#288 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (28th December 2019)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name's Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. And yeah, that's it.

I'm going to make this recording, upload it and then I'm going to go to bed myself. My sleep patterns changed. Not through choice, because I quite like being up at night.

But for some reason I've just been going to bed a bit earlier. Last night was really weird. I was in bed.

I went to bed at half eight in the evening, just for a little sleep. Woke up at one. I had something to eat and I went back to bed till about nine in the morning.

Really strange. It's unlike me to sleep like that. I have the opposite problem of getting to sleep.

It's more I sleep probably too much sometimes. You know what it might be is I'm listening to my own thoughts and they're boring me. So I just end up falling asleep.

And then I wake up and I start thinking again and I start listening to my thoughts and I fall back asleep again because I'm so boring. Right, a couple of things. Hope that everybody has got through the Christmas okay.

All the listeners. I say that in a different way. It's based on not just my personal experience, but based on what I've seen on Facebook.

And some of my Facebook friends have been struggling. So I hope that you're all okay and Christmas is now done and we can all sort of get on with the new year that's coming. New year, new start.

That's what I... I know that's a cliche but I always think that every year I've not really sort of in my heart celebrated Christmas since 2015. No, 1985, 1984. That's probably the last time that I had a family, you know, with my family and brothers and was all there.

So probably about 1984, 85-ish time. And since then I've kind of just gone along with it. But you know my heart's not really been in it.

Not really. And it's the society kind of... it's very forceful. It's a very forced thing.

But at the same time it's also a beautiful thing for those that do celebrate it. And you know it can be one of the happiest times of the year so you know I keep... I try and keep upbeat, you know, with the whole thing when I'm with people that do celebrate it. Just in the same way as if someone mentioned a TV show that they love watching and I don't put down the TV show.

I don't be negative towards it because that's something that they love. Because I know it's, you know, I've had that with me sort of being with friends. Oh I want to go and watch the... I want to get home to watch The X Factor.

And then I'll go into... or Big Brother or whatever it might have been that I was watching. And they're going, oh you watch that crap? Actually that was a painful experience. I really didn't enjoy that conversation.

And I really don't like that person right now at the moment. So I try not to do that with other people. And so I kind of... I try not to... If someone likes a certain music, someone likes a certain TV program, I don't watch it myself.

I'm not going to go into a big... about it because it's unpleasant for them. Unless of course I don't like them then. They're not... even if I like the program I'd say I don't because I'm evil.

But I know... I hope that everyone's got through the seasonal time. See I'm... I'm pretty much a Buddhist so this isn't my festival, you know, from a religious... from a religious perspective. And there's a lot of people that aren't... that don't celebrate Christmas as a festival, as a like a religious thing.

I'd say probably most people actually but... because more of a traditional thing. But it does still that pressure. So if you're a Buddhist there's still that pressure, oh you should celebrate Christmas.

I bet you other religious don't get that. You know, oh you should celebrate Christmas. Well no, but Buddhists I think it's kind of... go on.

Can't you just celebrate it? Can't you just... just get involved a little bit? So what I do is I go and sit in a cave. God, can you imagine me sitting in a cave being quiet and not saying anything ever? No, that would just... a vow of silence. That would just be the end of my life wouldn't it? That'd be... no purpose to me if I couldn't just yarrow on about nothing.

Oh what would I do? What would I do? So yeah, I'm not the greatest Buddhist in the world. I don't even... I don't even know if I class myself as anything anymore. I'm just a... I'm a Jason and that's what I am.

I'm just a Jason and I've got the window open so I'm hearing a bit of background sound outside so hopefully nothing too interesting. Sounds like there might be a train or something in the background. I think, I think, I think I'm gonna have to put a pause on the latest competition.

And start it on New Year's Day for the whole of January. Two reasons. I can't really afford to do a competition every week.

