#258 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (20th November 2019)

Hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. It's the second introduction I've done so far for this recording because I just pressed a button which cancelled what I was doing, which was a slightly, slightly, incredibly, really annoying. That's all right, I was only about a minute in so it doesn't matter.

So what is it? Yeah, this is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Check out my website jasonnewland.com because every recording I've done is on there.

It's 1,150 plus recordings. You can also find out a little bit more about me and there's a testimonial page where you can read what other people have said and maybe leave your own testimonial. There's the gift me page where you can send me a gift if you choose.

There is a podcast page which lists all the different podcasts that I've got and, you know, there's lots of stuff. The website's never really going to be completed because there's always something new that can be done. There's always something extra that can be added and, yeah, so it's kind of never finished.

But my plan is to keep this website as it is and just add to it and not change it again and use another host provider and all that stuff that I've done continuously since 2000, well since 2004 actually, well actually since 2000 when I first started making websites. So yeah, I can't believe in nearly 20 years since I've been making websites. My very first website, if I remember, my first actual website, you know, the domain name was called TidySearch.

It was either .com or .co.uk. I'm sure it was TidySearch.com. It might have been called .co.uk and in those days there wasn't lots of different domain names, extensions like there are now, like .co.uk, pizza delivery, you know, things like that because now there's loads. .net came along. I think it was kind of, what was it, .com then .co.uk and then .net kind of started to take the place of the .com because everyone now .coms and that's just in England.

I mean .net was an international one like .com, .co.uk of course was for the UK and then you've got .nz for New Zealand but also .com that, you know, so people from all over the world, businesses had .com domains. But some couldn't get a .com because it was already taken. So if you heard something, I don't know if it's true but I think someone owned amazon.co.uk, that domain name, and amazon and they held on to it.

I mean there might have just been, they might have just been making a website about pictures of the amazon forest or it might be in a, you know, to save the amazon forest there might be some kind of charity or something, I don't know. But anyway they had the .co.uk, amazon.co.uk and amazon wanted it. And again I don't know if this is true or not, I might have just made it up on the spot.

It's possible I do that a lot but I'm pretty sure that they paid a huge amount of money to purchase the . co. uk domain name. So yeah, there's definitely money to be made for those that know what they're doing but that's a case for everything though isn't it really? Apart from what I do, there's no money but if people are really good at something generally or if they know a subject really well, whether it's trading or banking or medical or I don't know, the law or whatever, they're trying to think of different things. There's so many different subjects but if you really really know your stuff then there's value to that isn't there?

So someone that they knew, they kind of perhaps knew, they looked at this little company called amazon back in the early days that wasn't going to actually make a profit for another 18 years or something but they thought oh we keep all of this yeah I wonder if someone's got an alibaba. co.

uk I just had it because they liked the name or maybe wasn't it a what's it and all part of the old flying carpet books and Open Sesame and stuff like that you know Sinbad and stuff like that so I just because Alibaba is one of the biggest websites in the world but it's in where is it in is it India or is it China anyway it's one of the countries that has the most amount of people which is India or China or Russia isn't it and then America I think how cool would that be

if I just named in order the top populated countries I know China is because not many countries have over a billion people China does India does Isle of Wight I'm not sure I don't think the Isle of Wight does Norwich I don't think Norwich what other countries has over a billion billion that's quite a lot and quite a lot of people a billion I'm not sure I know America's got about 360 million and Canada although it's a much bigger country than America space like land-wise isn't it it's uh I think they've got about the same

population as what we've got here about 60 million I think but then I saw this documentary on YouTube and it was about I think it was Nicaragua or is it it was it no not Liverpool it was where was it it was um like South America I think but I might be wrong again it might be Africa doesn't Africa have over a billion so India Africa and China and Russia those are the places that have over over a billion but then Africa is a continent isn't it although some people live in Africa don't class it

