#203 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (23rd August 2019)

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Mouland. Please only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes.

And that's it really. I suppose that's not the whole recording. I do have a Facebook page devoted to this.

I say devoted but it's basically if you go to Facebook and put Let Me Bore You To Sleep. The page will come up and you can just like the page and you can send me comments and messages and tell me how wonderful I am and bake cakes in the shape of my feet. I don't know, whatever you want really.

So I went out today. I say action-packed isn't really the right word. But I did go out.

I went out yesterday as well. I want to say I went out today. I realise it's now the day after but I can't be bothered thinking about that.

For me it's still Thursday the 22nd but it's actually the 23rd. No it's not. No.

Oh wait a minute. No 23rd Friday. Saturday the 24th.

Sunday the 25th. Monday the 26th. Yeah it's blimey.

It's the 23rd today because 26th is my birthday on Monday. Monday. Oh dear.

What you want to know how you can send me a birthday present? Really? I didn't expect to hear that. I suppose you could. You could gift me on Paypal.

What's that? What's the address for that? Really you want to know that as well? Okay. I must tell you. It's paypal.me forward slash Jason Newland.

Paypal.me forward slash Jason Newland. But you know it's fine. I'll be 49.

49. Wow. The thing is I've noticed as I got older I seem to age myself.

So for the last six months I've been 49. I'm turning to an old fogey. I'm literally turning to one of those really elderly people that you meet on a bus or at the bus stop that says, say to you, I'm 94 you know.

I'm 94. Like okay that's great but can you just give me the ticket for the bus? Just drive the bus please? You know it's kind of like I've now turned into that and I use it as an excuse as well. You know like yesterday I was moaning about my lack of money saying 49 years and I've got four pence.

And if I use it as well sort of um not arguments because I don't have arguments but just like sort of I've been alive for 49 years. I know you know I've got experience. 49 years of experience.

Really boring. I've got to stop doing it. The thing is on Tuesday I'll be able to start saying I'm 50 you know.

I'm 50. 50 years old. Don't talk to.

I'm a 50 year old man. I could be your grandfather. Like dad you couldn't be my dad.

Stop it. I could be your grandfather. 50.

I'm looking forward to getting to 50 just so I can phone my dad up and say what's it like to have a son who's 50 years old. What's that like? What's it feel like to have a 50 year old son. 50 years old.

And he'll probably say well actually I've had a 50 year old son for over four years because I've got an older brother and I and then uh then I'll like be well actually I've got a 50 year four year old son. Oh it takes away the uh the sting. The stingy thing.

The sticky thingy thing that's sticky in my thing that gets sticky when I sing. So I don't know what that was. What the hell? Sometimes I talk and I kind of think well that might rhyme with something.

I think maybe there's like a little inner rapper within me. Like a like a little hidden Eminem. Maybe I'll call myself Skittles or something.

Kind of like oh I want to rhyme stuff but unfortunately my rhymes don't make any sense. Or they just sound the same. Like you know my rhymes don't make any sense.

I like to smell incense which cost me in 1999 84 pence. If I had a time machine then that would what I was used to recompense my elements. Then it just yeah and then I just like try and run with underpants even though it's a different kind of word.

But so yeah I today I didn't stay up late. I've just recorded a recording. It's brilliant.

Oh you should listen to it. Oh Deep Sleep Whisperer 134. It's amazing.

25 minutes long. It's just oh I get aroused just thinking about it. No I don't.

It is quite good. It's quite a good recording. And they're all quite good really apart from these ones.

But they're they're you know I did yeah my the one I did yesterday as well for relaxation, hypnosis for stress, anxiety, panic attacks. I was really pleased with that one. I don't normally kind of get too excited about anything really.

But I didn't go in and get excited. I didn't start doing handstands and shouting out the window. Merry Christmas everyone.

Merry Christmas. Juju Petals. Juju Petals.

Oh I just want to live again. I don't don't you know don't get all kind of that's from It's a Wonderful Life that little bit there. My favourite film of all time.

And it's one of my favourite films. Big Ones number four. That was that's my favourite.

No it's not. So I got up. I didn't get up early like yeah the day before I woke up quite early.