It just kind of dawned on me that this isn't really practical. Secondly, no one... the new competition because the first competition has been won so that's done. The second competition, which was to share... anyone that shared any of my Facebook posts would be entered into the competition to win a disk drive.

You know, you know the drive that you plug into a laptop or whatever. One of those with all of my Let Me Bore You To Sleep recordings on it. And I was just going to tally up and just basically every time someone shared one of my posts over the next week would be entered.

Well it's a few days into it. Was it Christmas Day? Thursday? Friday? And there's been maybe two people have shared. And it's I think because it's Christmas people are just so busy.

You know a lot of people are very busy at Christmas with family and traveling and whatever else or trying to avoid it. And all get caught up, you know, they're just doing other things. They're on holiday or... So for those I suppose I should post this on Facebook as well, in a written form, which I will.

But I will start. It might be a different competition. So I'm gonna wait.

So if you still want to post, I appreciate you posting this and my, you know, re-sharing my posts on Facebook anyway just to sort of help out. Spread the word. And there's going to be a different competition.

It will be for the, the, I don't know what you call it, a disc to disc thing. USB stick, you know, the thing that has all the a file with all of the Let Me Boyd Sleep recordings. That will still be the prize.

And that will be for the whole of January 2020. Starting on New Year's Day. So I know that the two people, probably at least the person that, and you know who you are, and you're, I bet you're smiling right now as I say this.

The person that is already way ahead in sharing my posts on Facebook. Although being, it doesn't mean you're going to win because you share, you can share every single one of them. But someone else that might share three might still be the one that gets picked out.

You know, there's no way of knowing. But obviously the more you've got in there, the more chance of winning. And so I hope you're okay with that.

But this is the same person that won last, the last, the competition before. So, and you know, he's been sharing my posts for a while now. And it's just, it was really weird because as we, I put my stuff into this, it's basically, it was, I made little pieces of paper, save you watching the video because video quality wasn't very good.

It was crackling as I was listening to it and I didn't realize, and it was the, that's the Facebook portal. So I'm not, I'm not crazily happy about that. If I'm honest, I mean, I thought it was, I was hoping to perhaps use it to do some sessions, you know, maybe do some streaming and stuff.

But if it's going to be all crackly and crappy, volume or really bad audio, then I don't want to do it. The picture was okay-ish. Even the picture wasn't great.

I just figured it would be the same level of quality as the phone, doing it on a phone. If it's actually made by Facebook, for Facebook, you know what I mean? If it's specifically for that, in order to, I mean, maybe doing a one-to-one chat, it would be clearer because that's what it was originally made for. And the, they've added the app so that you can do live broadcasts because that's what the customers were asking for.

And the Facebook portal, as far as I'm aware, it wasn't selling as well because that's what a lot of people wanted to be able to do. So if you look online, which I did, I looked at lots of reviews for the Facebook portal and most of the reviews talk about how it doesn't offer that option. So it's a new option that's on there.

So maybe it just needs a bit of tweaking and they'll update it and make it clearer perhaps. And yeah, so I made this little piece of paper with everyone's names in them and then I put them inside my headphone case, shook it, and then unzipped it. And I got Andre to knock out, um, I didn't really know what he said, I thought he might hopefully buy one, but he didn't, he knocked, knocked one out onto the keyboard.

Knocked one out. I don't know, that's, that's tiggled me. Um, everyone's going to be watching the video.

I've got to see that. A ferret knocking one out onto the keyboard. So he knocked one, one of the pieces of paper off onto the keyboard of the laptop and then he knocked another piece off, which was the one he knocked off me was further away from me.

So I picked that up, you know, it was only two pieces. I picked up the one that he knocked off first and it was, you know, how it turned out. And I also showed the runner-up who don't get nothing, but, um, it's just, it's a bit rubbish, isn't it? And the runner-up is Paula and you get nothing.

Nothing. She got a mention, she got, I don't know who it was, I forget. Sorry.

