#361 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (28th March 2020)

Hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

I'd like to say a big thank you to Kissy for your PayPal gift. Thank you. And also just a big thank you generally to everyone that listens.

And I do want to do a broad thank you to all those people that are listening who are working. But you know, I have to go to work because of being in a, I forget the term, but you know, in a role that, an important role, or I don't know what the government calls it. But so if you're a healthcare worker, or you know, you kind of work in the NHS or in hospitals or in your health service, or you're working in retail, or you're a cleaner, whatever your role is where you're kind of having to go to work.

And you're not, you know, unlike the rest of society, which is being told that they can't. I suppose a big thank you, because I saw something on the news the other day, it was like a discussion. And someone pointed out that the public's attitude towards low paid jobs may start to change when we realize that actually those, some of those low paid jobs are some of the most important jobs.

Like cleaners, like working in retail, supplying our food, you know, that kind of stuff. And it seems a shame that we have to go to these lengths. Not we, but maybe some people, in order for them to appreciate.

And I still don't appreciate them. But you know, I'm just saying for other people that might appreciate them. I always appreciate everybody, all the time.

And I have had lots of different jobs. So I've worked in retail, I've worked in security, I've worked in catering. And so I kind of also done a bit of care work as well, as well as counselling and which is part of the care sector.

So I know what it's like to do some of those kinds of jobs, and especially retail. And when it's busy, like Christmas, is a lot of shops, not supermarkets so much, but a lot of retail shops, they kind of depend upon Christmas and maybe the sales period, where they make their money, you know, that really supports them throughout the rest of the year, when maybe it's a bit quieter. And I had that when I worked in a gift shop, because I worked in two different gift shops.

One in 2004, and then one in 2008 and 2009. So yeah, so I worked in a couple of those, also worked in the co-op shop, I don't know what you want to call it, store, supermarket. It wasn't that super, but you know, it was, it was a small supermarket.

So I worked in there when I was 17. And then, yeah, it wasn't till I was 24 or 23, when I started working in retail again. But I've worked during those really busy periods, it's like Christmas.

And it's nonstop. And it's really, really tough. And pretty much everyone that's working in retail now, will be going through almost like a Christmas Eve, every day of the week, that continuous onslaught of people.

And they're human beings. Most of them. And, you know, it's, so I'm making an effort, I'm making an effort to actually wish people well.

And I don't normally do that. I say thank you and stuff. But I've really been sort of, maybe it's false, I don't know, maybe I'm being false, but I've been saying to people, stay well, keep safe, you know, that kind of stuff, which I don't normally say.

And sometimes it can sound more like a threat, can't it? Yeah, you keep yourself safe, yeah? Yeah, you look after yourself. You sound a bit threatening. But so at the local garage, the, although I've got a story to tell you.

I'll tell you about today, or yesterday, because now 2.36 in the morning, on Saturday, I had one of the weirdest days ever, yesterday. And basically, my friend, my neighbor, I lived in my last seven pound or something. And so he owed me 50 pound, basically.

But he was going to give it to me Friday morning, so I don't get paid till Wednesday. So for me, it's not an investment, but it's kind of like, okay, well, I'll get the money Friday, I'll go shopping, and that'll keep me going till Wednesday, and sort of helps him out, because he hasn't been paid for two weeks. So it's just trying to help each other out a bit.

We also go to hospital with each other, and just, you know, help each other out in different ways. But financially, this is the last time I ever lend anyone money ever, ever, ever. Because I haven't got the money to lend.

But it was just, it was there for food. But I can't get out. Can't get deliveries.

So it's a case of, I mean, there's no point, because I can't go out every day, or every two days like I used to. Now, and I can't get a delivery, which means I can't, you know, I need to just buy smaller amounts. I might actually lose some weight, which would be, I suppose, better for people that are looking at me.

I can't see myself, so it doesn't bother me. But anyway. But yeah, before I tell you the story, so I just want to say thank you.

And I know I'm saying thank you to people that I've never met, and you've never served me in a shop, probably. But it doesn't matter. I just think it's, you are the heroes of this situation.

And in this situation, the heroes aren't the police, or the fire service, because it's a different situation. If it was like the fires in Australia, the fire service, and the public as well, that were helping, they were the heroes in that situation. But in this situation, it's the healthcare workers, the nurses, the doctors, but also the volunteers, but the people that are giving us our food, that make, you know, make sure we can get through, you know.

So those are the people that are the heroes, it's just the people that are quite often, maybe ignored, to a certain degree, not as human beings, but just like as a collective. They're just, they're just, you know, going bing, bing, bing, and just giving you money back, or change, for the, you know. And a lot of supermarkets have tried to actually replace as many staff as they can anyway, with the automatic machines, which I never use, for the same reason why they're not being used now.

It's just I've always, you know, I've always had the awareness that we shouldn't all be touching the same thing continuously. Even the doctors, doctors, it's a GP doctor's surgery, you know. You have to sign in on a computer screen now, you have to touch a screen.

So people are walking in there with all kinds of stuff, obviously, and a lot that haven't been diagnosed, because that's why they go into the doctors. And they expect everyone to touch the same screen. For me, you know, I haven't, I've I haven't got a doctorate.

