have to.

Otherwise, we wouldn't exist. We all must have, we all go back to the very, very beginning of existence, like of human existence. We can all be traced back to, I suppose, to a group of people, to two people, maybe one person, maybe a frog.

I don't know, I don't recall. But we all, so we're all connected. We all are related.

Really, if you think about it, because no one alive now could be alive if their, if the bloodline was cut, then there'd be no one there. There'd be no one to know about it. So we have to have come from somewhere, which means we all came, yeah, so we all go back to, we all kind of are related, except we're not.

So there'd probably be two people on each continent or in each country that's, yeah, so maybe there's like a thousand people around the world that aren't related to each other. I don't know. Perhaps I should have took more notice when I was at school, instead of just making stuff up when I got older.

Oh, I've got, I've got, I know people, right, that have, they actually, they get really emotional because they're told something from their parents. About something that happened, let's say in the 60s. One example would be, what was Cassius Clay at the time, fight, Ali, original, his original name, fighting under Cassius Clay, fighting, or he might be an Ali at that time, but he fought Henry Cooper, fought him twice.

And the first, I don't know if it's the first fight, but Henry Cooper knocked him down, knocked Ali on his bum. And it's all this controversy saying that Ali was on the floor for way longer than 10 seconds to the count. And then the, it went on for something like 12 minutes before the next round started because he was saved by the bell or I don't know, something like that.

Well, I've watched it and the corner man, Ali's corner man has admitted that he cut his, he cut his glove or the wrapping on his glove. So that had to be replaced to give him some time to recover. So he admitted to that in an interview, but I've watched it.

I've watched it in various different, you know, on YouTube and there was no 12 minutes. There's some people are, it was 12 minutes and really, they really get upset about it. And it wasn't 12 minutes, but they believe it because they heard someone else tell them.

And that's why I realized years ago that I'm not going to take what another person tells me to be true. I'm not going to just take it and accept it because we now can research. I'm not saying, I'm not going to go onto Wikipedia and take that for being true either because they get it wrong as well.

I've been on YouTube, especially when it comes to boxing sometimes, because I know more boxing. And sometimes they'll get it wrong. They'll get completely wrong information.

The newspapers do that as well. I've even sat and watched something on telly and the newspapers report the next day, something completely different to what happened live on television. Completely different.

So there was a situation with Julian Cleary at the Brit Awards, no, the Comedy Awards in the nineties, I think it was. And I won't say what he said, but he came back, he came on stage and he said, so I'm late or something. I've just been, and he made a joke about a politician that was there.

And the audience laughed. I mean, I watched it live because that's when they used to show it live. I don't think they, they don't, they don't have the program on anymore.

I don't think, but they used to. Jonathan Ross used to host it. So I watched it every year for years and years and years.

And the audience laugh, really laughed. It was like a long laugh. And I've also watched it back on YouTube since the last couple of years ago.

The next day, because it was on fairly early, like eight o'clock at night, the next day in a newspaper, Julian Cleary said an inappropriate joke. Nobody laughed. The audience looked disgusted.

And I mean, I was into comedy back in them days. I know that nobody would have been disgusted by that. I used to come out worse than that.

Not funnier, but worse. Julian Cleary's a funny comedian. It was brilliant.

I mean, I'd have given anything to be able to come up with something as funny as that back then. And, you know, the place was full of comedians. It was full of, um, promoters who are often way funnier than the comedians anyway.

It's just they don't want to get on stage because they'll make more money from being promoters. A comedian's agent will make more money than a comedian because they have lots of different comedians and they're getting, what, 20% of the person's earnings and they haven't got to do anything. They haven't got to go out on stage or go do a television show.

If you want to make money, be an agent or be a manager. Loads of money in there, especially if you can manage more than one act. If you only manage one act, then you're never going to make more money than the act.

But if you're managing 10, 15, 20 acts and I'm all making millions each. So that's the thing. If I was, that's why I want to be a vampire because I want to just, I want to live forever.

I'd like just, I'd like to do different things, but I'm not a half-hearted person. I like to, if I do something, I want to envelop myself completely into that thing. If that makes sense.

Just make sure this is still recording. The screen just went blank. It seems to go, on my phone, the screen just cuts out after a short time.

I don't know why. I mean, I can see the advantage of it going to the code, you know, so people can't just get into the phone and do what they want, but no one comes in there, especially not at the moment. I don't even let my friend in, just because we're not allowed to or we're not supposed to.

