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Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You to Sleep. My name is Jason, not Jason but Jason Newland. Please only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes.
I just want to say thank you to those of you that have wished me a happy birthday and for those that have sent me birthday presents via PayPal. Thank you very much, you know who you are. I very much appreciate it.
It's very lovely, I do. Yeah, it's nice. And just to let you know, I have a Facebook page specifically for this podcast.
So if you just go to Facebook and put in Let Me Bore You to Sleep, and it should come up. You can, the benefit, I mean you can join my normal Facebook pages as well if you want. The benefit of the Let Me Bore You to Sleep is I only post episodes from this podcast on there, as opposed to the other Facebook pages where I post all of my podcasts.
And those are for you. I'm a little bit aghast there, sorry about that. So I'm 49, 49 years old and one day.
So it's now Wednesday the 28th of August 2019. And it's, what is it, 1.23am. So for those of you that listen to this regularly, you know I kind of, sometimes I'll just talk about nothing for an hour. Sometimes I talk about something for an hour.
Sometimes I tell stories. Sometimes I talk about my life. Sometimes I just make up stuff about my life.
And more recently, I've been trying to increase my repertoire as far as different things I can do. Don't say, we know what repertoire means. What I mean is, I'm trying to expand the type of recordings.
And recently I had, I was reading out of my book of knots and then a few days ago, I was reading out some fun facts about the UK, UK history. So I started to get myself a little collection of books. They're all cheap, they're all like two pound, three pound each.
And I'm going to dip in and out of each of those books every now and then. And give you a few fun facts, as well as just some facts. And so today I got a book about birds.
I also got a dictionary. So I'm going to be reading out of the dictionary. Not today, because I couldn't even handle that boredom.
I just, the thing is with a dictionary, I suppose some dictionaries would have pictures, wouldn't they? So it'd make it more fun for me whilst I read. But that's more of an encyclopedia isn't it? So I'll look at getting some encyclopedias that I can talk about what's in the picture. It just makes it a little bit easier for me, rather than with a dictionary, just looking at a bunch of print.
And I am going to be going through them. And I'm going to be marking off each thing that I talk about, so that I don't repeat myself in future episodes. So there.
So I'm going to talk, I'm not going to do the dictionary today. That might be tomorrow, might be another day. And let's face it, it's a dictionary.
So it's it's going to last me for years probably. I'll probably still be reading out of that dictionary in 10 years time, which is going to be wonderful. So I'm going to build up this little collection of books specifically for these Let Me Bore You To Sleep recordings.
So I can dip in and out, talk about what I'm reading, what I'm looking at. And, and at the same time, as being boring, I might actually learn something new. Because I'm picking subjects that I've got no interest in.
So I'm getting these books. It's not totally true. I do like birds.
But I'm not, I'm not, I'm not a bird watcher, as such. More a bird seer. I see them, but I don't really watch them.
You know, I'm not a, really, I'm not a bird voyeur. Because you think about it, sometimes you see, you see people that bird watch and they're, they've got these boxes set up with curtains and they're hiding with cameras and telescopes and, but they're hiding behind a curtain. And that's dodgy behaviour.
Anyway, so I'm going to be getting more books on like astronomy, maybe astrology, maybe on shipbuilding, golf, maybe, all the stuff that I'm not really that interested in. But I need to, I can't keep saying this, but I think it's important to mention that I'm not mocking the subjects. Everything is interesting to someone.
So, you know, bird watching is a passion for probably millions of people around the world. I absolutely love it. And I do love birds.
But as I said, I'm, yeah, you know, I just see them when they're there. I don't, I don't watch them. You know, I'm not watching, I'm just, I think it's a little bit different.
I'm not, although, when I was young, my stepmama, first stepmama, she was really good artist, probably still is, but she's really, really good at drawing. And she liked to draw birds. So like many young children, I was, let's say nine, or 14, 15, let's say I was nine, because that's the time I'm thinking of, about nine, maybe 10.
And I wanted to be like her. And she said, well, you're male, there are limits. I said, yeah, no, I mean, I want to be able to draw.
I want to be able to draw like you. And she said, unfortunately, you don't have any talent. She didn't say that.
She said, I think she was quite encouraging. But I didn't have what I would class as the natural drawing ability. It's something that took a lot of focus for me to do.