I've got a degree, but it's not in medical stuff. It's just counselling. But I can see that that's a really, really dumb idea, to have a big screen that all the customers, all the patients touch.

Hundreds of people every day, touching that screen. I mean, anyway, I don't touch a screen. I won't do it.

Just like I won't in McDonald's as well. Not that I'd go in there very often, but they've got now, they refurbished the McDonald's near where I live. Well, it's not all near where I live, but it's the closest one to where I live.

And they refurbished it. And then it was closed for about three weeks or something like that. And they, when they opened it up again, it looked the same as it did before, except they changed the, the door.

So they made just one, they made a different entrance. You had to go all the way around to get in. I don't know why that was, they did that.

And it's like take two screens where you can order your stuff, or you can queue at the till and order it there. I always queue at the till. I always, I've only been in there probably three times since they've opened, like reopened last year or the year before.

So I don't, I won't touch those screens. And part of the reason is because I've been in public toilets thousands of times over the years, not, not through some kind of, I've never been arrested, you know, I'm not, not through some kind of weird, weird lifestyle choice. I just, you know, I've been in toilets from school age onwards.

And I've seen with my own eyes, all the way through school, all the way from being at home, all the way from, all the way through college, two, two lots of, three lots of college actually. And also as an adult, being in pubs, clubs, as well as public toilets. They're not that many people actually wash their hands.

Well, I know I don't, but that's not, I do, I do. But there's a lot of people, especially when I was in, when I was doing my university course, it was a college which was full of young people, mainly. There's a few, I was 37 when I started.

So I was one of the more older people. And they also had like, I think people at age 16 plus were there. And the amount of people, I'd be just washing my hands.

I wasn't loitering, but I'd be washing my hands, looking in the mirror, making sure I've got no bogeys and, you know, stuff like that. And, you know, we'd sprout on our hairs from the ears and stuff. And the amount of times I would see young men, I mean, it was men's toilets, walk directly out of the toilet, you know, the poo place, you know, the toilet cubicle, not the urinal, but the toilet, you know, the doors and stuff.

Not that the toilet doesn't have a door, but I don't know what you call them, but anyway, cubicles, whatever. And walk out and just straight out the door, straight out. I must have seen it hundreds of times during my three years I was there.

So if that's not a reason to stop biting your nails, there's no other reason. That's a good enough reason to never bite your nails. Also, no, I won't go any deeper, but I, so I won't touch screens.

The weird thing about it though, when I'm in Argos, I touch the screen and I've got no problem with it. And I don't know why that is. Because Argos is a shop, if you're not from England, UK, Commonwealth, United Kingdom, Britain.

And there's a, it's like a catalogue shop, basically. You go in, they've got these, they used to have catalogues, literally, catalogues tied or connected to the, to the tables. And you'd skim through them and they'd all have little numbers and you'd write a little number on a piece of paper.

It was almost like being in a betting shop, the same pens, tiny little blue pens. And you'd write down the number. So it's like a little betting slip.

I mean, that's probably where they got the idea from. And then you queue up and you'd pay for the, you know, you'd give them the slip and they'd check it on their system. And so, so the, are you sure? Is that for you? Yeah, it's for me.

But that's generally for women. I said, it doesn't matter, just, is it for your girlfriend? Yeah, yeah, it's for my girlfriend. Yeah.

Can you just, can I just pay for it, please? He said, I don't know if it was going to fit you. It doesn't matter. Can I just pay for it, please? I said, well, how are you going to use it? It doesn't matter how I'm going to use it.

It doesn't matter. It's just, can I please pay for it? She said, you know, it doesn't come with batteries. I said, oh, what? She said, yeah, you have to actually buy it, have batteries separate.

Do you want me to order those as well? Do you want me to add that? Because I can, I can find the code for that quite easily. Because a lot of people come in there and they buy stuff and the item that they've chosen actually needs batteries. But not everybody realizes that.

And, you know, in the past, people used to come in, buy something, take it home, especially like Christmas or birthday presents. And they'd open it up, all the children would open it up, get all excited. Oh, this is brilliant.

And then there'd be no batteries to be able to operate that particular item. So now the management decided that we should ask everyone and make sure that you were aware that it didn't have batteries and to offer you the opportunity to buy batteries. And it's not that we're trying to sell you anything.

It's not upselling. You know, we're very happy with the amount you've already spent. More than happy, very pleased indeed.

Look at my smile. But it's just giving you an extra bit of service, really. I said, that was one hell of a mouthful.

She said, thank you. I said, it wasn't a compliment. She said, I thought you valued retail workers.

I said, I do, I do. She said, you said that we were heroes. I said, no, you are, you are.

You are, okay, forget what I said. What about being heroes? No, about, no, just, you are heroes. You're brilliant.

She said, oh, thank you. You've made my day. And I said, okay.

Okay, I'll get the batteries then, please. She said, I just have to find out which batteries fit. And I'm not sure if it's the AA or the AAA.

Maureen, do you know if this is, if it, look, come here a sec. Do you know this, if it goes AAA or AA for this? So Maureen's the other person who's working behind the camera. She comes over.

I don't know. I think the best thing to do is just get the item out and put the batteries in it and test it to see if it works. I said, no.

