#304 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (17th January 2020)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name's Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Right, so before I continue, just to say thank you, big thank you to um, let me have a look, who am I saying thank you to? Give me two seconds.

I want to say thank you to everybody because, and I mentioned this, oh my voice is going, I mentioned this the other day about the statistics. I keep going on about my statistics but I just find it interesting really. So this month so far it's really gone up.

Oh god, my throat's gone all weird. Yeah, I'll be all right. So this month really, let's just say this current month, so it's January and the stats have just really risen.

Um, so gradually over the month I've had a couple of low days, like statistically wise. Like the 1st of January was the first, uh, Wednesday the 1st, 2020. I had 2009 downloads.

But that's the lowest day of all out of the whole month and it's the 17th today. So it's 24 minutes past midnight on the 17th of January 2020. So I started off the month and, you know, the 2nd of January, 2,564 and then the 6th of January it went really high for some reason.

I remember I wasn't quite sure why. It was 5,528 downloads, which is a lot higher than normal. The next day was 4,187 and then it went down to 3,777.

But every day after that it's pretty much been above 3,000 apart from the 12th, which is 2,645. But since then, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, it's just, it hasn't gone below 4,000 downloads for the day. So Monday I had 4,368 downloads.

Tuesday the 14th of January 2020, 4,232 downloads. Wednesday the 15th of January, 4,270 downloads. And then yesterday, and the day's not over yet, I think it finishes at one o'clock in the morning, it's now at 4,965 downloads.

And afterwards actually they don't calculate it exactly until the next day. So it'd probably be over 5,000 for that day. And I'm just, I don't know, it excites me.

I'm sorry. I know it's probably a bit sad, but is it really? If you spent all your time and you devote your energy to doing something, it's nice to see that it's being, or it's growing in strength or success or listeners or whatever you want to call it. So yeah, nearly 5,000 yesterday.

And over 4,000 the last three days before that. And so yeah, so literally one, two, three, four, five, six days out of the last 16 days has been over 4,000 and two of them have been over 5,000 or there will be because if yesterday's 4,965 will definitely be above 5,000 when I wake up tomorrow or later today. So I thought I'd just let, the reason I'm letting you know is because you're responsible for this.

Not just you, but other people that are listening maybe that listen to the other podcasts that maybe don't listen to this one. And I'm just really, really pleased. So yeah.

So thank you because without you listening to my podcasts, to my recordings, going on my website and all that stuff, there'd be no reason for me to do this at all. So, you know, I appreciate it. Thank you.

And even it's quite weird because last month in December, I had the highest downloads of the year, which is kind of, kind of should be really in my, in my, in my brain, it should be because it's the 12th month. But I started the year last year, 12,996 downloads for January, 2019. And I ended up with in December, 2019, with 66,528 downloads.

And so far, I'm halfway through the month and I've had 56,388 downloads. So there's a good chance I'm going to reach, you know, 90,000 plus for this month, which is, you know, every, doing that every month, it's over a million a year. So, but I'm expecting it to grow even more.

I can't wait because at the moment I'm looking at the, the stats on the screen. And, you know, it's in a, not a pie graph, what's the one where you got the sticks, or the, this is a maths thing. So, although it's also used in geography and, well, it's used in lots of things, isn't it, as a graph.

But, you know, it's on the right hand side, at the bottom, it's got January to December, or January to January, actually. And on the left hand side, going up, it's got numbers like 20K, 40K, and 60K. Now I can't wait until on the left hand side, it's then got 150K, 180K.

And the graph has just grown. That'd just be so cool. So yeah.

So I look and I think, well, what ones are actually, why am I getting this rise? Well, the deep sleep whisper hypnosis recordings is definitely a reason for that, because I've been making them regularly for the last few days. And this, so what days are, well, I say for the last three days, actually. So I did one on the 7th of January, one on the 14th of January, one on the 15th, and one on the 16th.

And I will do one today as well. So this week, Monday, I had 504 downloads. Tuesday, the 14th of January, 657 downloads.

Wednesday, the 15th of January, 616 downloads. And Thursday, the 16th of January, yesterday, 733 downloads. That's just of that podcast, the deep sleep whisper.

So I'm fairly pleased with that. Oh yeah. So that's groovy.

So to be getting 700 plus downloads just on one podcast, considering how many podcasts I've got, I think is really cool. And then there's the hypno or other podcasts I've got. Let me bore you to sleep.

