#359 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (25th March 2020)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com, the grooviest website that I produce. The only website that I produce. And what is this? This is Let Me Bore You to Sleep.

And my name is Jason Newland. New-land. And please only listen to this when you're ready to feel groovy.

And also only listen when you can safely close your eyes. So, if you're in the middle of doing brain surgery on someone, please, you know, press the pause button until you put the brain back in. Thanks.

So, I saw someone the other day and it was actually, it was a, they're having brain surgery while they're awake. Because you know the brain has no pain nerve endings. There's no pain.

The actual brain itself has got no nerve endings which has pain. So, they can do surgery and it doesn't hurt at all. No feeling.

Completely numb. And this lady or man or, I think it was a lady, doesn't really matter what their genitals were. But this person was playing the violin whilst the operation was going along.

And I thought, wouldn't that be a bit off-putting if you were a surgeon? Because there's no preparation for that, is there? In medical school. What situation would you ever have with someone that you're operating on? Somebody pulls a violin, a musical instrument out? Unless, of course, I mean, I don't know. Is it a case of it's going to be a very long operation? You're not going to have any discomfort because there's no nerve endings.

You can't feel anything. But it just means that we're going to, you know, it's very intricate. It's like an oil painting.

You know, it's very much like that. Or making your own Christmas decorations. You know, it's a lot of work.

It takes time. Brain surgery is very much like making those little chains that go across from one part of ceiling to the other, made out of toilet rolls. Did I mention toilet rolls? So, maybe that's what it is.

Everyone's making Christmas decorations. So, you know, the person told her, you know, usually someone brings something to keep themselves occupied. Some people bring a book.

So, you know, whatever you like to do. And maybe she thought, okay, I'll take my piano. Not a piano.

Imagine a piano. Because she has to lay on her back, so they have to actually string the piano up so that it's from the ceiling upside down so she can play it. Now that's a faff.

Imagine a really successful operation. It's all perfect. And then a strap breaks and just the piano falls on her.

So, I suppose playing the drums wouldn't be perfect, would it? Harpsichord, I guess, is out of the order, wouldn't it? Because you'd be moving your mouth, which would move the face and stuff. Or the trumpet. But I'm just thinking, wouldn't it be off-putting to have someone lying down playing the banjo or something like that? Yeah.

But it fascinated me. What fascinates me the most is your body can't actually feel pain. Your body doesn't feel the pain.

The pain is felt in your brain, which, you know, when you relax, it actually reduces any physical discomfort that you might have or might have had before. You decided to listen to the JJ and relax. However, when you actually go to the brain itself, there are no pain receptors in the actual brain.

That's just weird, isn't it? Some kind of weird, weird weirdness. Now, I reckon, I think I can guarantee this. This is the first sleep recording that's ever started with talking about somebody playing the violin during a pain operation, a brain operation.

Probably hasn't. I don't feel Paul McKenna does this. He's more highbrow, more highbrow, with his weird accent.

And who knows what is it? See, Paul McKenna didn't used to sound like that. I know, I feel it's really, he's gone almost, I don't know, Atlantic. He's kind of, he spent a lot of time in America.

And he's kind of a bit posh, poshish, well-spoken. He used to be a DJ on, I think it was Capitol Radio. He was a DJ and a hypnotist came onto his show.

And he decided, they decided, it's a radio show yet, they decided to give a hypnotist a go because the ventriloquist didn't work out very well the previous week. And the week before that, the magic tricks weren't very good. The magician, I mean, it was good, but the audience didn't seem to really appreciate it as much as those in the studio.

And I think he was fascinated by the hypnotist and then took it up. And because he had money, because it was a DJ on big radio stations, he had the contacts and the, he kind of went, he took it quite big, quite quickly. And then got on the TV and became one of the world's most famous hypnotists.

Although I think he classed himself as a self-development or coach or something like that. But he's sold more books than anyone else, including Shakespeare. No, I don't know about that, but he's sold more books, I think, for self-help than anyone else has.

