#250 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (7th November 2019)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name's Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. I think it's number 250. I think.

But it might not be. But pretty sure it is. I have this vague recollection of typing number 249 in the previous, or the last one that I recorded a couple of days ago.

So yeah, I'm pretty sure this is, it's not episode 250 because there isn't any real continuation. It's more, it's not episodic, it's more, I don't know really. Anyway, only listen to this once you can safely close your eyes.

I'd just like to say thank you to those of you that have left testimonials on my website. And please, if you do like what I do, if you do like do do do do, then please go to my website and leave a testimonial. And you can also read the testimonials that are on there as well if you fancy it.

There's also... Oh, I'm yawning. I don't know what I told you there. It was obviously, it was a yawn.

I've got a gift me page as well on my website where you can send me gifts if you want. And please, if you do like this podcast or any of my other podcasts, maybe you can share it on Facebook or on Twitter or on Google+. Do you remember Google+, yeah.

Now that was a success. So yeah, it's... What you could just tell people. I've actually spoken to a couple of people this week.

And they... Three people actually have contacted me in the last week saying that they're fairly new listeners. And one's called Michelle. One's called Melanie.

Or Mel, possibly. Michelle and Mel. Sounds like they could be friends, doesn't it? Michelle and Mel could be like a sitcom or a TV show.

Michelle and Mel, or Mel and Michelle. And I had a message today saying from someone that left a testimonial saying that she'd only just started listening. And had a couple of nights of really good sleep.

But again, I'm not sure what she was listening to. I mean, as far as the podcasts go. Because I've got a few.

I've got a few. And this is just one of the many. I've only got a handful of popular ones.

My chair is so squeaky. I'm tired. I'm tired.

I might do one of these where I just whisper all the way through, just like that. What do you think? Occasionally I'll just do a whisper thing. But not today.

I've got my front door being replaced tomorrow. And I've been, I don't know why, but I'm also almost been trying to prepare myself for it. Yet there's nothing for me to do.

All I've got to do is just... nothing. They replace it. They do all the work.

I'm not a door replacer. But I started thinking, what if they need to use my toilet? So I cleaned my toilet. And I started thinking, oh, if they do, they're going to come into the flat.

Briefly, only front door area, but that's the area that Andre likes to go to the toilet. On paper, I should add. But occasionally he has the odd accident and stuff.

And I do. I've got a carpet cleaner. I purchased a carpet.

It's not industrial, but it's a proper carpet. Vax carpet cleaner. And I clean the areas that he uses to go to the toilet.

Even though I put paper down for him and stuff, but still. And also just the carpet gets mucky. It's constantly just... I don't know how to explain it.

It just spreads dirt everywhere. It's... Although, in his defense, I do have a little bathtub full of dirt. That I put specifically in the living room for him to play in.

So I kind of encouraged it. At the moment, there's foam all over the hallway. Because I had a box, which is a shelf.

Like a... It's a shelf, but it's a shelf rack. Set of shelves. I don't know.

One that you put together and then you ensemble it. And then stick it on the wall. It's not a big shelf.

It's like a smaller shelf. Smaller than a big one. And... I... I unpacked part of it in the hallway.

Just left it there. So I took the shelves out and stood them up against the wall. But I left the box just lying down.

And inside the box was styro... Is it styrofoam? Cellophane, styrofoam. You know, that white stuff that... Ams use for packaging. And it breaks, but it's... When it breaks, it goes bing.

It doesn't go bing, but it goes... You can snap it, but also... It almost looks like... I guess it's what you would use for snow. If you had a... Not if you... Not really. It's not really snow.

But if you was perhaps doing a... A snowy scene on stage. In a pantomime or some kind of play which isn't professional. I imagine you'd perhaps use that as... As snow.

You know, because from a distance it's white and from a distance it's... Almost snowy-ish. Anyway, Andre's been ripping it to bits. He loves it.

Now I've got rid of it all, but... He likes to scratch it. And, you know, play with it. When... I'm... When I'm in bed, basically.

That is his time to... To... I don't know if he has a list of things that annoy me that he does. That's one of the recent things that he's been doing. He had one in his shed and I didn't realise it was in there.