as that we need to get rid of continents just stick with adjectives we need to get rid of um get rid of continents just have one country anything that's surrounded by sea that's a country because I think that should just be the law from tomorrow think of all the all the fun we'll get to watch on the telly or the news bulletins the wall has been cancelled the wall there's uh it's just like oh no we're Americans we're coming in so how do you help it work out how do you work out when you're on

the same land it's the same land I mean literally you can talk to somebody in another country if you share in the same land which is the continent you're sharing hi oh you okay yeah I'm fine thanks oh we'll stay there won't you why well this is our country here you're not allowed in we have to check your bags for food and stuff make sure you're not bringing in bananas what yeah but it's the same ground ground it's the same land no not really yeah it is no no it's a different country how can it

be a different country you're over there and we're over here I can see you we can we can talk to each other without our phone we why why can that be a different country well we've got different weather haven't we the weather looks the same as it does here yeah but I don't mean just here well where then well back home where I live it's raining yeah back home where I live it's raining oh where do you live then I live at home oh me too so it's raining where you are yeah we're not here

because we're both in the same place no we're not we're different countries I'm here and you're over there yeah but there's 20 foot between us 20 feet between us how can that be a different country oh it's a continent isn't it what does that mean I'm not sure it just means that it's like invisible if you think of it like invisible water like the invisible sea yeah well that's what it is we're an island surrounded by invisible sea but in reality connected to other islands it's also surrounded by invisible sea and the way we try

and make sure you all know is we speak different languages well how did that happen how did how did you manage to speak a different language from me well I don't do I otherwise you wouldn't understand me I said yeah but that's a good point yeah but how do you how can we speak different languages when there's 20 foot difference between us 20 feet and why why would you why not just all speak the same language well I think there's been people in history that thought that was a good idea and they weren't very popular

oh okay well I don't want to go down that road but I'm just saying how come we speak different languages that was more what I was saying if you well they were popular for a while but you know afterwards not so much yeah no I'm not talking about that I'm talking about you it's this 20 foot difference between us how how can that be a how how is that even possible well I'll be honest with you it happened a little bit before my time what what did well in the old days yeah people used to

fight over territory yeah yeah and that's it really so how how so so basically what you're saying is that line but invisible it's invisible isn't it well it's invisible if you don't know it's there what it's invisible if you don't know it's there I did actually understand what you say you didn't have to say it really slowly like I don't need to be spoon-fed words I do understand what you're saying I just it's not really a line is it so so what you're telling me okay what you're telling me is that that because we're in

a field yeah we're in a field at the moment so those uh potatoes that are over there on your side of the line the invisible line that no one can see but we all know it's there and the potatoes my line um on my side of the line they're completely different potatoes well yeah everything's unique isn't it no I don't mean different in that way what I mean is oh this is difficult uh they're potatoes aren't they yeah you are clever oi oh sorry listen they're potatoes what difference is there and they don't have different

accents they don't speak a different language they don't taste any different they're the same potatoes from the same family made from the same feed you know the same seeds and grown by the same soil yeah so what's the difference the invisible line okay so basically what you're saying is we all share the same land the same ground it's all connected but each of our little bits of ground or big bits whatever is surrounded by an invisible line which no one can see but everyone knows is there that is almost like an invisible sea that's surrounding

each part of the continent which we call countries so it's like invisible islands oh no it's more like islands within the visible sea but instead of the sea there's an invisible line is that what you're saying I'm not sure what do you mean well I got a little bit confused if I'm honest about what well you what about me we just kept going on and on you didn't I'll be honest with you I got a little bit bored when you were talking I kind of drifted off a bit you drifted off a bit yeah I

started thinking about what I was gonna have for dinner what it's a bit rude isn't it well we've all got to eat haven't we got to have something to eat yeah but why were you thinking about dinner while I was talking I don't know I was just so bored it was just it was almost like my brain switched off and I just just I couldn't I just didn't want to listen anymore okay don't hold back will you you know what do you mean I said don't hold back just say what you think well yeah I

