#327 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (9th February 2020)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is jasonnewland.com and this is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.com. Now if you'd like to subscribe to this podcast so you can keep updated extra groovy.

Now this is the second version of this particular episode because I, well I've already done one, but uh I started recording and I was probably 15 minutes into it and there was shouting or what I thought was shouting going on downstairs so I had to pause the recording because I didn't know how long it was gonna last for but it seemed to die down straight away so I don't know what it was and um I came back and I continued recording for about another 10-15 minutes something like that and then I looked down and I

realized that I'd managed to press the mute button so the last 15 minutes had been on mute and I hadn't recorded anything at all so yeah that was a great start so that was uh basically 10 minutes including you know and then nothing for 10 minutes or whatever so yeah I had to I thought I got rid of it.

I deleted it and it's a bit of a shame because it was by far the best recording I've ever made. It did happen once I made this was a hypnosis session I did and it was it was spectacular.

I say this I mean it might be rubbish but to me at the time it felt like it was um extraordinary and the words were flowing the ideas were flowing and it was it's almost like um it's almost like the the god of hypnosis was just talking through me and uh I thought wow this is really good I think it was a it was a relaxation session it might have been a chronic pain one might have been a sleep one they're generally the three major ones that I've kind of focused on over the years and

I was honestly I was even my belly button was excited I was really and then I went to sort of press the stop button on the recorder nope I hadn't recorded I think it might have been uh I was recording it on the computer and the computer froze or something like that it happened quite a few times over the years you know quite a few but not often enough for me to shout at the wall you know not quite as often and so because I used to record a lot of stuff via USB microphone directly

into the laptop using you know audio software to record it thinking that now is a pretty professional way to do it but unfortunately if the computer freezes or decides to shut down which has happened a few times I end up losing all of the you know the work that I've done so now I record externally I don't mean I don't sort of stick my head out the window I mean I use equipment that's external to the computer I've got a variety of different things I can use but I've actually thought about maybe getting another microphone

sticking that into the tablet and recording twice you know recording two times at the same time using a different software package for the other one just to sort of as a backup in case one runs out or something I mean I just realized as I as I mentioned this I just realized that my phone is not on do not disturb which means someone could phone up and completely interrupt the recording so I'll just put that on there now I do not want that happening at all so it was supposed to be windy today I mean

properly um I can't even bother to tell the story I did a whole wonderful bit of oh it was a great story I told you well that I did tell back then you know a few hours back but I can't even bother to retell it it just doesn't feel so fresh anymore so yeah just it's supposed to be windy that's it that's the end of that story really um but it hasn't been not or not yet anyway what I thought about doing today is looking at some lyrics song lyrics uh so top 10 songs of

all time top 10 songs of all time what are the top 10 songs everyone the best songs of all time no what what is the number one the greatest I don't want the most popular uh no I don't want the I want actually the best selling what's the number one selling song of all time white Christmas I thought that would be this is the best sunset okay here we go that's what I'm interested in so I'm thinking of uh just looking into this a bit um come on so these are the best selling physical singles

so of course things have changed with you know online downloads and things like that but it still goes until 2013 2013 so it's not that long ago so that's these are the most uh best selling according to wikipedia so mine it may well be wrong but it's this is according to that they're the best selling physical singles of all time and it's broken out between 15 million copies or more and then it goes down to 10 to 14.

9 million copies or more and then 8 to 9. 9 million copies or more 7 to 7. 9 million copies or more 6 to 6. 9 million copies or more 5 to 5.