I said, no, no, no. I'm quite happy. I'll get both.

I'll get a AAA and a AA. Are you sure, sir? Because we're happy to test it for you. There's no need to even bring it out or take it out of the box or unwrap it or insert anything anywhere.

It's fine. And, uh, you know, ideally, can you please put it in a, in a, a bag? Could I just put it straight into my bag? Right. Without it being in a see-through carrier bag, if that's possible.

Oh yeah, of course. So yeah, that's fine. Okay.

And we did that. Um, but now there's a screen. So you just press what you want and you order it.

A slip prints out and see now I don't pay for it on the computer because there's another screen you can put you put your card in and you can pay for stuff and you go and wait for it. Now that doesn't work because what it says is go and go and queue at whatever place. And there isn't such a place.

They don't know you exist. And I did that thing once and I thought, I'm not doing this again. I said, excuse me.

So it doesn't come up on the board because when you, when you actually pay for it, you go queue up, go to the tools, you pay for it. They give you a slip. They say it's, it's a section a and you know, here's the number and it comes up on a screen.

When you actually purchased it through payment system, it doesn't do that. You have to wait for them to call you out. And they didn't.

I was just waiting there and I could see my item. I could hear it as well because it was vibrating, but I could hear it. And I said, excuse me.

He said, no, excuse me. I'm busy with a customer. I said, okay.

And in the end I said, this is really bad service. This is a really bad system. And he said, yeah, I know.

So there's nothing to do there. I couldn't, couldn't make any changes really. So I just gave them a dirty look and I walked away pretending to smoke a pipe.

And so now, you know, I don't feel, for some reason I don't seem to mind touching those screens. It's weird. I don't know.

It's weird. I don't even like touching the screens in a library. And those things are everywhere.

They had them in the job center. It started back in about 10 years ago. They started having those screens, which you had to press, that's probably more than 10 years ago.

And man, they're suddenly they're everywhere. And I think they've even got them in the pharmacy as well. I won't, I can't, I won't and I can't use them apart from in Argos for some reason.

I don't use self-service because that person that works in the self-service has got an attitude on them and they're everywhere. Every time I go there, it's the same person. You have an item in the bagging area.

You have an item in the bagging area. Saying that same voice, why do you keep following me around? And you know, it's, there's always an item that's not being read. And I'm thinking, you know what? They don't give us discount.

I'm doing your job for you and I'm still paying the same amount of money. Now you do the job. It's bad enough that I've got to put the stuff in a bag myself.

Because there was a time when you used to have people who put back, they put your groceries in the bags for you, didn't they? You know, a hundred years ago or so. But now it's, I've got to do it all myself. Which brings me to what happened yesterday.

Yesterday. So I went to bed. I only did one recording.

I've been very tired the last couple of days. A couple of nights ago, I did three recordings and I had a really good, a good night. You know, progress, not progression.

I don't know. I just, whatever the word is, I feel like I accomplished something on that evening. But the last couple of nights, I haven't, I've only just sort of made one, the let me bore you to sleep recordings.

Or in fact, I think two nights ago, I didn't do anything. And last night I did the, or the night before, the let me bore you to sleep, Friday morning. And I get woken up.

I probably went to bed about, probably went to bed about six o'clock in the morning. So it was early for me. Because I like to wake, I like to watch Cheers, which is on at six 30 in the morning.

There's usually two episodes. I quite like watching that. But that wasn't on.

It was on, but I didn't, I was too tired. So I just went to bed. And then I woken up at, I think it was 10 o'clock.

I didn't know what time it was. The deal was my friend was gonna, he'd basically, he'd left his card with a friend at his friend's house. And his friend was going to drop it off in the morning, basically, because he just forgot to bring it.

He left his wallet there or whatever. And he was going to go and get the money when in the morning, he's going to give me my 50 quid, put it through that box. I said, don't knock on the door, please.

Put it through that box because I'm going to be in bed. And he said, yes, you already said it 17 times. That's okay.

Knock, knock, knock, knock at the door. So I answered the door. You know, it might be half two in the afternoon.

And so I don't know what time it is. And it's my friend and he's smiling. But it wasn't a smile of happiness, it was a smile of utter disbelief.

So I thought, okay. Now I'm trying to self-isolate and we've kept our distance from each other. We go out, he takes his dog, I take Andre out.

We go out together maybe once a day for a walk, but we keep our distance. We meet outside and we keep our distance when we're outside. So we're not, you know what I mean? Normally, we'd spend time with each other in each other's flats.

But the last week or so, we've kind of really kept our distance and I've not allowed anyone in here. And I've not gone into his home. And I'm trying to do the right thing, you know.

Anyway, I had no choice but to let him in simply because he needed my help and I couldn't do it in a hallway. So I needed to try and, he'd already phoned the bank up and they said that they could put the money, they might be able to put the money into my bank from his account. But they'd have to speak to me and get my bank details.

And so I said, I might as well just come in. And he was sitting on the chair away from me, so he wasn't close to me or anything. I was on the phone for about two and a half hours to Lloyds Bank or Co-op Bank or wherever it was.

Was it Barclays? I can't even remember. Anyway, I was on the phone for ages and ages. And in the end, you know, I was waiting for quite a while, didn't get through, tried again, didn't get through.