So I'm a law-abiding citizen, I would say. I try to be. And what was I talking about? Bloody phone, the phone distracted me.

I've got a few more messages to read out as well. Rihanna and Feather. I don't believe that's her real name.

Rihanna. Anyway, yeah, that's all I'm saying is, if someone tells me something, I like to research and check it out. A lot of the times people, and just being honest, they don't, it's not that they're trying to, I don't know if they're trying to sort of lie or, but people do exaggerate.

Oh man, a lot of people that I've met in my life have been proper exaggerators. I'd say millions of them. Millions of people that I've met.

Millions upon millions. I'd say 103% of the 14 million people I've met, I'd say they've all been exaggerators. They all exaggerate.

I remember when I was on the top of Mount Everest and if I was going to do something, I want to be a vampire. That's it. I want to be a vampire because I want to throw myself completely into whatever it is I do.

So if I was going to be a comedy manager or agent, I'd want to be doing it properly, you know, go around all the comedy clubs. That's when we're allowed to have comedy clubs again. And just, I kind of know what to do.

I've seen, I've been in the environment. My friend had a comedy agency, so he managed comedians, including Jimmy Carr actually, when he first started. Not when he first started, but when he first sort of became famous and stuff.

Well, yeah, when he first started, I guess. And I'd like to, I'd like to, you know, do something like that. I think it'd be brilliant.

I probably could have done actually. Thinking about it, I possibly could have wangled my way into the business. If I had just sort of said, let me, can I be involved? I don't know if I'd be allowed, but I don't know.

But yeah, I think it'd be quite interesting, but I'd like to be a singer as well, but then I'd have to be able to sing, or other things. An actor. Yeah, I think I'd like to do these things, but just, you know, put everything into it and then do that for maybe 30, 40 years and then go on and do something else.

Because I'm a vampire, I can, you know, just do other things because I'll be alive forever and ever and ever and ever. Or, well, maybe not alive, but you know what I mean. So yeah, so as far as the boxing, oh great, he's talking about boxing again.

Yes, I am. With the heavyweights, every single, okay, not every single heavyweight champion has been great. Not every, not every world champion is great.

I'm sorry to break it, but it's true. It's not, they're not always, they're, you know, they're way better than, they're the top of the pile at that time, perhaps. But I mean, an example of that would be when Anthony Joshua won the world title.

The person he won the world title against was just awful, really awful. He got punched three times by Anthony Joshua, three separate times, and he went down three separate times and the fight was stopped. He was, I don't even see them fight outside of that and he's still, he's a heavyweight, he's quite, he is a good boxer, but he's not a world champion and he never will be, not now.

The only reason he won the world title is because the person he was fighting twisted his knee during the fight, and his opponent did, and he was ahead on the points. He might have won the fight anyway, I don't know, but he didn't win it in a normal way. Not many people want to win a world title or win, you know, a big sporting prize because their opponent twisted their knee.

That doesn't happen very often. It's happened a few times, it's happened, I think it's, I'm sure it happened a couple of times in boxing that I know of. I want boxing to return, I really do.

I miss it, I do. I know that it's not everyone's thing and, yeah, it's a big message for me. Fair enough, but I do, as far as sports goes, I can't see the point in motor racing.

I do quite like the sound. I can see how the, that power, the power of the engine and to be in that environment, I reckon it must be quite cool to be in a, in a beautiful country, you know, watching it, not somewhere where it's raining and stuff, but somewhere it's a beautiful day, loads of people, which isn't really my thing, but it might be a nice atmosphere, that's what I'm thinking. And then watching these cars go past way faster than you'll ever see in real life normally, which again isn't really my thing, but I suppose it might be exciting.

It might be adrenaline stimulating. I don't really, my adrenaline doesn't, I'll be honest, since I was having, I used to have like panic attacks, proper full on for about two years in the past. Still have them occasionally, but I used to think that that was like my adrenaline was just kicking off, like kickstarting and sort of almost moved away from adrenaline stuff.

So I'm no longer skydiving, so I don't do that anymore. Standing on top of planes, don't do that either. Who would think about doing that? Standing, even though you're attached to a bit of metal or wood or whatever, who would think, you know what, I know what I want to do.

I'm a bit bored today, what should we do? Do you reckon you could attach a little stand to the top of your plane, so I can stand up in almost like a leg brace, I could just stand up while you fly. Yeah, that's a good idea. Are you always full of such good ideas? I know.

