#323 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (5th February 2020)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

Please subscribe to this podcast and I'll just put that down there for a second, have a quick drink. There's been a couple of changes to what I'm doing. Okay, first of all, first of all, the adverts are now back on the podcasts.

It's going to be popular for some people and it's solely to finance, you know, to cover the costs. I have to do something, so that's what I'm doing. And it's only at the beginning of podcasts, so that's just it.

At the very beginning, there won't be any adverts during the session, during the recording, or at the end of the recording, just at the beginning. So that's that. My website's now changed.

It's in the process of changing. I'm just waiting for it to be processed at the moment. But the changes are, it's now a podcast.

So the website, jasonnewland.com, is now a podcast with all of my recordings that I have, you know, from way back in the day. So there's over a thousand recordings. And it's basically a subscription website.

So you can go on now, you know, you can actually go onto the website, but you can't play or download anything unless you subscribe. You can still play all the recordings on the podcasts, you know, the other podcasts you get, Spotify, iTunes, Google, and all that stuff. But it's limited in a sense of, the only way you can listen without adverts would be to subscribe.

And also, you'll have access to more recordings because most podcasts only have 250 recordings listed. And I've got a lot more than that. So yeah, so it's going to be, there's going to be adverts on the podcasts.

In order to listen without the adverts, you can subscribe to the website at $9.99 a month. $9.99 a month in dollars, US dollars. And it'll just, you know, when you go in there, it'll just allow you to subscribe, sign up and log in.

And it's, you know, it's a professional website. Everything's taken care of, it's secure. So, you know, for example, if you lost your password or anything like that, you just go through the same process as you would with any other website like Facebook or, you know, it's just the same as anyone else, anywhere else.

I've got it with Podbean. So it's, it's a good, good host. So that's, that's it.

It's not up in money yet. I'm still in the process of doing a few tweakings on it. And it's not coming up yet when you put in my website, for some reason, and I've contacted the admin or the technical department of Podbean just to try and figure out why my domain name's not working.

There's sometimes it takes 48 hours and it's only been 24 hours. Do you hear the Ondo do a little sneezing? Does the cutest little sneezes. He really does.

I forget how little he is. It's when he makes his noises like really squeaks. So that's it really.

That's not it for the recording, but that's the latest. So it makes sense really. I need to cover the costs and I want to continue doing this.

And this seems to be the best way to do it. So I'm not going to sell recordings separately, like I did on my other website, or like I, I sort of planned to do at some point. It's an, everything's going to be, as I said, it's going to be a podcast where you can subscribe and you can, as a download as many recordings as you want, and you can stream and download.

So I guess if you was about to go on holiday and you knew that you didn't have, you wouldn't have access to the internet, then you could just download some recordings onto your phone and listen to them while you're on holiday or, you know, as an example. Oh, so yeah, that's what I've been doing today. So I've, it's not all about money all the time, but it's about trying to sort of reduce my outgoings.

And with the podcasts, just Spruka alone costs me 70, 72 dollars a month, I think it is, or 76 dollars monthly. And so, you know, I'm paying out over 100, 120 dollars, or 150 dollars a month or something like that. It's all varies depending on what I've come paying for.

I was using a headliner which is, it turns podcasts into videos, makes them a lot more nicer. But I've got rid of that now. But that was, I think that was 12 pound a month.

I got rid of podcast.co. So that was good for transcribing, but I don't need to transcribe. You know, that was what I was going to try and use to write a book. But, you know, I don't think, I'm not sure if it's ever going to happen.

You know, the idea of actually writing, I don't know if I'm, I don't know if I'm ever going to do it. So I got rid of that and I got rid of SoundCloud podcast. So back to basics, but it's still, you know, it's still costing a fair bit.

And so yeah, that's it. I'll stop talking about that now. So yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, a little message. I'm tired. I feel a bit more tired tonight than what I normally do for some reason.

I don't know. Don't know why. What is the time? It's 1.30 or something.

Is it 1.30? I don't know. Anyway, it's too early for me to be feeling entirely odd. So I might have, I might have an early night.

I might have an early night. But I might not. I'm still really kind of impressed with the relaxation hypnosis of stress and anxiety and panic attacks.

