#263 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (29th November 2019)

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name's Jason Newland. Please only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes.

Now, this, I'm sitting on this, basically last night, I put back together the big black squeaky chair that doesn't work anymore. And it's all wonky, I'm kind of, I feel almost like my, I feel like I'm leaning out of a car window, you know, it's that kind of feeling. And my socks, on my left foot my sock is pulled all the way up, but on my right foot the sock is down, so that part of my leg is showing.

And it just, it feels different temperature wise. I kind of want to pull it up, so I'm going to do that. There, I thought I'd share more of my life with you.

So there you go, talk about my socks. Oh yeah, today, well yesterday, but you know, while I've been awake, oh man, I had an appointment at 12 o'clock with my psychologist. And we're doing, well yeah, anyway, I'm not telling you that, we're doing, we're talking about things.

And I was asleep all day yesterday, or the day before. And it was too late to change the time of the appointment to later in the day, which I always used to do. But for some, you know, I kind of had it earlier, because I'd started sleeping during the night.

I sound like a toddler, don't I? Like a little baby. Oh, it's now sleeping all the way through the night. Isn't Jason a good boy? I am, I just wasn't tired last night to go to sleep.

So I ended up in bed about eight o'clock in the morning. I set my alarm for 10, so I had two hours sleep. Got up, and I pretty much had, excuse me, I had an hour to get myself ready, have my breakfast and everything.

Well, not an hour, three quarters of an hour, because I needed to leave to get a bus. And it all went okay, I just felt really like, you know, those two hours between eight in the morning and 10, I had some really nice sleep, really nice. And, but I forced myself up with the intention of going back to bed when I got home.

So it's like the little promise, so it's the little, the little dessert after eating the, the Brussels sprouts or the veg that I don't like. But I do actually like Brussels sprouts now. Never used to.

Weird that, isn't it? Wonder what else that I didn't used to like, I'd like now. Went through a phase, went through a phase, or phrase, phase, when I didn't like Weetabix. My proper didn't like Weetabix.

And then I loved it. Don't know what that was about. Other things I don't, peanut butter, never liked peanut butter.

For me, it's more, I think peanut butter smells lovely. I don't know, it tastes nice. It's kind of, I know it's a weird, weird logic.

I don't know what it tastes like, because I have eaten it, and not for years. We're talking probably 30 years ago, but I still remember the taste. However, it's the look of it.

I don't need to really go into details. Anyone that's ever seen peanut butter, you kind of must know what I mean. It just doesn't look like something that I should be putting in my mouth.

It's, whoever came up with that, it's a great idea. It's tasty, I think. Well, I don't know, if you close your eyes.

But who looked at that see-through jar of brown, thick, gooey stuff, and thought, now this will be popular. I mean, maybe they started with the visual to start with. Maybe they, it was someone that had a bad stomach, and was really down on his luck, needed some ideas.

And, you know, couldn't think of an idea, and then had a bad stomach, and looked into the toilet, and thought, Geronimo, that's what it needs to look like. And then went from there, and kind of found ingredients that can be that texture. We want to make something that looks the same coming out as it does going in.

That's the goal. So, I don't know, it's a bit like sweet corn, isn't it? Like, is there any point in eating sweet corn at all? The body just doesn't, it's like it doesn't do anything with it. I mean, why, why eat it then? You could say, why eat chocolate, but don't ever say that to me.

Why eat chocolate? How dare you? Oh, that's better. So, I went into town, and I went and saw my friend that sells the Big Issue. I said hello, and I said, go for a drink.

And then I went to my meeting. And again, I won't go into details, because this is a light-hearted podcast. But it was quite interesting, because I was talking about my life, and about my past, and about stuff that I don't really talk about on these podcasts.

Although I've probably mentioned some of them, but make it almost humorous at times. And it came after the evening before, where I had yet again got rid of a lot of my stuff. So, I got rid of my website.

I got rid of my store that I had, that I've been building. I got rid of Facebook and Twitter. And I've now reinstalled Facebook and Twitter, so that's all back up again.