That's what he says. I mean, I'm not going to argue because it may well be true. He used to have these books that had CDs with them.

And the CDs would be either on the cover or on the inside. So you'd have the book, like how to stop smoking or how to be slim or how to be whatever, and fill in the gap here. And there'd be a CD with him talking like this and you can really relax and then you can really experience those sensations in your body, moving through your body or filling your body with goodness and carrots and various different vitamins.

You feel so good inside. I can't do it. I sometimes wonder if he's on the toilet when he's making a recording.

It does sound like he's straining to do a poo a little bit. And now you can really, really feel those sensations spreading out into the world, knowing that you will never, ever smoke again because now you feel so calm and so relaxed. And now you can really relax.

I half expect to hear, when he gets to the end of the recording, I half expect to hear the toilet flushing. This is terrible. I'm only joking.

I'm mocking the world's most famous hypnotist. I'm joking. I'm joking.

I am. He's just really hugely successful while making fun of him. I don't know why.

I don't know why I make fun of him. You know what? When I first got into the hypnosis, I tried to make it just the way I am as a person. And I know it does sound different and I talk differently.

Maybe when I make these recordings, things do get slower throughout the recording, but that's part of the process. And I can hear that background sound. That's the boiler, I think.

Wow. Although it's been bright outside, the last few days, it's been pretty, pretty cold in the evenings, like during the night. Yeah, no way with that.

That was the whole... Yeah, that was everything. That was the whole sentence. And now my left armpit is itchy.

You didn't need to know that. There's no reason to tell you that, but I just have. Yes.

I'm going to scratch it. That feels nice. I was so tired earlier, about 10 o'clock, maybe half 10, 9, 10, something like that.

And I laid down for probably about an hour and a half. And I had the best little lay down I've had for ages. It was so nice.

So nice. I just, until Andre started hassling me and biting my toes. That wasn't so nice.

The thing is, he doesn't actually bite my toes. He bites my socks. It's almost like it's a warning shot.

It's kind of like, I'm going to bite your toes in a minute, daddy. But first, I'm going to bite your socks first. And I say to him, why did you say first twice? He said, that was your own error.

Because you said it, didn't you? And I said, yeah, true, it was me pretending to be you. He said, fine. If you're going to pretend to be me, at least put a different voice.

I said, okay. He said, no, not you, me, funny. Everyone knows what you sound like.

What do you mean? I said, I'm Andre. I should be the one with a squeaky voice. You're the one that's Jason.

Yeah. It doesn't work if you're the one with the squeaky voice. But I haven't got a squeaky voice.

Well, you're clearly doing it on purpose. It's not not pretending to do it, are you? I don't know what you mean. Yeah, you do.

You're just a bit confused, aren't you? You just won't back down. You know I'm right, but what? Andre, can you do a big loud poo, please? Just so that we can all hear you. No? Oh.

He's on the chair now, looking for something to destroy. Hey. Come on then.

You want to give me a cuddle? You're going to give Dada a cut-cut? Dada a cut-cut? No, he's doing the poo. I'm not having him on me. I'm not having him use my trousers as toilet paper.

No. He is good, though. He does do it on the paper.

Mind you, he's got no choice. I think about two-thirds of the floor is covered in that blimmin' paper. It's not.

It's not. But it is too much. Oh.

What was I talking about? I was talking about something, but I don't know what. So, I suppose I should, just to let you know. Come on then.

You want to give me a cuddle? You can if you... Oh, OK. I'll go away then. I... I had a message.

I'll read it out loud for you. Hang on a minute, if I remember. With that... Wait a minute.

I might have it here. Let me see if I've got it and I'll read it out. If I can get the thing.

Yeah. OK. This is from Viola.

And forgive me if I pronounce you wrong. You're wrong. Your name wrongly.

Viola. Viola? Vi-o-la. For you, if you're... Violin.

Viola. Viola. Anyway.

Let's have a look. Hi, Jason. I listen now quite a while to your podcast, mainly to bore you to sleep.

And I thought it's time to thank you for all your effort. Therefore, I sent you 50 euros via PayPal. Especially these days, it's important to support each other.