But this today or yesterday but let's say today. Today when I woke up it was I set my alarm for one o'clock because I had an appointment at four. But I got up about 12.

So I had my breakfast. Actually I was just about to listen to my Elle Nightingale recording. An ad that I listen to every day.

Well I try to. And it's like a positive recording. I'm trying to increase my positivity by listening to positive things, reading positive things and just healing my brain and making new neural connections and this and that stuff.

All that stuff and all that groovy groovy stuff. So I'm sitting there at my laptop. One of the first things I do when I get up.

Well the process of getting up really for me is I put all my weight onto my right hand to sort of manoeuvre my body so it's up and then I put my feet on the floor but usually I think I put my right foot on the floor first and then my left foot. Sometimes I misjudge. Not the floor bit but I misjudge and I'm closer to the edge than I realise and I've nearly fallen out of the bed.

In fact I have fallen out of the bed a couple of times where I've gone to put all my weight on my right hand and I'm actually right on the edge of the bed. So I ended up like slipping out. But slipping out is not bad.

I mean you can always kind of, it's about just getting back inside again isn't it? You slip out. So I kind of managed to get up. In the past I have slipped out of bed while I've been asleep and I just managed to get back into bed and slip back in nice and warm and cosy and just you know try and stay there for as long as possible.

But I don't fall out of bed as much as I used to because I'm in a double bed now. Not now. I'm in a big black squeaky chair but I used to be in a single bed most of my life.

By that I don't mean I was always in a bed all my life. I used to walk around and do stuff. But when I was asleep I was very very much in a single bed and I hope I never have to go back to that.

I really hope I never have to go back to that because I love having a double bed. I love having a double bed. I mean love it.

I love it. I love it so much and I'm lucky because I'm not very tall. This is the only time it's okay because people say it doesn't matter how tall you are.

It doesn't matter how, what's this saying? It doesn't matter how tall you are when you're in and they're right because my feet don't go over the edge unless I kind of maneuver myself down which is not really a lot of point but sometimes I do. I'll hold on to the top of the mattress. I'll lay on my tummy and I'll hold on to the top of the mattress and I kind of maneuver myself down a bit and so my toes are over the edge and I kind of pull my feet to stretch my legs and then pull a little bit on my arms so I can stretch my back ever so pleasant sometimes.

But I like having a double bed because usually you know I don't fall out of it like I used to with the singles. I'm not saying that I always fell out of bed with a single bed. It wasn't like it didn't happen all the time but it did sometimes happen and but with a double bed oh it's nice really oh it's lovely.

And I think really apart from the carpet it's the most one of the most expensive things I've ever bought because I think it cost me about 600 pound. The carpet was about 600 pound as well 700 something like that so it's you know a few years back that I bought it when I first moved in here to this flat but I like my bed. I really do.

Oh so I don't know why I was talking about my bed. Oh yeah my routine of getting out of bed. So I do put my foot and my left foot down and sometimes I'll stretch.

Sometimes it's good not to. It's you know like I don't necessarily stretch and yawn. I just just take it easy.

Put my slippers on. Well they're crocs but they're not I mean I mean they're crocodiles. They're croc.

Those like plasticky croc things that are pretty comfortable because Andre would just ruin any slipper that I get. And there's slip-ons which is good. I like things that just I can slip into easily.

You know they're nice nice snug a nice grip so it's nice to have something I can slip into that's got a nice grip but there's not you know there's no struggle getting inside them. You know they just slip on nice but they do a nice have a nice grip to them. It's very comfortable.

So I go into the bathroom. Do a wee you know. I don't mean to offend anyone but we all have to do wee-wees and yeah just do like that stuff.

And then I I take my tablet for my tummy. I've got my acidy stuff so I take that tablet just because it stops me from getting heartburn and I have to wait about half hour before I can eat anything. And I've been very disciplined now.

It used to be difficult before because when I was younger the first thing I ever did when I got out of bed was eat. You know I had to eat straight away. I don't it wasn't drastic.

I don't mean I had a like some kind of portable breakfast cereal making machine at the side of my bed like a coffee machine. But I just had the I used to wake up with hunger pangs but not anymore. So we can we can train ourselves.