And there's a few little reasons for that. And then I was thinking, and we were just discussing about some repetitive behaviors of mine over the years. And that's one of them.

And it's got me thinking, it's got me thinking. And I think it's kind of, I'm in this situation where I really don't know where I'm going with this. I don't mean this particular recording, because I never know where I'm going with recordings.

But just generally, I almost feel like it'd be nice to have some kind of a goal outside of just hopefully helping people listen, you know, who are listening. But just, I feel like maybe there should be a bigger overall goal that I'm aiming or working towards achieving. And I don't really have that.

My goal really is just to have more listeners. And that's just what's happened. It's happening organically, which seems to be.

And it's just growing, you know, just new people are finding out about it, about what I do. And some of those people like what I do, which is groovy. And I just think, where am I going? What is my intention? And I don't seem to have one, other than just wanting to help, but I guess from a distance, you know.

So yeah, I just, I came home, I got a delivery, food delivery, I ended up spending too much money. But I've got enough food to get me through for a week or so. So that's good.

And when I got back, I had some tea cakes, I brought some tea cakes with me. And had some couple of tea cakes. And then shortly afterwards, I laid down for a little while.

And there was a knock at the door, that's my friend. We went for a walk. I took Andre out.

And then later on, I had another lay down and that this time I actually fell asleep. And it couldn't have been for more than a couple of hours maybe, I think. But it's nice.

Almost felt refreshed. And I went out again with Andre, took him for a walk. But before that, I called GoDaddy, who was the host of my website.

And asked them if they could reverse the deletion of the website. And they came back and said, yeah, we can. I actually phoned them up and said, we can do that.

And I thought, yay. He said, it's going to cost £105, I think he said, to get that done. Plus there's the cost of starting the web service up again.

So it'd be about £120. Then he said, you're in the UK, aren't you? I said, yes. He said, yeah, so that's going to be that amount.

I said, what if I was from China? He said, but you're not though, are you? He just said you're from the UK. I said, I know. But, but, bear with me.

What if I was from China? Would the price be different? He said, yeah. I said, how come? He said, because it's a different currency. I said, oh, okay.

You know, there's different rules, regulations for different countries, different prices for different countries. I said, that doesn't seem to make sense. And he said, don't tell that to anyone but me, son.

I said, sorry, dad. I forgot you worked there. It's weird, he does a little part-time job at GoDaddy.

And I said, how are the piles and everything? He said, yeah, they've been a bit itchy, but they seem to be okay. I said, oh, good. I said, well, that's the thing, isn't it? Maybe you need to stand up a bit more often.

Sitting down is not going to do any good. And it's just, I mean, you know, he said, what? I said, well, you know, it's, it's, what? Well, if you're sitting down, it's, what? What? What, son, what? Okay. If you think of a cave full of bats, and you block the entrance to the cave, the bats can't get out, and they're going to just stay there.

And they're going to get probably a little bit annoyed, restless, maybe. Yeah. Well, maybe that's what your bum's like.

He said, what? I said, no, I'm just saying, sitting down all the time, maybe your bum is a bit like a cave full of bats, where the cave's been blocked by a big rock, and the bats can't come and go freely. He said, you're comparing my bum to a bat cave. Yeah, yeah, but not, not in a bad way.

He said, how could it be in a good way? I said, listen, I just want to know about the website. You know, can you sort that out? We can talk about bums and, and bats, and bums and bats another time. He said, all right, okay.

I'll put you on hold. I said, wait a minute, can I, can I just sing you a little tune? He said, what? I said, are you listening? He said, yeah. I said, Batman.

He said, you're so childish. I said, I know. He said, at 49, son, I thought you'd be a bit more grown up by now.

I said, he said, you're very, very immature. I said, what you say is what you are. He said, what? I said, exactly.

And I said, dad, you know what? What, son? That's what? I put the phone down, hung up on him. So I think I won that. So I'm not able to get the website back.

And I know it's my fault for deleting it. He said, you know, I don't like to blame myself for anything. I find life's a lot easier that way.

Don't take any responsibility. But it's a shame because of all the work I put into the website. I really worked quite hard on it.