I'm not going to say the word stats, but this is becoming more and more popular. I can't figure it out. I'm doing something right, but I don't know what I'm doing.

But you know, this one's my little baby. This Let Me Bore You To Sleep is kind of my little, I don't know what it is. There's something a bit special about this to me.

Because it's not, well, in my mind, there's no expectations. It's just me talking about stuff, which is, okay. Anyway, what I wanted to talk about today is etiquette.

And the reason for this is because I watched a TV program earlier about the, I don't know, some big hotel in London, one of the most famous hotels. And this man was on there talking about etiquette, like table etiquette and, you know, which fork and knife and spoon to eat with what dish. And I think he had BMW, bread for the left, meal for the middle, and W for water on the right.

Of your person, so you don't drink the other person's drink. Or W for wine, the independent. And he was talking about etiquette, like in the old days.

And it used to be a thing, you don't put your elbows on the table. Now, I was told that when I was a kid. But actually, the reason behind it, this man said, was because tables were wonky back then.

They weren't stable. So if you put your elbows and lint on a table, it'd potentially tip over. Thinking about it, I thought everyone would want to have their elbows on the table to steady it.

But then it got me thinking, you know, I like thinking about beliefs and stupid stitions and the kind of things that are just really ridiculous that humans kind of believe. And etiquette seems to be within that sort of superstitious kind of realm, like old, outdated, pointless things that are still passed on for no reason. But it used to have a valid reason.

See, so, okay, so here's the one, here's an etiquette. I'm getting this from a website called spruce.com. And it's a history of the most common etiquette rules. Now, I thought this would be mildly interesting.

Okay, bearing in mind that society, I don't know if all societies, but have these etiquette, their own etiquette rules, which really seem to mean a lot to the people. But I want to look back into the history to see what the reason for it was, and whether or not that reason is, means anything now. And there was one, my nan, she used to like me to stand, when I was on the pavement, or sidewalk, if you don't pronounce pavement rightly.

And she used to like to be on the inside of me, be on the outside. And I said, why? She said, well, what do you think? I said, well, I suppose if a car came onto the pavement, it'd hit me first, but I'd rather it hit you first, really. I mean, I don't want to get hit by a car.

I didn't say that at all, I didn't. And she said no, it was because in the old days, you know, probably, probably not even her childhood, probably before that, before cars were invented, and horse and carts used to spray a lot of horse manure and stuff on the floor, you know, and people on the pavement would get sprayed by this, you know, poo, horse poo. So therefore, the man took the spray, and the woman didn't.

And I'm thinking, I don't really see the point in that, there's no, that's not logical. Why, why would, why should I take, what, I don't, why? And she said, just do it, Jason. There are no horse and carts anymore, unless you go out to some of the rural parts of England, where horse and carts are still around.

Or some cultures still use horse and carts. But ultimately, she said, just do it. Do what I say, not what I say.

I said, that doesn't make sense. And then she said, doesn't have to make sense. Just get it done.

Okay, okay. So that's, that's what I used to do, used to stand, stand on the outside near the road, just in case a horse and cart run, you know, run past, and sprayed me with whatever. So this one says, remove your hat when entering a building.

Back in the day, when folks, no one uses the word folks today. I knew someone who used that word once. I was in the Buddhist center, and she said, okay, folks, folks.

No, no, maybe not in, not in the southeast, we do not use the word folks. No, it's not a term. In the same way, we don't write on a letter, or an email, dearest beloved, you know, that, that's not going to happen.

If you get an email starting with dearest beloved, you know, it's a scam. Or someone that uses the term dearest beloved. So back in the day, when folks walked around dusty dirt roads, or industrial cities with soot in the air, soot in the air, the hat caught a lot of grime that would fall on the floor when they entered a room.

Back then, it made sense to remove the hat and leave it on a rack in the entryway or cloakroom to prevent this from happening. The only time you absolutely must follow this rule now is when your hat obstructs someone's view. Or if you are in a social situation that makes it awkward not to do so.

If you are in a social situation with someone who frowns on wearing hats indoors, it's good form to remove your hat out of respect. But why are they frowning on wearing a hat indoors? Because they don't actually understand the reason for it. And it's not interesting.

