#266 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (3rd December 2019)

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name's Jason Newland. Please only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes.

If you'd like to support me, please go to paypal.me forward slash Jason Newland. Right, so hope you're well. That's quite a quick introduction, isn't it? Don't worry, we'll slow down gradually.

So, um, I, I, I, I, kind of decided that after yesterday I had a little bit of a, kind of a health scare, kind of, and, but I, I think it was caused, brought on by stress and worry and stuff like that. And, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna take a little bit of a step back from getting all caught up in, um, I'll tell you what, what, what's, what's been blah, blah, blah. I should be able to articulate myself.

I'm kind of not sure where I'm going with these, this free service that I do. And ultimately, I just want to make recordings. I just want it to be free and I want to hopefully help people.

That's, that's pretty much the cheese sandwich of it all. That's the basic, you know, all the other stuff, websites, uh, other things, and like, let's plan the future, and let's turn this into a business. And well, actually, I just want to offer a free service.

It's all I've ever wanted to do, really. And even when I try to kind of monetize, you know, by maybe selling some sessions or offering people a chance to download as well as listen for free, I still want to offer the free service at the same time, which is not going to work because if you can listen for free, what would you pay for the same recording if you can also listen to it for free? And I say that because I wouldn't, I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't, honestly.

If I went onto a website and there was a book, let's say it was Kindle, you know, or this, for example, was a Kindle book, and I could download the book for free, or I could, I could spend £1.99 knowing that that, that money will go towards that person and, you know, help them to cover the costs of their service. I'd still download the free one, probably. So I'm in no position to judge anybody, really.

If it's free, why wouldn't you have it? And if anything, I'll probably enjoy the book more. There's this old idea as if you pay for something, you value it. Well, I don't know.

I mean, think about food. What's the tastiest meal you ever had? It's free, isn't it? You know, someone gives you, cooks you something, you know, when you're really hungry, or if you're at work and you, I've been at work in the past where I've not had enough money to bring any food in. And, you know, one of my colleagues has given me a sandwich.

Best damn sandwich of my life that was, you know, and that was free. It was free to the degree of, like, it didn't cost me anything financially, but I didn't realise he was going to be mentioning that, bringing it up for the next two years in conversation. But yeah, other than that, it was free.

Not emotionally free, but, you know, financially free. So I've decided I want to get back to what I do, which I haven't left what I do. I'm still with making recordings, but I've made a few less lately, partly because I was coughing.

I had a bit of a cough for a few weeks, but I did a deep sleep whisper. Hypnosis recorded earlier this morning and, you know, as soon as I did it, the stats went up. People, it's a popular podcast and why am I not? I haven't made one since the 19th of November and it's now the 2nd of December.

And that's one of my most popular podcasts. So, you know, I need to perhaps focus a bit more on helping others and producing more recordings, then trying to figure out what my future is. But you know, the way I see it is my future, there's some obvious things that are going to happen.

And to all of us, I'm not going to dwell on that, but outside of the inevitable and the future, I would say it's probably going to be a lot better than the past for me in quite a few ways. You know, having a home to live in and I mentioned it's not like bragging because, you know, I suppose the majority of people do have a home to live in, but there are people listening that perhaps don't and they've got high rent or living in a room. I did that for decades, so I do know what that's like to do that.

I think I mentioned it more in a gratitude in a way. I'm kind of verbally showing gratitude because I do feel it when I say it. I probably feel it more when I say it than when I just think it.

I don't know if that makes any sense. So I do feel grateful for having a home. It's basically mine to lose, you know, in a sense of the only way I could get kicked out of here is if I started being antisocial.

And I'm not. I never have been. So, well, not at home.

I think if you're going to be antisocial, you should do it outside, in the street, you know, in town, in public places. That's antisocial behavior. As far as I'm concerned, that's where it should be.

Not it should be, but that's the, you know, not at home. I like to have a break from causing chaos when I'm at home. Now, I'm not a chaos person.

