#261 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (25th November 2019)

Hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com which is my website jasonnewland.com where all my recordings are and this is let me bore you to sleep. Sorry I'm laughing at Andre. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes and have a quick drink.

A couple of quick quick uh announcements. Thank you for Davies and for your PayPal gift. Thank you very much.

Davies is from Canada and thank you. I'll also a message for Melanie uh just awaiting the the details of that thing. Andre's just sneezed and uh basically I'm in a bit of a weird mood now because I had something to eat.

I just had a pizza actually. There's still three pizzas left. Three pizzas, pieces of the pizzas left and uh it's not really relevant but I decided I was gonna I wanted to actually go to sleep but I kind of thought I know what I'll do.

I'll make a recording which is a better use of my time especially as it's still fairly early. It's only 22 minutes past 10 and there's a couple of tv programs I want to watch but I won't be able to watch until probably for a few hours um on catch-up which is The Walking Dead and Watchmen and hopefully Silicon Valley but I'm not sure when that's the first broadcast.

Those are the three of my programs that I like to uh watch on catch-up and in fact apart apart from Watchmen I've been watching the other two programs for absolute years and years and years ever since they started pretty much uh although with The Walking Dead is is a really interesting story really interesting and I I um what did I do I was clicking the phone sorry I tried so I didn't watch the first episode of The Walking Dead when it was first on and I tried to watch it on catch-up and I got bored

or I don't know if it was bored but I just thought uh I don't know if I could be bothered with this so I only ever got as far as him if you ever seen it you'll know but even if you haven't seen it this isn't spoiling anything um Rick who's the star of the show from beginning he's the man you see on the front of the cover with the with the hat cowboy hat well it's not it's a police hat isn't it but anyway he wakes up in a hospital I only see up to

the point where he walks outside and he sees a little girl and that's it and she's standing by a come on then Andre wanted to climb up and uh basically he's a bit excited but yeah that's as far as I got on on the first pilot episode of The Walking Dead and I I tried to watch it about four or five times and I didn't bother and then eventually I pushed through and it turned out to be one of my favorite tv shows I just didn't like the intro for some reason I don't know why

but let me oh another thing The Sopranos I've got a story I want to tell you but I'll quickly tell you The Sopranos when that first came on telly and they showed it on channel four I think in 2000 I genuinely could not be asked to watch it did not want to watch it the idea of a bunch of mobsters just didn't interest me at all at all and then and there was a a double episode is the first pilot was like two two hour episode or something I just couldn't be bothered but then I

don't know when it was that I finally really kind of got into it it might have been 2001 it might have been 2003 I'm not sure but I fell in love with it and I just you know couldn't get enough but here's a story here's me and Andre he's now lying in my arms aren't you having cuddles and he's all thrown off because of a bit of a rearrangement you don't know what to think do you it's an it's a rearrangement of furniture in here and he doesn't like that because it's different and he doesn't

understand like things aren't where they should be he's uh I think there's a name for that he's uh he's also a bit claustrophobic which is weird for a ferret what are you doing doesn't like he wants to fight but I can't reach him with my arm but he's not letting me get close enough to touch his to touch him with my hand so he wants me to get out of the chair and chase him but I'm not gonna sorry Andre so here's what happened I was about to make the recording this recording I'm doing now

it wouldn't have been this recording it would have been it'd been totally different and I so I was on my big black squeaky chair I was just sitting there and I thought first of all I was gonna lean back I was gonna lay back not lay back but you know the headrest thing go backwards and listen to an audio book but then I couldn't be bothered to do that I kind of I kind of wanted to go to sleep but I'd just eaten and I don't generally lay down on my bed if I've just eaten

now maybe if it's like a really light snack tiny little amount of bits maybe but not like like food I've eaten nearly a whole pizza and although it's not big um that's it's enough it was enough I think I'm gonna have a yogurt when I've done this I treat myself to your yogurt okay so I'm sitting there on the chair and as you know it's very squeaky there may be a picture of it somewhere on Facebook when I first bought it I don't know I've had it for four over four years and it's now it's

on its last legs basically it's fallen apart well my phone well I went out I got up to go to the toilet by that I mean to go into the toilet I didn't just stand up and do away on the carpet those days are long gone so I went back and as I got up my phone Andre if there's any way of Andre getting into trouble he will he just has to he has to find a way anyway I'm just watching him because he's I want to make sure oh he just he just got on