Oh, um, okay, okay. It was so amateurish, the way I did the competition, it was ridiculous. Seriously, I reckon a six-year-old child could have probably put, put it together better than me, could have found a better way to actually present it.

It was just awful, but it's okay, we did it. But I think that's part of the charm, part of the charm, because let's face it, how many competitions or competition winners are chosen by a ferret? I mean, that's, that's a special thing, isn't it? I think it is. And he is the star of the show.

Let's face it, if this was a video and Andre was with me, you'd be focusing on him, not on me, and you wouldn't be focusing on what I was saying, you'd be focusing on him, because he's so darn cute, especially with his big yawns he does. But, um, I love the way he rubs himself against my beard. That's part of the reason why I grow my beard back, because even when I trim it down and get it down to, well, you know, shorter, he, like stubbly kind of length, and he doesn't rub himself against my face as much.

But when I let my beard get bigger, like at the moment, it's, it's now a beard. It's not a big bushy, permy beard. You know, Grizzly Adams.

That's for all you old people out there. Grizzly Adams. Not one of those Grizzly Adams-y beard.

God, he's a beautiful man, wasn't he? Wasn't he a beautiful... It's really weird. I'm totally straight. Absolutely got no interest in men, really, at all.

I say really, at all. God, no. But I can, when I see, I can, some people are just beautiful.

And I think the reason behind it is, he looked very similar to my maths teacher when I was in the first year of high school. And he was the only teacher that was ever nice to me. Well, okay, no, it's not right.

There were two teachers that were nice to me. Him, there was three teachers, but the two RE teachers, Religious Education teachers, both of those were nice to me. But out of all the other classes I did, Mr. Johnson, I think his name was, he was the only nice teacher.

But he was lovely. He had a big beard, big, friendly face. He was, I suppose, quite a big bloke as well.

I don't know, I didn't weigh him. Never tried to lift him up to see what he... He was a man, I don't know. But he was lovely.

He was really friendly. And he actually took time with me to... I'm not sure if he explained anything, but he told me that I felt safe with him. That makes sense.

I didn't feel inferior. I didn't, because mathematics wasn't something that I was... I struggled. I really struggled with it.

I really, really did. And I gave up. I don't know why.

I just struggled. And I really had difficulty with it. But he kind of was gentle with me, and that was nice.

But then he, yeah, he got ill or something and he stopped working. I think he retired, medically retired. So I only had him for about one term.

And then I got moved to the Dunces class because of my behavior after that. And yeah, so I don't think it wasn't actually called... I think it was the Remedial class they called it. I don't know.

But basically, the kids that misbehaved, and the kids that refused to work, and the kids that were classed as thick or Dunces were all put into this class, where basically it was this big room. So I even remember the outlay. So if you go out of the maths room that I was in, turn right, walk past about two classrooms, turn right again, up the stairs, round, and the first classroom on the right, that was the room.

And it was a big room, had toys in it, and we used to just play and just mess around and do very little. And I think that was probably my favorite class. That and Religious Studies or Religious Education, which is weird because, I don't know, I think maybe there was a bit of familiarity because I haven't lived with nuns, Catholic nuns, for a couple of years or whatever.

I suppose I felt a little bit of familiarity with the religious-y stuff. And maybe that's how or why I went back into Buddhism and got really involved in that and was involved with that from the age of about 20, when I started reading Buddhist books and really deeply involved in Christianity when I was at high school. Really got into the Bible, the New Testament, I mean proper.

And not going to church, but just studying it, really studying it, like living my life through it. It was quite weird. I was only, what, 12 or 11 or 12, so I went through a weird period.

But yeah, so other than that, but yeah, that kind of beard, that's what I thought about the beard. What's his name? Smokey Adams? Not Smokey Adams. Rusty, Rusty Stick, not Rusty Stick.

Rusty Adams. Boney, Boney M. Boney, Boney Stick. Dick of a bum.