So there was a real reason for it, you know. In the old days, the industrial places, they were, I'm just repeating what I just said, in the industrial cities, there was a lot of soot in the air, you know. A lot, you know.

A coal mine in industrial places. And it'd get onto your hat, as it'd probably get onto your jacket and your coat as well. And your shoes.

So, you know, you didn't want to walk in with your hat on. Everyone's happy at the dinner table. You look down at your dinner plate, a lot of dust just in the soot and the coals and whatever else falls.

Telephone wires fall off your hat. Pigeons and stuff, just, you know, onto the table. I remember my brother, my eldest brother, he had, I had two older brothers when I was born.

They're both older. My oldest brother, he had a trilby hat he bought. I bought one as well to copy him.

And I was probably 15 at the time. So he'd be about, or 16. So he was about 19.

Yeah. And he went to my nan and granddad's and he had a hat on. So he was sitting there at the dinner table and my granddad was saying, take your hat off.

And my brother said, no, take your hat off. No, take your hat off. And eventually he took his hat off.

Now that was kind of a standoff that no one's going to win other than my granddad. He was, you know, it's his house and he was, he was never going to back down. But in the same way, it's kind of pathetic in a kind of, from a reality perspective, what would it have mattered if he had turned up in a clown suit? It doesn't matter.

You know, he's just coming around. What does it matter what he's wearing? Would be my thinking. But, you know, not everybody gets stuck, don't they? We get, we all do.

We all get stuck, don't we, sometimes in these pointless thoughts and beliefs. The thing is a nice, it was a nice hat. But I think they move from etiquette to manners.

It's good manners to move your hat when it's inside someone's abode. But why? And then you break it down. Well, the other person is happier when you do it.

So it's not really good manners. It's just appeasement. Don't wear white after Labor Day.

I've got no idea what Labor Day is. We don't have that here. Where are, there are a few couple of theories about why people didn't wear white after Labor Day.

One of them being the temperature. Since lighter colors tend to reflect heat and darker colors absorb heat, absorb heat. I don't know, when is Labor Day then? Since lighter colors tend to reflect heat and darker colors absorb heat, it makes sense, made sense many years ago.

Don't wear white after Labor Day. I don't know, it doesn't make sense to me. However, with air conditioning and heat and being available to keep people comfortable year round, it isn't necessary to worry about that.

Also, some of the, this is boring me, I can't read the rest of it. Sit with your ankles crossed. Sit with your ankles crossed.

Is this something you've heard of? Sit with your ankles crossed. Mothers and grandmothers used to tell the girls that they should always sit up straight with their ankles crossed in a ladylike fashion. While sitting up straight is a good rule, the crossed ankles are no longer necessary.

Just remember that if you're wearing a short dress, keep your knees together to prevent showing more than you need to. So, sitting with your ankles crossed. I'm sure some of this stuff is just to get people to, to obey you, isn't it? Because maybe less so now, but I kind of get the idea that in the old days that children were very much kind of treated like dogs as far as training them.

You know, train them to repeatedly do a certain behavior and then they do it, but without, some of it's just not logical. Like, well, make sure you sit with your legs crossed, you know, wear pants at the dinner table, just, I don't get it. So it says here, men should walk on the side, the street side of the sidewalk to protect women, which is something I just said.

And here it says, back when horse and buggy were the normal mode of transportation, men often protected ladies from the street perils by providing a shield from horses and puddle splashes. That is obviously no longer necessary. So walk on whichever side of the sidewalk you are comfortable with.

Well, thank you. It's very kind of you to offer, to give me the choice. It's nice.

Very, very, very pleasant of you. Oh, this is interesting. Well, so I don't know what the reason for this is.

Pulling out a lady's chair, never going to happen unless she's not looking and, you know, just so she falls over. But I've had people do that to me and it's not, it's not good, but it is hilarious for everybody else. It's one of those things.

I think I just, I just cracked my coccyx, but I'm glad everyone else is having a good time. I'm just going to be in pain for six weeks. Lovely.