It didn't really come natural. I think the things I liked to really draw was spaceships, and cars with rocket launchers and stuff. And I think that was more to do with like James Bond, and watching Logan's run on television, and I suppose, you know, Star Wars and stuff like that, kind of got my juices flowing.
And, but we had a quite a big garden, where I lived as a, from the age of about nine to 15. And, or eight and a half to 15, something like that. So it's quite a long, quite a long time.
But I suppose not really, if you think about it, but at the time, it seemed to drag on somewhat. So I just, I didn't have the garden, the garden was there. I really didn't, didn't, but I didn't contribute to the garden existing.
It was, you know, it was there when we moved in. You know, I didn't have some kind of weird powers, and moved in, and I thought, let there be a garden. And a garden arrived, just out of nowhere.
Nothing, nothing like that happened. Although I did used to think I can control the weather. But I might have talked about that before.
I remember when I went to high school, and that was at the age of 11. And I remember going around to all my teachers, and telling them that I could control the weather. I can make it rain at will.
I can make it windy. Not just in my underpants. I guess I could control the weather.
Now in hindsight, I'm not sure that I made a particularly good first impression. And, yeah, I don't think it did me any favours in the long run. But there you go.
We, you know, it is what it is, as they say, in places where they say that. So we had a garden, and there is a peach tree. Peach, yeah, peaches.
And I wasn't a big fan of peaches. And I like peaches in a crumble. And for those that don't know what a crumble is, I don't, I don't mean like rubbing it between your hands like a, like a bogey until it's dry and crumbly.
What I mean is, it'd be put into, it's kind of like a, as far as a crumble, it's kind of like a pie, but without pastry. But underneath it, it's on top, it's crumble, which is made of crumbly stuff. And I'm not sure what else.
But yeah, it's really nice. Really, I think the best part of a crumble, whether it's an apple crumble or peach crumble, you can have quite a few different types. I don't think I ever had a banana crumble.
But then whenever I skated wearing stilts. So there's lots of things I haven't done, or perhaps wish to. And I'm sure we had, did I say peach? Pear, peach, not peach.
What's that red fruit? It's horrible, horrible red fruit. Plums. Yeah, did I say I had a peach tree or plum tree? It was plums.
I had plums. And okay, sometimes, I'll admit, they tasted quite nice. If it was a real kind of, either it's going to taste nice, or it's really not.
It's kind of like have a have a drink by the side of you just in case. A bucket, you know, it's kind of, but once it was inside the crumble, with some, I guess, sweetener, which is probably sugar, I guess. Oh, it's lovely.
Proper nice, proper nice. So we used to have that because my step mummy was a really, really brilliant cook. Baker, cook, everything, there's nothing she couldn't do.
And I say that, but she wasn't great at flying jets. It's one of the one things she was kind of average at flying jets. Rarely crashed, but, you know, I mean, just touch and go.
So, but you know, with the baking of cakes, it's really, really good at that. But good at lots of things. And I wanted to be like her, because I've never been, I don't mean this, I'm going to talk from a perspective of someone who was born in 1970, and lived through the 70s and the 80s.
I've never been particularly manly. And I realised that's possibly a weird statement. But the, you know, like that testosterone filled, you know, and even like young boys, wanting to play football and and into cars.
And, you know, this is before video games came along this, you know, it was there was very much a boys and girls kind of activities that would occur. And I prefer to be with girls. I prefer to spend time with girls, although I didn't always get an opportunity to do that.
So, which meant I kind of had to put up with being around boys. I didn't really relate to them. Because I wasn't, just wasn't really interested in the stuff and I was showing off and trying to be macho and trying to be tough, and all that kind of silliness didn't really appeal to me.
It wasn't, it's kind of, I'd already done that. I did that when I was a kid, when I was little. I grew up in a very rough housing estate in Newcastle.
So I was a Geordie from the age of what, two till about five or six. So I kind of grew up in a like a rough, a rough place. And then I moved somewhere soft, where people were like trying to act tough, but they weren't.
So that I kind of wasn't that impressed. It didn't affect me, if that makes sense, kind of. I didn't find other children scary.
It was kind of laughable. And then when I got older, high school, everyone started growing up and having muscles. And I was still little.
So everyone started kind of stronger than me. Wasn't fair. Nah, nah, nah.
