#402 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (18h May 2020)

Hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can.

Safely close your eyes. So I'm actually recording this in the daytime, well it's late afternoon, which is very unusual for me. So there may be some background sounds.

There isn't at the moment. There might be, you never know when somebody's going to start talking in the garden or something like that. And it's a very beautiful summer's day out there.

I've not been outside yet. So, you know I thought, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to make a recording. So here we are.

So I hope you're all well. And I thought I'd read some diary entries from my past. I suppose I can't do them from the future, can I? But I thought I'd just do that.

I've got some old diaries and I thought I'd just read them, read a few little bits out, just a while away the next hour. And you can just whittle off to sleep if you choose. And I suppose the very least with these recordings, the very least is it's a distraction from maybe your own mind, your own chitter chatter, if that's what's going on.

Yet before we continue, I think it'd be lovely to thank your mind for being able to be active and to be able to think. Because it's an amazing thing, even if it is sometimes, you know, at the wrong time. But it's great that we have brains and that we can be mentally active because it's a gift, you know.

So I think we should... I'm going to do it as well. Not really, I'm going to let you do it and I'm going to pretend to do it. No, I am.

I'm going to do it all. I'm going to say thank you. So I want to thank my brain.

So maybe you can say the same words or you don't have to do anything, it's up to you. But I want to thank my brain for all that you do, which includes keeping me alive. That's no little thing, is it? So I'd like to thank my brain for everything you do, including keeping me alive and allowing me to sleep peacefully.

I'd like to thank you for allowing my mind to slow down when it's time for me to go to sleep. So when I lay down in bed, thank you for allowing my mind to slow down. And please, can you allow my mind to slow down even more? Thank you.

And I love you. Because without you, my brain, without my brain, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be able to do anything.

I wouldn't be able to breathe. I wouldn't be able to have a heart. My heart wouldn't beat.

Nothing would happen. So my brain is very important. In fact, you could say I'm rather attached and very dependent.

Now, I don't expect you to say all of those words because that's a lot, but I don't expect you to say any of them. It's up to you. I thought it'd be quite nice to have a little bit of... See, that's not even positivity.

That's reality, I think, in my mind. That's actually everything I said there is true. We need our brains.

The brain seems to... It's almost like it's oxygen. It's the air. We can't see the air.

So we just take it for granted. And just, you know, we don't say thank you for every breath, do we? Which would be nice now and then, I suppose, would be a bit tedious. Thank you.

Especially if you're in the middle of a conversation with someone. Thank you for that breath. So yeah.

Do you take this bride, this woman to be your husband? Thank you very much for that breath. And do you, husband, take this bride to be your husband? Thank you very much for that breath. And, you know, yes, it would be a little bit tedious, but I think maybe our brain, we just... Because it's there.

It's always been there. We can't see it. I mean, other people can see it in certain situations, but we can't see our own brain.

Yeah, we depend on it completely. Yeah, we sort of make out, no, it's my heart. It's my lungs.

Without your brain, none of that stuff works. The only way to keep people alive in hospital is on ventilators, literally pumping the air in and doing all that stuff. When the brain stops working, that's it.

So the brain is everything. So yeah, I think it'd be nice to say thank you. To our brains, but also ask.

You can ask stuff, you know. You know, this whole thing about, you know, ask the universe or pray and stuff like that. Different sort of ways of asking for what you want from different places, the invisible places that may or may not exist, you know.

You know that your brain exists and your brain can give you what you need. And I'm not talking about getting rich. I'm talking about feelings and healing and sleeping and recovering from injury.

I mean, the healing things happens on its own. Our bodies heal naturally because of the brain. And I realized that this is the completely wrong recording to be talking about this.

So I'll stop. But, you know, I know I mess around and I joke around and stuff with these sleep sessions, but one way to get some sleep is actually to ask your brain. Just say thank you to your brain.

Say, will you please, can you allow my mind to slow down? When I lay down and my head touches the pillow, please can you allow my mind to slow down and allow me to just drift to sleep? And I've got this thing, you know, I know with hypnosis, especially like old style, it's like you tell, you kind of command what you want. I like the gentle, the gentle way of doing things. I'd rather treat my brain the way I would a a waitress in a restaurant or a nurse or a doctor.