It's weird you know because if you'd have said to me Jason. I would have said yeah. And you said you know what in 2000 and whatever you're going to start taking the tablets you're not going to be able to eat for half an hour to an hour after waking up.

I just said what's it got to do with you. And he said well I'm just letting you know. I said well if you can tell the future I don't want that's not the stuff I need to know.

Give me lottery numbers. I'm not interested in my diet in 10 years time. Give me the lottery numbers.

Give me some you know stocks and shares portfolios. Yeah. It'd be a bit of a misuse wouldn't it.

Telling people I'll buy it away. It's like that. If someone told me 20 years ago that I'd be voting this way.

Well if you're going to predict that. What else can you predict? I can read you like a book. No you can't.

So. I know you better than you know yourself. No you don't.

There's no smoke without fire. Yes there is. Whether there is or not does no difference.

That's that mentality isn't it. Charity starts at home. There's no smoke without fire.

You know it's like I wonder if people actually think I actually have a before they say stuff like that. No I'm not going to think about it. I've heard other people say it and I'm just going to repeat it.

It makes life a lot more easier. I'm just going to repeat what I've heard and not think for myself. Oh okay.

I suppose it could make life easier. Not thinking. Can you imagine that? Never actually thinking about you know things, life, the meaning of what we're doing.

Nope I'm just going to continue doing what I'm doing. I'm doing it because everyone else does it.Me, me, me, me, me.

Okay. Fair enough. But yeah anyway I had yeah I was at the laptop.

What I normally do is once I've done this stuff I check my stats on the laptop which takes a lot less time now because I just got you know one podcast host which is Spreaker. All my podcasts are spread all over and that's where they're housed. That's where I can see the stats and so I just check to see how it's gone during my sleep.

So I woke up today I think at two o'clock this afternoon I'd had just about 2,000 downloads so far that day. So in the previous 12 hours I had 2,000 downloads. That's not bad is it? And at the time just before I started this recording I had over 3,000 for the day.

So it's kind of evening out really about 3,000 a day which I'm really pleased about. It's like really so that excites me. It really excites me, makes me really happy and excited when I hear about my statistics.

It really does give me a buzz. Oh yes, oh yes indeed. But I like it and I mean I could look at other stats for example iTunes.

I can go into the iTunes control center and not the control center, go into my podcast that are listed on iTunes and it gives a list of how many hundreds of hours each podcaster's had each month and then what's the average amount of time people have listened for. So perhaps I'll go to the sleep hypnosis podcast like one of the popular ones, the most popular ones and I'll maybe get have, I don't know, 300 hours over you know July or something or 450 hours through July.

Then it says maybe the average person, the average amount of time people had listened would be for maybe 44 minutes which means that because I've got short sessions and long sessions on there that a lot of people listened to the whole thing which is pretty pleasant.

So I could look at those but I rarely do, not really do but rarely do. Sounds like really do that doesn't it? I really like your hair. You'd think they were saying oh I really like your hair.

You have, you've got a really, no that's not right, I really like your figure. You wouldn't say you mean you really, you really like my figure. So what you like it now or you don't like it or just something that you don't like very often.

Here's a question. Is it acceptable to say to somebody like as I'm talking from a man's perspective but I'm interested in hearing a woman's answer to this. Is it acceptable to say to a lady, I've never done it, not seriously anyway I might have done it as a joke but to say oh you have a lovely figure.

I wonder if it's if it's acceptable to say that to somebody. I've never done it other than just as a joke. Not, I mean like with a friend saying oh what a lovely figure you have and just, you know, weddings and stuff like that you know just but I just, not jogging the views.

No that's not a good time to do it. Yeah I don't know. It's just, because it's not saying you've got a nice body but figure, what a lovely figure, what a wonderful figure, what a juicy figure.

I don't know. See I don't have much contact with females so I kind of lose track of what's acceptable but I never really used to take much notice of what was acceptable but I probably could have done with doing more of that and anyone that knows me knows that I'm just going to say whatever I say and to not really take me seriously because it's just I like to mess around and be playful but I just want to tell you that you've got a splendid figure. I don't know.

It sounds silly but you know I don't know. Anyway so I'm looking at my stats. We've got a lovely set of stats.

