#202 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (22nd August 2019)

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland. Please only listen to this when you can.

Safely close your eyes. Before I start, just let you know that Firstly, I do have other podcasts for sleep. I've got a deep sleep whisper hypnosis podcast, a sleep hypnosis weekly podcast, and I've got other podcasts as well.

I've got one for anxiety, stress and panic attacks. So just go to Spreaker.com and just put my name in in search and you'll find me. The other thing is that I have removed all adverts from all of my podcasts so you no longer have to sit through adverts trying to sell you socks or whatever.

So I got myself a book and it's basically it's called The Great Book of British Useless Information. Everything you ever wanted to know about Britain. I think it should be everything you never wanted to know about Britain but it's by Hannah Warner and I got it from The Works.

It's a bookshop. Basically they sell cheap books. So it was recommended retail price £8.99. It's got a big sign, huge savings and it was only £3 to buy.

So published by John Baker, John Blake Publishing.co.uk. So I got this and this was kind of part of my little plan is to start buying a few few books which has just pointless information. Maybe not pointless but you know stuff that I can just play around with and I'm gonna get some books probably on... There was one book there. I didn't want to spend much money to be fair.

I think £3 is a fair amount. I should get a few hundred hours worth out of this over time. But I saw a book on... I think it was how to maintain some kind of car.

It was from like 60 years ago but that was £6.99 so I didn't want to pay that amount. Today, before I start with this boring stuff, or today I mean yesterday. It is now the 22nd I think of August 2019.

Yesterday or last night I made two recordings. One was for deep sleep whisper hypnosis. I think it's 133.

It's a number 133 and then I also did number 48 relaxation hypnosis for stress anxiety and panic attacks. Now that was a good session actually. I came out of that thinking oh that was quite good.

I didn't know that stuff was inside my head. And Andre seems happy. He seems really happy.

Really chilled out. He's not scratching or anything. And he... what did I do today? Oh yeah, last night I wasn't up all night and I wasn't up all night the night before either.

And I won't be up all night tonight. I'll easily be in bed by four. So these seven o'clock, eight o'clock in the morning things has kind of come to an end.

If I go to bed at four I can be up at midday and I've got the whole day ahead. So I woke... I don't know if I went to bed about three in the morning yesterday. I woke up about nine and I had the window, angular windows coming around to measure my door.

And I thought they would come around to see whether I needed a new door but they weren't. He was just coming around to measure it and he said, you're getting a new door. That's it.

The thing is he was grumpy. He was really grumpy. And I said, are you all right? And he said, oh no.

He was stuck in traffic for an hour due to roadworks or something. And I thought, I wonder if he's getting paid to do his job. I wonder if he's getting paid.

Because I can imagine if you're not getting paid, that'd be annoying. I mean, double glazing the window companies, they get paid quite well, I think. But I don't know.

But you know, so your day gets better. And he went away. He just was only there for four or five minutes.

But in the morning, because I didn't have any food, well, I had some food, but I didn't have much in the way of eating food. I've got a few frozen bits in the freezer, which is where I usually keep them, but not much in the fridge, which is where I keep fridge stuff. And then I thought, hmm, I'm going to go into town, get myself some, a bit of shopping.

Because I've run out of water, boiled water, and a few bits. I went into town, I got a delivery ordered. That came between four and six.

I think it got here about 4.55, I think, roughly. And so I went into town. I said hello to my, there's a big issue seller that I say hello to.

So I said hello to her, bought her a coffee, and went in there and into the coffee shop place. I don't know, it's one of the ones, I think it's one of the ones that don't pay tax. I'm not sure.

I think so. And I said, coffee, please. He said, what type? I said, I don't care.

I'm not drinking it. Pee in a cup if you like, I'm not bothered. I didn't say that, but just, you know, so I got the coffee.

And it was quite weird because I was the only customer there. And I was standing at the counter near the till. There was no one else there.

One person sitting down. And she did the coffee and she took it all the way to the other side of the counter, the end of the counter, and put it down and showered out cappuccino. Instead of just handing it to me there, I can understand doing that when it's busy, but there's only one person.