You know, someone who's helping you, someone who's doing something for you, be nice to them. Oh, please, please, can you help me? But nicely rather than help me do this now or just commanding, like you're talking to a child. Well, we're the children.

The brain is the adult. In this scenario, the brain is the clever one compared to us because the brain is us. Without us, without the brain, there is no us.

So I like the idea of just being gentle and saying, just ask and say these words to yourself internally. And actually, in the same way that someone may do prayer, but you're asking your brain. And this is a direct communication with something that physically is provable.

It's physically there. You know, there's a brain in your head. You know, there's no question about that.

So it doesn't take a lot of faith to have faith in something that you know, 1000 million percent exists and does have control over everything that happens in our body. It controls pain levels, relaxation levels, ability to sleep, digestion, appetite, all that stuff. You know, it's a very highly, it's an amazing, amazing, I don't use the word machine, but you know, so you know, just I get a few people now and then say to me, I like listening to you, but you know, you're too interesting, which sounds like a joke.

But well, I do do other sleep sessions. I mean, my intention when I started doing these recordings was to help people to get to sleep. They've evolved or devolved, I don't know the right word is into something.

I don't know what they are now, but it's different to what they were supposed to be when I first started. And, but they're also more popular than they were, all my recordings are. So yeah, so when it comes to sleeping, maybe 401 recordings I've done on this, you know, getting into sleep, and that's what you really need.

I would suggest my sleep podcasts, where the deep sleep ones, weekly sleep, hypnosis, long relaxation sessions as well. They're really good for falling asleep. And they're on the relaxation for stress and anxiety podcast.

So there's different ways to get the same result. That's kind of what I'm saying. If I don't, I don't like the idea that if someone's listening to me, and they're not being able to get to sleep, if that's the sole reason that they're listening.

Because this is a sleep podcast. However, I know from lots of correspondence that this, that's not the main reason a lot of people listen. It can be company, it can be friendly voice.

It's kind of a regularity. So I do the most days. And I suppose having a constant, I'm constantly annoying, maybe.

You know, some people get different things out of these particular recordings. But you know, I do just want to let everyone know that there are other things that you can use that I do, which are very much focused on sleep. Bloody pigeon.

Damn pigeon. That's a problem with doing stuff during the day. There's no way of knowing what, what, what noises and sounds are going to kind of pop up.

People slamming doors, you know, cars driving past or parking, kids screaming in the street, you know, just general things. Dinosaurs chasing the kids screaming in the street. So, you know, it's a bit of a kind of bit of a potluck situation.

It's, I suppose like a blind date, I guess, really. I've been on a few blind dates. Yeah, I don't, I don't recommend them.

No, I remember years, years ago, back in 2000. Back in 2000. There was a whole thing about the, when the millennium came in, that it was going to be a virus.

Let's not talk about viruses. But you know, it's going to be like an electronic virus, which is going to melt the whole technological framework on which we all depend, you know. I think it was D-Day bug or something.

Anyway, it didn't happen. But what did happen is there used to be a chat line with a premium number. It wasn't expensive, but it was where people could talk to each other and date.

So it wasn't like an adult premium tape recorder or any kind of stuff like that. It was actually people talking to each other and leaving a little voice message of who they are and what they're looking for. So yeah, it was, it was quite cool.

Anyway, on New Year's Eve, 1999, going into 2000, the network, the phone network frazzled, which meant we could make free calls to premium numbers. Because back then, most people wouldn't pay as you go. It was very much more pay-as-you-go than contract.

It was very different back then. Well, you could pretty much go anywhere and get a pay-as-you-go card and scratch it off. And then you have to, I think you needed to type the number into the password on the scratch card into your phone.

You get 10 pound credit or whatever you paid for. So for about a week, maybe two weeks, there is, you could phone free. So I spent quite a lot of time on this chat line speaking to women and then getting their telephone numbers and then, you know, going from there.