I guarantee I'm fatter than them now. So we had this garden anyway. But I want to read out of this book.
I don't want to spend the whole time talking about the garden we had. I had a bad experience with the drawing bit. Because in the late 70s, early 80s, we used to have quite a stable weather.
And the seasons were a bit more reliable, I think, as winters were cold. And we had snow. Never at Christmas.
If you want snow at Christmas, go and live, go to Wales or Scotland. Pretty much guaranteed certain places, you're guaranteed snow every Christmas morning. And I'm going to do that one day.
Because in my entire life, in my memory, I mean, it might happen when I was really little, but I don't ever recall waking up on Christmas morning with snow. I was going to say like, flowing down on my face, but that would mean that I had no roof or I was homeless. So I don't want it to snow then.
I've never known it to snow on Christmas morning on Christmas Day. There's been times when there's been snow on the ground, which is beautiful. But it's not the same.
You know, it's kind of having snow on the ground, as opposed to having snow flowing down, you know, like snowing. I don't know, it's a little bit like being offered chocolate when you've got diarrhoea, you know, it's like, it's not the same. It's, you know, offer me chocolate when I'm feeling hungry for chocolate.
Maybe that's not a good comparison. I was going to say, it's like asking someone who's having an asthma attack to blow up a balloon. No, it's not the same here, is it? I was trying to think like something that's incongruent, you know, it's not the same.
It's not. It's not. Yeah, it's not the same.
It's like having just dropped the lead. It's just dropped from the table. Sorry about that.
Put it back on there nice and quietly. I suppose like having your Christmas dinner or your birthday dinner or whatever dinner it is. There's a big difference between the food when it's on the table and you're hungry and you've been waiting, you've been kept waiting for far too long.
But it's family, so you can't say anything, you can't complain to the waiter, because it's family. Because you'd like to complain. You'd really like to complain when you, it's like, you know what? I know we're related, but do you know how hungry I am? You said dinner was going to be at one.
It's now five to two. I'm furious. This, mother, is unacceptable.
I demand satisfaction. We duel at six in the morning. And yeah, so it'd be, it'd be like having your dinner in front of you, and then seeing the scraps poured into a bucket of the leftovers.
And although it's still the same thing, the snow on the ground is a little bit like that. It's scraps of food. Except much more beautiful.
Unless the scraps of food are being decorated with tinsel or something, I don't know. Some candles. Oh, you know what I saw the other day? I gotta tell you.
I saw, I might have mentioned this, but I'm going to mention it again. I saw a little deer with a little, it wasn't a reindeer, no, it wasn't a reindeer. It didn't have a sled or anything, sleigh.
It was basically, I was walking down the road with Andre. Now, I don't know if I had Andre in my arms, or I was just dragging him along on his lead. And so I don't remember.
But we, where I go, where we walk, where sometimes I carry him, or sometimes he walks, it depends how he feels really, especially in this kind of weather. He gets a little bit too hot for him, which is weird. Okay, get this.
This is for Beth. I'd like to hear about Andre. He, today, he's doing something that he's never done before, as far as I know.
Of course, I don't know what he gets up to, and I'm not here, but I couldn't find him. I looked, didn't know where he was. He's got about six different, how many places does he sleep? So he's got underneath the chair, the big black squeaky chair, he sleeps under there sometimes.
He's got a carrier bag, it's the white, it's a mixed carrier bag that he's had for ages. He likes to sleep in there sometimes. He's got his brown and sickly green bag, which is generally his favourite place, but he's not interested in that at the moment.
And this is all in the living room, and he's got some behind the door, because I had the door propped open by a, it was a cat, like a cat box, like a little scratch bar and a ball, like a string and a ball on it, and a flat top, and it's hollow, so he sleeps in there sometimes. So that's for one, two, three, four, and the fifth place he sleeps in here is behind the door in a pair of my, um, oh, I suppose they're tracksuit bottoms, but I was using them as lounging around pajamas, but my belly destroyed them. It got to the point where the elastic in them just said no more, that's it.
One day was fine, the next day, they were just falling down. And with my ego, I thought, yay, I've lost some weight. No, the elastic's gone.
There's a big difference, my boy. My little pudgy pudding. Okay, so I put them down there for him, and so I can't use them anymore.