onto my abdominal uh sit up board but once he gets on it because it's it slopes down so he just slides off it which is quite funny to watch he always lands on his feet yeah and now is Andre behave okay I'll get back to it so my phone fell off the armrest of my chair inward not on the floor but inward so I just I thought I left it I thought okay it's just going to be on the chair when I get back when I got back it wasn't anywhere to be seen so it

must have slid down the side of the chair which it has done before I've I've had stuff fall down there and you know and a couple of times the phone's done it normally I manage to get the phone catch it other times the ones that I had to sort of had to shake the chair and got it out that way well this time nothing I could do nothing I did was working couldn't find it couldn't see where it was at all and uh I called on my friend for help and not my invisible friend but

you know a real person and he he came up and we couldn't figure out what to do so we ended up taking the phone taking it apart a little bit it's a two-man job it's quite a big chair and and the only way we could get to the phone was by ripping out the insides of the chair you just couldn't get to the couldn't get to it because it was tucked down right tightly so it's just practically impossible to get to so now the chair's ruined it was ruined already it was already broken but it's

now for the for the waste heap junk heap uh fly tipping no not fly tipping um you know some ways it's got to be sort of disposed of now which is a bit of a shame because I've had that chair for ages and now it's it's gone and it's too dangerous because of Andre he goes under it and in fact it's on its side in the corner of the room and Andre thinks this is his new toy he can now climb inside of the part that he always wanted to climb into but he couldn't because

it was covered now it's not covered anymore he can get through and he's loving it he's there now doing it he's climbing through the springs so I almost feel like I should just leave it there for him to play with but it's a bit of an eyesore if I wanted to have an eyesore in the corner I'd put a big mirror up you know I don't want to be looking at something that's a bit I don't know if you can hear him he's scratching away so yeah that's what's happened to the chair so luckily I've

got um I've got a spare chair it's not it's not mine it's my friend's he's lent it to me it's a fold-up one but it's uh it's kind of like a deck chair but I would say kind of like a garden chair not a deck chair but something that you can sit in the garden or in a conservatory or something like that and it's it's okay you know but I can't I can't put my head back so I could get a pillow or something and do that but I'm now kind of yeah Andre he's so

he's going to be at that all night you know that I should probably take a little video of him before I shut it and chuck it out so he's I could leave the chair bit because the the seat bits there so I could leave that for him to sit in that could be his little bed he might like that you I might do that so the seat that I used to sit in because it comes off it came out of the well yeah no it's not the seat is it no it's not a seat it's

the the backrest but that's as good as pretty much the same as the seat really so the backrest came out so ultimately I need to get a new chair now never mind he's loving it absolutely loving it I can't believe it's like he's exploring this new thing I just hope he doesn't get his nails caught because sometimes he does that he gets his nails caught and he just can't and because he's scratching stuff that he shouldn't really be scratching because in the wild they'd be scratching the dirt and the mud which would shorten their nails

naturally but they wouldn't be scratching at chairs you know that wouldn't be a kind of a natural field phenomenon in the wild I don't imagine also I want to thank the a few people that have sent that have left testimonials the last week or so well the last you know recently it's really lovely to get a testimonial on my website and to hear the positive reviews and the positive words so I appreciate everyone that does that thank you I don't reply well it doesn't really give me the option to reply on the testimonials because they're

just you post them and I either accept them or discard them you know I've had a couple of that to discard but that was from a friend my friend Sebastian who sent a few weird messages and yeah so that's quite funny but I didn't put them public but generally I haven't had any horrible comments which is nice I always find it weird that people would want to do would put the energy into that if they did but it's up to them isn't it I suppose I'm never never going to allow it on the website anyway

because what is he doing oh now he's on the headrest and he's trying to get inside the headrest and I don't know if he's going to be able to get out again oh man no yeah he should be all right I hope well if he isn't he's stuck in here I suppose I'll just rip the whole thing open if I have to that's the end oh now he's getting out are you okay Andre obviously I can't see where he is or what he's doing I know where he is as far as the piece of furniture