Thank you. Pulling out a lady's chair, sexist. High society women once wore such restrictive clothing that they were unable to sit at a table without assistance from gentlemen they were with.

Ah, so they weren't able to bend down and sort of maneuver themselves a bit like a penguin, a penguin, a penguin in a miniskirt or something. Yeah. Now that women are much more likely to wear pants or loose, see it says loose skirts, but it's not loose, loose.

L-O-O-S-E. That's loose. Lose.

L-O-S-E is lose. I think I'm going to lose this wet t-shirt contest. I've said that a few times.

I always do lose. There was that one time I did win, but anyway, they don't, they don't, they don't need this type of help any longer. So pulling out a lady's chair is outdated, completely pointless and ridiculous.

However, it is still a nice gesture to assist someone who's, yeah, but the thing is, I didn't realize where this was going. I thought they were going to say, it's still nice to, to give the gesture to, you know, uh, put a chair out for someone. It's just a nice, nice thing to do.

But no, they're talking about helping people who are disabled or overwhelmed with packages of children. Packages, groups of children or packages. I mean, that's a package.

That's like a box sealed up with wrapping paper, ready to be posted. Overseas, you know, packages of children. The same holds true for holding doors and helping with packages.

You've got to think about packages, this writer, regardless of your gender. See, I don't think holding a door for someone is, I didn't do it as an etiquette. I, I think holding a door open for someone is a human thing.

Is it not? Is it just a, although I do have a rule, I have a spatial rule. So let's say if I go into a shop or go into the garage, depending on how many footsteps away the person is from behind me, depends on whether I keep the door open. So if they're, I'd say five seconds is kind of the maximum.

If they're going to be more than five seconds, then I just let the door close. 10 seconds is too long to be waiting. I actually wait for someone the other day and I thought, no, I'm not going to, I'm not going to abide by my rule.

It's Christmas. I want to do something different to celebrate the Christmas and celebrate the birth of Buddha. I'm going to do something different.

So I kept the door open for this bloke that was just walking towards the garage, having bought some petrol or something. So I'm still standing there and he's walking slowly. My Christmas spirit is, is rapidly declining as I'm waiting.

And he turns left and he goes to the cash point machine to get some money out or I don't know, whatever people do there. I've never been so angry. I was so angry.

He didn't even acknowledge the fact that I was standing there with the door open. I don't know what I thought I was doing. Did he think I was, what, just exercising, just practicing my holding the door open technique? This stupid tablet thing keeps turning itself off.

I need to go into the settings to stop it from turning itself off so, so quickly. So yeah, so I think the bottom line for this one is do not pull out a lady's chair because it's stupid and there's no point to it. Yeah, I think that's what we get from that.

I think I do, I have done it ironically because I'm doing it sort of to make fun of the tradition. But at the same time, the person I'm doing it to might quite like it. I mean, I had a girlfriend once.

So now the next one is never point your finger or stare at someone. No, I had a girlfriend once. I'm going to come back to that.

And she said to me once, she said to me, Jason. I said, yeah. She said, how come you never? No, she didn't expect that.

How, how, how? She said, Jason, how come you never say, you never call me a name like sweetheart or love or babes? She was from Norway. And she said, why? She said, I just wanted to know. I said, I said, I've stopped.

I can't do accents really. I even go to try and I start laughing. And she said, why, why don't you call me babes or love or sweetheart? Or I said, why? Or what, what would be the point? She said, Bruce, that's what people do, isn't it? I said, people do a lot of things.

She said, yeah, true. But that's not really, I mean, we can't have a conversation about everything that people do. I said, why are you focused on this particular thing? She said, well, I've noticed.

That's something I've noticed. I said, I've noticed things too, you know, but I don't bring those up. She said, what do you mean? I said, doesn't matter.

Just as long as you know. I've noticed. She said, you're just, it's winding me up.

I said, I know, I know. You don't know, it's nothing. And she said, why, why don't you call me sweetheart or babes? And I said, well, if I did that, it'd be false, wouldn't it? Wouldn't it call me love? Or I said, no, it'd be false.

She said, why? I said, because I don't love you. She said, I said, I said it'd be false because I'd be, it wouldn't be me. I've never, ever called a woman babes or sweetheart or love or darling or anything like that ever in my entire life.

