#247 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (31st October 2019)

Hello and welcome to Jason Newland not dot com. I nearly said not com. Dot com.

My name is Jason Newland. I've still got a little bit of a cough. So I'm very behind on my new timetable.

I do apologize. But I just last night I was gonna make a recording but I was so tired and I just ended up going to sleep. So, and it's, it's not very easy to make a recording during the day, because it might be quiet.

Then I kind of expecting some sounds to arise, which is just normal. Because it's daytime people are doing things. So I'm not going to moan about it.

But what I normally say, oh yeah, only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes. This is let me bore you to sleep. See, everything's in the wrong order.

So I've got this new timetable. I've even written on a board. I've got a page on my website.

You know, I tried to make all official ish. And if you know me, you know that official isn't really my, my game. I don't really do official things.

I like to like the creativity, the flexibility to just do as and when I feel like it really. So I'm thinking of getting rid of the timetable. So I might actually make more recordings that way.

I'm not sure. However, at the moment, the timetable stands at Monday sleep hypnosis weekly. I want to try and stick to that one because it's called sleep hypnosis weekly.

Sometimes they go two weeks without doing one. So that's not good. And what's Tuesday? Deep sleep whisper hypnosis.

Wednesday is relaxation hypnosis for stress, anxiety, panic attacks. Thursday is let me bore you to sleep, which is what I'm doing now. Although it's now Friday, but don't tell anyone.

Friday is Wednesday, I suppose. Is it deep sleep whisper again, isn't it? Deep sleep whisper hypnosis Saturday would be, I don't know, but it's one of them. Um, isn't it really weird? It's only seven days to remember, but it took me about six or seven years to learn the days of the week.

So I shouldn't give myself too much of a hard time. I've only had about five days to learn it. The new timetable.

When I was at school, right, and I did go to school, we used to have timetables. And every year, at the beginning of the year, because I was at high school for five years. Well, I had, yeah, five years.

So from, I was in 1981 was my first year. So that's September 1981, that started September 1982, my second year of high school. So I was 12, 11 for the first year, 12 for the second year.

I only just turned 12. So when I was at high school, some of the other children, um, we were all, so when we first started the first year, most of us would have been at the end of August, we'd all have been the same age as far as like 11, but come September, some of the other kids were 12 before they even got to high school. And then they were turning 12 in September, October, November.

I had to wait all the way to the end of August before I was 12. It wasn't fair. So I was the youngest.

I'm not sure if I was the youngest in the whole school because I didn't do a survey, but I'm pretty sure I did. I did ask around. I did.

I did have a little, a little, uh, okay. I did do a survey. I did a survey and I was the youngest.

They're happy. I did a survey. I didn't want to really go into it, but I did, did some research and I was the youngest in my year.

So in, uh, when I first joined high school, at 11, I was the youngest person in that school, apart from the tortoise that was in one of the classrooms. But mind you, that tortoise might have been older than me, mightn't it? Who knows? Hmm. And I, the third year I was 13, just before, so I was, I was born 26th of August.

That's my birthday for those that want to send me birthday presents and cards. And because I only got, I think I got three birthday cards last year, last year, this year, this year, what was it for? I got one from my dad, still got them up on the thing. One from my dad from parents, one from my little brother and one from another friend, which would be Diasar.

Yeah. So I had three birthday cards and you know what's weird? Honestly, I got a text or it might be an email wishing me a happy birthday. From my dentist.

Seriously, my dentist remembered my birthday and took the effort to send me an email, but no one else. I was like, wow, apart from those three, is it three or four? Three? Well, yeah, three, but I'm not moaning. Well, I am, aren't I really? I'm moaning.

I'm moaning. To be fair though, I do get hundreds and hundreds of birthday wishes on Facebook. So that's nice.

But the physical cards, I'd like to have some physical cards. And the reason I say that is because I got a physical card today. So this recording is dedicated, it almost sounds like it's a bereavement, doesn't it? Dedicated to a flourishing lady called Molly.

And I just want to thank Molly right now for sending me my very first Christmas card. And I don't mean ever. I, you know, I have had Christmas cards in the past.

They're also still up. I got, well, I got four last year. So this is a happy Christmas from Australia.

It's right here. And there's a little kangaroo, teddy bear. It's the cutest little thing, it's a koala bear.