is inside but I don't know what's inside that furniture whether there's room for him to maneuver or which wouldn't bother him actually so he's gone in one hole it's almost like he's looking for another way out one hole isn't enough for him so what so he's not wanting to come out of the hole he went into so I don't think oh he's now coming out the way he came in yeah he's out and he's now going to climb up on the abdominal board again and he's now about to slip off again oh no he hasn't

yet he's now on the handlebars of the abdominal board oh he's getting his hang around it his hang is getting the hang of it wow he maneuvered on and off there really easily he's starting to learn that's the thing about him is if he finds a way somewhere he one trial learning for him sometimes he doesn't realize he can do stuff until he tries and then once he's tried that's it for example I had a chair there was not the back of the chair wasn't too far away from the bookcase and he never attempted to

jump from the chair to the bookcase until once and I saw him do it and he landed and he could do it easily and I took him off and from that point on constantly doing it pushing the books off and I had a video of him doing it once and he literally he pushed so much stuff off of the the shelves like the whole lot it was ridiculous ridiculous and he was up at my head height up there on the shelves knocking stuff off as much as he could but once he'd learned to do it

once he knew he could do it it was easy he didn't have any issues he just did it kept doing it over and over again you can't always judge distance so from the chair to the table I know just the distance away from where he'd attempt it even though he could perhaps make it possibly wouldn't probably end up getting his his hands on there and then falling on the floor by his hands I don't mean chucking his hands on with a bit of rope I mean you know touching it with his hands and I kind

of know the distance because I've watched him attempt and I've also watched him try and figure out the distance and there's a certain space that he won't do I don't know what it is in his head I don't know how he works it out but it's quite clever oh dear I miss my chair oh this chair just isn't very comfortable at all really it's okay but it's not um it's the kind of chair you'd sit in if you were talking to somebody definitely not gonna I'm not gonna fall asleep in it in fact it's not

even I don't think it's sturdy enough really to take me falling asleep oh my chair a big black squeaky chair although this is also black but it's littler um but it can squeak a little bit but much less so so I can I can move I can move my legs now Andre's Andre's in full throttle at the moment isn't he wonder why he just is I really get a chance to see him in action just completely excited and that's how he is it's almost like he's got a new a new set of toys so now

I know what to give him for Christmas just some junk an old junky chair when it's just now he's got a ball that rattles he's actually got a whole box full of toys that have got a lid on that I don't even put on the floor so if I did it'd be all over them when there was this little um these little tennis balls that I bought for him and he ignored them like he ignores pretty much anything I ever buy him occasionally I'll grab it off me and run off with it sometimes he'll just

ignore it you know it depends you know just what what mood he's in but but these tennis balls he just did not was not interested at all and I found them I found them a few months ago I found found one of them and it was completely frayed but really frayed like a dog's like a dog had been at it and it's a very small tennis ball wasn't like a proper one small one and I thought how did it get like that because he doesn't even touch it and I'm sitting at my desk on the

laptop and I notice Andre is on his back and this little green thing in his hands well actually he's in his mouth and his hands and it's a tennis ball and he's biting it and just shaking it around and it was so cute to watch which just shows that he must get he must do so much stuff when I'm not around maybe when I'm asleep comes in and plays with his toys because I've never seen him play with that ball before ever I found the other one and that was also frayed and all just ripped

to bits not ripped to bits but you know definitely bitten he wants his dinner and I just it's on the shelf because I hid it from him because I had to because I had a dog up here and the dog would have eaten everything it's all right Andre in half an hour's time I'll put the food down for you half an hour are you messing with me so he's got this box and it's got legos all on the outside like pictures of lego and it's a storage it's not a box it's like plastic and cardboard

it's a storage box but quite a nice one you know and like with fabric it almost looks a little bit like a washing bag you know when you go to laundrette that kind of material like the big the ones that last forever you know I know nothing lasts forever but except these recordings and my love for you so oh what is he doing now what are you doing now there's bits of eggshell all over the place as well because I gave him an egg and he loves eggs like raw eggs and I don't give them

to him every day but that was something that he would eat in the wild and I give it to him and I haven't given him an egg for ages I gave him one yesterday and I just and he can smell it it's quite weird he loves the smell of an egg it's like he can smell inside the egg through the egg so I chucked the egg on the floor for him but I rolled it on the floor and in the past what he'd normally do is he'd eventually break the egg and he'd break the shell

himself he'd break it against the skirting board or the door or you know he'd do what he needed to do well this time he gave up he's just obviously in a lazy mood but didn't know where the egg was so first of all I thought well I don't now have an argument with a little ball that rattles I need to get his food do you want some food Andre?