Never. I call Andre darling and sweetheart and babes beautiful and stuff, but you know, he is. So I call him those names, but I've never called a human being that.

Just, no, it just, it's not, if I did it, it'd be false. It'd be fake. I mean, it's like, I'd have to try and remember hello, morning, um, um, sweetheart.

It's just, you know, I don't know. It just doesn't, it's just so, you know, don't sound right to me. Um, my dad does that, but he's, he's just the way he's got that.

I think he, he calls his wife sweetheart or darling or love or something. And he calls me son. I personally don't think he remembers anyone's names.

So he just like, you know, because that's the problem, isn't it? Imagine if you just start calling someone babes or darling, or if you've got like a, well, she said, well, you don't have to use those names. You can just have a little pet name for me. I said, well, like Rover? He said, no.

So what do you mean Rover? That's a pet, isn't it? Dog. Are you calling me a dog? No, I'm not calling you a dog. It's just a pet name, isn't it? What other names are there? I don't know.

I can only just think of Rover. Can't actually think of any other dog's names. I call you Popeye.

Popeye? Why would you want to call me Popeye? What's wrong with my eye? Well, now you mention it, nothing is wrong with your eye. It's not nothing wrong with your eye. It's that was the name of my goldfish when I was a kid.

When I said pet names, it's just another term for affection, you know, affectionate nicknames for your partner. Yeah, but I don't even, I don't call you by your name. She said, I know.

Well, do you not know my name? I said, of course I do. She said, what is it? I said, it's not a quiz. Don't be ridiculous.

I know what your name is. She said, what is it? I said, I know what you, I want to play this game. I know what your name is.

You know what my name is. Of course we know each other's names. And luckily she just moved on and didn't push me.

And I said, besides, why do I, why have I got to say your name? She said, what do you mean? I said, well, if I'm talking to you, why would you need me to say your name when I'm talking to you? And no one, no one ever has ever been able to answer that. You really need me to say your name when I'm actually talking to you. If I'm trying to get your attention and I'm, you know, a hundred yards away, I'm probably not going to shout oi.

I'm probably not going to shout babes or sweetheart either, because it's 2020 and that kind of terminology died many years ago. But you know, some people still use it. You know, what babes? You know what darling? Sweetheart? You know what love? And because I'm so posh, I didn't use such a vulgar terminology.

And she said, you're just full of crap. I said, stop, shush, shush. Stop it.

Don't be rude. And I said, I don't say your name, do I? She said, I say your name. I said, I know.

Why do you say my name when it's just me and you at a restaurant table talking? Why do you say my name? Do you think I'm going to think you're talking to the breadsticks, to the knife and fork, to the tablecloth? I won't realise you're actually talking to me. And then you say my name and I'm like, oh, you got my attention. Sorry.

Didn't realise you were talking to moi. So she said, you do that rant too often. You go on and on about the saying the name when you're actually having a conversation with someone.

There's nothing wrong with it. People do it. Get over it.

I said, all right, I'm just mentioning it. She said, it's got nothing to do with what we were talking about. And she had, there was this one time, I always remember this.

I don't know why. Well, I do know why. I had to have a, with this particular person and I'll never do this again because she didn't do what I, she forced, well, she pushed me into doing something that I didn't push her into doing, is to have a, we're going to call it a checkup.

Okay. A checkup. But it's not a checkup from the neck up.

It's a checkup from the, from the legs up. And just to make sure that there wasn't any anything lingering. So I had that done.

Never had anything like that before. And it was, it was definitely a new experience. And then a test came through and I was, because I couldn't do anything until the tests were cleared, until everything was fine.

I'd say do anything. I couldn't, couldn't do some things that we both wanted to mutually, you know, go and watch a movie and, you know, stuff like that. So standing outside Argos, when I got a phone call, well, I phoned a place up, this, I just say a health, a health clinic.

And they said, yeah, everything's fine. And, you know, 50-50 on syphilis, but we'll let you know another time. I said, that one is fine.

It's okay. So I said, I phoned up my girlfriend and said, it's all fine. It's all done.