It's got little boots on. It's very happy. It looks a bit like me with his little belly, like it's holding his belly.

But kind of content, you know, kind of happy. Like cuddly, someone you want to cuddle. Just like me.

Big ears, just like me. And so this is my first Christmas card, or any card. No, it's not the first card, but it's the first Christmas card.

Is it the first Christmas card? Let me think. No, I did get a Christmas card. And I have had another card.

So I've had a couple of people send me cards in the past, but we're talking over nearly 14 years. So it's only happened a couple of times. So this is pretty sure this is the first Christmas card I've ever received in the post from someone that listens to my recordings.

I don't want to use the word fan or follower. It sounds a bit, you know what I mean, a bit kind of weird. Stalker? No.

Appreciator. That's a nice word, isn't it? Appreciator. Something that appreciates what I do.

And Molly, I really appreciate you for this card. And you do say that you don't imagine that I would be able to resist opening the present. And I didn't.

I did. I did open a present. Well, it was two presents.

So actually it was this morning. I got a knock on the door and it was a post lady. And she handed me a parcel.

And I thought, uh, I didn't know women were allowed to do that job. I'm joking. I said, uh, I really didn't.

I wasn't expecting anything. Because I've literally spent the last week waiting for deliveries, things that I've purchased, uh, for the flat, trying to do some DIY. Um, it's, uh, not really sure how to explain it, but it's not, it's just not, it's just, it's just not really, not really happening.

Not really happening. But it's anyway, that's another situation. And so I've got these tools and I've got all these little bits that I've been getting and, and I've asked my dad to help me out, to show me how to do it.

Cause I just don't know. It's, I just, I don't know what goes in which hole, honestly. And I like to say it's the first time I've been in that situation, but I've never been much good at drilling and, you know, those kinds of things.

And anyway, Molly, thank you very much. So I did, I've got this parcel and I thought, what on earth is that? And also had some letters as well. And one of the letters, letters, one of the letters is telling me that I'm having my front door replaced.

So I've got a date for that. I'm having my front door replaced for a brand new, it'd be silly if it wasn't new, wouldn't it? I replaced it with, you know, a bit of cardboard or something that wouldn't really be ideal. But it's, it's going to be replaced.

But they came along and said, yes, we're replacing it. What are you replacing it with? This new fangled, invisible door. It's amazing.

You can't see it. Honestly, it's absolutely wonderful. The good thing about it is if someone is at your front door and they knock, ring the doorbell, you can actually go and you can see them.

You haven't even got to look through the peephole. You can just see them there, the whole of them. It's very high tech.

Oh, okay. Excellent. Yeah.

So I take my door away then. Great. Thank you.

And what about the key? That's the good thing about it. You don't need a key. You never have to open it.

You never have to close it. It detects when you're coming through and the force field just removes itself so you can walk through it. Absolutely fantastic technology.

Oh, okay. Yeah, great. Yeah.

Can I speak to a supervisor, please? You know what I did the other day? I was on a bus. I might have mentioned this. I don't know, but in my last recording, I was on a bus and I was waiting.

I was just on a bus, just sitting there. The bus was moving along. Boom, boom, all that.

Quite a busy bus. It's half term. No, it's not half term.

It's... or is it half term? Yeah, it must be half term because it's not Christmas. So it's half term and it's Halloween. So we had half term this week for whatever reason, like for the children.

And the buses were busy at times and I had to go into town a couple of times this week. And so anyway, there was a busy bus. I got a phone call.

I got my headphones in. I got a phone call come through. So I look at my phone and it's just a number.

I mean, I don't recognise the number, but I answer it. I'm a good guy, you know. I answered it.

And it's someone saying, hello. I said, yeah, hello. It said, we're calling about the accident you're involved in.

So this is a scam straight away. They're basically randomly calling people out of a phone book or a list or computer system just dials a number for them. I've worked in that environment, unfortunately, in the past and a long time ago, not scams, but the same kind of phoning system.

But this is, you know, phoning someone randomly, but not to ask them if they've had an accident, but to talk to them about the accident they've had, assuming they have, is enticing someone to who knows what. Anyway, I said, I think I said a little bit too loud because I have my headphones in. I said, sorry, I can't talk at the moment.

I'm on the toilet doing a massive poo. Bye. And so I just hung up.