So the one here that I'm doing, I, last, the current week, okay. So I get less, can you believe it, I get more deep sleep whisper hypnosis downloads than I do the let me bore you to sleep. But Monday, I got 423 downloads.

Tuesday, 362 downloads. Wednesday, the 15th of January, 359 downloads. And yesterday, I got 344 downloads.

And I generally seem to be doing one every day. In fact, I have every single day this year so far. I've done a new let me bore you to sleep apart from the third of January, I didn't make one.

But I did one first, second, fourth, fifth, sixth, and all that all the way up. And so yeah, so yesterday, 344 downloads. So technically, I'm getting half the amount of let me bore you to sleep downloads as I am with the other, the deep sleep whisper.

Let's have a look at what other ones. Relaxation, hypnosis, stress and anxiety. I've been releasing some 12.

Yeah, well, I've done one on the 8th of January, one on the 9th, 12, 13, 14, 15. So I've been doing these kind of on a daily basis for the last few days. And that's because this is one of my most popular podcasts, even though it hasn't got the most overall downloads.

So I'm at 69,961 downloads for the whole podcast on a daily basis. Here's what I'm getting. So on the Monday, the 13th of January, 822 downloads.

Tuesday, the 14th of January, 832 downloads. Wednesday, the 15th of January, 834 downloads. And yesterday, the Thursday, the 16th of January, 1033 downloads.

So technically, that is more popular. Get more downloads on that podcast than I am the other two podcasts. So this one's, although it's not in the front, if you was thinking of it as being the overall races in a season, you know, it's definitely not ahead because it's on a much lower download over a period of time.

But if this was just one of the races, it's well ahead of the other two podcasts. So I'm pleased with that. And what other one is there? So, Sleep Hypnosis Weekly.

Now, I've managed to do two weeks in a row, which is good, I'm pleased about. But I have a tendency of not doing them as regular. I mean, I'll give you an example.

28th of October 2019. The next one was 5th of November. The next one was 14th of December.

And the next one was the 10th of January. So and then I did one yesterday. But again, this is growing.

So yesterday, I had 272 downloads of this podcast. Monday, 205 downloads. Tuesday, the 14th, 148.

Wednesday, the 15th, 189 downloads. 272 yesterday. And it's because I only do one, one a week.

Well, sometimes one a month, but it's supposed to be one a week. So I'm quite pleased with the fact that I'm getting, and it's not that many episodes, there's only 31 episodes to listen to. So yeah, I'm pleased, actually, with that podcast as well.

And the other two podcasts I've got is, what other ones have I got? Me.Me. Which ones have I got? Me.

Okay, these are the bigger podcasts, but there's a mix. These are my sleep insomnia. So sleep insomnia, hypnosis.

Monday, I had 769 downloads. Tuesday, the 14th, 954 downloads. Wednesday, the 15th of January, 751 downloads.

And yesterday, Thursday, the 16th of January, 1019 downloads. And if you think about the Let Me Bore You to Sleep recordings, it's pretty much just as many downloaded on this podcast as everyone is on the other one, on that one. So if that makes sense, there's a lot more being downloaded than it seems to be of each podcast, but they're just on other people's pod, not other people's, but other podcasts.

And it kind of made sense before I said it out loud. Lastly, this is, I think this is the most popular one, 131,066, sleep insomnia, hypnosis. Or is it the same one? No, it's a different one.

769 downloads on Monday, the 13th. Tuesday, the 14th of January, 954 downloads. Wednesday, the 15th, 751 downloads.

And Thursday, the 16th of January, 1019. Is that what I just said? I can't remember. Is it? It might be.

What one was that? That was, that was 131,066. Now I have got a higher, higher numbered one. Hypnosis of sleeping deeply.

This is 141,829 total. Oh, yeah, these, these are bigger numbers. Sorry.

I just repeated myself. I do apologize. So this is hypnosis for sleeping deeply, has all the, has all my sleep sessions on there, whether they're Whisper, the weekly ones, Deep Sleep Whisper, or the Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

141,829. Can't wait for that to reach 200,000. That's groovy.

Get excited. Monday, the 13th was 1,136 downloads. Tuesday, the 14th of January, 754 downloads.

Wednesday, the 15th, January, 1,117 downloads. Thursday, the 16th of January, 1,104 downloads. So you can see how the relaxation hypnosis for stress, anxiety, and panic is actually starting to play with the big boys, or the big girls on the other podcasts, starting to be very competitive, which is kind of exciting, really, I suppose.