9 you know so on so forth okay so what I thought I'd do is just concentrate on the top my top ones and I'm kind of surprised at this really surprised at this and I guess because it's worldwide not just America or you know UK or like the the main English-speaking countries but worldwide according to this according to this according to this so I'll start at number one the number one biggest selling physical single by the way for those that have never don't know what a single is um in the past yeah so might be

listening to this in you know 10 years time uh so just try to explain it to you uh okay here we go in the past we used to have these things called shops and used to be able to it's like a physical building but in them days it was safer to go outside because the air was okay so we had these physical buildings and used to go into them sometimes the doors would open on their own a bit like Star Trek I won't explain what Star Trek is because that is still streaming you still be

able to watch that on telly that'll be around forever so Star Trek the doors open automatically it's really groovy sometimes it's worth the visit just for that if you're five so then you go in and you get a blast of hot air which is lovely in the winter not so great in June or July but you know in the winter it's all right and you go in and used to have things called record shops I mean I can't even remember the last time there was a record shop um 20 years ago maybe we used to

have record stores but you know individual record shops seemed to have died out a long time ago but we still have um we had HMV and Virgin yeah I know it's a funny word isn't it HMV and we had Tower Records they're the only three that I can really remember of no doubt there's others because around the world there's going to be different types of record stores that are popular and that other countries won't even have known about so here we had those but also other parts of the country as well because I saw recently

that bunch of people were getting made redundant and loads of people loads of these shops were being closed and it's a national store and they were closing loads and loads of shops never heard of it before not heard of shops closing and that's a regular thing but it was like a branded store I don't mean you know branded with an iron but branded as in popular well known never heard of it because I don't have them in my part of the country and I was surprised at that because I just assumed the because every nearly

every town that I've been to generally has the same stores the same shops same chemist booth boots Tesco Sainsbury's um the same banks and building societies you know the co-op Barclays um STD no sort of TSB um McDonald's not Maccy D's no McDonald's and the Pizza Hut used to be very popular the Wimpy and KFC and then those other shops what is it um before charity shops were so I don't want to use the word popular but they're prominent around because a lot of charity shops um probably in every town in the UK of England

I don't know if they have charity shops in other countries I generally don't know I've not done a lot of traveling um I know that other countries some of them have trees and beaches and a sky so I know that but I'm not sure about the the retail aspect of those particular uh uh land masses I really don't know and we also had uh what else did we have things like super drug are more recent you know back in in the old older days it was I think boots was pretty much the main chemist maybe

lawyer Lloyd's lawyer no word or name should start with the same two letters it's just a personal belief I can't change it I'm afraid I've tried everything therapy hypnosis I can't change my belief that no name should start with the same two letters Lloyd two L's it's just no it's wrong sorry let's move on I have ruled that to be the law so other things record shops I only in the smaller towns I only remember there being um maybe one record shop but other places whence you could purchase said records for example going back 30

odd years or ever boots used to sell records um WH Smith's used to sell records I think they might still do and Woolworth's used to sell records so there was a variety of places a little bit like buying greeting cards and that's another thing I don't know whether there's any many independent greeting card shops any longer um there was in a little town that I lived in but nowadays I don't know the last 20 years or so there seems to be very much a chain of greeting cards shops I had a friend who had one

and they're little gold mines which I found a bit weird I mean how do the workers and the miners get into the mines with all those cards in the way but and now apparently due to the internet people don't seem to want to spend time looking traveling to a shop looking through cards that loads of other people lots of germs on their fingers have been looking through that might not be the reason see yeah it's uh they'll probably be gone at some point it's a shame because I want everything to stay the same forever and

ever and ever apart from the horrible things I want all the nice things to stay all the horrible things to go away because I'm very very mature in my outlook very realistic I want everything to stay the same I want to stay the same age I don't I want to get younger not too much younger not you know don't want to start ending up being 13 again because uh nah wouldn't fancy it nah did that being there don't think I'd want to I don't feel I'd want to be 16 again either 17 no no actually