And I went over, so I had to walk up to the other side of the counter. I said, thank you. And she just ignored me.

And this on this occasion, before you ask, first of all, I hadn't farted. And I was wearing trousers. So I don't know why she ignored me.

It's one of those days, I suppose, I don't know. So I came out, gave the big issue person, I've forgotten her name. Anyway, I call her, I call her Bi, you know, big issue.

And give that to her. I said, see you, Bi. And it was quite weird.

And when I say, when I first say that, hi, Bi. She said, which is it? I said, hi, Bi. Where are you going? Are you coming? I said, neither really.

And she said, go away. No, she didn't. She said, do you want to buy a big issue? I said, nah.

And she said, no one wants to buy it. I said, I know, but why would they? She said, what do you mean? I said, well, it's people seem generally don't, first of all, not many people seem to carry cash anymore. And also, everything seems to be digital now.

Not everything, but most things are sort of digital, like magazines and stuff online. So buying a magazine is kind of a bit outdated now. It's, which is a shame.

It's like, I don't know what else. I suppose unless they get the big issue sellers to sell like a little card, which is you scratch off and it gives you access to the website or something. By the way, for those who don't know what a big issue seller is, it's a big issue is a magazine for the homeless.

So it gives someone that's homeless an opportunity to make money for themselves. So they have to buy the magazine first, I think like for a pound each, then they sell it for two pound 50 or something. And yeah, it's like, that's kind of, and they're quite strict who they have.

And you got to, you know, make sure you do it properly and you're not allowed to wear fruit on your head for some reason. But I don't know if that's true. And yeah, it's a shame.

I'd sort of, she'd probably make more money if she was just begging. If she just sat down, had a dog with her, people would give her money, which seems just, oh well. So I left and I said, bye, bye.

She said, see ya. She said to me, when are you coming back? I said, nah, I don't know. She said, are you coming back today? I said, no.

She said, where have you been? I haven't seen you. I said, why so many questions? It seemed like she was actually genuinely glad to see me, but I don't go into town that often. But when I do, I like just go and say hello to her.

Sometimes you get a little bit of shopping for her and stuff. So anyway, I went into, around the corner, I went to the bookshop, got this book for three pound. Could have given that pat.

It was on the cart, so I didn't have any cash. But I did, I spent two pound eighty on a coffee for her, which would have, you know, if I'd have got a magazine, it would have been two pound fifty. So she got an extra thirty pence.

Now, well, I don't know. Two pound eighty seems a lot for a coffee. Anyway, as I was leaving, she chucked a football in my head, which was weird.

And I went to the bookshop and had a look around. I thought, you know what I'll do? I'll have a look around. Which is what I did.

So I did, I had a look around. And since I was last in there, they've moved stuff around, moved the books into different sections. And I saw a few books I quite liked the look of.

But I wasn't really going in there to buy something for me. I was going in there specifically to get a book for this podcast. Which is what I did in the end.

I got that. Then I went to Iceland and got my food organized for delivery. Then I went into another shop and got some cleaning liquid, carpet cleaning liquid for my carpet cleaning machine that I've got.

So that was 10 pound. So the bank balance is going down bit by bit. And I come home and I'm probably home by 12, probably before 12 o'clock.

And as I said, the door man came along, measure the door and skipped away with a happy smile. I'm in a tune and then I had about two hours before the four o'clock because my delivery was booked between four and six. So I thought I've got this carpet cleaning liquid, whatever it's called.

And it's probably four times bigger than the liquid container that I had that came with the actual machine. So I thought, oh, okay. So what I did is I cleaned the entire hallway.

And then I cleaned pretty much half of the living room. And it really does look, you can really see the difference. I actually feel in some ways kind of brightened my day up a little bit, just having a cleaner carpet.

And also there's just in case there are a few fleas in the carpet, which I don't think there are. But that cleaner machine will get rid of everything. So tomorrow I'm probably going to do the rest of the living room.

So I'll do the other half. And then Friday, if I've got enough liquid left, because I've used quite a lot of it, I'll start having a go in the bedroom. But then the bedroom doesn't... Well, there's quite a big part of the bedroom that won't really need much in the way of cleaning, which will be the area under the bed, because Andre can't get under there.