And the hardest bit about it was getting to know someone on the phone and liking them, but then not knowing whether or not there'd be any physical chemistry. I don't mean, will she bring a chemistry set? I'm talking about, you know, whether, because there's more to it than just liking someone, isn't there? You've got to like how they smell, but not consciously like how they, he or she, but not even consciously. Because a lot of people wear perfume.

It's not that. It's how the person smells naturally that we pick up unconsciously that attracts us. So that's why I think when some people go on, they go, oh, I don't know why men looking at my young daughter, she's only 19, 20.

You shouldn't, you know what? Your daughter or your son, you know, either one, they're letting out hormones, smells that are being smelt by passersby who then react automatically and have no control over how they feel. They have control over how they behave, but they don't have any control over how they feel. So if that person's attracted to that young man or that young lady, it's not their fault.

It's nature doing its thing, nature. It's just, we can't smell it, but we can smell it. You know, it's, I don't have hormones anymore, so I'm all right.

So, you know, back then I was, what was I, 19, no, 29. And she, so I've met a few women on the phone, you know, talk to them on the phone. And the longer it went on, the harder it was to meet them.

And I met, how many did I meet? I met one, two, three, four, four, four that I can remember. One, which is the weirdest one, is I'd only spoken to on the phone a couple of times. And so I decided from then on, because the previous ones, I'm not going to have long conversations for weeks and weeks.

And from previous, but, you know, I said, okay, I went to meet her and she was way too young. So I just ran back to the train and hid. It's like, what on earth? And she sounded about 90 on the phone and she didn't tell me.

She said, you know, she was old. She lied about her age. So you think I'm not going to notice when I actually meet you.

So yeah, I kind of ran. And she came to the platform, she was like shouting, and I was literally hiding underneath the seat. It was very scary.

So I think that was the last time I ever, like that period, I ever met up with anyone apart from in 2004. But yeah, I met her in a pub, so I knew that was going to be safe. And, but I met, it was quite weird.

Three, one, two, three weird ones, not weird ones, but just three very strange situations. One who had been talking to for absolutely ages, I'm talking probably months, and eventually I went around her house or her flat after work. I finished work at what, two o'clock, 2.30. I went around there and it was nice.

And then I left and never saw her again. So I don't really know what happened there. And then another one, another later person, another one, another human, we've been talking for ages, really gone well.

It was just like really nice. And as all of them were kind of really nice conversations. And she invited me up to her place.

And I said, okay. And again, I think I went there after work again as well. Or maybe it was earlier, I don't know.

But I went around and she let me in and she was, she left the front door open to come in, which was a bit worrying. And it was dimly lit. And she was standing there and she had a rose between her teeth, which I thought was a bit weird.

And there was blood everywhere. It was like gums and bleeding from all the thorns. No, they weren't.

But she had a rose between her teeth and then she sort of handed it to me. She laid down on the bed, which was like a settee pullout thing in the living room. She hardly said a word to me.

And she said, I'll come back in a second. She said, keep yourself comfortable. So I did.

Pulled out my deck chair. Put this suntan lotion on. You know, just having a nice book to read.

Settled down in my sandals. A lot comfortable. And she said, she came back in and she was wearing her night clothes, nightgown or something.

And she laid down and said, are you coming in bed? And I said, okay. So I put down the book, drink a pop and binoculars. And I just, okay.

Took off my straw hat, my backpack, emptied the sand out of the socks. And so I get into the bed, which is a bed pullout bed thing. I get in beside her and she kisses me and she turns her back on me.

And she was laying there and I'm thinking, oh, so maybe I'll take my socks off. So I take my socks off and I'm talking to her. And I realized she's not replying.

And I look over and she's fast asleep. Fast asleep. I mean, completely.

I was like, what? Really? What was the point in that? She wasn't even going to talk to me. What was the point in me going around there? To go to sleep. I have a bed.

You know, I had somewhere to sleep. So I decided to stay there for the month. And we got married.

It was great. No, we didn't. And I laid there for hours thinking, she's joking around.