Thank you. Thank you for that. I live in Western Germany, next to the border to Luxembourg.

And the situation got strange here, like in the UK. There's a little bit, so I'm going to miss out a couple of little bits. Nevertheless, nevertheless, I'm so happy that your podcasts are... are... is a name free.

So you could say news free. Yeah. Because when I fall asleep, I do not want to be confronted with reality.

Too right. Too right. It's not easy at the moment finding podcasts without this topic.

We have a fallen asleep podcast called Inschnellereinigsemonium podcast in Germany, too. But unfortunately, they're still talking about that particular subject. I hope you're well and you will produce more news free.

That's not what it says, but podcasts in the next few weeks, which I'm going to. Yeah, I do intend to. Thanks.

Say hello to your little creature. I'm guessing you're talking about Andre. And I like it when I can hear, hear him in your audios.

Yeah, he probably heard him here running around. I have three guinea pigs and it's nice having some creatures around, especially when I'm working from home as I do at the moment. By the way, this was a personal message.

I'm not reading it out. I'm not reading anything personal. My address is 14 Boulevard Crescent, top floor with a blue, it's got a blue door.

And my telephone number is, it's obviously Germany, 496-321-5311. My credit card number is 4508-729-465-3421, expiry date 6-22. And the security number on the back is 522.

And I would tell you what star sign I am, but that's personal. I made all that up, by the way, don't, don't, you know, blimey. Just one thing concerning your gift me options.

Just by accident, I have a PayPal account at the moment. That is a question I had. How do you accidentally have a PayPal account? Anyway, I will delete this.

I will delete it soon. I know from other donations, there's an option in PayPal to pay without an account via credit card. Is there a possibility that you can implement that as well? I don't know.

Viola, did you hear that? Even the cat doesn't know. I think the cat might, the cat might be called Viola. You just said the cat just shouted no.

However, weird timing. So far from me, enjoy the spring season. Best regards from Germany, Viola.

Thank you. It's so lovely. It's a beautiful message.

And to receive some gifts is, you know what? It's lovely. It's nice to get gifts, isn't it? I don't know. I don't get many.

I do get, I'm very fortunate. I've got my, I don't like using the word fans. But, or followers, because fans seems like I feel like I'm some kind of a rock star.

Followers makes me feel like I'm like a religious cult or something. But admirers, that's better. And listeners, listeners.

But we can use fans, I think. I don't know. Whatever suits you.

I'm not that egotistical. I am. I blimmin' well am.

No, I'm not. Yes, I am. No, I'm not.

I don't know. I might be. I'm not sure.

But the people that follow what I do, and listen, the users, but again, I don't want to use, you know, the users of this service, or the users, the word user doesn't sound particularly flattering, does it? And I don't know what the correct word, but my customer base, then that would sound right if I was selling something, which I'm not. I don't have customers. So if you, we use the word fans or followers just for the sake of the argument.

It's not an argument, is it? It's only me arguing with myself, really. And the very, I got a very, again, it's a weird word, loyal. That sounds almost like a wrong word as well, but it's quite a good word, because we're very supportive.

Yeah, that'd be a better word than loyal. Supportive, but they are loyal. You are, you know, people that listen regularly, help me to pay for the podcast hosting, help me to pay towards the website, you know, that kind of stuff.

And listen regularly, that share the stuff, you know, re-share it on Facebook or Twitter, tell others about what I'm doing. You know, it's, I know that people out there are doing that, and I do appreciate it. So I'm quite lucky, but sometimes I forget, and sometimes I just hate you all.

No, I don't. Honestly, just being silly. You know I'm being silly.

Sometimes I don't appreciate, yeah, sometimes I don't appreciate what I've got, but that's human nature, isn't it? It's human to not always kind of, I think that's part of the, to appreciate something actually feels nice, doesn't it? To feel grateful is, it's a really nice feeling. It's almost like a buzzy feeling, like a real uplifting sensation, physically and emotionally, I find. But I like to have it happen naturally, because that's when I seem to get the biggest buzz.