And it was just lots of hassle. And then the person I spoke to, she was really lovely. And I was still getting totally, totally, it was just draining me.

And then she told me that the Prime Minister, some news about the Prime Minister, which cheered me up. And so, you know, it gave me a little bit of a boost of positivity. And then I just kept going, tried to set up the internet app, but it wasn't working.

The internet wasn't working properly. It just wasn't going and the internet was fine. So I thought, had to keep trying it.

I think five times had to keep trying to start it. She kept cancelling each one on her side so I could start again. Then it turned out I'd already had one, which hadn't been completed.

That's why I was blocking it. So she got rid of that and we started again. My laptop froze.

So that was great because I was trying to do it on the phone. Then she said, well, try it on your laptop. So I did it on my laptop.

My laptop froze. So I had to start the laptop up again. And eventually the idea was to get the internet banking.

Well, first of all, she said, can't transfer the money into my account. Has to be done by internet banking. So we tried it, got it all set up in the end.

And she said, it should give me an activation code at the end of it and I should be able to just set it up from my side. But it didn't. It sent the activation code, which meant I didn't have access.

You know, we couldn't use the internet. And she said, well, try and go on and do the automatic, you know, the auto, like the voicemail thing where you could just put in the numbers and, you know, ask what you want. So I tried that and it didn't work.

So the lady on the phone said the bank's open till two. He initially thought the banks were closed because that's what he was told by the first person that he spoke to, which is why I came because I said that was the first thing I'd done. I'd just gone to the bank and sorted it.

But he was told they were closed. But this lady on the phone said they were open till two o'clock. So we went to go to the bank and they needed me to go with him.

So I went with him. I was all the time trying to keep my distance on the bus. There's only hardly anyone on the bus, but all the time keep my distance from him.

I left Andre here. I just felt my energy just dripping away because it was just, you know, just wasn't really in the mood for this. And we got to, yeah, we got to town.

Now we were waiting at the bus stop for the bus. Didn't know if the bus was going to turn up. I phoned my friend to find out if she banked.

I was going to phone up everyone I knew, not everyone, but just sort of do you bank with this bank? And are they open today? Because I spent quite a while on the laptop trying to find out that information, could not find anything. It was ridiculous. It was just, come on, man.

Banks are an important service, aren't they? I imagine quite, fairly important considering money. So I phoned up my friend and I said, do you bank with this, with the Halifax or wherever it was? And she said, no, I don't. What's it got to do with you? And who is this? I said, it's Jason.

She said, didn't I tell you never to call me again? I said, I forgot. She said, how could you forget? I said, I don't know. She said, I told you never to call me again.

Ever since that, since that incident that happened. I said, are you still harping on about that? She said, it was a 10 month court case. Of course I'm still harping.

No, no, she didn't say anything. She said, what's occurring? And so I just, I explained the situation. I said, I'm just trying, we're trying to get to the bank.

We don't know if the bus is even going to turn up, but we're hoping. And she said, well, I can lend, how much do you need? I can lend you a hundred pound if you need it. I said, look, thanks, but this is, I don't want to do that.

I want to get to the bank and get it sorted. You'll be the last option. And then after talking to her for a bit, in the end, she sort of said, why don't you just, why don't you just put it into your account now and then just give it back if you don't need it? I said, oh, okay then.

You talked me into it. But I wasn't phoning for that. I was phoning specifically to find out if the bank was going to be open.

Anyway, I'm thinking, do we now, do we need to go to the bank now? And I'm saying to my friend that I said, on the phone, I said, well, you know, if you put a hundred pound in my account, I'll give you a 50 pound until his card comes through. Well, you know, so he can start using the bank or whatever. So he gets the money.

And I keep my 50 that he owes me. Then I don't need to go into town. I can just go home, go back to bed.

And she starts laughing. And I said, I'm not joking. Probably that is what I want to do.

But I'm not going to do that because that's not why I called. I've come out specifically to get to town, to go and do that, you know, to find, to get to the bank. And she said, all right, well, I'll put it into your account anyway.

And I said, okay, but I'm still going to go to the bank. And that's what I did. I just determined I wasn't just going to turn back and go home.

And then I just returned that money straight away if it all went to plan. Well, the bus turned up, which was a good sign. I mean, I was actually on the phone to her.

She said, I'll do it now. Just, uh, that's it. Just text me your account number and sort code or something like that, I think.

Which, did she say that? Oh, I'm not sure. Anyway. Anyway, she says she'll do it.

I said, thank you. I get on the bus. I'm checking my phone.

The phone battery is going down. It's at about 20%. And it's going down.

It's starting to bleep every now and then saying low battery, plug it in. So I'm thinking, oh, okay. Great timing.

I'm sitting on the bus with my friend, still waiting. We get off at, where did we get off? All right. First of all, we get off at the first bunch of shops.

So we decide actually, um, no, he said actually it'll be here tomorrow. So the card will actually, it'll be, because I didn't realize that he left the money tomorrow. So I thought, okay, we might as well just go to the shop.

I'll take the 50. You take the 50. I'll get food.

You get your food. I'll get my prescription, which is what I need to go out for as well. And then we'll come back.