So I think, yeah, I want boxing back. Football, I don't know what, I think for me, it's, I think for football, you need to be there. You know, I know some people can't get out and there, there's gonna be some people that are disabled physically, they can't get to the football match and they watch it on TV, but they probably have been to football matches.

And some people that watch football when their team is away on telly, but they'll watch it when they're at home. And there's millions of football fans that go to the football matches every week. So when they're watching it on telly, there's also a bunch of people, I don't know how many, probably millions as well, that gamble, that put money on their team.

So it adds to the excitement of, you know, winning, I guess. So I don't do that. I don't gamble on the boxing either.

Although I probably should, because I'm quite a good predictor at times. But minds based, it's, do you know if you read through some people that like with horse races and dogs, there's a thing called the racing post and you look through the form, which is basically all the past performances of that particular dog or horse. Well, I know what the form is of the boxes because I watched them year in year out.

I watch all their fights as much as possible. So I know the form of a boxer. And I mean, I was quite cocky.

I had a lady round in September. She's a friend of mine. We were just watching a boxing and I predicted every single outcome for every fight.

She said, you're right. How did you know they were going to hit each other and punch each other? I said, told you they're going to punch each other. She's very impressed.

Very impressed. It's even got to the point where I want football back. I don't even watch football.

I just want it back. I want football. I want tennis.

I want the Olympics. I don't know what month the Olympics is normally in. Is it July or August? I want the Olympics.

It's not going to be an Olympics this year. I want to watch the boxing. I love because it's the future stars, you know, the Olympics.

It might seem like I'm just talking about boxing, but you know, or sports. But you know what? I love boxing. There's very few things that I really, really love.

I can't talk about all of them. But boxing is one of the things that I absolutely... It's my favorite. It is my favorite sport, even above martial arts.

And you know, I love martial arts. I don't, I can't really do it anymore, but I used to. And what I'm still thinking, perhaps I should put myself through the pain threshold to get a black belt in karate or something like that.

Just push myself, just so I can get the black belt, something I always wanted. But I always wanted it. I never really pushed myself to get it.

I've got halfway there twice with two different things. Karate and Taekwondo. Well, I think maybe halfway, probably one third of the way, maybe.

I don't know. But I could have got a black belt. I mean, both times.

I just, you know, I'd have had a black belt. I would. If I had continued when I was a kid, I could have had a black belt by the time I was 16, I think.

But I'm not sure if you was allowed to take the black belt until you were 18. That might have been the rules back then. Because they didn't have kids, didn't have black belt kids back then.

That didn't happen until, well, I don't know, not with that organization anyway. But I would have been blue, brown. So I was green at 15.

Blue, brown, black. Yeah, I'd have been a black belt by the time I was probably 17. If I'd have continued.

Or maybe if I had to wait till 18, then I would have done it when I was 18. But I'd have got the black. I'd have passed.

And I was very fit back then. Most people are though, aren't they, when they're 16? Physically. Although, if I'm honest, I really am.

But if I was honest, I didn't like the stretching. I didn't. I wasn't very tall, never have been.

So, you know, I can kick head height. But for me, head height is someone else's belly button. So it's not really, you know, because I'm only like four foot two.

So it looks impressive if I'm standing on my own. Just like Tom Cruise would look impressive. He was like shadowboxing and kicking.

If he was just standing there on his own doing that. But if he stood next to a human, you could see that he's only up to their knees. Because Tom Cruise is less than three foot tall.

And I think it's brilliant. He's got a lovely smile, hasn't he? Tom Cruise. And Matt Dillon, I've just seen him on a film.

That man don't age. What's wrong with him? They should, they should, well not pickle him, because that'd be the wrong thing to say. They should study him.

Matt Dillon, he has got the genetics. I'm not even gay, but I love him. I fancy him.

I'm not gay. But he to me is just, I don't fancy him. But he's a beautiful man.

But he's been around since I was a kid. And he's been an adult since I was a kid. And I searched to see how old he was.

Because he don't look any older than he did 20 years ago. And he's 56 or 54, 56, something like that. I think he's 50, he might be 54.

I think he was born in 1956. No, 50, I think he's 56. So he's not actually that much older than me.

Because it makes sense, because I was watching him probably when I was about 14. So he would have been about 20. So it kind of makes sense.

You know, sometimes I think that people are older than me when they're not, just because I've seen them on television. And like, for example, Take That, for example. You might not know who Take That is, but they're a very famous gay group in the UK.

They, sort of, being gay used to be illegal here until about 94. And then Take That, they basically changed the whole thing. They started a whole movement, Take That.