It's done. It's good. And she said, okay.

And I said, you know, after going through all this, because I wasn't sure, because I, you know, I didn't know what was going to come up, who knows. And I said to my girlfriend, this statement, I genuinely said this to her, I said, you know what? After going through this and getting the all clear, if some woman jumped out of the bushes right now, and said, come on, let's, let's, you know, let's dance, as it were, you know, I'd think twice about doing it now. She said, plus you have a girlfriend.

I was like, oh, I completely forgot who I was talking to. That's happened in the past. I was on a date with someone, went into a shop and I walked out without her.

I forgot, I forgot I was with her. It's true. I walked out without her because she went to get something and I went to a different part of the shop, didn't find what I wanted.

And I just started walking out because I'm used to being on my own. I'm not used to being with other people. She didn't seem very impressed.

I don't understand it. I thought it was funny. I perhaps should have tried to make up an excuse, you know, why, but I was honestly, I was like the other side of the road.

I was halfway home by the time she got out of the door, out of the shop. I didn't know, did I? I don't know what the expectations are. I mean, that's where I come back to etiquette.

What is the etiquette? I never know when the right time to do things are sometimes. There used to be a time, used to be a time when I could kind of tell signals or understand some signals. But usually it's has to be very, very basic and very obvious to the point of the person saying to me what they want or, you know, that they like me and they want, you know, otherwise I don't know.

I don't, I don't pick up on the subtle signals that some people seem to do. I generally don't know. If you just say it or don't say it, I just need to know.

I can't, I can't, I'm no good at playing those kind of games because I just get bored really quickly. You know, I just, I prefer honest, I suppose it's honesty, but up frontedness and, you know, the amount of women that I've loved, secretly loved, I mean, and never, never been able to tell them. It's been a few over the years and which makes me wish I was able to do what I want other people to do.

So yeah, it's kind of double standards really, isn't it? It's kind of, I, I can't understand what other people's intentions are, but at the same time, there's times I expect other people to understand what my intentions are. That's not even fair, is it? That's not illogical. That's not, how can it be, how can I expect that when other people don't make sense? I really am a rutter.

So this next one is never point your finger or stare at someone. Some ancient, ancient cultures considered it rude to point to someone because it directed evil spirits towards the subject. Staring was often considered giving someone the evil eye.

Although these myths have dispelled, most societies still consider finger pointing and staring to be rude. Staring is understandable. You know, if you're, if someone's just blatantly just staring at you, it's uncomfortable, isn't it? Loads of people have told me it is.

And the finger pointing, it's just ridiculous. Like I've had that been told to me, don't point your finger at me. It doesn't mean anything.

I've even seen people get really upset. Because basically, like a dog, you know, Pavlov, Bell, and learn from just, you know, this reinforcement. Unless get angry when someone points their finger at me, because my daddy got angry when, when I pointed my finger at him.

And his daddy got angry when he pointed his finger as his daddy and therefore I must get angry. And I'm not going to question it. I refuse to question things.

I don't care if I have a brain, I refuse to use it. Oh, here's another one. This winds me up.

And I don't do it specifically, because I know it winds other people up. And I won't do it. Blessing someone after a sneeze.

Now, it says Gesundheit, which is, sounds German. Doesn't it sound Gesundheit? Well, sounds I don't know, but I know it means sort of people say that in some countries, but I've never said it here. I don't think we do.

But God bless you. Never use the word God. But bless you.

So bless you. That's something that has been ingrained. And I know it's a completely pointless thing.

And I know exactly what it means. But I'm gonna see what it reads here. Then I'm gonna tell you what I have been told.

It was once thought that the person would lose part of his soul with each sneeze and bad health would fall over the person. Gesundheit is German for wishing someone good health. All right, so Gesundheit is good health.

And wishing someone good health to prevent them from getting sick. God bless you is a more spiritual protection. Once thought to keep the soul intact.

Few people believe this today, or they may not know why they say it, but it's still considered a polite thing to say. I don't say it because ridiculous. And I was told that it was, you say it so that the devil can't get into the soul because at that point of sneezing.

Then blah, blah, blah, blah. It's just ridiculous. It's absolutely sad.