And it's a shame to have lost it. And I didn't, you know, so I'm just trying to think of a way of getting it back. And I got to get it back within a certain time scale, because it will be deleted off their servers after a certain time.

I don't know. I started thinking, how can I raise 120 pound to pay for that? And I couldn't think of anything. I went on a few websites and sort of different ways people were making money.

And I didn't seem to fit that particular criteria. And no one, I don't, I looked at it, I thought no one's going to pay me 150 pounds for an hour or for the boyfriend experience. So I don't know.

So yeah, I just, uh, what I thought of, what I thunked is this. It's something that I've been thinking about for a while anyway, is to offer the opportunity, the wonderful opportunity for those listening to have a Black Friday sale, which is today, Black Friday, the 29th of November. So a Black Friday sale where you can buy a flash disk drive for me, which will contain all of my recordings, everything, all on one drive that you can just plug into your laptop or whatever you want to plug it into.

And it'll have everything on there that I've done in the past until now, which would be about 1,100 plus, I think, recordings and maybe 1,300 or 400 hours, something like that. So there's a lot of stuff on there. And that was what I was thinking of doing.

99 pound and you can have the hard, you know, the flash disk drive, and then you can just transfer it to wherever you want it to be. So you could transfer it onto your phone or podcast or whatever, your tablet, your Mac, your whatever really, you can just make your own CDs. Or it could just be just a wonderful little gift to yourself.

That's what I was thinking. And then I'll just, I'll have to buy the disk, the flash disk, and put everything onto it. And then I'd send it out in a post to anywhere in the world, basically.

It doesn't cost too much money to do, you know, but a little flash disk, it's only a small package, it'd be quite easy to send it. So perhaps put it in a little bubble envelope thing. A bubble envelope, is that such a thing? There's a professional name for those envelopes, no doubt.

So that's what I thought of doing. I'm not sure. It seems like a good idea.

Yeah. So I am back on Facebook. I am back on Twitter.

Because I just had this memory of being on Facebook for the first time in 2007. Or was it 2006 even? I don't know. Yeah, possibly 2005.

Or was it 2005? I really don't remember. I think it was 2007. Maybe it was 2006.

I think it was 2007. Pretty sure. But anyway, I remember I had a week off work, so I had a cold.

And as I got older, I mean, I didn't have a cold for many years, and I wasn't like ageing, wasn't that kind of cold. But as I've got older, you know, with work, if I, you know, I don't go to work on a mill. I don't go to work at all at the moment.

But as when I hit my 30s, and because I used to work all the hours, and I'd always do every bit of overtime that was asked, and go in every day, any time of the day, you know, always, with any job I had always just did whatever I was asked. Apart from work hard, that was the one thing I didn't, I did not, refused to do. But I would turn up.

And I think that's, that should be rewarded. Just turning up is enough. So I always figured out, you know, because most of the jobs I had when I was in my 20s, and early or late teens, were very low paid.

So I figured I'd earn my day's wages just by being there, just by making the journey. That's how I kind of felt. And I am, I'm sure there was a reason for what I'm talking about, but I can't for the life of me think what it is.

What was I talking about? I don't know. Something to do with, it's actually gone out my head, how weird. I'm kind of glad it has, because there's not a lot in there that's completely useful right now.

But maybe a little bit, maybe something, somewhere might be useful at some point, at some time in the future. I just don't know. I really have forgotten what I was talking about.

What was I talking about? As soon as people were shouting at the podcast on their phone, you were talking about breadcrumbs and baking. Have you forgotten about baking? We were waiting to find out about the recipe for the rock cakes that your nan used to make. Boy, how could you forget that? Like, oh, really? I was talking about rock cakes? Okay.

Well, I did used to make rock cakes when I was a... Well, my nan used to make rock cakes. I'm not saying I'm my nan. I mean, you know, we're going into like an Alfred Hitchcock movie scenario, if I was like my nan and myself.

However, my nan made the best cakes. My stepmom really was a really great cook and a really great baker as well. And here's the choices I had when I was a kid, when I was an older kid, you know, living with three brothers and two adults in a house.

