#344 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (4th March 2020)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name's Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Please subscribe and I've got a little message to, well not just to Elisa, but someone contacted, well she contacted me to tell me that I was just incredibly the most handsomest fella she's ever, ever seen.

And that was based on my description of myself on one of the podcasts. So I just want to let everyone know that I'm not really seven foot tall, blonde hair, and muscly. So sorry about that.

Anyway, what she really called me, well not called me for, but she contacted me on Facebook was because she said that the podcast was pausing or stopping, like on its own. And which is a little bit concerning if I'm honest. I'm not very pleased with the idea of that.

It's always worked fine on my iPhone, on my laptop with Spreaker, and admittedly I don't really listen on any, well I don't listen to it that often, but I do sort of test it to make sure it's fine. And so what I was going to suggest is if you go to my website, there's a few different options. If you go to my website, there's a page in the menu called podcasts or my podcasts, and there's a list of my main podcasts on there.

And at the top of it, it's got a list of podcast hosts like Spotify, iTunes, Spreaker, Stitcher, Podchaser, you know all the different ones. There's quite a few. You can click on one of those links, you know, if there's a particular app that you use on your phone or your tablet or wherever you listen.

And that will then take you to a list of the podcasts. And then you just click on, for example, Let Me Bore You to Sleep, or Deep Sleep Whisperer, or Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, or Sleep Hypnosis Weekly. So you just click on one of those and then it will bring you up a list, links which you can click on, which will take you to that place where you can listen to it.

Or if you just go to my podcasts and go further down the page, you can click straight on, there's a Let Me Bore You to Sleep, there's a podcasts listed with the podcast host next to it. You can click on one of those links. So it's kind of divided by two ways of doing it.

Alternatively, you can download every single recording that I've got, and it's all available on my website. You could download it to your phone or your app or your laptop, and then you could listen to it. And that way, there's no adverts, there won't be any disruption, you won't be dependent upon the internet, because it'll actually be downloaded on your phone or on your equipment, whatever it is.

If it's a tablet, iPhone, Apple, Macintosh, I don't know, whatever it is. Yeah, so that's another way of doing it. And you're guaranteed if you download it, it's free to download.

And also guaranteed that it won't, there's no internet disruption, so it won't like stagger or anything, if that's the correct word. But I'm surprised because I didn't expect there to be any problems with the podcasts or the podcast hosts because, you know, I've been doing this a long time and I've not had this problem maybe once before. Yeah, one other time.

But I've no doubt that I'd be contacted quite a lot if it was happening a lot, you know, people would contact me and say, oh, what are you doing, man? So hopefully, it was a technical error for Elisa. Well, I also don't hope there's something wrong with her phone, but hopefully it was maybe an internet thing or something like that. Otherwise, as I said, if there is an issue, please contact me.

You can go to my Facebook page, Twitter, you know, just send me a message on there. And I will sort it out if I can. I don't really know what I can do other than just do what I'm already doing.

Really, it's, yeah, I mean, I'm not, I'm not responsible for the technical back end issues of it, you know, I just post them onto a podcast host provider, which is Spreaker. And then Spreaker shares the podcast with all the other podcast providers. Well, most of them, you know, as I said, like Spotify, Apple podcasts, Google podcasts, there's a lot, a lot of different ones.

I can't read them all to you. In fact, can I wait a second, I might be able to read them all to you. And we'll just go out of here and make sure it doesn't affect the recording.

No, it doesn't affect the recording. So I can go on here, go back, go back again, go forward. So if you go to the page, jasonnewland.com, there's the list of pages, there's Home, which is the first page you go to.

Then there's Gift Me, which is a link to the PayPal, if you wanted to send me a present. Then there's Latest, which is the latest recordings. So all the latest recordings I've done will come up on there.

And I'll keep adding every new one. So eventually you'll have hundreds and hundreds on there. But it will just go back by date, you know.

Then there's Reviews. So you can click on that and you can see reviews that other people have left. And it gives you a chance, you could leave a review if you wanted to.

I'll click on there now actually, because I want to read you one. I had a lovely review today. Where is it? This is from Tamara.

I'm sleeping again. And that's the headline. I have tried everything to help me sleep over the past 10 years.

And whilst going through a very tough period last year, I discovered Jason's podcast Bore You to Sleep. It says, Bore You to Sleep is the only natural product that has worked for me. And now it's a regular guest during bedtime.

I couldn't thank Jason enough. P.S. I look forward to the updates about Andre. Oh, I've got some stuff to tell you about that little monkey, I'll tell you.

Whilst I was experiencing some horrible sleeping patterns, first, for the first time in 10 years, I have been able to sleep naturally. So thank you, Tamara. That's brilliant.

And Tamara, I'm not just saying this just because you left me a lovely message. Tamara is the name that I was going to call my daughter if I had one. This is when I was in my 20s.

I decided in my early 20s, I thought, or even my late teens, I don't know, but I didn't know anyone called Tamara. So I must have heard it. Maybe it was an American actress.