You know, when I just suddenly remember, or maybe I, you know, maybe I get a message, like that message, or I get something, like a review left on my website, because I've got a review page where you can leave reviews, and tell me what you think and how I've maybe helped and stuff. I did have the ability to leave video reviews, but it costs £15 extra a month, which, leave my toes alone, Andre, stop it. Do you want to give me cuddles? No? He's gone underneath the chair.

All right, I don't want to cuddle you. No, there's no option. I'm not going to cuddle you.

Oh, okay, you want to cuddle? No, I don't want to either. Oh, you do? No, no, he's gone away. No, I don't either.

He's been so sleepy lately. But when he's awake, he's awake. Proper full on.

He's not been as agitated as he has been to go out. So I have took him out. I took him out once a day.

Once today, I went to the pet shop. Oh, he's a funny one. I've got a PayPal debit card.

The idea of it is that I can then use it in any extra little bits, like getting food for him, and, you know, it's a new debit card. And I knew there was stuff in there. There was enough money in there.

There was no money in my other bank. And normally I'd have to transfer from the PayPal into my bank so I can use the money. And the idea of getting the debit card is so that I can then set up, pay for stuff online with the debit card, the PayPal one.

That was the point of it. But because I ran out of all money on the bank, I just had to kind of tap into that to get him some food. Anyway, I go to the pet shop.

I take Andre for a walk with me. Not many people about. Well, there's no one about.

And I was thinking, because the thing is, when I'm outside, I can't generally smell my own farts. I just farted, and everyone's just keeping indoors. But then I'm thinking, well, I'd feel it, wouldn't I? You know, a powerful enough fart to empty a street, you generally feel the vibrations of that.

It shakes the ground, as well as your underpants. Anyway, I'm walking, walk to the pet shop. And I go in there, and I think, I'll get a couple of bags of dry food, because the shop's going to be closing.

I think they're closing twice a week, or Wednesday and Friday or something. And so I'm going to, I thought, today's was Tuesday, that was yesterday. So they're closed today, Wednesday.

So I'll get the stuff now. Got two bags of dry food, and a box of wet food, cat food with gravy. Now, the last time I got cat food from there, it had extra gravy.

And I was excited, because Andre loves the ones with gravy. Won't touch the cat food with jelly, literally won't touch it. What he will do is look at me in disgust.

Sometimes he walks over, and he wheezes on my foot and runs off, giggling. He doesn't like it, he doesn't like the jelly food. I'm sure actually once he actually, I thought he liked it, because he took a mouthful, and he walked towards me and just spat it at me.

It's like, what? Other times he'll just tip the bowl over, like when it's spat, you know, so it goes all over the floor. He will not eat it, doesn't like it. So I'm going to say, like, Dad, what? What is this crap? It's cat food.

Yeah, but what is it? It's crap. It's not crap, it's cat food. It's exactly the same as the other, it's just, it's not the same.

I said, it's not exactly the same, it doesn't have gravy. You haven't got to tell me it doesn't have gravy. I know it doesn't have gravy, because I just went to lick the gravy, and I got a mouthful of jelly.

What the hell was that about? I said, what? He said, look, that's the kind of crap that you'd have on toast during World War Two. I don't want to eat that. I said, I don't want lard, I don't want lard in my, in my dinner.

It's not lard, it's jelly. Might as well be lard. Dripping, it's dripping, isn't it? I said, kind of, I suppose, in a way, I suppose it probably is dripping.

So that's what people had in World War Two on toast. I said, I know, how do you know about that? He said, I have my sources. I said, sources? Okay, you mean Google? He said, I have my sources.

I don't have to reveal them to you. Oh, okay. So I try to avoid giving him the jelly ones, and those ones with double gravy, you know, not having anything of it, don't like it.

He is so fussy, it's ridiculous. So I've got, I bought, I think, 48, or like a four pack of those ones with double gravy. Won't touch them.