Mentally, sometimes a little bit chaotic, but generally not. You could say, actually, the way I talk is, my conversational directions could be almost chaotic at times. I'm not sure, really.

But there's no way if you let me know anymore, is there? Because I got rid of the website. But that was a blip. But I didn't know it was going to cost me £135 or whatever to get the thing back.

So that's gone. But my Facebook page is still there. I've got my Facebook page, my Twitter page.

There's three Facebook pages. There's my ordinary personal Facebook page. But by saying that, I don't really have any friends or family on there.

I've got a couple of friends on there, but no family. It's mainly just for people that listen to my stuff. And I've got friends, you know, Facebook friends that I've made, you know, over the last 13 years or whatever.

So that's, it's wrong for me to say they're not friends, because there are people there that I do contact and have, you know, every now and then. But people that I probably would be friends with in real life if I lived in their area, or their country even, you know. But I don't.

I live here. And that's the other thing. I've got a Facebook page, like an actual page page, where I've got about 29,000 likes on that page or followers or whatever.

So that's, I always post everything I do on there. Doesn't get a huge response, to be fair. But I think people, they just click on the link and go to the podcast.

It's, you know, there's not much, because I produce, even really, I would say, even when I'm not producing much, I'm still producing more than probably most people. I'm still, you could still say I'm fairly prolific, even when I don't make many. Because I still do 10, 10 plus a week, probably, even on a slow week.

Perhaps, maybe not. I don't know. I was looking at the stats.

I had 54 downloads, 54,000 downloads in October, and just over 50,000 downloads in November. So I want to try and get to this, I want to get 60 or 70,000 in December. So I'll do a few extra sessions.

But the thing is, I get so caught up, like when I do a website, it's almost like I'm a, I get stuck in the groove, or stuck on the track, you know, like a railway track. And I can only go in the direction that the track's going. And I got a little bit like that when it comes to building websites.

And really what I need, or not need to, but what I want to be doing is making more recordings. And I just think like in 20 years time, when I'm 69, so it can't help it, it just rhymes, doesn't it? When I'm 69, lucky number for some, I like to think that, I'd like to look back on a work, you know, the content, you know, you know, lots and lots of recordings. By then I'll probably have maybe 10,000 recordings done.

And I'd like to look back at that, rather than look back at, look how many times I've built and, you know, spent on building websites, and, you know, all that. I don't want to be spending time doing that anymore. Although I kind of enjoy it.

I think part of the reason I enjoy it, is because I can do that at the same time as watching telly. I can't read and watch telly. I can't listen to music and watch telly.

Maybe if I took up knitting. See, knitting is supposed to be really relaxing. And also knitting is really good for your brain.

Because you're using both sides of your brain at the same time. A bit like when you're playing the piano. Because your left hand activates the right side of your brain, the right hand activates the left side of your brain, usually.

I say usually, I think some people have brains that are a bit different. But it's like, wow. So if I take up knitting, it can be relaxing.

And also, when you use both sides of your brain, so when someone's got stress or anxiety, they're generally using one side of their brain predominantly, really predominantly. So when they start using both sides, it's almost like a tennis game, you know, the ball going over the net to either side of the brain. Which means it activates the other side, which relieves the side which had the stressing, which causes relaxation, calmness and sleep.

In this situation, possibly, you know, by activating both sides of the brain. So maybe listening to me also activates both sides of the brain. Maybe, I might be surprised if it activates any part of the brain.

If anything, it probably shuts down your brain. Yeah, that's probably what it is. That's why if I'm ever in a passenger seat of a car, I try not to talk.

I'm just scared that they'll fall asleep. But right, there was a point to what I was saying. I don't know what it was.

My nan used to knit. And she used to watch telly while knitting. And she'd knit a scarf during the news.

So after this, mind you, she used to make these polo neck jumpers, especially at Christmas. And I think sometimes it would be a Christmas jumper with a reindeer on the front, you know, or Father Christmas, Santa, whatever you want to call him. And Santa in a manger, you know, that kind of stuff.