I don't know. But I decided that was the name I was going to call my daughter if I ever had one. And so, so yeah, so you got reviews and then you got About, which is, it's a picture of me and Andre, a little video that I made a year or two ago.

It's very basic. It's not really any information at all really on that much. Then there's a page called My Podcasts.

And as I said before, it's got a list of all the different podcast hosts. So you've got, it says there, here is a list of my free hypnosis podcasts. They all live at Spreaker.

There's a link there that you can click on to go to Spreaker, but are available on most podcast providers online. And I've got a list. So there's Apple Podcasts, Spotify Podcasts, Stitcher Podcasts, Castbox Podcasts, Spreaker Podcasts, Overcast Podcasts, Podbean Podcasts, TuneIn Radio Podcasts, PlayerFM Podcasts, Luminary Podcasts, PodTale Podcasts, Acast Podcasts, Podcast.app Podcasts, PodBay Podcasts, OurTV Podcasts, MyTuner Podcasts, PodToppin Podcasts, Blueberry Podcasts, PodChaser Podcasts, ListenNotes Podcasts, PodParadise Podcasts, and Digital Podcasts Podcasts.

Wow, there's quite a few. Now not every, not every podcast I have is available on all of those. A couple of them are not available.

So for this one, let me bore you to sleep. It's available on Apple, Spotify, Stitcher, Castbox, Spreaker, Overcast, Podbean, TuneIn, PlayerFM, Luminary, PodTale, Acast, PodBay, PodTale, MyTuner, Blueberry or Blubbery, PodChaser, PodParadise, and Digital Podcast. So there's a couple missing.

Podcast.app is not available as far as I could see, but this is a while back that I put this together. So it might be available now. PodToppin and ListenNotes, it wasn't available.

But as I said, it might have changed. So what I'm going to do while we're talking, let me just check to make sure that they are on there. So let me bore you to sleep.

I'll click on Apple. Safari cannot open it because it's, oh, that's weird. It's telling me that Safari can't open it.

How about Stitcher? It's opening Stitcher, but it didn't open Spotify. Oh, how weird. No, it, yeah, it could open Spotify, but it didn't open Apple.

So Spotify is open, but Apple didn't. So I have to look into that, haven't I? Okay. How strange.

That's very weird. Stitcher. Yeah, that's working.

CastBox. Yeah, that's working. These are just the links.

Spreaker. Yeah, that's working fine. PodBean.

Overcast. Working fine. Yeah.

PodBean. Working fine. It gives you the opportunity to listen on the PodBean app.

TuneIn. So you can listen to these online. You don't have to be on a phone or have an app.

Actually, TuneIn, you need to have the app. So it's letting you, it just basically has my logo and where there's a listen free in app. Player FM.

Working fine. Luminary. Working absolutely fine.

Next is Podtail. Podtail is working fine. Acast.

That link is working absolutely beautifully. Podbay.fm. Working fine. Owltail.com. Working beautifully.

MyTuner. So it's mytuner-radio.com. That's working fine. That's a weird one.

Yeah, it's working fine. Blubbery or blueberry or blubbery is working absolutely fine. Podchaser.

Let's have a look. Podchaser.com. Yeah, it's working fine. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Podparadise.com. Yeah, that's working fine. DigitalPodcast. Yeah.

And you've got an opportunity to subscribe to pretty much all of these podcasts online. And I do believe they've all got apps where you can, you know, on your iPhone or your Android phone or whatever, you can listen via them as well. It's very strange though why the Apple podcast doesn't work.

Let me see if it works in the other ones as well or doesn't. No, it doesn't. It doesn't open in the other podcasts either.

So that's fine. So it's the only one, only link. Doesn't work on the phone, but it does work on the laptop, which is a bit weird, isn't it? So I need to have a look at that.

It might be a Safari thing. It might work fine in Google. Yeah, that might be what it is.

I would test it, but I'll just put the phone down all the way over there on the table next to me. It's too far to travel. So I hope, you know, just I thought that might be useful, especially as the audience is growing.

And, you know, I just want everyone to know that, you know, it's, although there are now adverts at the beginning, not of all podcasts because they're not, they don't always come up, but there, you know, there might be adverts at the beginning of the podcast. You can listen without adverts just by downloading it. Just go to the website and download it.

And my website, and you can download it for free. You can download every single recording I've ever made completely free. At least every recording that I've ever made that's available on the website, because there's still a few that I have not put up yet that I've not, you know, made available, but there's a lot, there's a lot on there.

Plus, plus, plus, plus, I also lost quite a few hundred over the years just through error and, you know, having them on podcasts and I'd say 2008, because I've been doing podcasts for a long time as well, but I had podcast 2008 and the podcast basically, it was a free one, really good podcast that I was getting a lot of, well, for me at the time, I was really pleased. I had about a hundred thousand, over a hundred thousand downloads on that podcast. So I was proper excited, especially as I'd only been doing it a couple of years and I'd only had the podcast for about six months or something, maybe a year, I don't know.