Kind of, kind of. I think. So yeah, overall, my podcasts, I've had 702,225 downloads.

702,225 with 22,465 total plays. So yeah, I'm pleased with how it's going. Just need to get that to the million, just for my own pleasure, you know.

I think it'd be really good. So I was going to say something earlier, but I've got no idea what it was. Right, I've been thinking about telephone boxes.

Now, you may think, why? It doesn't matter why. I'm just, just, that's what I've been thinking about. It's none of your business why.

No, actually, the reason for it was, I went, I went to the farm shop today, because I didn't have, I didn't really, there were certain things I didn't have. There was never any margarine or butter, so I bought some butter. I bought a sausage roll and a cake.

And then I, before that, I got myself a mouse deterrent. It's this thing that you, it lets off a high frequency to deter mices. So I put it into the storage room and it's got batteries in it, so it doesn't have to be plugged in or anything.

Like most things that have batteries in them. And I went up to the counter to pay for it. I think it was like £9.99 or something.

And I said, have you got any batteries? And she's, the lady said, what does it take? So I take my glasses off to see her because she was way too close, I couldn't focus. She was, I said, I looked at the box and said, oh, double A. And she said, oh, okay. I said, do you sell that? She said, yeah, they're there.

She said, which one do you want? She pointed to two. Those ones are pretty much the same, by the same price, just different makes. I said, oh, I'll take that one then.

I took the Durex ones and she, I put them in the box, you know, got, what box? Put them in a bag, rather. I don't carry a box around unless I want to reach the top shelf. And I took it home, ripped open the battery box thing, you know, the lid bit, which they hang it up with.

And she'd given me treble A's, not, not double A's, treble A's, which meant they were too small, which meant I just spent probably, I don't know, four pounds or maybe even six pounds, I can't remember, on these batteries for nothing. And luckily my friend, he had some batteries, so he let me have three. And I put this thing into the storage room and I'm hoping it does the business because I don't have mice running around it.

Andre is a pretty big deterrent against any kind of vermin running around, you know, he'll have them. And also he lets off a stink as well to deter them. They don't want to be in this flat.

The only, the most they'll want to do is try and maybe get into a cupboard to get some food and then run off again. So in the kitchen cupboard underneath the sink, it's empty in there, but occasionally, not very often, I'll go in and check and there's a few little mouse droppings. So there has been a mouse in the cupboard, which means it can also get into the other cupboard at the bottom, but there's no food in there either, which is a bit annoying that I've got two cupboards that I can't actually put anything in.

It's like, you know, I'm not living in a mansion, I do need the storage that I've got. So it's a bit of a shame. So I might get another one of those alarm things and stick it in the kitchen.

Maybe put another one in here as well. But I've only ever seen a mouse once, or a mouse, and it got trapped in the living room. It didn't want to be in there.

But this was a couple of years ago. And I don't know how it ended up in this room. Must have just wandered in, just, I don't know, just having a little look around, and then suddenly confronted with me and Andre.

And it tried to get out. I closed the door so it couldn't get out, just so it couldn't get to any other part of the flat. And it was scratching and biting at the door to get out.

It really did not want to be in this flat, which is quite a good thing. You know, a mouse, or mouses, they're not prepared to make my home their home. Because Andre, this is his home.

And they're not going to want to be around him. You know, he's cute as anything, but he turns into an animal sometimes. Well, he is an animal, isn't he? But he's, you know, he's a little bit territorial.

I got asked earlier, someone said, you don't talk about Andre, haven't spoken about him much. Well, I think at this time of the year, well, not think, I kind of know, this time of year, he sleeps a hell of a lot. He's almost in some kind of hibernation-y sort of mode.

Although he's not hibernating, obviously, but he sleeps for much longer periods of time. And he's maybe awake for a couple of hours a day, you know, intermittently. So he might be up for half an hour, running around, and then he'll go back to sleep.

And get up another half an hour later on, run around and go back to sleep. And he's been asleep all day, pretty much. I saw him a couple of times.

He's just fast asleep. He just loves being asleep. And especially in this time of year, sort of in the winter.

And another thing he does is he likes to sleep near the radiator in the hallway. But just what he likes is he's in control of the distance. And he just gets a right measurement that suits him when he goes to sleep.

Plus, he's near the storage room where he wants to get to the mice if there are other ones in there. He's constantly trying to get in there. And he's also near the front door.