just did say what I think I know but it's sarcasm don't don't what do you mean uh sarcasm you know sarcasm no we don't have that here the invisible line stops it getting past stops it getting through we don't need a wall we just got the invisible line okay what do you keep talking about a wall for you were talking about a wall earlier yeah but not with a conversation with you that was that was precursor to this conversation you weren't even invented at that point what do you mean invented you weren't you weren't a

part of of the you weren't part of the podcast you weren't part of the of the audio recording are you recording this yeah yeah I'm recording this why well I do these basically I do these recordings to uh help people to sleep to um yeah it's just to help people to relax feel calm um maybe you know also for keeping company maybe I've been told that's what benefit people get and that wasn't actually my initial uh goal it was really just to send people to sleep and then sort of it's developed over time into whatever

it currently is and it I'm probably sure it will develop into something different or something you know in the future are you listening oh sorry I drifted off you really are very boring that's a bit rude isn't it oh sorry I can't help it I just I just say it how it is no say it how it is that's an incorrect term what do you mean well saying it how it is presupposes that how you think is somehow the way it is for everybody yeah but it isn't is it why well just because you have

an opinion on what you think something you you how you perceive something isn't going to be the way other people perceive it is it why um um I don't know how to answer that why you're just gonna keep saying why you're trying to wind me up no well yeah yeah I thought so also anyway yeah why yeah I'm just kidding well um what are you doing recording for then I told you it was about helping people to sleep well shouldn't you have asked my permission if you're going to be recording me perhaps in different circumstances

such as well if you um existed you talking about Willis said my name isn't Willis my name is not Willis I know but it's from different strokes remember yeah of course I do we talked about Willis you know what for years I used to think I forgot you know because I hadn't seen it for a long time I used to think it was what are you talking about Will but it's not it's Willis what are you talking about Willis that's really really nice that you keep repeating that you know it works much better with the

face if you put like make that like grumpy face and just what are you talking about Willis and just stare at the person really works okay let me ask you a question what in what particular scenario could that work well before I answer that let me ask you a question yeah go on then do you by any chance watch Curb Your Enthusiasm with Larry David yeah I have so you just copied him didn't you what when you said uh can I ask you a question that's what he says yeah yeah he's not the only person

that's allowed to to say a sentence yeah I suppose but the way you presented it it was a it was no I don't think it was no I think you're wrong I think it was yeah you got a lot of thinking haven't you you've got a lot of opinions for yourself what about having an open mind what do you mean well you seem hope you don't mind me saying so with respect you seem quite small-minded and quite closed off to you know things did you just say with respect before you said that yeah you heard

I just said that well what part of it was respectful and also what's that noise in the background that's that's Andre he's going off I think he's getting heavier because I've been feeding him twice a day and uh because it's the cold weather it's really got cold lately and he's sleeping more but also I think giving him a bit more food just so he can just help keep warm I suppose I'm not sure if that makes sense um well okay I'll reverse it in the summer he is less hungry yeah he seems to be hungrier

at the moment than normal yeah why are you saying yeah like there's something else to come I just told you what I was saying yeah no that's it could you please stop it no why are you so annoying I'm not what do you mean you're not well how can I be that's a weird question how can you be what does that mean well you said that you created me that I'm not even real yeah well therefore yeah whatever I say also isn't real yeah I know but for the sake of the tape can you just

like forget that bit no sorry with respect nah nah yeah that was a weird sound not as weird as you what does that even mean you start saying stuff that doesn't even mean anything like what do you mean not even mean I don't sound like that yeah you do to me yeah well maybe to you not to me you ever notice your voice is changing a little bit yeah I know why is that well I kind of forgot what my voice was at the beginning of the recording and now it seems to have changed a

little bit yeah well it's not totally easy to do two different voices at the same time well you know in a conversation okay and also you know as you're in the in the judging zone I've noticed that your voice has been getting deeper what do you mean was that a sarcastic laugh no I genuinely found it funny that's not a real laugh it might be that's not how do you know it doesn't matter how I know the point is it ain't perhaps it is perhaps it isn't are you making fun of the way I talk