I was really happy, just, it's all, I was making loads of new recordings daily. I was making a new one and then they stopped doing the stats. So I kind of, well, that's a bit weird, they just stopped, stopped providing stats for people and then they deleted about a good 50% of the recordings that were on there without any notice, just recorded, just, just deleted them rather.

So I guess making room for their servers or whatever. I couldn't believe I'd lost all that stuff because I hadn't, I didn't lose all of it, but I hadn't backed up everything because I suppose I had a naive trust in that podcast. I don't know why.

Anyway, I, and then, then, then, then, I think probably about a month or two later, because let's face it, after that happened, I didn't really want much to do with the podcast anymore, that podcaster, because I'd lost a lot of stuff. They weren't giving stats anymore. There's no way of knowing.

I think they reintroduced them a little bit for a while and then stopped again. And then maybe they'd, you know, let the stats out every two weeks. It was very sporadic.

And I just, you know, I just thought, and the weird thing about it is I would have gladly paid for that service because it was a really good service. Well, up to that point, I was reaching, well, quite a good audience. I could see it growing.

And it was a great community. Loads of people were going on there. There wasn't many podcasts, hosts in the world, you know, there wasn't much.

So it was pretty much, I guess, the main one outside of, well, I don't know. I don't know who else was about then. And maybe SoundCloud was about then, I don't remember.

But SoundCloud did become my main place for podcasting for quite a few years. And as per normal, I've had them and I've deleted them. So I've had quite a few different SoundCloud podcasts, you know, over the last, it's got to be 10 years, if not more.

And the last one, apart from the one I've had recently, which I think I was getting about 11 downloads and plays a day, which is not a huge amount, obviously. And I had over 200,000 downloads, well, plays, 200,000 plays on that podcast in just over a year, or it might be in a year and a half. And then before that, I had 100,000 on the previous podcast.

But of course, I'm not going to talk about my stats because I know that's boring. And I don't want to talk about anything boring on a boring recording. So yeah, and then this free podcast place, I think it was just called freepodcast.com or something like that.

And then it just basically closed. Went on there one day and there was a sign saying, you're closed. So I would have happily paid money to keep it going.

Because to me, the service was valuable. It was, you know, way better than anywhere else I've been. I think the only other podcast host apart from Spreaker, because when I say host, Spotify, Spotify is not a host, it's a podcast provider.

So I shouldn't really call them hosts, because you can't have a podcast on Spotify. You can't pay Spotify to have, if that makes sense, you can't upload your recordings onto an actual podcast that's hosted by iTunes or by some of them. Some of them they do, some of the ones I mentioned do, but the big ones generally don't.

Like iTunes. It's always been a case of, there's a thing called an RSS feed, which is just what you provide to iTunes or to now Apple podcasts. And they just update it whenever you upload a new recording to whoever your provider is.

So at the moment, well, mine is Spreaker and it will continue to be Spreaker as far as I'm concerned, because they are good and they do the job and it's, it's expensive. It's $77 or $72 a month. But I have unlimited recordings, unlimited hours, no over usage, no scary charges like I had recently with podcast.co. And, and they also give me a 40% discount off of the overall charge.

So it should be about $120 a month instead of 72. I think it works out something like that, 40% off. I hope that they continue that discount next year, but I'll find out.

I think it's, was this year, I think it was October or November time, I think, but that's a, that's a long way off. So I'm not bothered at the moment. And the, the only other podcast that I got a lot of, a lot of plays and downloads, although technically podcast.co, I had, I think about 27,000 plays and downloads over the last week before I kind of canceled it.

So who knows where that could have gone if they hadn't sort of charged me and caused a very difficult day that was dealing with that, but that's done anyway. So the other podcast is Podomatic. It's not the only other podcast because I have used pretty much every single podcast.

And in the earlier days, some of them were just a bit too difficult to, to use. I just, I found them a little bit complicated. And I don't think I would now because I've used so many, I can pretty much find my way around anything like that when it comes to podcasts.

Just the same as like with video websites. And you might think, what do you mean video websites? There's only YouTube. Well, there isn't only YouTube, but there is mainly only YouTube.

There's a couple. But there was a time at the same time as when YouTube just started, when there was lots and lots of different video websites. There was loads, loads and loads and loads.

And I had my videos on all of them. And was it, is it Metacafe? Metacafe? I think it's one. And there was, there was actually a couple where I was getting way more views than I was on YouTube.

I was getting sometimes thousands a day. And then the video website would just close down. And there was one that was really cool.

I can't remember the name of it. I'd have to Google it to find it because I'm sure there'd be a list of all the different video websites that, like YouTube, that was out there. But this one was really cool because there was no limit to how much you could upload, like time-wise or file-wise, any size.

And it was a really good website. But that went. And I don't know what happened.

I don't know if YouTube just bought them all out and just ceased, you know, closed them down. I don't know. If possible, I suppose.