So he can, I suppose, guard his home, I suppose. I say his home. The one under lodger.

He's the landlord. But other than that, he's been pretty good. He's got this thing where he wants me to chase him.

He's like, chase me, chase me. And he runs, he looks at me. And then I go near him and he runs away and he hides behind the cooker.

Because he loves being able to hide where he knows I can't get to him. And I could, I'd just pull the cooker out and grab him if I had to. But you know, generally, I can't fit beyond the cooker.

Not quite that slim. I am incredibly slim, but not quite that slim. I am probably the slimmest person you'll ever meet, but not slim enough to get through the gaps between the cooker and the counter.

I am, I'm basically like a, like a flat bit of cardboard. That's kind of, nothing like that. What am I talking about? What am I talking about? So yeah, he's good.

He's all right. We've now come to a kind of a silent agreement that I don't lock in, well not lock in, but I don't close any of the doors when I'm in bed. Because I used to, I went from putting him in a cage to putting him into the living room with the door closed.

And the reason I did that is because he wouldn't leave me alone. He'd be nibbling at my face, trying to wake me up because he wanted to play. But now, as I now let him, so I close the door, I used to lock him, not lock him, but he can't get to the door handle and open it.

And, and he didn't like that. He didn't like being in one room and he does not like closed doors. Really doesn't like it.

It's a real, got a real issue with that. If it's a door, if it's a closed door, he wants to get through it. Doesn't want anything the other side.

He just wants the door to be open. And he does, he does a little patrol around the flat. He does, he goes into every room sometimes, goes into the bedroom, comes in the living room, looks around, goes into the kitchen, goes into the bathroom, and then walks up to the hallway, up to the front door.

He just wants to look around to make sure his home is how he wants it to be. Make sure there's no undesirables. It's just ridiculous.

He's, I think he's a bit of a control freak, actually. I think. But now, he leaves me alone when I'm in bed.

And sometimes he'll climb up and come to bed with me, you know, sleep with me. Or sometimes he'll already be asleep, and he'll just, you know, cuddle up or not cuddle up. He prefers it at the bottom of the bed.

Sometimes he will come a bit closer, and he'll lay on my hand, which I really like. It's all, I don't know, it's him just being loving, I guess. But he doesn't, it doesn't bother me anymore, though.

He doesn't try to wake me up. He just leaves me to sleep. I go to bed at, I don't know, six in the morning, and he leaves me alone.

He does his thing. And if he wants to play, he plays. And yeah, sometimes he wakes me up because he's scratching on the carpet or doing stuff, you know, being naughty.

But I just have to prepare for him. Because if I leave anything on a table, so I've got three flat surfaces in the living room. I've got a little table thing.

You know those tables that you have that you can have on your bed. You know, it's got a thing underneath that pushes under your bed so you can have your breakfast. I guess it's similar to the kind of things you have at hospital.

It's one of those, but like a, well, I guess a smaller version of that. And ironically, I got that the day, I bought that and had that delivered the day that the mouse appeared. I got those delivered on the Thursday and the mouse appeared on the Friday.

How weird is that? I remember that day because I thought it was, it was the delivery. They delivered a little mouse with the rest of the stuff they delivered. Anyway, there's that flat surface.

And I usually have bits on there, like TV, remote control, a few other little bits, maybe a plate that I've been eating off of. And then I've got another table, which is like a foldy uppy one, but it's a bit higher. And it's just handy for storage.

I've got it underneath my punch bag and it's useful for putting next to the other chair when I'm making a recording so that I can put the, like a drink on it. And, you know, because I don't always make recordings sitting at the laptop, like I am now. In fact, it's quite rare.

I don't make many recordings while I'm sitting at my desk. I'm usually sitting in a chair, usually sitting in a big black squeaky chair. I'm trying to move away from that and sitting in the other chair, which isn't squeaky, but isn't as comfortable.

So it's kind of, you know. But the thing is, if I leave anything on those flat surfaces, Andre climbs onto the chair and then knocks them off. He has to knock stuff onto the floor.

It's like he doesn't have a choice. Just as I'm speaking about him, he runs out of his little sleepy place and manages to find a way to make a sound. Should we call it sound? An increased volume of sound.

He looked up at me as if to say, what are you looking at? I've not even taken him out for a walk for a few days. It's so windy, wet, cold for him. I've not found it to be too cold for myself, but it has been windy and quite wet.