I don't maybe yesterday was quite good I'd like to go quite go back to yesterday no I don't know would what it's it's the old cliche isn't it I'd like to go back but be me I'd like to go back with what I know in my head but go back into a body of my younger version so I could have both the physical wealth agility but also wisdom as well so I can see how that would be quite useful you know to be let's say 18 and or 20 you know that's sort of a an

age where I was still yeah I don't know that kind of age and to be able to know what I knew but then if you knew what you knew when you knew it before you knew it would you know what to do with that knowledge you know I'm just I'm just proud of myself for being able to say that sentence straight away without having to practice if you knew what you knew before you know after you know it did you know whether or not you'd know if it was knowledge worth knowing you know there what

what it's I don't know it's would I be what would it be like to have a 49 year old brain in a 20 year old body what would it be like to have 40 well yeah what would it be like to have 49 year old inside a 20 year old body not the first time I thought about that I just uh I don't know it'd be quite weird wouldn't it I don't know I think I'd probably be a lot better with my money I think a part of what you'd need would be to know what's

happened in the future as well so I think you need to have the memory of what's happened because then you can change the mistakes or you know redo things because if you just go back but have the you can't have the knowledge about the memory can you so you know we need all that stuff because it fits together so I went back to being 20 and then I had I'd know about all the things to avoid all the people yeah I'd probably be fairly wealthy actually because I'd have I'd have gone for well-paid jobs and

maybe pursued the sales aspect of things but on a bigger level you know sort of selling higher higher products so maybe having known that I was able to do sales but I didn't start doing that till I was 31 so at the age of 20 realizing that I could do it I could have got into it earlier and sold jet planes or you know huge yachts and stuff like that or yeah maybe expensive apartments in New York or who knows so yeah I think I'd have a different lifestyle or or or or mind you know

if you knew beforehand you'd know what to invest in wouldn't you so it's like you'd see a little article you'd make a phone call in 2003 or 2002 say yeah hi is that Mark yeah this is Mark who's that yeah this is Jason I'd like to invest in your little venture that you're going to be doing um you say what's that thing what's that little student thing you've got is it something book or whatever oh yeah how did you know about that that's my impression of Mark Zuckerberg I said oh I just someone told me

about it sounds like really good but I hear that you're running out of um system power you know you need a bit more a bit more backup um software and stuff yeah I really could do with that yeah I keep it keeps shutting down because it's not all off there I'm thinking about going and asking people to get just to help fund it but I'm not quite sure I haven't really got a business plan together yet I said yeah you um what we could do if you like I'll get some investors and I'll uh all

I want is a percentage of the company that's it so I don't need you to give me any money right now but I'll help you and I'll get you you know lots of servers and you know we'll make sure that it gets together and I'll I'll help finance it but I'll I'll get the the money for you and uh it will be ultra groovy but I just need I don't know fifty percent or four in fact no you should have I'll take 49 because you should have complete control because you're it's your baby so I'll

just I'll be a silent partner I'll have 49 of the of the company um for getting you all everything you need to keep it going for the you know before you get you know you get it financed any so oh that sounds like a good idea but I don't know about the 49 percent though sounds like quite a lot I suppose I could do 25 percent done yeah 25 percent's fine yeah we can do that oh you're very generous yes I am I'm well known for it oh oh oh and uh yeah I'd say you

uh how you doing anyway yeah yeah I'm good good good yeah good um yeah I don't know you know what else to say to you that was really it so thanks Mark I'll get that sorted um you get the the contracts sorted out to you know for the 25th is it 20 or 25 percent uh and as I said I'll be a silent partner I don't want any involvement in it it's completely up to you you're you're the genius I'm just happy to just ride along and uh you know it's really cool oh okay anyway

I need to go now um why are you going um we've only just got to know each other so no no I need to go I need to make a phone call what do you need to make a phone call to oh uh just someone called Jeff Bezos he's uh oh you you know Jeff do you said yeah yeah yes he's um uh I'm just gonna just give him a call I've got a little idea for him oh okay then bye okay see you Mark bye love you and uh that would be it so I'd

have my 25 percent of a Facebook which would be worth now Facebook worth and that would be yeah it's worth I don't know I'm not sure quite how much it's worth Facebook gotta be worth a few million isn't it to be you know to actually have the and it's not about how much Facebook's worth how much you you get out of the dividends isn't it really it sounds like I know what I'm talking about yeah so Facebook worth uh from two days ago was 601 billion so yeah I think it'd probably be and it'd be

a shame I'd have to wait until 2005 no 2007 2008 before I started making any money but you know it's definitely worth the wait I think and so it's definitely growing though so each quarter the annual Facebook annual revenue through the year from 2017 increased from increased by 47.