But the, yeah, anyway, podcasts. The main one before Spreaker and SoundCloud that I got a lot of plays and downloads was Podomatic. And the reason I stopped using Podomatic is because they were too expensive.

I just couldn't afford it. It was just way too much money. It was, I think, like £70, £80 a month to be unlimited.

And you know, I couldn't afford that. And when I was first started, not first started, but you know, up to, yeah, with Spreaker, with SoundCloud, it was unlimited for £10 a month. Actually, it was £8 a month, unlimited.

But most of the others were more, and most of them had limits. A lot of them still do have limits, you know, four hours a month. How's that going to help me? How's that going to, I don't know if people, there's a lot of people provide podcasts that only last for 20 minutes, you know, or half an hour.

And they only do maybe six a month or something. I mean, I do four hours a day sometimes. Not usually actually, but you know, I can and I have.

But on average, seven, eight, nine, ten. I probably do at least, on a quiet week, at least 15 hours of recording in a week. So that'd be what's, that's, yeah, I do at least 60 hours a month of recording.

That's a 50 to 60, that's a quiet week. More, if I do more, obviously, if I do more, there's more. So four hours wouldn't really cut the mustard on that particular requirement of mine.

So with Podomatic, and I actually haven't got anything bad to say about Podomatic, because apart from, you know, it's too expensive. By the way, I've got my squeaky chair back. When I say I've got it back, I've moved it from across the room to here, because although it's squeaky, and it's fallen apart, it's way more comfortable than the other one.

Because, you know, I can lean back in it and my head rested and there is a way of leaning back, so it's quite comfy. So yeah, I've got this back and I can't sit watching TV with my back up straight. Just now, I felt like I was, I don't know, kind of on guard, kind of, you know, it's like, I don't know, just felt wrong, felt wrong.

So Podomatic, I've been on and off there for years. I mean, we're going back at least 10 years. Yeah, at least, because 2011, 2011, I uploaded a few podcasts and just, they were small.

There was just enough room to, because they offer free, a free podcast service, up to a certain amount of space or hours. I think it's space, I think. Might be hours, I'm not sure.

I think it's space as in, and size. And then they allow a certain amount of downloads a month, you know, from the customers listening. And when that runs out, no one can listen to anything until the next month starts.

When they reset it to five gigabytes or whatever it is, I'm not sure, I can't remember. So what I did is I posted a few podcasts on there, little ones, the 30 day relaxation plan, seven day cure insomnia, that's two that I posted. And I just left them on there, as well as posting or uploading all of my recordings onto, you know, one podcast.

And I was getting, yeah, I was probably getting 700, 800 downloads, plays a day, which is really good. Yeah, back then. And maybe less, it's hard to work, hard to remember.

But I was getting a lot of downloads. Maybe it was more than that. Maybe it's more than a thousand a day.

Probably not though, I'm not sure. But it was really good, but it was too expensive. It just cost me too much.

And so I kind of let it go. And then I thought, oh, I'll try it again. And I opened a new one.

I paid it yearly once, I think, which was an expensive way to do that. So I've kind of played around with these things, but it was a good one. Podomatic was good because they've got their own audience, which most other pod, well, I guess maybe they all do to a degree.

But Podomatic seemed to have, you know, really good set up and a catalog of podcasts and they'd promote them and stuff. So, yeah. Anyway, I stopped using them.

And I forgot about the other podcasts, the other two, two of the ones. I had more than two, but I think it was about five years ago or four years ago, I went on there because I was just going through, I was Googling my stuff and seeing what came up when I put my name in, just to see, you know, what hypnosis stuff is there. And I came across those two podcasts and I couldn't believe how many downloads and plays they'd been.

I think one had 180,000 and another one had, I don't know, I think it was over 330,000 between the two. So they both had like quite a lot of downloads and it cost me nothing. And I'd forgotten all about them, completely forgot all about them.

And then a couple of years ago, I removed them from there, which I just wish I hadn't, because they'd probably be up to about a million by now, removed them. And I've got the same podcasts on my Spreaker and they've got a couple of hundred, if that downloads in just, you know, in a year and a half. And this is the same podcast that had hundreds of thousands.

It's really, it's so fickle, the internet, so fickle. It's like, oh man. So yeah, I'm gonna stick to what is now, stick to what I've got and just build upon it.

And I know that new services will come along and perhaps I'll look at maybe getting, maybe look at getting more, more podcasts, but I can add to what I've got anyway. So I can add a new podcast to Spreaker and just share it with everyone, share it with all the different places. So that might be the way to do it.

Plus I've got quite a few to work on, you know, 48 podcasts. Some of those are just short courses from the past that are completed. I'm never going to add to them.

But these, the main ones are the ones that I've mentioned. There's this, Deep Sleep, Sleep Weekly, Relax the Stress, and the two sleep ones. So there's six, six podcasts that I actually focus on.