no are you making fun of the way I talk that wasn't even the sentence what are you doing stop it stop it I know at least that was a good a proper word what was that well no offense but uh when you talk all I hear is what yeah it's true it's all I hear and the beginning of that you said no offense yeah I know oh now that was a genuine laugh that's different to the other one you had oh no don't try and put on a weird laugh again like it's real that one

you just did then was real but that that fake one that sounded like a gremlin in a blender that now that that wasn't real that's a bit of a horrible visual isn't it what a gremlin in a blender okay let's move on I should move on when I see fit to move on besides I want to hear more about these recordings okay um well I told you really I make the recordings to help people to go to sleep so yeah what do you do well I don't really do anything I just um I just talk

for about an hour yeah that's it you talk for about an hour yeah but um well can you say more not really that's about it is this what you're like in a job interview what well I just imagine you being in a job interview and the person interviewing you saying oh so can you tell me more about your your last job or and you just said just saying no I just turned up you never get a job well I'll have you known that I've I have had jobs I worked for 25 26 years and I

was always able to get work so I must have done something right in it ah you're not working now though are you yeah well that's that's a different that's a different situation that's very rude I can't I can't believe some of the stuff you're saying yeah but it's not really me is it oh you mean the having a bad day it's not really how you normally are no I mean it's not really me what well you're the one doing the talking what are you talking about well you're doing both voices so you're responsible for what

I say so why on earth would you pretend to be shocked on what I've just said what you've heard me say and you're the one that made me say it because you are me yeah it's it's complicated isn't it well does it have to be I don't know how how would you how would you simplify it well perhaps you just just have one voice and you just talk it might be a bit easier yeah you're probably right I mean this just happens sometimes in the recordings I don't I don't plan it well clearly what do

you mean by that well if you planned it it'd be well I don't know it makes sense a little bit wouldn't it you're so rude no I think you find that you're rude you're making me rude blimey this is getting this a lot of hard work well not really is it what you what you you just question every single thing I say you just just say I'm questioning every single thing you say or every single thing you say oh you know you're gonna make the make fun of the way I talk no I'm just just

just asking oh yes yes the real laugh again yeah well you do both laughs so you're responsible I'm um I don't know I I'm not sure what what is it you're not sure of well I'm not sure how to end this conversation no I could I do understand I mean I've been part of this conversation for the last 15 minutes or whatever and it doesn't seem to be headed anywhere yeah I know it's a bit like your life oh hey oh that is extra rude you can't say stuff like that yeah it's kind of true

isn't it no my my life is heading it's heading somewhere where then well I'm helping well I'm trying to help people through my internet you know the the recordings I make I'm trying trying to help people yeah well that's it really how is that how is that making your life head somewhere I'm not sure what the answer to that is um well let me let me ask you a different way okay this is getting a little bit deep but go on well what is the benefit to you doing all these recordings um I feel that

I'm contributing to the world contributing of making a contribution in my life I'm doing something worthwhile I think yeah go on well um are you putting on spoil a bit well no it's good isn't it uh maybe maybe not um I um that's it it's doing something that feels worthwhile and that is that's priceless you know there's no that's the reward I suppose oh okay so you're pretty much a saint is that what you're saying I'm not saying that is it you're perfect no of course not and if you listen to any of my recordings

you'll know that at no point do I try and pretend that I'm perfect or that I know everything I never pretend that I'm uh I'm quite honest with people and about who I am and I think I don't yeah I mean that was a bit rude wasn't it what were you yawning not really I mean this this recording is about sending people to sleep so yawning is that's a good indicator that it's working I mean if I if I tire if I if I tire myself out whilst talking then there's a good chance that the

person at the other side of the headphones headphones you know whoever's listening I mean will also be feeling tired as well and that was a long sentence but I just answered your question if you ask me a question I'm gonna answer let me ask you a question yeah go on Larry David let me ask you let me ask you a question I forgot which voice I was then let me ask you're laughing at your own jokes now are you yeah I know it's terrible isn't it let me ask you a question and I wish I