I don't know, what was his name? Grizzly Adams. Grizzly Adams, yeah. How ironic though.

He's named Grizzly as Adams. And he ended up meeting a grizzly bear. Because coincidences everywhere, isn't there? And I used to love that show when I was, you know, young.

Because it was on, I think early 80s. I don't know, but it might have been earlier than that. But I think it was early 80s, maybe late 70s.

And I think it was on around the same kind of time as the Bionic Man and possibly Little House on the Prairie. But that might have been earlier. The Waltons? Again, that might have been earlier.

I don't know. It's hard to tell because we used to have the shows on in England. But they might have, some of the shows had already been in America.

And we got them a few years later. And one of the things, oh, this is going to make you giggle like a, like a, I don't know, something that's being tickled. It's gonna, it doesn't happen so much now, but it did.

It really did. Before the internet, it's literally, I don't know why, I think it's it's almost like we're, we've synced with America now. We're kind of in tune with each other a bit more.

But 20 odd years ago, well, it's not even that long ago, but in the past, we used to get the sitcoms from America, the TV shows from America, we used to get their, or your, if you're listening in America, your Christmas editions of the TV shows in the summer. We'd be so far behind your releases. So you'd release a TV show, and we wouldn't get it for six months or a year or something.

But now, it seems that when TV shows released, it's kind of released here the same day, or maybe the next day after it's been released in America. So we're more kind of jogging along each other, but side by side, rather than trying to hang on to your tail. If you had a tail.

I wonder if humans really did used to have tails. This whole idea, the idea that we've got a tailbone, because we used to have tails. I don't know if I believe that.

Yeah, it's one of those things, isn't it? I was just thinking, you know, the idea of being of conspiracies is that kind of that, that want, that need to not be gullible, isn't it? So to not just believe anything and to, you know, to not be gullible. I think that's at the root of the need for people to embrace conspiracy theories, because they don't want to be known as being gullible. It isn't ironic how conspiracy theorists are the most gullible people.

That's funny, kind of humorous. They believe, they don't want to believe stuff that seems almost likely to be true. They want to believe something that is almost impossible to be true.

Even though it might be true. You have to sensationalize everything. It's got to be some big dramatic thing.

That's it. That's all I want to say on that one. I just found it interesting that the people that don't want to be gullible are the most gullible.

I imagine having a conversation with someone and everything's conspiracy. Oh, oh, oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Come on. Let's talk some more.

Well, I enjoyed that conversation so much. So right. The moon landings weren't real.

Okay. Yeah. Great.

Well, that, that six hour conversation about how it was all set up and it was too perfect. And how come, you know, they put a man on the moon in 1969, but, you know, I didn't get a calculator that worked until 1981. Okay.

We'll just stick you in the diary for our next conversation. What would you like to talk about? What, Kennedy? Space shuttles? What else? It's limitless, isn't it? What, the Vatican? Let's talk about that. I've spoken to people in the past.

They said, well, you know, that we could use, the government discovered how to use water to power cars 50 years ago. But they wanted to, wanted to sell petrol and gas. They want to keep everyone reliant on gas and petrol.

All you have to do is put water in it. All you need is a watering can. It might be true.

I don't care. I just find it funny that people get angry about stuff like that. People say in this country, it's like a dictatorship now.

It's people who say something like that about England, like a dictatorship. If it was a dictatorship, I would not be able to do this. That's the end of that story.

That's the end. That's just, you know, really? Yeah, England. Oh, that Boris Johnson's such a dictator.

God, always telling us what to do. I'd probably be working in some kind of work camp if I was living under a dictatorship. To be fair, I suppose in some places I'd probably be exterminated, wouldn't I? If I was mentally ill, not contributing to society, 50 years old nearly.

Yeah, probably. Yeah, there's probably some place, part of the world where I'd just be snuffed out. Just got rid of.

He's not contributing, is he? He's not really. Although, I do talk to my psychiatrist, my psychologist about this. And I do, I am contributing, aren't I? I'm just not contributing to my local society.