She's going to wake up in a minute. Nothing. And then about eight o'clock in the morning, bearing in mind, it's probably only about four hours later.

Four, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Yeah, four or five hours. I didn't sleep at all.

And she's still asleep. It's light outside. So I just get up, put my clothes on, pack up my deck chair and everything.

And I still look at her and say, are you joking me? Hello? Hello? And I didn't shake her. I didn't touch her. I didn't want to, you know, disturb her.

She really was asleep. I was like, come on, really? I just left. And I think I left a message saying, really? And I went home.

That was a real, this is such a pointless thing. And it's quite weird because I used to talk to her for hours on the phone. But when she was with me, I guess the chemistry wasn't there.

Or I just bought her into falling asleep. In fact, maybe that's what she did. She used me for on the phone because perhaps, I don't know, did she ever say anything? I just talk.

I don't offer that service now though. I'll phone someone up. Yes, now I'm going to talk to you and send you to sleep.

Listen to me, but let me podcast if you want that. But I didn't have a podcast back then. So yeah, that was a waste of time.

And then there's another, there's another one after this one as well. There's another one. And she, I really liked her.

I had to press pause then for a second. It sounded like someone's trying to break into the kitchen window. It's pigeons.

Seriously, pigeons are trying to get into the kitchen window. And the kitchen window's closed. So I don't know how that works.

I think it's because they live in the loft. I think they can just do what they want. As I said to them, you don't get to have your own key.

If you're not back by three in the afternoon, you're going to be locked out. And they said, do you realize that pigeons can't understand humans? I said, no, I didn't know that. He said, yeah.

So it doesn't, there's no point in you talking to us because we don't know what you're saying. I said, all this time I've been talking to you, you've got no idea what I'm saying. He said, yeah.

So this girl, this lady really got on well with her. Proper, proper. And she kept putting off me seeing her.

I really, really liked her. We got on so well. I even bought her a Valentine's present.

Now the pigeons are winding me up that side of the house, now in the back garden. Because it's like a wildlife program, this podcast, isn't it? Like you've got a ferret running around or you've got pigeons. What's next? I was getting myself an elephant.

Might as well move to a tropical rainforest. Nothing to do with the podcast. I just quite like the idea of, well, no, I don't know.

I saw the other day that due to the satellite technology now, they're discovering stuff from space that they didn't, they, whoever they are, didn't know about. They're discovering areas of land, areas of forest in various countries that they never knew about. One was a, it's on top of this rock, but rock's not the right word.

I mean, it's really high up bit of land, but it's like flat. So it's kind of like a mountain, but then flat. That makes it, but not, I don't know how to explain it, but it's thousands of kilometers of trees.

Like basically it's a rainforest within the rainforest, but they didn't know about it until they discovered it on, I suppose you don't know anything about things until you discover them, do you? But it was discovered via satellite microscope, whatever, from space. So they're going to be looking in, sort of looking into it because there may be different species that we've never seen before. Wow.

I might find some kind humans. I, let me think. Here's another thing they found is because they're mapping the world, they're sort of, they're watching all the time.

There was these two islands that become one big island because of a volcano eruption in the sea, which is how all of the islands, I mean, it's how land is produced, isn't it, by volcanoes. The most fertile material in the world, isn't it? Volcanic land or ash or whatever. The only thing more fertile than that is our minds because whatever you plant, whatever you sow does reap.

Whatever you sow does reap. Not a big fan of the word reap for some reason, but whatever you, whatever seeds you plant will grow, positive or negative, which is an amazing thing, really. I don't believe that he's trying to turn into some kind of motivational guru.

No, I'm not. I'm not. See, I study things, but I take, I look at things from a practical perspective and I cross-reference.

So I look at things from, I can see things from a kind of a religious perspective, kind of, from a Christianity and from a Buddhist perspective. I don't know much about some of the other religions, but there's at least two that I do know about. And I was born into, you know, I lived with Catholic nuns for a couple of years.

So even though I've kind of forgotten that whole thing, not forgotten it, but forgotten the religious practices, I definitely have them built into me somewhere, possibly the guilt. So I'm trying to get rid of guilt. So I look at it from a hypnotic perspective, psychological perspective, and some things tick the boxes.