could remember what the question was now I will in a minute um um let me think do you think that uh your sentences may be a bit long what do you mean I mean just generally well if you ask me a question which I did yeah then my answer is whatever it is isn't it I mean if you I mean you could just sort of say I've got a question can you please answer in less than seven words but that's a little bit it's a little bit restrictive isn't it I don't play those games what

was that well I went to start talking and my voice went weird so I kind of just made a funny noise instead oh it's it's a unusual thing to say yeah maybe maybe baby is that why you do the recordings why because you can't get anyone that you know to listen to you talking so you have to put it on the internet no because what I think is yeah go on what what I think no I was going to continue I didn't need you to uh didn't need your affirmation there what I think is that

you made a podcast and you called it Jason's brilliant thoughts or Jason's really interesting podcast Jason's really interesting life Jason's really interesting sentences it lasts forever well no there's none of the names but yeah go on I think I'm kind of covered around I think I know what you're gonna say trust me mate you never know what I'm gonna say well actually you always do don't you but forget okay and go on well and you and you were getting downloads and it became fairly popular and you didn't understand why but you thought it was because

you were really interesting and then people started to send you well you asked people you said I really like the fact you're listening but I'd love to get some feedback and people start sending you comments and feedback but it was a little bit different to what you thought it was gonna be what do you mean well you thought it was going to be people saying how very interesting you are and how stimulating your conversations are and you know that's what you thought isn't it I'm not answering that go on well what you actually received was

comments from people saying how you're the most boring person they've ever met they've ever heard or ever listened to and and people were just falling asleep listening to you and that's what they listened to you for is that right or wrong well um and then you changed your name to let me bore you to sleep and you pretend to this day that that was your initial intention when the reality is you actually wanted people to be interested in what you were talking about that no yeah no yeah no yes it was yes it was yes

it was said it three times that makes it true saying something three times doesn't make it true I suppose yeah well I don't know where'd you come up with this stuff well I think you'll find it's a a mutual arrangement yeah I suppose yeah anyway that's not how it worked at all okay so how did it work well actually it was almost the opposite to that well not the opposite but okay it's similar oh this is interesting well back in 2011 or actually even further than that 2006 I was making update videos will just be

an update is an update on how the hypnosis service is going or I've made another video for pain relief I've done this I've got a new website you know stuff like that and I do an update and then I talk a little bit about my life and this was before before I went to university so I remember I'd do an update saying back in November 2007 saying well I've now moved into my new new little room and I'm going to be here for the next three years whilst I'm at college and I remember I haven't

got that video anymore but it's on it's one of the other video sites not YouTube but one of the others and you know I did that and then 2011 I started doing or maybe a bit earlier than that I started doing videos like vlogging vlogging no vlogging v l o g g i n g basically blogging but with a v instead of a b and just talking about my life so I did that for a while and well I mean to still do it now and then so it's between a lot for the last eight

or so years I've been doing those and but I don't do that very often now but I've had quite a few people tell me that in the past they were saying I love listening to you because it just sends me to sleep and I never responded never responded in a kind of I just always said oh thank you but deep down I kind of well I've just been talking about my life and it's boring you to sleep that wasn't really the intention I mean I wasn't I didn't expect people to jump up and down with

excitement whenever I did a video but these were videos where I was talking about how I was feeling and talking about you know stuff like real stuff and I was getting feedback from people saying that well actually when I took them off YouTube I had people contacting me saying oh where's your Jason Chatz gone they used to send me to sleep very relaxing I was like oh great so that kind of sowed the little seed in my head that maybe maybe I just could use that well first of all maybe I'm much more boring than