I just... I must have just put it... Lean it up against the side inside the shed and... And... I was woken up at some time, you know, silly time in the morning. And he's... Basically... Fighting with it, you know. There's so much noise.

And... It was just a bit... I had to take it off him in the end. I had to... I think I put it on top of the shed. To, you know, just to hide it from him.

Because he can't get to the top of the shed. Although, I say that, if he really, really wanted to, he'd find a way. He's... I think tenacious is an understatement for him.

He never gives up, ever. Always... He will never give up until he gets what he wants. And... That's a pretty amazing quality, really, in some ways.

And extremely annoying in others. So, at the moment, he's in the bedroom. I'm not sure what he's doing.

I just took him out for a late night walk with my friend and his dog. And... So, he usually gets quite wet. Because he, you know, rubs in the grass and stuff.

Gets a bit muddy. So, what he likes to do normally, if he's really wet and muddy, when we get back, he jumps onto the bed and dries himself off on my bed quilt. That's his thing, which is really... quite horrible, really, isn't it? It's a bit disgusting, but... Honestly, my flat and my belongings are just for his use.

It's everything. Which is why... Which is why... I have been making some changes to my home. Which is a bit weird, really, because it's taken me over four years to do some of the stuff that I've been planning to do.

And only... I've done two of those things today. So, the first thing... It's not in order of whatever. But... I've bought a few bits over the last couple of months.

I've bought some bits to try and make the flat a bit better. Like, I've got this shed. That was more for making recordings.

However... It needs soundproofing. Soundproofing. So, there's still quite a lot to be done there.

If I can use it for that. Well, I didn't know. I'm not an expert on sheds.

And I had no idea this is what happens to sheds, but... When it was put together... Bearing in mind that... It was basically... Already put together, really, in a sense of... The sides. Just basically four sides. A bottom, a base, you know, and a top.

And a door. So, it was all kind of put together. But what I didn't realise is... It's not... There's big gaps in it.

You know, the wood, as it's been... I don't know how they make the shed to start with. But there's gaps between the wood. It's not sealed.

Which means... I'm going to need to, first of all... Get some sealer. Some soundproof seal. To put in between... To basically seal every gap in the shed up.

On the outside, then on the inside. And then put some other stuff. Some foam or something.

And then I've got... The soundproof... I've got all the soundproofing pads... That I need. That should cover it. Should like... Cover the whole thing.

Which should be fine. It's just... It's quite a lot. I haven't got a light in there.

But I'm going to get one next week. When I next get paid, I'll get a... It's going to be like a battery operated light. It's like £19 or something.

And it's... It'll just attach to the wood. I think it's got like a little attachment thing. Which means I'll be able to see... You know, just be able to see... Not see myself.

I'm not going to be doing my eyebrows while I'm doing a recording. But just, you know, so there's light in there really. But then one thing that I've noticed... Because I have actually made... A few recordings when I first got it.

That's before Andre decided to... Like basically he's taken it for himself. He's moved in. Andre has.

Honestly, I couldn't believe it. He's... I looked in there today and he's got his little snake in there. Which he's moved from the living room... All the way into the shed.

So I don't know what else he's brought in there. But that snake is a big pink and white snake. It's a lot longer than him.

And he... It squeaks. Like I can kind of see... It's got a little squeaky thing inside it. He does not like me touching it.

Really. It's the only thing... It's not the only thing. I mean he doesn't really like me touching his toys.

But that's the one thing that he's really possessive about. So if I touch it and I kind of play with it... He'll grab it off me. And he'll run into another room with it.

And he'll hide it. Isn't that weird? So I kind of... Me and my friend, we sort of... Decided that it must be like a... His child. You know, like a... He thinks of it like it's his baby or something.

And he doesn't... He doesn't use it in the same way that he uses some of the other stuff that he uses. That's a bit of a vague one but... He does certain things with other toys. Teddies, with my slipper.

But he doesn't use the snake for that. So I think it's... It's his family. It's his... He's very possessive about it.

He hides it. He doesn't just leave it... On the floor. Anywhere.