Only if I leave the food in there, and don't replace it, and don't give him anything else, he'll eventually give in and eat it, but he doesn't want to. So I ended up buying him some new stuff, just the proper, normal stuff that he likes, but I'm getting a little bit short. I've probably got enough for a couple of weeks.

And the shops don't always have the ones with gravy. Always got plenty, generally, always got plenty of the jelly ones, the ones with jelly or dripping. Now it's World War II, we used to have dripping on bread.

That's what my nanny used to say to me, which I think must have been quite, I don't know, almost good for you because she lived to be about 300 years old. But I think the dripping back then, it was, I think it was made out of the fat from like meat. So like the big cooked meal, and then the, I'm not sure, but it's like the jelly fat stuff that was left over, would be used on bread and stuff.

I did have some when I was young, because I am quite old. I was around during, yeah, Julius Caesar, I remember him being around. Yeah, Julius Caesar, Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus, rock me Amadeus.

I, what other thing? Yeah, so I went into the pet shop, just normal. Well, I say normally, I mean, I wasn't dancing, wasn't wearing stilts, I wasn't dressed as a clown. You know, I just went in normally this time, and they didn't recognise me.

But I went in there, and I got two bags of dry food, and he likes the dry food, especially when it's compared to the dry cat food. It's got a special name, it's cat litter, isn't it? He doesn't seem to like eating that. But I don't know why, I mean, it looks crunchy, but he won't eat it, but he likes the cat, he likes the ferret food, the ferret dry food.

And so I got some of that, two bags of that, and I said to one of the men in there, and I said, excuse me, mate? He said, yeah, mate, what is it? I said, well, I suppose you could do us a favour, could you? He said, what's that in? I said, none of this happened, I just said normally, you got any cat food? I did say quite high, I don't know why, it just happens sometimes. Honestly, I'll be talking, and I'll be going like that, I suppose you got any cat food with gravy, have you?

And then I have to try and get my voice back down to what I assume it normally is, and then I come back and I think, I wonder what it normally is like? I listen to a recording, because luckily I've got thousands of hours of me talking, I don't know if the word lucky would be connected to that, but, and it turns out I really do talk like that, which is quite surprising to me, because I thought I had a manly voice, like James Coburn, I was born under a wandering star. So, he said, yeah, we do have some.

I said, where is it? I can't see it. And he said, see what? I said, I can't remember what it is I asked you for. He said, how am I supposed to remember if you don't? I said, I don't know.

I started doing a James Coburn voice, in a high-pitched voice, and it threw me off the actual topic. He said, it's something about cat food, wasn't it? I said, yeah. Yeah, have you got any cat food with gravy? He said, yeah.

I might have actually worded it, have you got any cat food that doesn't possess jelly? I might have worded it like that. And he said, yes, we do have cat food that doesn't possess jelly. Jelly.

See, what you're missing out here now is the visuals. The facial expressions are gold. It's phenomenal, really.

You're missing out a lot. It's okay. It's fine.

And, you know, I used to record myself. I used to make videos. I did that for years, many years.

I made videos for the first... See, there's a cat outside now. Guaranteed. Well, not guaranteed, but there's about, I think, 10 cats around here.

The place is just full of pussy. It's ridiculous. They're everywhere.

Pussycats. And when I do a sleep recording, like a really a quiet one, maybe deep sleep whisper or weekly sleep hypnosis or something like that. Guaranteed you get a... I don't know what the right correct term or description would be.

But I don't know. Pussy fart probably is not the right word. It's like a big explosion of something that does actually makes me jump sometimes, actually wakes me up sometimes because I'm half asleep when I'm doing those recordings.

I really drift off and I talk and I drift off and I come back and I continue talking. And sometimes I wonder what I've talked about. Genuinely, I'm too lazy to go back and listen.

So hopefully nothing. I think it was all right. But then as you notice the feeling of your stomach relaxing, it's almost like there is a rope full of knots.

And with each out breath, the knots gradually untangle. And I wanted a bike when I was 13. And my dad said you can't have a bike because you didn't clean the car.