And I'll take him out. If it's not raining, I'll take him out for a walk and I have to carry him. Eventually I'll put him down on the grass as we're heading towards the park.

And sometimes he won't even get as far as the park before wanting to turn back. There's been times when I've actually took him outside the front, put him down straight away, he's turned back to come back home. Doesn't want to be outside.

And I kind of feel like I should force him to do it really for his own good. Get outside, some exercise, some fresh air and stuff, but he just doesn't, doesn't want it. And he digs his heels in, like literally digs his heels.

I have to drag him. So I've got this in a harness that I've got on him with a lead and I'm pulling and he's literally being dragged along. Of course, I don't want to do that on a pavement and get away with doing it on the grass.

Because he just slides along. But he chooses to do that. You know, I don't, I don't walk very fast.

So he can walk at any time. His legs work. That's a hundred percent.

So he chooses to be dragged along. And it looks, and sometimes I forget. I forget to look back to see how he is.

I'm just walking at my pace. And I look over, I realize that he's just, basically he's on his back with his legs in the air, looking up at me, laughing. Just, you know, nah, he can't, can't make me do anything.

Honestly, if he could wear roller skates, he would. Really, he would. So it gets to the point where I just carry him.

Although he does let me know, he puts his hands up on my leg to let me know he wants me to pick him up. So he's got that communication with me. There's a few other bits that he lets me know.

And when he wants to get down, he lets me know as well. Sometimes it's verbally. Get off me.

Let me down. You're not my real dad. What? He's very rude sometimes.

He's quite hurtful. So yeah, at the moment he's not loving the weather. But, which is quite weird because I've took him out on the snow in the past.

And he loved it. Well, I say he loved it. He had no choice really, but he, because I took him out in it, but he was fine.

I was going to say he didn't try and make his way back home, but he probably couldn't see where home was because all he could see was his tail up off the snow. So he had probably no idea where he was. But he seemed to be fine.

He seemed to like, really enjoy the process, you know. I'd have thought that would be colder. It's definitely colder than it is at the moment because it's not cold yet.

It's been mildly chilly a little bit, but it's January. It's the middle of January. I think anyone who moans about it being cold in January, if they live like in this country, it's like, what do you expect? It's supposed to be cold.

In fact, it's probably milder where I am anyway, in my part of the country. It's milder than it normally is. The coldness hasn't started yet.

Apparently it's supposed to start at the weekend with possible snow. But other parts of the country have had snow already. And then you've got Scotland.

Scotland had, I think, well, I'm just trying to remember the weather forecast, but I think they had lots of snow. And I think that's kind of... Rihanna, you should tell me. I've got a few Scottish friends on here.

And let me know, is it snowing where you are? Is it snowing where you are? Riri, is it snowing? I love snow. I'll be honest with you. I'm really honest.

I'm just a complete liar, but I love snow. And the only thing that I struggle with when it comes to snow is I don't have the clothes for it. I only have one pair of shoes, and they're not really suitable for anything outside of summer.

Plus, they've got a hole in now. I don't know how I'm going to get a hole in a shoe, but I think that's what happens if you just wear one pair of shoes all the time, just wear them out. So I need to get some more shoes and stuff.

But what I do need is some Wellington boots. So if it snows, I can actually get out without... Well, I've got these pants. They're trousers, but they're kind of mountaineering trousers that I bought probably about six years ago.

And they're really proper, thick, durable, waterproof, big old things. I actually bought them from the mountain shop. I didn't... It wasn't a shop on the mountain.

It's a shop... I think it's got the word mountain in the title of the shop. Mountain shop? Mountain trousers? I'm not sure, but it's something like that. But I bought these trousers because at the time, I was living in a very cold room, which... And it was damp, cold, like the cellar.

So I bought some clothes to keep myself warm. So the trousers were good. And I also got... Oh, it broke.

Yeah, the zip broke. But I got this, like a mountain top as well. It was green, I suppose, for camouflage apart from during the winter or when you get to the point where there's snow.

And it was quite thick and warm. It was a nice, nice, nice jacket. But the zip broke.

And that's a boring story. Wow. I bought a jacket and the zip broke.

That's everything. There's no more to say about that. I did have a jacket I liked once.

And I went to the zip broke. And it wasn't that one though. And I went to a place in town, which was one of these sewy places.

They sew... I don't know what they call them, sew zip sews. I suppose it's not all they do. It's not the zip sewing shop.