It was, that's what it meant, Take That. We're here, we're here to stay. And we're gay.

That was their motto. And they, they basically changed the whole law in the UK. It was amazing.

It was back in the 90s. Because they came out, excuse the pun, in 93, was it? 92? 90? I don't know, early 90s. And one of their last songs together, like, and then they came back again, was How Deep Is Your Love? For some people, they'd gone too far with that one.

But it was, they changed society completely. It got to the point where, but it went a different direction, where it became compulsory to be gay. And so there was a point where straight people had to hide, heterosexual people had to hide themselves and go into the closet.

And it was very, it was weird times, just weird for people that used to be able to, you know, kiss girls, men, men and women, you had to kiss each other, they couldn't do it in public anymore. To hide. And they used to have these parties where they could get together.

They called them, they introduced them, called them nightclubs. That's what they, nightclubs didn't use to exist until then. But what they pretended it was, was a club celebrating the night.

And they made out that they were like a religious group. And it was, you know, everyone went there. They said, we're just celebrating the night.

And we're going to just be meditating and talking about the various different night animals like moths and owls and wolves and elephants and stuff. And they used to eat pickles. They used to have like, they used to take jars of pickles with them.

That was, that was something that they were famous for. However, when they closed the doors, it turned into a big disco. Because it used to be called discos back then, but then it changed to the word nightclub.

But it wasn't changed to the word nightclub until it was discovered what it was. Because before then, they thought night, the nightclub was celebrating the night. So yeah, so take that.

It changed a lot of things, but then it kind of, it went in a completely different direction. And even, even then Robbie, Robbie Williams came out and said, look, I like both. I like men and women.

And he might not have said that, I'm not sure. And then, and then, you know, someone said, oh, perhaps we should change the law then. And I think, yeah, and then East 17th, they said, no, we like women.

And he, and because they were a different band, and they were kind of opposition, as far as bands go, they were their competition, East 17. So we like, we like girls. And take that said, we like boys.

And they had a, they had a music fight. So basically, the, it wasn't like fighting, but it was a music. And that is big, like, you know, competition with music and take that went first.

And a lot of people there were kind of on take that side, because it was, this was televised live all around the world from the moon. In fact, they actually, they all went to the moon and did it there. And Michael Jackson gave his permission for them to do the moonwalk, because he owned the rights, even though he'd never actually been to the moon.

See, no one realized that. How can you own the rights to something that you've never actually really done? Anyway, he, they went on take that did a song. Everyone just loved it.

You know, it's like, oh, they're easily going to win this. But then East 17 came along. And they did even better.

And take that's like, oh, wow. Because you know, the whole thing was whoever wins, that's what society is going to be. So if, if take that wins, we'll stay as being a gay society and heterosexual straight people won't be able to be allowed to do that anymore.

It'd be illegal. But then if East 17 win, it won't go back to just being like it was, it won't go back to being, go back to everybody can sort of do what they want. Because East 17 said, look, we're from London.

We're multicultural. We've got people from all over the world, and from all kinds of sexualities and stuff. And we want to be open.

We don't want any of this small mindedness that you have in that little village that you come from, take that. And I remember take that said, yeah, we don't come from a village. And suddenly, one of the village people jumped up and said, YMCA.

And take that said, just go away. Not now. Because that was going to be their little finale with the village people.

Anyway, kind of spoiled that little surprise, didn't it? And East 17 did their song, and it was really good. And then take that for, oh, and East 17 thought, we're doing well. And take that for, I'm not really sure how this is going to go.

So they did another song. They did some dancing. And during one of the dances, one of the members of take that whispered in Gary Barlow's ear, he said, that girl in the audience is nice, isn't she? The microphone picked it up.

The whole world heard him mention that he liked girls, and he's supposed to be gay. And it's like, what? And it caused such a kerfuffle. And then they got, basically, the score point went down, because it got everyone's confused.

There was a little pillow fight went on. It was actually quite nice to watch. Sometimes pillow fights are nice, because the pillow feathers were going everywhere.

The thing is, they didn't. It wasn't proper, because they were hitting each other with the pillows. But the pillow covers were too tough.

So they actually had to get big bags of pillow feathers, someone like the staff, the camera crew, and they just kind of just chucked it in. So it looked like the pillows were breaking, but they weren't. But that's a secret.

It's a behind the scenes kind of secret that you shouldn't even know about, but I've told you now. It was the very first special effect that was ever done. It was like an accidental special effect.