I never wanted to play tennis anyway. I said to the neighbor, I'm not peeping Tom, I'm just looking through the window. That's why a window is a see-through.

So I kind of look through them. And she said, it's my window. Why were you in the tree? And I often queued for food in that job I had.

And she called me professor because I had glasses on. Her name was Audrey, I think. And she also wore glasses.

It was almost like looking in the mirror, except we didn't look anything like each other and had different style of glasses. I don't want to unload the lorry. I want to have a break and have a coffee.

And I've only been at work for five minutes. I thought it would be time for a break. Oh, boss, I'm sorry I'm late.

I'm sorry I'm late back from lunch. I was looking in the shops, looking for something to buy you for your birthday. A nice birthday present.

Please forgive me. If you notice your legs relaxing and feeling calmer as it spreads down your knees. And it's that kind of stuff.

And suddenly I'm kind of, oh, I'm awake. And I don't know what I've just said. And it could be some weird stuff.

There's no way of knowing. Well, there is a way of knowing. I could listen.

But I've never been one to listen. I've always prided myself on being ignorant. It's one of my superpowers.

I'm not really ignorant. Not really. What I started doing, actually.

Oh, oh yeah. So I was in the pet shop. And the man said to me, oh yeah, we got these whiskers with gravy.

Now, Andre likes go-cat. But he will eat whiskers as well. He didn't used to.

But he came around to it. So he will eat whiskers as long as it's got gravy. Not double gravy.

Just normal gravy. Just, you know, the normal amount. And whiskers is normally a bit more expensive than go-cat.

Anyway, I said, yeah, I'll have that. Yeah. Very excited.

And then I took it to the counter. I was trying to hold Andre at the same time. He was wiggling like a ferret.

He was just like a ferret. And I said, do you mind if I put him on the floor? And the woman said, I don't work here. I said, all right.

You don't got to snap at me. She said, I'm not snapping. I'm just saying I don't work here.

Why does everyone think I work here? I said, well, you're standing behind the counter. She said, oh, wait a minute. I do work here.

Oh, I forgot. That was a strange conversation that didn't happen. And she said, yeah, put him on the floor if you like.

That'd be wonderful. It seemed a bit too keen. I wasn't sure about that.

Anyway, I put the stuff on the counter. And the card didn't work. The debit card didn't work.

I tried it again. Didn't work the second time. I put it into the machine and I tapped in a password number thing.

I think it's correct. I'm not sure though. And it didn't work.

And I said to them, what time do you close? And the boss, I think he's the boss, she said, we close at quarter to six. And it was about 22 minutes past five. So I said, well, what I'm going to do, I'm going to walk up to the garage, get some money out, and then come back.

Because I didn't have my phone on me. So I wasn't able to transfer the money into my account from the PayPal. So I'm not walking really quickly.

Get to the garage. The garage is, uh, yeah, it's just a garage, a walk, petrol station. And I walk around.

And, yeah, I must have had the right pass, pass number, because it let me in. But there was no money in there to draw out. Zero.

I had a zero balance, apparently, according to the machine. So I walk all the way back to the chip shop. And I realize that's the wrong shop.

It's a pet shop I need to go to. Why have I gone to the chip shop? And the man behind the counter says, I don't know why you're coming in. Most people come in to buy chips.

I said, yeah, I know, but I don't want any chips. He said, that's a bit rude. I said, it's not rude.

It's just factual. He said, yeah, but why are you in here then? I said, I'm not sure. I'll be honest.

I'll remember in a minute. And then I remembered it's the pet shop. So I went back to the pet shop.

And I said to the lady, the boss, the manager, owner, I don't know who, but I've seen her before. She said, well, I saw her, you know, 10 minutes ago. And I said to her, she was outside.

And I said, I couldn't get any money. Either, because you're closed tomorrow. She said, yes.

How do you know? I said, well, you told me. She said, oh, was that you, was it? I said, yeah. She said, how come you're not wearing stilts and the clown costume? I said, oh, that's another, that's a conversation for another day.