It's... I think they're dry cleaners as well. And they do adjustments on trousers and stuff. And they said, it might be cheaper to buy a new jacket.

I said, oh, thanks. So that's what I did. Got a new jacket.

But I liked that jacket. The other time, I went into Next. That's just a shop.

I think they're still going. Yeah, Next. And they were a really, really popular clothes shop in the 80s.

And probably 90s as well. But maybe, you know, 20s as well, or whatever. But anyway, they're like most retail.

It's kind of... It's not... Retail shops don't seem to be really working in today's society, unfortunately. Which is a shame, because I don't like the idea of having to buy clothes online. Not being able to try on trousers first.

Really? Nah, don't fancy that. I mean, isn't that part of the reason? It's part of the good thing is you're trying on trousers, and you know that, firstly, if they don't fit, it's okay. You can try another pair on.

So you don't have to sort of keep them. You haven't got to wait to send them back and go through all that process. You just stick it back on the hanger.

And the second good thing about it is you know that someone else is going to be wearing those trousers after you have. So I'm not saying let off a little fart. I'm just saying that's... No, I'll move on.

But yeah, it's... Then someone else has probably tried them on before I have. Hope they didn't fart. So yeah, I need to be able to try stuff on because I've got a weird body shape.

And I'm not a rectangular or triangle or, you know, I'm not a pentafagin. Pentafagin, is that a shape? Pentatonagon? No, I don't know. What's that? I'm not like a blob either, but see my waist measurement, I'm not going to tell you what it is because it's nothing to do with you.

Nothing. I'll tell you anything else, but not that. I actually had a conversation years ago.

It's totally true. And probably in the 80s or maybe it was in the 90s, but in the 80s, I think. 87, 88, 89, 99, maybe 91, maybe 90, maybe 80s.

Anyway, I was at work and this girl, she said to me, oh, she's a woman, but she was fairly young, probably about 19, 20, maybe. Yeah. And she was telling me how she'd caught chlamydia on holiday or something like that.

And, or some kind of, see, when I was a kid, we used to call it VD. But now they call it STD. Isn't there another term for it now? Um, well, this conversation is going good, isn't it? STD.

Let's see if there's another STD or STDs. Okay. Oh, maybe I thought there was another, another term for it that they'd change it to.

Oh, no, it is STIs. Just keep, stop changing things. And what's weird about, you know, so you might be 20 and you've grown up and that's what you've learned, STIs.

And you expect people in their 40s to know what you mean when you say STIs. When they might still know STDs, but then people in their 50s, they're thinking VD. Not, you know, that's what they used to get called.

That's what we used to term it, the umbrella term. And then if you speak to someone in their 90s or 80s, it was just the umbrella term was the clap. You know, even, it was just, uh, it's hard to keep up with all the different, um, terminology.

Anyway, she had one of them and it might have been gonorrhea or something anyway. And she said, yeah, I had this and met this bloke and I had to, she went into a little bit more detail than I was really, um, expecting to be fair. So I thought I'll change the subject.

This is grossing me out to be here. I don't really want to know. Um, you know, there's certain things I was struggling with already.

Um, as far as bodily functions, I couldn't quite get my head around. So it's like, I don't need more. It's like, no, let's just, let's keep it to the minimum.

So I thought I'd change the subject. So I thought I'll talk about politics. And I said to her, all right, so, um, who did you vote for for the, in the election? And she looked at me and said, that is personal.

I swear, I'll swear down. That's what she said. That is personal.

And you may be able to imagine my response. And it was very verbal. And it involved pointing out the ridiculousness of the situation, considering what she'd previously been discussing.

But back then, I think, uh, I was, I wasn't careful with what I said or how I said it. So yeah, I don't, uh, I don't think she ever spoke to me again after that. I think it was, I think I was 19 or 18, 19.

Maybe I might've been 17 now, don't know. Either way, I was annoying. I don't know.

Sometimes. But aren't all teenagers annoying sometimes? I suppose all humans are, aren't they? Let's face it. All human beings.

Right. Telephone boxes. Let's have a quick drink.

Hmm. All right. The reason I thought about this is because I was on my way to the farm shop.

And then I started talking about the farm shop, but the telephone box, which is one of the last, um, telephone boxes I've ever actually seen that was in working use, has now had the telephone removed. So it's just empty. And there's a sign saying this telephone, um, this telephone box is now closed.