That'd be weird. So I do have some nice stats. I'm very impressed with my stats.

The stats, I would say my stats are growing as we speak literally. You know one of the good things I like to do is after I've uploaded a couple of podcast episodes I just go to the stats page and just refresh it and just see how many people have just literally started playing and downloading the episodes, the various episodes on the podcasts and you know just in I can do something in 10 minutes and I go back and I've had 100 downloads. It's like wow this is groovy.

I like this stuff. It gives me a little buzz. Isn't it weird? I generally feel good and I think that's important.

Not that I feel good looking at stats. Those stats. It's I'm doing something that feels good and I think it's important that we all do that.

Find something that feels good that's not harmful to us or others and just enjoy it. Yeah. So I'm sitting at the laptop.

My phone goes but doesn't doesn't leave. It's not like I'm walking out the door of a suitcase. It rings and I answer it.

I look at actually I look like we all do. I looked at the screen first. I thought oh god which I probably would have thought that anyway because I just got out of bed.

I answer the phone. What what do you want? That's my friend and she said oh hi. I said yeah well what's up? What do you want? Said nothing.

Just thought I'd give you to phone up for a chat. Oh god. I said like I just got out of bed and the last thing I want to do is chat.

Just just generally. It's like I don't think I'm gonna. I've got it in me to have a conversation right now and so that's how I felt as I thought I can't.

I'll have to speak to you later. I can't. It's like I wouldn't be able to do this first thing in the morning just after getting out of bed.

And then I asked her how she was which one of the downsides of that is sometimes they tell you and as she was speaking to me I could feel my brain being stimulated. It's like the lights are being turned on. You know it's uh I talk about it in some of my sessions of the idea of when you're going to sleep it's really a case of it's like being in a big office block and you turn the lights off floor by floor and I've done that.

I used to be a security guard and I used to work in some buildings and it would be a case of going around each floor turning the lights off closing all the windows making sure the fire doors are all closed making sure the taps are turned off and the toilets are unblocked you know all that stuff. And then by the time you get down to the the bottom floor you're really tired you know but everything's kind of switched off it's like turning your mind off.

Well this is kind of the opposite thing that happened it felt like the lights were being turned on and I don't know because she was I don't know what it was because something she said and it stimulated me stimulated my brain and I wanted to help her and I turned into this Mr Positivity and I started because it was to do with coursework that she's doing and she's having a little bit of trouble with it and I just I started turning to her like Mr Motivate I just you can do it you can do it

and I kind of surprised myself because I didn't know that was that was going to happen because I really thought I just needed to get rid of her at least I'd have a cup of coffee or you know just got myself awake and maybe speak to her later on in the day but I ended up being on the phone probably about half hour 40 minutes and it was a nice conversation I hope that it was useful what I said to her and what I spoke to her about but that's that's up to things you can

you can't make anybody do anything so I can't you know I gave her some tips a few bits of help I mean I've been I've got a degree I've been through the process of doing dissertations and stuff essays and so I've got a little bit of experience with that and I'm also a very focused person so I know that I don't know I suppose I just I've got you know I've been 49 you know 49 years of experience I can pass that wisdom down to my friend he's also 49 and she yeah that's it she

went and then I what do I do then I have my breakfast I watched a video on YouTube which since I'm doing more and more of this lately I'm watching motivational, inspirational, personal development, positive videos from motivational speakers, interviews with successful people all that kind of stuff that's what I'm really doing and I used to do this years ago not the successful people thing and not on YouTube because it didn't exist back then but I used to listen to self-development tapes back in 1997 and onwards for quite a few years actually and I never really

stopped I mean I still I've been listening to them for a long time but not as often as I did I mean in 1997 I was listening for hours each day and then I think in the early 2000s I was doing sales and I used to listen to a lot of sales tapes, sales CDs you know inspirational, motivational and stuff like that as well as reading motivational books so you know so this is it's not new but I just seem to have upped the ante a little bit I've got no idea what upped the ante

I know what it kind of means as far as I've you know I've increased what I'm doing but ante I'm not sure what an ante is not what an ante is and I suppose an ante is a northern ante so I'm not sure and I'm a member of Audible which is a it's an online audiobook platform it's online they've also got the app as well you know and how it works is you pay a certain amount each month and you get one free you basically you get a token which you can use on any book

whatever the cost is so if the book is if it's like I've had a few over the years the best of let's say the best of Les Brown or the best of Jim Rohn or Collected Works and it lasts like 50 hours and it would have costed like 80, 90 pounds then I spend the token on that instead of spending it on a you know £12.