He always puts it somewhere. Really safe. Hides it behind something.

Like underneath the chair or behind the... Behind the door. So it can't be seen. Or... You know, he'd get it under the bed if he could probably.

So he always does that. Sometimes he puts it in the kitchen. But now it's in the... It's in the shed.

And that's where he stays. He doesn't stay there. He's now... Spending more time in the bedroom.

Which is kind of normal this time of year actually. He... He goes through periods when he spends a lot of time in bed. In my bed.

And he's doing that quite a lot. But he sort of seems to be moving from my bed to the shed. And... Comes into the living room.

Has something to eat. Has something to drink. Maybe have a play, you know.

He likes to do a circulation of the flat. Likes to do a patrol. So he will.

He'll run to the front door. Check. Then run into the bathroom.

Look in there. Then he'll come out of the bathroom. Run into the kitchen.

Just check. And then run into the living room and check. Then he'll run back into the bedroom.

Back onto the bed. Or back into the shed. He just does a little survey.

Just to make sure that everything's okay. Because this is his home, isn't it? I'm the lodger. Yet again.

So he's... What I've done is... I got a television bracket for the wall. I bought it a while back. And... I also got some... I put a TV bracket.

I've done that. So I put the telly on the wall now. It's way too high.

I'm kind of looking up. But... It's supposed to be good for you to look up. Rather than to look down.

Before I was looking down. Because... I didn't have the TV flat on the floor. That would have been weird.

It's alright. It's face up. I know.

That'd be strange. But the TV's now kind of nearer the ceiling. Than perhaps it should be.

So I might look at maybe reducing it down a little bit. Maybe... A foot. But... I'm happy.

I'm happy it's on the wall. Because now... I've freed up all that space where the TV was. Now Andre has extra space to play.

Which I think is... It's got to be a good thing. And... I've moved... For... Four big black... Bookcases. And I've moved them.

So I've been moving stuff around. Between the bedroom and from the other side of this room. So I've now got... Four bookcases.

Two on one wall. Two on the other wall. So it's kind of in a... Not an L shape.

But you know like... Two going to the corner. And the other two coming from the other corner. And then I've got a little bookcase just underneath the... Plug socket.

Where I can charge my phone and... The Kindle and stuff like that. So the other side of the room... Is completely bare now. Well it will be when I tidy up.

It's not... There's still lots of... Stuff on the floor. That this needs tidying. It's not really messy but a little bit.

But the wall is completely bare. There's nothing there. Not even a tear.

As I stare. Eating a pear. So yeah it's quite nice.

I think it's because... See with the bedroom... I don't like clutter. And I've now got a shed in my bedroom. Which is... The opposite to not having clutter.

I've basically... I've reduced the bedroom size by one third. But at the same time... I'm quite lucky to have a bedroom that's big enough... To fit three garden sheds in. Or to fit three double beds in.

If that makes... You know it's... So I shouldn't really complain. I'm not complaining. I'm just noticing that... With the shed... It's a lot longer than it needs to be.

I didn't think I'd ever say that out loud. It's... It's really... It's... The length of it could be halved. I think.

And I'd still have enough room... To do it. All I need is just to sit there. I suppose because it is a bit longer... It doesn't feel quite as cramped.

Because the sides of it... There's a chair in there. And there's not really much room either side of the chair. So the sides... It's only... I think it's three foot... Wide.

Six foot long. I think. So if it was three foot... By three foot... I don't think that would be enough.

I'd need at least four foot. Which is not really enough. Wide ways.

Literally it's just... I can't... Spread the way I do with this chair. This chair wouldn't fit in there. This chair's way too big.

But... If this chair didn't squeak... I'd be very comfortable... Sitting in this chair making recordings. Although I am sitting in this chair making a recording now. And I do feel quite comfortable.

So it's kind of... I don't know what that's about. Some feel like it's... It's one of those chairs where... It's fine as long as you don't move. But if you move... Then it creaks.

Very much like... My skeletal system these days. Very creaky. Creaky, creaky.

I'd like... I do hope to get a new chair at some point. But so many things I need to get for this flat. I need a new carpet.