And there was this lad in front of me and he just started laughing. Now, I don't think he heard me say I'm on the toilet. I think he just said, I can't talk right now.

I'm doing a massive poo. He thought I was doing it on the bus or something. And I said, I think at the end also said, yeah, sorry about that.

Speak to you soon. Bye dad. Or something like that at the end of the conversation.

And he couldn't stop laughing. And he says, so that was a bit weird because I always do that. If I get a phone call from someone trying to sell me something, um, I just make something up.

It's just standard, isn't it? Because some people are rude to people that do cold calling. I don't, I'm not rude to them because I've done cold calling. I know that it's a hard, very, very hard job.

So I, I'm not rude to people, but I will say silly things to them until they hang up. So at the very least they've had a little bit of entertainment rather than people being rude to them because they do. Anyone that does cold calling has nonstop rude people.

It's just how it is. That's the, that's the name of the game, unfortunately. And, uh, although I, the last time I did cold calling was in 2001 and it was selling mobile phone contracts for orange.

I think it was not orange, not orange is the fruit. That was a, oh, I've got an itchy crotch. Wait a sec.

And I, yeah, so I had this job and it's basically reading a script and it's very weird, uh, interesting as well environment because it was a job that everybody knew they could lose anytime. Yeah. There was no job stability at all because of the nature of the job.

Had to get a certain amount of people say yes, um, to the contract. So they did, they get a brand new phone for free, but then it'd be signed into a contract for a year or two years or something like that. And they get the latest Nokia 400, whatever it was at the time.

And at that time it was quite a new thing for the vote and phones to vibrate. It was like a new thing. And the internet was, what was it? WAP, WAP, W-A-P.

And it took about 10 minutes for a picture to upload. It was awful. The internet was really, really bad on mobiles back then.

And mobiles were going through a period where the smaller the phone it was, the better. Like they just made them as tiny as possible. And, but at the same time, they had people that were using them for business.

So I think you had the BlackBerry. I think the BlackBerry was around at that point, but I didn't get my first BlackBerry till 2007, I think. And it was just, I used to see in London, I used to see Dorman and these big tough men pull out the phone, it'd be going, do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do, whatever it was, the old Nokia tune.

And they'll pick it out and they'd literally be holding it between their thumb and their finger like trying to pull the little lid up hello who is it what do you want the tiny little phone it was funny honestly I'm sure I saw someone pick it up and it was so strong it accidentally pushed his finger and thumb together and the thing just turned to dust the phone just evaporated it was untrue so I set this script that we have staff to say to people you know call in the call in on behalf of orange

got his contract and it's really groovy and he should have this phone because it's a really good phone what kind of fun have you got but it doesn't do what this phone does this one vibrates yeah vibrates you can kiss it it's a very lovely kisser and it's decided I just had things we had to say now I I played around with the script and I created a script that worked so that I got more people saying yes then the others and so what I did is I kind of figured out how what was working

what wasn't working and after about a month I was number two on the sales board out of wasn't that many people working there but probably 40 45 50 I don't know 10 20 30 maybe 40 or 50 so I was number two on the list the top of the list of sellers but what was different between me and the other people is I wasn't selling as many but I wasn't getting people returning them so the top seller should see get 50% of her phones returned because I had no idea what they was thought they were

buying what they were saying yes to all the news I think they just like talking to her I don't know well she was very convincing but for whatever reason was I mean to be fair I don't know what effort she put in because she used to be reading books and everything while she was doing the job at the same time but she was a top seller and so she was really good what she was doing yet she had 50% of her sales 50% of the phones returned and she was still the top seller so just

shows how good she was but I had very few of my phones sent back and they couldn't figure out how they were trying to kept listening to me and thinking how how come you're not getting the phone sent back I said because I'm groovy and they said no really how you actually called me in the boss called me in why why aren't people send it's like it wasn't like it was more case of why aren't people sending the phones back they were surprised so why would they send them back they're good phones so I kind

of it's as if I was the only one I actually believed in the product there were good phones they were top at the time top of the range and the contracts are pretty good as well really for the time I knew I was kind of quite into phones back then because I owned a few I think by that point let's have a quick drink bam it's quite good the cough goes after a talking for a while which is nice so I got no idea how I got on to talking about selling mobile phone contracts but