That limiting that we have and we pass it on. Pass it on to the kids and to the grandkids and to the next generation. Passing on these pointless, pointless things.

Someone sneezes. Instead of saying God bless you or Gesundheit, we should be saying cover your bloody face with your hand. Aim that sneeze away from me.

Go home until you stop sneezing. We should be telling them off for spreading their germs. Not saying God bless you, my son, Gesundheit.

Oh, here's one. Here's a good one. A man should always pay.

Oh, by the way, I never say bless you to anybody ever when they sneeze. I don't say the other stuff either. I don't say cover your mouth, dirty pig.

I don't do that. But I do because that would be rude. I don't upset people.

I'm all about the people. So a man should always pay. But then some people get upset.

Especially if you're in a group and five people say bless you, bless you, bless you, bless you. And I'm the only one there and I say nothing. It seems to be there's some comedy sketches, Curb Your Enthusiasm, where he, I don't know if you've ever seen it, it's Larry David and there's a serviceman and the, it's like the son of a family that they're visiting and they're all saying, thank you for your service, which is something that we don't say in this country.

It's sort of a thank you for your service. And all of them one after another saying thank you for your service to this serviceman. I think it was like the army or RAF or whatever.

And Larry David just said nothing. And they just went off on him, really got upset. It's that kind of thing where just we say what we want to say, we don't have to partake in these rituals.

And actually it doesn't mean anything if you say it on rote. It has no meaning unless you mean it. So just saying it, it doesn't mean nothing.

You're going to thank someone for what they do, mean it. I thanked an ambulance driver the other day. I said, you're heroes, you are.

Thank you for your service. I said, no, I didn't. I said, you know, you're brilliant.

But I meant it. But I wouldn't say it to every single ambulance or paramedic person that I meet. Thank you for your service.

Thank you for what you do. Even though I do believe that they're all brilliant. I wouldn't say it because it wouldn't sound genuine.

It would sound like, have a nice day. Have a nice day. How can I help you today? How can I help you today? What can I do for you today? Did you find everything you need today? Did you find everything you were looking for today? You know, it's, it's rote.

It's just repetitive, repetitive. A man should always pay. Back in the day when men and women, men had carers, men had careers, and women didn't.

Women didn't, although they often had jobs to tide them over until Mr. Wright came along. Men were expected to pick up the tab for dinner, a movie, or anything else they did on a date. That rule is clearly outdated.

Not for everyone it isn't. The bill can be paid by him, her, or split down the middle. Why is split down the middle called Dutch? That's something I need to look into as well.

Because Dutch, I mean it's, it's a language isn't it? Dutch. As in Deutsch, Dutchland, Dutch, um, Holland, yeah, Hollandish, yeah. And the rule is clearly outdated.

The bill can be paid by men and women. It doesn't matter who pays as long as someone does. Some people still hold on to the rule that the man always paying, that the man always pays, which is fine as long as the person they are with is of the same mindset.

With the price of everything out, outpacing salary increases, it makes more sense for people to pay their own way, or at least take turns. Now, if I'm out with a friend, which is really rare these days because I don't really have any friends nowadays, but, you know, in the past when I used to have human contact, sometimes I would buy a drink for them. I mean, like, not in a pub, but in a, in a coffee, you know, cafe bar, you know, cafe shop, coffee place.

And I buy them, sometimes I buy them food, if I've got money. Other times, I just get my own. You get your own, I get mine.

Because, especially if you've both got no money. But, but, but, but, but, if I'm out with a lady, I pay. Not, not because it's, not because I'm earning more than a lady, because chances are I'm probably not actually.

Not because I'm sexist. Although, of course, I am hugely sexist, very, very sexist. Sometimes I can't stop looking in the mirror, I'm so sexist.

Just, and it's not that, it's not even that I've got these stupid out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, outmoded ideas of being chivalrous. Chivalrous-less, chival, chivalry-less-less. Because I'm not.

There's no shriveling, shrivel, there is shrivel, shrivel parts of me. There's no, I'm not a hero. I'm not a gentleman.