9 percent from the year before 2018 increased by another 37. 5 percent this is the annual revenue it increased again in 2019 by 26. 6 percent wow yes that's that's uh that's quite a bit in it I was thinking it was not worth getting shares in things like Facebook now because but it's still growing and the gross profit 2017 was 35. 9 yeah let's say 35 billion that was a gross profit up 47. 59 percent the year from the year before gross profit for 2018 46 billion up 32 percent from 2017 and 2019 57.

92 billion yeah it's a it's a livable income isn't it so you know I'd have 14 25 percent of that I'm not sure if gross and net I'm not sure the difference between those um but yeah 25 percent of that I could you know I could get by I could I reckon with a little bit of you know I've got a calculator like you know be careful in that I think I could get by fairly okay ah wow so yeah and uh I'll give Jeff a call and just say look I just got to do

the same thing really and then I suppose the only thing I'd need to do is to make sure I could get but by then if you think about it I'll have had 10 years to get money together so I can then look think back to other things that were really popular so I think what I would do is I'd get shares in Sky because in the late 80s Sky was a joke and then they became huge you know the the the media surround you know the satellite dishes and all the stuff they do and I

think they you know it's massive but at the time it wasn't classed as a very good thing which means I probably would have got shares fairly cheaply what other things oh yeah I would I would make bets on stuff I'd bet on things that everyone would be going against you know things like I don't know I'd probably go into the book the bookies the book you know the betting office and say this is back in 1990 don't forget when I was 20 or ideally 1988 when I was 18 that would be better because then I

could put a bet on Mike Tyson getting knocked out by Buster Douglas and I'd have I would have made if I could have put a thousand pound on that I've made a lot of money but what I would do is go into the box of the betting office in 1990 and say I'd like to find out the odds on a black man becoming president of America and put down the biggest bet I could afford because I imagine that would bankrupt that bookies that bookie office or what are they called you know I don't know what

they're called but I'd gamble put that bet down and then probably a similar thing I'd probably go with a current a politician slash tv star in America and probably 2000 I'd say just at the beginning of The Apprentice just at the beginning of The Apprentice tv show in America I'd say I'd like I want the odds for the star of The Apprentice to become president of America and again I'd clean up I'd because the odds against it would have been so high and I'd have made so much money I don't know what other ones other

sporting events so I don't really follow a lot of sports so and I'd be working on memory wouldn't I so my memory of a lot of sports events would be pretty well just not really that accurate other than for some boxing but even then I've noticed that sometimes I do a bit of research online and I go and I refresh my mind and I've got these memories of certain things that happened and I go and it didn't happen in the order that I remember and it just surprises me that my memory isn't it won't surprise

anyone listens to these recordings but it's it's not almost it's not always sequential but I imagine just for those four things well not imagine them I would I'd have I'd have a huge amount of money from the Mike Tyson Buster Douglas fight to put money again on other other things so it'd be like an accumulator not not actually an accumulator as in with the bookies but I'll be able to use that use the winnings to put down and get more winnings and I suppose invest in places like Tesla and whatever Netflix although I don't think

they've actually made a profit yet what else Microsoft I probably would even though they were already doing hugely well but they you know yeah in the 90s 89 I probably still would have made a lot of money if I was able to put to buy stock shares in Microsoft but to get in right at the bottom or right at the beginning of something that's where the money is isn't it as if you can you can get a percentage of something that ends up being huge which brings us to my uh share options that I'm gonna