She said, all right. Well, can't you at least do a little bit of dancing, a bit of tap dancing? I said, no, I haven't got time. She said, look, my granddad said to me, I remember he said to me, he wrote this letter.

He was stranded on a mountain. And he wrote me a letter. He wasn't sure if he was going to get rescued.

He was rescued. But he was up there for about six years. Anyway, he wrote a letter and he gave it to me anyway.

Well, actually, he made a paper airplane and he attached it to a paper airplane. And he chucked it down a mountain and it just happened to fly through my window, the other side of the world, which was quite unfortunate. Anyway, what he said in that letter is, there's never a bad time to tap dance.

I said to her, you're making that up, aren't you? She said, no. I said, oh, okay. I said, listen, I just want you to know what you want me to do.

I can't get to the money today. Because you're closing, aren't you? I haven't got time to go home and come back. Plus, I don't think I want to, I'll be honest with you.

She said, okay. I said, no, don't, you seem like you let down. I said, yeah, I feel a little bit.

But don't, no, it's fine. I'll come and see you Thursday. She said, oh, okay.

You promise? I said, no. And I said, I can put this stuff back on the shelf. Or if you want to put this stuff behind a counter for me, I'll come in Thursday and get it.

Actually, I think I said, if you want to put this stuff behind a counter, would you want me to put it back on the shelf? I think I said it in that order. And she said, can you please put it back onto the shelf? I thought she was going to say, I'll put it behind a counter or don't worry. I'll get my staff to put it back on the shelf.

No. I was very shocked. I was so shocked.

And so I put the stuff back on the shelf. And then I came home. You know, it worked out okay.

I've got enough food for him. I've got, you know, to last, I've got much dry food, but it's enough to last in a couple of days until Wednesday or Thursday when I go and buy that for him. And the wet food is enough there to last him at least two weeks.

It just means he'll be eating stuff that he doesn't like, which doesn't hugely bother me, funny enough. Gives me a sense of, no, it doesn't give me anything. I just, I don't understand how he'll can like a cat food with gravy, but not like the exact same cat food, but with extra gravy.

The same make, go cat. Exactly the same, except it's just got a bit more gravy. And the extra gravy is supposed to be the money shot.

You know, it's kind of the hook, the reason to purchase that particular retail item. But Andro's having none of it. Nipped it right in the bud.

He said, what is this? Wait, what is it? What is it? He's got such an attitude on him. He really has. It's real, real.

But hopefully he'll be all right. He's, he goes through periods. And sometimes he just won't eat his food at all.

Other times he will eat and eat and eat. And if I kept putting food out, he'd keep eating it. But in those periods, I have to try and refrain from giving him too much cat food so that he eats the dry food because he needs both.

But if he's got cat food, it'll always eat the cat food over the dry food because he prefers it. There's gravy, it tastes, not too much gravy, obviously. And I actually thought, what if I tip out some of the gravy so that the extra gravy is no longer in there? So I'm in the kitchen doing that.

I heard his voice shout out, I know what you're doing. It's like, I can't win. He can't fool me.

I said, why? How would you know? He said, it tastes different. I couldn't argue with that. I mean, that's the kind of thing, isn't it? If something tastes different.

And let's face it, it's his little tummy that has the food. He deserves to eat something that he enjoys. So that's what I try to do.

Try to give him something that he likes. Although he'd very much enjoy to just eat lots of chocolate and milk and whipped cream. Ideally, he'd love that, but it's not any good for him, so he can't.

It gives him runny poo. So yeah, I don't mean like the poo's running away, mind you. I imagine if he was a poo, and he finally got out of the bum, you'd want to run, wouldn't you? To get away.

Don't put me back. Anyway, and... Dear, oh dear. Deary, deary me.

I got caught up a tree. I looked down, I noticed my top was down, and my nipples were all frilly. I don't know what that means.

I was trying to rhyme. I was trying to whine, but the whine didn't work. So, thank you.

Thank you very much. Remember to be kind to yourself, because you deserve to be happy. Do something nice for yourself today or tomorrow.

Lots of love. Bye.