And even though I was little, you know, I was always little when I was a kid. It's almost like a stunted growth or something. I could never get my head through the whole of the... I did eventually, but I was literally just gasping for breath.

It was almost like every time, every Christmas, I'd open that present, you know, hoping that it'd be something different. Like, oh, please, what's my nan got me this year? Please, please let it just be some stinging nettles or something. Just that's got to be better than the jumper.

And she said, she said, that's rude. I said, I didn't realize I was talking out loud. She said, well, you were.

And she chucked a big bit of tuna at me. No, she didn't. And I think the problem was I had this, I had a human head, which sounds like a strange sentence.

I had a human head. You had a human head? What does that mean? I don't understand. I had a human size head, maybe an adult size head or a normal child's size head for my age, but an unusually small body.

I've caught up, you know, I don't have a particularly tiny body now, but it's an ever-growing body these days. It's not that bad. I've got okay legs.

I don't even know what, why am I saying that? I've got quite, I think if you saw a picture just of the top of me, like from my belly button upwards, or from the, the crease, the belly crease, where water can hide sometimes. I have to pick it, lift it up when I get out of the bath and the water drips down. Anyway, if you did that, you'd think, if you said, what kind of legs do you reckon he's got? And you probably think I've got chubby legs.

And then if you were just showing a picture of my legs, just separate, a separate group, so we've got two different groups, not groups as in bands playing music, but groups of people, like a study group, not study in a subject, just, you know, anyway, if they, if you showed a picture just of my legs, so from, you know, so I was, I was naked, my legs were naked and my feet all up to the tops of my thighs, let's say. And if you said, what type of body has he got, upper body, you, not you, because you, you know that I'm not slim, but the person would probably think that I was slim because I've got slim legs, or at least they might say, I bet he's got a human shaped body.

Again, I'd be wrong, but you know, they'd, they'd, they'd guess wrongly because my legs are kind of, they're clearly strong because it's carrying this weight around.

I mean, the strongest part of my body is my legs, clearly, because it's carrying 15, I think I'm 98 kilos, whatever that is, 15.25 stone or something. So it's 98 kilos. I'm only 5'8", by the way, I'm not, not 6'2", which would be, I think 6'8 would be the right height for my weight, I think.

No, I think my ideal weight for my height is 11 and a half stone. And the last time I was 11 and a half stone was when I lost loads of weight and got really fit in 2004. And I went down to 11 and a half stone.

And I was doing Wing Chun Kung Fu three times a week. I was working in a, at a part time job, but it was physical. I was like, moving around a lot and unloading and packing and like in this retail shop.

So I was on my feet most of the time. I was also a vegetarian, which meant that, well, I was, I got to know the toilet quite, quite intimately. I was in and out quite often.

So I got down to 11 and a half stone from probably at that point, I was probably about 13 and a half before that point. So I lost about two stone. And I was probably at my, I'm not going to say at my fittest because my fittest probably would be when I was a teenager, realistically, when I was maybe 14, 15.

And, but from a kind of a, as an adult, that was probably the fittest I've been up to that point. And then what year was it? 2004. And then I went back to sales, insurance, working in an insurance company.

And I remember thinking to myself, I'm so slim now. I wonder if I'll put weight on sitting in here eating food all day, which is kind of the obvious answer to that. And I did indeed put weight on.

Not straight away though. So for the first few months, I was fine. And then blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I just, so I went up to, well, actually when I left, when I left, when I moved here, not this place, but to this town to do my university course, I was 13 and a half stone. So I never went above 13 and a half. And that was enough.

That was heavy enough for me. And I didn't really want to be heavier than that. I was okay with 13 and a half.

I kind of grew into it, you know, kind of was okay with it. Did exercise, weights and stuff. So I was okay.

I wasn't just this big walking blob. But then 2007, end of 2007, I didn't realize I put weight on. And in 2009, I went and weighed myself and I was over 14.