I'm gonna offer to everyone I have share options there's uh I don't know I don't even know how it works for me it seems a share option should be a hundred shares that should be all there is the idea of like selling a thousand shares or a hundred thousand shares I don't understand how that works well I understand that you'd break up the profit into a hundred thousand pieces and which to me doesn't sound like a great deal for the people getting the profit unless it's absolutely massive so I prefer the idea of breaking it

up and selling the shares one one percent to have a hundred available and then just share that and sort of sell those so that eventually I'd keep 51 percent controlling because see at the moment I think Jeff Bezos I'm sure he has about 16 percent of Amazon that's what he owns something like 16 percent or maybe 13 percent but it's a very small percentage of the actual overall and I know from watching Dallas in the 80s that someone else gets enough shares they can kick him out they can take over the company if someone else

gets 20 shares if someone else manages to buy you know because he's got the majority of the shares at the moment but eventually someone else could have the majority and overrule him or if someone got 51 percent of the company they'd have overall control because they have the majority of the shares and I'm partly making this up but it does make sense and I'm sticking to that I will not be swayed by facts no no no no no so that would be yeah so maybe that's what I would do I would buy shares from Jeff

Bezos or buy us up give me 49 percent and I'll I'll make sure you have everything you need make sure you have everything you need to keep this thing going and if you if you need to spend more money and borrow more money to keep it going which you might do then you can use your 49 percent of the shares to do that but I'm keeping my 51 percent no no I'll take 49 percent so that Jeffy Jeff Jeff you have control of the company because you're the boss however I won't let any of my

shares go but if you need to you can it's up to you and then he'll have to sell some of his shares to get money to support Amazon because they they didn't make any money for a long long time and I'd still have my 49 percent sitting at home watching EastEnders on telly eating my microwave meals he might say well it's lazy you try getting a microwave inside a sandwich it's not easy at all and I'll be the richest person in not just in the world but in the entire world but also in England I

quite like the idea I think we should be able to buy countries you know that now that I'm a billionaire you know my perspective has changed and it's amazing how that happened I didn't see it didn't see it coming always been a real humanitarian who humanitarian but I like the idea of buying a country and being the ruler of that country yeah that'd be good I think what I'd do I'd buy all the countries and they just have one set of rules for everybody basically worship me I suppose I suppose yeah that'd be yeah that

makes sense I think you could buy a country someone like Amazon could buy a country and have that entire country work for Amazon like everybody in the country work for Amazon so everybody's employed everybody does something you know whether it's on the computer or answering the phone or you know sending products out maybe creating products you can have film sets so they could do all their filming of all the TV shows in that country have massive studios towns filled with studios of film studios and people that live there are the only people that work there

outside of the actors they could use all the camera people all the staff could be from that country live there and then just bring in stars and eventually do it so all the stars live there or maybe not I do want people to watch it so I guess they're going to have to have some famous stars on there as well but imagine you have the whole country working for Amazon and they just have everything they needed they wouldn't have to pay for anything they wouldn't you know all food could be provided for them so instead

of shops they could just have supermarkets where they could help themselves just take what you need they wouldn't be allowed to have Netflix of course but they would have access to Amazon Prime at a discounted rate and and whenever they were whether they were there maybe someone was down a little bit felt a little bit down maybe had a little bit but you know a little bit in every house every corner every shop everywhere there could be a big glass case with a little bobble head inside it that wobbles around of Jeff Bezos and you

just press the button and he starts laughing like that like he does and just cheer everyone up just you know just melt the blues away a bobble head of Jeff Bezos laughing hysterically and to be fair how could I think if I had you know over a hundred billion dollars in a bank I don't think I could do anything but laugh it would be very difficult to I don't know how I'll be able to take life seriously it's almost like it's not real is it anymore when you can with that amount of money you are

untouchable if you want to be literally untouchable you could go and live in a castle and never ever have anyone visit you other than those people you could have security stronger than a national army it's amazing anything you wanted you could just you could be watching the biggest most expensive television and then every time the adverts came on people came in and chucked the television away and put a new one up don't like to watch the same television twice gold plated nipple tassels I mean it's it's you wouldn't even know in gold plated you just