I'm contributing to the world society in a kind of a way, by mocking. Mocking people's views and opinions and belief systems. No, I'm not.

I'm not mocking anything. I'm just in a silly mood. I'm in a silly mood.

It happens sometimes. So, what I thought I'd do is, over the next few days, today being, I don't know what day is. I honestly don't.

I think it's Friday. I think. And, did I nearly say a naughty swear word there, didn't I? I didn't say it though.

I don't think so. Friday. I think it's Saturday now.

I don't know. It's one of them. So basically, between now and New Year's Day, or New Year's Eve, I'm gonna do a review of my year.

So, I'll do a review of 2019. Now, the main thing is, I've got to try and think of something that's happened during 2019, where I was involved in that particular activity. And, I can't think of anything off the top of my toes.

I think, what did I do? Let's just start off. Yeah, I'll do like a rough outline. This would be like the rough outline of the sketch that will end up being a beautiful portrait.

Of a little pony, holding a lumberella. We have a cow here, tap its bum. So, I'm gonna, what did January hold? What did, there was no snow.

There was no snow. And, January. What happened to January, anybody? I want to say January.

What happened? I'm not going to talk about news stories, because I can't remember anything particular. I'm sure there's always stuff happening, isn't there? But, I want to focus on me, because that's more interesting to me. January, I don't recall doing anything at all.

I suppose I was hmm. Oh, actually, I saw the New Year in with Edini, a hypnotist, a YouTube hypnotist and magician. I did an interview with him.

And, I did it live on Facebook or YouTube. I don't remember. Facebook, I think.

So, that was my first thing of the year. And, I was making these Let Me Boy To Sleep recordings. I don't know how many I'd done by then.

Because, I just don't. I don't know how many I've done. Don't know how many I've done already, this year.

I don't even know what number this is. But, not far off the 300 mark now. So, I must have had over a hundred done.

Maybe 140. Maybe, I don't know. I'm not sure.

And, the new, because I just, the November before, the November 21st, I think it was, I'd opened a new podcast with Spreaker. And, I added all my stuff to the different podcasts. And, which is part of, just like old recordings plus the newer ones that I've added.

So, I'd seen it grow a little bit from December, grow a little bit more January. And, each month it's grown. And, the occasional month it goes down a little bit, but it grows.

But, if you look at now, compared to the rest of the year. And, this month, December, I've had 59, yeah, just under 60,000 downloads in this month, December. And, compared, yeah.

And, there's still a few more days left. So, I'll have 65, 62, 4, 6, yeah, probably 60, 65, 66,000. So, that would be the top month of the whole year, as far as downloads for the, per month.

So, that would be interesting to see how that goes next year. Because, if it grows the way it's grown. And, I don't know, it'd just be really cool to see how it does.

To see if I'm on, at the very least, I should be on 100,000 or 120,000 by a month by the end of next year. And, that's kind of the least I'd expect, really. I'd expect it to go up by about 10,000 a month.

So, that's, but that's 120,000 added on to the 60,000. So, that'd be 180,000. So, even if it only goes up by 5,000 a month, which is only a few hundred a day, isn't it? So, yeah, it'd be, I mean, I'm interested.

This is boring to hear about it, but I know, I'm actually interested to see how it goes. And also, my plan is to stick with what I'm doing now. So, stick with the podcast and never get rid of it.

Might need a little bit help in the future to keep it going financially. But at the moment, it's okay. Got it going.

It's going to still keep going. But, you know, you never know what's going to happen around the corner. And my website as well, now that I've got video reviews on there, and if you would like to leave a video review, if you're still awake, if you haven't already put one on there, if you already put one on there, and only one per person, possibly, because they can get a little bit, let's do what you want, really, because I appreciate any words you've got to say.