And after that, they thought, you know what? Maybe we could start doing space movies. Imagine special effects. We could make movies where we show people in spacecrafts going into space.

And Gary, well, the other one, E17, all said at the same time, but we're in space. We're on the moon. You don't need special effects for that.

And then someone, a little voice said, no, you're not. You're in a recording studio. It's a TV studio in Manchester.

Did you really think you was in the moon? Yeah, we did. Oh, okay. Anyway, it turned out that it was a draw.

It was a draw and they didn't know what they were going to do. And it's like, oh, we don't know what to do. It's a draw.

And then Michael Jackson pops up and says, why doesn't everyone just do what they want? Or why doesn't everybody just do what they want? And they all decided to just live and let live. Of course, they didn't really knew, they didn't really realize what they were doing, but they said, okay. And then the whole world became happy again.

And then the word gay became gay, which meant happy. It went back to its original meaning because people no longer labeled, you know, the labels were gone and they weren't just accepted for who they were. The end.

So yeah, that's what happened there. The hell was that about? Oh, so I got you two balls. So let me see what other messages I've got.

Right. I lost my messages. Let's see.

Oh, Rihanna sent me a message with a picture of seven ferrets playing. This is on TikTok. So that was funny.

And she sent one today earlier says, I'm still not sleeping, going to stick a podcast on. And I got a message from Linda. Let me bore you to sleep.

Number 409 was one of your best ever. Good thing I'm listening to relax and not sleep. I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.

Thanks, Jason. LOL, which is either laugh out loud or lots of love. My dad does that.

He doesn't know that LOL means laugh out loud. Seriously, he sent me a message. So, sorry to let you know, just let you know that your nan's funeral's next Wednesday at 3.30. LOL.

It's like, okay, dad, you really should get your head around the idea that LOL doesn't mean lots of love anymore. Another one from Rachel. I don't know if I read this out.

I think I did it yesterday when I tried to make a recording or earlier this morning. Jason, this is from Rachel. Jason, I've just had the weirdest dream.

Ondrej got into my house. How would that happen? Maybe the scratching at the door led to my house. Next thing he was chasing me and bitting me, biting me.

I was wondering what on earth I was going to do to stop him. Them teeth hurt. Then you appeared as if from nowhere and rescued me.

The end. Well, first of all, Rachel, I should let you know, I'd never rescue you. He wouldn't hurt you.

You're his uncle, Rachel. He loves you. He would never hurt you.

He doesn't bite people. He only bites one person. That's my friend, his uncle, that he's known from being a baby.

And he's always let him bite him. In fact, he encouraged him because he had a ferret of his own and he used to let him bite him. I don't let him bite me.

And occasionally, but, you know, just like playing around and that. Sometimes he gets a little bit bossy, which I don't like, but it's rare. But he wouldn't bite you.

The most thing he'd do is he would, he's got a few places to go for. With women, it's different places as well. But generally for everyone, it's feet.

He loves feet. Just loves feet. I don't know why.

I don't get it. And I think it's specific to him. I don't think it's necessarily a ferret thing.

It's just him. He loves feet. And the other thing is, if you had a purse or a handbag or any kind of bag, he loves bags.

He loves getting into bags. That's his all time favourite thing. So if you were sitting there with your feet out, with a bag next to you, and he'd not met you before, he'd probably, he might go to the bag first.

But he might come to me first, because he's a little baby sometimes, which I find quite funny. But he would never bite you, honestly. He's never bitten anyone.

Not really. He bites dogs. But again, that's just for fun.

He's just playing. He doesn't mean it horribly. Jen left a message.

Hi, Jason. Very cute pic of Andre tonight. Will you be doing another whisper podcast tonight at all? Have a good night.

It's a lot of nights there, isn't it? And she sent a picture of a little ferret. It's definitely a girl and the ferret. The problem I've got with doing the whisper sessions is finding a time when it's quiet.

And I've been struggling with that a little bit because now it's summer. The birds are whistling and singing all day. You know, pretty much there's a, maybe a four-hour slot when they're not singing in the trees, which is fine.

I love the birds singing, but not everybody does. And then trying to, you know, there's people in this flat slam the front doors. And there's nothing I can do about that.

But it does, it's not ideal for making recordings. Especially not the sleep ones. And even doing these recordings, I've noticed more and more I'm having to edit because cars starting or a motorbike driving around or, you know, it's, you know, it is what it is.

But I'd like to do a sleep whisper every day. I do intend to. Eventually, when I get some lights for the shed, I make the shed a bit more comfortable, a bit more user-friendly.