have gold wouldn't you very long nipples I imagine sore as well this I don't even know if I'd like that I know I'm just talking about it but to me I think about money in a sense of like how can you help other people and to have that much money how do you help other people is it helping other people just giving them just handing cash out on the street I don't know it's I mean I just continue doing this but I suppose I'm kind of lucky in some ways I found something that is you

know being boring suits me it's my special shop of power I suppose that the the main benefit the main benefit of for me of having money in the bank is just the security that would be just to have take away that to be independently wealthy to no longer have the to think about money that'd be be such a blessing to even if it's for a short period of time you know even if it was say okay for the next five years I could just do this and not have to think about money at all much

continue to make recordings and and that would be it and I'll be 54 the end of the five years wow I think I'm going to stop saying my age it's starting to sink in but don't like it 49 39 29 49 39 29 wow 19 years ago I was 30 20 years ago I was young and fresh and exciting it's so exciting to me it's fresh I did 39 29 29 20 I've been studying hypnosis for over a year at that point wow 29 28 yeah 22 years I put my 22 years last month I

bought my first hypnosis book well I bought two actually twa I bought twat um hypnosis books no and dur dur not twat that's three isn't it dush dush I bought dush hypnosis books I've never got the word wrong mind you I'm not German am I so you know I can't how am I supposed to remember how to count in all different languages I mean that doesn't even seem like an important thing to know if you've gone on holiday I'd have thought the more important thing would be greetings you know sort of showing some manners being

find a way to say hello and goodbye and I suppose asking for the toilet that seems like quite a an important thing as long as you don't use the word bathroom because you know if you're in a a cafe you ask for the bathroom you might in most countries I guess you'd get a funny look like you're gonna have a bath well my bathroom's upstairs I live in a flat upstairs but I don't want you going in there I mean you had something to eat what have you if you had a little accident or something

and you need to go and wash yourself you'd have a little bath do you I play you got bought yourself a little rubber duck with you I'd say oh no people don't I know where that came from the restroom I just need to go to the I need to have a rest and I think while I'm having a rest I might have a bowel movement also but where did it come from I mean I don't know it was two people talking and then another person came back from the toilet and he's like looked so relieved

oh I needed that oh poor and yeah one of the people said what's what's up it was you look relieved you you know what are you all right how you feeling now because you looked really stressed before when you were talking about how it was crowning and you have to give birth and and the bloke that came back from the toilet said yeah I just really really feel rested now it was such a restful bowel movement and they all started calling it the restroom used to call it the bog here named after actually he invented

the toilet he wanted the toilet and here's the description here's a description a flush toilet is a toilet that disposes of human excreta by using water to flush it through a drain pipe to another location to dispose I don't know why that's funny and flush toilets can be designed for sitting or for squatting in the who invented the toilet Thomas Crapper okay I it made me laugh when I first saw that Thomas Crapper and when was the first toilet ever made 1956 no 1596 okay which brings me to the next uh what did what year

was it 1596 the first toilet and 1596 Joseph Gaiety invented the first toilet paper in 1857 um well wait a minute something doesn't sound right here 1596 so and 1857 1590 1596 the first toilet was invented in 1857 invented toilet paper 1857 now that's a bit of a weight isn't it wow wow so we need to look at the who what did people used to use before um leaves rags moss and rags were some of the less less painful in the 15th century paper became available so newspaper was commonly used as toilet paper in more

modern times Americans used the Sears and Roebuck catalog and old farmers almanac in a way that is kind of not so much recycling but reusing isn't it because recycling I think the original use of the word recycling was to reuse something for a different purpose and a newspaper or a magazine to then be used as toilet paper would be recycling I can't believe this is toilet paper is not standard use in India no that's not can't be true this is what's coming up on the internet it's just coming up a bunch of questions when did