And which means I only really focus on four because the sleep stuff goes on to the other two anyway. So there's four particular podcasts that I give my energy to, which is still quite a lot because three of those I could make a new recording every single day for. And the weekly one is just once a week.

So yeah, I don't know. There's always a little kind of little burning desire within me, within me to do something a bit new, to do something a bit different. You know, because that's something that I would, it just give me, I don't know, it just raise my enthusiasm and get me a little bit excited.

So that's something that I might look to do, you know, in the future. Do something a bit, that you added on to what I'm doing, but do something a bit different. I thought about making some really long recordings.

But we'll see. So, yeah, I suppose it's a matter of kind of not time straight as in on a daily basis, but just generally with, you know, I don't know. So, yeah, I don't know.

You have to just wait and see. But I'd like to do a few other things as well. I've kind of given up on the idea of writing a book for now.

After the transcription of F.A.R.S, which occurred online, where I was, if you want to know about that, and that's yesterday's recording or the previous recording to this. I think it's a day before yesterday. Yeah, it's Monday.

So I have destroyed all of those transcripts that I had written, that I typed out. Got rid of those, because a lot of them were just a mess anyway. They didn't make any sense.

And gone, gone, they're gone. And now, and still I've got the printer. So that's, that's going to be useful for future.

You know, to use for just general. It's always handy to have a printer, isn't it? In case I need to print something. I suppose that's kind of obvious.

And there's enough ink. I've got, I probably must have at least another six ink cartridges left. So that'll last me for ages.

So that's good. So I'll stick them somewhere handy. So yeah, that's, that's all right.

It's just, in a way, I kind of think sometimes, not always, but sometimes it's, it's good to have at least, you know, given it a go and not to have perhaps worked out quite as amazingly wonderful as it may have done, than to have not even tried. And as far as transcribing my recordings myself, by listening and typing out, I can't. I can, but I've done it.

But I can't, I don't have the ability. Yeah. I'm not going to do that.

I'm not. I'm just not. So if there's anyone out there, is there anyone out there? Anyone at all? And if you love transcribing, and you want to edit a book based on some of the stuff that I've talked about, then, you know, cool, cool, cool, cool.

Go for it. So I'm sure there's a book. There's got to be at least one book out of however many thousands of hours of talking I've done.

There's got to be something. It might not be a very good book. It might be absolutely awful.

But it's still a book. And my idea was to write maybe a couple of books, give them away on Amazon for free. Maybe get them put, well, you know, find a way to get them on Kindle Unlimited.

So they'd be on Kindle for free. And then if they became, I don't know, some kind of successfulness, then approach a printer or a publishing firm and say, Oi, publish my book now. And yeah, and they could pay me.

That was kind of a little fantasy I had. It's not the only fantasy I've had, but it's probably the only one I can really mention at this time. And so that's kind of been put on hold.

So I'm just going to continue making the recordings. And as I said, the adverts are now back. I take them off, put them back, take them off, put them back, and now they're back.

And they don't play every time either. But, you know, it covers the costs of running this thing. So it's fine.

The service is still free. And also you can listen without adverts. It's by downloading the recordings from my website.

So it's a very groovy situation, really. Very, very groovy. And what other things? That's it, really.

I mean, tomorrow or today, really, because it's, I don't know what time it is. It's about one o'clock or something in the morning. So I get paid today.

So what I'm going to do, what I have done is I've looked through the money that I've got coming out this month. And I've already had the internet paid, council tax paid, TV license paid. So that's all come out on the first.

Well, actually, I think it was the third because it's Monday. Oh dear, the latest Andre's in the corner on the paper, doing a poo, looking at me as if to say, well, why are you staring at me, daddy? And now he's, he's basically, he slid across the floor, wiping his bum on the carpet as he led towards his food, which is further up, sniffed the food in the plate, turned his nose away, and went and had a drink of water, had a sniff of his girlfriend, which is my slipper. And now he's run back to my old sweatpants.

And he's gone back to sleep, basically. That was it. That's the, that's the update.

Oh, man, I've been trying to, I'm trying to sort of sort out my head around him, because he's annoying me with scratching at the front door, like constantly at times. But then he's also asleep for about 22 hours a day, or 21 hours a day. So he's sleeping most of the time.

So I don't, I don't want him to be asleep. It's not, I don't mind, I don't care what he does, as long as he doesn't do that. As long as he doesn't scratch at the front door.

I don't care if he runs around, plays with me, has lots of cuddles and kisses and trashes the place. I don't care what he does, but the scratching at the door just really winds me up, especially when I'm trying to sleep. Now, yeah, so I've actually written down on a piece of paper, March 2020, with a big squiggly line underneath.

So I've written down on Shopify. So it's $29. That's the 17th of March, that comes out.

Spreaker is, do I say $72? That's, yeah, something like that. 21st of March. Now the only two things I've got there for me, that are like my own little thing, I've got Netflix.