99 book, audiobook but then they have special offers and really cheap you know cheaper books as well but the stuff that I like is the motivational stuff not really interested in reading or listening to other books at the moment anyway I want to listen and get as much positive stuff into my brain it's for me this medicine it's medicine it's just important so I yesterday I got the the magic of the magic of thinking big I think it's called it's by Schwartz something Schwartz the magic of thinking big now I've read this book I think

a couple of times it's a long time ago it's like early 2000s and I don't have that book anymore but I've got the audio and it lasts about nine hours I'm loving it I listened to it when I went out because you don't use data to listen to it it basically downloads it onto your phone because you own it forever so it's downloaded and then you just listen to it so I don't have to when I go out I don't have to use the data at all which is really cool and I it doesn't take

up that much room even though it's nine hours it's still condensed it's mp3 it's not a huge amount of space because I guess they know what they're doing don't they they know how to how to make files small so I've got that so I've been listening to that and I like to listen to Bob Proctor as well and he talks about sort of positivity he talks about that the secret stuff like that and Earl Nightingale and Napoleon Hill so I like to listen to them as well so some of these they're kind of they're old

well they're not around anymore you know they've been it's like a long time ago I listened to Jim Rohn he's not here anymore but it's brilliant it's absolutely brilliant it's I couldn't recommend him enough Jim Rohn R-O-H-N-J-I-M before and it's funny the way he talks is funny as well he's just got this certain way of stressing certain words and stretching some words out it's very it's entertaining to listen to not just what he's saying but even the way that he's saying it is so entertaining it's kind of somehow musical it's very nice I do a

big fan big big fan of his and I never discovered him until recently really I was a fan of Zig Ziglar back in the late 90s and I listened to quite a few you know Antony Robbins and I'm trying to think what other ones but Antony Robbins was like the number one motivational speaker I think in the world probably still is but he's yeah there's quite a few you know I want to listen to more I'll listen but I did listen to one recently and it talked too fast I couldn't listen yeah Zig Ziglar doesn't

talk quiet doesn't talk slowly but he's got he's got the type of voice the type of accent that I enjoy listening to Jim Rohn stretches his words so he's not talking slowly but he slows down then he talks and he's it's very artistic and artistic and he but I listened to this other person I forget his name and I've thought about listening to him for ages and I had a little listen and I thought oh no no just didn't fit right his voice didn't sit well which is quite unusual because I'm generally quite okay with

anyone's voice but his just didn't I think maybe he's just talking too quick I think that was the thing what other people the person that did the book Chicken Soup for the Soul and one of them he's I had a I had one of his recordings back in 2005 I think 2006 I forget his name is it Cannon can something canston something like that he's so good and some of the things that he was saying was just like wow just blowing me away so it's this and that's what does me a little bit because I

thought perhaps I can be a motivational speaker I should have said it without laughing but maybe I could do something like that in the future and do something inspiring but then how how can I compete with someone that well all of them talk much quicker than me and I know that I I exaggerate my slowness sometimes with these recordings I did one where it took me about an hour just to say a sentence now when I flush the and it comes really slow but I exaggerate that sometimes but the speed that I'm talking now is

my pretty much my natural talking speed it would speed up more when I'm talking to somebody because my brain gets activated in a kind of it's like a duel you know it's kind of like a bit of a sparring session but like a mental verbal sparring session so I kind of become a bit more active and a bit more verbal and I'm thinking in faster but my natural state is this to feel relaxed and just to talk at this speed I'm not I'm not talking I'm maybe I am talking a little bit slower than I