I thought and secondly maybe I could use that as a skill rather than a hindrance so I could use it for positivity and so I could take take that and you do you say that a lot are you a bit nervous or what no I can't remember now you've thrown me off my uh thrown me off my uh thought trail when you say I've thrown you off your thought trail is that what you really mean or do you mean I interrupted your monologue no well maybe well monologues are easier than dialogues you know this I'm

not probably for some people they're not but um I'm clearly I don't even need other people for it for dialogues I can just do that myself but monologues I just I don't know I don't know why but I just I'm not even I don't even particularly like talking I'm not like a constant chatterer I can be sometimes but I'm quite a solitude-ious person I've got no idea what that means yeah I think I made it up someone that likes to be in solitude solitude-ious yeah possibly but anyway the um that's when I thought I'm gonna

give it a go why not why not just do because I've done so many different things over the years so you know tried out different things different audio recordings different courses and I thought let me see if this works let me just talk basically do a Jason Chats but don't call it Jason Chats just call it let me bore you to sleep and not do it on video just do on audio which means I can just when I make videos I get distracted yeah did you notice that I'm interacting with you because this isn't a

monologue this is a dialogue yeah but I'm just not interested in what you've got to say though well that makes two of us wow yeah wow indeed you're so rude oh I'm sorry I was only well I wasn't really joking at it yeah and I was that's what I did I did the let me bore you to sleep and it kind of took off and yeah I get in fact most of the feedback I get about my podcasts is about this podcast so that's quite groovy oh that's nice so yeah I just um and then

can you believe it this uh well not this podcast but it was um um well it's one of these podcasts but it was on a different it was on my like well one of these episodes was reviewed by a podcast reviewer and they were saying that I was copying other people because I found out later after I started making these recordings that there is I'm not the only one doing it and there's someone that's been doing it for well that's the thing he's been doing it for a while for some years some years but I

was making recordings long before he was except I wasn't calling them let me bore you to sleep but I was making sleep recordings so I kind of think that well first of all I don't I didn't copy anyone because no one does no one does this no one does what I do and I don't do what they do because we're all different aren't we we all do our own thing and you could have a thousand people doing exactly the same thing as this they could all call it let me bore you to sleep and just

with their name or Bobby let me let Bobby bore you to sleep let Tracy bore you to sleep let Stevie bore you to sleep yeah I'm just trying to be part of things yeah go on okay um oh yeah and then each recording would be completely different from each other because it would be their own I don't know personalities or whatever they bring to the show yeah that makes sense yeah so that's what I do that's what I did and that's what um continuing to do and it's just me chatting about whatever really was that

uh does that answer your question very much does I'm very pleased for your answer no matter how long it took for you to give the answer and luckily I was able to knit myself a nice big scarf while you were talking so that was good and to be honest with you I do find you very boring and uh I can imagine a lot of people to fall asleep listening to you so keep up the good work you know even though that sounded like a compliment it also didn't it's weird isn't it yeah not really are

you interested if I'm honest no no well I think we should wrap this up oh thank goodness I thought this was going to go on forever honestly I thought you were going to talk so much that I'd run out of wool I've already got through 14 sheets already why you're such an exaggerator yeah I know anyway I want to go I'll see you later yeah bye mate um all right so that's it that's the end of this recording actually wait okay come back come back come back yeah what do you want to do the ending

yeah all right if you want all right then you say it then okay remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love bye bye bye bye bye why this is my recording let me say I want to have the last word why I want to say goodbye I'll let you do the last bit yeah but that should be it I mean there's a gap did you not notice there was a little gap and that should be the end of it yeah but I want to say goodbye I mean people

listening you stayed they they used to to me listen to talking and I always say goodbye at yeah and this time I said goodbye you said I could yeah it doesn't have to just play the game won't you what game what marbles marbles marbles yeah I don't mean marbles I mean marbles you know when you chuck the balls on the floor and you you try and hit them with the other ball and yeah but I don't think anyone's played marbles since 1982 well I think you may be wrong there yeah well wouldn't be the first

time no what do you mean well come on let's not get into that anymore I just want to go home yeah I know I know all right well I'll speak to you later and uh goodbye everyone yeah goodbye everyone uh lots of love lots of love I mean boy oh come on don't start repeating everything I say I do not sound like that all right I'm going okay bye everyone