That's the 21st of March, $5.99. And Now TV, 28th of March, which is £1.60. So it gave me a big discount. They're the only two things that I'm paying for myself, that I'm actually treating myself for. Which isn't bad, is it? So at six, £7.59 a month I'm spending on me.

I'm so, I just, it's all, I can't believe I'm just so generous to myself. Wow. Wow.

So I just had a bill come through from the catalogue. That's where I get the printer and all the printer cartridges and various different things that I bought over the last year for the flat, you know, stuff for the kitchen. So I got that bill through, so that needs to be paid.

And so today I get paid and I need to pay £100 to the catalogue and £100, I owe £100 to my friend who lent me £100 last weekend. It wasn't the last weekend, I think it was the weekend before, to get me through. Because I just ran out of money.

And so that has to be paid back. And the rest, whatever's left, goes on food. I'm just going to spend every single penny on food.

So I'm going to get a delivery. So I've actually, and I've not done this for a long time. I'm talking a long time.

I've written out a shopping list. Seriously, I've written out a shopping list. So first of all, there's sugar.

By that's bags of sugar. And I've got a little bit of sugar left. So I'm going to get a couple of bags, which will last me for a little while.

I don't actually have as much sugar as you perhaps imagine. See, if I have a cup of coffee or cup of tea, I have one sugar, one bag of sugar. And a spoonful of sugar.

That's it. And I only ever have one cup of coffee or cup of tea per day. And that's first thing in the morning with my breakfast.

And ideally, it's a coffee, cup of coffee. Tea would only be if there was no coffee available. And I did run out of coffee earlier in the week.

So I was drinking tea bags, and it just was not the same. It's not the same, is it? It's not the same as coffee. But marmalade is not the same as Bovril.

Yeah, a mini is not the same as a radiator. It's different. They're different things.

I think that's what I'm saying. So you've got sugar and now I've got black bags. This is bin bags.

So I need to get a pack of 10 or 20 of those. And next is washing up liquid. So I need to get doesn't have to be a big one.

But just washing up liquid. I do have some still in the bottle. But it's it's yeah, it's kind of yeah, I need to get another one.

Andre's food, so cat food. So I'll probably get, I'll probably just get one box, maybe two boxes. But you know, I don't need to sort of, yeah, I'll see.

Because I've still got some in there. But I'll get the one that he likes, because the one at the moment, he's eating cat food that he doesn't like. He will eat it.

But he moans. He don't half moan. I just hear him.

I just sometimes I hear him from when I'm asleep. Just hear him going, this is crap. What's this crap for? I hate it.

Rubbish. So another one is milk. See, my favorite milk at the moment is Cravendale.

Now, I don't know if anyone else has heard of Cravendale. It's really groovy. They basically, they sterilize it, or I don't know, they do something to it, but it tastes good.

And it also lasts longer. And so I'll get a big tub of that. Next, I'll get some washing sponges.

So that shouldn't cost more than a pound. You know, the things that you do your washing up with. Well, I mean, you do with your hands, don't you? But, you know, what I generally do is I put, so I've got a bowl in my sink.

I guess you could call it a washing up bowl. But the bowl could be whatever you wanted. I mean, you could put it in the garden and fill it with clay, you know, if you wanted to, or put concrete in it, and just leave it in the middle of the living room or the bedroom or on the bed.

Fill it with whipped cream. I mean, you could do whatever you wanted with it, that's what I'm saying. You could turn it upside down and pretend it was a a floor hat, you know, a hat for your floor.

Look, my hat's by my carpet's wearing a hat. I mean, there's lots of different things you could do, that's what I'm saying. But it's basically, I use it for washing up because it fits in the sink, the bowl.

So my thing generally is I like to soak stuff, not everything, but dishes. So I soak dishes and then I empty the water, put the dishes on the side, rinse out the bowl. Then I start putting some hot water in there.

I put some washing up liquid in. It's not so much to make it all bubbly, but it's quite nice, isn't it, to see a few bubbles. And then I put some washing up liquid onto the side of the sponge that I'm going to be using to clean the dishes or whatever, you know, the bowls or the mugs or cups or cutlery that will be going into the hot water in the bowl once it's actually, well, it's a grey bowl.

Is it grey or is it blue? No, it's grey. It's only a pound. It's lasted me for over a year.

And, but yeah, I'm running out of sponge. Well, I've literally got one sponge left. I need to get some more sponges.

I used the last two black bin bags today. So that's why I need some new black bin bags. And coffee.

I did actually buy some coffee. It's a small jar for three pounds, but it's quite a nice coffee. I quite like it.

But I gave half of it to my neighbour because he didn't have any coffee. So I need to buy some more coffee. Although I don't, as I said, I only have one coffee a day, so there's probably enough in there.

But I'd rather just have one just to sort of, but maybe a cheaper one because I think three pounds for a jar is too much. So maybe try and find one that's maybe £2.90 or £2, £1.90 or £2, I don't know, £2.93 maybe. Now, cereal.