And I'm wondering, did they need to put a sign there? Would someone still be standing in there thinking, I don't get it. What, what, where's the phone? Where's the phone? What's going on? Right. And they needed that, that sign.

Oh, it's closed. Oh, okay. There's no, that's why there's no phone.

Oh, lucky. I need to go to the toilet in a minute. That's all the telephone boxes we use for at night anyway.

Toilets, public toilets, which is mildly disgusting. Telephone boxes and lifts or elevators in tower blocks, like council blocks. Honestly, I used to clean council estates years ago.

And some of these lifts are beautiful. They were, they were really lovely lifts and the people, well not everyone, but, um, I'd say most of the people that lived there appreciated having the lifts there because they lived very high up. Some of them were, you know, had mobility issues, so they needed the lift.

But even if you haven't got mobility issues, carrying shopping, bags of shopping up, you know, 14 flights of stairs and stuff is not fun. But every single morning I'd come in and every single lift reeked of, you know, that familiar smell that you get as you walk past shop doorways at six o'clock in the morning from the night before. You know, it's like every single time.

It's just been grim, very grim. But the lifts were lovely. I'm not in love with the lifts, I'm not, don't get me wrong, I'm not.

You know, what do you keep going on about the lifts for? I'm not keep going on about it, it's the first time. Why do you call them lifts when they're elevators? Well, they're lifts in this country, they're elevators in other countries, but we call them lifts, just like sidewalk is to pavement here. You know, you don't, it's, I don't know why, I mean, I can see, it's like elevated, elevator and lift doesn't even sound like the same thing.

Until you say someone, I elevated someone's mood. I gave someone's mood a lift. Then it's like, oh, well, it's the same thing.

Actually, it's, it's kind of lifting up, isn't it? And so, and that's what I do. I elevate. I'm an elevator.

I'll elevate people's moods so that they feel better, or at least that they feel glad that they're not me. And so this telephone box is now closed. And I just feel a little bit sad, a little bit, just because it's my heritage.

It's my history, not my history, but the country's history. Those telephone boxes and the original telephone boxes or the ones that I grew up with were red, red telephone boxes in the 70s, 80s. I'm saying that I don't know what year they started turning them into more like see-through, different kinds of boxes that they are now.

But yeah. When did telephone boxes come to the UK? A question's asked. The first standard public telephone kiosk introduced by the United Kingdom Post Office was produced in Concrete in 1921 and was designated K1, kiosk number one.

So that's interesting. So here's a few little facts about the red telephone box, which is very famous. I mean, it's one of the things this country's known for.

Well, one of the nice things to this country, but one of the quaint things or cheerful things, you know, like one of the things from history, a bit like maybe, I was going to say Pox, but that's not the right one. But, you know, there's different things from the past that really were popular. I suppose double-decker buses, that would be one.

You know, the big red double-decker buses. Were they red? Yeah, they were red. The telephone boxes and the post boxes were all red as well.

Now, I think you can still get onto the big red double-decker buses in London for tourist stuff, but they're not used anymore. Those type of buses are long gone. Well, in the South, I don't know if they have them in other places.

And I say that because when I went to Manchester a few years back, they still had a tram service. I couldn't believe it. I didn't know trams still existed outside of Amsterdam.

Amsterdam, tram. Do you reckon it's a coincidence that it sounds similar? See, yeah, I don't know. So, I went on the tram.

It was pretty groovy. I liked it. It's like a train and a bus.

It's kind of like a train and a bus mixed together. It's basically, the inside's kind of like a bus. The outside's like a train because it's on tracks, but it stops more regularly than a train.

It kind of stops as often as a bus would, but it's not a bus. And I'm pretty sure, don't they have the overwire electricity cables to keep it running? And it goes like that. It's my impression of a tram.

I might be wrong though. I'm really wrong, but I might, on this occasion, the first time ever be wrong. So, the telephone, the red telephone box, a telephone kiosk for a public telephone designed by Sir Giles Gilbert Scott.

Just Giles Scott. We need to have the Sir at the beginning, but we don't need his middle name really, I don't think. It's a familiar sight on the streets of the United Kingdom at Malta, Bermuda and Gibraltar.

Is a familiar sight? No, it's not. It says here, despite a reduction in their numbers in recent years, the traditional British red kiosk can still be seen in many places throughout the UK and in current or former British colonies around the world. The colour red was chosen to make them easy to spot.