A little bit too busy for me, a little bit too much. And as my little brother, he could basically do anything he wanted all day long and get away with it. And I didn't really get too much flack.

But my older brothers, a little bit. Basically, my dad would have us working in the garden, digging the garden, moving one big pile of dirt from one side of the garden to the other for no apparent reason. And I chose strategically to offer my help to my stepmom.

Our class was my mum at the time, so I used to call her mum. And I used to be in the kitchen with her or help her with the housework and stuff like that. Vacuuming and cleaning and cleaning the sinks and whatever, just anything to avoid going out into the garden and just, you know, it wasn't, I mean, he didn't have a whip, but, you know, it wasn't far off a chain gang scenario.

It was a bit rubbish. So, especially in the winter, you know, I'd be looking out, laughing at them. And I'd be in the warm with the lovely smell of cakes being baked and I'd be chatting.

And so I was very strategic. I think it was quite a clever plan that I came up with, pretending to be interested in what my stepmom was doing in order to avoid going out in the garden. When in reality, I wasn't interested in any of them.

I just wanted to be on my own. I was, it's almost like I was born a recluse. It's weird, isn't it? But not in a bad way.

You know, when I was a kid, I loved sitting on my own, reading a book or sitting on my own, watching television or sitting on my own, watching a movie or lying down on my bed on my own, listening to music. Or if it's a nice day, sitting in the garden on my own. It's, the being on my own bit is the, it's peaceful.

It's kind of the serenity. And I don't know, I mean, apparently, you know, from a psychological aspect, human beings are supposed to be inherently social creatures. But I'm not.

Really. But on the same side, I think you'll come across as fairly friendly as well. So, you know, so if people meet me for the first time in a, let's say a group scenario, if there's a reason for me to be there, you know, I don't walk up to people in the street, saying hello and shaking their hands and, you know, flicking their nipples and kissing their ears.

I don't, you know, I'm not, I live in the south of the country. We don't do that in the southeast. It's, when I lived in Ireland, people would say hello to each other, everyone.

But it wasn't hello, it was so, so, so. Because it was in Carlo, County Carlo, I must say. I wasn't there for very long.

I lived there with Andre, on the original Andre. And people used to sort of just, so. Now, I don't know if that's a national thing or just a regional thing, like an accent, like g'day or, it was like, you know, hello, morning, what? So, like in London, so, all right, all right.

And it's, there's no conversation. All right, like, are you okay? Are you all right? It's not an invitation to tell me how you are. That's the good thing about London.

Well, that's the thing I used to like about London, the anonymity. And I know some people would find that lonely and perhaps, you know, especially, well, you know, we're all different, but I didn't. I loved it.

I lived. I mean, there's been times when I've walked down the street and I've seen someone I know and I saw them in time to dodge. And I kind of walked a different way around, so I didn't have to have a conversation with them.

Now, I class that as normal behaviour, but not everybody does, apparently. So, being on my own, but of course, I've got Andre, so I'm not on my own. And I've got you.

I've got you, you, who's listening. So, I'm not really on my own. But I kind of try to think, well, why is that? What's some of the reasons behind it without getting like heavy and stuff? And I think, can you hear that? It's Andre.

He's asleep in a carrier bag and he wakes up and suddenly he likes to scratch himself or he needs to go to the toilet. And I don't think he remembers where he is as far as what part of the flat he's in. Because he goes through periods, like throughout the day.

Sometimes he'll sleep in a carrier bag near the front door. It's one of those bags for life. And he loves it.

I don't know why, but he loves carrier bags. And sometimes he's on my bed. Sometimes he's over there in the living room, sleeping inside my old tracksuit bottoms.

Sometimes he's sleeping in the door. This is just wrong, but in the door, the dirty laundry. I can't do anything about it.

He just, he goes where he wants to go. But when I say dirty laundry, he does sometimes go in the pile, but not specifically the bedding. Like there's a little pile of bedding that I need to wash and he sleeps in there.

So that's probably just where he has been sleeping when it was on the bed. So it's just, it's what he likes to do. And other times he sleeps inside the shed, in the bedroom.