It just aligns. They all align. But when something aligns with, let's say it's a motivational positivity idea, and you see it actually aligns with mental health, it aligns with psychological counseling, other things I've learned, and hypnosis, starting therapy, and I start thinking, you know what? And then maybe with Buddhism and Christianity, I don't get into religion and stuff when I do recordings.

But, you know, my thing's more the hypnosis-y. But when things align and they kind of all sort of fondle each other, I realize that I'm onto something. So I'm not just taking someone else's word for it.

And I like to hear lots of different versions of the same things from different people, so that I can not monitor, but think for myself, because I think it's very important that we think for ourselves. And yeah, not we, but I think it's important that I think for myself. What other people do is up to them.

I'm not in control of what anyone else does. It's none of my business. Anyway, think for yourself.

If you noticed, he hasn't said, hmm, at all during this recording, hasn't eaten anything, hasn't chewed, he hasn't done any slapping. So yeah, I, what are they going to do? Yeah, so I meant, in the end, I fell in love with this lady. I got to talk to her and she sort of became almost like my best friend.

Talked to her every night. I wanted to spend every minute with her on the phone. I don't have that kind of feeling for people normally, especially not people I meet in real life.

I really liked her. And we even sent each other mixed tapes, that kind of stuff. I was like 29 years old, but I think she was about 25, 26.

Anyway, that didn't work out either. Eventually we did meet, but it was just really, really unusual circumstances that I wasn't prepared for. And it was just really strange, the whole thing.

So my advice, unless of course you're in prison or something, or there's a reason why you can't meet the person, then of course you can't just meet them within a week if, you know, they might live on the other side of the world. But my advice, because, you know, I'm full of advice, me, expert on relationships, expert on ruining my own relationships. No, I'm not.

I, it's best just to meet them straight away, because you might not get on with them. When you think about it, I'd, oh God, there's kids outside playing on skateboards now. It's, honestly, I really could make a lot more recordings if it was quieter, but even with the shed, it's not quite, it's like a swarming in that shed.

There's no air, but if there's air, if there was air there, then there'd be sound coming in. So it has to be locked tight, but it's still not soundproof. But I could make, if it was quiet, or if I had like a quiet place to go to every day, I could make, although it's easy to do it here, because then I can just do it when I feel like it.

But I could do probably six recordings a day on different things, but it's just that the background sounds, it distracts me a little bit. I mean, I've done hypnosis with people with an air display going on, like one-to-one, and the person didn't even bother that person. And if you've listened to my hypnosis stuff, and you like it, you know, imagine how much better it would be if it was actually in person.

If I was sitting there talking to you and I was in the same room, the effects would be way, way more than listening for the first time. Yeah, way more anyway, because imagine even if you listen regularly, if you was there listening to me in person, it would have a much bigger effect. So I think I used to literally practically knock people out with my voice in person, just through complete boredom.

I remember the lady who's in charge of the therapy center that I was renting a room for on a Saturday morning, she said to me, can you please stop saying hello and talking to, don't talk to your clients until they get upstairs, especially not when they're on the stairs. I said, why not? She said, my insurance doesn't cover that. If they fall asleep on the stairs and fall down, that could be the ruining of me.

Okay, that's nice. Then there was another woman, and this, this, I forget her name, she had dark hair, brown eyes, and she met her at a comedy club and she was dancing and I was like, she's lovely and she seemed to like me, which is nice. And I gave her my number and she called me and she said, oh, you know, you're lovely and that, but I'm going to, I'm going away.

I said, what? She said, yeah, I'm traveling away. I need to get away for a bit. So, I don't know, maybe she went to prison.

I don't really don't know, or rehab. And I think she might've been addicted to dancing. So I didn't see her for probably three months.

I didn't hear from her. And then I forgot all about her really. And out of the blue, phone call.

Oh, is that her? Is that Jason? And she didn't sound like that. So I just thought, oh, I don't know who's that. It's Joe.

Her name might've been Joe. I don't know. So we were talking on the phone again.