I was 14 and a half stone or over 14 stone, something like that. But I was bloated. I just had this big meal, burgers and chips and stuff.

I just, so that didn't help. Didn't help how I was feeling because I had, I weighed myself in, I think it was in Boots Chemist and they had a weighing machine. So I thought, well, I'll just weigh myself or it might be down in the toilet.

I don't mean the toilet weighed me, but they had a weighing machine in Liverpool Street Station Boggs. And I love that word Boggs, crapper. Thing is the crapper, that sounds rude, but that's the name of the person that invented the toilet.

So it's not rude at all. And Mr. Crapper. Can you imagine? You invent something to help people and it's one of the greatest inventions of all time.

Penicillin has got to be above it. But outside of medical stuff, the toilet is one of the greatest all time creations, inventions as far as, well actually not just for ease and comfort and stuff, but actually it also saved probably millions of people's lives. Cause you know, there was a time when people used to just do it in a bucket and then chuck it out in the street.

So it's chuck it out the window. So, you know, it's one of the greatest inventions ever. And Mr. Crapper, who invented it, probably thought, you know what, my name, when anyone hears the name crapper, they're going to think of me.

They're going to think of all the good that I did in the world and how I changed the hygienic and sanitary situation in towns and villages and cities all across the world. Saving probably millions of lives over the years, had it not been for this invention and just, or, you know, people are just going to be, there'll be statues up for me and it'll be, my name will just be connected with everything that's good. In fact, they might just call me by my, you know, they might just, like my friends call me crap.

So we'll say I'm going to go for a crap and it'll be like, they feel like they're part of me, my friend, you know, they kind of, it's a genuine kind of love there. When people say, I'm going for, I'm going to do a crap and they're going to be talking about, I'm going to invent something amazing. I'm going to create something.

So when people are going for a crap, they're creating something amazing that's going to be useful to the world. That's what going for a crap is going to mean. Creating something useful and then there's all, then things are going really good.

It's going really well. People are going to be saying, it's going down the crapper. It's going really well because it's so successful just like Mr. Crapper.

Yeah. Maybe not. Anyway.

Yeah. So I'm waiting for my chair to be delivered. So it's another big black chair, recliner, and I'm going to be sitting in that and making recordings.

So really, I would say fingers crossed, but I'm going to have to, I'll pretend I'm crossing my fingers. I hope it's comfy and I can hopefully just make lots of recordings sitting in there, just chilling out. And the ones that need to be really quiet, because I don't, I know ideally there'd be background sound in any recording ever, but this, I don't know.

I kind of don't want to, I don't, I've got this shed, which is going to be the recording studio for ideally the whisper stuff and some of the long sleep, like the deep sleep hypnosis weekly ones. But when I'm making these recordings, I like to be a bit more freer and have something to look at, if that makes sense. I feel more comfortable in my chair, in the living room, looking around, Andre running around now and then, and just with some space because it just feels nicer.

I prefer to do all of the recordings like this, but it doesn't fit together with some of the really quiet stuff that I do, you know, like the whisper stuff. So I'm going to work on the, probably next year now because it's December and every penny I've got is probably going to go towards buying presents for family and that. I've got three, three, four nieces and nephews.

I've got one niece, which is, she's fairly old now, she's about 10 or 11. I've got twins, niece and nephew, who are about two. And I've got another niece who's just over a year.

And so it's quite, I don't know what to do. I'm thinking I might buy stuff on the catalog so I can just pay it off, you know, sort of over a few months. But it's just, I don't know.

With my niece, my, the newest one, the newest one, the newest one, she was very, very poorly, really ill for quite a long time. So at the beginning of this year, she was in hospital in London for a few months. So just, I know she won't remember it as she gets older, but she's experiencing it in the moment.

You know, it does. So I don't know, I kind of like to get her something a bit special, but I don't know what. It's part of me, I kind of like want to get educational stuff, when the reality is they probably don't want educational stuff.