For some reason, I've written cereal and then I wrote it breakfast next to it. I mean, what other cereal would there be? I mean, did I write that down in case I went into the shop looking for a bag of wheat? You know, a bag of corn. Where's your corn kept? No, it's cereal.

Of course, it's going to be breakfast. Anyway, I'm having a go at myself. There's no need for that.

Now, I'm going to keep this as a little surprise for myself because I don't know what I'm going to buy. It could depend more on, you know, there might be some special offers. So I might get some shreddies.

I might get some Weetabix. I might get some cornflakes. I might get some... I do like Alpen.

Alpen is one of my favourite cereals ever. However, the only Alpen that I think gets sold in the shop I go into is the one that's low sugar. Now, I'm not being prejudiced against low sugar items, you know, I'm not.

But when it comes to taste, original Alpen is the one I like. It's just the way it is. So I don't eat anything other than original Alpen.

I mean, I do eat other things. I'm just talking about, you know, when it comes to Alpen, I don't eat anything but the original Alpen. You know, it's not a case of I don't eat anything but original Alpen.

Otherwise, I'd be a very awkward customer, wouldn't I, in most restaurants. We're told you, sir, this is a French restaurant. We don't sell Alpen here.

I said I want original Alpen. I just imagine myself sitting in a high chair, in one of those little children's things, having a little tantrum. So, toffee sponges.

Now I have to be careful I don't get that muddled up with the washing sponges. So the toffee sponges are the microwavable sponges. And you can get three for two pound.

And they're beautiful. I think they take 30 seconds in the microwave. Oh, I love them.

I love them. So I'm going to get some of them if they're available. That will be a little treat.

Then I've got margarine. You know, the toffee sponges, I bought about 20 at Christmas. I did.

I spent. Yeah, I think I did. Oh, yeah.

Maybe even more. Maybe 30 or 40. I bought a lot because I just love them so much.

Margarine. So I'll get some margarine. Probably, I can't believe this is not margarine.

Or I can't believe this is not butter, whatever. And Capri Sun. Now this is my effort.

My kind of move towards. My stomach's proper rumbling. My move towards drinking more watery stuff and juice and perhaps drinking less Coca Cola and fizzy drinks.

So I'm going to get some Capri Sun and get a box or two of those. So this I can have a few of those drinks a day. Also bottles of water.

I can only get that when I get a delivery because they're just too heavy to carry around. So I'm going to get as many as is available. I think they're normally about 20, 25 pence a bottle.

So I'll just get as many like 10 or 20 bottles if there's if they're available. And then I've got soap. Although they're the big bottles, I do like to have also a pack of the littler bottles.

Because when I go outside, I mean, I don't mean in the garden. I mean, I don't need a bottle of water with me then. But when I'm going into town or perhaps I've got a meeting or something like that, I like to take a bottle of water with me.

But a small bottle, not a big bottle. A small bottle. And mind you, I did actually accidentally took a big bottle with me once on the bus.

I don't know how I thought it was a little bottle. And then I pulled it out of my bag. I thought I'd shrunk.

I was holding this big bottle up. I thought, oh my God, what's happened? How am I going to get off the chair? I'm so little. And soap.

So I need to buy some soap, come down to my last soap. And you might think, well, it's a big deal about that. Well, I had enough soap to last me for probably nearly two years.

Seriously, I bought a lot of Dove soap. Packs of four, packs of six, packs of two, and I just collected them basically. I had a whole cupboard, not just soaps.

I had a whole cupboard full of shampoo, deodorant. I've still got lots of deodorant there. Toothpaste, face wipes, you name it.

I had loads of stuff that I had stocked up. But I've kind of gradually got through it all. Well, not all of it, but most of it.

The soap, I've definitely got through. So I need to buy some soap. Need to buy some toothpaste.

And what else is under here? Arse wipes. That's what it says in brackets, wet. So these are the toilet, wet toilet wipes.

And so I'll get some of those. I think, you know, I do mention being kind to yourself. That includes your bum.

And the toilet paper is another one I need to get on here. Face wipes. So you might think, do you mean face wipes? And I'm not talking about removing makeup.

But for quite a few years, I've been using Nivea or, you know, the face wipes to remove dirt and to moisturize my skin. And I use it first thing in the morning and last thing at night. And that's why I've got such soft baby-like skin.

And what else? Coke, question mark, question mark, question mark. I want to say no to the Coke, but the chance is I can't. You know, in reality, chances are that I'm going to buy some Coke.

But it depends. If they have the big packs on offer, then I'll do that. But if they're, you know, because I went in to buy some Cokes the other day.

I think it was Saturday. Saturday, yes. Saturday or was it Monday? No, it's Saturday.

And I went in and they had packs of six Cokes, original Coke, not that stuff that they sell that has no sugar. Ooh, no, I did try it. I did.

No, no, no, no, no. And so, yeah, I've just, no, no. And you need to be careful as well.