Because... I know I keep blaming Andre for everything but... I'm not the one that ripped up the carpet. You know, I didn't chew the carpet up. I can't blame myself for that.

You know, I don't want to blame him. But... He has... He ruined the carpet. And... You know what? I'd do it all again.

For that little boy. It's... It's definitely improved my life. So... So what if I have to get a new carpet every few years? So that... I'm going to aim next year... To buy a new carpet.

But I don't think I'm going to be able to do it all in one go like I did last time. Because I spent £600... And it was discounted as well. So they said.

And they did the bedroom, living room and hallway... For £600. I think it was... It might have been a little bit more but it was about £600. And that was four... Four and a half years ago.

Was it April? May? Yeah, four and a half years ago. So if I get a when... Of course this might be... I might try and get a loan from the social... From the benefits people. And get a loan to do to get a new carpet but... I'd need at least £1000 I reckon.

But what I want to do, I want to get... A really thick soundproofed carpet. Just so... So that downstairs can't hear me and so I can't hear downstairs. I'm really lucky I've got the best neighbour.

It's very, very quiet. And I do wonder if I can be heard. I mean apart from when I'm drilling the walls and stuff.

But that's... Which I was today. But that's not a regular occurrence with me. You know.

Any DIY I get up to, she's probably not going to hear. And I just think that... It'd be nice to prepare. Because you never know who you're going to end up with.

Like a neighbour. She, you know... The neighbour downstairs may move out. And I might end up with someone with a... Like a drum kit or something down there.

Which would... So... I need to kind of prepare for that beforehand. So that I can make sure that... It... It's quiet. Also so that I'm quiet as well.

Because I started... Well, I took my ukulele out of the box the other day. And I tuned it. Tuned it.

It's only got four strings but... It was very out of tune. But I've got a tuner. Which I bought... Probably a couple of months ago now.

I've had the ukulele since the summer. And I've taken it out of the box three times now. It's now on top of the bookcase.

It was in the bedroom. On top of the bookcase. Now it's in the living room.

On top of the bookcase. I'm not sure if... I don't know. I've got a bit of an aversion to... I don't think I've got... I've not really got big fingers.

I haven't got sausage fingers, you know. But I haven't got tiny fingers either. So... I struggle a little bit with the chords.

When there's more than three strings being pressed at the same time. It's a little bit... It's just practice. I know that all it is is practice.

I do. I know that. I used to play the violin when I was a kid.

Used to play the bugle. Used to play the drums. Used to play the glocking spill.

Used to play the bagpipes. No, I didn't. But... Oh man, I would love to have played the bagpipes.

It looks... It looks so complicated. It is. Isn't it? Yeah, it was way too complicated.

Because you breathe in, but then you don't breathe in and you breathe out. And it's like, wow. The bugle is the easiest... One of the easiest instruments to play.

Because... There's no... Like with a trumpet, you know, you press down on the knobs. So there's no knob action at all with the... With the bugle. You're literally just holding the end.

And you're almost spitting into it. It sounds a little bit dirty, but it's... It's like... Like that, into the mouthpiece. That's why... You can share a bugle with someone, but you don't share the mouthpiece.

You know, you definitely keep your own mouthpiece to yourself. And you take it out when you're not using it. In case someone else grabs your bugle and starts blowing on it.

Because you don't want someone else's spit on... On your instrument, you know? So I... I quite liked playing the bugle. Because... I think really all you need for a bugle, you need to be able to have... A sense of... What's the right word? Be able to be in tune. So you have to be able to be in tune.

So... You need to be able to hear a tune. Hear a chord. Doesn't matter what the chord's called, because that makes no difference.

Because you learn the bugle by listening to other people do it. And you do what they do. So one of the tunes with... Because I was in the Sea Cadets.

And it was... So you just do that. You just hear it. And you go... That's not a very good example, but... But it's easy, as long as you can... Tune your ears... To do exactly what the other person is doing.

And... I don't know, either I had... A good ear for a tune. You know, an in-tune ear, let's say. Or, that helped me to have an in-tune ear by practicing.