Sometimes he sleeps in the kitchen. Again, like in a carrier bag near the radiator in the kitchen. And other places.

Of course he sleeps in his bag, although he has, he has periods when he doesn't go near the bag for ages. And then other times when he spends all his time in the bag. So I can't really figure out what's going on there, but it's up to him.

You know, he chooses where he goes. Sometimes he'll sleep underneath the chair. Sometimes he'll just randomly just lay down on the carpet and just go to sleep, just stretch out on his back.

Or the only place he doesn't go to sleep really is the bathroom. And he sometimes, even in the kitchen, he goes to sleep behind the cooker. He was doing that a bit during the summer.

I think that's probably, it's fairly cold in there because the cooker's metal, the floor's tiled. So it's probably quite cool in the summer. And he doesn't go, sometimes he does go to, or he has in the past, gone to sleep underneath the sink or laid down underneath the sink.

Again, I think to cool down. Although there was one time when I couldn't find him anywhere and I'd been out and I came home. I don't know where I'd been.

I was preparing for my next space shuttle trip. I don't know what it was. And I came back and could not find my little furry friend anywhere, anywhere at all.

And I do mean anywhere, nowhere. And I started to get a bit concerned because there's only so many places. I don't, you know, I live in a, it's not a tiny flat, but it's not like a big, huge building.

It's just a, I'll give you the measurements one day if I, I do actually have a tape measure. I'm sure it goes over four inches, pretty sure. I've never used, measured anything over four inches yet, but I could measure each side of the wall from one side to the other, but I can't do it now because I can't be bothered.

It means standing up and it means getting it out of my toolkit because I've got a toolkit where I keep the tape measure. So I can measure from one side of the wall to the other, and then the other side of the wall to the other side. And that gives the, I don't know how to do square feet, really.

And I didn't take much notice during maths. And you know, I think, wonder why? Well, I think I know why. And there's a few reasons, but one of the reasons is because one of the nicest teachers I ever had in high school, probably the nicest teacher, but then I also had a lovely RE, religious education teacher, or two nice ones actually, that I got on really well with both of them.

And which was weird because I wasn't, I don't know why, but I just did, I just got on really well with them. They were really nice to me. But outside of that subject, I, in the first year of high school, when I was 11, I had a maths teacher called, I think his name was Mr. Johnson.

And he had a big beard, and he had long hair, and a little bit like Grizzly Adams from the TV show, Grizzly, what was it called? Tiffany Toes, was it? It was about a bear, a bear that took in a stray man, a lodger called Grizzly Adams. But was he really called Grizzly Adams though? Because now I think about it, the bear is a grizzly bear, wasn't it? I think it's a bit too much of a coincidence that he would meet up with a bear called Ben. I'm sure the bear was called Ben.

Hello, what's your name? My name's Ben. What's your name? I'm Grizzly Adams. You may have followed me, mate.

No, that's actually my name. What do you mean that's your name's Grizzly Adams? I'm a grizzly bear, and you say that your name's Grizzly Adams. Yeah, yeah, that's my name.

And I'm called Ben. What's that noise in the background? Oh, it's Andre sneezing. Okay, anyway, back to the story.

So I'm called Ben. I'm a bear. I'm a bear.

I'm a grizzly.Me, I'm a grizzly bear, and I'm called Ben. You're human, and you're called Grizzly Adams.

Yeah, what's your point? Well, tell me what is wrong with this picture? Well, it looks fine to me. Well, thank you. How long did it take you to draw it? Oh, about three hours.

Oh, good. And what's it supposed to be? Well, clearly it's an apple tree. Oh, okay.

I feel like we've gone off topic a little bit, haven't we? Yeah, grizzly. Okay, then Ben. I think her name is Ben.

Yeah, I don't know. It's not really, I don't... but who knows? I think it's Ben. A TV show I haven't seen for years, and I seem to remember the name of the bear.

But anyway, the maths teacher looked like him, and he was a big man. He wasn't skinny, but he was beautiful. You know? And I mean that in a, you know, like, I mean, I'm not necessarily the best judge, but I felt a real kindness from him, and I didn't get that feeling from any of the other teachers.