Because I didn't realize the money was coming. They'd have it the next day. So we get off near the supermarket instead of going into town.

And my friend, I'm still thinking, I do want to go into town and check it. But my friend, I phone her up and she says, no, I can't do it. There's a, um, it's a two hour wait.

I tried to do it on automatic. And it's a two hour wait. So the whole system's just in slow break, you know, it's not working properly.

And I said, okay. And she said, oh, and she called me up and said, my boyfriend, her boyfriend is happy to do it. Okay.

So I just, I sent him debit credit card and stuff. And so we walk up. I know not that.

Yeah. At that point, we walk up, get the bus into town to get the next bus into town. So that's two buses so far.

We get into town. For some reason, he's not in a hurry. Go figure.

Um, but he does walk three times faster than me when he walks normally. So I walk ahead and I'm getting more and more frustrated as this happens, like more and more, this is just ridiculous. Why am I not asleep? Get to the bank.

It's closed. All barred up, shut at the back, went around the front. There's a sign on the door saying open between 10 and two.

And this was, I don't know, about two minutes past one in the afternoon. So a friend's banging on the door and the door was rattling. So the door wasn't even properly securely closed.

It was, you know, you could probably push it open actually, if you really pushed hard or, you know, kicked it hard, but that's not a good idea of a bank, to be fair. So we go over, sit down on the chair, on some chairs opposite the bank, and just wait and see if anyone comes out. And then there were people that knock on the door, nothing, ringing the bell, nothing, coming and going.

And I said, well, there's no point in staying here, is there? And I speak, and then my friend said, and then I had a look. I said, let's just get back. Let's just go back.

I need to get my prescription anyway. So we get the third bus, and which takes us to where the chemist is. So I get to the chemist and it's a drive-through chemist, but also one you can walk into.

And there was two people in the queue, outside, a queue I'd never seen before, like a window that I'd never seen before. And there was loads of cars, and someone said, in the queue, said that there's a lady there. There was a man at the front, standing at the window.

There was a lady standing, you know, a distance away from him, I think wearing a mask or that might just be the way she looked, might just be her face, but she is, and Halloween mask. And she said, oh yeah, there's a two-hour wait for prescriptions. What? Two-hour wait? There's only two of us here, there's three of us.

And she said, no, that's for the cars. So I said, I'm not waiting around, I'm not just, so what I do is I go around to where the cars collect their prescriptions, and I'm knocking on a window, and I'm just standing, blocking the traffic. I said, yeah, I'm going to find out what's going on.

And I said to the man at the window, don't worry, I'm not trying to jump the queue, I'm just finding out what's going on, because I'm not standing there for no reason. No one answered the window. My friend went around to see what was going on, because the lady said that they were closed, the one in front of us.

Now this is, this is weird, right? The lady went around to the shop, so they'd actually basically, they'd closed for an hour for lunch. So we were probably two o'clock by now. Yeah, it's about two o'clock in the afternoon.

So they had closed for an hour, from one to two or something. And it just opened. The lady that was in front of me, while I was at the window, she just walked in, went around and walked into the chemist, didn't tell us that it was open.

Completely ignored, didn't tell me or the man that was waiting that the door, that the place was now open. But my friend who went around, he gave me a big shout, he said, oi, oi, oi, it's now open. So I went in, and I said there was this young lady, blonde hair, and I said, what's the process? He said, what do you mean, what's the process? I was like, well, every, most shops seem to have a process in there, like one in, one out.

And she was like, really, there's no process. But there was a process, she just, I think she was being a little bit, I don't know, maybe she didn't know that there was a process. Because when I actually got out, there was a big queue of people outside waiting to get in.

So there was a process, like one in, one out. So I don't know why she was saying, I don't know. Anyway, I chucked a banana at her.

So I go in, I said, is it the normal process for getting prescriptions? She said, you know where the prescription place is. I said, I know where the prescription, I know, I'm just saying, is it the same process? Why is this difficult? I'm just trying to abide by your new rules. I'm trying to be a good citizen.

She said, I really don't like you. I said, what? You've only just met me. She said, yeah, but you're a bit obnoxious.

I said, if anyone's as obnoxious as you. And she said, yeah, I quite like you as well. I said, don't care.

You might have none of this. You've been rude to me. She said, well, that's a shame.

And I thought, well, why? What am I missing? She said, you're never going to know. Now move along, please, old man. So I thought, okay, I walked up to the counter, near the counter, and there was two people in front of me, plus at the counter, the lady that was outside.

So basically she came in, and two people came in after her. She didn't have any part of her brain thought to tell the people outside that the shop was open. No part of her brain seemed to work that way.

So maybe the word is selfish. Who knows? But I'm not really in a hurry, to be fair. I don't really care.

I'm just there waiting patiently. A lady came along and said, is this a queue? I said, yeah. I realized that probably sounded a bit rude.

I said something jovial to try and sort of be humorous or something. I was just, I kind of had enough of the day, to be fair. And then someone else came and started queuing, and he was standing close to me, but in a different direction.

I think I said out loud, distance, distance. And I think my social skills are starting to decrease with time, maybe with age, but with certain situations. Anyway, I got eventually, got to the point, another member of staff came out and was serving.