But years before that, I was playing the violin. So I guess... I used to be able to read music. Can you believe it? I used to be able to read music and play the violin... Whilst looking at the sheet of music.

I had no idea what it said. But I'd learn... I'd just look at it anyway. And I'd turn it over when the other person did.

But I'd memorise the tune. I think it was just twinkle, twinkle little star, but... That's not the point. I remember I actually... See, my brain is a little bit modelled up.

Just generally, but... The memory... My memory... Is... I had... Violin lessons. In junior school. For probably... For a year, maybe two years, I don't know.

But I used to have lessons. Not like lessons in school. But actually private, one-to-one lessons.

During break time. Once or twice a week. It'd be taken up by half my lunch hour, or whatever.

And then I had to practice. And then... The choir would get together, and you know, all that stuff. And the band, and we'd all play together.

So... But my memory... Of being on stage... Doing... It was me and another kid. Playing the violin together. So we had to do it in harmony.

And... Do it at the same time, rather. I wasn't kind of... Harmonising. You know, like doing a different tune, but like... I wasn't going... Mmm... That's my impression of a violin.

Being harmonious. So I... My memory of doing this... Recital, this... Violin recital, was in high school. And my parents came along and watched it.

For some reason. So I'm very confused about what is actually... Real, and what wasn't. I knew what was real then, but I can't remember because it's... Such a long time ago.

You know... You think, I was... It's 40 years ago that I was doing violin lessons. When I was like 9. 40 years! Ridiculous, isn't it? I'm nearly halfway through my life. Can you believe that? So, wow.

And, what other things? What other lies can I tell? Yeah, I just have this memory... Of going in... The front... One of the doors... There's different entrances to the high school. But one entrance to the high school... Was... A door you go through. They're handy, aren't they, for that? And one of many doors in that building.

It's a very old school. Very old. And it goes... And directly ahead was the assembly room.

For the whole school. That was a bit whistly, wasn't it? Whole school. It was the assembly room.

And it held everybody. The whole... I don't know how many hundreds. It wasn't that many.

It couldn't have been more than a couple of hundred... People. Maybe 300 kids. It wasn't like a huge... There was another high school that had a lot more.

It was a lot bigger. A lot more kids and stuff. Because I used to go there and do karate.

On Tuesday and Thursday evenings. When I was about 14. Or from 14 to... 15.

For a couple of years, anyway. From 14 till I left school... Was it 13? Again, I lose track. I lose track.

So I kind of got to know some of the... I got to know some of the kids in Orwell. Which is what it was called. And some of the kids in my school.

High school. But also because I went to three different junior schools. I kind of lost contact with a lot of them.

I actually had already been to school. With most of the kids my age. In junior school.

It just... It had been a couple of years earlier. So they'd probably forgotten me. So I kind of had my... Had a foot in each camp.

Well, I had more than a foot in my own school. Plus both my older brothers went to the other school. The other high school.

So I kind of... Plus, plus, plus, plus. I was in the Sea Cadets. There was loads of kids from the other school there as well.

When I was 12. And... I had a paper round. So I got to know other kids that were at that school.

The Karate Club. There was kids that were from that school as well. It was, you know, you just get to know different people, innit? In fact, there was... Kids... That just were in my road.

Actually no, they all went to my school. Doesn't make sense. The only reason I had to go to my school.

Is because... Of the road I lived in. Because I lived near town. Right? That's the logic.

That's, that's the logic. Yet my older brothers both lived in the same house. In the same road.

And they went to a different school. I wanted to go to the school where my brothers were. But no... Had to do high school on my own.

Not on my own, I mean there were other people there. It's quite a weird school. So all those friends I made.

Well not made, I don't know. But that I got to know people. Kids.

In... You know, I was about eight. So between... Yeah, probably eight and nine. So for about a year.

I was going to a junior school. Which was just up the road from my school. From where I lived.

It was where my nan and grandad lived. After us. And then we moved.

And then I went to a whole... A different school. Which... Was actually further away. From the new place we moved to.

It was further away. It was literally... You needed a plane to get there. Which is another lie.

But it's a long walk. And I only had little legs. But it was what a heck of a walk.

So all those friends that I made. I did have some friends. I was thinking it.