But he was, like, so I was struggling with maths. I was struggling with the subject, partly because I always had no interest in it. That's always can be a little bit of a deterrent to learning, possibly.

But also, I've moved around a lot. So I hadn't stayed at one school for any sort of amount of time. I've been at three junior schools just in that one town alone since the age of seven.

And then before the age of seven, I was at Catholic schools. I was in different towns, Newcastle, Southend, London. I was all over the place.

So I didn't really have any roots as such, you know? And I don't know how often I actually went to school, or if I did go to school, like, regularly. I don't know. I honestly don't remember.

I would have done when I was in a children's home, because it was run by Catholic nuns, and you may not know much about, but they're strict. I think that's at least one word to use. So I definitely would have gone to school, to a Catholic school, for a couple of years.

But as far as learning anything, I don't remember. And it's weird, because I would have learned I probably learned, like, off by heart. I would have learned carols, sermons, because we went to church every day.

I would have learned all that stuff. I would have learned stuff, how to sing in Latin, you know, some of the songs that my nan used to sing, and it's like in church, the Roman Catholic churches. So I would have learned all that.

But I've forgotten it. I just, it kind of, so yeah, I suppose, here's me thinking, well, I can't learn any other language, but clearly I did. At some point, I mean, I even spoke Geordie.

Like, if you're not from England, Geordie is Newcastle. It's a very, it's an accent, but it's quite, it can be difficult for people not from Newcastle area to understand, because it's a very strong accent. And I spoke like that.

So I'm not making fun of it. I literally, when I moved from Newcastle to Southend, no one could understand me. Because I'd lived in Newcastle for two years or three years or whatever, through the ages of two to five, maybe.

So I grew up speaking with a Geordie accent. And I was speaking a million miles an hour, really quick. And then we lived in Southend.

But I think I still had the Geordie accent, even when I went and lived with my dad, when I was seven. We still had like that fast, I don't know, apparently, that's what I've been told. And my aunt was laughing about it, actually, recently.

She'd said, you know, you were little Geordies when you came back. You were Londoners when you left, but I was only two. So I wasn't at two.

So you're talking, how much of an accent you have by the age of two. But when I came back, it was like, I can't do the accent. And then I became a Southerner.

So I was originally a Southerner, born in North London. So I would have been born with a London accent. And then I grew up with a Newcastle accent.

So I lived in a Newcastle council estate in a big tower block. And I was surrounded by people from Newcastle. So that's how I spoke.

And then I moved back to the South, like Southend. And I moved to a little town in Suffolk. And my accent just slipped away into Southern.

And because my dad's a Londoner, and my nan and grandad, all Londoners. My family, pretty much, on my dad's side, all Londoners. Why, my mum, yeah, kind of, I didn't have any mum's side of family.

And so I kind of learnt how to speak, I was going to say properly, but that's not the right word. I just learnt how to kind of, maybe how to fit in. I think I maybe learnt how to adapt to the accent, to where I was, you know, to the area that I was.

And I noticed that a bit when I was in Ireland, that I started to have a little bit of an Irish twang, started to use some of the phrases that I was hearing, that were almost, the phrases were like back to front, some of them. Or it's back to front here, you know, it just depends which way you look at it. But I, yeah, I kind of started saying some of that.

And when I came back, I was still using some of those phrases. And I quite liked it, actually, because on my nan's side, my heritage is Irish. Both her parents were Irish, and they came from Ireland.

I worked in London, my nan was born in London. And her dad worked on the roads, I think, like building the motorways and stuff. And then I'm not sure what her mum did, I forget the sounds of it.

Her mum would spend a lot of time giving birth. She had a lot of brothers and sisters, like eight or ten or something like that. So you say, what did her mum do? Well, she was a mother.

I mean, I can't imagine she'd have been able to go to work. How do you, do you raise 10 children or whatever, and have a, that's the hardest job in the world, isn't it? Having 10 children. Wow.