There's some things I need to do to get it there. I know what it is. And I'm still waiting for some of the soundproof stuff to come, unless I've had it all, unless I've had two lots stolen.

And I didn't get anything stolen that I was given that people have paid for. But I've paid, so I know I had £55 worth taken. Maybe I had another one as well.

Maybe they both came together. But yeah, I've got a few thieves living around here, but they're everywhere, aren't they? Unfortunately, they exist. And other messages.

Where was it? No, I haven't. Oh, I've had a few messages for my picture of Andre. I posted, he's on my bed.

I think this was yesterday. I'm waiting for you to take me for a walk. And he's just staring at me.

And I was in bed and he was in bed. So I thought he was on my bed. So Oliver says, look at his little face.

Look at his little face, Rihanna. Jen Jewels ferret. And with a little ferret thing.

Moving ferret. Very psychedelic ferret. And Georgie says, I could look at his little face forever.

Yeah, he's cute. He is. Can't, can't deny that.

He's very, very cute. So see what other messages I've got. And then I will go into my other page.

Let's go to the inbox in my Jason Newland hypnotist message. I've got a message from Kerry. Did I read this out? Okay, I've already read that one out.

So hi, Kerry. Anyway, I read the one out from Brad. So yeah, that's all good.

So let's go back and read out if anyone's still listening. Read out the one from Paul. I've read that one out.

And lastly, one I got this morning. This says name feather. Body and not body.

This is the, the, the text, the headline. And there is no headline. Oh, no, it's a message.

No, it's not a review. It's a message on the website. Because I got name, email, phone, body and stuff.

And so maybe try and try not to read out stuff in brackets, which is what I just read out. So I'm gonna Hi, Jason. My name is not feather.

Well, that's a good start, isn't it? Lie to me right from the start. But as I know, you might be reading this out. Yep, I read everything out.

I won't give my real name. Yes, I'm thinking that you don't have to give maybe I shouldn't read out people's names. I don't know.

I've not really given it much thought. It's because I live in a place that most no one that lives near me is going to know who I am or why do you know, I'm just a weird man with a ferret. That's pretty it's all people really sort of know me for.

They don't know that I'm doing this stuff. So the chances are that no one's going to know who you are either. Like they're not going to connect you to me.

That makes sense. But I won't read out a name anyway. So Hi, Jason.

My name is not feather. But as I know, you might be reading this out. I won't give my real name.

I won't read it out, don't worry. I'm quite a young listener under the age of let's say 14, which says under the age of let's say, dot dot dot 14. So maybe try keep it clean.

Bollocks. I'm not gonna keep it clean. No, shouldn't be listening.

This is for adults only tough. And I find your podcast amazing. Thank you.

I appreciate that. It's very kind of you. I don't know how this works.

So I hope it will reach you. Hope everything is doing okay for you and Andre. I don't know how to spell his name.

Thanks for reading. Bye. So that's very kind of you.

Not feather. So Andre is spelled A N D R E. But it doesn't matter how you spell it. You can spell it E Y. You can spell it.

You can spell it P O O. It doesn't matter really. But I don't care. I know who you're talking about.

So it's fine. When I, I don't even spell it correctly because I spell it A N D R E. But it should have, what's that thing above the R? Is it apostrophe or something? It should have one of those above the R. But I don't know how to do that. Because he's named after Andre.

One of my friends from the past. One of my best friends from the past. And who's no longer with us.

So I only discovered that he was, you know, I basically, I got Andre and I thought, I'll name him after him as a kind of a, I don't know, tribute. Is that the right word? Just seemed like a nice thing to do. And it's someone that I really cared for.

So yeah, I just, he kind of, I think what it was, and it's going to sound weird because what happened to the original Andre, the sort of was a bit grim. Sort of the ending wasn't, it was, you know, he's not alive anymore. It was a little bit sad.

Well, a lot sad. So now I've got Andre's name connected to positivity, complete positive feelings when I've got that name. So if I hear the word name Andre, I've got Andre, but I've also got the other Andre.

And I think positively about both. I don't know if that makes sense, but to me, it makes sense. There's a positive energy around his name.

So it's, yeah, it's just one of those things because names can be important, can't they? They can seem, perhaps seem a bit more important than they need to be, but they, it's like, I don't think I could ever date anyone that had the same name as my mother. Although it sounds weird, you know, the idea of it, I just don't think I could. Just, I couldn't date anyone that had the same name as my dad either.