I actually... Earlier today. My best friend. I had two best friends really.

Well I had a group of friends. But... When we moved. When I first moved from the children's home.

I stayed with my... Stepmum's mother. We all kind of... All of us stayed there. In this big white house.

But then... We had to move out for whatever reason. And I think the house was... It was just derelict or something. It wasn't... I don't remember.

I wasn't that interested. I think... I think I'd got a copy of... The Dandy comic. And I wanted to read that.

I think I was looking at the cover when I was being told... The reason we were moving. So I didn't really grasp it. But we moved.

And... Not with her. Not with the grandmother. Not with her mum.

She moved to a lovely flat. In this big block of flats. It was not a big... Well I suppose it was quite a big block.

And she moved there. And she was right on the... Face in it. There was this big slope going up.

Loads of spaces for parking. And also downstairs. Those garages.

Places to gain spaces for parking. You could... On the left hand side if you go up. If you go underneath the arch.

Or you know. There's all these garages. She had a garage.

And there's the stairs on the left. And there's the lift on the right. I think there was the bin room as well.

I never needed to go in there really. I stood in there once for about 10 minutes. And then realised there was no point.

So I just... Actually I realised it wasn't the lift. So I went into the lift. This is the elevator.

And... I used to use the stairs more often. Because I preferred it. So... I don't know how many floors there were.

One, two... It wasn't like really big. I think like six floors. Yeah, about six floors.

It wasn't... But it's lovely, really nice flats. I say that like I didn't see any of the other flats. I saw one.

Which was hers. But it was very nice. And... If you go up the slope... It's the same.

You know, sort of there's the stairs and... There's the lift on the right. And she lived right on the corner. Facing it.

Right at the very top on the left hand side. She lived in that flat. But it's very wide.

So that was... I think it might have been more than six floors. It might have been eight or ten up. I'm pretty sure it was six.

But it's very wide. So there was probably... I don't know, eight flats along. Maybe more.

Maybe ten. And then either side of it. So there's quite a few flats.

And it was all council. Like council flats. And really nice.

Really. I mean even... I'd be very happy to live in a place like that. I mean it's... You know, I don't need a place that size.

I'd end up paying bedroom tax. But... It's a heck of a lot bigger than this. And I've got a fairly good size flat.

But I suppose because it had two bedrooms... The living room would be bigger, wouldn't it? Because there'd be more people. So you need more... Well, the living room... In my memory, the living room was about the size of my living room. But then there was... Like another bit which is where the eating area was.

I don't know. I'm not sure but... That's where she lived. And... We moved into a council house.

Which was a three-bedroomed council house. Tiny little box room. Which is where I slept.

And... I say tiny, it wasn't big. But it was big enough for a bed and stuff. And then when everyone moved out, my nan still had it.

And she had a... Like a single bed and sometimes I'd sleep in there. And it was, well, big enough for, you know, to sleep in. And... Two bedrooms that were quite big.

Bathroom and stuff. So we lived in there. Not much.

My two brothers and myself. And the parents. So we were there.

At the time... It was a new build. I didn't know that term then but... Basically it was a new built house. And a lot of the area on that council estate was still being built.

It was basically a building site. And it was built in an area that was countryside. So there was lots of like foresty areas around.

So... Me and the other kids... I guess we... I suppose we knew each other from school, I'm not sure. But there was a lot of kids sort of on the estate. And we used to go out exploring.

And, you know, making bow and arrows. And having spears and having sword fights. Stuff like that.

And it was quite cool because there was quite a few of us. We used to spend time with each other. And... My two best friends sort of were in that road.

I've always been lazy that way. My best friend lives downstairs, I can't be bothered to travel. And... One was called... Andrew.

And... He only had one kidney, I think. So he was... I had to spend a lot of time off school. So he was in the same year as me and stuff like that.

And... So I used to go around his house and see him. But I didn't see him too often at school. Because he was... He was poorly, you know.

And... My other friend... Was called Ian. I even remember his surname, which is weird. It came to me like in a dream.

That's a bit strange, isn't it? And he was my best friend. And he... His birthday was exactly the same day as my birthday. How about that then, eh? So we were both exactly the same age.