The weird thing about it, well, it's not weird, but my, her brother, and I met him, I met him quite a few times, and he was younger than her, but not much, about five years or something, I think, four years or something, I think, I think so. And he had an Irish accent. He was born in London.

And I questioned my nan, I did, I got a big bright light shining on her face, I said, now answer me, why has Uncle Anthony got an Irish accent? And she said, it's simple. The reason he's got an Irish accent is because both his parents are Irish. I said, but both your parents were Irish, and you ain't got an Irish accent, you've got a proper London accent, or a proper London, the London accent's different to how it used to be.

It's quite a more mixed now, but it used to be, I don't know how to explain it, it used to be different. And she said, oh, I said, well, he also married an Irish girl. I said, really? She said, yeah, your auntie, or your great auntie, whatever she was, was Irish.

So he was brought up in an Irish family, and he went straight from that to living with an Irish lady. It was around her family that were all Irish. So her sisters and brothers, and he was basically around the Irish accent the whole time.

And that's why he had an Irish accent. And I thought, well, that kind of makes sense, but still, I really, I don't know. I mean, I've dated women from anywhere, not anywhere, all over the place, I mean.

I've dated, where's she from? Where Dracula was born, Transylvania. I had a girlfriend from Transylvania, and I didn't start speaking like that. Would you like to go out for a drink? We're going to go somewhere nice.

Let me put my cape on first. We're going to take the horse and cart. And I didn't start speaking with a Transylvanian.

She didn't sound anything like that. She was lovely, though. But yeah, I haven't picked up the accents of anybody that I've, maybe it's because I've not spent enough time with them.

Although I would argue that there's not one person in the world that I haven't spent enough time with. I've served my time with everybody. I've done, yeah, there's not many I think.

If only I could spend more time with them. Oh, that day just went too quickly. It's, I wish I didn't have to go home on my own.

Oh, yeah, it's, I think the biggest nightmare would be being with someone like me, because I'd just be talking the whole time. So there'd be periods where, if there's two of me, one of me would be talking constantly, and the other one would be thinking, shut up, will you shut up? And then another time, the one that's saying, will you shut up? I'll be talking constantly. And the other one that was talking constantly before, will be going, will you shut up? Will you stop talking ever? So yeah, it wouldn't really work.

Plus, you know, I wouldn't want to date someone. I wouldn't want to date myself. Just drill a hole in a mirror.

That's just, you know, it's, it's a painful glory hole. So yeah, it's been a strange day. Did manage to get some sleep, which is good.

And I feel fairly relaxed. Just had a, just had a cooked dinner. And I'm feeling fairly chilled out now, which, yeah, it's all right.

So I'm gonna have a nice, nice, I'm gonna have a quiet weekend. Unlike all the partying that I normally do. I'm gonna, I think I'm gonna just take a break from, I'm just gonna just do what I tell other people to do and just maybe spend a bit of time being kind to myself.

Reminding myself that I also deserve to be happy. So kind of maybe focus on that a little bit. Maybe, maybe, baby.

Maybe, baby, I had you. Maybe, baby, you'll be true. Maybe, baby, I'll have you for me.

He, he. So yeah, we'll just see what happens. Show you what happens.

So this has been me. This has been me again. So thank you very, very, very much for listening.

And I will be making some more recordings for other podcasts very soon. I just, just need to be, need to be in the right zone. I can hear the birds in the wall cavity, who are still talking to each other.

So basically, in the wall, or maybe it's in the loft, but it sounds like it's in the wall as well. And I've seen the birds flying into it. It's where they live.

I don't know how many, there might be, there might be hundreds of birds up there. But if they're happy, they're happy, aren't they? So, so there you go. Remember, remember to be kind to yourself, because you deserve to be happy.

And if you're awake, repeat after me, I deserve to be happy. Using those exact words, talking to yourself, I deserve to be happy. I am a kind person.

I am a kind person. And I deserve to receive kindness and love. I deserve to receive kindness and love.

I also deserve to send that kindness and love to myself. I also deserve to send that kindness and love to myself. And the last sentence, sleeping is easy peasy.

Sleeping is easy peasy. Take care. Lots of love.

Bye.