And he sleeps in them, because he can sleep in, he likes to sleep in the leg bit, like a little tunnel for him. So that's what, one, two, three, four, five places here in the bedroom. He's got three places that he sleeps.
The main place is on my bed. And he could be under the quilt, on the quilt, or inside the quilt. So I don't even know when he's there.
I mean, a couple of times I've gone to lay down, and didn't even know he was there, and he pops up and made me jump. And sometimes, this isn't, I've got a pile of dirty washing. We all have dirty washing.
It's basically clean washing that's been used. It's not dirty. I mean, it's not like, you know, fumes and smoke coming off of them, flies.
Usually there's not that. And sometimes he sleeps in there. He burrows into it, or, you know, that's usually more in the winter than in the summer.
And I've also got this box that I got. Um, I think it's a box I got my punch bag in. And I cut the top off and the sides off so he can climb into it.
And I put some other old clothes that I can't wear anymore. Because for some reason, I had a medium-sized t-shirt. I still had it.
Why? I've been able to wear a medium-sized t-shirt for, it might be, okay, it might be large. I have to have extra large t-shirts. XL or XXL, whatever.
But this was light, and it was tight, which looks good. If I, if I look in a mirror, the, I've got this little bathroom cabinet with two doors that open, and there's some mirrors in both of them. And you can basically see from my head down to, depending on where I'm standing, down to probably nipple area, about, you know, just about that area, middle of my chest or whatever.
Well, probably they're sagging a bit. I know with age, all boobies do, but, um, but I look quite fit from that, from that angle. Forget the face, but shoulders and, you know, the chest.
I look, especially if I've got a tight t-shirt on, I look like I'm quite muscly. Then I look in a full-length mirror. It's like, um, you ever been to those crazy fairs where they have those magic mirrors, like those fun, fun mirrors? It's almost like that.
I've gone from looking at a normal mirror to like a comedy version of myself. Yeah, crazy, they call them crazy mirrors. So if you've, if you've got a belly, not you, me, for me, this is just for me.
Yeah, I only speak from my own perspective because I've got no issue with people, how people look. I've got no interest in how anybody looks, apart from myself. And, and I think everyone, perhaps the whole world would be a bit better off if we did that.
Instead of judging each other, I'm going to judge myself, that's what I want. Because I don't, I want to look better. I think I look all right for my age.
And someone said, oh, what, you're 55? Like, no, yeah. I think I look all right for 49. I think I definitely don't sound 49.
I don't think I look 49 at all. But then what does 49 look like? You know, realistically, I do look 49 because that's who I am. I look my version of 49.
I do wonder what I'm going to look like when I'm 70. I kind of think, oh, I wonder, because my dad is 73. He was 25 when I was born, I think, 24 or 25.
I'm 49, so whatever that makes him. 70, about 73, you know, 74. And I don't think he looks that old.
You think about it, 74, 75, 80. He don't look anywhere near 80. You know, not in my, my image of an 80-year-old is elderly, but that was the old image of an 80-year-old.
Because my image of a 49-year-old was old when I was younger. But now, I kind of think, well, I'm breathing. Everything kind of still works.
And, you know, I do weights every day. I do a little bit of exercise, not so much cardiovascular, which would be something I'd like to do more of. I've got a friend called Brooke, and she, she told me she rides a bike like a, I'm just watching telly.
I thought that's dangerous, but it's a stationary bike. And that's what I'm perhaps thinking of trying to do in the coming year. Get myself a stationary bike and maybe spend an hour a day on that whilst watching, you know, early evening television.
It's just, you know, because I'm quite lucky. Of course, no one knows what's going to happen, but genetically I've got a very old family on my nan's side. They all live to be very old, you know, generally like 90s, at least.
Not all of them, but, and I kind of, every single one of my aunts and cousins, uncles, aunts, cousins, everyone, they're all alive, apart from the, my nan's generation, all the ones that are in their 90s. All the younger ones that are now getting towards 80, still alive, still kicking, still punching and doing karate and blowing whistles or whatever they do. So I think, if I'm still going to be around when I'm 80 or 90, still doing this, by the way, I'm never going to stop this.
You're stuck with me. Can you imagine? Can you imagine spending the next 20 years or 30 or, what am I, 49, 50, 60, 70, 80. I reckon, as long as my voice still works, and I probably wouldn't need, I don't know, I reckon I could probably still do this when I'm 80.