I'd be, yeah, I imagine dating someone called dad. That'd be weird, wouldn't it? Do you take dad to be awful, wild-willed wife? Dad? And that could get confusing. So, yeah, so I don't understand why, I mean, everybody's welcome to listen, although this isn't, I don't know if this is a child-friendly, I know that someone in the teens wouldn't class themselves as being a child, I know I didn't, but, you know, legally they are, but I just, I don't know, it's kind of, I've had about four or five young people contact me, only this is, you're the second person that's contacted me with a message.

I read out the other one as well, and I've also had, I think, three or four people, adults, that have contacted me saying, our child listens to you as well. And I do wonder a little bit, like, well, I do, sometimes I'm a little bit, I might say the odd rude thing, but I don't swear much though, do I? Have you noticed that?

I try not to, I mean, I don't want to piss people off, you know, by saying things like shit and stuff like that, I just don't want to, I don't want to, I don't, I don't, I'm not really, I swear more when I'm around people that swear, or when I'm angry, if I'm having a little tantrum, yeah, I swear, but I think most people probably do, or they, even people that don't use really horrible words, will use words that they class as horrible. So someone might, like, they might catch their finger in a door and they'll be going, damn, damn, goodness gracious, and, you know, flip, oh, you were such a twit.

But for them, that's like horrible, harsh words. It doesn't matter what the words are used, it's the emotion behind it, as far as I'm concerned. It's, you know, if you call someone a teapot, or you call someone a bookcase, if you mean it horribly, then it's a horrible word, you know, in a, you know, why would you call someone a bookcase, but, you know, possibly.

Maybe I appeal to younger people, because that's kind of my intellectual level is probably about five. I'm not really, yeah, I've not, my brain's not really grown, I don't think, since I was five years old. So, which is weird, because I'm 105 now.

Wow. Imagine if I reach maturity by the time I'm about 78, I reckon. By the time I'm in my 70s, I might be a half, I might be a decent person.

I might actually be an adult. Wow. Can you imagine it? How boring would life be? No one would want to listen to me then, would they? Nobody wants to listen to you now.

Did you hear Andre say that? It's very rude. Andre with a, what is it, a dot or an apostrophe above the R. But I don't recognise stuff like that, because that is not a French way of saying Andre. Because I think Andre might be a French name.

Andre, there's not many Andres that I really have never heard of, but there's Andre Agassi, obviously tennis player. He used to have lovely hair, now he's a baldy. And then there is Andre Ward, pound for pound one of the best, best boxers of all time.

Well, of my generation anyway. And Andre Dooley, who's my friend. So that's why Andre is called Andre Dooley Newland.

So he's got Andre's full name. Although Andre might have had a middle name, I don't know. And so he's called Andre Dooley Newland.

And so he's actually got more names from Andre than he has from me. What other things? He, Andre the Giant. Remember Andre the Giant? He was around, he was around, he was tall as well.

He was big, big. He was a giant, let's face it. And Andre, Andre, Andre.

I can't think of any other Andres. Oh, Dre, Dr. Dre. He was Andre, wasn't he? Well, he is Andre, but he's Dr. Dre.

So yeah, so he's probably one of the most famous Andres in the world, isn't he? Dr. Dre. Can't think of anyone else. But I think that's about it really.

This is a weird thing to make these recordings during the day. So normally do them in the evening or like late, you know, usually after midnight. Although technically this is after midnight, isn't it? If it's 2.30 in the afternoon, and luckily there's been no like major background sounds, so that's good.

A lot of noise earlier when I was trying to sleep. I think the people downstairs are moving in, because there's a lot of door slamming. I was going to have a little moan then, but I won't, I won't moan, I won't moan.

So yeah, as far as people listening to these recordings, they're not, you know, they're not like explicit, they're not 18, they're not like adult rated or anything. But I don't, they're, you know, it's kind of, they're not aimed at, they weren't aimed at any particular age group. They were, you know, when I first started doing them.

But I'm not going to change what I do to suit, unless I did a sort of a separate recording for younger people. Which I did think about, because my friend's boy listens, and I thought I actually maybe, I actually spoke to him with his mum was there, she was on Skype, and I talked to her. And then I said to him, because he wanted to say hello to me, I said, I could perhaps do a recording for younger people.

But I did, I think I did a special hello recording for him. But one of my, I sort of, I'm sure I did one where I said hello to him in the title or something. I don't know, it's a lot of work.