I've just gone and got him his food and there you go he's eating it now I think if he's hungry I don't want him to be hungry he hasn't got there's no reason for him to be hungry ever he's always got his food so if there's no uh if he's eating his wet food then he's always got dry food that he can eat always 24 hours a day and he's not like uh like some animals will just eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and just they'll keep eating he doesn't he just eats

until he's full up and then he'll leave he'll come back for more later so it didn't used to be like that um when he was first little he used to because he was bullied by his brother or his brothers and sisters or I don't know whatever when he was little when he's a baby they used to push him out out of the circle and they'd get the food first and then when he's with his brother when he first moved here I had him and his brother and his brother was getting to the food before him

as well so as soon as I had him up here on his own he was scoffing the food down and he was also hiding bits of the food in parts of the flap which is kind of a standard thing for ferrets to do anyway but he really was he didn't want me anywhere near him when he was eating he finally got to eat you know without any kind of interruption so he's happy after that I wonder how much he remembers I don't need to know how much he remembers but I just do wonder I wonder

how much he remembers of his life times he's been out times that we played it's probably all fits in kind of together with into one memory probably it's all kind of very similar I guess I've never taken him on holiday he's never been to a wedding never even been to the beach or has he has he no he hasn't I have this memory of taking him to the beach but I don't think I did perhaps I should do next year not in the summer because the sun is a bit too hot for him but maybe

sort of February time and it's still cool enough but it's still kind of a relatively nice day I might take him to the beach and let him play in the sea if he wants to he probably won't want to but who knows trying to guess what he wants is it's an impossibility really because he really he doesn't like water at all but who knows what he's going to do he might jump in the sea because he did it once he's never liked the water ever and then I was in the park with him and we

was at the it's kind of a duck pond but like a boat in pond thing and we were at the side of it and he just jumped in he didn't he didn't slip he didn't fall he jumped into the water he like dived in so maybe he was hot and he wanted to cool off and he just swam along for a little bit I had it had the the lead on and everything but he chose to do it unless he looked in and he saw the reflection and he thought it was another ferret I'll have

that ferret I'll have you who knows who knows um excuse me I had a really funny joke earlier it was Steve um Steve Martin I can't remember what it was I can't remember the joke now it was from an album from 1981 um I think it was called the Martin Brothers or something but it's uh he did I think three comedy albums but two were in the 70s I think um let's get small I think the other one might have been wild and crazy guy I'm not 100 sure and that was before he was a

film star he was a huge huge comedian in America like absolutely massive in the late 70s which is well I suppose maybe early 80s as well I don't know but he was massive he was selling out arenas and uh there was this joke I can't remember what it was but it was funny it's very funny it was I don't remember I don't remember but it's it's I was listening to it this morning or this afternoon or last night I don't remember oh so what was I gonna say oh it's I'd uh I've had quite a

few well excuse me that's uh old Steve Martin see I I didn't know about Steve Martin being a comedian until 1989 quite specific isn't it 1989 I started buying videotapes of stand-up comedians and I bought everything that I could get Steve Wright, Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, who others was there Rodney Dangerfield and Emo Phillips who else was there I also had things from Chubby Brown and Robin Williams I had all of these ones at that time and Lenny Henry probably French and Saunders live live Billy Connolly uh live Lenny Bruce I think I

had live one of him live recordings of I had Eric Morecambe and Ernie Wise I had live recording possibly Les Dawson what else was there I had quite a nice little collection um I favoured favoured it's a weird word isn't it favoured I liked I liked the American stuff I think I liked the stuff that was new to me so Les Dawson wasn't new to me because I grew up watching him on telly I loved him but it wasn't new you know it was Billy Connolly wasn't Billy Connolly was a little bit new because he

was quite adult comedy so I didn't really I hadn't really seen much of his comedy on telly and I've definitely never seen the likes of Richard Pryor uh before until yeah till 1989 and what other ones see Rodney Dangerfield I knew about him because he'd been in movies so I knew him as being a comedy actor didn't know him as being a comedian because a lot of the American comedians weren't on television in fact a lot of the English comedians weren't on television either you know there was uh or at least not the programs that