anyway very strange company it was in Romford not Romford it was in Romford it was near Romford something Hill not Romford Hill I think it was just past Romford it was a hospital nearby so I used to go there and have my dinner sometimes and Harold Wood Harold Wood that'd be the right Harold Wood possibly because I went I've been there previously I think it's Harold Wood I was there before because I had I was dating a Spanish girl who was an au pair there in the hospital grounds she she was an au pair for

a doctor that lived in the grounds of the hospital so I've been there before Harold Wood sure it was and it was a train station which is handy because it was a long walk otherwise and I used to get that train from it's really weird I can never remember the name of this this train station only 16 people a day use it but it's still there it's between Forest Gate and Stratford Maryland station that's it Maryland and if I'm correct I used to get the train but it used to go the opposite way so it

didn't go towards Stratford because that would have led to Liverpool Street went the opposite way so I went through Forest Gate and then I'm not sure about all the different stops but went through Ilford and Romford and then to Harold Wood is that the right place and I was there and it's a little bit of a walk to to the job to the office but it wasn't a long walk probably about 15 minute walk from the train station and the person that I was what was his name because I started with one person we trained

together the training was I think it was probably half a day's training to be fair wasn't I can't believe this I put these new socks right I'm talking new last week or the week before there's a massive hole in the heel of them I can't believe it six pairs for a pound you'd expect quality wouldn't you it's a massive hole in the heel I've only worn them twice I mean I washed them and then worn them again and I got two packs of these they weren't a pound actually they were for £4.

99 for three pairs of socks they're supposed to be 14 pound apparently that's what it said on the back of the box so I had six pairs of socks so these ones I've sort of worn them all washed some of them and now I'm wearing these and there's a hole in them I ask you I don't understand where's the pride in sock making these days where's it gone I remember years ago you buy a pair of socks it lasts it lasts more than two weeks unless my feet are just so stinky they just dissolve the

material I don't think that's the case I'm not saying I've my feet are perfect or anything but I don't think they particularly no I'm not talking about my feet my feet are lovely lovely feet I don't know if they're lovely they're feet just yeah they're just feet but I can't believe that some things are just unbelievable don't you think a hole in my socks I should let it go I understand that but I'm struggling with it I really didn't expect that things are easier when you kind of prepare for them that I was not prepared

for and it just comes a bit of a shock whilst I'm actually making this recording I didn't see it coming I need to do some relaxing exercises so I did some weird phone calls in that job one of the weirdest phone calls I think I did was I phoned someone up and I said you know I used to get quite to the point like I'm phoning on behalf of a whatever it was orange I said I'm phoning to offer you a free phone and the man who I spoke to on the phone said oh okay

can you wait a sec and they went muffled and he said listen can you phone me back in a couple of hours I'm just burying me bro I'm burying me brother it was at his brother's funeral and he and he hung up now I don't know if he was doing what I do to people to phone me well actually he wasn't because I did phone him up and he did take the phone but that's the kind of thing that I would say to someone possibly not usually funerals but you know do some big long convoluted

pointless story I know it's hard to believe that I would do anything like that but sometimes I do sometimes well I think I like some of the people were funny that I worked with there was one bloke and he was so menacing on the phone I think he well I don't think he did he scared people into accepting the phone but he didn't do it in a he didn't threaten them he just the way he spoke yeah it was like I'll phone from phone from from I don't know where the orange we've got a new

phone with a contract it's a Nokia 624 miniature blah blah well I need your account number and sort code okay there you go I think it would I think he'd say I'm sending you I'm sending you a free phone and it was just like wow I couldn't quite imagine doing that really but he was he got he had a lot of success with it and what other ones did we have there was a flirty lady young lady there with me and because I used to move around different tables and I don't know why they used

to just move me around I think it was because of the farting I just didn't they they kept I think they thought it was a fart there's a weird smell seems to follow in that Jason farty Jason and they there was this I say young I was what was I I was 13 at the time so it was the it was a summer 2001 so probably May June time and so I was well I was whistly wasn't I I was 30 and there was this young girl there she was probably about honestly I don't know

maybe 18 I really couldn't tell you how old she was but she's one of those flirtiest young things in a workplace that I've known I've known a few but she was really I can't tell you what she was doing but I was just like I didn't know what to do with myself and then her dad would pick her up and he looked younger than me you pick her up from work in his van and honestly look younger than I was so ah so it's just but she's very funny but yeah I said I should move