Wonderful. It, you know, it went from friendly to really friendly to romantic really quickly, but on the phone because she didn't live near me. So in the end she phoned, she came and visited me.

Yeah. She actually visited me in her car. She drove up and we sat there and nothing happened.

We were just talking and then she left. So I was like, oh, we didn't get on as well in person as we did. We'd already met before.

And so it wasn't like a blind date as such. And then we continued talking and I went up to where she lived. Again, I can't remember where it was.

It was a long way away. And I knew where she lived cause I had her address and everything. So I thought I'd just, it was a Sunday.

I thought I'd surprise her. I think surprise isn't the right word. And she reluctantly took me out because I'd come all that way.

I mean, I kind of understood at the time, I didn't really think about it, but it was inconsiderate of her not to just be available for me 24 hours a day. Now is it inconsiderate of me to just turn up, but that's what I did. And we got on, but then she sort of, at the same time, didn't seem to like me.

She went through little periods when she seemed to, then she didn't. And I didn't know. So I just, I think I, I know Andre comes to, what's he doing? What does he have to do? The really smelly one's right near my chair.

I'm surprised he's not jumping up at me, trying to get me to take him out. So eventually I left, you know, I didn't see her again. There was another one, but this one again was, yeah, it was the same thing.

It was on the, I knew there was more. There's another one from, she lived in Birmingham and she contacted me on this phone line thing in the January of that year and we could get free calls. And I talked to her for a couple of months and then I decided to surprise her.

So I just turned up, I think it was on a Saturday or it might've been, yeah, Friday. I don't know. It was sometime.

It was a day. It was a day whenever it was, possibly a Sunday, but which isn't a good day to travel really. So I don't know why, but anyway, I traveled to Birmingham from London.

So it's not a quick journey. I had to get a taxi to where she lived cause I've been phoning her and writing to her and stuff like that. And then again, it was a little bit awkward.

I don't think she told me that she had seven children and they were a little bit troubled in a sense of vandalizing a house opposite while I was there, you know, that kind of a little bit naughty. And I did, I really, I did fancy her actually. She looked, it might sound weird, but she looked like Pamela Anderson.

She's sort of probably an older version, not older, but she was about 30. So I suppose Pamela was about 30 by then. But yeah, I did, yeah, I really liked her.

But then she had all these kids running around and she didn't have her attention on me, but then she didn't know I was going to turn up. So I just thought, oh, I thought I might, maybe I'll go. That's what I started thinking when she kept asking me when I'm going to leave.

So I did, came back, didn't see her again. Actually, that's not totally true. What it is, is I did, I did want to see her.

I said, I do want to come and see you. And she said, wait, because I thought I might be going to prison next month. So I thought, oh, okay.

And then I didn't hear anything from her after that. So is there anyone else that I, I remember one of my sales jobs, somebody, I think this, yeah, it's like a long, long time ago. This, this lady asked me for my number or something.

So I kind of gave it to her on the phone, not supposed to, but I did. And we got talking, and again, we got on really well. And she said, I want to know what you look like.

I said, well, I don't have a camera on my phone, because this is back in the days when, you know, cameras didn't automatically, phones didn't automatically have cameras on them. So I went out and I bought a phone with a camera on it specifically so I can send her a picture. And that's what I did.

I sent her a picture of me. And she texts back saying, no, thanks. Okay.

So I just spent sort of 60, 70 pound on a phone, which I didn't even, I didn't even use that phone. It was like a spare phone, because I liked the one I had, but the one I had didn't have a camera on it. If we're talking 2002, it seems weird, doesn't it? What do you mean a mobile phone without a camera? No, there was a time, there was a time for people that are quite young, you may not believe this, but there was actually a time when mobile phones were phones.

That's what they were used for. And then texting came in. So the phones were first, you know, just then they had to text in, then they had a thing called WAP, W-A-P, which was the mobile version of an internet.

It was awful. It was really bad. But it was brilliant because we didn't know any, didn't have anything else.

And then we had cameras, I think, on the phone. Before that, we had phones that buzzed and vibrated. So they were cool.