I watched when I was a kid and we had a lot of a lot of the comedians were aimed at like family audiences although they could also be adult as well you know but I never really got to see the adult comedy so I got we got people like and Les Dennis Bobby Davro Russ Abbott um what's his name probably the most famous out of all of them really who passed away recently um it'll come to me but other ones uh Keith Harris who had the puppets uh Orville and Cuddles and there's it's terrible I

can't remember this man's name but he was Freddy Starr, Freddy Starr that's it so he was I say the most famous because I probably I think I'd be right in saying that out of all the family entertainers like comedians he's probably his name would be the most well known out of all the comedians from like the early 80s kind of time that were on telly but he also did adult humor as well sort of on stage and stuff which I didn't know at the time but I said oh my favorite of all my favorite of

all was uh Kenny Everett see Kenny Everett he wasn't a stand-up comedian at least I don't think he was it was a radio dj but very funny really funny and he got his own tv show I think it was called the Kenny Everett television show I think and um it was well I found it hilarious and I loved it loved him and it was I became a fan all over again in the early 90s when he was he had a radio show on I think it was radio two I think and he had these jingles

that was just funny funny jingles he clearly made himself because his voice was on them and uh he was great really funny and in the job I had at the time it needed a little bit of livening up you know I think I was putting stickers on bits of meat all day and it needed to have something in the background that was amusing was nice and so yeah so I think Kenny Everett out of all the I'd say out of the funny they're all funny um but out of the ones I like most when I

was a kid like young I'm talking like 10 10 years old-ish um would be Kenny Everett and yeah probably um what's his name Harris we've called Orville and Cuddles Keith Harris um but that's because I was well it's not because but I did see Keith Harris and Orville and Cuddles live because I was on a tv show when they were on so that was pretty cool but and Orville was huge had a had a huge hit in the charts I wish I could fly I would sing it to you now but for those that are

kind of nodded off to sleep it would probably wouldn't be fair and for those that aren't asleep probably wouldn't be fair those that aren't listening probably wouldn't be fair and just in case my neighbor can hear me it wouldn't wouldn't be fair so yeah I won't Andre it wouldn't be actually if it were my Andre I might give it a go I'm gonna blame him for the chair being ruined I don't know just I need to blame a human I need to blame somebody so yeah I been making some changes to my website and I'll

tell you what it is but I haven't kind of really launched this thing yet it's it's in it's a work in progress progress and it won't be completed till probably the end of the year because it's quite time consuming putting it all together but I have a new website and it's called jason newland.

store s-t-o-r-e as in store so jason newland. store it's I've already got a hundred and hundred and I don't know how many recordings on there already uploaded and everything so at the moment what it's going to be is I've been making changes to my website I started with these let me bore you to sleep recordings and from I think the first hundred and 130 well I've got over 200 on the jason newland.

store but um so far I've just got over just over a hundred of the first hundred let me bore you to sleep recordings and that you can download for one pound or you can just stream it for free you know like or like normal so it gives you an option to help out the free service by downloading the recording so eventually all every single one of my recordings will have that option so it's just an option and you can listen to the recording online you can stream it or if you want to you can you

can download it and have it as your own personal recording the exact duplicate of what I've recorded you know directly and so it gives you an option to help and for a pound it's you know it's not a lot I don't even get that whole pound anyway because um paypal take off a percentage and then there's a percentage to be put into my bank so I don't get I think about 75% of that something like that I might I might be wrong but it's it's there is a charge to me for every bit of money

that comes in but that all goes to help the cost and you know that's what I put it on there for so I'm going to have every single recording I do eventually everything that I have done and everything that I will do will be available to download for one pound each recording if you want to or you can just stream it on the website in the future in the future it may come a time when some of the older recordings will only be available to download but that's not the case at the moment at the

moment I'm going to keep everything as it is you know everything's going to be uploaded and you'll be able to stream it like you can anyway and you can still stream it on Spotify or Stitcher or iTunes exactly how you did before but you have the option if you want to help out to download it onto your own phone onto your laptop whatever and you can just have it as your own recording you know the special jason recording and so that's that's the next step in the evolution of me and and at the same time