on but it's one of those I don't know why I just remember it I can't remember it in that there's a few things I remember about that office one was it was incredibly hot and they had these extractor fans that were like these portable extractor fans that they'd stick out the window and they looked like they could fall out and hit someone on the head they really you when you when we went outside at break time no one sat underneath them because they looked so unsteady you know the other thing I remember is walking in

on the morning and seeing my name number two on the sales list on the top sellers like that felt nice and the reason it's not yeah it's ego but it's not just that I spent from 1988 all the way through the 90s reading sales books can you believe it I actually had an aspiration to be a salesperson to sell to make lots of money which never happened the money bit didn't happen but it's just I used to read these sales books because I used to do window double glazing canvassing knocking on people's doors when I

was 18 and I was it sounds like I'm just bragging doesn't it saying how good I was at stuff I think I spent enough time saying how rubbish I was at stuff as well haven't I in these recordings I think I'm allowed to say a few nice things about myself but I was quite I think I was quite successful at that and just knock on people's doors and we was working what was I doing put the most I'd ever earned in a week at that point I was 18 1989 it was I was 18 it

was in the summer so I was earning more a week than I'd ever earned before and I was doing less hours than I'd ever done before so I was starting working probably about four in the afternoon maybe five till about eight that was my hours Monday to Friday sometimes we do a Saturday morning and that's all the hours I did and we were getting not just the the basic so it worked out I was getting about 25 pound an hour and but we were also getting 25 and that's not right is it that's an exaggeration

6 7 8 5 so 3 6 9 12 15 it's about 15 hours a week I was working we didn't do Saturday mornings Saturday was every now and then so 15 hours a week we'll get paid extra for Saturday and we were getting paid for six hours I think a day so I think I was earning 150 120 a week maybe basic maybe 150 120 60 which isn't a lot of money so 6 15 what does that work out at 15 120 times by 15 or divided by 15 so 10 hours is 12 pound an

hour isn't it so 15 hours 10 hours it's 120 pound so that would be 12 pound an hour 15 hours so 8 pound that work out about 8 pound 8 or 9 pound so still more than the average wage now still more than the average hourly wage now 30 odd years later the average wage then my hourly rate you'd be lucky to get two pound an hour so you know for like a low-paid jobs throughout the 90s I was getting in fact in 1989 and 1990 I had a factory job that was paying 1 pound

80 an hour then it went up to 190 an hour I was dribbling I was then eventually it went up to 2 pound an hour and 2 pound 10 I think 2004 I think it went up to 2 pound 10 an hour oh so you know back in 1989 when I was 18 the thing is the 120 pound a week was just the basic that was without the Commission and if you don't earn Commission you don't have a job that's the basic thing with sales you have to if you don't make any sales you ain't

a salesperson therefore you have to leave or you get kicked out so no salesperson gets the basic for very long just the basic before they you know it's kind of obvious isn't it really I suppose so I I think the most I earned I think at that time was about 185 pound a week for now it's my best week and although it might be too over 200 which was an absolute fortune to me back then and that was a I know 200 pounds not a lot of money these days for what you can buy with

it you know but back in 1989 when the most I'd earn in a week probably was probably less than a hundred pound at that point maybe maybe a hundred and twenty hundred and thirty pound be it up I wasn't earning more than a four or five hundred pound a month when I was in a factory in 1988 to suddenly be earning you know getting on to 200 pound a week plus we were getting these prizes and because it was we worked for different companies basically my boss was and I don't know how to explain it

he's dead now but he was a crafty little devil I think is to one way to explain him he he was making money for us but at the same time he was making more money for himself so he's very clever very very clever in what he did but he made sure that everybody was happy so he made sure that he only had the best people working for him which meant that he also would sell he'd go out and sell some of the windows so he'd save the best he'd save the best leads for himself and

he'd go and sell the windows and get paid 25% commission so it's like you know because he was a he was a double glazing salesman for 30 years or something and very successful and when we met him or when I met him he was probably in his must have been in his late 60s 70s and he used to be a pilot in the in the RAF during the the last war the Second World War and it was just so many stories and he had this big moustache a proper old-fashioned RAF moustache that he clearly wasn't