would normally maybe but by very little there's not a lot of difference and I know that it's not gonna be suitable for everybody especially in a motivational seminar because I've been to an Anthony Robbins motivational seminar back in 2005 I think it was it might have been 2006 and people jumping up up and down on their chairs and I think every at least every three minutes Anthony Robbins was shouting out whatever I didn't say I and everyone put their hand up in the air going I and I think that meant yes and I was at

the back pretty much of the of the hall and there was 10,000 people in there it was a big big event and it was in London I think London Stockholm's and I'm pretty sure there was big screens either side of the stage so you could watch what was actually going on to see because I could see him I mean he's about nine foot tall so you know you can't miss him he's he's a big lad so I could see him but he was still his auntie on the screen he was on the the big screens

and it was a lot of real excitement and I just thought I was thinking if I did something like that would that drain the energy and people would just be falling asleep bored and that would kind of be the opposite to an energizing positive inspiring talk so I don't know because you know I was talking to somebody recently that was saying that I'd quite like to do something like that but I'd like to do it as a successful person I'd like to do it you know as a to inspire in a sense of saying well

where I've come from and the difficulties and stuff then and I've managed to come out the other side nearly 50 you know nearly 50 I've managed to come out the other side as a success and be able to give a talk from that perspective because I don't know I can't I feel so well you know I can go on stage and say well you know I've been through all this stuff when I was younger and then you know had the mental health stuff and and you can be like me and you can end up being

unemployed it's it's not it's not uh as I say in the business is not necessarily a happy ending it's it's not the I don't know how motivational that will be you know that could be my little tag a little tagging rhyme on the poster be like me watch daytime tv you know it's I don't know but then my friends said yeah but you are successful you're helping people all around the world from your home you are you know and you're still dealing with this condition that you got and be still focusing and helping people so

that is a success which was lovely to hear but I don't know if I'll be able to convey that on a stage unless it was aimed at people with bipolar or something I'm not sure and then I thought well perhaps a lot of these motivational and inspirational speakers they they work off the back of a book a successful book so I'll get a book published um for you know whatever it is called you know um stop smoking in in 15 years or I don't know this whatever special diet for short people it's I can make

you grow three inches in three weeks I get emails like that all the time I kind of like thinking how do they know how do they know that I need such a product but it would mean writing a book and I know that well I believe that there is a book in not inside me that would give me heartburn there's a book in my talkings in my talks in my podcasts there's a lot of hours worth of stuff there a thousand odd hours or whatever and amongst that there's probably a few quite good little nuggets

that could um be taken out and put into a book format and then expanded upon and polished so I don't know it's that would mean listening to all my recordings not all of them but listening to a lot of the recordings and I don't know if I've got the patience to do that it's a lot a lot of work it really is so I'll see what happens I'll try to do the uh transcribing and I've got I actually got some transcribing software and I transcribed an audio mp3 from one of these recordings and it all

it was just jumbly it was just I read it admittedly there was no full stops or any kind of punctuation a lot of the words were spelt wrong or just the wrong words but it made no sense then I realized that all the words were spelt wrong and it just is exactly correct it's just me that wasn't making sense that didn't happen at all it was just I looked at it and it was I don't know it's kind of like for me it'd be like reading a book written in Chinese and trying to guess what's

being said on the page by the picture on the front you know it's it's I'd be quite interested to learn Chinese especially the writing it looks fascinating just uh I don't just think just looks incredible really the way it is presented very beautiful isn't it like a Chinese, Japanese, Siamese, it's kind of various different types of writing you like Sanskrit and Lebanese uh I don't know Vietnamese I suppose it's all different um writing and yeah I find it quite interesting there's so many different writing so many different books written in different ways it's amazing isn't

it really you think how many different nationalities and how it's such a small world really we manage to speak so many different languages and write in so many different ways I wonder what things would be like if everyone just spoke one language and I don't mean English although that would be my preference because it'd make it easier for me but imagine if everyone just spoke one language whether it's Chinese or German or French or Australian whatever sort of language I wonder what the world would be like if everybody just adopted that one language I'd still

talk in English I think I'm too old to start learning a whole new language nearly 50 you know so I didn't get to really tell you about my day so I might get around to it another time but for now I'm going to say goodbye and I'll speak to you probably tomorrow take care of yourself so remember to be kind to yourself lots of love bye