humans start wiping their bums East Asia 700 AD the Chinese are widely believed to invent toilet paper okay so long before we did but they came from humble beginnings like really this is a professional see like really humble ancient Asian cultures were known to use small sticks and rods to wipe away their stuff although we hesitate to call it wiping small sticks is a question is it if it's true why are there no toilet seats in Italy is that true apparently the toilet seats are there are there originally but then they break this is actually

an Italian magazine saying this you know apparently apparently toilet seats are there originally but then they break the seats break because people stand on them and people stand on them because they're not kept clean enough to sit on so the proprietors of the toilet decide no point in continuing the cycle so they can sign their toilet to the ranks of the seedless well and then another one it's like all these world questions sort of um can you flush toilet paper in Cyprus I wouldn't even think to ask a question like that the answer from lonelyplanet.com

says most toilets will display a sign requesting you do not flush toilet paper as due to poor island wise plumbing this can easily cause cause a blockage waste paper baskets are provided it is why it's wise to carry a small packet of tissues when you're out and about oh I would never go there if that's true I would never go there it's always written down is it normal to stand and wipe this is menshealth.com this is a proper magazine like an actual real thing real question is it normal to stand and wipe out of 3,005

voters in a 24-hour period 35% said that they wiped standing up that's over 1,000 men the other party will be more common but plenty of guys are standing up to wipe post poop the phenomenon is so common that buzzfeed created two different videos about it no no I'd like to know what the percentages of men that actually wash their hands after going to the toilet probably what five percent when I was at university

lots of young people there and I think in three years I saw four people wash their hands in the toilets and I spent a long time in those toilets it was a very interesting survey do you wipe before using a bidet step one always use it so uh why do you does Rome have no toilet seats okay it's the same before is it better to flush or throw away toilet paper toilet paper that makes it into the trash ends up in landfills I mean why do people have to answer that you flush it okay does

a bidet leave you wet okay does spraying water on your hand leave your wet does spraying water on your foot leave your foot wet does spraying water on your nipple leave your nipple wet does spraying water on your knee leave your knee wet does spraying water on your face leave your face wet I think you know where I'm going here and I can't believe this these questions this is Google this is Google right it goes from that how do you use a bidet after pooping to what is a typical breakfast in Rome that's the next

question how do they move from one question to another like that how is that even connected why do you why do European toilets have two buttons these two type of toilets are called dual flush or double flush toilets and are equipped with a level or set of buttons that allows users to choose between two water settings a large flush usually about 6.

9 liters is designed for some of the bigger bigger guests that have been sent away and a small flush usually nearly my dad's got one in him yes what is the healthiest toilet paper oh dear oh dear I can't believe why did I start talking about toilets anyway I never got to read the song so I'm going to read the lyrics to one song that I found I was looking for well this is a song that Paul McCartney wrote in 1971 on his album Ram and it's almost like he predicted the future or something yeah

I guess future relationship I don't know who knows I don't know because he has some unusual songs but this one's called free legs and it goes well when I walk when I walk walk my horse up a hill well when I walk walk walk walk walk my horse upon a hill when I lay me down will my lover love me still a dog is here a dog is there my dog he got three legs but he can't run well well when I thought well I thought when I thought you was my friend when I thought

well I thought when I thought you was my friend but you let me down ho a bit rude put my heart around the bend a fly flies in a fly flies out most flies they got three legs but mine got one well when I fly when I fly when I fly when I fly above the clouds oh when I fly when I fly when I fly when I fly above the clouds you can knock me down with a feather yes you could but you know it's not allowed a dog is here a dog is there

my dog he got three legs but he can't run my my dog he got three legs your dog he got none uh uh uh my dog he got three legs your dog he got none my dog he got three legs your dog he got none and that's from paul mccartney um yeah that was that song so I was hoping to do more songs but uh that's all I've really got time for today but I was really looking forward to um you know getting more involved in the yeah so take care of yourself I'm gonna go

speak to you tomorrow and please remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love bye