he was allowed to keep it when he left the RAF basically when he left the army RAF whatever it was in when he left the war he was allowed to keep his moustache and he took it home with him and he kept it he wore it wore it every day and his name was Jeff and he had this big gap where he's got four teeth at the front were missing and I think sometimes he had false teeth and sometimes he didn't but it didn't stop him smiling he'd smile and he took me under his wing

a bit because it was only a small team of us but we we were good at what we did and we did exactly what he wanted we got exactly what was needed so he was happy we were happy and it was probably the best summer I've ever had because I was earning money and I had freedom there was a lot of freedom there a lot of and I was living I was kind of blossoming I was writing comedy you know I kind of just keeping a journal and I was reading sales books and getting drunk

still just things that 18 year olds do I was kept winning champagne so I used to spend a bit of time drinking champagne on the beach to be fair I'd probably be on a Sunday or Saturday and Sunday because I couldn't do it during the week so I was working but I did it couldn't go to work drunk not sure anyone would have noticed to be fair but sometimes because I lived across the road from where he lived Jeff my boss so he used to pick us up and I think I used to go to

his house and then he'd pick the others up on the way to wherever we would be going and he sometimes he'd invite me for dinner so his wife would I'm not sure if I think it's him I'm not sure if it's him that cooked or she that cooked all I know is phenomenally lovely beautiful food and I go into his home and it was immaculate everything was perfect like really expensive furniture and antiques and it was it was a retirement home that they were living in because they were both retired but he just yeah I

just thought I loved love to go in there and even now I can kind of get that sense that smell of the food because I was living in a little room yet again like I did for 30 odd years different rooms and I wasn't really eating because it was a family house there's lots of people there so and and I had money so most of the time I was eating out so I'd have I'd go to a cafe every day and have my lunch and then in the evening probably have a pizza or go to

the garage and get a sandwich or something like that so to have like a cooked meal cooked with love it's really nice and it told me all about sales and you know the techniques and it it I don't know I think it rubbed off on me but it took a long time before I got back into sales ridiculous I went through the entire of the 90s and his 90s as well I think I went all the way through the 90s so from 1989 so I went for 90, 91, 92, 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998,

1999, 2000 and then 2001 so 12 years later I started my first proper sales job so all of all the way through the 90s I could have been doing sales I just didn't believe in myself isn't it weird the thing is I did actually get quite a few sales jobs over the years during the 90s but they were all apart from one no they were all commission only yeah they're all commission only I think which was just undoable you can't work commission well I couldn't work commission only because I needed to pay rent buy food

and I was never able to go more than a week or even a few days really without money coming in needed to have to have money so I had I had a few sales jobs that didn't last there was one actually in 1990 yeah 1990 it was the back end of the year so it's near the end probably November time and I had this job and it was selling I forget the name of it now but apartments but share you know timeshare and I got a sale and they changed their mind so I think they

they read the small print or whatever when they went to sign the contracts they changed their mind which was a bit annoying so close but I quite liked it but again commission only and at the time I was working part-time and I was earning enough to pay the rent and buy my food so this sales job was only it wasn't full-time anyway it was just I think in the afternoons so I thought I'd give it go got nothing to lose and I did and I did I lost I only lost a few days and my

bus fare really to be fair but that that was okay but didn't it would have been a quite a well-paid job actually had I have sold but but so I left that one I didn't bother with that anymore what other sales jobs have I had I probably had more than I remember I can't remember I sold till rolls yeah till rolls I did that for about a week but I quit that because again I did get some sales to be fair I think I think I did but it was just hard and I was just

sitting in a room basically chain smoking everyone was just there doing the same and I didn't enjoy it and also I was selling a product that I couldn't I don't think I could ever get excited about the product till rolls you know that the roll that you put into a till that prints out your receipt there's a limit to how excited I could get about that and the only thing to really the benefits was I couldn't maybe price quality I don't know and also most people when I phoned them up they thought I was trying

to sell them toilet roll which I wasn't one of the ones jobs did I have and wow there's been a few I forget them oh wow I had a job selling tickets to the Henley regatta and I'm really struggling to remember it but again there was no pay it was Commission only and it was literally just phone numbers out of a phone book just here's a phone book phone people up I'd forgotten all about that and it was about selling companies just talking to companies and selling them like a cruise not a cruiser was that