I want to say a lot of work. I don't mean, you know, I do love what I do. And most of the time, and passionate about it.

And I want to keep doing it. And it's not just about these recordings, as a lot of you would know, it's the other stuff I do, hypnosis stuff. It's just to sort of take on another podcast is when I'm not, I need to get to the point where I'm making at least one recording on each podcast.

So I need to at the very, very, very minimum, make three recordings a day, before I start looking at doing anything new. And those three recordings, it needs to be every single day without fail. And what I say every single day, I can do some and keep them as a back catalogue.

And then on days, I'm not well enough to make recordings, I can just release them, which is something that I'm looking to do. So I sort of have maybe a few deep sleep whisper ones. And it was seen a bit weird doing that for the Let Me Boy To Sleep, because I like to do these on the day, because I talk about perhaps what's going on.

And I like it to be fresh, rather than just to, well, I suppose I could do a few recordings based upon books that I'm looking at, or silly things that I'm sort of observing. So I might maybe put a few, you know, just in the vault for future. So that if I'm unable to do any recordings on that day, I can just release those ones.

Yeah, that would make sense. I'm just talking to myself now. Nothing new there, said Andre.

Thank you, Andre. There's a couple of ideas I want to do. I would like to get a puppet and to do like a little puppet show.

And also maybe do a magic, do some magic on here as well. So maybe some card magic or something like that. So I'm looking into doing just for this, just for entertainment, you know, just to have a laugh.

So, yeah, so I'm going to go. I wish you all well. And keep the messages coming.

Any messages I get, I will read them out. And if you don't want me to say your name, I won't say your name. I realise, I mean, I don't think about things like that.

Perhaps I should. Yeah, I'm not saying people's names purposely to annoy them. I generally don't.

I just don't really sort of give it a thought. I think part of the reason is that, because of that, is because I'm on here being basically naked in a sense, you know, sort of everyone knows my name. Everyone knows way more about me than I'm ever going to know about you.

Even though a lot of stuff I say is just made up. But it's, yeah, so I'm not sort of purposely saying people's names to annoy them. But I will read out messages.

I read out the nice ones and the nasty ones as well, as you may be aware. But I don't get many nasty ones. It's usually nice ones.

But, you know, I just, that's what I do. So if you've got messages for me, you can just leave a message on my website. I'm sure I had a review.

I'm sure I had a review on my website. Let me have a look. I'm not sure if I read it out to you.

Yeah, I had a message from Annie. And I don't think I read it out. If I have, then I'm going to read it out again.

It says, thank you. This was sent on yesterday. It was sent yesterday.

It's a review on my website. I'm a sufferer of PTSD and that have had to take medication to help me sleep for years. However, since discovering the Let Me Bore You To Sleep last September, I've gradually come off my sleeping medication.

So keep up the good work and give Andre a, a what? Give him a kiss from me. It says give him a CWTH and kiss. I don't know what a CWTH, give Andre a quitch and a kiss.

A quitch, quitch, nipple twist. I don't know. A quitch, CWTH.

Anyway, I will give a big kiss from you, Annie. Thank you very much for your lovely message. And I appreciate you letting me know how you're getting on.

And I appreciate that I'm able to help genuinely. And I know that I mess around a lot, but I am here to, I am here to help. It's just, I don't think maybe it's not everybody that listens to this, perhaps when they first hear it, will kind of think, well, how's this going to help? Because even if it doesn't, it's not just about the sleep.

It's about the distraction. It's about maybe the relaxation, the calmness, the having a bit of a laugh, having a giggle, having, you know, just not taking, taking things less seriously. And hearing a familiar voice, hopefully a friendly voice.

And it, I don't know. There's, because behind what I do, there's a positivity. Not everything I say is going to be positive because I'm a human and I'm grumpy sometimes, but I try to keep it light.

And I'm trying to sort of get more in touch with positivity myself. And this, as well as the other stuff I do, I'm doing it to help. And if I felt it wasn't, then I'd stop.

So all I can go on is I do get some messages and please send messages. I'll read them out. Even if it's just a message to say, happy birthday, granny, or you just, I don't know.

You could just, you just farted and you thought you'd let me know. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. And I'll read it out.

And, or if it's a newspaper clip that you think's funny, send me the link and I'll have a look at it. And you could do that. And just send that in a message to me on my website.

So yeah, it's jasonnewland.com. But that's it. I've run out of words now. So thank you for listening.

Remember, remember to be kind to yourself. Because you deserve, you deserve to be happy. Lots of love.

Bye.