it's actually put the cost up at the service it's got for me it's costed that's an extra 30 30 pound or whatever a month to have that to have that service of offering the for them to be downloaded so I have to work out I'm going to put on my website I'm just so because I like to be transparent with this stuff I like to try and just sort of let you know and it's just uh I mean that doesn't include the amount I paid out for other things like software hardware and even the garden

shed and that costs me 250 to buy plus just over 100 to get put up and that's going to be the you know the my studio eventually where I can get it soundproofed and do all the things that need to be done to it but the then all the soundproofing I've bought this year that's on my walls in my living room that cost I probably spent about 150 200 pound on that this year but I quite like the look of it actually I was hoping really was hoping that I'd be able to make recordings in

this room in the living room this is before I got the shed I put I dangled I dingled and dangled about getting a shed for well over a year well over a year and I thought no but then I thought yeah I'd do it anyway so I was hoping to get this room soundproofed so that I could just make recordings and it'll be quiet and to be fair even with the window open as it is at the moment it's fairly quiet especially now that Andre is not running around trying to do whatever he was trying

to do mark his territory I think he was trying to let everyone let me know that the chair bits are his now which is a little weird so yeah I think I'll do that tonight I'll work out not all the other little bits I've done yeah not all the other things like the shed or anything but just uh updated running costs from now oh yeah I don't know if I mentioned it I purchased the domains for probably about 10 to 12 and about 10 websites something like that including letmeboythisleep.com and stuff like that and then

I decided that I just couldn't afford to do it all because it was just it was too expensive to run all those websites and the monthly cost and the yearly cost because each domain costs 50 pound or 55 pound to re-register every year so that's over 500 pound for those domains each year which is quite a lot to just pay out all in one go so I got rid of them and then I then I thought maybe I'll change my mind maybe I can have them back and I

went and basically they'd deleted them even though I bought them for the year they'd released them so that I know it was no longer the owner and for me to re-register for myself would cost 90 pounds each so it's pretty much a thousand pounds to re-register those 12 domain names it's like what what on earth so yeah so they're gone but I do have the jasonnewland.com that I've had for I don't know 12 years 13 14 years and the jasonnewland.

store which is new I've had it for a few months but it's it is up and running it's available but I'm not promoting it you know I'm just in the middle of building it and it's going to take quite a while to do so because it's very it's just time consuming it's it's which I'm okay with you know it doesn't have to be done quickly it's not really a hurry I just like to get it done I want to get the let me boy to sleep recordings done to the point where every new recording I can put the banner on the page which offers you the opportunity to download it and it will take you to the jasonnewland.

store page where you can just download it and what you can do is you can sign in and become a member of the jasonnewland.

store so every time you buy a new session you can just log in so you haven't got to put your details in again every time and it just makes it a little bit easier but that's kind of the evolution of this leading towards I suppose more of a business model in the future because I'm going to need to earn a living at some point you know I've still got how many years have I got 20 or 19 years until I can retire I think I can retire at 68 it might be 69 I think it's

68 but by the time we get to 68 it'll probably be 70 because realistically in 10 years time the retirement age might have gone up even higher so I'm not going to be able to rely to retire before I'm 68 so that means I've got 19 years to live in and it just makes more sense to do something that I'm well to do something that I enjoy doing and also to do something that I'm good at or that people tell me I'm good at hopefully I'm quite good at some of this stuff so it makes

sense to kind of pursue this but I also still want it to be free so I can't figure my way around that there's always going to be something for free I'm never gonna you know I love doing it for free I don't I don't want to charge anyone ever anything ever but it's just you know it's the it's the progression of this so at the moment I'm going to give people the option you can download it download it for a pound you can listen to it for free it's up to you and then in the

future I don't know we'll see what happens but I'm probably gonna maybe start making a few premium recordings that people can download and that isn't free you know but ultimately I just I want to just be able to be of use that's more important to me than anything really and I like what someone said to me a testimony that I got through yesterday I think it might have been today and it was that I helped to I helped to reduce the chatter in your mind when you listen to me almost it's I suppose it could