the Henley I don't know a cruise or some kind of things for the Henley regatta I'm not even sure why Henley regatta is I used to know but it's in Henley and it's something to do with regattas and so I didn't again that would have been really good money it was one of those jobs that if I'd have sold a package I'd have made a 500 pound or a thousand pound or something on the sale because they're expensive products there were thousands and thousands of pounds worth of product but I quite liked the idea of

it because it was a bit bigger you know it was the money was there I could kind of taste the money a little bit you know see that well actually there is an opportunity if I sell I'm gonna make good money you know and people were walking in and they had some of the people who worked there had suits but really expensive suits briefcases walking in and they were clearly successful for doing really well at the job and I'm guessing in hindsight I'm guessing that some of those people probably had ongoing clients who maybe would

come back to them the next year and they'd sell them another package I don't know kind of how it worked but they were earning a lot of money but I just couldn't afford to get there so that's another one that I didn't do I did about two days or three days of it what's another one I did sure I did one in East London can't remember what it was for unless that's the one I'm pretty sure the Henley Regatta one was in embankment kind of area of London sales sales sales I did some canvassing in

1989 1990 19 yeah beginning of 1990 I did some canvassing for an insurance company and so that was knocking on people's doors in the evening and I think that was commissioned as well only I did it and it was for a proper insurance company and it might have been the house insurance or life insurance I don't remember I did it for one night and then I thought no I had another sales job they're all flash they're flooding back to me now I had another evening job and it was selling well actually it was giving away

I wish I'd stuck at this one because it was money to be made but I didn't realize at the time it was given or letting people have a sky dish satellite dish for free for a month or two months or three months something like that and if they didn't like it it just be taken away if it did like it they get chance to keep it and it you know did have all the programs and all the stuff that comes with the package and again this was back in 1990 but they a lot of people

didn't seem that interested I didn't realize that sky was going to go on and be the big company that it is because at the time it was kind of a bit of a joke and it sounds weird but you know the the press were constantly mocking sky and the sky dishes and the sky stuff because it was it was it wasn't terrestrial television and I don't think that the mainstream media liked it very much so but I finished there could have been some good money going there eventually and then 1990 in April I started doing

accounts and counselling I started doing the exercise working in a factory in London and in 180 an hour and I spoke to my friend my former boss who did the canvassing because the company we worked for took a break they'd stopped having canvases and decided to spend money on advertising and he told me they decided to get canvassing again and he asked if I wanted to go back so I moved back there and I was getting paid probably about the same amount of money 120 pound a week or 150 pound a week something like that

and so I did that and that was going well did that for a little while then I got a job in a factory on night shift and I was earning good money doing that as well because the night shift paid a lot more than the day shift so I was working from like 10 to I think it was 10 to 6 10 in the evening till 6 in the morning going going home going to bed getting up and starting work at probably 4 o'clock till 7 or 5 till 8 something like that eventually I got

rid of the canvassing because it was a little bit too much because I had enough sort of focus in plus they were asking me to do overtime in there in the full-time job sometimes and you know so I had to give that priority but it's really weird I went from earning less than a hundred pound a week in a factory working long hours sometimes all the way through the winter 89 to 90 in really freezing cold conditions because I was in a freezer basically or big fridge that was keeping everything frozen so it's quite a

hard graft you know job at times and then suddenly I'm earning 300 pound a week one if not more it's really weird isn't it how things turn around I'm just trying to think of any other sales jobs I had because I had three insurance jobs selling insurance back you know 2001 all the way through to four or five years ago other sales jobs no I can't think of anything sure there was I just can't think off the top of my head but before I go again I want to say thank you to Molly for the

card thank you for the after eight mints which I will be eating and also for the book that Molly sent me it's called the Dinkum dictionary a ripper guide to Aussie English the Dinkum dictionary would bring a brown dog back to life will put hair on your chest will stir the possums an immensely comprehensive collection of the words we really use that's from Stephen Murray Smith Lenny Midge Johanson a ripper guide to Aussie English so I will be dipping into this book but because I haven't made a Let Me Bore You To Sleep session for

a little while I thought I'd do a catch-up but I haven't really at all because I've not talked about anything much about what I'm doing now but that's okay so you take care of yourselves I will speak to you very soon remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love bye