They just want something to play with, you know, a toy, something that's fun. And with my dad, all I've got to get him is just a bottle of whiskey and he's happy. But in the past, I've bought him presents and thinking it'd be a really nice present.

And he just wants a bottle of whiskey. I mean, I bought him the DVDs, this is a few years back, I bought him DVDs, every single James Bond film, a big box of James, there's quite a few of them, there's like 30 or something. So every single James Bond film on DVD, and I gave them in a package.

And it was quite a long package. And he opened it up, and he opened the top up first. And he looked down.

And I could see the look of disappointment in his eyes when he saw that it wasn't scotch. Because it looked like a bottle, a box of scotch, you know, scotch whiskey inside one of those boxes. So I'll probably get him some whiskey, that probably makes sense.

But I'd like to get him some nice whiskey. You know, something just like 100 years old or something. But one day I will.

I'd like to get him, you know, you can get really old stuff, like hundreds of years old, but it's expensive. But whiskey is his hobby, though. It's actually, it's not like scotch, it's not just something he drinks.

He's visited distilleries in Scotland, and he's just, he loves it. He loves everything to do with scotch. Single malt is what he likes.

So I'll get him something. I don't think I could buy alcohol in the catalogue, though. I don't think they sell that stuff.

So I'll have to pay for that. What should I get for my, see my brother, he says, for my niece, he said, it's very organised. You know, we're talking October time, I think he was talking about Christmas presents.

Sort of who's getting her what, and just like who's getting his daughter presents, and what they're getting, like, I don't know what I'm going to get. But we kind of agreed. I can kind of see where he's coming from, I suppose, if I put some effort in.

I suppose he doesn't want to get the same stuff as what other people get her. So I'm going to get her a doll, some kind of doll, dolly doll, something. Because she hasn't got one, apparently.

My niece, the oldest one, I'll probably get her a book, or maybe a book token or something, I don't know. What was I thinking of getting everybody? It might sound a bit strange, but I thought of buying everybody in the family the same present, and just wrapping it up, and just, when they open it up, just the look on their faces as they realise that I bought them toilet wet wipes. Wet wipes for their bum.

Android toilet wipes, or whatever they're called. I thought that'd be both an amusing present, but also useful at the same time. Because they're like, oh, Jason, what a crap present.

Crap. And you're like, oh, rubbish present. Yeah, very funny, ha ha ha.

But at the same time, however, I'm going to have a clean bum. So it kind of, you know, it works. So I might do that.

But I don't know. I think if I do that, I think I'm going to do it after I've had dinner. Because if I give my step mum that as a present, I don't think she's going to want to feed me afterwards.

I can't imagine that she'll want to give me any food for dinner. So I'll wait until afterwards to give the presents out. I wonder what else I could buy them.

And I could try and, if I could keep it cheap as much as possible, I could buy boxes of Maltesers for everyone and some sweets and just put a package of chocolate and stuff together that maybe costs £5 for each person. But then, oh, squeaky chair, squeaky chair. How many people have I got? That's the parents.

So I've got no grandparents anymore to buy for, unfortunately. So who else is there? There's my brother, my brother and my sister and me four nieces and nephews. So that's nine people.

Is there anyone else that I need to buy for? Probably my friend. That's it. What I would like to do, and I've been thinking of doing this for the last four years, but I never got around to doing it.

I'd like to buy some, you know those tin selections of chocolates, like Quality Street. You might not have them in your country, but Quality Street or Roses. What's the other one? Quality Street.

I'm trying to picture them. That usually comes in a tin, I think. Roses.

I think that now comes in a plastic thing rather than a tin. It used to come in a tin. Yeah, sort of that kind of thing anyway.

There's other ones. I'm just trying to think what they are. They're not something that I would potentially really buy very often.