And there was this big gap between the counter and the patients. So I had to shout out what my name was loud. And my address is like, I don't really want to be shouting out my personal details, in public.

Anyway, I did. And I got my prescription, which is for the month. There's quite a few items there, all the bipolar medication and stuff.

And there was this, so the man, I think he was about to move, to get served, because the lady said, who's next? I said, no, that lady over there, she's next. And then I left. I said, thank you.

Take care of yourselves. Be safe. In my most positive voice.

And I left. Now, then, what happened then? Went and got the money from the cashpoint machine. Went to go to the toilet, but the public toilet was closed.

Every single public toilet was closed everywhere. And so it went to, Iceland was there. We thought, we need to get food.

He didn't have any food. I still, I needed food as well. So I'm walking there.

I've got my bag with my prescription, big bag of prescriptions in it. Got a bottle of water and a couple of little bits in there. And so I walk up to Iceland.

Quite a few cars in the car park, considering McDonald's is closed. All of the home stores, you know, the carpet shops, all those, the clothes shops, all those were all closed. And I think Argos was open.

I'm not sure why. At least it was, it might not be. It was open on, yeah, it was open a couple of days back.

Anyway, went into Iceland, thinking there was going to be a queue, but there wasn't a queue. There's no queues outside. They were just letting people in.

There was no monitoring, no keeping people at a distance, nothing like that. They would just let everyone in to do whatever they wanted to do, to walk around and be near each other. And so it was like, I guess, a self-regulation situation, but most people were pretty good to be fair, but not everybody can comprehend, I think, distance, you know.

I'm not great with it, like two foot or two meters. I'm not really sure what two meters is, but, you know, it's, I kind of think spitting distance, but without like really like putting your head up really high, because you can get a lot more distance that way. But just, I guess that would be sort of the distance, two meters.

Not that I would spit at someone, but not in this day and age, you'd go to prison for that. And going there, I get a big trolley. I don't get, just a basket, not a trolley of stuff.

So I got a 50 pound. I spend 35 pound on food. And so hopefully that I've got enough to get me food till next week.

And then my friend was getting his food as well. He went off. He put his stuff on the conveyor belt and then went off to get something else.

And there was a queue starting to build up. And I thought, oh. So I just said to the lady in the counter, I said, that was my friend, wasn't it? They said, just put it through.

It's fine. I'm with him. And I started to pack the stuff up in bags, his stuff.

And then he came back and put the thing that you, I don't know, a bag of twigs or whatever he bought, some tampons or something. So he put them onto the conveyor belt and did that. So I'm putting this stuff into the bags because the queue is really growing, like quite long.

There's about 10 people, only one person working on the tools. So I'm feeling for her. I'm thinking, okay.

And also the level of patience I felt is reduced in me. So I'm guessing it's the same with other people. And they're talking and looking over and I think, oh.

So I put my bag, the bag that we had, the trolley, the bag was in the trolley, I think. I put it on one side, on the other counter that wasn't being used. I'm packing his stuff up.

I let the man behind me go before me because he only had a couple of items. But then the person behind him had a big trolley. So I thought, I'll let him go through and then I'll just put my stuff in.

And I'm pretty quick with bagging stuff up. So I'd sort of get it done fairly quickly. And then I was like, I fell in love with someone that had a big trolley, absolutely beautiful woman.

Wow. And so I was a little bit entranced in that moment by her, which is weird. And she was looking at me as if, can you hurry up, please? She definitely wasn't in love with me, which is fine.

And then this man does his stuff. My friend just walks out, but leaves me to it. Like, okay, I'll pack your stuff up.

Don't help me in mine, will you? So I had to pack my own stuff up. So admittedly, he had a dog outside, so he did need to go outside, but that's, I just want to moan. I like to moan.

And I packed my stuff up. So I got three carrier bags of stuff, £35, £34, something like that. I pay on a card.

No, I pay, I had to pay with cash. Yeah, I had to pay with cash. There was no, to be fair, I could have left the money on the card, couldn't I? And just drawn out 15, give it 10.

But we're supposed to be paying cards, but normally I do. I rarely touch cash these days. I've already got any cash, but I don't generally just pay on a debit card.

But anyway, I pay for the stuff. And it's all heavy, three bags, thank you. A lady comes out and starts to open another till up.

And she said, are you two together? Me and my friend. And my friend said, no, we're just friends or whatever else. And he said, oh no, I didn't mean it like that.

I said, no, it's fine. We're just working through some things at the moment. Going through relationship counselling.

And he didn't seem to find it very funny. I was just joking. Anyway, he's outside.

I come, I get my stuff. I go outside and then we've got to catch the bus. And of course I take to the lady, take care of yourself, keep safe.

And she says, you say that to everyone, don't you? I said, yeah, I do. She said, I thought so. I said, well, why? She said, well, it just seemed to flow off your tongue a little bit too easily.

It didn't seem any passion. It was very, almost false the way you said it, like you were reading off a piece of paper. I said, well, actually I was.

I was reading off a piece of paper. She said, well, where's the paper? I said, okay, it's in my hand. I showed them, I've pulled my hand in it.

I said, keep well, keep safe, take care. She said, have you really wrote that on your hand? I said, yeah. I just, I wanted to show my appreciation to the retail sector.