Born exactly the same day of the year. You know, exactly the same age. Now... He ended up, because I moved... I lived there when I was about seven and a half.

And then when I was eight, my little brother was born. And... Yeah, literally, sort of my eighth birthday, pretty much. And I think we lived there probably for another... Six months, maybe longer.

Because I'm pretty sure I started school at nine. At the new junior school. So I carried on at school.

All the way through... That year. Yeah, that makes sense, wouldn't it? So I was at that school for about a year and a half. Pretty much.

And I kind of got to know people. And my friend, who was Ian... He... Went to a different school to me then, because I moved. And I kind of kept in touch a little bit.

Which is weird, it shouldn't really be that difficult, because it was a tiny little town, really. But... We moved near the town centre. Which was handy.

Especially if you need to go to the off-licence and stuff. Which I didn't, because I was nine. But, you know, I'm just saying, it's handy to be in the town centre.

Literally, at the end of our road was the sea. Well, it wasn't at the end of the road, but it was the end of the road. And then down a lot of steps.

And then across the road. Across the prom. And then down to the beach.

So, you know, but... You could see the beach. You could see the sea, rather. You couldn't see the beach from my house.

You couldn't see the sea from my house. But if you started to walk up, you could see the sea. In the distance, you know? Which was quite nice.

So my friend Ian... So I left his school. And for the next two years... Nine... And ten... We were at different junior schools. And then when he started his school... He was the youngest one... In his high school.

And when I started, I was the youngest one in my high school. Because we were only eleven when we started. And a lot of the other kids... We'd only just turned eleven.

And a lot of the other kids were nearly twelve. But I kept in contact a little bit... With Ian and with Andrew. Because my nan and gran had moved into the house... That we'd moved out of.

And... I used to sort of... Go and see Andrew. Because he wasn't too well. So I used to sort of check up and... My nan would tell me, oh he's not doing too great.

Or it's his birthday. Because she used to get on really well with the family. And... I kind of lost contact with Andrew.

Which was a shame because his dad was brilliant. We used to... His dad used to take me and him out. Sort of into the fields and... Go for long walks.

I think he might have had a dog. I'm not sure. But that used to be quite nice.

You know, just to get away from... My family. Just like brothers. Because there's always... There's a lot of arguments.

You know, just like brothers do. So it's quite nice to get away from that. And just... Relax.

Also, my little brother was a baby. So he was always crying and... Pooing everywhere. So it was like, oh... Almost like having a ferret.

And I just... It used to be nice to go for these long walks. With my friend and his dad. It was quite nice.

His dad was so relaxed. You know, just really calm. Which was nice.

I like calmness. Relaxation. Yeah.

And the other thing I did today is... Is... I put up two coat racks. Or... Not coat racks. Like for... Clothes.

Clothes racks. But they're attached to the wall. And I bought them quite a while ago.

And I've been waiting to get help. To put them up. But today I decided to do it myself.

Oh yeah. That's what I did. I had a little bit of help with one of them.

But I did the second one all by myself. And I put the... I put the TV up all by myself on the thing. It feels nice.

So I'm going to get two more... Of the clothes racks. So I can put more clothes on. And... That's freed a whole space... On the floor as well.

There's more space for Andre and... I don't know. I just... I quite like the... I kind of like the shed to be gone. I kind of.

A little bit. Just for the space aspect of it. But once it's done and once it's soundproofed... It should be pretty cool.

But I like the... I've got some white... I've got one whiteboard. One big whiteboard. Which is in the kitchen at the moment.

But I'm going to have that attached to the wall. The other wall opposite. Which is all clear.

And I'm going to get a few whiteboards. And I can start writing ideas down. For new recordings and... Not these recordings.

But sort of the other stuff. And maybe... If I... Put my mind to it and actually... Do write a book or two. Start to plan... The book.

Plan what I'm going to write about. I really don't know. Anyway.

I think that's enough for me. For one night. So thank you for listening.

Remember to be kind to yourself. Because you do deserve to be happy. You do deserve to be happy.

Lots of love. Bye.