Because I worked for a mobile phone company selling contracts. So I managed to get a phone from them. But it didn't have a camera on it.

That was in 2001. And phones changed that, didn't they? You had the BlackBerry, which was, I had two BlackBerrys. And I got my first one in 2007.

And they were more for originally kind of for business people, because you could send emails and stuff like that with them. I just, I liked them because I had a keyboard, even though the keyboard was tiny. I like the BlackBerry.

I don't know why, something about it I liked. And when that contract ran out in 2000, and yeah, it was 2011. So it's probably, I probably got the mobile phone in 2008.

In 2011, the contract was out, or I just decided to get a new phone. And I was with Orange, I think. And they said, oh, we've got a new one.

But it was an Android phone. I can't remember the make. But it was one, you know, touchscreen.

I've never had a touchscreen phone before. I thought, all right, I'll give that a go. The bloke talked me into it.

It's really good. It's the future. I said, but I like my BlackBerry.

Yeah, but this is cheaper. Okay, I'll have that then. Because there was a time, because I was working self-employed, I was paying about £70 a month for a BlackBerry.

But it was unlimited calls, pretty much to anywhere in Europe, you know. It was definitely anywhere, any mobile phone, anywhere. Because again, those that kind of have grown up with phones, might not realize that in the early days, you could have a free contract, a contract where you could phone up landlines as part of the contract.

But mobile numbers cost extra. Or if you were doing it pay as you go, a landline might cost, well, 10 pence a minute. But a mobile phone would be about 40 or 50 pence for a minute.

It weren't cheap. But then one-to-one came along and started offering, you know, you can phone anyone, anywhere for a certain amount of money a month, and you can keep the contract forever and ever and ever. And that kind of changed the whole environment, really.

Changed the industry in this country. But anyway, I got this touchscreen telephone. I didn't like it.

I touched it. I'm going to start dancing around saying, can't touch this. I just, I did.

I didn't like it. What this is rubbish. I sent it back.

I said, Nope. Can I please have the new BlackBerry? Thank you very much. Is it Blueberry? BlackBerry? BlackBerry.

So that's what it did, sent me BlackBerry. And that's weird. Did that really happen? No, I don't think I did get a new BlackBerry.

I think what happened, maybe that was 2009. I'm getting confused now. I definitely got one of those touchscreens, didn't like it, sent it back.

But I got an iPhone, my first iPhone in 2011. The reason I remember that is because I used to make videos on it in my bathroom, because I had an en-suite bathroom in this, like a room that I rented. Cost me £125 a week for a room and a toilet and a shower, no kitchen.

The toilet didn't work for pretty much half the year. I was there and the shower kept leaking and breaking down. I think the lights stopped working as well at some point, but apart from that it was good.

And I used to use, it was a big room and I used to have, I used to make videos on the iPhone. So a lot of my videos that were on YouTube were from that period. And I've also made videos in the therapy rooms as well.

And then I've got an Experian phone back in 2013, I think, 2014. Got an Experian. And now I've got, I'll get a Microsoft phone or Google phone or something like that.

And it just didn't work. It was rubbish, really, really rubbish. So I just had to just chuck that in the bin.

And I've got an Experian, which was supposed to be the best picture. Is it Sony Experian? Anyway, it's supposed to be the best picture on a camera, on a video. That's what I got it for.

I actually bought the phone. It was, I can't remember how much it was, but it was expensive. And then I just, it stopped working.

After I had it about a year and a half, it just stopped, kept cutting out. So I just gave up on it. And I've got another iPhone.

So I had this, and now I'm on the third iPhone. I've actually got the other two iPhones still. So the original one, I don't know what happened to the BlackBerry.

I think I must have chucked that in the bin. They were lovely looking, really lovely. Really just, yeah, lovely.

But yeah, why am I talking about phones? Oh yeah, phones with cameras. Oh yeah, I remember the story now. No thanks.

Anyway, that's it. That's the whole recording. So thanks for listening.

Remember to be kind to yourself, because you deserve to be happy. Lots of love. Bye.