And I don't walk under there. I don't spend much time in the bedroom. Andre spends way more time in the bedroom than me, apart from when I'm asleep.

You know, he doesn't just sleep in there. He's asleep in there now, on my bed. But he's, you know, that's his place.

He plays, he does all kinds of stuff in there. So that's more his room than it is mine in some ways. So I'm quite pleased with the carpet.

I can't see it very well because I've got my reading glasses on. And it's not the same colour as it was when I first purchased it. But that was four years, over four years ago.

You know, it's worn in. I can't blame Andre for everything, you know. Although I like to.

But as far as scratching the carpet, he doesn't really do that much now. But wow, he really did when he was little. He ripped the carpet to bits, absolutely destroyed the carpet.

In every, everywhere, the hallway, bedroom, he really destroyed everything he could get. Anything he could bite or tear out with his fingernails, he did. He just, he was relentless.

So, so that was it. That's pretty much the day I had the delivery that came in. And what's really weird is the man delivering, I heard the van coming.

So I was trying to get all the carpet done before four. And then I was listening out for the, for the van. So I heard the van, I heard what I thought was the sound of the van unloading.

I kind of know the sound of it. And I looked out the kitchen window and I saw it was. So I undid the locks on that front door and just, I didn't open the front door, but I just left it ready to open.

And I was doing something in the living room. I don't know what, tidying something or doing a washing up or something like that. And I could see he was going to come upstairs any minute.

So I was just like listening out. And he knocked on the door. It was so loud.

Honestly, I think he's got a metal hand. I mean, might have a metal hand, I suppose. It was like, literally, even though I knew he was going to knock, I didn't know it's going to be that loud.

You know, even though I knew it's just the food delivery man, when I heard the knock, I thought it was the police. I was like, oh no, not again. It's like, remember the, was it the man with a golden gun? What was the, what was the one with the, he had a metal hand, a golden hand.

What was it, gold finger? That'd be gold finger, wouldn't it? Man with a golden hand? Or the baddie out in front of the dragon? Bruce Lee film. I don't know, anyway, it just, it was noisy. I thought he was going to break the door.

I felt like saying, oh wait, I've got to wait 10 weeks before I even hear from the, the door people. Don't break it now. Wait till then.

I didn't say that though. And, you know, he put the stuff down and, so I, I've got a, like a little back issue. Not like a, not an issue from the past.

I mean, like physical, physical, a nice physical back issue on my left lower back. And it hurts. That's, that's what it was.

So it's worn. So this is just a age-related, age, age-related thing. And, or worn, this is worn out.

You know, I did a lot of physical work when I was younger, as well as sort of doing physical training and going to the gym and different things. But a lot of my jobs when I was, you know, in my teens and twenties was physical, hard physical labor, loading and unloading lorries and stuff like that. Lifting boxes improperly, you know, sort of not, not taking care of my back.

And so sometimes when I, just walking long, walking sometimes it hurts. If I walk for too far and if I carry stuff, especially if I'm off balance. I don't mean walking on a tightrope.

I don't, there's no tightrope between the bus stop and my house, just on a pavement. Just, you know, if you sort of, if I've got two carrier bags and one's got, I don't know, potatoes, big bag of potatoes, maybe a bottle of milk and, you know, four pack of tinned beans in one bag. And the other bag has got like a little, little bag of feathers.

It kind of, it's a bit uneven and it can hurt, hurts my back. And I'm sure there was a reason why I was mentioning my back and I forgot what it is. Something to do with my back.

Oh yeah. So when I get deliveries, I sometimes feel that, and actually it's not just because I feel it. I've been told and by delivery people or asked, aren't you going to help me? Because I've got stairs where I live.

I mean, it's not like a big, huge block of flats where it takes an hour to get to the top. But then you'd use a lift, I suppose. But it's just one set of stairs.

And I don't know how many steps there are because I've never been bored enough to count. But, you know, I suppose if you're carrying stuff, it's quite heavy, but that's the job, isn't it? That's the job. Carrying stuff, if you're delivering, is the job.