But I thought about getting a few of those tins of chocolates and stuff and give them one to the doctor's surgery, one to the A&E in the hospital, one to, not the dentist, because that probably wouldn't be a good present, would it? To give them chocolate. Plus, I don't like the dentist. No one does, do they? It's weird, isn't it? It's so important.

Dentists are so important in our society, but they're the least, they're almost below traffic wardens when it comes to loving them, even though they do such a great job. Also, I'd like to perhaps take one to the charity that helped me to get my flat, because they helped me. It was a housing charity.

Give one to the council for giving me the flat. Take one to the housing people in the library, because they were really good and helped me during that process. I'd like to take one to my social worker that helped me get this flat as well, but I don't know where she is.

I don't think she works there anymore. So I'll have to leave that one out, but get one for the mental health team, a box of chocolates and stuff, and maybe one for the garage, the local garage where I just see them regularly. Although I don't particularly like the garage itself, because it doesn't always have what I need.

But I said the doctor's surgery, didn't I? Yeah. I would say my doctor, but I've got no idea who my doctor is. So that'd be seven boxes.

And even when they're cheapest, they're like five quid, five, 10, 15, 20, 20, 30, 35. So it's over £10. But now, when you come up to Christmas, they put stuff up.

So a lot of stuff is discounted, isn't it? It's always, oh, I've got a special sale on before Christmas, and clothes and stuff like that. When it comes to food and chocolate, that goes up in price. The reason I don't know who my doctor is, is because, it's not because I can't pronounce her name.

It's because, well, I can't, but she's not my doctor, if that makes sense. I had, since I was at that surgery, since 2007, because I moved to the town I'm in, November 2007, and then early 2008, I had a chest infection. So I went to the doctors, which was in the area, and I signed up, and got seen and everything, and was part of that surgery.

And in that time, I think I've had three doctors come and go. And now, yeah, I had one doctor, he's very strict, always used to moan at me saying, you need to know what medication you're on. You need to be able to tell me what medication you're on.

I say, look, you prescribed it to me. You've got it written down on your computer screen. Why do you need me to tell you? He said, don't answer back.

I was a bit scared, so I didn't. And then they had this, so he left, and I had another doctor, and he was there for a couple of years. He was there during 2013, when I was not very well.

So he was there, and I was seeing him pretty much every week for a while. I had to get sick notes from the doctor for my work, so I used to go in there every week on a Monday morning. And then he left, and he was really, he was nice.

Then we had another lady, not another lady, had a lady come. I didn't see her very often, because most of my medications were with the mental health team. So I see a psychiatrist once a year as a medicine, medical review, and just to check everything's okay.

The doctor can't actually change my medication. He's not allowed to. The GP cannot increase my medication or decrease it or stop it.

Hasn't got the power. Psychiatrist is the only one that can do that. Well, and me as well, I'll see if I just decide to stop taking stuff.

And so that doctor, I didn't see very often. She was nice. I couldn't pronounce her name.

It was quite a long name, but she was lovely, and she left. The doctor who I saw in 2011, I went to a doctor again, and she put me on antidepressants and referred me to the mental health to, for a review, psychiatric review, or whatever it's called. And I still got a letter that she, she sent me a copy that she sent to the mental health place.

And it was like, so I've just seen this lovely gentleman. He's, um, he's a practicing counselor, which I was at the time. And he's been in and out of depression and had anxiety and stuff since 1995, been prescribing medication on and off since 1995.

And I think it's time that he, and she went into detail about my past because she gave, she gave me quite an in-depth interview, which has surprised me. And she remembered it all. She wasn't writing it down.

She just remembered it. So I, a really nice letter, um, hard reading sometimes, but you know, it's nice, you know, what she said about me. And she sent me to the, this place, and that's when they diagnosed me with bipolar in December, 2011.

It's literally what? 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19. So eight years now, which I think it was something like the 2nd of December, 2011, which is today. Isn't that weird? So it's been eight years I've been diagnosed with this condition and I got re-diagnosed as well.