I'm not particularly now, I'm not any of those things really, but I like to be nice, I like to do something nice, you know, and if I'm taking someone out, I think part of it is if it's my idea, let's go here, then I've kind of taken a little bit of control over the expense of the meal, because if it was up to her, we might have gone somewhere, well, it's not that it was up to me, but I'm not really controlling, but she might have chosen somewhere else, and I went round to like a

first date with a lady, and I thought we was going to go out and have something to eat, I had money, I didn't have a lot of money, but I had enough to sort of, you know, get some food, we could have gone out to the cinema, and she made soup, soup and a couple of slices of bread, and I don't know why, but I've never recovered from that, I just never, like, have you not seen my belly, I do not live on soup, soup is a starter, soup and bread are both starters, in fact,

bread's not even a starter, it's just a side, it's something you eat while you wait for the starter, so yeah, and I like paying, I don't know, maybe it kind of feels like I'm paying for their time, maybe, I don't know, maybe that's a weird kind of way of looking at it, probably not a very, very emotionally stable way to look at it, but, I don't know, I just, if I had money, I would always pay, but then I would always pay for my dad, and I would pay for friends, I just do it, you

know, whoever's got the most money pays, kind of, you know, well not always, but I just, if I've got the money, I'll just, I'll spend it, as long as she doesn't point at me, because it would make me so angry, so I don't know what other things, you know, I used to, I had a, actually it wasn't, no I did, I had a date, I used to date a solicitor in London many years ago, so she had money and I had nothing, and pretty much like now really, and she used to like go into nice

places, and that's the thing, if she'd have stayed at my level, my level was unemployed, that was what my level was at that time, her level was a solicitor, earning good money, working for a law firm, and she had nice clothes, and she had a car, and she had, you know, she lived in a nice house, her level of lifestyle was a lot, was a higher level of lifestyle than mine, I was living in a little room in a house, and she, I don't think she even wanted to meet me half way, to be fair,

she just wanted to go out and have fun and go somewhere nice, so I did, I went along with her, and she paid, and I let her pay, I didn't let her pay, it was pay or do a runner, or do the washing up in the restaurant, and it got to the point where I stopped looking at the menu, I said I'm going to stop looking at the menu, she said well how are you going to know what there is to eat, I said yeah that's true, I suppose I should look at the menu, but

I stopped sort of taking notes of the cost, because if I knew that the meal had come to like £100, which to me is a heck of a lot of money for a meal, for two of us, but you know with the wine, this is 20 odd years ago, I feel, well I kind of know that I should feel guilty, I wouldn't, but I kind of have that like pressure to feel somewhat guilty, or that I should be paying something towards it, but I didn't, I didn't feel that pressure, but if I'd have had money,

I would have paid for it, but I knew that I couldn't, but I paid for the, yeah I tried to pay for the condoms, so that was okay, no actually she paid for the, paid for the morning after pill, no I didn't, so I'm going to go, thank you very much for listening and all that stuff, yeah I'm just going to go, and just a quick message to my friend, unless she's listening to this, Rachel Elizabeth, chin up me old mate, that's what I've got to say there, you know Rachel's, if you know Rachel, she's

on, if you see her, sort of like in my posts, maybe send her a little get well wish, or I hope you feel better wish if you fancy it, because she's not doing great at the moment, but I hope you're feeling better soon, and make sure you look after yourself, do something nice for yourself today, be kind to yourself, because what do I say, you deserve to be happy, and you do, and also you're one of my biggest fans, so you need to stick around to be healthy, because I know that when perhaps everyone else

has gone, you'll still be here, it might just be me and you, but we'll still be here, I know that you're going to stick with me forever and ever and ever, me and my little Irish, I know you're not Irish, but my little northern friend, so just stick, stick to remembering, and listen to some of my podcasts, because these ones are just me being silly aren't they, but if you listen to the relaxation ones, you know I'm much more serious on those, and well I'm serious on those, not always serious, but you know, they might

be useful to reduce anxiety and stress and increase relaxation, I thought about making one tonight, but I don't know if I want to make any recordings for a while, so I might have a little break, but thank you for listening, take care of yourselves everybody, and I'll speak to you soon, bye bye bye, lots of love.