And which is why I get deliveries because I don't have a car. I don't have any supermarkets close to where I live. And I can't carry too much stuff because it hurts my back.

It's not that I can't physically carry it. I'm strong. I can carry stuff, but I feel it afterwards.

Which is weird, really, because it's like I'm physically doing it, but I don't know it's still after it's done. Because I actually gave, yeah, I carried a freezer. When I first moved in it, not long after I moved in, someone gave me a, yeah, washing machine.

And I carried it, with someone else carried it with me. They are really heavy. And I carried it, got it upstairs, and I had to lie down for about an hour because of my back.

It just, oh, sore. And that's boring. Anytime I want to bore someone, I'm going to tell them about my back.

It's brilliant having stuff like that. I always sometimes wish I still had my ingrown toenail, so I could tell people about that as well. All right, so what I'm going to do is, see, this is a copyrighted book.

So I can't just read it, you know, like straight out, but I'll just read you a few little bits out of it. And as I said, it's called The Greatest Book of British Useless Information by Hannah Warner. So go out and buy this book.

So, oh, I had a power, my light bulb went out in the living room. So I went into the kitchen, went and got another light bulb. And I had to stand on a chair because I can't reach it.

I can touch the light bulb, but I can't put any, I can't lift it up, if that makes sense. It's not because it's heavy. It's a light bulb, it's not, it's not like it's a lighthouse light bulb.

It's, which I imagine are quite heavy, depending on the size of the lighthouse and I suppose the weight of the light bulb as well. I took it out, put the other one in the hole, turned it around a little bit, wiggled it so it went in nice. And then I turned the switch on, nothing.

I want to say nothing. I mean, the world kept turning and the life carried on, but there's, you know, there was no light coming out of the light bulb. And I thought, it's not, what's going on? And I kind of got onto the chair again, I twiddled it around, and I kept turning the light bulb on and off, the light on and off, the switch and nothing.

And then I thought, ah, I went into the kitchen, turned the light on, nothing, hallway, no light. There was a light, the light bulbs were there, but there's no electricity. So the light bulb had, what do they call it, clicked switch or switched, switched, switched it, switched, clicked or clicked and slicked or something.

So basically I had to go to the, the power point, which is in the cupboard, well, the storage room, and there's a power box, and I needed to turn it back on. So going there, luckily, I've only found this out recently, there's actually a light in there that works, even when the power's off, which I don't understand how that happens, but that comes on, so I can see what I'm doing. I go to close the door, and I hear this massive screech, it's Andre.

And because it's dark, or darkish, I didn't see that he was following me. And he's like, I basically, I was trying to close the door on him. I was trying to close the door so he didn't come in, but I didn't know he was, I thought he was still asleep in the bed.

So he must have just jumped down as soon as he saw me. Probably as soon as he saw me open the door, heard me open the door, probably ran around, because he loves going in there. I picked him up, made sure he's okay, made sure he's, you know, I didn't hurt him or anything, and he's, he's laid in my arms, just looking at me.

What did you do that for, Daddy? But he wasn't hurt, you know, I just like checked him out, make sure everything was fine. But I think it was a little bit of a shock to him. It was a shock to me as well, I just didn't know he was there.

Anyway, I turned the light, the switch back on, and so I'm holding Andre and doing it at the same time, and the lights on. I do believe that's the end of the light bulb story. Yeah, I think that's, that's all that happened.

But I've got the big light on behind me, and that's much nicer in this room than the light bulb, because the light bulb in the lamp, the normal light isn't actually that bright. But the light behind me is. So that's, yeah, I kind of prefer it.

So this book, Great British History is the first chapter. So what I'm going to do, I'm just going to pick a few bits out, instead of like reading it from start to finish. I'm just going to pick a few bits out.

Oh, wow. Well, this one is probably not very, not the funniest thing, but apparently, according to this, 13 couples on board the Titanic. 13 couples that were on board the Titanic were on their honeymoon.

So let's see what other words are there. All right. Not all of this is particularly nice stuff.