I suppose that makes sense, but they are quite big. And even if they were yellow or green, in fact, even if they were green next to a tree, a green tree, I don't think anyone would be looking around thinking, where's the phone box? I can't see it. All I can see is this tree.

No, you'd see it. Plus it has the word telephone and it's got glass in it. From 1926 onwards, the fascias of the kiosks were emblazoned with a prominent crown representing the British government.

The red phone box is often seen as a British cultural icon. Yeah, that's what I would say. In 2000, throughout the world, in 2006, the K2 telephone box was voted one of Britain's top 10 design icons, which include the Mini, Supermarine Spitfire, London Tube Map, World Wide Web, Concorde and the AEC Route Master Bus.

Yeah, England, England invented the internet. Yep. Now, my question is this, and I want the answer.

I don't know if I'll get the correct answer. How many are there? Because how many? Apparently, according to this, and this is from offcom.org.uk, which is, yeah, it says there are many people who rely on the UK's 67,000 public call boxes, known as call boxes or phone boxes. I don't.

I've been places, I've been places, I've seen things. Why are London buses red? Well, they're not, but they used to be. The reason behind their colour dates to the early 1900s, when the transport system was operated by different rival companies.

London General Omnibus Company, or LGOC, owned most of the buses, and in 1907, painted its entire fleet red to stand out from competitors. And isn't that interesting that, but not, but the phone boxes were red. The buses, in London anyway, maybe not other parts, I don't know, were red, most of them.

And the post boxes were red. And Santa's house, his hat is red. Santa's hat is red.

I honestly haven't seen a telephone box that works. I think there's one, one in town, I think I've seen. Yeah.

I'm surprised there's hardly any. I mean, I think it's good that there's at least a couple. Because not everybody's, you know, they might not, their mobile phone might not be working, might run out of juice, you know.

But 67,000 in the UK, that seems like a bit too many. I think they're fibbing. I do.

I think they're fibbing. Do you have phone boxes in other countries? Or have they all been taken away? Or are they just being introduced? You know, I don't know. That's interesting, I wonder.

Here's my last question. Why are telephone boxes red? Ah, this is interesting. The red telephone box was the result of a competition in 1924 to design a kiosk that would be acceptable to the London Metropolitan Brothers, which had hitherto, I've never said that word out loud before, resisted the post office's effort to erect K1 kiosks on their streets.

So basically, it was a result of a competition. So why are post boxes red? We already know about the bus, because the buses were red to stand out from their competition. So here it says, between 1866 and 1879, the hexagon penfold post box became the standard design for pillar boxes.

And it was during this period that red was first adopted as the standard colour. The first boxes to be painted red were in London, in July, 1874. Although it would be nearly 10 years before all the boxes had been repainted.

That's a long time ago, isn't it? So 1874, they started painting the London post boxes red. Now, I've lived in other places around the country. And when I was a kid, the post boxes were red.

Pretty much everywhere. I don't think any of them were a different colour. They might have been.

They might not have been, but they might have been. I don't know. What other things were red? Oh, look at this.

Green post boxes. I didn't know about green post boxes. Ah, look.

The first British pillar boxes, telephone box, that's the post boxes. The first British pillar boxes were opened for use, for public use, on Jersey on the 23rd of November, 1852. Shortly after, the Jersey Times reported on these new boxes to its readers, informed them that the boxes were painted red.

Until 1859, when the design was standardised, local foundries were contacted to both manufacture. All right, I told the pictures. Beginnings in red.

Ah, so before that, apparently, they were painted green, or bronze green. That wasn't quite as enlightening. This is, yeah, okay.

What other things were painted red? Oh, that's Andre making a weird noise. What other things? Um, I can't think of anything else. That must be everything then.

How wonderful. I can't believe we've got through another hour and 16 minutes. Oh, look.

Rare post boxes, UK. Look at some images. Yeah, oh, there's a black one, there's a green one, red one, yellow one in Derbyshire.

There's a blue one. I like that, that's nice. There's one on the floor.

Actually, yeah, it's not. It's fallen apart. There's a gold one.

Looks almost like a Dalek. Wow. There's even a rare miniature oak post box.

Hampton Antiques.co.uk is the place. Oh, I need to look into this. Maybe that's how it used to be.

It's been made of wood. Wow. That's some groovy stuff.

I think I've found my new hobby. Who'd have thought it would be post boxes? Anyway, I'm going to go now. That's all.

Thank you for listening. Take care of yourselves. Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy.

And I shall bore you again tomorrow. Lots of love. Bye.