Well, you don't need to, but I've been in some shops and the Coke cans look the same as the Cherry Cola and the original Coke. They look very similar, which is a bit, I don't know why they don't just have a picture of a cherry on there or something. And I went into the shop and there was three, six can pack for £3.50. £3.50. Now, Coke and I suppose maybe other fizzy drinks, but I don't drink any other different other stuff have all gone up in price because of the sugar tax that's been added over the last couple of years or whatever.

So, you know, they've gone up in price. Now, £3.50, so I can get 12 for £6, no, for £7. And they usually have to go and sell, quite often they have £3.50 for one or £6 for two packs.

So you get a pound off. You see, before the sugar tax, they used to be £2.50 for six. And then if you bought two, two for £4.

So they ended up being £2 for six. But yeah, kind of put up the price quite some bit. So that was £7 for 12, two packs of six, 12.

But then in the doorway, there was a box that had £18 for £7. But it's heavy. It's not, I don't mean heavy as in, oh, I can't ever lift it, I need a forklift.

You know, I'd have to sort of shout through the shop, excuse me, can I borrow you young man? I need your help. I can physically lift it. But it's a lot to lug around.

And bags are not that strong to hold that kind of weight. Ideal if you're driving or something, you can stick it in the back of your car. Anyway, then it's not ideal to walk around the shop with in the basket, because it takes up the whole basket.

So I left it where it was, went around, got some stuff, put my stuff on the conveyor belt thing, the checkout. And we have human beings do the checkout in that shop. There is no self-service, which is good.

And although they are kind of popping up in most supermarkets, and I said to her, I said to the lady, wait a minute, and I'll go around and I'll pick out one a box of Cokes for £7 for £18. And I basically saved myself £6, £12, £13, £14, £15, £16, £17, £18. I saved myself £3.50 by buying the £7 one.

So I put that on there. Shopping was too heavy, way too heavy. And I got these old granny, I call them granny bags, because that's what my nan used to use in her day.

They used to be like these, they're not wicker baskets, but they're very kind of very old fashioned shopping baskets made of material. And because this shop no longer sells plastic bags, they sell these car, I don't know, paper bags, which will be absolutely useless for anyone walking around with it. It'd be fine, I guess, if you're just putting it, putting your stuff in it, putting it into the trolley again, and just pushing the trolley to the back of your car.

It'd be okay, but not if you're walking through the streets. And it's very, very rubbishy bags. Anyway, I said to the lady about a week or so ago, or the man, whoever it was, I said, well, what about my bags for life? What happened to them? I bought them, and this bag here cost me 10 pence, and it's a bag for life.

Or was it 50 pence? I can't remember. Anyway, it's supposed to be a bag for life. You swap it when it gets worn out, and they give you a new one, free of charge, which is part of saving the environment.

That was part of the thing. And I didn't realize that clearly all the supermarket cashiers that were taking those old bags, those bags for life, taking all the rubbish, the crappy ones that were worn out, instead of recycling them, they were clearly feeding them to the dolphins. So they weren't doing the right thing.

So now we're stuck with these, these rubbishy bags. Anyway, I've got a couple of other things on my shopping list. Bread and cheese.

Now, when I look at that list, there's not a lot of stuff there to eat, is there? I can't eat the sugar. Can't eat the black bags. Can't eat the washing up liquid.

Can't eat the cat food. I can't eat the milk. Well, I can drink the milk, so that's one thing that's edible.

Washing sponges. No, can't eat that. Coffee.

I might drink it, but it's not food, is it? Breakfast cereal. It's breakfast, but it's not food, food. It's not a dinner.

Toffee sponges. The best will in the world. Even I can't get away with just eating that and not anything else.

You know, it's still, it's lovely, but it's a dessert. Margarine that goes on the bread. Capri Sun, just a drink.

Bottled water, just a drink. Soap, just to wash me willy. And then there's toothpaste.

Again, wash my willy. Toilet paper, face wipes. So Coke.

Coke, bread and cheese. There's hardly anything that I can actually put in my mouth and eat. However, I do have quite a few bits in my freezer.

So that's all right. Maybe, maybe if I buy some potatoes as well. So yeah, it's going to be not challenging, but I suppose I just need to get enough to get me by, but enough to definitely get me by.

Not just maybe, baby, you know, has to be definitely get me through. So I should be okay. I don't know if I've actually, how long I've been talking for.

I reckon, I'll not look to see, I genuinely don't know. I reckon 67 minutes. I'll have a look now.

Wow. 84 minutes, nearly an hour and a half. Why didn't you tell me? Okay.

On I go. So thank you for listening. Please remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy.

Do something nice. Do something nice. If you're still awake, you know, and if you are asleep, you can take this into your unconscious mind to be nice to yourself.

And it doesn't necessarily mean doing something physically. It can be just saying something nice to yourself, reminding yourself about the good things about you, the things that you like about yourself, your, you know, positive stuff. So I'll speak to you tomorrow, very likely.

Thank you for listening. Lots of love. Bye.