be a distraction it could be calming down it could be just my my boring drivel could just be almost like an antidote to the the frustrations of the day or the mind because I suppose maybe it's it's almost not mind numbing what I'm talking about possibly so your mind just starts to shut down and just starts to calm down and sometime tedium and boringness has a power in itself to just zap away some of those more extreme feelings that are no longer needed so you can just relax and and also you can feel good about

yourself because you can just you could think wow at least I'm not him probably you could say at least I at least I'm not at least I'm not talking for an hour about nothing at least at least I'm not him mind you at the same time you might be a little bit jealous because of Andre because yeah because I know there's a lot of Andre fans out there more Andre fans and Jason fans I know but I don't blame you because he is he's just so beautiful he really is it's weird I don't realize that

my I thought my life partner would be a ferret my a male ferret wow I'm gonna marry him he's a cute little thing mind you I never know where he is half the time he's got different places that he sleeps and he likes changing where he sleeps because he knows that I will come and get him and take him out into the cold for a walk when he doesn't want to or cut his nails when he doesn't want to or worst of all give him a bath I don't have to say the words when he

doesn't want to because he never wants that sometimes he wants to go out for a walk sometimes he seems even grateful to have his fingernails being cut but he never wants a bath oh no but he's okay he's a what is he he's something there's some there's some words for him I don't know what the correct words would be but he's this chair is uncomfortable I don't like this chair what am I gonna do oh oh it's my chair with the other chair because it's quite big so it did support my weight I'm not an

elephant I don't yeah I'm not I don't weigh like 15 tonne but I felt like I could just sit back and maneuver myself a bit you know and know that the chair wasn't going to collapse but this thing I don't know if it's almost feel like I need to move a bit gently and see the little creak yeah it should be fine it probably just means I spend more time at my table and my desk on the computer which is a good thing because I need to well I want to get more work done on

the lap on the the websites there's a lot to do but before I do that I just want to say thank you to everybody for reminding yourselves remind yourselves to be kind to yourself and I know I say this but there's actually this meaning in this because my friend Gunasara used to say it to me in 2004 and I was going through a heck of a time emotionally and he I basically used to offload on him and I shouldn't have done in retrospect I shouldn't I you know I mean he wasn't my counsellor he was

my friend but because he was so kind and generous and caring I kind of used to almost use him as a counsellor but he used to tell me to be kind to myself and it took me a long time to kind of understand what that meant to just take a step back being kind to yourself can be as simple as just doing something that perhaps you give yourself a hard time over so you know having a bit of chocolate I mean obviously not maybe if you're diabetic or anything but if you you know if you

say you you normally give yourself a hard time about eating chocolate and you need to be eating healthfully and all that well every now and then doing something that maybe isn't particularly healthy for you physically may be really healthy for you emotionally giving yourself a little bit of a break you know or having a bath you know a long soaky bath or listening to your favourite album or watching a box set of I don't know could be friends might be maybe your favourite sitcom you could whatever it is or Harry Potter films or reading a

book watching YouTube videos funny videos you like maybe going for a run if that's a thing that you like doing doing something that it's just something that you enjoy you know taking a break being gentle with yourself being kind to yourself and being kind to yourself could also be not eating any chocolate you know it's you can go both ways I know but emotionally just giving yourself a break so it might mean drinking less alcohol might mean eating less food that might be a way to be kind to yourself it depends on the situation so

it can be also mean doing something that feels really nice almost like a treat you know if you was gonna do something special for someone that you care about except this time this way you know it's you doing it for you whatever it might be so I'm going to bring this to an end remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy one of the reasons you deserve to be happy is because you have helped many people over the years many people people that you wouldn't even know you've helped might have been

a kind word might have been a smile you might have opened the door for someone you might have let someone cross the road you might have been you know just stopped your car and let them across the road safely and it changed the way that they behaved when they crossed the road walk to the garage and maybe they were friendly to the person that worked in the garage rather than maybe might have been grumpy which then you know there's a domino effect to this stuff so you've actually helped people and that's a very vague situation

there you've also helped people probably moments that you remember from the past regardless whether they appreciated it whether they told you they appreciate it whether even if they noticed it you help people and you deserve to be happy so that's it for me next recording I'll just say be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy I thought I'd expand today just to let you know I'm not just saying those words just for the sake of it I've actually thought it through so take care speak to you next time if you would like to

leave a testimonial go to my website bye