Well, this is interesting. Apparently, according to this, it was a mandatory to have a ponytail in the British Army until the early 19th century. What other things is there? Ah, look at this.

The first person ever to withdraw money from a cash machine was On the Buses star Reg Varney, who opened the world's first cash dispenser at the Enfield branch of Barclays Bank on the 27th of June, 1967. The maximum withdrawal at a time was 10 pound. So cash dispensers, or ACM, I don't know what you call them in America, but they were invented in England.

And the first one was the Enfield. And I was born in Enfield. How about that then? So, I don't know how true any of this stuff is, by the way.

Apparently, Great Britain and America went to war in 1859. Over a pig. The pig war began on the 15th of June, when an American settler named Lyman Cutlar shot and killed a trespassing pig that belonged to Englishman Charles Griffin on the present day San Juan Island in Washington State.

Ah, I don't know if this is true. British naval hero Lord Nelson suffered from seasickness all his life. Wow.

Okay, so what we got? Oh, this is interesting. Surnames were not used in Britain until after the Norman conquest of 1066. Prior to that time, people were only known by their first name.

But we kind of still are really, aren't we? In a sense. That sounds like a joke. Oh dear.

The first nursery school for young children, whose parents had to go to work, opened in Scotland in 1781. Here's one. When Britain abandoned the Julian calendar in favour of the Gregorian calendar in 1752, the 3rd of September became the 14th of September, and 11 days were lost.

There was a public outcry as people demanded the return of their 11 days. Wow. Oh, here's something I think is very interesting.

Venetia Burney, from Oxford, was just 11 years old when she came up with the name Pluto for the newly discovered planet, named after the Roman god of the underworld in 1930. Ah, another thing. Wow, England has done a lot of firsts in the world.

The first airmail letter was carried by balloon from England to France in 1785. When I first read that, which was just now really, I thought, how do they know where the balloon was going to end up? But then I suppose, thinking about it, there must be like a hot air balloon with like a basket or something, because you wouldn't just... I imagine, just guessing, that just a balloon with helium in it, with a bit of string attached to a letter, would be less efficient than a pigeon. I don't know, because pigeons used to be used, didn't they? All right, so what's the next page? Let's see what else is there.

Oh, look at this. Lillian Lindsay became Britain's first female dentist in 1895. And in 1984, the second female dentist arrived.

No, I don't know. Isn't it weird, though? Imagine a female dentist, 1895, at a time when women weren't allowed to vote, had no kind of say in anything, yet to be a dentist and to, I don't know, just think it's cool. Not being able to vote, but being a dentist.

Must have taken a lot to be able to pull that off. I wonder how she managed to do it, because those doors were closed, weren't they, for a lot of people? I'll talk about women. Another one, the first English woman legally, legally to appear on the stage in England, is believed to have been Margaret Hughes, who appeared as Desdemona in Othello at the Vier Street Theatre in London on the 8th of December, 1660.

Because I remember reading or seeing something where women weren't allowed to be on stage, so the men had to dress up as women, which is a bit, seems a bit strange, really, but not men dressing up as women, because that's obviously fine, but just why would women be, why would it be illegal to, I mean, you think if you've got a play that's got men and women in, it makes sense to, er, okay, the shortest war in history, the shortest war in history was between Great Britain and Zanzibar on the 27th of August, one day after my birthday, 1896. Zanzibar surrendered in less than 40 minutes. Ah, I didn't know this.

Robins only became a symbol for Christmas in the 19th century, when postmen, who mostly bought mail at Christmas, wore scarlet waistcoats and were known as Robin Redbreasts. Because robins are around all the time, aren't they? Anyway, I remember years ago, it was, it would have been 2009, I'd just finished the second year of my university degree, and it was the summer holidays, and I had this reclining garden chair, and I was in the garden, in the back of the garden, away from everyone else, and it was near the washing line, but I was there, and I was reading a, I think it was possibly Roland May's psychotherapy book or something, and this Robin Redbreast, this Robin, just this Robin, kept flying near me, just kept coming close and then flying off again.

Beautiful.