So 2013, because I got given medication and I just didn't take it because I couldn't function. I wanted to be able to function to be, you know, I had the antidepressants, but not the other stuff. And, uh, and then I went back to different psychiatrists and they diagnosed me again, even though I was already diagnosed.

Okay. How many times are you going to diagnose me? And, uh, the, I think it's because I hadn't been with the mental health team. I hadn't kind of participated in any of the medication that they wanted me to do anything.

So the dog barking in the background. Anyway, there was a point to this. Oh, the doctors.

So this lady, they were the one that you could say pretty much changed my life in a sense of I ended up with a diagnosis, initially ignoring it in 2011, but then then not being able to ignore it in 2013. Um, so she left as well. She retired.

I think about a year or two ago and the doctor's surgery, they've not allocated me anybody because I don't go in there. I don't. And they moan at me.

They're saying, you know, they give me these, they call them batches of medication. So I've got this medication that's for life, you know, pretty much, unless they find a, a cure for bipolar, but this is, it's medication and I'm going to be on them possibly for the rest of my life, that or something else, which is all right, I suppose. I don't, I don't know, but the doctor's surgery who write the prescription out, they give me these batches that last for six months and they sent to the pharmacy.

The pharmacy just once a month sends me a text message to say, come and collect your prescription. And then at the end, when it comes to the fifth month, they say, or the sixth month, you have to go back to your surgery, doctor's surgery and get them to do another batch, which is what I do. And practically every time they say you have to come in and have a medicine review, medication review.

And I said, why? They said, because you have to have that in order for us to prescribe again. And I said, I'm prescribed by the psychiatrist. Doesn't matter, you've got to come.

I said, yeah, but the doctor's surgery, the doctor can't change my prescription. You have to give me the prescription because the psychiatrist has prescribed it. I need this medication and it's got nothing to do with the doctor's surgery.

And they said, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they said to me, well, we'll give you one medication for this month, but you still have to come in. The doctor's insisted on seeing you.

I said, why? Why? What possible reason? And she said to me, the receptionist, she said, it's because every patient has to come into the surgery at least once a year to be seen by a doctor. So I booked it in October. I'm seeing them this week.

So six weeks it took for me to get an appointment. Yet on the news constantly, we're being told that the doctors are overstaffed and they've got too many patients and they don't have enough time to see everybody. And there's big waiting lists.

There's going to be a big waiting list if every single patient has to go in once a year, regardless of whether they need to or not. Because you think if every doctor's surgery, let's say has, I don't know, 10,000 patients in the area, that might not be that many. But let's say if it is like probably 5,000 at least, that's 5,000 appointments that last 10 minutes every year.

See, I can't do the math because I don't have a calculator to do it with. But that's a lot, isn't it? That's a lot of hours. I mean, 10, you're going to see five people an hour.

Realistically, probably four, because they do overlap. But let's say five, they're not going to see six. They have to have a break.

And there's appointments go on further than they need or maybe as long as they need to rather. So let's say five people an hour per doctor. So it's 1,000 hours, 1,000 doctor hours per year just to see people that don't even need to be seen.

Wow. I mean, I don't want to go to the doctors if I don't need to. And with the mental health team, I go to psychology.

I've got a psychologist I see every two weeks. Why would I want to go to the doctor? I feel what I'm going to do actually, I'm going to speak to my psychologist and explain it to her and just say, look, we just bypass the doctor's surgery and just send an ongoing prescription to the pharmacy from the psychologist or from the psychiatrist. I mean, she can prescribe me as well.

But yeah, she's a doctor. So I think she could probably prescribe me the medication, but I don't know if she'd be allowed to change it. She might be, I don't know.

So my chair is supposed to be between four and six. I reckon I'll be here soon. I'm feeling it.

I'm feeling it in my bones. Yes, oh yes, oh yes. I'm feeling it.

I'm hearing sounds. So anyway, I'm going to say goodbye. Thank you for listening.

Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy. Speak to you soon. Lots of love.

Bye.