I may not be able to record as many recordings as I do, like in a year at that age, I might want to do other things. But yeah, I think it'd be cool. I'd be still doing this, still be reading out of the dictionary.
And when you consider we're 40 minutes into this thing, I've not even read anything out of this bird book. These books are going to last me for years. And I'm going to be getting a new one every week, probably.
Just sort of some random facts and, you know, book of maps or book of flags, you know, those kind of stuff. And be describing the different flags. But then I get carried away and I start talking about stuff and I forget what I'm doing.
And start talking about plumber crumbles and such like. One weird experience, and I might have mentioned this, I have mentioned it before, but maybe not in these, on this podcast. And not this episode, but even the whole podcast, you know, I probably mentioned it in the other things that I've done.
It was, I think, I had chickenpox, which was brilliant, because it meant I didn't have to go to school. I know it sounds silly. And that sounds an exaggeration.
But I'm not even joking here. I would have took any illness. I'd have had an amputation if I needed to have time off school.
I really didn't like school. Really, really didn't. So I would have been happy anything to get away from school.
So I was so lucky and blessed when I got a chickenpox. And because I had three brothers, two who were older, it was just bound to happen. You know, my oldest brother got it first.
Then my other brother, older brother got it, and then I got it. And every day, when they had it for me for about five days before me, every day, I'd be looking and like, please, I used to go in when the others were around, and I started rolling around in my brother's bed, just to try and catch it. You know, I'd run around, walk around in his underwear.
Just like, please, just don't want to catch it so I don't have to go to school. And when I got it, it was quite as pleasant as I thought it was going to be. It was not very nice at all, really.
But I still thought, you know what? I'm scratching all the time and I don't really feel particularly good, but it's still better than being in maths. So there you go. But I enjoyed it.
And I think, I think it was snowing at the time. So I was laying down on the floor. Those were the days where I didn't have to sort of plan on getting up.
Now, if I'm on the floor, I have to think, well, how the hell am I going to get up now? I have to roll over onto my side and put the weight onto my left arm, and then put the weight onto my right arm, try and make my way to my knees, put my knees in front of me, and then one foot at a time, try and like push up. And I didn't have to think about that when I was a kid, I just almost floated. It's like, you know, I'll be laying down on the floor, I want to stand up, and suddenly I'll be stood up.
It just happens so quick. And anyway, I was lying down on the floor. And I was drawing Buck Rogers.
Now, for those of you that may not know who Buck Rogers was, and there's a few different answers for that. First of all, he was a comic book, like a, I suppose, like a hero like Flash Gordon. He didn't have special powers, but he was a hero.
Kind of a bit like the A-Team, but nothing like the A-Team. And the synopsis really was, it was called Buck Rogers in the 25th century. And he was, I think he was frozen, geopanetically, or whatever it's called.
Peanut butter, no, not a peanut butter jar, he wouldn't fit, would he? But he was, yeah, like Walt Disney. And I think Walt Disney froze his bum, froze, didn't he freeze his bum, or something, geopanetically. And so that, I don't know, I forget, but, and he woke up about, and I think he was in space.
Yeah, so for some reason, and they discovered him, and he woke up, like, 600 years in the future. And his name was Buck Rogers. Now, I don't know if Buck actually was short for something, because doesn't really sound like a real name, does it? If I'm honest, no offence to anyone out there called Buck, but it's not a real name.
It might be, maybe it is. I mean, Buck, that's, isn't that a male elephant or something, isn't it? Buck. Maybe his first name was Buccaneer.
Buck, Bucking, Buckaroo? I don't know. Bucket and Spade? I don't know. So he woke up, or he was defrozen.
And I might, who knows, it might have been, he might have been there for years in a freezer. Someone went in to get some ice cubes and thought, oh, there's a man in there. I don't know.
I don't really know. I mean, you know, I don't think it was based on a true story. So he was on this TV show, and it was brilliant.
And it was, it was all scientific, you know, it's all space. And there was, he had a sidekick called, what was his sidekick called? It's like a little robot, like a little android that used to go biddy, biddy, biddy, biddy, biddy, biddy, biddy, biddy, biddy, biddy, biddy. And so basically, this, this little android was two in one.
So I had two different characters. There was a biddy, biddy, biddy, biddy, and a watsup, Buck. And his main might have been Biddy.