But what you could do, if you wanted to leave a review, you could leave a video review of a particular recording on that page. But if you haven't left a video review of my service, then go to the review page on my website, if you want to do that, if you'd like to do that. But the more video reviews, the less likely I am to ever get rid of that website, which means I'll just be keeping it forever.

Because I don't want to lose, I don't want to lose those video reviews. It's actually means a lot to me, as well as the written reviews as well. So yeah, so I've got the website, I've got the podcasts, I'm going to keep them the whole of next year.

I've also just invested in another podcast, and the reason for this is because it transcribes the podcast episodes for me. It's part of its service, which saves me thousands and thousands of hours of work. So it's costing me £16 a month for that podcast hosting.

So it's podcasts are hosted, also shared online. It's called Jason Nguyen's Hypnosis Recordings. That's the podcast.

So that will be available on various podcast places as well. So I will keep that going, because over the next year, and I can start to get together the recordings or the transcripts and see if I can get something out of them in the form of a book, or at least the outline of a book or some content that I can add to. Also, I can give an outline of the recording as well.

So I can say, well, in this recording, I talked about blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, like that, you know, I might not actually go wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, but give a little bit of insight into some of the content. So that, because in the past, I've actually had people contact me and say, I really enjoyed that recording you did about the, the weird suitcase made of poo, or I don't know, you know, can you tell me which recording that was? And I've got no idea, because I don't take any notice of what I've said. I generally don't know what I've talked about, even during this recording.

I just, just talk, and then it's done. I don't give it any thought. I don't plan it.

I don't, you know, I just, I don't remember what I've said, because it's not important. It's just me being boring. And it's different levels of boredom as well.

I mean, sometimes I will get extra boring. You have to watch out for those ones, because sometimes I really, I think the, some of the descriptions of a house that I've lived in, now that's extra boring. It's really boring.

So the possibilities are endless. I think what I might do, and I thought about doing it last year in the summer, and I think I'm going to do it this year. And the reason why I didn't do it is because there's people about, but I've really, I've kind of figured out how I can do it.

So I'm going to walk through the field with Andre, through the countryside, and I'm going to tell you what I see. Just say, oh, just another, another dog poo. There's a ditch on the left.

There's a bit of grass. And just, you know, take you through the whole journey for an hour or something. And then whenever a dog walker or someone sort of walks by, I'll just stop talking for the time that they're there.

And then I'll, once they're gone, I'll start talking again. So I'll have to edit it when I get home and cut out those bits where there's just like nothing going on. But yeah, I think it might be, well, sometimes people do stop and chat.

So of course I'll edit that out as well, because I'm not going to leave that into a recording. That's part of the reason I didn't do it in the past, because I thought, well, if they think I'm recording them while they're talking to me, I should let them know that I'm recording. But then they'll think I'm weird, because why am I walking down the street recording? But there's a reason for it, you know? It's quite a difficult thing to explain.

Someone says, what do you do? I bore people. I make boring podcasts. Or I do sleep podcasts.

Or what I wanted to do is say, I do, I make pain relief recordings and I've got millions of people listening. But that never happened. Although I did, I had a few people used to enjoy my pain stuff.

But the sleep stuff, that's the, yeah, that's the gift. The gift of being boring. And it is interesting that even on Facebook, people that know what I do, still post that I can't sleep and I'm not doing, you know, they don't even think about listening to me, some of them.

Which is a shame, because these recordings really are boring. There's no doubt about that. It's really boring.

And the more you listen, the more you get used to that feeling of just almost like melting, you know? Your body just melting into the bed. Andre is making, all that Andre is doing is just being, Andre is just being Andre. Well, Daddy's talking now, so I've got to run around and make noise.

Look at me, Daddy. Look, I'm going to run around now. I'm going to scratch at the carpet.

I'm going to have something to eat. No, there's no food in there. Why is there no food in my bowl? So I cut his fingernails.

No, he's just staring at me. Now he's going to bed. He does this thing.