So, what else is there? Ah, the first crossword in a British newspaper appeared in the Daily Express on the 2nd of November 1924. Wow, look at this, here's another one. At the beginning of the 20th century, almost a quarter of the world's population lived under British rule.

That's a, must be a lot of paperwork, a lot of letters being sent out. Oh, okay. In 1305, King Edward I decided that the inch should be fixed at the length of three barleycorns.

So, King Edward I is responsible for the inch. So, if someone brags saying I've got, I've got nine and a half barleycorns here, trying to brag, you'll realise there's not so good. So, the Royal Mail first allowed the sending of picture postcards in 1894.

30 years later, 16 million were being sent every year. I think with picture postcards, it's usually kind of holiday time, isn't it? That they're sent when someone's on holiday and they send a, like a postcard, which is what they're, yeah, picture postcards. See, I don't know what it's like where you are, but in England, well, in the places that I went to when I was younger, and we used to go to quite a few different seaside places, like Wales and lots and lots of different places when I was living with my dad.

And there'd be postcards and it'd be like saucy seaside postcards and pictures of, ladies with, you know, bits and men and just like very kind of suggestive poses and things. Yeah, they were great. I liked them.

But I remember when I was in Bulgaria, it's back in 2002, I think. And in the hotel, as you came out the hotel, on the right hand side, there was this shop and they sold postcards. But for some reason, the postcards had naked women or topless women on.

I mean, I was, I was angry because they were two pound each and I just didn't have enough to buy all of them. So angry. Oh dear.

I don't know if this is true. Researchers believe more British... I'm going to get it out. I mean, read it.

Researchers, researchers believe more British passengers than any other nationality died on the Titanic because they queued politely for lifeboats. Wow. Of course, it does start with researchers believe.

Oh, here's another one. God Save the Queen, the song, the national anthem, was the first performed, was first performed in 1745 and is the oldest national anthem still in use today. Wow.

I need to get more of these books, but from different countries. It's a great book of America or the great book of Canada or the great book, useless information about Australia and stuff like that. This is, I'm quite liking this.

Here's another bit. Only 12% of homes in Britain had electricity in 1921. Only 12%.

Wow. So I'll just do a couple more and then we'll bring this boringness to an end. Okay.

Again, I don't know if this, well, it's in there whether it's true or not. And in 1959, the Kew Gardens Hotel in London became the first British hotel or restaurant to install a microwave oven. Wow.

The first use of 999 for emergency telephone calls. I know it's like 911 in America and different number for different countries, I'm sure. But we have 999.

So the first use of 999 for emergency telephone calls was in 1937. Originally, the emergency number had been a single one, but a change was made after too many accidental false alarms. Okay, here we go.

John Fletcher Dodd opened the country's first holiday camp in Keister-on-Sea near Great Yarmouth in 1906. The camp, I've read this through first before reading it to you. Get this.

This is a holiday camp. This is somewhere where you go on holiday. You know, you've worked all year and this is your one week off.

You're going with your family. You've been looking forward to this all year long. The camp rules included a ban on alcohol, gambling, improper language, and noise after 11pm.

When you think that it couldn't get any worse than that. Wait for this. There were also fines for being untidy.

Wow, I've got a long, this is the last one for today. This is funny. During the 17th century, scummy burglars believed that they would never get caught as long as they carried a toad in their pocket.

We all know that burglars are a bit thick, a bit dumb, but what? I can't read one more, sorry. In Tudor times, men believed that rubbing horse urine into their scalp would prevent baldness. It would prevent lots of things, like relationships, losing your virginity, getting a job.

Trust me, rubbing horse urine into your scalp messes up any chance of doing well in a job interview. I suppose. Wow.

There's so many here. In 1358, there was said to be only four public toilets or latrines in the whole of London, including one on London Bridge that discharged straight into the river. Wow.

Wow, that's the first of that. I could continue reading it probably all night, but I won't because that's not fair on anybody. So, I'll be back again probably tomorrow, being boring as ever, and I'll see you then.

So in the meantime, if you're still awake, remember to be kind to yourself and be gentle. Lots of love. Bye.