Biddy, Biddy, Biddy, Biddy. I forget, I forget. It was a little bit similar to the Star Wars Androids, you know, the little round one.
Not the gold one, but the other one. Yeah, it was different. Biddy, Biddy, Biddy, Biddy, Biddy, Biddy.
Biddy, Biddy, you're cold, Buck. I know, I've just been thawing. So I don't I don't know, so he had that and he had a lady, who I think was his love interest, I think, got this very faint image of her being brunette, on her head anyway, and wearing white, like a white suit, not a suit as in being a lawyer or something, or an accountant, or well, you know, going to a wedding, but it was more like a, I suppose like Star Trek-y kind of suit, you know, a bit too tight to be comfortable for work.
That's what I used to think, I know that my brother probably used to really like watching it and thinking, and I was thinking, it looks uncomfortable, I mean, she's got to sit down and all day, you know, doing stuff, that's got to chafe, my brothers were going, whoa, whoa, chafe, whoa, they might not have been doing that, but I was always concerned, always concerned about the well-being of people, it's important to me, like, you know, does it give enough support, you know, things like that, so she was in it, and there was other people in
it as well, probably kind of aliens, well, technically, I suppose all of them was aliens, I mean, technically, we're all aliens, aren't we, and everything on this planet has come from outer space, everything, this planet is just made of meteorites and debris and stuff from other planets and solar systems and the universe just landing in to make this ball of earth, so we're kind of all aliens, really, yes, and I think the thing that I noticed, I didn't really notice it at the time, but when I watched it back in the 90s, because I was
watching this probably late 70s, early 80s, when it was first on, maybe 1980, you know, I was probably 10, now, I used to enjoy watching it, but for me, it was more about, you know, the show and the adventure, and it was funny, and it was the best thing on TV at the time, really, it was over in England, where I was living at that precise moment, it was the Saturday night highlight, well, one of them, and we depended, I mean, sometimes it would be the pizza poo, so if I had a really nice pizza
at five o'clock with lots of sweet corn, I used to be quite fun, but at 10 o'clock having a pizza poo, but yeah, didn't really want to go into that, so we would watch Buck Rogers in the 20th century, like that, now, I didn't really notice this at the time, I noticed it in the 90s when I was an adult, the program was full of beautiful people, including Buck Rogers, I knew that I used to see pictures of him in the TV magazines, and I didn't realize he was, I wasn't really aware of heartthrobs and
stuff like that back then, and he was a heartthrob, and he was in the same league as Magnum, and they both had something very similar, they both had very hairy chests, which I didn't, I don't think I really picked up on when I was a child, but when I was in the 20s, and I was watching it back, because they were showing repeats, they couldn't show it for the first time, could they?
And with Buck Rogers in the 25th century, in the 25th century, I was just, oh wow, it was full of like skimpily clothed people, men and women, and Buck Rogers had his top off so much, and he had this big hairy chest, and I thought, oh, it's very similar to watching Wonder Woman, again, I watched it when it first came out, and then I watched it again when I was in my 20s, and it was kind of like watching it through fresh eyes, because it dawned on me that the type of woman, the type of,
like the perfect female in my eyes at that time, when I was like growing up as a teenager, and in my 20s, I didn't realize it until I watched Wonder Woman in about 1994, she was on Sky Television, I was in Ireland at the time, and I realized it was Wonder Woman, she was the woman that I longed to be with, and I don't know if it was the way she looked, or it's just the fact that she liked to turn, you know, swizzle around, because I used to like to do that on a football
pitch, but unlike her, there was no sparks, I didn't turn into like a superhero and have a bikini on, I'd just get dizzy and fall over, but I had that connection, you know, had that connection, and I realized it's just that little, that was like a seed that was planted in a really young, you know, I was young when Wonder Woman was out, when that was in the late 70s, and did you hear that in the background, I'm just running around now, so I fell in love with Wonder Woman again in what, 1994, and I
didn't realize where my, I'm not saying she's the only reason, but I think I must have fallen in love with her when I was a kid, when I was little, she might have been my first like crush, like really, you know, and I wanted to be with her, even though I was only little, and even now I have to see this, yeah, and by when I say Wonder Woman, I'm talking about the original Wonder Woman, not the Wonder Woman in the films now, I mean, I don't find, I think the films are good, the film