If he goes to eat and there's nothing in the bowl, he'll stare at me. And if staring at me doesn't do anything, he starts moving the bowl with his nose. He pushes the bowl over, makes it clatter, and stares at me.

Sometimes he'll lay down next to the bowl and just look at me cutely. But if he doesn't get his own way, he starts to bang the bowl. Sometimes he'll knock the bowls on top of the other bowl, which he's got his dry food in.

It's just almost to say, I'm not touching the dry food. I want the wet food. I want my cat food.

Well, he doesn't know it's cat food, but you know, he thinks it's his food. And he seems to like it. He likes the gravy.

He's a big fan of the gravy. Even with the other cheap stuff I got, he liked the gravy, but he wouldn't eat the actual food. He just licked the gravy up.

So he'd lick the bowl out. And I don't know what he's doing now. So January, what happened January? I can't remember anything.

What happened February? Nothing. Something must have happened in March. No, nothing happened in March.

What about April? Oh, something did happen in January. I went and visited my niece in hospital in January. That was at the beginning of January.

And then I got gastroenteritis. So yeah, that was a week of fun. February, I don't remember much really happening.

March. Nope. April.

Nope. I don't remember anything. May.

Nope. June. I think.

No, no. April, June, July. No, I don't think anything happened in July.

August. That was my birthday. Andre is biting through the thing, trying to get to me through the bottom of the chair.

So I had my birthday in August. So I turned 49. So that was a lovely little adventure.

And Andre is biting my fingers through the, I put my finger, he's trying to get to me. Because now the chair is like half, this chair is in, it's kind of in pieces. It's falling apart.

And he's now taken full advantage of that. And he's tearing it apart now. Literally as we speak.

He's pulling the stuffing out of the pillow, went out of the padding of the chair. September. Can you hear him? I've not known him to do this.

It's the first time he's done this. Sort of when I've been sitting in it anyway. Makes you wonder what he gets up to when I'm not here.

Because sometimes I watch him and he just does nothing. And then I go out or go to bed or whatever. And I come back in and there's stuff all moved around.

There's balls, it's like play balls all around the place. Why is he doing this right now while I'm talking? I'm glad I cut his fingernails though, because when his fingernails are long, they can get caught. All right, he's just decided he wants to come and cuddle with me.

Can you believe it? He's actually, he's gone to sleep. He's lying on my tummy. I'm holding his head with my left hand.

Just not holding it, just, you know, he's not supporting it. I'm just holding the rest of his body with my right hand. And his eyes are practically closed.

He's just laying there, falling asleep. Yeah, well 30 seconds ago he was trying to rip the chair apart. Perhaps he was just after my attention.

Now he's got it, he's happy. He's just laying there. What is it? What are you up to Andre? Hey, what's going on in your mind? Are you just happy that you've got a boring daddy? And when I talk you just fall asleep.

It's times like this that I really love having him, when he's gentle and all loving, you know? Just laying on me, not wiggling about, not trying to be naughty. Good boy, aren't you? Yeah, good boy. So we've got August, September.

Can't remember anything happening in September. October. November, December.

That's strange, I can't really think of anything that happened this year at all. There has been stuff but I don't want to, you know, I want to sort of talk about some light-hearted things. No, I can't think of anything.

Mind you, I've done maybe perhaps 160, 200, I don't know, recordings talking about what I've been up to. That's like an hour each, so I probably spent about 160 hours maybe, or more, talking about what I've been up to this year. And I can't think of even one thing off the top of my head.

Yeah, that's strange. I know, weird. Andre's waking up now.

How are you doing, baby? Are you all right? Are you giving daddy kisses? Oh, you're going to leave now, are you? Bye-bye, you want to say goodbye to everyone? All right, I'm going to go. Remember to be kind to yourself, be gentle to yourself, because you deserve to be happy, and I'll still see you tomorrow. I'll speak to you tomorrow.

Take care. Lots of love. Bye.