I knew, you know, I just, I think it's important. She said, well, it's very nice, but a bit strange. I said, yeah, but trust me, you say that a lot, do you? She said, she showed me her hand.

Bit nice, but a bit strange. It was on a very strange conversation, weird. Anyway, I get my bags.

I go out and we get just to the end and we see the bus is parked at the bus stop. So we're kind of moving, waving our hands at the bus, and then the bus indicates to go out. He can see us.

I mean, there's not a lot going on. And if he can't see us, he shouldn't be driving a bus, basically. And neither of us are small, you know, so it's like, come on.

So I'm counting and we're both weighed down with lots of bags and he's got a dog and it's like, the bus pulls out. But only, we couldn't run. It was too, too weighed down.

I ran a little bit and he starts shouting at the bus, stop, stop. The bus driver doesn't, he walks in the road. He stops all the traffic.

There's two cars in front of the bus and he just walks out in front of them and stops the cars until the bus stops and he orders the bus driver to open the door. And the bus driver does. And the bus driver starts shouting at us, saying, you're holding up all the traffic.

And I looked behind and I said, there's one car behind you. One car. There's hardly any traffic on the roads.

There's nobody on the bus. This is the easiest job you've ever had in your life right now, being a bus driver. There's no passengers.

So when you see a passenger, perhaps you should let them on. But he was shouting. I didn't, I said that to myself, but he was shouting.

Now, I'm not a big fan of being shouted at and I'm never going to forgive him. That's one of those things. I will not be shouted at by anybody.

And I was like, what? Get on your knees. He's like, but he still let us on. And then my friend goes up and starts chatting to him while he's driving along, distracting the driver.

Like, you know, let's walk in the road, stop all the traffic. Now we're going to distract the driver that was rude to us. It was like a surreal, really surreal day.

And I said to him when I got off the bus, why are you being friendly to him? He said, oh, he's all right. He was just talking about the dog. I said, he was shouting at us.

You can never forgive someone that shouts at you. He was just laughing at me. I thought, okay.

I get home. I'm so tired. So tired.

And the bags are heavy as well. The whole experience from 10 o'clock and it was three o'clock by the time I got home. So from 10 o'clock on the phone, all the way through into town, the phone calls, hassling my friend in the end to actually, just in order to get money.

And then the whole thing, waiting outside the pharmacy and then waiting inside the pharmacy and then going to Iceland and that whole process and then people staring and sort of like, what are you doing? Why almost, I felt like people were looking at my shopping and judging me on whether or not it was essential goods. And my argument is this, if a shop is open because it's an essential shop to be open, then every item in that shop that's for sale is essential. And if it's not essential, they shouldn't sell it.

Simple as that. Because I had like a tub of ice cream, some sponge cakes and stuff. I have a belly to maintain.

And it's not all I bought. I also bought food and stuff. But you know, I bought a few little, man, if you can't have a little treat yourself with some little bits and bobs, then you know, I think it's important to be, to do nice little things for yourself.

Maybe not every day like me, but or every hour. And I was walking back and I'm just so tired. So tired.

Got back indoors. I realised I'm carrying some stuff of his. So I get that out of the carry bag, give that to him.

No wonder my bag was heavy. And I get in. Andre's decided to do a massive poo right in front of the front door as I walk in.

Luckily I miss it. But it means I had to change the paper straight away. Because I couldn't put the, at the moment I've got this video TV stand that I stand in front of because it stops Andre from scratching at the front door.

But it's heavy. But also I can't put it down if he's already done a nice fresh patch of poo. So I have to change that paper as soon as I get back, which is not what I really wanted to be doing.

Obviously wash my hands. I've probably washed my hands twice at this point. Probably washed my hands first of all from being on the bus and being out.

And then I washed my hands again after I've cleaned up his mess. And then I put my shopping away. Put the stuff in the freezer.

Put the stuff in the fridge. And I'm thinking I'm going to have some tea cakes and a can of Coke, which is one of my little treats. It's one of my little, it's a thing that I do.

I've got this little routine. And I watch Minder, which is one of my favorite things to do. So at this point it's half past three.

And then I look around and I think, where's my prescription? Where's my medication? And it's a big bag of medication. It's not like a small bag. So I go back into the kitchen.

I look through the bag. It's not there. I phone my friend up.

I said, is it one of your bags? Because I was filling your bags up. Maybe I put some of your stuff in that bag that I had. And he said, no, it's not in any of my bags.

He said, well, where could it be? I said, well, it can only be two places, either Iceland or on the bus. So I phone up Iceland first because I recollected putting down the basket on the other counter, which is something that I wouldn't normally do. It's just because I was letting someone through and I was helping my friend to pack.

That's why doing lots of different things at the same time isn't always a good idea. I never want to do it again, actually, either. Never doing this again.

That's the last time this ever happens. Just no, no. And I phone up Iceland.

I actually have to look up the telephone number online, of course. And I was surprised. I actually got through to that precise store.

I was like, wow. Get through. And I said, hi.

I left a bag there that had my prescription in it. She said, yeah, I've got it here. I said, oh.

She said, can you confirm who you are? Because I said, yeah. And I gave her my name and my address. She said, yeah, I've got your prescription here.