that she was in is really good, but I don't, it doesn't really do any, you know, she's not my type, the original Wonder Woman, I don't know what it is, I just, it's like a, I think probably a celebrity crush that's never gone away, she's about 90 now, and I still, no, and I, I don't know, it's strange, and another thing I didn't notice, and this is when, until I started watching it recently, because I bought the box set, and the, at the end of every episode, she looks at the camera, and she smiles, at
the end of every episode, she looks at the camera, she smiles, and like laughs, kind of proper, so I don't remember that, so that's what's the weird thing, I don't remember, and when I was a kid, I don't remember the jiggly, jiggly, jiggly, jiggly, and then when I was in my 20s, that's all I noticed, was the jiggly, jiggly, and now I'm in my 40s, what I noticed was her smile, it's almost like I'm becoming an adult, I'm maturing over time, so probably by the time I'm 70, I'll notice her personality, I'm joking, it's so,
anyway, I did this picture, I drew this picture, and it was in Looking Magazine, and it wasn't of Wonder Woman, I've got, yeah, it wasn't of Wonder Woman, it was Buck Rogers, this is the hairy chest, and, but he had, he was holding his helmet in his hand, I should explain, he used to wear a helmet, so this picture was of him holding his helmet, probably to his chest, the lucky boy, and so his hair, he just had his hair, and you know, he didn't have a beard, I don't think he had a moustache like
Magnum, P.
I. , but I might be wrong, because moustaches were quite popular in, you know, around that time, that's why I drew him, I drew, I didn't draw him, you know, he wasn't actually there, but I did offer a picture, and I drew him, and I probably spent about two hours drawing his picture, and I went and took it to my step-mom, and I said, step-mom, and she said, when are you going to start calling me mum? And she said, when are you going to start calling me step? And she said, I said, look at this, what do you think?
And she said, oh, who is it? I said, guess, bearing in mind we were all watching Buck Rogers every Saturday evening, you know, and it was like the big thing. I'm not saying that's all we talked about, but, you know, we, it was a shared family activity of some stature, I would argue, and I said, who do you think it is? She said, is it Elvis Presley? And after the funeral, I was like, I was like, no, it's Buck Rogers. She said, that doesn't look like Buck Rogers.
She said, you're only good at dancing. I said, why? She said, well, you're no good at drawing. So, no, she didn't say that.
So, I wasn't hugely impressed with that, because I put a lot of effort into it. And I'm not a big fan of wasting my time, unless there's a point to it. So, yeah, I'm not really forgiven that, if I'm honest.
Perhaps after 45 years, I should let it go. Actually, not 45, is it? 35? 30? No, that's 38. What's that? Nine.
So, 40 years. Yeah, 40 years. Is that long enough to hold a grudge? Yeah, maybe I'll let it go.
I've got an itchy eye. Probably talking about all that Wonder Woman stuff. I always get itchy when I think of her.
So, I didn't get around to talking about my book, Pocketbook. So, if I just go to the first book, the first page that comes up. Mating Ritual of the Blue Tits.
No, maybe not. Oh, I was going to say, Andre, all these places he sleeps. Today, he was sleeping behind the cooker.
Now, it's a really hot day. I've had two hot days in, three hot days in a row. He was sleeping behind the cooker.
And I thought, okay, it's metal, it's probably cold. I turned the oven on to cook something. He still stayed behind the cooker.
And I couldn't get him out. And I thought, is he stuck? Is he stuck to the cooker? I don't know. What's going on? And in order to take him out, I ended up having to pull the cooker out of the gap it's in, just so I could get to him.
And he was trying to get away from me. And normally, he goes behind the cooker when we're playing. So, he gets me to chase him.
And he knows I can't get to him when he's behind there. So, then I leave him and I go into another room, and he comes out looking for me, because I play hide and seek. But he just refused to get away from the cooker behind there.
It's honestly, it's I think he's got a problem. Something's going on with him. He really didn't want to give up that whatever he was doing behind there.
So, that's it. Maybe he's fallen in love with the cooker. Maybe they've got a relationship going.
I'm quite sure how that would work anatomically. So, I'm going to go. Thank you for listening.
And I'll speak to you next time. Thank you for just being here. And remember to be kind to yourself.
Lots of love. Bye.
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.