And we were laughing at some of the medication you have. I said, what? She said, nothing. And it was, oh.

She said, are you going to come and get it now? I said, no. I can't. I can't do anymore.

She said, what? Why? I said, no, don't worry. You're going to have to listen to my recording later if you want to know about it. But I'm frazzled.

And she said, OK. Well, you can come and collect it tomorrow if you want. I said, thanks.

She said, it'll be in the office. And I said, OK, cool. So that was that.

I had a couple of tea cakes, some Coke, a can of Coke. But I didn't drink all of it. I watched probably half of Minder, which started at 20 to 4. And I had to go.

I had to go to bed. I don't normally go and lay down just after eating. I was straight away after eating.

But I was just, it wasn't even just tiredness, but it was, I had no, I had to lie down, which I did for, I don't know, three, four, I think it was till six, six o'clock, just after six o'clock. It was probably maybe an hour and a half, hour and three quarters, something like that. And I think Andre was on the bed with me and got up.

And then I went to the garage because I needed some other stuff that I couldn't, hadn't got, I wasn't able to get at the Iceland. So I spend the next, the last bit of money I got in there and then come back. They've got this big spit screen up or like a, and I've got these, they've got these things on the floor where people have to stand, like a little block, like a colored, colored circle.

That's where people have to stand away from each other, which I think they should anyway, because they basically up each other's bums sometimes, so close to each other. You can feel them breathing on the back of your neck. It's like, it's like the English teacher at school all over again.

It's like, oh, I don't like this. And so, and one of the blokes in there, in the garage, there's three people working behind the counter. There's never that many people working there.

No, no customers. And he said, can you jump from one to the other? I said, I can give it a go. And then the lady behind the counter said, no, no, don't do that.

You might hurt yourself. And I said, she said, it's slippery. It's slippery.

I said, yeah, to be fair, probably there's a chance it could hurt my knee. So I thought, no, I won't do it then. And she took my money.

I left. Of course, I said, remember, you'll take care of yourselves. Be well.

Stay safe. And I left. And one of them called me back.

She said, excuse me. I said, yeah. He said, is that the same order as you normally say it? I looked at my hand and I said, I'm not sure.

She said, well, it's on your hand, isn't it? I said, no, it got smudged. I was sweating earlier and I wiped my head. She said, wait a minute.

And she looked at my forehead. She said, I can still see the word, part of the word safe on there. Oh, how cute.

I said, it's not really, is it? It's just ink. She said, I know, but the fact that it's transferred, of course, it's back to front. But I said, yeah, I don't know.

Anyway, you all look after yourselves. And they said, yeah, you too. And I left, walked home.

And that was the end of the, actually, the man in the garage said, I'm sorry to hear about your little boy. And I thought, what? I thought, well, what's happened to him? Because, you know, I've been gone for a few hours. And she said, oh, someone said that he'd passed away.

I said, what? I said, but I'd just seen him and I would have been home. And I thought, no, no, he's fine. He said, oh, must be someone else.

I said, it doesn't matter then, does it? He said, yeah, it does. I said, yeah, I know it does. I shouldn't have said that.

Sorry. He said, you're very rude. I said, you know, I've been told that a lot lately.

And, uh, made a little dance. Then I left. And, uh, that's it.

Came home. I had another sleep. And now I'm doing this recording.

So that was the story of Friday. The, when was it? The 28th, wasn't it? I think it's the 29th now. It's definitely the first on Wednesday.

Tuesday would be the 31st. Monday would be the 30th. Sunday would be the 29th.

Saturday, which is now, would be the 28th. Yeah. It's a Friday the 27th of March, 2020.

So yeah, that was the, that was the whole story. Oh, one of my neighbors gave me, he said last night, he said, I want to give you a gift. So he knocked on my door, but I kept distance.

And he wanted to ask me something. He needed to borrow something. So I said, okay.

But he kept a distance. I'm not letting anyone in there. If I can avoid it.

And he said, I've got a gift for you. I said, okay. He didn't tell me what it was.

And I thought it's a bit strange. Got a gift. And then I'm talking to my friend who would, when we got back from town, you know, from town.

And this bloke, he came up and he said, here's your gift. So he handed it to me, but it's from, you know, put it on, on the floor and I picked it up. So he kept that distance.

And again, and it was a little ferret, like a little porcelain ferret, like tiny little thing. It's so cute. And one of the best presents I've had for a long time.

It's small enough to stand on top of a plug socket. You know, the sockets that are on the wall that you put plugs into is small enough to fit on the top of one of those. So I have, I've got it.

I want it to be somewhere I could see it. And I'm a little bit worried that I might start to collect ferret toys. This might be the start of a new collection.

But it's a beautiful little thing. So I might start to. Yeah.

And the good thing about that thing over there is it doesn't poo everywhere. So that's nice. Doesn't bite me.

Doesn't wake me up. Doesn't scratch at the front door. But then it doesn't kiss me and give me cuddles and tell me how much he loves me.

And tell me that I'm the best daddy in the whole wide world. Not yet. He's got to get, got to get to know me, isn't he, I suppose.

Anyway, I'm gonna go. Thank you very much for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy.

Lots of love. Bye.